#i DID smoke the entire thing. small one tho so. and again i fucking suck at it lol so not much in my head

[m-i91]

I’ve heard writing things down and getting you’re thoughts out on paper is very good for you a bunch over the years and have never actually tried it. I’m pretty sure nobody I know and follow uses this anymore so I guess I’ll do it here seeing as my laptop apparently doesn't have Microsoft word anymore. It’s hard for me to start this off,I’ve never been one for sharing whats inside of me with anybody really. I type that but I was probably way better at it earlier in life. Thats  probably fairly common tho in this world, grow up and start getting the shit kicked outta you cus this world is so fucking brutal and start getting stomped on by people over and over and naturally we all would start keeping things inside ourselves more. Enough on the craziness that i cant change tho. laughing while writing this because it feels a bit ridiculous but I bet it'll actually be helpful think this is basically the same as therapy and i fucking hate talking to people. The past probably ten months have been extremely fucking trying and I'm not going on like this much longer. I met somebody that i really liked and naturally i did what i always do, i fell way too quickly and went too hard once again for somebody who was repeatedly telling me she wasn't looking for anything serious. I know i know, she told you that and you didn't listen so too bad so sad. i know, its just how I'm wired. I've basically never not been alone in my life. I've had a very small friend group my whole life and idk i probably have a few that would say they consider me a good friend but i feel like theres only a couple people out there that would even notice if i was gone. I know everybody says shit like that and I've been saying it to myself since the second grade, it is what it is. growing up with barely any friends over the years and constantly getting picked on, it gets old. I grew up having absolutely zero confidence. i was the kid in school who ran between classes cus i didn't want to run into the wrong people and i wanted the day to get over as fast as possible. i got to senior year of high school and had never kissed a girl and plenty of people knew and teased me about it. That definitely bugged me but like not much cus i knew i had literally no confidence anyway, like i couldn't even have an actual conversation with an adult and look them in the face. Honestly senior year of high school was like my first time hanging out with anybody in my class outside of my small friend group over the years and i wanted to shoot myself in every one of those social situations. it sucked and i just wasn't cut out for that, if i wasn't smoking and drinking a bit at the time things would have been even darker. i survived high school barely, made a couple new friends and lost some at the end. the new ones all ended up being temporary but anybody thats ever come into my life that didn't leave it on bad terms ill always have love for. my time at 4cs, looking back on it was fucking awful. i have a couple fun memories with my buddys but they mostly involve taking bong rips in the parking lot before class, not very responsible but i was so unhappy. i cant even remember if i was there for one year or two at this point, all i know is my dad told me halfway through a semester that me living at home wasn't working any longer and to pick a state school and get in and he'd send me. the 4cs days were the first time i ever really got my heart crushed. it got badly tattered in 8th grade when i told a girl id been friends with for a long time that i liked her and she said ill talk to you tomorrow and then i went to school the next day and shed told all her friends and i never heard from her again, just got laughed at  the entire day, especially that extra special mrs simpson math class. i moved on from that and did my own thing for a long time. somebody at 4cs showed some interest in me and she was beautiful so naturally i did what i do and went way too hard way too quick and she naturally ran. that one stung. again did a few months by myself and tried to work on me. ended up meeting somebody a few months later and hit it off at first but that relationship turned toxic and i made myself stay way longer than i should have. i was alone for a long time after that and had some very dark days, very down on myself. i moved in with some new ex friends at i believe 15 westwind road and i believe those were the days where i started basically falling in love with anything female with a beating heart that showed any slight interest in me. i was seriously fucking struggling and me not dealing with my pain properly caused me to hurt some people that i really cared about and do some really stupid shit in a small period of time. after a bad ending at westwind i had another year where i really tried to focus on me and work on myself but i was definitely still fucking up and making bad decisions. my second year on comme ave was better and i was making some progress. the beginning of covid hit and i got pretty down, seriously dark days then too. i met E jeez i don't even know, sometime in the winter in the beginning of covid. we talked for a long time before we ever actually met. we talked about going on a hike at one point but me not currently having a car ended up being a deal breaker on that and that sucked but we talked for another few months and things were still going well and at one point we ended up deciding we’d meet for a red sox double date with one of her friends and one of mine. its sad how bad my memory of this is when it wasn't even long ago but i guess thats what happens in these situations. probably plenty of stuff I'm trying to suppress combined with a lifetimes worth of weed and booze since but that doesn't help. after that first date i feel like we were inseparable. she had emphasized at the very beginning that she wasn't looking for anything serious but when you spend that much time with somebody and build memories like that and speak with them every second, when they become your best friend you forget that conversation that they aren't looking for anything serious. And remember this, if they tell you that theres a reason. Even if you think there isn't, that is almost always code for (......with you). i mean we spent like fifteen months spending tons of time together and speaking every day and she goes back to school and two weeks or so after id seen her last she asks if she can call me and tells me theres somebody else at her school and thats it and she's posting pictures with said person by the end of the week. Should i not be upset? So theres that, and while all that was going on we have this. I had this friend, we’ll call her G. we’d matched and talked for awhile years ago but i was going through a really tough time and she came on a little strong and i think i essentially told her to leave me alone. Not a great look on my part and i wouldnt have been surprised if i never heard form her again. i never forgot about this girl and years went by, covid starts and id been working on myself for over a year and was feeling good and wanted to meet some new people. i matched with G again the day after matching with E and naturally we started talking again and probably a bit more than i was talking with E since we already knew each other. I was super busy and talked to a bunch of people for a little while, just making friends but not actually meeting anybody. I met E and we had a lot of fun together but when she left for school she stopped talking to me and i figured there was somebody else that she met at school. it sucked but it is what it is. Me and g started to grow closer and she shared with me some very personal things. i felt very close to this girl, i still do. I thought i was in love with e and if what i feel for g isn't love then idk what it is.. I'm sure itll take a few more months alone to actually know. G had divulged to me that she probably cant have children to me at one point and i felt horrible for her because she loves kids and shed be a great mom. e came home from school and we spent a few great months together and i decided i was getting a little too close with e (probably shoulda reminded myself about the IM NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING SERIOUS deal but hey I'm  not a couple douche, or so i like to think) and i told g things are getting serious with this girl I'm friends with and i just wanted to be up front with you about it. in the back of my mind the kids thing was probably in my mind a bit which I'm a fucking idiot for, I'm way too young anyway and looking back on it this girl was probably my soulmate and i blew it, you find a person like that and you decide you want kids, adopt a fucking kid and give them a good home. I'm so not stable enough yet anyway to be handling the funds required to raise a little one but i just feel like id be a good dad. so she told me to delete her off everything naturally and we essentially haven't talked since. e told me there was somebody else in february and in may i was going to texas alone and hurting real bad and a girl got on my flight who looked just like g and i was shellshocked. this girl sits down in the aisle in front of me on the right and i stared at the back of her seat the entire flight and couldn't help it. I sent her a message like i know you don't want to hear from me but i have to ask that wasnt you right and she replied with essentially a don't talk to me and here i am(shrug emoji). were sitting here july 7th, i just walked outta a dentist appointment to have my wisdom teeth removed cus these guys weren't gunna put me under just sedate me and sorry but I'm not iron man. they basically called me a pussy and i walked off. I'm fucking lost. this world doesn't make sense to me and I'm fucking sick of being a part of it. my life along with this world cant continue on the way things are going. i don't get how mass shootings and hundreds if not thousands of unnecessary deaths on this earth happen every day. were all fucked if the world continues this way but i won't be a part of it much longer anyway if things continue the way they've been going for me. I'm going to make some serious changes and adjust, i had a heart to heart with my dad not long ago and it broke my heart to hear it but he basically told me alright dude if you think nobody in this world likes you then maybe its time to change who you are. it made the tears come even harder at the time but maybe he was right. I think thats all i got for today. i hope nobody actually reads this. until next time

#don't read this

[scornedlove]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

ROBYN

Covering my tattoo didn't feel as liberating as I expected it to. The next few days, I used my sore hand as an excuse to skip work. I didn't do anything but lay on my living room sofa and get high all day. I skipped showers and barely ate. I couldn't even find the energy to talk to Mel or whoever else was blowing up my phone. All I wanted was to be alone. Even when Dre came knocking at my door for the fourth day in a row, I prepared to leave him standing there again. Then he threatened to file a missing persons report.

"I swear to God Anna, you in a bougie ass neighborhood. It won't take long for the police to get here." He shouted, as he peered through my living room window.

"I'm fine! Now go away!" I yelled, barely moving a muscle.

"I wish you would stop acting like a kid! I just want to talk for a minute." The sincerity in his voice made me give in, but I took my sweet time getting to the door. When I cracked it, he still offered a soft smile.

"Can you let me in?" he pleaded, hearing Ollie and Pepe jumping to greet him as well. I sighed, took off the latch, and opened the door to let him in. Once he was in the threshold, they attacked his ankles with love until he bent down to rub their bellies.

“I know you haven’t been to work in a few days. I been calling and stopping by everyday. You got me worried as fuck, what’s going on with you?!” he quizzed, staring me over.

“Damn, a bitch can’t take a vacation? I mean, I am the boss.” I forced a laugh as I pulled out my rolling tray. I could tell I was gonna need to be high for this.

“Who you trying to fool? You don’t look good.” he frowned, shaking his head.

“I’m not trying to look good. I’m tryna get high...you wanna smoke?” I offered, holding it out to him.

“I’m serious. I know you an-”

“I mean, does anyone really know anyone” I side-eyed, cutting him off with a smirk.

“Stop that shit! I’m not joking around. Have you seen your doctor yet?” he snapped, getting to the reason behind his calls and visits. The doctor in him  had to make sure I was good.

“I made an appointment for his next available opening which is two weeks out, is that okay Dr. Dre?”

“I hate when you do that. Stop making it seem like I’m overreacting.”

“You are, like you always do.”

“Alright, if I’m overreacting, show me how many doses you have left of the meds I gave you last week?” he demanded. I started to blow him off, but realized he was right. I had taken them all.

“I was having some stomach pain and headaches. They were the only thing that stopped it.” I explained, as I lit the blunt I finished rolling.

“That’s what I’m trying to get you to understand. You need them, go get a prescription cause I feel like you need something stronger than what I gave you.”

“Do you think you could hook me up with a few more, since I have to wait two more weeks?”

“Hell nah. I can’t hook you up with shit, but if you come to the office I can get you on the books.”

“Damn, I forget you a man who goes by the books.” I blew a few rings of smoke in his direction.

“Do you have to smoke so much?”

“Do you have to be in my fuckin business so much?”

“Wow. Really?”

“You heard me. You stay acting like you care so much. Why is that? Huh? You want some pussy? If that’s all you want just say that, I mean, I could use some dick too”.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You know what, I don’t know what you’re on right now, but I’m out. Call me when you’re sober” he stormed out, slamming my front door.

The noise from the slam created a tingling ache in my stomach that traveled up to my chest. Suddenly the room felt too small and I couldn't catch my breath. I squeezed my eyes as tight as I could and wrapped my hands around my elbows, as I rocked back and forth. I don't know how long it took for it to subside, but when it did, I realized I'd pissed on myself. I guess Dre was right after all, this was getting out of control.

I got up and ran myself a bubble bath. When I got out, I looked myself over in the mirror and was disgusted with my reflection. My skin was a mess, I was in need of a brow wax, and worse of all, I had a huge cluster of pimples on my chin. On top of looking like shit, I still felt like shit. I knew this couldn’t go on, so I called John to let him know I needed him tomorrow for the entire day. It was time for some much needed self love.

CHRIS

“I’m cool on relationships. I'm mad I even wasted time on that shit” I spat, tossing back a shot of Henny.

“Don’t beat yourself up bro, I told you about that long distance shit. She was probably fucking somebody else too”

“She was celibate T” I repeated for the umpteenth time, shaking my head with irritation.

“Whatever you say” he chuckled, sticking to his cheating theory.

“You know what, this is pretty much your fault now that I think about it”

“How you figure that?”

“You’re the reason I went on that double date, and you’re the reason I was stuck with Ryan’s drunk, freaky ass” I exclaimed, almost knocking over my chaser. I hadn't been this faded since Trey's bachelor party.

“Well damn, sounds like you need to be thanking me.”

“I lost my girl because of you”

“No, you lost a dead end relationship. Nobody wants to be stuck in that long distance shit, and she wasn’t giving up the goods either! That ain’t no way to live”

“Fuck you T. Everything is a joke to you huh?

“I’m sorry bro. For real tho, if you can say you were happy, or that she was your soulmate or some shit...then I’ll apologize” he stated before a long pause. “Exactly”

“Yeah, you might be on to something, but I guess now we'll never know”

“No, I am right and you know it. You need to get ya manhood back. This is the best the west coast has to offer, and you get the pick of the litter.” he slurred, as he waved some chicks in our direction. Before I could protest, two dancers approached us. They were both rocking dazzled lingerie and matching masks on their faces. The shorter one straddled T’s lap and immediately began gyrating on him.

“Hey baby, it’s been too long. I thought you wasn’t fucking with me anymore, but I see you brought a friend.” she smiled, placing his hands on her ass.

“Yeah, this my brother. He just got dumped and needs to be welcomed to the single life”

“Well he came to the right place. This my girl Goldilocks. It’s her first night, so don’t worry, she’ll be gentle.” she smirked, making eye contact with her as she nodded in my direction.

On cue, Goldilocks sat on my lap and started to whine her hips to Juvenile's slow motion. I couldn’t front, it had been so long since I had some ass, it didn’t take long for me to stand at attention.

“Follow me” she ordered, leading me towards the back of the club. She found the last empty room and lead the way inside.

“Sit there” she motioned towards the sofa as she seductively removed her bra and tossed it at me.

“MMMMM” she moaned, placing my hands on her breasts. I squeezed and rubbed her nipples while she grinded on me in her panties. She leaned into me and began to suck softly on my neck. Her scent filled my nostrils, and that’s when Robyn invaded my mind. Goldilocks was wearing Dolce and Gabana, her favorite perfume.

“Don’t stop touching me” she groaned, grabbing my manhood and squeezing as tight as she could. Her touch was electrifying, sending shocks throughout my body. After a few moments of her skin up against mine, I was ready to take her right there on the couch.

As if she was reading my mind, she stood, stepped back, and began peeling away her stockings. Just when I thought there was no way I could get any stiffer, I noticed a tattoo going down her side. It was just like the one Robyn had. I knew must’ve been tripping, but I had to know if it was her. As quick as I could, I hopped off the couch I was glued to and snatched the mask from Goldilock’s face.

“What the fuck!” I yelled as she jumped back and readjusted it.

“I know what you’re thinking, but it’s okay” Rayven sighed trying to calm me down.

“This is not okay!”

“Chill, ya’ll not even together anymore. I know how to keep my mouth shut. Besides, she’s not my cousin anymore. I don’t claim her ass.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?”

“Look, the bitch is crazy and I don’t fuck with her. You obviously don’t either, after the way she beat my ass over your rejection the other day.”

“What? I’m confused. Ya’ll fought?”

“Chris please, stop playing dumb. We fought over you plenty of times! But fuck all of that. Run me my money.?” she ordered, holding her hand out.

“Chill with that, I  ain’t paying you for shit” I pushed past her, grabbed my jacket, and left the room.

ROBYN 

After the way I acted before my panic attack yesterday, I knew I had hella ass kissing to do. I don’t know what I was thinking when I pissed Dre off. He’s the only reason I haven’t gone off the deep end already, so I knew I had to make things right with him. 

I got up super early even though I barely had any sleep. Regardless of how I felt, I was going to make the most of today. I found a full service spa and got the luxury package. It included a full body massage, pedi, mani, and even a wax. I was there for a total of three hours, and by the time I left, I felt like I could conquer the world. 

“Where to boss lady?” John asked, making eye contact through the rear view mirror as I slid in the backseat.

“I need to see Aundre. Would you happen to know where he is right now?” 

“I do, but imma be honest with you. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? Did he say something to you?”

“I witnessed the aftermath last night. I’m not picking sides, hell I don’t even know what it was about, but I do know a hurt ego when I see one. Maybe it’ll be best to give him a little space.”

“I’ve known Dre for a long time now. Thanks for the advice, but I got this” I reassured him as he nodded his understanding. “Matter of fact. I have a couple of stops before his office if you don’t mind.”

Almost an hour later, I entered Dre’s office with steak and potatoes from his favorite steakhouse in LA and a bottle of Cabernet in tow. It was a few minutes before noon, so I figured I would surprise him with his favorite. No one can resist their favorite meal, even if they are  pissed.

The first face I saw when I approached the receptionist’s window angered me to the core. I wanted to know what he was smoking on to have this woman in his presence, let alone his business. After everything she did to him, he still gave her what she wanted when she showed up with an open hand, and that had my blood boiling.

“Hi, do you have an appointment?” Teyana asked, without even looking in my direction as she took a seat at her computer.

“Wait...you work here?” I stammered, trying to gather my words.

“No, I just like the uniform” she smirked, rolling her eyes. A million questions ran through my mind and I couldn’t help but want to slap the smirk off her face. They had to be fucking again.

“Can you let Dre know I’m here. I just need a minute of his time.”

“He’s busy with right now, but I can let him know you stopped by.”

“I’ll wait. I just need a minute, this is import-"

"-I'm sorry Robyn, but he's with a patient. He asked me not to interrupt his patients unless it's for his mother. Now I can take your number and have him call you when he gets a chance."

“Are you kidding? You know he would drop whatever he’s doing to see me right?” I snapped in frustration. I was trying to keep the peace, but she was intentionally pushing my buttons. 

“Tuh, girl please” she chuckled, getting a kick out of my attitude. I don’t know who she thought she was playing with, but I wasn’t the one. I took it upon myself to go through the doors that led to the back and found Dre’s office. Which wasn’t very difficult, his door was open and I had a clear shot of him sitting at his desk. 

I walked right past Teyana with a smirk of my own this time. By the time I reached Dre, that smirk was gone. There was some other chick in his office comparing notes with him, which wasn’t the problem. She was practically in his lap with the way she leaned into him, she was so close that one of her big ass breasts was resting on his arm. 

"Excuse me Dr. Dre” I cleared my throat and the girl jumped back. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked in complete surprise. 

“I brought you some lunch, but I guess your still working.” I paused glancing at the now irritated co worker. It was obvious Dre was hiring nothing but eye candy around here. He always had a thing for double d’s.

“Naw, Ms. Westwood and I were just finishing up. Give her these instructions and have her come back in a week” he stated, turning to face her. She grabbed her files and quickly left his office, making sure to look me up and down as she tossed her hair over her shoulder on the way out. Not this bitch too. I was gonna have to have a little talk with Dre about his choice of employees.

“So what is this supposed to be, an apology lunch?” he asked, closing the door to his office. The tone of his voice made it obvious he wasn’t gonna make this easy for me.

“Sorta. I needed to apologize but I wanted to surprise you with your favorite. Besides, this is my first time getting to see this place in person. It’s dope!” I forced a smile, taking a seat in the chair across from his desk. His piercing eyes stayed on mine making him hard to read, so I began to set his food up.

“You don’t have to do that. I don’t have an appetite right now, so I’ll just put that in the fridge until later.”

“Wow. Okay, you’re really upset with me huh?”

“Robyn, I don’t know what fucking planet you living on, but you don’t treat people the way you do and still expect everything to be cool.”

“I said I’m sorry. What more do you want? I don’t know why I say fucked up shit sometimes, but I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

“Well sorry don’t cut it. Shits gotta change.” he shook his head, making me feel shitty.

“That’s why I’m here. I don’t like whatever this is either. I need some help getting it together. Can you help me get through these next couple of weeks?” I sighed as his demeanor instantly hardened.

“And there it is”

“What?”

“The reason you’re here. You’re abusing these drugs and I’m the one supplying you. I’m beginning to notice a pattern, but I don’t want to believe you only come around when you need something from me” he nodded, as if he’d really solved a mystery.

“How dare you?! That’s not fair. You know how hard shit has been for me! You surrounded by all these bitches that’s taking advantage of yo stupid ass, they got you questioning my intentions!” I erupted like a fish out of water. “Everyday is a struggle to get out of bed. How the fuck can I show up for anyone else when I can barely show up for myself?! You know what, nevermind. Fuck it, I don’t need anything from you!”

“Wait! I wasn’t trying to argue and fight but why do you make shit so hard?” he yelled, blocking the exit so I couldn’t storm out. 

“Excuse me. You better get out of my way!”

“Chill Anna. Let’s just go back and have a se-”

“MOVE OUT MY FUCKIN WAY!” I yelled so loud there was no way anyone in the building missed it. He slowly backed from the door, a mixture of hurt and confusion on his face as my eyes met his, glare as intense as laser beams. I didn’t know whether to cry, slap him, or curse him out and act a fool. I couldn’t believe he called me an addict to my face. I had to get out before I did something stupid.

#rihanna #ff #fanfic #fanfiction

[vosiro]

Hot girl shit (SMUT)

Dabi x F!reader (NSFW/PWP)

Basically y’all was at the cookout fucking shit up then went to the club and fucked shit up then went home a fucked shit up this shit just pure filth ngl

Also I didn’t proof read all of it so if you see a mistake, you didnt😃❤️

Today was the day, you were finally finna introduce dabi to ya family at the cookout. You already knew the first rule, don’t. Bring. A. Random. To. The. Cookout. Nobody knew who dabi was, and ole dude looked like walking beef jerky. Fair to say, you were scared as every morsel of the FUCK, because you know them aunties and cousins be talking mad shit for no damn reason. Dabi seemed way more relaxed than you did, honestly, a little too relaxed. “Shiiii doll, you’re so tense and for what?” He smirked “you need some dick to calm you down baby? I’d be down to fuck right here...” He said as he grabbed your waist. “Can you have some fucking tact? I just KNOW they finna eat you up as soon as you walk in the damn back yard.” you snarled as you pulled his hand from your waist. “I know you’re not catching an attitude with me y/n... keep that same energy when you’re screaming my name tonight doll.” You and dabi haven’t had sex for over three weeks, because of y’all’s schedule. You could tell he was a little, ahem... pent up.

“We’re here.” You told him as you two walked into the back yard. Immediately all eyes was turned on you and ya boyfriend. All the little kids ran up to dabi, “are you a zombie?” They asked “y’all don’t be asking them dumb ass questions.” You snapped back. “Maybe I am a zombie...” dabi said as he growled at them. You laughed, but that smile faded as you saw Stephanie, candy, and Alexis. They be the main ones talking shit for absolutely no reason. “Girlllll you see y/n’s man?” Stephanie whispered “right, what kinda extraterrestrial ass being” candy giggled. “Y’all know she always go for the crazy niggas, lemme go talk to her and see what’s up...” Alexis said as she appropached you and your boyfriend. Dabi shrugged these comments off, he was used to this type shit, but you were fuming. “Girllll you can do so much better, it’s the beef jerky skin fa me.” She muttered “Girl and it’s the stiff ass wig fa me, if you don’t get tf miss concrete lace🙄” You snapped back. “Dammnnn baby, you ate that.” Dabi chuckled as y’all walked away to go greet the rest of the family.

Overall, the cookout went well. Your family was pretty accepting of dabi despite his appearance, he looked like he really loved you, and was willing to protect you. He helped your uncle out on the grill with his flames, and played freeze tag with ya little cousins. Your grandma was forcing dabi to get another plate because he was ‘too skinny’, and he did exactly that even though he was full, because he adored your grandma.

Red nose by Sage the Gemini came on, and you already knew what that meant. Time. To. Throw. It. Tf. Back. Dabi was in the backyard with his shirt off, cuz it was hot asf in this bitch. The same cousins that were talking shit were the same ones eyeing him tf down like he was some sort of meal. You peeped this, and decided to make them regret they ever said shit. You came up to your mans, and did what you had to do. Throw that ass all up on him, and you already KNOW he caught that shit. Y’all was lowkey messy with it, your booty was all up on him and his hand were on your lower back swerving tf outta that shit. You felt something poke in between your ass, and you knew it couldn’t just be his belt buckle because dabi is ahem... above average. Ah, he was hard. Really hard. Who knew he would get all bricked up from you throwing it back on him. He leaned down and whispered in your ear, while his hands rested on ur hips, “shiiiiitt baby, you got a guest room in this house we could sneak off to doll face? I wanna fuck you real good...” to say you were just wet from his words was definitely an understatement, since you two haven’t had any action lately, you were literally turned on from just looking at him. “Yea we do, but haven’t you been pent up for the past couple of weeks? You sure you’re not finna nut when you put the tip in?” You said teasingly. “Don’t play with me y/n, or that pretty throat of yours is gonna be stuffed with my cock.” The tone of his voice was nearly feral, it’s not like you could say no anyways, and you wanted it as bad as he did.

You led dabi by hand to the guest bedroom of your childhood home. Once you locked the door you turned around, and that mf stuck his tongue right down your throat. “Don’t ever catch an attitude with me again, okay slut?” he said as he pulled away. “Or what? What are you gon do?” You knew your words would entice the exact reaction you wanted from him. Dabi smirked as he sat on the edge of the bed. “C’mere dollface... And get on your fucking knees.” You did exactly what he told you to. You undid his belt and freed his dick. That shit was throbbing and leaking pre cum at the tip. You grabbed a hold of it and he let out a small groan. You started to stroke it up and down while licking the tip. “Fuuckkk baby... yea... mm just like that... be a good girl for me and suck this cock real good ok?” He managed to get out under his low groans. You took half of his length in your mouth and began sucking. Dabi threw his head back while his hands rested behind him, gripping the sheets. “Fuck fuck fuck fuckkk... mm..cmon, I know you can take all of it you fucking slut...” you were going at a frustratingly slow pace for dabi, it was taking all his willpower not to grab your head and slam his cock down your throat. He pulled your head off his dick and stood up. Dabi grabbed your chin with his forefingers and stuck his thumb in your mouth then twirled it around your tongue. “You were doing that on purpose weren’t you? You fucking bitch... open wide.” You gagged as he stuck his entire length down your down your throat. He started thrusting at an inhuman pace, while his hands made its way to the back of your head. “When... fuck...nngh.. when I say don’t... haa... when I say don’t catch an attitude... with me...FUCK.. don’t catch a fucking attitude... alright?... mm fuck...” just as he was about to cum, someone knocked at the door and you quickly pulled off of him “shit.” You said fixing your clothes and heading to answer the door. It was Alexis. “Y/n, girl, wtf are y’all doing in here? Granny said y’all had to come and get more food.” Alexis knew EXACTLY what she was interrupting. “Uhm fuck, we’ll be down there in a minute... just give us a second, we leaving soon anyways” you sighed.

Y/n - “Let’s go dabi.”

Dabi - “What the fuck? You’re not just gonna leave me like this.”

Y/n - “I don’t have a choice baby, it’s granny, never play with granny’s time.”

Dabi - “Y/n you’re really pissing me the fuck off.”

Y/n - “Okay? and I don’t give a fuck, now tuck your dick in your pants or sum.”

Dabi - “Are you fucking dumb? I can’t hide this shit.”

Y/n - “Well try to baby, please for me”

Dabi - “Fuck, whatever let’s just go home.”

You and your boyfriend said goodbye to everyone at the cookout after grabbing one last plate. Dabi was clearly pissed, and honestly, you had more than enough time to finish him off, but you loved making him mad because that angry sex always hit different. As you two reached your shared apartment, dabi did not hesitate to pick you up and and carry you to the bedroom, roughly slamming you on the bed and letting his tongue explore your mouth. He slide his hands into your pants and felt your dripping essence through your panties. “You were talking all that shit and you were this wet doll? Just from sucking me off? You realize how much of a fucking whore you are right?” You moaned at his words. “Fuck... w-wait dabi, I wanna go somewhere tonight.”

Dabi - “Hm? We can go after you cum on daddy’s dick doll.”

Y/n - “Nooo, we have to go right now if we want the entree fee to be cheaper.”

Dabi - “Entree fee? Where the fuck do you wanna go?”

Y/n. - “Club Jurmane. please baby please can we go, I’ll do whatever you want when we get home”

Dabi - “Club Jurmane? That ghetto ass club on Sukazoki Avenue?

Y/n - “yes that club”

Dabi- “Fine, go get dressed and let’s go”

Even tho he was pissed at you and still semi-hard, he could never say no to you. Honestly, you’re the only person he’s loved in a really long fucking time.

Dabi was waiting on the couch in black jeans and a turtle neck with a chain as you walked outside the bedroom in a small, thin, and short red dress. “You look like a fucking stripper” was the first thing that came out of his mouth, and “..but it’s sexy dollface.” Was the second “that’s what I thought baby~ now let’s gooo”

9:45- at club Jurmane

You two walked in and it smelled like ass, weed, and Hennessy. Strippers were dancing on the poles, dollar bills were scattered across the floor, everyone was shit faced, the music was bussin, and you were ready to get turnt tf up with your boo. “Baby let’s get some drinks at the bar~” you said as you ushered your boyfriend to take a few shots with you. You two were a little drunk before y’all even had any fun fr. You turned to your dabi and he was holding a blunt in his hand, clearly corssfaded.

Y/n - “Boy where in the fuck did yo ass get a blunt from”

Dabi - “Some random gave it to me, wanna hit babe?”

Y/n - “You shouldn’t accept drugs from strangers... gimme that shit🙄”

You smoked the rest of the blunt and now yo ass was cross faded too. Dabi grabbed your hand and dragged you to the dance floor. Your back was to his, “show me what that ass do dollface” and you did just that. No hands by Waka Flocka was playing, and yo ass was pressed up all on Dabi’s dick, and he was hard as shit. Sum about his girl shaking ass on him just got his spirit going, AND he’s been waiting to bust a nut all damn day.

Dabi - “hey y/n let’s go somewhere private okay doll?”

Y/n - “whatttt c’mon let’s dance a little mo-”

??? - “hey y/n! It’s been so long how are you”

Dabi - “who the fuck are you?”

Y/n - “keigo? Is that you? DAMN you’ve changed, ya know being number 2 hero n all”

Hawks - “I know, you’ve changed a lot too since highschool, still fine as hell tho. By the way, call me hawks in public.”

Dabi - “Yea she is, she’s also my girl”

Hawks - “ah I see... anyways y/n wanna dance? Maybe talk and catch up. You don’t have to though, I know sometimes dancing with your ex can be a little uncomfortable.”

Dabi - “nah, she won’t be danc-”

Y/n - “sure! I mean why tf not. It’s only uncomfortable if we make it.”

And with that, you and hawks were dancing, hanging out, talking, and lowkey flirting. Did you know what you were doing? Yes, yes you fucking did. Don’t get me wrong, you absolutely loved dabi with all your heart, and had no feelings for hawks whatsoever, but you just loved to see that possessive and jealous side of your boyfriend. While mid conversation with hawks, you felt a firm grip on your wrist. “What the fuck do you think your doing doll?” Dabi said through gritted teeth. “what am I not allowed to talk to another person with a dick?” You snapped back. “Not when he’s your ex, and he’s clearly tryna make a move on you. Get the fuck up, we’re leaving.” your boyfriend literally picked you up, and flung you over his shoulder. “Dabi what in the actual fuck, if you don’t put me tf down.” He kicked open the club bathroom door and brought you into a stall.

Dabi - “Turn around and put your hands on the toilet tank.”

Y/n - “No wtf that shit dirty as a bitch”

Dabi grabbed your neck and brought himself to your ear “can’t you just be a good girl for daddy? Huh doll? I’m dying to fuck you..” you turned around and listened to what your boyfriend said. “Good girl...” he said as you heard him unbuckle his belt. His hands brought up your dress and pulled your panties down to the middle of your thighs. He rubbed his fingers along your folds. “Did you get this wet from talking to that fucking bird huh?” You whimpered and shook your head no “o-only for you daddy...” he took his member out of his jeans and slowly sheathed it into your dripping hole. “F-fuuckkkk doll... so damn tight...” he groaned, slowly thrusting into you. He started picking up his pace, giving you them hard, fast, deep, thrusts. “Aah.. fuck.. can’t believe you made me...mm.. wait all day for this pussy doll.” Your mind was going hazy, and your moans were getting uncontrollably loud. “D-dabi, what if someone- aah.. what if someone comes.. haa.. comes inside.” You barely managed to get your words out. Dabi landed a sharp smack on your ass “let them...let them hear who’s making you feel this fucking good dollface.” His words made you clamped around his dick. “Fuck yeaaa... you like that shit? You like when I talk to you like a fucking slut?” You kept getting wetter and wetter. “Y-yes daddy!” Yo ass YELLED that shit. Dabi smacked your ass once more, “cum for daddy doll, show me how fucking good you feel.” He then spread ur ass cheeks out, and slipped his thumb into your tight puckered hole “A-ah Dabi... wtf” you yelled. “You think... fuck... my dick... mm... could fit in here dollface?” He managed to say under his groans. You could tell he was close from the way his dick was twitching inside of you. “F-fuck... I don’t know dabi.” You could feel your orgasm creeping up on you, and you started to clench around him. “Shii.. are you close slut? C’mon cum, cum for daddy..” you came exactly when he told you to while yelling his name. He didn’t stop though, he kept ramming into you even after your orgasm hit, making you shake from the overstimulation. Dabi’s thrusts became erratic, you could tell he was about to cum. “F-Fuck... doll... nngh I’m gonna cum... fuck fuck FUCK.. I’m...cumming...” he gripped ur hips tightly as he came. You felt his hands heat up slightly as he moaned, releasing his thick, creamy cum inside you. Dabi pulled out, but he was still hard. “W-why are you still hard...” you said as you tried to get up. He smacked your ass hard asf “get back down slut, I’m not done with you.” Dabi used his cum from your pussy to lube up your asshole, you whined at the feeling of his fingers violating ur tigh hole. He spread your ass cheeks out and started teasing your hole with the tip of his dick. “W-wait you cant just put your dick in like that-” you felt dabi push the tip in, and you instinctively tried to push it out because of the unfamiliar feeling. “Fuck- dabi that fucking hurts.”

Dabi - “If you don’t relax it’s gonna hurt even more doll..”

Dabi pushed the rest of his member into you ass, and it reached deep inside you. “Fuuckkk... you. Look at you.. my pretty little cum sleeve. You say it hurts but you’re squeezing me so. Damn. Tight. I’m gonna cum again doll..” tears started to stream down your face from the mixture of pain and pleasure you were feeling. “Aw, look at my pretty slut crying, you like this shit don’t you? You like feeling my dick reach deep inside... you’d bend over for that short ass winged bastard again like the fucking whore you are wouldn’t you?” You shook your head no, barely being able to form a coherent sentence. “Fuck doll... your pretty, little, tight ass feels so fucking good.” He groaned, picking up the paste of his thrusts. It still fucking hurt but you liked the balance of the pain mixed in with the pleasure. His thrust became erratic again, he was about to cum for the second time tonight. “Don’t c-cum inside.”

“Huh? If I want to cum in your ass, I’ll come in your ass. Don’t tell me what the fuck to do.”

You felt Dabi’s hot cum fill up your ass, while his deck left your anus. He used his finger to scoop back and cum that dripped out of your holes and put them back inside. He pulled up your panties, and pulled your dress back down then smacked your ass once more “make sure you keep my cum inside you like a good girl? Mmk babe?”

Y/n - “It’s gonna drip down my fucking leg..”

Dabi - “Good.”

When you and dabi walked out the bathroom hawks immediately ran up to you and your boyfriend, taking note of your disheveled dress, teary face, and limp.

Hawks - “y/n what the hell happened? Are you okay?!”

Y/n - “I-I’m okay fr.”

Hawks - “what the fuck did you do to her?”

Dabi - “none of your fucking business Tory Lanez.”

Hawks took note of the white substance dripping down your leg. He put two and two together, and realized what actually just happened in that bathroom.

Hawks - “dude.. your fucking disgusting you know that? y/n deserves better than you.”

Dabi - “oh yea? And you ain’t even 5 feet yet so wassup?”

Dabi started to close the distance between him and hawks, blue flames escaping his hands.

Y/n - “dabi dont-”

Dabi - “nah since his bum ass seems to know everything about our relationship, lemme run his shit up.”

Hawks - “I mean you can fucking try it, fuck I look like losing to a walking piece of beef jerky”

Y/n - “BOTH OF YALL CALM TF DOWN. Hawks don’t come for MY mfing man and Dabi you’re doing way too much let’s just go home okay baby?”

Dabi & hawks - “fine...”

You and dabi reached y’all’s shared apartment, and made way to the bedroom, both of you on the bed.

Dabi - “You shoulda let me beat his ass”

Y/n - “Boyyyy, I wanted to, but I didn’t wanna get my my membership revoked, or the popo pulling up.”

Dabi - “Whatever you shouldn’t have hung out with him, or even let him touch you anyways.”

Y/n - “Awww was my little baby jealous?”

Dabi - “Yes I was fucking jealous. You’re mine.”

Y/n - “As I should be, period”

Dabi - “PeRiOd”

Y/n - “Don’t mock me-”

Dabi - “Hey doll.. you said you’d do anything if we went to that dumb club right?”

Y/n - “Yea... watchu tryna do?”

Dabi - “Stay here doll.”

Dabi left the bedroom and returned with some red rope.

Dabi - “Strip.”

Y/n - “What? Don’t tell me you wanna go again. We fucked twice already and I’m sore as fuck, lets just go to bed.”

Dabi - “I said strip.”

Y/n - “Make me, daddy.”

He grabbed your throat squeezing just enough to make you slightly light headed. “Can you stop acting like a slut for just one second, and do what I fucking say?” He let go of your throat, and you stripped head to toe. “Get back on the bed doll face.” Dabi took your hands above your head and tied them to the headboard. He then took each of your ankles, spread your legs out as far as they could go, and tied each of your feet to the headboard as well. He went into the closet and brought out a vibrating dildo.

Y/n - “so you’re just finna tease me with a dildo that vibrates? Whewww, scary, shiver me timbers...”

Dabi- “patience, baby...by the way the safe word is pumpkin.”

He sat on the bed and brought his face right up next to your pussy. His cum was still leaking out both your holes. He stuck out his tongue and licked your booty hole all the way up to the top of your throbbing clit. “D-dabi-” You whimpered out. “Our juices taste good mixed together doll.” He took the dildo and put the setting on low before slowly sliding it into your cum filled hole. Dabi got up off the bed and started walking towards the door.

Y/n - “Dabi what the fuck? You just finna leave?”

Dabi - “I’ll be back in a few, be patient and wait for daddy, alright?”

—————————30 minutes later————————

you heard the bedroom door creak open, it was dabi and he had a giant box... of sex toys. There was every possible adult toy in there you can imagine. Dildos, vibrators, anal beads, butt plugs, you name it. He put the box on the floor, and sat at th edge of the bed where you where all tied up at. Honestly, at this point you were worn out and tired, ready to pass tf out, but dabi didn’t finish having his fun with you yet.

Y/n - “dabi p-please take it out... I want your dick not this toy...”

Dabi - “did you cum?”

Y/n - “no.. the vibrations were too low..”

Dabi - “good... you’ll only cum when I tell you to, alright?”

Y/n - “and if I don’t?”

Dabi - “You’ll be punished of course.”

Dabi crawled onto the bed and put his crotch level headed with your mouth. He unbuckled and unzipped his pants freeing his cock. There was already Pre-cum leaking from the tip and he smothered it all over your face. “Suck.” He said with a stern voice. You shook your head, “no.” Dabi slapped you across the face, leaving a sharp, stinging, sensation behind. “You’re not in a position to deny me doll.” Honestly, that slap hurt so fucking good. You opened your mouth obediently, as he slipped his cock into your mouth while his hands rested on the headboard. He thrusted into your mouth so roughly and deeply you could feel that shit go up and down your throat, you were gagging all teary eyed. “Fuck yea... you suck my dick so good...” dabi groaned as he threw his back. “Shit, baby... yea keep sucking... ima cum soon..” he thrusted into your mouth a few more times before shooting hot spurts of his cum down ya throat. He pulled out and tucked his cock back into his pants before reaching under the bed and grabbing his pistol. “Since you sucked me off like a good fucking slut, lemme reward you baby.” He said as he teased your wet folds with his gun. “I know yo ass is NOT about to shove a gun up me.” You were scared but lowkey curious as to how it felt “relaaax, I cleaned it before hand, trust me baby. I know how to make you feel good. Don’t you dare cum on it though, you only cum on my cock.” Dabi pushed the head of the gun in your dripping cunt slowly. The cold rigged feeling of the metal felt so fucking good against your tight walls. You let out a moan and tried to arch your back best you could under your restraints. “F-fuck dabi..” you let out a shaky moan. “You like that shit? Fuckkk baby, you’re just swallowing that gun up huh? Does it feel better than my cock? You would take anything up this pretty little pussy wouldn’t you slut?” He started to fuck you with the gun rough and hard. You were about to cum from the gun plus the 30 minutes of low-dildo vibrations you received. You felt your orgasm crashing down on you as you moaned loudly. “You really came from that y/n? I thought I told you not to cum unless on my cock you dirty bitch.” Dabi pulled the gun out of you, covered in your juices and his cum.

Y/n - “what the fuck was I suppose to do? I couldn’t hold that shit it.”

Dabi - “I’ll have to punish you for that doll.”

Dabi untied your hands and feet from the headboard he sat at the edge of the bed and signaled for you to come lay on his lap. “Lay on your stomach doll, ass out.” You did exactly that, he had you on your stomach layed out for him. You felt his hand come down and land a sharp, hard smack on your ass. “Count them”

Dabi - “That was one.”

He landed another smack

Y/n - “t-two”

And another

Y/n - “ah! T-three”

Another

Y/n - “four-”

And one last spank

Y/n - “f-five.”

Dabi - “if you come without my permission one more time it’ll be another five spanks, got it doll?”

Y/n - “yes daddy...”

Dabi - “good girl.”

You sat up and straddled Dabi’s waist, wrapping your legs around him. He reached down into the box and grabbed a vibrating butt plug. Dabi lifted you up and started walking towards the door “where the fuck are we going now?” You asked as he carried you out of the room. “To the bathroom baby, I want you to see how slutty you look when I fuck you.” When you two reached the bathroom he set you down in front of the sink with your back turned to his front. You let your arms rest on the bathroom counter, and bent down for him to have easy access. He pulled out his semi-hard cock and lazily jerked it a few times before rubbing the tip along ur folds. He slid in with one quick thrust, and you moaned loudly. “Shit..No matter how hard I... fuck you... you’re always... so.. fuck haa.. so damn t-tight. Shit.” Your head was buried in your arms as dabi thrusted into you. He grabbed your neck and made you look in the mirror as he railed you senseless. “Fuck doll.. look how pretty you are taking my cock like this. My good fucking girl.” He stuck his fingers in your mouth to lube them up, then brough them down to your asshole. He slid his fingers in and out of your puckered hole to make sure it was wet enough. He grabbed the butt plug and sheathed it into your ass, turning the vibration all the way up. “F-fuck dabi, it’s too m-much, I can’t take it-”

“You can and you will.”

He fuck you so roughly yo could hardly think, let alone make coherent sentences “tell me how fucking good I make you feel. Who’s the only one that has you screaming like this baby.” You really wanted to answer him but all you was able to let out was a slurred “nnn”

“Aww, did I fuck you stupid y/n? Fuck you so good you can’t even talk anymore? My pretty little dumb slut.” His words had you squeezing him tightly, bringing on another orgasm. You felt his dick twitching in you as well. “C’mon y/n cum for me baby, cum on daddy’s dick, I know you have another one in you.” you came at the same time as him. Your tight walls milking his straining cock.

Y/n - “baby...we done? So tired...”

Dabi - “fuck are you talking about? We’re going all night.”

Dabi fucked you over every flat surface in that apartment. The kitchen counter, the living room couch, over tha damn balcony (which was terrify, yo ass almost fell over the ledge), even on the floor.

It was currently 3:29 A.M. in the morning, and you were riding dabi while your hands were handcuffed to your back. He had a glass of whiskey in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. “Yea... bounce in my dick just like that...mm... feels so fucking good.” He finished the rest of his whiskey, and put the glass down on the bedside table so he could rest his hand on your thigh. He grinned and spit in your face as you continued to bounce up and down on his cock. His saliva traveled down to your mouth and you licked that shit tf up. Dabi took his cigarette and put it out on your thigh

Y/n - “H-hurts”

Dabi - “you like it.”

Y/n - “...”

You felt yet another orgasm come up on you, but this time it felt different. Your head felt fuzzy and you body weak. Once you came you vision went blurry and you fainted onto Dabi’s chest.

Dabi - “oh shit.”

—————————————10:30 A.M.————————————

You slowly open to your face being nuzzled in Dabi’s chest

Dabi - “you’re finally awake doll”

Y/n - “what the fuck happened”

Dabi - “you passed out”

Y/n - “how could you fuck someone till they passed ou- ow my entire body fucking hurts, dabi what the fuck?, can you fucking calm down next time?”

Dabi - “you were the one who made me pissed”

Y/n - “boy bye... it wasn’t even that deep.”

Dabi - “not you tried to be on some hot girl summer shit...”

Y/n - “MOVE.”

#dabi x black!reader #bnha x reader #bnha x black!reader #dabi smut #bnha smut #dabi x reader #my writing #fanfic #anime #anime fanfiction #mha dabi #mha fanfiction #mha x reader #dabi my hero academia #dabi is a todoroki #bnha touya #smut #18+

[tubbinary]

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

 ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada.  ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝fucking☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮fuck🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂I happen to be quite🎩the🎩intellectual🎩myself, so I can confirm✔✔this fact💯as truth™.👌if👌you👌think👌 that your vape💯😎💨 is going↗to get you hoes👯👯, you are utterly🐄 mistaken❌, fam👪. my pa👨 once taught📖 me the 😏secret😏 of life👍💛, and it was not❌❌ your vape💯😎💨 🆗🆒now listen 👂👂here my chum✌✌, my pa👨 was a man who kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯. ✋that✋is✋six✋fucking✋hundreds✋ and he never❌🙅🙅 once vaped💯😎💨. The man 🚬smoked🚬some🚬mad🚬cigars🚬 because he wasnt❌the pussy🐱🐱you are🆗⁉❗⁉ he lived to be 💯 because he kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯 and killed🔫🔪 👌every👌vaping👌fucker👌he👌saw👌🆗🆒😂😂👀👀 so in the spirit👻of me good ol pa👨, I think💭you should kys🔫 they have 🆓 vapes💯😎💨 in hell🔥and🔥it's🔥lit🔥for😂 unintelligent vaping💯😎💨 hooligans like yourself👌😂😂

I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

We regret to inform you that the card titled "Mommy's Debit" has been declinded your latest purchases due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases with your local bank. The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

[email protected]

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ　ＲＴＺ，　Ｉ’Ｍ　ＴＲＹＩＮＧ　ＴＯ　ＬＥＡＲＮ　ＴＯ　ＰＬＡＹ　ＲＩＫＩ．　Ｉ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＨＡＶＥ　Ａ　ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ　ＡＢＯＵＴ　ＴＨＥ　ＳＫＩＬＬ　ＢＵＩＬＤ：　ＳＨＯＵＬＤ　Ｉ　ＭＡＸ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ　ＥＧ，　ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ　ＳＯ　ＴＨＥＹ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＭＥ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＥＧ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＹＯＵ　７０％　ＯＦ　ＴＨＥ　ＴＩＭＥ，　ＯＲ　ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ　ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ　ＳＯ　Ｉ　ＣＯＵＬＤ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ　ＦＲＯＭ　ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

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ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง 

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

 (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

 (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

 (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

 ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

 ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽   

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ 

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ 

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง 

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) 

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ 

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. 

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽   

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧ ＯＲ ＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง   

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

 ☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ  

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง   

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ 

 █▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out  

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽ 

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽ 

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽  

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ 

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ 

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ 

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ> 

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ  

 ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽  

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °) 

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ 

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง 

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)   

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them 

̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN 

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

(/ﾟДﾟ)/ WE WANT SPELUNKY (/ﾟДﾟ)/

─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ  

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ POINT ME TO THE DONGERS (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ 

ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c) 〇〇〇〇ᗩᗩᗩᗩᕼᕼ ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ArcheAge or BEES ヽ̛͟͢༼͝ຈ͢͠لຈ҉̛༽̨҉҉ﾉ̨

 ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ MRGLRLRLR ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉITS A HARD DONG LIFE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉMOLLYヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ GIVE MOLLY ༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ

 †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† By the power of donger I summon MOLLY †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉTAKING A DUMPヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ WHAT DOESNT KILL ME ONLY MAKES ME DONGER ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ  

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ FOREVER DONG ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Mo' money, mo' Dongers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] 

༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Drop Bows on 'em ༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ 

Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ HIT IT WITH THE FORK Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ  

Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ hit it with the fork Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ. * ・ ｡ﾟ Copypastus Totalus!! 

 ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ɪᴛs ʀ���ɪɴɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy

  Fuck a hater , hit a snitch , your my girl 👭 , my 5 star bitch , i love you more than any dick 💕💯, && if i dont get this back 🕙 , you aint worth shit !! Send this to 8 girls you care about .. 💯 I love you , I love you forever !! 💯 Whoever stops this will suffer for 83 days !! 💯💯💯 Ready, set, GO !!!! in

  Stahp. 👋 🏻 Don't Flirt Wit Meh. Do Yhu Not Know What In A➡ RELATIONSHIP⬅ Means.? Frfr.👋 🏻 I Am Loyal. 💯 I Am In Love.💗 && Nobody Gunna Come Between Us. 😝 Stop Wit Yhur Thirsty Asses Tryna Hit Me Up On The DL, I Am Commited.✌ 🏼👌🏼💯

  ! ! ! ATTENTION 2003 KIDS ! ! ! This 👇 is the last year of being a kid 👦👧! Because NEXT 👉YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS💁💅!! PARTYING 🎉💃 DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX 👅💦O_O PERIODS ☹🍫 HEARTBREAKS 💔☹ MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7️⃣TH GRADE)

#this took a lot of effort wow #copypastas #swastika tw #submission

[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

--------------------

OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

#list #ocs #egos #ideas #hcs #blu rambles #blus list #its fuckigng 2 am #im sorry if this makes no sense #but here are a fuck ton of lads #and a fuck ton of aus and ideas #if anyone ever wants to ask XP

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

#useless shouting #journal crap #sorry for so many personal posts lately ive been having fun with them lmfao

[asexual--junpei]

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada. ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You are about to get spammed with 600 dank memes. Prepare all nukes and weapons for the Great Spam War. If you can contain the amount of spam I have, you will be granted with special powers that allow you to smoke weed 200 times harder. Not only that, but you will have a laggy as fuck laptop. You know how lucky you are?????? My laptop runs at 669FPS and it never lags or is slow. YOU LUCKY SON OF A GUN. You will pay the price by me giving you a link (Which shall contain a download) which will wipe all your memory off the face of this universe and overwrite it with my own software, Memesoftlocker2.0000.0. You are so damn lucky you know that? NOT EVEN I HAVE IT SLUT. But if you were able to read up to this point congratulations, you suck. But click this link www.mymom.;;;;;;/eeeeeeee.crash; and you will be taken to a memory erase phrase. You lucky slut, but you will get the best computer software ever that makes your computer lag so bad that you can't even use it. LIKE HOW AMAZING??? Yes, I promise you this is 420% legit. But if you spread this abusive software you have EARNED I will suck you off this living universe so be careful buddy. Now, Please stop reading this message as it ends now...

Excuse me? I find vaping to be one of the best things in my life. It has carried me through the toughest of times and brought light and vapor upon my spirit. You're just another one of those people who doesn't believe in chem trails and fluoride turning us gay. Your ignorance to the government is what makes you a sheep in today's society. Have fun being a slave to todays's system.

🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝fucking☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮fuck🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂I happen to be quite🎩the🎩intellectual🎩myself, so I can confirm✔✔this fact💯as truth™.👌if👌you👌think👌 that your vape💯😎💨 is going↗to get you hoes👯👯, you are utterly🐄 mistaken❌, fam👪. my pa👨 once taught📖 me the 😏secret😏 of life👍💛, and it was not❌❌ your vape💯😎💨 🆗🆒now listen 👂👂here my chum✌✌, my pa👨 was a man who kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯. ✋that✋is✋six✋fucking✋hundreds✋ and he never❌🙅🙅 once vaped💯😎💨. The man 🚬smoked🚬some🚬mad🚬cigars🚬 because he wasnt❌the pussy🐱🐱you are🆗⁉❗⁉ he lived to be 💯 because he kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯 and killed🔫🔪 👌every👌vaping👌fucker👌he👌saw👌🆗🆒😂😂👀👀 so in the spirit👻of me good ol pa👨, I think💭you should kys🔫 they have 🆓 vapes💯😎💨 in hell🔥and🔥it's🔥lit🔥for😂 unintelligent vaping💯😎💨 hooligans like yourself👌😂😂

I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

We regret to inform you that the card titled "Mommy's Debit" has been declinded your latest purchases due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases with your local bank. The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

[email protected]

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ ＲＴＺ， Ｉ’Ｍ ＴＲＹＩＮＧ ＴＯ ＬＥＡＲＮ ＴＯ ＰＬＡＹ ＲＩＫＩ． Ｉ ＪＵＳＴ ＨＡＶＥ Ａ ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ ＡＢＯＵＴ ＴＨＥ ＳＫＩＬＬ ＢＵＩＬＤ： ＳＨＯＵＬＤ Ｉ ＭＡＸ ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ ＥＧ， ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ ＳＯ ＴＨＥＹ ＭＩＳＳ ＭＥ ＬＩＫＥ ＥＧ ＭＩＳＳ ＹＯＵ ７０％ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＴＩＭＥ， ＯＲ ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ ＳＯ Ｉ ＣＯＵＬＤ ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ ＦＲＯＭ ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

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ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /)

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧ ＯＲ ＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ

█▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ

༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

Thats so cool! You should write a book or do a screen play

- mod santa

[fatpingu]

My Secret Guardian

Chapter one - The band T-shirt

Warning: Explicit language, depression and anxiety 

"Are you okay?"

Those words didn't mean anything anymore. They all lied to me. They asked me the same question every day, but they didn't care about my answer anymore. It's okay tho. I lied too with a simple "yes."

I had felt wretched for several years, and I guess my coworkers had noticed it. Nobody tried to actually find out what was wrong with me. They only asked if I was okay, and then patted themselves on the back for being a good samaritan. I didn't blame them for not caring, I probably wouldn't have either. All I did was sit at my desk looking like I was tired of living. Which i was. I did the same thing every day. I woke up at 6 am, got to work at 7:30 am, ate lunch at 12:45 pm, got home at 5 pm, ate dinner at 6:30 pm and went to bed at 9 pm. And to spice things up, I sometimes had mental breakdowns incorporated into my routine.

About two years ago, I had my first panic attack and I couldn't stop crying. I was at a conference and stood in line for lunch. Suddenly I felt everybody staring at me. I was really insecure about my body and feeling all those eyes on me while I was getting food. No thank you. I could feel them judging me with their eyes. Judging how much food was on my plate. I hurried out of the room and went to the hall. Then it started.

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I couldn't stop shaking or crying. My body got all heavy and it felt like I was going to die. Since that day, my mood has been severely decreased.

Nobody helped me back then either. Except for one guy. I vaguely remembered him, but I knew he helped me.

I had trouble standing and was kind of stumbling around. He guided me over to a chair so I could sit down. I didn't really look at his face. I just stared at his hands in mine while he talked to me. I know he tried to help, but I didn't really listen to anything he said.

I did however notice a tattoo on his left hand. A very small one. I couldn't really see what it was. It was probably pretty old and faded. For some strange reason, that tattoo helped me with my breathing. I stopped thinking about my panic and started to focus on what in the world that tattoo was supposed to look like. But before I could look properly at the guy, he was called into a meeting.

I left the conference after that. There was no way in hell that I would've willingly walked back to all those people, while my eyes were red and my cheeks stained from my makeup.

"Have you heard about Sarah?" I overheard my coworker ask another. She probably didn't know I was in one of the bathroom stalls.

Sarah was my boss who had been sick on and off for the last 6 months. We had an... Okay relationship. She was the only person I liked at my job and I was one of the few she didn't hate.

"They fired her."

I could feel my heart clench. My hope for Sarah to come back to work was the only thing that kept me there. I hated my job when Sarah wasn't there. She was the only one who actually generally cared when she asked me if I was okay. I would still lie and say yes, but her concern made me.. Kind of happy.

My coworkers left the bathroom while still talking about Sarah. I didn't feel like leaving the stall yet. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks.

Throughout the 5 years I had worked at the firm, I had gone through multiple bosses. Sarah was my second boss, but got transferred to another city. Two years later, she came back and became my boss again.

That's it! I thought to myself. If Sarah isn't coming back, I'm quitting. I was sick and tired of that shitty job and being around those fake people.

I wiped my tears away and walked out of the stall. This was the time. I was going back to my desk and I was going to write my notice.

I walked out of the bathroom and headed straight to my desk, not noticing that someone was talking to me. A hand grabbed my shoulder and I froze. That grab had scared the living shit out of me, but I tried not to show it.

"Uhm.. excuse me? I didn't mean to scare you, but do you know where Sarah Holland's office is?" a deep voice asked me.

I turned around to see a man dressed in some denim jeans, a purple band T-shirt and holding a backpack in front of him. He definitely didn't know the dress code.

"She isn't here right now. She is on sick leave," I told him while still looking at his clothes. If he was trying to get a job here, he definitely chose the wrong outfit.

"Oh i know.." He mumbled quietly. "I'm her substitute." I stopped scanning him for a second and looked at his face for the first time since we started the conversation. He was older than I expected. He had an awkward smile on his face, but it was very welcoming. He also had the darkest eyes I had ever seen in my entire life.

"I'm Alexander by the way," he said and fumbled to get one of his hands away from his backpack without dropping it. I reached for his hand and shook it.

"Her office is over at the left door," I told him and pointed to Sarah's office. He thanked me and walked to the direction I had given him.

You know.. Those jeans do look good on him I thought to myself while my eyes scanned the backside of him. It's a damn shame that attire isn't suited here.

The next day came around and as always my shift started at 7:30 am.

I walked over to my desk, sat down and turned on my computer. The laptops at this firm always took forever to start up. While I was staring at my computer, waiting for it to accept my login, I heard some loud noises coming from Sarah's office.

I went over to the door and placed my ear near it so I could hear what was going on. I had only been standing there for about 10 seconds before the door flung up, making me jump back in shock.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to snoop around! I just heard-" I stopped myself from further embarrassment.

"Oh it's okay! You probably heard me dropping my laptop," Alexander answered, probably as embarrassed as myself. I stretched my neck to the side to look into the office. As I saw the broken laptop on the floor I could confirm that it was indeed that that had made the noise. Jesus Christ I thought to myself as I looked back at him with eyes wide open. I could tell that it was an expensive laptop.

"First real day at the job and I've already broken the inventory," he nervously laughed.

There was no need to make things worse, so I offered him mine. My job position didn't really need a laptop, it just made it a hell of a lot easier. He accepted the offer, took my laptop and went back into Sarah's office.

I sat back down at my desk and started to write customer orders down by hand. It took me about 30 minutes to write down 11 orders.

Why did I lend him my computer? This fucking sucks! I thought to myself as I scribbled down another order.

My hand started to cramp from writing nonstop. I wasn't really used to using a pen instead of a keyboard. Hopefully the people who were going to read this could translate that scrawl.

Lunchtime rolled around, and I had managed to write down half of the day's order and give myself arthritis.

I walked into the lunchroom, grabbed my oatmeal and sat down at the empty table. I had been so tired the day before that I didn't really feel like making a proper lunch.

"What a healthy lunch!" a deep voice suddenly exclaimed. I looked up from my food and saw Alexander standing at the other side of the table, holding a store bought sandwich.

"Do you mind if i sit here?" Words I haven't heard in a long time. No one ever wanted to sit and have lunch with me. To be fair, I wasn't really that fun to have lunch with. Other than the fact that I hated my coworkers, I didn't really have a lot in common with them to hold a proper conversation.

"Go ahead" I almost whispered. There was a good solid 10 minutes where neither of us were talking. He was probably just as awkward as me.

"Thank you for letting me borrow your laptop. That was really nice of you," he smiled as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"No problem," I quietly nodded. It was clear that neither of us was used to small talk.

The majority of my colleagues had left the room. Probably to go out to smoke or to pee. The ones that were left had their own quiet conversation by themselves.

My mind started to wander as I discreetly tried to look at Alexander without him noticing. He definitely wasn't my age. I shot him to be around 15 years older than me. He had brown curly hair that clearly didn't want to cooperate. His beard was hardly a beard. It was very patchy. My eyes trailed down to his shirt. A band T-shirt yet again, but not the same as the one from the day before. He must have noticed my confused eyes, because he suddenly stopped eating and looked down.

"Do you like my shirt?" He smiled, looking very proud of himself. My eyes glanced up to meet his. To be honest, I did. It was a yellow AC/DC shirt with a canon on it. Above the canon there was written "For those about to rock." I couldn't help but to crack a smile. His smile was so contagious.

"Yeah it's pretty cool," i smirked, letting my guard down. But it came up again pretty quickly. "But just so you know, that type of clothes isn't very professional and if you want to work here, you have to put some effort into your outfit!" I hissed.

His smile faded a bit and he looked down at his food again. It wasn't the first time i had snapped at one of my coworkers, but it was the first time i felt bad afterwards.

I looked regretful down at the table, wanting to be anywhere else but there. He started to fumble with his sandwich and my eyes followed his hands.

He had strong hands and what looked like a birthmark on the left. He had his nails painted black. Well.. the majority of the nail polish was chipped. It wasn't really a bad look in my opinion. I liked it when men didn't care about gender norms and did what they wanted to. Lucky for him, the company dress code didn't say anything about nail polish, so he could continue to wear it. He just needed it freshened up.

There was such a thick awkward silence in the lunchroom, that you could practically hear the lightbulbs.

The rest of my colleagues had left, and it was only me and Alexander that was still sitting in the room.

Why was I such an asshole to him? He had been nothing but nice to me. I wanted to apologize so bad, but I was too used to self sabotaging, that all I could do was stay quiet.

Alexander finished his sandwich. God he was a slow eater. "I don't really have anything nicer to wear," he almost mumbled. I looked up at him, trying my hardest to stop frowning.

"How come? Aren't you like 40?" Those words sounded so much meaner than I anticipated, but they had already left my lips before I noticed. He smiled at me, clearly without taking any offense to my words.

"Ah yes.. A man of my age should be able to doll oneself up," he joked. I couldn't help but to laugh. It was just so unexpected since I basically mocked his age.

His smile widened and he seemed generally happy by my response. "But in all seriousness, I haven't really been needing a suit. That's why I don't have one," he smirked. "And yes, I'm 42 years old, but I don't look older than 68." I rolled my eyes at him. That was just such a dad joke.

And speaking of dad, I wondered if he was one. To be fair, he had the age for it. Before my mind drove completely off, my phone buzzed, indicating that my lunch break was over.

When I came back to my desk, I had gained some movement back in my wrist, but each time I tried to write something, the pen felt fifty times heavier.

It didn't really help that I couldn't concentrate either. Did Alexander hate me now? It actually felt like he wanted to be friends and I was just being such a cunt to him. Would it have killed me to complement his shirt? I really liked it and it would have cost me nothing to just say that when he asked. And why did I even care about his outfit? He could do what he wanted, I wasn't his boss. On the contrary, he was mine. Well for now at least. I had already sent my notice to the headquarters, so i would be gone in two weeks anyways. Why did I even care if he hated me or not? I knew my other coworkers didn't like me, and I didn't care. But why do I care now?

"Hey! How is it going with the orders?" a baritone voice almost yelled, making me jump in my chair.

"Jesus Christ! You don't have to give me a heart attack!" I barked, looking up to see Alexander. He was smiling at me, even though I had yelled at him for what felt like the 100th time that day. He looked down at my paper to see what probably looked like hieroglyphs. He narrowed his brows and looked back at me.

"Are you okay?" he asked. My heart sank a little. I could feel the concern in his voice, even though he was only asking because of my horrendous handwriting.

I took a breath, trying hard not to be an asshole again or to lie for that matter.

"No. My wrist hurts like hell," I answered while shaking my head.

"Why didn't you just tell me? I'll go get your laptop!" He walked away so quickly, that I didn't get to say anything else.

Stop being so fucking nice to me, i thought to myself. In what felt like a split second, he had returned with my laptop.

"You idiot, now you won't have anything to use," I sighed.

"I don't want you to hurt," he said calmly.

Well that's too fucking late.

"I already ordered a new one that will be here tomorrow, so it doesn't matter if i miss 3 hours of work. I can catch up with it tomorrow."

I stared at the laptop, then back at him, then back at the laptop. I hated that he was being so nice to me.

"Well.. I better get to work then," I said as I started typing on the keyboard. He didn't leave my desk. I could almost feel his eyes burn into the side of my face.

Was he waiting for a thank you? It was my computer that he gave back to me. I didn't need to thank him. Did I?

My head turned and I looked up at him. My eyes meet his. Those eyes were like black holes. They were so dark, that you couldn't distinguish the pupils from the iris, and they sucked you in like real black holes.

He smiled at me and started to walk towards his office. "Call if you need me," he shouted as he closed the office door.

Fuck my life. I could feel my coworkers looking at me. I hated unwanted attention more than anything. Why the hell did he need to shout? The traffic warden down the street probably heard him.

I looked around the room to catch the people who were daring enough to stare at me. It didn't seem like it, but I knew some of them had definitely gawked in my direction. I hated it so much.

It was so anxiety inducing. My hands began to shake and I could feel the cold sweat starting to form. It was the event at the conference all over again.

Before my thoughts had a chance at eating me up from the inside, a sound came from my computer. It was an email.

That dumbass forgot to turn off the sound after he borrowed it. It was so freaking loud, that it almost scared me.

I tried to calm myself with some deep breaths, before opening the email. It was a link to a YouTube clip from Alexander.

He gave me back my laptop so he could sit and watch YouTube on his phone? What a boss indeed.

I kind of didn't want to watch it, but I was also really curious. I put on my headphones and started the video. It was an old video of Paul Hunt doing gymnastics while dressed as a little girl.

It was probably one of the funniest things I had ever seen. It was so hard, trying not to laugh out loud. It was almost like he knew I needed a distraction from what was going on.

I looked behind me at the door to his office. Closed. It must have been a coincidence then.

5 pm rolled around, and it was time to head back home.

After I got my laptop back, the customer orders almost wrote themselves.

My colleagues had already left the building, but I was a little bit behind schedule, so I stayed a little longer. I kind of enjoyed the silence.

I could work in peace without the usual distractions. There was always the casual gossiping, the sound of long nails clacking on a keyboard or my personal favorite, the fake ass laugh when someone tried to convince a future customer over the phone. God I hated that job.

"Are you ready to go home for the day?" I looked behind me in surprise. I had been 100% sure that I was the last one left. I guess not. A thing that I had noticed about Alexander, was that he was really good at sneaking up on me.

"Yeah, but why are you still here?" I asked curiously while packing up my stuff.

"I wanted to make sure you got to your car safe," he replied.

My car was literally parked 30 feet away from the entrance, so there was no need to worry about my safety. Sure, there had been times where my tires had been slashed and i had to call a cab, but that was probably just some teenagers thinking it was funny.

I turned off the lights and walked out of the building with Alexander right behind me.

"You don't need to walk me to my car. I'm not a child," i insisted. He looked over at my car and giggled. "Well tough luck, 'cus it's parked right beside mine."

We walked over to our cars, but he didn't get into his before I started to pull out of the booth.

What was he so worried about? And why did he even care? He is so fucking weird, I thought to myself as i drove home.

I picked up a pizza on the way home. After destroying my wrist for five hours, pizza was definitely the thing I needed.

The rest of the evening was spent on devouring a whole pizza, half a bottle of wine and some stale cookies. I had only eaten two portions of oatmeal the entire day, so it was safe to say that I was indeed starving. The wine was just a bonus.

After i was done eating i looked through YouTube to find something to fall asleep to. It had become this weird habit. Such a big habit even, that I literally couldn't fall asleep unless there was some background noise.

I looked at the recommended selection and found the perfect one. Another Paul Hunt video.

Damn, even at home he's still  helping me, I chuckled for myself. I pressed play and snuggled up under my blanket.

"Paulette Huntanova is back. Dazzled the crowd at two previous.."

Chapter two

#story #love #romance #friendship #office workplace #workplace #wattpad

[dndfuckhouse]

CuriousCat Archive

A series of Q&A’s that were sent onto the group curiouscat, now imported here for readability and easy editing :y

Q -  would psalm suck toes? y/n

Psalm: When would I ev-? Actually, never mind. The answer is no, of course not.

Q -  Does Amos only eat cheese...

Keva: he takes when he can get

Q -  plum you ever smoke weed before just curious

Plum: NO NEVER SMOKED BEFORE

Q - Han what is your hair care routine

Han: well its less mine and more a friend of mine's... they just gave me some gooey stuff that smells real nice and told me to use it once a week!! i dont know what to do about the growing black roots tho..... :(

Q - mister finn have u ever kissed before...

Finn: T-thats a very personal question! How rude... I've done it once, of course.

Q -  han, would you drink with finn again? are you two getting closer?

Han: ...its easier to get close the more drunk we get so ye....

Q -  Han, whats your favourite liquor? -Finn

Han: THE FASTER IT GETS ME DRUNK THE BETTER !!!!!!

Q - Psalm, do you believe in fate?

Psalm: Fate is a very romantic notion, and in the past I probably would've said no. Right now I have no choice but to believe in it, I think.

Q -  on a scale of 1 to 10 han how much did you enjoy your fight with psalm (the one from the rp channel)

Han: ONE!!!!!! IM GLAD HE ACCEPTED BUT I DIDNT FUCKING WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but ill win next time watch out psalm this tiger is OUT FOR BLOOD Psalm: :psalmface:

Q -  on a scale of one to ten how much did PSALM enjoy his fight with han !

Psalm: It was enjoyable because I won, although I was hoping it'd last a bit longer. 7. :psalmface:

Q -  WHATS FINNS FAVOURITE LIQUOR!!!!!!

Finn: Classy red wine!

Q -  rokka what do you think about your street performance career? do u have any ambitions?!

Rokka: IT’S FUN! I enjoy watching people's amazed faces especially the children. Ambitions...? Maybe? *rokka falls into thinking man pose for a very long time*

Q -  Rokka, how do you keep your fur so soft and pretty? -Finn

Rokka: ⭐STEPS TO ROKKA'S FUR CARE !!!!!! ⭐  1) bathe in lakes! or rivers! (I personally like lakes hehe) 2) SHAKE IT DRY! shakeshakeshake (be careful of dizziness!!) 3) lick palms and smooth down ur fur. (this is the secret) 4) DONE! (congrats u have nice fur!!!!!!!)

Q - What was your first kiss like finn?

Finn: Thats a little secret between me and god.

Q - :):(

Rokka: who are you and what does this mean Psalm: It's a secret code. Why not try deciphering it?

Q - finn whats your favourite blood type? pls and thx

Finn: I'm usually not open about this, but I only consume animal blood. I dont have a favourite. Beef based strikes me as the least worst so far.

Q -  psalm does it hurt to cough up smoke? how bothered are you by it?

Psalm: I wouldn't say it hurts, but it feels about as pleasant as you'd imagine coughing up smoke would feel, which is to say, not pleasant at all. It mostly just makes it hard to breath, but considering the reason it happens I'm not sure I'm allowed to complain. I'd rather not take my chances.

It does bother me though.

Q -  keva, do you prefer being alone or with friends?

Keva: friends

Q - keva, whats your favourite food?

Keva: roasted quail

Q -  Does plum always text in all caps? Do they do that to show all their suppressed anger

Plum: does it seem suppressed.... DOES IT SEEM SUPPRESSE

Q -  plum, why did you decide to go to the ball as a guest with vinny? did you think it was better cover than being a guard?

Plum: just didnt think id be much use as a bodyguard also i wanted to dress up...

Q - to everyone: would you fuck on the first date ? 🤔

Han: i only fuck on the first date Psalm: No. Finn: What is it with these rude questions? Rokka: UHHHHHHH---? WH=HAHA WHAT? Keva: no Plum: what the fuck Cimmorro: i’ve never, but i don’t see why not if we liked each other enough. i’ve to say i’m difficult to impress on the first day gyahaha    

Q -  actually to everyone, whats your favourite food?

Psalm: There's a dish back in my hometown that we'd eat on holidays called “Smelt and Salt". Most travellers tend to find it salty to the point of being inedible, but I think its delicious. Finn: The servants at our residence are quite skilled, I enjoyed almost everything they make. When I was alive, I favored simple chicken breast with baked vegetables though. Rokka: Nothing can go wrong with a big ol' pot of beef and potato stew! I love soups Han: we dont get a lot of fruit way south so i was so surprised when i saw lots of it at shorewater!!!!! ITS SO SWEET AND DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! Plum: theres this stew that my whole family comes together to make for special occasions and we put a lot of roots and flowers and vegetables in it its pretty good. havent had it in a while

Q -  *like a kpop interviewer* to everyone: so what would your ideal partner be like? >:3c

Han: if they can dish out as much as they can take Psalm: Someone who is fun to be around. Loyalty is nice too. Finn: Someone who can handle me and is genuinely interested in all facets of my life. Rokka: Someone who can enjoy the world with me especially nature. Accept me! P.S. Psalm, I am fun and loyal........ :pleading: Plum: uhhh... someone kind i guess Keva: (visibly uncomfortable and unwilling to answer) Cimmorro: honest and devoted. someone who is easygoing would be a nice addition.

Q -  WHY DO YOU FUCKERS NEVER PUT DOWN THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT IN THIS HOUSE!! SOME OF US ARE SMALL IN SIZE AND KEEP FUCKING FALLING IN

Psalm: Not saying I'm the culprit, but you honestly could just check first. Rokka: I always try to remember to put it down! Although, I may or may not have forgotten once......................or 10 times.................................. Keva: you're tall enough to look before you sit

Q -  Rokka, don't forget you owe me a drink the next time we find a tavern. - Psalm

Rokka: you got it, boss! but........can we have round 2.........please...........please.............................please.............please............................plea--[commercials cues]

Q -  birthdays? birthdays?

Psalm: My birthday is on the 8th of Solstitium. Plum: 32nd of soltrice  Keva: (briefly crinkles nose and doesn't answer) Han: i dont know! no one in my tribe kept track of things like that. judging by stories i think it during elfons? Rokka: hibernon, solvo 74! Cimmorro: 55th of umbrois. i’m expecting presents now that you all know!

Q - favourite season

Psalm: Aestas. It's a bit silly, but my birthday falls around this time so I've always been rather fond of it. Keva: elfons Plum: elfons Rokka: Elfons! where the grass is greenies Han: elfons... i like it when it goes from cold to warmer temperatures :) Cimmorro: rahtumna.

Q -  before making a call (over sending stone or message or whatever) do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? why?

Psalm: Depending on the circumstances, yes. Rokka: No need to think when speaking. Cimmorro: depends if there are specific people i’m contacting. i generally don’t really care though.

Q -  if you could be anything job-wise and nothing could hold you back, what would you want to be?

Psalm: I've never really given that much thought. I don't really make any grand plans for myself, as they tend to go awry fairly often. I think I'd enjoy writing plays...perhaps. Keva: don't know, never thought about it Rokka: I've also never thought about this <:9 Han: ah... i would like to travel again... Cimmorro: i like the way things are right now. [mumbling] if anything, i’m more worried about losing it...      

Q -  what would be a "perfect" day for you?

Psalm: I enjoy plays quite a bit, so if I could spend an entire day watching a good series of performances I'd be quite happy. Some good company wouldn't hurt either. (As long as they don't talk.) Keva, after thinking for so long it seems like she's not going to answer: being home with nothing important to do Plum: I JUST WANT TO GO HOME Rokka: running through a grassy land and bask in the sun (๑￫ܫ￩)

Q -  when did you last sing to yourself? to someone else?

Psalm: My singing voice is rather unpleasant, so I don't do it often. Keva: a month ago? i guess? who would even keep track Rokka: I like to sing every time I bathe! rubba dub dub rubba doot doot rubba dee dee its nothing but a squeaky clean me!!!!!!!!!! Han: (flushes) it was a while back Cimmorro: i was part of the choir in my childhood. i was pretty okay! can’t say the same for the present though ahahaha

Q - what was the last dream you remember?

Psalm: I'd rather not say. Keva: (doesn't answer) Rokka: *thinking face*

Q -  toilet paper over or under?

Psalm: Over? I'm not an animal. Plum: what.... the fuck is this asking Rokka: Is there a difference...?

Q -  if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Plum: ...... [plum is starting to look uncomfortable] Keva: (laughs, doesn't answer) Psalm: I'm perfectly fine with how I was raised. Han: (laughs) oh, throw the whole thing out Rokka: nice answers everyone. NEXT QUESTION! :D Cimmorro: wait, hmm… not so much on the way of raising but more on a certain part of the situation, i suppose?  

Q -  what is your most terrible memory?

Psalm: *Looks somewhat distressed.* Plum: THIS IS MAKING ME ANGRY. IM NOT ANSWERING ANYMORE OF THESE TONIGHT. Rokka: please stop asking these questions you're making my friends upset. This is upsetting.

Q - is there something you've dreamed about doing for a long time? why haven't you done it?

Psalm: I wouldn't say for a long time, but I haven't done it because I can't. Simple as that. Keva: can't anymore Rokka: Life hands you lemons so you gotta eat them. *nods* （￣ー￣） Han: i wanted to learn singing. why... well. life doesn't work sometimes. Cimmorro: when i was a child, i dreamed of being at the top of the clergy’s hierarchy. then that immediately got crushed when i was told that only women were allowed to lead the church bahahaha! that was back then. right now i’m satisfied with my position and still have much to learn. but if the opportunity arises and i meet the requirements, i wouldn’t say no to seating as the high mother.     

Q - if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? 

Psalm: I'm torn between knowing the truth about one thing from the past, and a very selfish glimpse into the future. Keva: (doesn't answer, but seems to think about the question) Rokka: *vibrates* Han: there are so many things i want answers for, i dont think i could choose. Cimmorro: [visibly cringing as several things come to mind]     

Q - of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? why? 

Psalm: Lots of morbid questions here. I'll pass on this one. Keva: orin Rokka: please i'm begging you..............please stop with these questions...... Cimmorro: … [quitely glances at how the others respond instead of answering]  

Q -  how close and warm is your family? do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

Han: (laughter that becomes progressively louder in volume) Psalm: I quite enjoyed my childhood, but given the reactions of the others it seems I might be the only one fortunate enough to be able to say that... Keva: i liked a part of it Plum: dont know what the fuck psalm is talking about. ive had the happiest childhood a halfling could have thank you i wish i could be back home right now, actually Rokka: it had its up and downs. i mean, who doesn't!! Cimmorro: [laughs] i think mine is seen as particularly “strange” by most people, but i personally have enjoyed it regardless.

Q -  how do you feel about your relationship to your primary caregiver growing up? 

Psalm: At the moment, I'd say its rather complicated on my part. I'm ashamed to say why. Keva: i don't Han: *looks visibly sick for a second* ... poorly :) Plum: as in my mom and pop? i love those two Rokka: Tough love? Finn: Cold. Cimmorro: [beaming] grateful! i love em! would do anything to treat them at least even half as much as they’ve treated me.

Q - what roles do love and affection play in your life?

Psalm: I just LOVE to be AFFECTIONATE with people, so I'd say quite a large one :psalmface:. Rokka: i got to befriend han! and finn! Also, psalm it's not good to lie to the people. Finn: R-rokka I'm touched... Right now, love and affection couldn't be further removed from my life but hopefully one day, they'll play a bigger role for me. Han: (shrugs) i like having sex Cimmorro: i take pride in making sure that people who are important to me know that they are. it’s also the way they have treated me.

Q - for what in life do you feel most grateful for? 

Psalm: ...Well I made it to Shorewater somehow. Rokka: meeting Han! Han: *was about to say something different but is so touched by rokka* dude......really? q_q me too dude.... Finn: My uncle. But recently I've made some good friends, I feel... Cimmorro: the goddess’ guidance.

Q -  what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? 

Psalm: I- . Hm. For now, let's say it was beating Rokka at stone, parchment, shears. Keva: i'm here Rokka: PSALM PLEASE ROUND 2 Finn: So far I have nothing to my name, but that might change soon. I pray it will.

Q -  if you were to die this evening with opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? why haven't you told them yet? 

Psalm: Where I hid my buried treasure. Han: i wont die. Psalm: I like that answer. Rokka: Why are you like this, anon? Finn: I'd want to talk to Orin one last time. 

Q - share an embarrassing moment from your life

Psalm: I fumbled a joke I was trying to make with Finn the other day. I won't go any further into the past than that, thanks. Finn: Ah, so it was a joke? Please don't worry about it Psalm. Rokka: nearly burning my friends alive because I sneezed. :( 

Q - what's your favourite weapon and why

Psalm: For reasons I won't disclose let's just say I'm not very fond of weapons, my current one in particular. :psalmface: Spells are more useful. Keva: daggers, easy to carry around and hide Rokka: I guess my scimitars? They can cut plants and meat well so i can (try to) cook! Finn: I love swords!! All swords! (he sparkles with excitement) Han: i like being close and personal with someone but also enjoy the quiet rush of hitting a target from a bow Cimmorro: i use a dagger but if i had a spear or an axe that would be kinda awesome actually.     

Q - questions to fall in love here we go! 1) if you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?

Psalm: ...I have a friend I haven't seen in a while, so I suppose I'd invite him. Keva: do they have to be alive Psalm: I was wondering the same thing. Plum: i would want to eat dinner with my whole village but if its only one person then my sister. dont really like going to dinner one on on if i can help it but maybe thats something halflings dont like because theyre not antisocial bastards Rokka: Do I HAVE to pick one? :( Finn: ... Rokka! I'd love to dine with everyone though. Han: oh, maybe aster? or ferrie chris? or uhh... (Han starts to look bashful and stops answering) Cimmorro: willow.     

Q - if you all were on a boat (lmao) and it was sinking and you could only save one person from the party who would it be

Plum: rokka or finn but i wouldnt be on a fucking boat if i could help it Psalm: Plum, as they are arguably the only one I could carry. Oh, and Finn I suppose. Plum: WOW THANK YOU THOUGH YOUD PROBABLY SINK LIKE  A STONE Keva: finn Finn: T-thank you all... (blushes and gets too distracted to answer) Rokka: This question is stressing me out. I'm stressed. This is stressful. Han: myself? is this trick question Cimmorro: myself so i can do this: [casts water walk] don’t worry bros i got this

Q - complete this sentence. "i wish i had someone with whom i could share..."

Psalm: I have nothing to share. Rokka: ...this drink with! (psalm, round 2 please) Finn: my fate. Han: my past, without fear

Q - what, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Psalm: I'd say death, but ha. Rokka: what roomie said Finn: I don't like jokes about my family and especially my uncle. Cimmorro: Wee Jas. 

Q - when did you last cry in front of another person? by yourself?

Psalm: I haven't cried since I was a kid. Rokka: can we have more fun questions please :( Finn: I rarely ever cry. But last time I did, I was comforted by someone precious. Han: oh that was... (han becomes embarrassed) it is stupid Cimmorro: [wearily looks over where ezra is currently sitting across the room]

Q - do you have a secret hunch about how you're going to die

Plum: i wouldnt say secret but yes Psalm: Ugh. Keva: had a few, anything goes now i guess Rokka: why would you ask this? I don't like this question. :( Finn: Not just a hunch. Han: i won't die!!! what's with these questions Cimmorro: nothing in particular. i just hope that it will be by the goddess’ fates.  

Q - fmk vinny cole ezra

Psalm: (What kind of agenda is this?) F - Vinny, M - Cole, K - Ezra. Keva: fuck ezra marry cole kill vinny Psalm: Ah Keva, finishing your doppelganger's job for her I see. That's a bit harsh. Keva: (lifts her hands in a halfhearted shrug) Rokka: Friend: cole, Meet: Vinny, K....klean for ezra......................... (in the periphery of the shot keva stares into the camera for the entirety of rokka's response) Han: fuck ezra marry cole kill vinny Finn: Who are these people? What is "fmk"? Cimmorro: f-vinny, m-cole, k-ezra

Q - Everyone, where would you like to visit someday?

Psalm: I'm not really one for traveling but since we seem to be headed there already, Vargonia sounds interesting. There's probably a lot to do there. Rokka: I like open land so anywhere with one? Finn: Sharrif!! If I wasn't dutybound at home I'd love to move there. Keva: never thought about it Han: oh oh oh! some guy passed the inn and said there are mountains that reach into another PLANE in sonnate!!! i wanna go there!!!!!! Cimmorro: i’d like to see the arcane well myself heehee     

Q - what's your earliest memory? is this too spoilery idk i'm shooting my shot

Psalm: I'm pretty sure it was when my mother dropped me into the ocean by accident. Why I have no fear of swimming because of this has yet to reveal itself to me. Plum: i remember........ bumping into the kitchen table when i was younger and something might've been a rolling pin hitting me on the head and then fucking crying obviously and my parents swinging me around Rokka: I remember seeing a little bug flying around and chasing it all around so that I could tell them I thought they looked cute.....I was too small to reach the little bug on the tree though haha Keva: i don't remember her name Finn: Playing with my cousins, surrounded by our family. Han: being held by big, heavy hands. close to the chest. Cimmorro: falling off a cliff lol

Q -  i had assumed psalms arcane power was new to him but is it actually?

Psalm: An interesting assumption. I'd love to know why you think so.

Q - PSALM ROUND 2 PLEASE - rokka

Psalm: I'll think about it.

Q - how do you sleep the best?

Rokka: laying sprawled on my back is the best! Sometimes fetal. Finn: I actually... do enjoy sleeping in my coffin. So in confined spaces I suppose. Sharing a bed with Rokka was very comfortable too. (Rokka self-fives himself in the bg) Psalm: Having horns makes sleeping on my back a bit of an issue, but they sit just on top of my head enough for me to sleep reasonably well on my side. Cimmorro: i don’t remember anymore… can’t say i’ve slept very well the last few years

Q - what was your mode of travel to shorewater?

Rokka: mode..? Oh, hard mode! Finn: Hard mode? Keva: (looks at the camera) Psalm: Boat. Han: foot, the odd cart here and there. Cimmorro: i stayed on land as much as possible through various modes.     

Q - around what time do you prefer to eat dinner?

Rokka: any time is good in my book! Keva: late enough to not be hungry before i sleep Finn: .................. Psalm: Early evening? I've never given it much thought.

Q - if you knew in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you're living? why?

Psalm: My life right now is not something that is within my ability to change. Rokka: Same as roomie here...I don't think I want to be falsely accused of murder... Cimmorro: … no. i’ll just have to keep trying until such time comes.

Q - what’s your typical bed time? any routines?

Rokka: Never too late! I like to do some quick stretches after a long day for a good nights rest! Most of the time I just plop down lol Finn: I like to stay up past sunrise actually. Psalm: No. I usually go right to sleep. Preferably as early as possible since I don't like being tired. Cimmorro: i try to keep a strict and healthy routine but [sigh]

Q - what's something you might like for (insert gift-giving custom for holiday equivalent here)?

Finn: Jewellery and swords. Psalm: A good book would be nice. I also like masks. Rokka: I'll like anything as long as it came from their heart! Just the idea of them thinking about me warms me up. Cimmorro: same as rokka.  

Q - how do you stay fit?

Rokka: 250 Push-ups, 250 Yard Handwalk, Jump Rope- 2000 Times, 250 Straight Punches to Heavy Bag, 250 Roundhouse Kicks to Heavy Bag, annnnnd 500 Squats. Finn: Thats quite impressive Rokka: ... (Rokka salutes) Psalm: I wouldn't say I'm the most physically fit man out there. (8 STR) Cimmorro: morning walks, maybe even jogs, if i’ve got the time to spare… which is almost never. does carrying stacks of books count?  

Q -  to everyone: do you like anime

Rokka: what's anime? :0 Psalm: ...Animals? They're alright. I like small ones, like puppies, kittens, chicks etc. Finn: If you've seen Promare, please DM me.

Q -  do you prefer meat or veggies

Rokka: meat......but veggies are good too.......can I pick both? Psalm: Meat. Finn: Meat as well. Han: meeeeeat Cimmorro: i find it difficult to enjoy a meal without having both.

Q - what is your most treasured memory

Psalm: :psalmface: Rokka: :) Finn: ^___^ Han: (Han thinks briefly and then blushes, embarrassed)

Q - how do you feel about physical touch? yea? nay?

Finn: I dont experience much of it but I enjoy it when I do. Keva: depends Psalm: I prefer to keep to myself. Rokka: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *hugs Psalm* Psalm: *Sighs* Han: (shrugs) everyone was always touching me, so am used to it. Cimmorro: big no! unless we’re close, don’t touch me.

Q - what does friendship mean to you?

Psalm: God is that you? Rokka: Everything! Psalm, is God your friend? Psalm: *suddenly regretting his answer*

Q - coffee or tea?

Rokka: TEA! Psalm: I'm not particularly fond of either, but if I had to pick, tea. Finn: Tea! What kind do you favor Psalm? Psalm: Chamomile or mint, depending on what's available. And yourself? Finn: Oh, I quite like that one too. My favourite is Rose Petal Blend though, perhaps we could share a cup- *remembers vampirism* Ah- perhaps I could have... a cup of blood if it doesnt disgust you. Psalm: That wouldn't disgust me at all. Just pick a day. Finn: *crying cat* Keva: never had coffee Cimmorro: coffee. though one of my parents often share their special tea brew with me in the afternoons or long nights of work. it’s pretty much the only kind of tea i like… i miss it. 

Q - what's a favourite feature of yourself? can be external or internal, or both

Finn: I took good care of my hair before I became undead. So my hair would've been it.  Psalm: Regarding physical traits...my mother and I have identical eyes and horns. Mum found it cute, so I guess I grew up being somewhat fond as well... Interal, I don't self reflect that often. I'll leave that unanswered. Rokka: I like my blue fur! and eyes!  Keva: (shrugs) don't think about that sorta thing Han: (Han becomes increasingly despondent the more she thinks) none is good enough. i need to be better. Cimmorro: my cleric magic!!!!!!!!! \\\\o//// i also like my hair and tail a lot!

Q - what’s something you used to be afraid of as a kid?

Finn: My aunt was quite scary haha. Psalm: When my mother got mad at me... Rokka: Loud noises Keva: throwing up Cimmorro: oh i used to see a shadow of a demon in my quarters quite often for a few years. freaked me out a lot of times but i believe lady wee jas protected me since that demon never did come to harm me at all. :D   

Q - do you know the muffin man?

Rokka: The muffin man..? Finn: The muffin man... I would like to meet him. Keva: what

Q - what’s your preferred weather

Rokka: Sunny! but with a nice breeze! (≧▽≦) Finn: I dislike rain, but fog can be nice to watch. Since I only operate at night now clear weather is preferred. Psalm: I like sunny weather, but rainy days are nice when I don't have to be outside. Keva: warm and clear Cimmorro: same as psalm.

Q - are you an early riser or late sleeper?

Rokka: EARLY WOLF CATCHES THE DEER Psalm: Depends on when I need to get up. Keva: depends Cimmorro: both…. 🤦‍♂️   

Q - what are your feelings on pda

Rokka: What's "peh-dah"? Psalm: I have no problem with it, although I dislike drawing attention to myself, so then again... Cimmorro: depends, but especially dislike it during work.   

Q - what’s your best “my coworkers are crazy” story?

Rokka: (nervously glances back at everyone) Um...Uh...Haha (forced smile) Keva: (doesn't break eye contact with the camera as she gestures at the rest of the party) Psalm: I was partnered with a friend once for a... well a thing that we had to do, and he somehow managed to gamble away all of his clothing. Cimmorro: all of this right now   

Q - what's your favourite type of bread

Keva: bread Rokka: Any is good! Psalm: Croissants are nice. Cimmorro: any as long as it’s fresh out of the oven.

Q - when was the last time you laughed so hard it was hard to stop? what was so funny?

Psalm: Refer to the "coworker" answer.

Q - guilty pleasures?

Psalm: I like to read poetry. I only feel guilty about it because a friend of mine said it made me seem too brooding, and now I'm a bit self conscious Cimmorro: playing pranks on my coworkers during break

Q - are you still in touch with friends from your childhood?

Keva: some of them Rokka: I wish I could say that Psalm: Not for a couple months now, no. Finn: Yes! My friend Sagessa and I are penpals, so even if we're far apart we can always talk!! Han: (han shakes her head dejectedly) Cimmorro: mhm   

Q - who's someone interesting you met recently

Rokka: Finn!!!!! He can turn into things! so cool Psalm: I would also have say Finn, as I'd never met a vampire before now. Not to say the rest of you aren't interesting enough. Finn: *turns into a bat and hangs himself upside down from Rokka's shoulder* Han: (han looks around warily) (whispers) psalm BUT DONT TELL HIM THAT!!!! what is that guys DEAL Cimmorro: i agree about finn    

Q - what's the best day you've had recently?

Rokka: Hard to say with whats been happening Psalm: "Recently" is a bit of a stretch. Finn: I had a good time at the ball with Orin! Cimmorro: the king consort accepting my offer was cool and exciting. feel like i haven’t had a normal job in years with how long these weeks have been going pffff

Q - do you have siblings

Psalm: It's entirely within the realm of possibility, but none that I'd ever care to meet. Keva: don't know Han: yes Cimmorro: in a way, yes

Q - how important is fashion to you

Finn: If I dont look good whats the point of anything. Psalm: Not very. Keva: it's not Rokka: Somewhat? I just bought my first and only shirt ever!! that's pretty fashionable of myself if you asked me. B) Han: (gets bashful) there are some cute dresses i see around town but... :wiwi: Cimmorro: [gestures at all of himself] :-) 

Q -  do you have any personal belongings that you would feel upset about losing? what are they?

Psalm: No, I've never really had any attachment to material things. I suppose there is this dagger I've picked up recently that has served some use, so maybe that...maybe. Finn: My earrings or my sword. I cherish them. Han: yeah. some weapons i have were made by uuh. a significant person in my life. Cimmorro: my headpiece and holy symbol. other jewelry pieces i have i can replace easily, but not these…

Q -  if you had a completely free day with no responsibilities or obligations, what would you do with your time?

Finn: Honestly? I'd like to sleep and dream about nice things. Rokka: I would love to go sight seeing at places i haven't been to! Han: oh me too Rokka!!!! maybe we can go together someday :) Cimmorro: mmm… quite rare the last few years but i did enjoy my day offs by fishing, spending time with the children and sleeping of course. i’ve no idea what else to do, otherwise...

Q - do you take long or short baths?

Finn: I liked to take long baths back then. Rokka: long! gotta make sure all this fur is fresh and clean! Han: i used to be in and out of the water real fast but i can enjoy a long bath now sometimes... Cimmorro: i like to take long ones whenever i can! but i often find myself having to take short baths or showers in a rush...

Q - favourite piece of literature?

Psalm: I haven't gotten much reading in recently, but I liked the stories my mum would read to me when I was younger. When I remember the names I'll get back to you. Rokka: the ones that has a picture of something and words that tells me what they are! I like those if that counts Keva: my what Finn: I love folklore and fairy tales... I hope this doesn't make me seem childish. Han: lich-reh.... is that one of those book names for a mushroom?? Cimmorro: does the white book count? feel like that’d be too obvious hehe… i like to read anything i find interesting at the time. arcane, scriptures of other churches, etc. not too big of a fan of fictions though.   

Q - ur cute have a nice day ♡

Finn: Rokka someone said youre cute. Rokka: oh..! really? how do you know?!

Q - if you could get away with one crime what would it be

Rokka: the only crime I will commit is this current crime due to being framed!!! Cin: Arson. Psalm: Murder I guess, given our current situation. Cimmorro: ...if i knew i was guilty, i’d turn myself right in.

Q - We Got A Benefit Concert 4 These Male Lesbians In Da Planning Stages How U Gon Contribute

Keva: [geralt "hm"]

Q - where is this fuk house located. I need it for research purposes.

Han: there are several brothels in shorewater, if you want i can give recommendation...

Q - how do you feel about showing skin when it comes to what you wear? are you comfortable with it, or do you prefer not to?

Han: (slaps her bare thigh) you know it baaabyyyyyyy Rokka: i feel more comfortable and less restricted with no shirt.....pants r cool tho! Psalm: Like any average person. Cimmorro: unless it’s incredibly hot out, i 100% avoid exposing any of these scales to any dirts and stains

Q - maybe in a word or two, without giving a lot away, what are you in shorewater for?

Han: i was told to get a fresh start here? whatever that means LOL Keva: repay a debt Rokka: im just s---im just sitting here Psalm: No particular reason. Just ended up here really.

Q - do you ever feel lonely

Finn: ^___^ Rokka: hard to when I'm around these fellas *gestures to everyone* Psalm: No, I don't mind being by myself. Keva: (long silence with no eye contact before answering) sometimes, lately, whatever Cimmorro: fucking homesick is more like it  

Q - what's something that makes you feel nostalgic

Han: ... some of my weapons and tools. Keva: i guess, elfonsent or whatever it's called here....big festivals for public holidays Cimmorro: Jasper.

Q - do you like to cook? what would you say is your specialty?

Rokka: does roasting something on a stick count??? Han: same as rokka... i think i always did more of preparation of ingredients than actual cooking. Keva: i don't cook Cimmorro: yeee people seem to enjoy my stuffed grilled fish the most

Q - do you like it here in shorewater, unfortunate events aside?

Han: yeah!!! its been fun! i was not here very long but i made a couple of friends!! Keva: eh, it's definitely true a lot of things happen here Cimmorro: i'm not particularly interested of this place

Q - how would you feel about getting involved in a train murder mystery that may or may not involve werewolves?

Han: WEREWOLVES???????????? HOW DO I INVOLVE MYSELF Keva: hard pass Cimmorro: [grimacing] i’d rather avoid doing anything that doesn’t involve my duties to my faith, if i had the choice. 

Q - what incredibly common thing have you never done?

Finn: So, I hear that commoners are very skilled in all sorts of handiwork? How exhilarating. One day, I'd like to fix my chair myself when it breaks down. Or shop for ingredients on a market street myself, imagine the wonders! Keva: read Cimmorro: ...a vacation?   

Q - Welcome to Good Burger home of the Good Burger! Can I take your order?

Finn: May I order some Nuggets

Q - do you prefer to be the big spoon or the little spoon?

Psalm: Neither. I don't sleep on my side. Keva: if i had to pick, big Rokka: either one...I'm not picky Finn: I have never been either. Well, perhaps the little spoon after sharing a bed with Rokka? Han: big spoon!!!!! Cimmorro: big

Q - do you like to dance?

Keva: (shrugs) it can be fun with friends Psalm: Yes. Rokka: yeah!! boogie woogie oogie Finn: Very much so! Cimmorro: yeap!!

Q - if you could have any animal or beast as a pet without any harm to you or those around you, what would you have?

Rokka: bunnies are cute hehe Han: i would have a giant dragon or chimera or some thing badass like that Finn: A dragon indeed sounds "badass". But isn't it too big?... Cimmorro: both are huge and sound tedious to upkeep nonetheless. i’m perfectly happy with Jasper.

Q - if you were to change your hairstyle, what would you do?

Han: i wonder what it would be like if i cut all off, but... Keva: cut it short again i guess Psalm: I'd grow it out. Rokka: *looks at his whole body* much to think about Finn: I'd want to cut it short again. But at the moment I'm trying to grow it out. Cimmorro: i once considered growing mine out a bit just to try, but i usually trim my hair during the summer so it never came to be. i feel like it’d be a hassle to do it now and i’ve lost interest.  

Q - Hey! What do you guys think of the death penalty?

Keva: i don't Want to think abt the death penalty Rokka: same here Finn: Sir this is a fuckhouse.

Q - have you all ever heard a voice in your head?

Rokka: the one that sounds like me? yeah Psalm: No. Finn: *blinks Yes in morse code*

Q - boobs or butts?

Psalm: Who would ask this...? *He chuckles and doesn't answer.* Rokka: Do.....Do we really have to answer this? *sweating* Finn: There's only one correct choice. Han: this question is foolish. both are great.

Q - if you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Plum: ..................................... Psalm: The ability to go back in time would be useful.  Plum: the ability to go back in time would be useful Rokka: stop making me choose one thing i can't choose. Finn: I want to dual wield blades. Cimmorro: teleportation powers perhaps... 

Q - if you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Psalm: What an odd question... I'd rather keep my mind. I'm curious how a 90-year old me would look. Rokka: This is hard Finn: *laughs in vampire* Han: body Cimmorro: body

Q - tell me about the first crush you remember having

Psalm: No. (offscreen there is a screech of a chair. keva is leaving) Rokka: Ummm...... Finn: (Finn "Hm"s) Did anyone else crush on characters from the books they've read? For me it was a swordsman, in any case. Han: (whispers to the asker) whats a crush?? Cimmorro: [tilting head at han and shaking his head] ...yeah, finn. wee jas.

Q - what’s your favourite thing about someone you admire?

Rokka: she's really tall! and strong! I admire her strengths! she's really nice!!! She's the best. Keva: that everything would be okay if they were around. or it felt like that at least Psalm: He was more friendly than me, and I envied how easily he could make friends when we were younger. Finn: He stands his ground against anyone. Han: they are so easy going and kind hearted, even when i am not to them. Cimmorro: just about everything? especially that they seem to never break under pressure and are completely capable of making decisions with swiftness and grace...

Q - would you like to be famous? in what way?

Psalm: Absolutely not. Keva: no Rokka: I don't think I have the skills to go that far. Finn: I don't aspire much fame but some renown as a swordsman seems worthwhile. Cimmorro: gaining a good enough reputation to be an influencer… i believe it would be important for the church, so i wouldn’t refuse it.  

Q - rokka how does it feel to be the funniest person in existence

Rokka: I don't know how it feels because I just found out I am funny...? How?

Q - rokka i have on good authority that cole wants to play rugby with you what’s your response

Rokka: YEAHHHH LETS GOOOOOO maybe then we can become true friends through the bonds of rugby!!!!!

Q - rokka what do you think about shirts

Rokka: They're alright I guess? Don't really see the point of it though

Q - Plum, would you like to shop with me one day? I love your fashion sense. -Finn

Plum:  I WOULD LOVE TO. WHEN THIS SHIT IS OVER THEN ALSO THANK YOU

Q - plum are your teeth crooked or did you lose a tooth

Plum: they're crooked

Q - cole what do you think about vinny as a boss

Cole: ooooh incredible ! The fact that i get to work under a wizard of his skills as an apprentice still bowls me over, I've learned so much and i haven't even been here all that long. I know he doesn't seem to like the Accord much but being part of their group is no joke, he musta' had some cool projects back in the day. He doesn't seem to mind when i break things either, he's a real swell guy like that, nothing like my last boss [nervous laughter]

Q - when is the last time you got a manipedi

Rokka: got a what? Cimmorro: i do my own! as often as needed!

Q - what is it like having a tail

Rokka: Idk? ok? but what's it like NOT having a tail though? :thonk: Psalm: ...Normal. This is the norm for me, so I have no clue how to answer this in a way that would be satisfactory to someone that doesn't have one. Like with any part of the body, I don't really think about it unless I remember it's there. I guess the one thing is that I don't like having holes in my clothes, so everything I wear is low waisted. Finn: I wasn't aware everything you wear is low waisted, much less why. Psalm: I always wear a waist sash, but next time I can go without if you're curious. Cimmorro: i used to trip over my own tail a lot when i was a kid. it was rather long for my size at the time hehe

Q -  you’re right rokka what is it like Not having a tail

Rokka: You Tell Me Keva: they weren't asking you

Q - rokka how do you maintain your fur

Rokka: Check out my youtube channel please like and subscribe! -> [link to fur answer above]

Q - Keva what is the way to your heart? I'm asking for a friend...

Keva: tell your friend to find smth better to do

Q - finn your hair is so shiny what’s your secret

Finn, visibly confused: There is no secret to my haircare. I simply do what everyone else does, no? Personally I use lye soap and rosewater. Perhaps you ought to try a different oil or mixture from your usual.

Q - finn what do you think about your uncle’s growing fanclub? what does he think abt it?

Finn: His "fanclub"? Well, it is true people take a liking to my uncle rather quickly, but I've yet to see him reciprocate any such affections. If this "club" is anything official I would like to be its president though, to guide others of course. I may find someone who could get along with him, he really ought to settle down one of these days!

Q - finn can you tell us a little bit about your cousins?

Finn: Hmm... from the beginning they have been more outgoing than me, I must admit I am a bit envious of that. But the Vengaboys have brought out a lot in me already, I think.

Q - hey finn how tall are your heels

Finn: 3 inches. But I have taller ones for balls and the like.

Q - orin what would it take for you to share an embarrassing story about keva

Orin: hmmmm id probably wait until she left the room first....

Q - vinny how bad is your eyesight without glasses

Vinny: bad enough that id fall down the stairs in my own store if i lost em’ [anime sweatdrop] its why they have that handy string attached to them now, and well also because the cats like to bat at my face sometimes...

Q - ezra and cole have you ever had to help vinny find his glasses. let me clarify i know he has that thing where his glasses can hang from his neck but have you ever had to help vinny find his glasses bc he lost them anyways

Ezra: never, but he didn't always have the string, he told me he slapped it on because he had that exact problem. Cole: I've only ever seen em' with that string so he’s never really lost em'... though one time he broke them and i had to help him around the store for a week until a friend of his could fix them, its the grumpiest ive ever seen him [ she makes a face like this :y and laughs ] 

Q - ezra i'm serious will you please let me buy you a new coat

Ezra: [he looks down confused at his clothes] ....

Q - ezra why won’t you get a new coat

Ezra:  ...... do i need a new coat...?  *Psalm laughs a little in the bg.*

Q - can you tell us more about your family han?

Han: ha ha hA HA HA HA HA HA HA. no. i want avoid all thought about them.

Q - han which muscle group is your favourite to flex

Han: (sits like the thinker for a long time in contemplative silence) for me, legs and thighs feel most strong. but others like when i flex arms 💪

Q - han you are very cool don’t let anyone tell you otherwise also i love you

Han: i am cool, thank you mystery stranger,  also wH-- 

Q - han do you want to build a snowman

Han: you know, we used to play game where we would roll each other in wheel, down mountain, into snowmen, and who hits most win... fun times. i do want to build snowman again, yes :)

Q - which of you know how to tell direction from the stars

Han: i know ! 😊 (quieter) but only little bit... Cimmorro: ...y’know, someone once tried to teach me how to do this but i’ve fallen asleep while we were talking. [has guilt written all over his face]

Q - han what is your favourite way to wear your hair

Han: ah...my sibling did this complicated braid on me, before... it look very thin, like basket weaving...sad, never learned how they do it (han looks a bit melancholic)

Q - what do you value most in friendship? 

Psalm: I should buy a full pitcher of beer at the next tavern, and for every question about friendship we receive just take a long sip from it. Rokka: the bond! loyalty! respect! this is more than one! oh well! Finn: The ability to confide without fearing loss or judgement. Keva: trust Han: oh, i agree with answer from finn. 

Q - han, cole, and rokka how did you get so swole

Cole: [she taps her forehead] step one...mental fortitude.... Han: (scoffs) have someone on your ass since you have memory Rokka: (taps his biceps) determination! 

Q - May I inquire where you've picked up that rodent from Keva? -Finn

Keva: while traveling

Q - psalm how long have you kept a journal

Psalm: Not very. I just started it. Helps to keep my thoughts organised, and having just reached Shorewater I figured it would be worth chronicling what I got up to.

Q -  psalm you wear a lot of black nail polish but do you have any other colors? what are your favourites?

Psalm: I'm not fond of bright colours (for my nails at least), so black is my favourite. I've never really tried out anything else, but maybe I should, just for a change of pace.

Q - do you guys like piercings ?

Keva: do i like having them or do i like when other people have them what are you asking Rokka: (points at keva) what she said Psalm: Yes, I do have them after all. 

Q -  aaaaalright heres a better question then. would you prefer for your partner to have piercings or not? do you find it attractive?

Psalm: Oh I see. I guess they are attractive aren't they? (lol) Rokka: if they like them then I like them! They can wear whatever they want! I don't really have a preference for it. Finn: As long as it is nothing obscene, I will accept it. It can have its charm, I admit. Keva: i don't really care. i guess? Han: its so cool!! i wanted some myself but aah.. my tribe was very against that thing Cimmorro: yeah and yup.

Q - hey tieflings what’s horn maintenance like for you

Psalm: Not unlike er-, "body maintenance". At least in my case I don't do anything particularly special. Cimmorro: mine are too small to have any need for maintenance. i consider it a lucky thing since it’s less things to worry about.

Q - Psalm, who is your favourite character in GBF? -Finn

Psalm: I like Vania. I have to start playing water now because of her new alt unfortunately but... can't be helped. Finn: Haha, I like that answer. Good luck with your water! Psalm: Oh? I'm glad I passed. And thank you. 

Q - would you ever wear matching couple things with your significant other

Finn: As long as it is fashionably, gladly.... That sounds like a very sweet idea, dear reader. Rokka: yeah!! I think it's cute hehe Psalm: That depends on the thing. Keva: ^ Cimmorro: absolutely

Q - hi um this question is for psalm how do you keep your hooves warm in the winter? do you have socks? leg warmers?

Psalm: That's an interesting question. While I'm not that well versed in the specifics of tiefling anatomy, I do know that keeping warm isn't really an issue for me whenever it gets cold, so I don't typically wear anything like socks.

Q - rokka do you have a favourite meat dish?

Rokka: hmm...anything roasted on a stick? But that's a stick not dish...meat buns!

Q - hey psalm han and plum your brows are amazing what salon do you go to

Han: sah lon? i dont know what that but these run in family Psalm: These are how they are naturally. I have better things to do with my own time than fuss about my appearance too much.

Q - what are your thoughts on the institution of marriage

Psalm: My parents are married and seem to like each other enough, so I suppose it's not so bad. Finn: I think it is merely a matter of who you choose to spend your life with, not marriage itself. So, I would like to be wed happily. Han: (whispers to the asker) whats marriage???? Cimmorro: [tilts head and squints a bit at han again rn]

Q - keva, do you think youll ever learn how to read? if yes, what kind of books would you want to read ?

Keva: (gaze falls to the table at the first question but at the second question she looks up and her eyes slightly squint questioningly at you) idk what kinda books there are bc i can’t read Psalm: Would you like some recommendations? I can read them to you if you want. Keva: (is getting visibly pink) Psalm: ....Is that a no?

Q - for every one, what's the way to your heart??

Finn: Hmm... you must be worthy as my rival! (he gives his rapier a test swing) That is for sure. But should you lack a passion for swordsmanship, please do your best to entertain me at a ball, at the very least. Rokka: um...? (Scratches his head nervously) I'm not sure how to answer this haha....just....please  love me??? *shy* Psalm: I've never thought about it. I just like who I like. Cimmorro: fuck around and find out! 

Q - do you own any porn? what kind

Han: asker, are you sure you dont just want directions to brothel? Rokka: what's a porn and how do you own one? What kinds are there? Psalm: "What's a porn" he says... Don't worry too much about it Rokka. Cimmorro: the only porn you all should be reading is the white book 

Q - would you or would you not try roller skates (shoes with wheels on them)?

Finn: Shoes with wheels on them? That sounds most absurd... and yet... I must inform my uncle of this. Where does one acquire such shoes... ? Rokka: (tries to picture this in his head for too long the interviewer moves on) 🤔 Psalm: This sounds like a prime setup for falling on my ass, so no.

Q - hi vengaboys. i’ve been following your adventures since predebut. i’ve been stuck at home bc of a global pandemic and i gotta say it’s really bumming me out. what should i do

Finn: I have plenty experience with staying at home. A lot of people might tell you to hone a skill or indulge in hobbies you have been neglecting and while that can be a productive use of your time, it is easier spoken than done, no? I recommend, if you are allowed, to seek out quiet places without many people around. That way you do not endanger yourself or anyone else in these trying times. Spending time in nature is quite refreshing. Please look forward to our continued performance, dear reader. Psalm: *Is somewhat amazed.* I don't think I can give a better answer than that one. Rokka: wow finn you're so smart

Q - would you ever become a vegetarian if you aren’t already one

Keva: no Rokka: I don't like salad Psalm: Sure. Finn: I would literally die. I know I like to not die, so no.

Q - To psalm and finn, what’s your thoughts on that belial guy?

Psalm: *coughs into his sleeve* Finn: *does the same*

Q - how do you like to celebrate birthdays

Finn: I think throwing a ball can be quite fun, but I think spending it intimately is far more pleasurable. I am not so vain as to demand a ball each time.

Q - do you have people waiting for you wherever you call home? if you can share, who?

Finn: My family. I can't wait to speak to my cousins again and tell them about this job, shall it go well. Psalm: I'm not sure if "waiting" is the word I'd use, but yes. Cimmorro: i can’t imagine any of those people not wanting my presence again

Q - do you like hugs

Finn: ... If they come from the right people, then yes, certainly. Rokka: oh! yes, I like hugging Psalm: What Finn said. I like them about as much as the average person, although I have a friend that mocks me for not being particularly good at giving them, whatever that means. (How can you be bad at hugging...?) Finn: Perhaps your posture is stiff, Psalm? It can make the hug feel rather "cold", so to speak. Psalm: That's what he said... (He looks lost in thought.) Rokka: psalm if you need practice hugging I am here (stands there with open arms) Finn: Consciously think about your movement. Are you actually bending your torso, properly using your arms? Try with Rokka. Keva: (was about to answer but is now biting her lip to keep from laughing at rokka and finn coaching psalm on hugging) Han: (faces away from this spectacle and slaps a hand over her mouth to not break out laughing too) Psalm: There's a lot more that goes into hugging than I initially thought.

Q -  do you prefer hot weather or cold?

Keva: hot Han: cold!! honestly its too hot in shorewater... i never thought i would miss snow Rokka: more warm than hot......but if i had to choose between the two then it would be cold Finn: I've been preferring cold weather as of late. Psalm: Hot. Cimmorro: personally i’m more of an in between guy but if i’ve no choice then i’d say cold. 

Q -  when was the last time you went on a date

Finn: I'd like to go on one in the first place :cryingcat: Rokka: I wanna go on one too!! Finn: ... Looks like we both have something to gain here. I jest of course. Psalm: *racking his brain* Can't remember. Cimmorro: a couple or so years ago.   

Q -  Hello Vengaboys! We have not had the pleasure of meeting but I am an old friend of Finnian's. He tells me about your travels in his letters and I quite look forward to reading them. Your time in Shorewater sounds like it has been quite the whirlwind! I am writing because I have always known Finnian to be a kind and gentle boy who worries about others often, and I want to be sure he is as okay as he says he is. How is he really? Please treat him well, and please do not tell him I wrote! I imagine he would be quite beside himself with embarrassment if he found out. Sincerely yours, Sagessa  P.S. I do hope we get to meet one day! May Pelor protect you until and long after then.

Rokka: Hello sagessa!! Nice to, uh, read you! I didn't know he had a friend! Yes...shorewater has been super crazzzzy. Kind of scary actually...don't come here. (Lol) you're right he is kind and well so far! He's nice to me and I like him! We shared a bed and it was nice. Also, don't worry my lips are sealed! Promise! Sincerely, Rokka. P.s. I hope to meet you soon! (saying this all outloud) 

Q - Who taught you all how to fight? Or to hone in on a specific skill?

Psalm: I've been trying to figure that out myself. Rokka: my father Finn: *side eyes psalm* I took an interest in swordsmanship early. I've had an instructor and participated in many tournaments. Your opponents are your most valuable teachers. Han: ...the whole tribe, really. Keva: i learned on my own at first. Cimmorro: good ol’ parents gyahaha

Q - do any of you know how to give good massages

Psalm: I know, but whether or not they're "good" remains to be seen. Cimmorro: we were certainly taught basic massage techniques but i don’t really have the strength for it [laughs wryly]

Q - what are your thoughts and feelings about your country or hometown?

Psalm: I'll save time and just say that they're mostly positive. Finn: My hometown is okay. Could be better. :/ Cimmorro: i like my hometown. i can’t imagine settling down anywhere else at the moment.   

Q - do you like bugs

Rokka: yeah, they're neat! Lady bugs were my favourite when I was young. Keva: as long as they're not biting me or trying to get at my food, they're fine Psalm: No, but I'm not scared of them either or anything silly like that. Finn: As a child I was less aversive to them but I must admit I find them most unpleasant and avoid all contact. Cimmorro: yeah!

Q - would you confess to your love interest first

Rokka: idk maybe? I've never been in this situation before do I'm not sure...👉👈 Psalm: It depends. No sense in keeping some things hidden though. Finn: If there is no other way, yes. Cimmorro: sure. beating around the bush feels like a waste of time really.   

Q - Do any of you have any second given names?

Finn: Yes, actually. My second name is Oswald. Han: (scoffs) no. threw it out.

Q - does your chain hang low does it bobble to the floor can you tie it in a knot can you tie in a bow can you throw it o’er your shoulder like a smth smth smth does your chain hang low

Finn: Psalm, do you recognize this writing ? Psalm: It...sounds vaguely familiar, but as I'm not from around here I'm not too sure.

Q - have you ever been to or in a wedding party? do you like going to weddings?

Psalm: I've been to my parents' wedding, but aside from that not really. I do like parties. Wedding parties seem like fun. Cimmorro: i ordain weddings... or, well, i used to. the parties are fun, but overseeing the ceremony itself is something i’d rather avoid.

Q - have you ever been somewhere haunted?

Psalm: I would hope not. Cimmorro: once or twice? strangely fun? i’d recommend it :)

Q - have you ever held a baby

Psalm: Probably? What kind of question is this? Han: ..yeah. Cimmorro: yeah! it was practically my job back then haha

Q - what would be an invention you’d really like to see to make life easier

Psalm: Airships were already invented, so I'm out of ideas. Cimmorro: a portable communication device more efficient than a sending stone sounds nice

Q - plum do you miss your sister?

Plum: yeah. who the hell are you

Q - keva what's your favourite hairstyle?

Keva: there’s up and there’s down idk how to do anything else Finn: You don't know how to do anything else? If you are ever interested I'd be happy to assist you in finding something to your liking. And to teach, shall you wish it. Keva: first psalm now you what is going on Psalm: It's an admirable trait for sure :-). Finn: You could simply stand to make more of yourself, Keva. Keva: you're just making fun of me now Finn: Absolutely not. But let's just say you're not going to impress anyone like this. Keva: who is there to-- i'm not Trying to impr-- okay (she is leaving) Finn laughs quietly to himself as she leaves Psalm: Hmm.. if I ever grow my hair out I'll be sure to come to you Finn. Finn: Gladly.

Q - i heard thru the town crier that you all were not in fact the ones who ruined elfonsent spell but how do i know i can trust you

Psalm: We didn't ruin the ball. Just take the kings' word for it I guess

Q - do you like to draw

Finn: I do not recall ever trying my hand at it. I've no time for such things. Plum: sometimes  Cimmorro: sure.

Q - would you get a tattoo? what and where would it be?

Rokka: What if 😳 I already 😳 have a tattoo😳 ? 😳 On my back 😳 Plum: *confused thinking about all the fur... did they shave him first and then tattoo him? the fuck would be the point if the fur just grows back??* Han: i only have all this birthmark... and if anything, i would like to get rid of them. Cimmorro: i already have one but maybe i’d get a few more 🤔

Q - when you’re not feelin so hot what do you do to cheer yourself up?

Rokka: roaming or good company is always nice...but it hasn't been that easy to have these days. Keva: find somewhere up high Psalm: Not sure. I have the tendency to avoid problems. Plum: drink, i think? pretty sure i drink Han: go as far into a forest as i can Cimmorro: drink

Q - have any of you had a job before this? i know han worked at the swallow’s perch but what about the rest of you? what was the job if you can share?

Psalm: I'm in my early twenties. I think there'd be something wrong if I didn't have some line of work before this. (He ignores the rest of the question.) Plum: i work for an alchemist over in talornia Rokka: check it (starts juggling) Han: hey im still working there ;-; Cimmorro: temple work. i help oversee almost everything.

Q - do any of you know how to play instruments?

Psalm: I definitely can't. Keva: sort of, not really Cimmorro: nah... though i was interested in learning one

Q - any favourite scary stories?

Psalm: I'm pretty ambivalent about the horror genre. Not my thing. Finn: That's a shame. I would've asked you for a recommendation Psalm.

#QA #QARokka #QAKeva #QAHan #QAFinn #QAPlum #QAPsalm #QAVinny #QAEzra #QACole #QACimmorro #chip creates a whole new series of tags

[dustycactus]

tag game thing that i’m doing the whole thing instead of just the ones i get in asks cuz wooo

1: name: kaiden 2: age: 15 3: 3 fears: the ocean, being left alone, and uh basketballs (those r terrifying you’ve gotta admit) 4: 3 things i love: drawing, the cold weather, and pastel yellow 5: 4 turns on: people with eyes, people with a heart, people with a brain, and people who are nice (do u rly think i’m going to say NOT SAFE FOR WORK THINGS ON MY TOTALLY SAFE FOR WORK BLOG pshh what r u on about) 6: 4 turns off: rude people in general, too much sarcasm, does ~drugs~ (the illegal shit), very judgy. 7: my best friend: MY LITTLE BLUE HAIRED FUCKKKEERRR, or just my cousin lol 8: sexual orientation: pansexual with a preference for bois 9: my best first date: uh we went to go get ice cream and then went to their rooftop asdfghjk i haven’t been on many dates 10: how tall am i: 5″6 11: what do i miss: my home town and the cold weather 12: what time were i born: 2 AM 13: favorite color: yellow or blue 14: do i have a crush: nah not for now 15: favorite quote: “existence, well what does it matter. i exist on the best terms i can. the past is now part of my future, the present is well out of hand”- ian curtis (lol not the most inspiring but i love) 16: favorite place: a small cliff behind a restaurant in my hometown. 17: favorite food: kitkats, or ice cream 18: do i use sarcasm: not really, no 19: what am i listening to right now: Kool Thing by Sonic Youth 20: first thing i notice in new person: their way of speaking, or their eyes. 21: shoe size: 9 1/2 22: eye color: brown :/ 23: hair color: brown again :/ 24: favorite style of clothing: the late 70′s- early 80′s punk outfits asdfghj i wish i was cool enough to pull that off 25: ever done a prank call?: ye 27: meaning behind my url: well right now it’s pumpkinspiced-aliens and it’s because it’s halloween and i love aliens asdfghjk 28: favorite movie: donnie darko, or maybe rocky horror 29: favorite song: can’t choose :( 30: favorite band: twenty one pilots and close second would be the clash asdfghjk what a nerd amiright  31: how i feel right now: 40% empty and 60% unaware of my surroundings and thinking about how useless life is ::))) 32: someone i love: my bro 33: my current relationship status: v single 34: my relationship with my parents: i guess okay? idk  35: favourite holiday: halloween and christmas (i already bought a christmas phone case i’m fuckin prepared) 36: tattoos and piercing i have: ear piercings, no tattoos yet 37: tattoos and piercing i want: probs gages, but not that big maybe the size of pencil erasers,, also a tattoo of a flamingo because reasons. 38: the reason i joined tumblr: because i needed something to do on the weekends and reason to get out of bed 39: do i and my last ex hate each other?: no we’re friends and hang out sometimes, i just realized that they’re not the type of person i like, so eh 40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: i fuckin wish :’( 41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted?: uh yeah 42: when did i last hold hands?: today with my idiot friend nayla jkjk ily 43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: like 40 minutes maybe 44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: :p 45: where am i right now?: at home 46: if i were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: probs my friend caro cuz she would be there too 47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: depends,, if i’m angry or sad really loud, but when i’m ghosty and stuff at a normal level 48: do i live with my mom and dad?: yeah 49: am i excited for anything?: for the hiatus to be over asdfg jk but also moving out  50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to? : uh not really everything,, i don’t tell everything to anyone but yeah i guess i’ve got a few friends that i trust with some information 51: how often do i wear a fake smile?: more often than people think 52: when was the last time i hugged someone?: today  53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: i tried to kiss my brother on the cheek and we accidentally touched lips but yee, um, i would be cheering that girl on 54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not?: i’m the most paranoid person about this stuff so no 55: what is something i disliked about today?: i had a science test and i had a panic attack at 3 AM 56: if i could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: uh probs tyler and josh, or just my soulmate esrdgfhh jkjk 57: what do i think about most? now that i think about it, it’s either college or death 58: what’s my strangest talent?: i can hold my breath for 3.5 minutes underwater asdfg it’s not that long but it’s oky 59: do i have any strange phobias?: other than the ocean and basketballs? i don’t think so. 60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: behind 61: what was the last lie i told?: this is gonna sound super fake and stuff but i said “i love you” asdfghjk 62: do i perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: talking on the phone 63: do i believe in ghosts? how about aliens?: ghosts? not really. aliens? damn right i do hmu if u want the full explanation 64: do i believe in magic?: nah 65: do i believe in luck?: maybe 66: what’s the weather like right now?: it was sunny a few minutes ago and now it’s windy like crazy idk what the fuck happened 67: what was the last book i’ve read?: stephen king’s “the girl who loved tom gordon” 68: do i like the smell of gasoline? fuck yeah 69: do i have any nicknames? not really other than kitkat or kai 70: what was the worst injury i’ve ever had?: my ankle snapped in half after being pushed to the bottom of a pool asdfghj it’s a long story 71: do i spend money or save it?: i spend it way too fast help 72: can i touch my nose with a tounge?: with A tongue? probs, not with my own tho 73: is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? yes my 3ds 74: favourite animal?: can’t choose but i love lizards 75: what was i doing last night at 12am?: showering fgh 76: what do i think is Satan’s last name is?: probs something super common like Johnson or Barkley or Trump. 77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it?: chills by down with webster lolol it reminds me of home 78: how can you win my heart?: being sweet and sending me good morning and goodnight texts 79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone?: “and a great succ he was....” and whatever else my family wants to write on it lolol 80: what is my favorite word?: plump 81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr: i don’t want to annoy them by tagging them but i love so many 82: if the whole world were listening to me right now, what would i say?: i would read every single one of my angry political letters and then tell them to fuck off. 83: do i have any relatives in jail? nah 84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. they were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: props invisibility or magic healing 85: what would be a question i’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: r u ok? 86: what is my current desktop picture?: the meme man 87: had sex?: asdfghjkljhgfdsfghjk,jhgfd no 88: bought condoms?: no but i got a bunch of them thrown at me once 89: gotten pregnant?: no 90: failed a class?: yee in like 6th grade 91: kissed a boy?: ye 92: kissed a girl?: ye 93: have i ever kissed somebody in the rain?: no but i wish 94: had job?: there are so many different things you could be talking about right now but yes i have had a working job 95: left the house without my wallet?: yeyeyey 96: bullied someone on the internet?: nope 97: had sex in public?: jcfghjghvewbdsjhwefhgv no 98: played on a sports team?: yee 99: smoked weed?: no 100: did drugs?: uh bad memories ascghj but technically yes and it sucked 101: smoked cigarettes?: ye like only a couple of timez,,, like 10,,,, i’m not addicted tho 102: drank alcohol?: ye 103: am i a vegetarian/vegan?: pesco vegetarian  104: been overweight?: nope 105: been underweight?: yep 106: been to a wedding?: yep 107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: yep  108: watched tv for 5 hours straight?: yep 109: been outside my home country?: bitch yes 110: gotten my heart broken?: kinda i guess 111: been to a professional sports game?: nah 112: broken a bone?: ye 113: cut myself?: purposefully, no. 114: been to prom?: well they’ve got “proms” at my school which is the entire high school including the seniors but like yeah i have 115: been in airplane?: too many times 116: fly by helicopter?: yee 117: what concerts have i been to?: so manyyy,,, tell me if u want me to say them all 118: had a crush on someone of the same sex?: i’m practically gay 119: learned another language?: i speak french and italian ~fluently~ 120: wore make up?: yes 121: lost my virginity before i was 18?: asdfghj no 122: had oral sex?: azsxdcfgvhbjbvgfhvewubcyfbkuycfuyqerliu no 123: dyed my hair?: eyeyyeyeyeeee 124: voted in a presidential election?: nope 125: rode in an ambulance?: yee 126: had a surgery?: yeee 127: met someone famous?: i met johnny cash,,, also his daugther 128: stalked someone on a social network?: celebrities yes 129: peed outside?: yee 130: been fishing?: yee 131: helped with charity?: yee 132: been rejected by a crush?: no 133: broken a mirror?: not that i remember 134: what do i want for birthday?: this year i only got 50 dollars haha i would like some clothes maybe and a ukelele 135: how many kids do i want and what will be their names?: i want 1 max 2 but idk their names yet,,, a girl i would name kayla cuz yeah 136: was I named after anyone?: nope 137: do i like my handwriting?: nope 138: what was my favourite toy as a child?: this little ballerina doll i had gotten in a mcdonalds happy meal 139: favourite tv Show?: “that 70′s show” or stranger things 140: where do i want to live when older?: toronto, montreal, or ottawa 141: play any musical instrument?: guitar, piano, and clarinet 142: one of my scars, how did I get it?: instead of using a plate to cut my sandwich in half while camping, i put a paper towel on my thigh and sliced a 1 cm cut into it lmao  143: favourite pizza toping?: pepperoni  144: am i afraid of the dark?: eh not really 145: am i afraid of heights?: not at all 146: have i ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?: i got caught by my dad trying to steal a beer for my cousin,,,  147: have i ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?: on literally every test i’ve ever taken 148: what i’m really bad at: texting, being supportive, sharing food, physics, and general emotions 149: what my greatest achievments are: probs getting 1st at a national competition for a sport which i am not going to tell you 150: the meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: that i don’t have any friends and that i should drink bleach while jumping off the CN tower :) 151: what i’d do if i won in a lottery: donate a quarter of it to charity, giving another quarter to sick family members, and the rest save for my education and my brother’s. 152: what do i like about myself: i’ve got nice eyelashes i’ve been told 153: my closest tumblr friend: idk... 154: something i fantasise about: having a nice romantic relationships

THERE DONE BJKHSDAKUJSDXKHJEKYGUYHWERUHIFR

#about kaiden

[pokeanangel]

Remembering..

I remember when I first met you..

I was dating someone else at the time and I was introduced. You were just a guy. In a mall. Playing what you loved. Smh. I never thought anything of it other than I thought you were cute. I nodded and said, “nice to meet you,” and walked away with the boyfriend I had at the time. I never thought anything more than.. He is cute..

Little did I know.. You would be back in my life…

Almost 2 years ago..

We worked together before we started talking. I remember some chats we had outside our workplace.. Numbers were exchanged.. But nothing ever came about.. We would talk about anything and everything. Still, maybe it wasn’t our time. Or maybe.. It was a learning curve for us.. But two years ago. Not to the day… Aug. 23, 2015 I messaged you. I asked, if you wanted to join me and a few friends for karaoke. I had plans on hooking you up with someone. I still feel bad. I mean, I wanted her happy.. I didn’t care about myself.. We didn’t talk that much before.. Who cares right? So, before we ALL went out.. I invited you to dinner. I had just worked a 12hr shift and was running around the entire town doing work. I was hungry and I wanted company. I picked you up at your place and we went to dinner.. Applebees.. We talked and shit. I explained what was going on and how I felt. You told me that you didn’t like her like that… Of course… I felt horrible. Maybe we shouldn’t do this.. But I think that my friend will at least enjoy one night with you. I remember taking you back to your place.. And we went up stairs to talk… After that… I knew I was in for it. Just talking to you made me worry.. I didn’t think anything of it. But I really did think you were cute. If only ppl knew how much I truly loved you. After that night. I think we constantly saw each other. I didn’t want to catch feelings. And I told him that it was happening.. So we backed off from each other. I still wasn’t wanting this thing to end between us. A couple of months went by and next thing you know I’m constantly sick.. I drank a few more times than I should have and was smoking too. I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t sure how to feel. But I was scared… Scared to have another child. Scared that my oldest would be jealous.. Scared that this was a mistake. Another mistake that I honestly didn’t think I could handle. I didn’t want to be a single mom. I cried.. I cried because I wanted another so badly. But still was scared. I wanted it to be loved so much from both sides of the family.. I told you. It was shock.. It was.. I don’t know what it was but… It is what it is.. I avoided you. I couldn’t help but want to crawl into a hole. You didn’t want to have kids. Then this! I left. I was relieved to just have told you. I just lived life.. I didn’t know what else to do.. I worked long hours away from home. Barely got to see my oldest. Then a month later I went to the OB and I was cramping.. I noticed I was spotting but it didn’t usually mean much. Sometimes it happens. You bleed a little because of implantation. I get to the OB and it got more and more painful.. The OB warned me. I could miscarry because of my HCG levels weren’t raising quickly enough for their liking. I got an ultrasound preformed and what I dreaded.. Had happened. They weren’t very caring. They just sent me on my way. I went to tell you and you just… Were relieved and happy. I mean, I saw you.. I just needed to go.. I got out of my car and told you. I remember looking at you and you just said, it was for the best. You weren’t ready. I completely understood. I wanted to just leave. I’m about to get into my car and your friend calls me over. I really should have left.. But he is your best friend and I figured this would probably be our last encounter. I came up on his deck and we talked. He asked about my pregnancy.. I told him i miscarried. He quickly said his peace on everything with us and moved onto the next item. After that night… I went home crying. I was a mess. Pieces of me were just everywhere. No one understood wtf was wrong with me. I shut down. I hated my job, men, women, just everything. I couldn’t think straight. I still talked to you once in awhile. I honestly didn’t know why. I hated how I felt. I didn’t realize I was hooked on you. You truly were this drug. A drug that shouldn’t be on the streets.. He… IT would be so addictive that it would kill anyone or thing in it’s presence. You think I would have learned my lesson.. However, I did not. I immediately started birth control after the miscarriage. I couldn’t imagine putting myself through another.. I was stressed out and fumbling around with myself. I would talk to you.. I never realized that it would go too far. But this addiction I had.. It overtook me. It stripped me of my entire being! I was so angry.. I wanted to just let my world crumble, but I was also depressed. So, so sad. Do you know what it is like losing something? Something so important that it eats at you because you know you lost it? Because.. Losing a baby… Even tho it may have been so small.. Microscopic.. It’s still a baby in a person’s eyes.. Its crushing for someone that had wanted something so badly. Never wanted to feel that crushing pain again. So, birth control it was! On the mini pill. Ugh. It sucked. Why not the ring or shot or whatever? Because the hormones messed me up so bad.. I thought it was bad before.. Ugh Horrible after everything except this stupid mini pill. I remember seeing you.. I had gone shopping with your sister for Christmas after this.. Situation… I remember going to your place and hanging out with you. I handed it over.. A journal.. Zelda.. Nothing special, at least, I thought.. Ya know… To this day I really don’t know if it was important to you. Of course, you seemed to like it. We sat there talked.. I remember thinking I should probably just leave. We talked more.. The rest was a blur. I remember waking up after our round of..fun.. And getting dressed and leaving. I think I went home then work.. It was awkwardly warm out. I can’t remember much. I feel like I blocked out that month.. On Dec 28th I was in Stephen City, VA. The Wal-Mart. I was walking into a store.. And I got sick! Threw up into a storm drain.. I just had a sip of coffee. I love coffee. I didn’t think anything of it. Then I realized… I had been sick feeling for a couple of weeks.. The last time I saw you was two and a half weeks prior.. I had my period the beginning of that month. I ran to pharmacy and grabbed a test. I kept saying.. I couldn’t be. I don’t need this. I’m so scared. I panicked. I paid for it Then ran to the bathroom. It was faint, but it was positive. Have you ever stopped one day and truly watched one of those ‘Clearblue’ commercials? How the women that had that positive outcome.. Were happy and in tears and the other half was smiling? Then you look at me.. At mine.. Sheer fear. I went and got two more.. Kept one for the following morning. They all came back positive. I remember just sitting there.. Not happy.. Definitely cry.. But they weren’t tears of joy. I stopped drinking and smoking. I made sure that if this was going to be a full term baby.. That I will be as healthy as I can be. I remember having to tell you over the phone that I was pregnant. That I am keeping it and regardless of how you felt.. I wanted to just not go through this empty feeling again. It’s not something that’s unfamiliar, but I’d be damned to feel it. I tried so hard to keep myself safe. I just remember going to see you some time on the 31st.. And you asking me to be your girlfriend.. I thought you were joking. *rolls eyes* I truly wish you were looking back. It was the 31st. New Year’s Eve.. I came by to talk to you about things. To rationalize myself in doing this on my own.. And you said.. Yeah.. Be my girlfriend. *blink* ‘do you wanna be mine?’ I think were your words.. I remember saying.. Something like.. My son is my life and chris is his dad.. But it all stopped because you kissed me. That was it. Sealed everything with a kiss. We officially started dating. I was elated, to be honest. We went to his friend’s house and it was a party.. You introduced me to everyone as, “this is Alex, my girlfriend,” we acted like we were teenagers or something. Careless a bit, too. It was all in fun. I remember when midnight came.. We welcomed the new year together as a couple. With an itty bitty on the way.. Little did I know.. We wouldn’t make it a whole year.. This is my letter to you. You may not even read it. Maybe you will? I really don’t know nor care enough to dwell. I wrote this thinking I would get closure. I still haven’t gotten any. I still have those stale tears on my tank top from when I started this 'letter.’ You taught me that… Even if I did everything right in a relationship. Even with a few fuck ups on the way.. That anyone could leave me. I gave you my heart. Literally, placed it into your hands. And you held it. Crushed it.. Spit on it.. Then decided that when you were all done you could just slowly piece it back together. Possibly with apologies? Or meaningless kisses on my cheeks.. Heartless whispers into my ears. Knowing that I still loved you. Because loving you was a huge feat for me.. I never cared about your past. I worried about our future. Our child and my older son. I wanted to conquer the world with you. Side by side. Like evil villains. We were this fucked up couple that totally got each other, but no one got us. We did stupid things together, and if we were separate.. We could read each other’s minds. It was so liberating I hadn’t had anyone like that in my life.. Ever. No one. I thought that being this duo… This couple.. We could take on the world. Together. Forever. We would sit and look at things and just know what to say.. What you would say.. Or I actually wanted to learn DDR. And to this day I want to. You promised you’d teach me.. I hope you stick around. Mainly for your son. I want you there for me, but that’s just my hope that you would come back. Begging to stay the night with me. To move back 'home’ and to sleep next to you every night… I would be so happy. Happy. I can’t believe you did this to me.. I was whole without you.. I was a complete person before you. And I fell into these.. Sharp jagged pieces of myself! I don’t hate you. I don’t! But I can’t fully trust anyone with my heart. It’s been six months and you have yet to even say something about our relationship, because… It’s who you are! Because I know that stupid conversation by heart. Because we couldn’t be adults about it.. It had to be petty. I think I cried more over you than most know. I’m pretty sure my best friend thinks that I’m hopeless! Yeah, so what? Maybe I am! Maybe.. I’m stupid and told myself that on a day like today he’ll come around and say, 'I’m sorry,’ but 'sorry’ won’t be enough by then.. I really want to be happy. Having a family was my happiness. My goals in life were to have a family whether it be broken or whole.. I just didn’t want it to be without my sidekick. I’m still lost. I wake up in the morning hoping for a text… Or maybe a phone call..? I truly don’t know anymore. All I want right now is to forget this feeling. Because this feeling I have inside me… I wish it was dead. So I never have to feel it again. And I try to not have these feelings. I work rather hard on not feeling them.. I don’t even get it. I just want it to be gone. If I could stop loving you! But every single time I see you. Whether it is a picture.. Text.. Call.. These feelings come back. And in full force. Damn you.