#its fuckigng 2 am

[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

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OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

#list #ocs #egos #ideas #hcs #blu rambles #blus list #its fuckigng 2 am #im sorry if this makes no sense #but here are a fuck ton of lads #and a fuck ton of aus and ideas #if anyone ever wants to ask XP

[dailycu]

a constant state of disbelief that i've gotten this far

#art tag #this is slightly old art but GUESS WHOS GETTING A NEW TABLET THATS EIGHT ITS FUCKIGNG ME #it should be here relatively soon!! within the next 2 days! #me: im gonna answer asks with traditional #me: doesnt do that at all #cu chulainn #fgo #fate stay night #fate series #fate grand order #I APPRECIATE EVERYONE OFFERING TO HELP OUT AND IM SORRY FOR RESPONDING TO A GRAND TOTAL OF NONE OF YOU I AM JUST SO INCREDIBLY SHY

[n0ct0urn1quet]

god i do this all the time where i go to look for a sepcific picture my gf drew and then i scroll through all the images in our dms and i see the pictures of herself she semt me a couple months ago and i just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aougoughugbsajdganjkbhvg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!shes just so pretbby what da hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#im all fucken BLUSHING now god dambit #looks at my gf . stop beingng so pretty i cannot Handle It #i canot Handle The She............. #shes so fuckigng prety im . ! ! !! !! A #my face is all FUCKIGNNG RED NOW !!!!!!!!!!!! diers #*dies #god ur just so fuckigngngnng pretty . ur so prety. so prebby and cute. so fuckigbghghsdfbjhsfnkbjhhg vh ! ! ! ! ! #i am doing a litol hapy stim. am bouncing. i just hjbfgdgbhj!!!!!!!! ur jus so pretty auguhggnhfdkdmg #im lobve u so verey muche... so prebby.... so shaped an cute an prebby..... #ime SORY ik its probllyly weird i keep going back 2 thos pictures even by accident i jus . oughguoghhbjg. ur just ve ry very prebby i think #also seeing thos pictures by accident is nice becuause i forget what ppl look like constnatnly soi can jus look at thos #n be like 'oh yeah thats what she looks like' #but god i just . ur so fuckjigngg beautiful what the HELL #stop being so prebby!!!! i canot handle it!!!!!!!!!!! u ar too prebby an cute ime dyimg!!!!!! a!!!!!!!!!!!

[hyunwoo-archive]

:)

#not 2 like Rant but holy shit #im so behind on all ym schoolwork nd im having a Meltdown #everyday is the due date to something else and i cant ?? i jsut cant get on top of my work #im trying but then something else pops up and i have to focus on that nd then it all just piles on me and im fuckigng #im always at the bottom nd theres this Huge Mountain of work i jsut cant chip away at and im ltirally #so scared im gonna fail the ib and not get the diploma bc my parents are gonna be so disappointed #and im gonna be so angry . bc i spent two years suffering for this fucking diploma and if i dont get it whats the poitn !!!! i might as well #just die then ! ! ! !! #god im literally so stressed its literlaly hitting me how stupid i am like . i was not made 4 education . im literally just so fucking stupi #every time the teachers introduce a new concept i just dont get it bc im so fuckign stupid #godooddghkdj im gonna kms im such a disappointment 2 my family #my parents nd my siblings are out here w like . above average grades #and im here w below average . im ltierlaly :) #anyways im sorry if u read this im just feeling su*c*d*l again #also idk if i'll update this blog for a while i just . i cant ? b on here #like i still lov the monstas nd my mutuals but being on here stresses me out #bc i waste so much rpecious time #i'll probably b back after mocks . yea #idk god i just wanna like d*e kjHFKJ #negative // #suicide ment // #tbd //

[uniformbravo]

reading the hitball arc my brain is picking up so many little bits of info but has no idea how to put them all together to form any kind of coherent analysis (cue me rambling aimlessly as i try 2 find that thesis statement) ((this devolved into garbled passionate yelling real quick))

previously “established” in another “text post” i made “a few months ago”: during the game max is wearing wristbands, one blue and one red, which for the sake of this thought process i take to represent max n johnny respectively

also went over how max switching both wristbands to the same arm post-game ~symbolically~ parallels him & johnny having worked together to defeat hijack & come to understand each other a little better & the bands being on the same arm now represents them being on the same team/side

at one point during the game max gets all shaken up abt having dodged one of hijeff’s earlier attacks instead of like standing his ground i guess?? putting himself before his teammates??? am i interpreting this right i feel like im missing smth

one of the key pieces of the game is the golden switch, a ball that has the power to make anyone hit by it switch teams & join sides with the one who threw it at them. this is the ball used in the final play of the game in which max and johnny work together to take down hijeff for good

in said final play, 1) the golden switch hits max, probably symbolic of smth, & 2) breaks one of his arms, the one w/ the blue wristband- based on the color theory i feel like this should also be symbolic of smth somehow ?? max making a sacrifice in order to become a team w/ johnny?? a self-sacrifice??? is the injury representative of itself???? is it literally just as simple as “max is the one that got hurt so the arm w/ the blue band gets broken” ????? but throughout this entire comic thus far max has been first and foremost his own top priority meaning that he doesn’t do anything for anyone else unless there’s something in it for him, he’s not the type of guy to make sacrifices for other people, or more specifically for “The Greater Good” and, considering how shaken up he got earlier about instinctively jumping out of the way of hijeff’s attack while everyone else jumped right in its path to protect each other, it’s kind of a big deal for him to now be putting himself directly in harm’s way instead of like finagling the situation into making johnny the throwaway instead (esp bc max has every reason to believe johnny deserves to have pain inflicted on him more anyway) so maybe the break represents some kind of shattered mindset that he had to undergo in order to then effectively team up w/ johnny??? which would make the metaphor like

1) max n johnny r Enemies who Fight (wristbands on separate arms) 2) max has the sudden realization that johnny is Upstaging him by Caring About and Defending His Friends & generally being a lot braver than him and that he needs to Step Up His Game in response (arm gets broken) 3) now that max has that new resolve he n johnny join forces & also like understand each other a lil better?? due to working together??? (blue wristband gets moved over to other arm w/ red one bc of the injury)

or something????

srsly tho back to the golden switch & the last play im like?? there HAs to be smth here ok it’s this magical ball that represents switching sides or changing perspective or whatever idk!! & then at the v end of the game it’s like.,., li kE ok hijeff has the ball & he throws it at max: 2 things can happen here, either max gets hit cleanly and has to switch to hijeff’s side, or johnny catches it & the rest of their team gets to come back from the dead, right. as per the rules of the game. OR Lri lieke  like ok hear mee out i mfuCKING liSTEN

hijeff is EXPECTIGN max 2 jump out of the way like he did before right. RIght! but max had that uthfukgning Change Of Heart or whatever where ehs like “o shit johnny is like honorable or whatever & im a coward” so this time he s NOT a coward & he takes the hit & it’s like!! mad character development!! right in this arc ohm y god

but then like therehas to be smth symbolic abt this ball like it has its own goddamn Prop Design it could have just been any plain ass Dogd=ge Ball there didnt even Have to be a golden switch in the first place but THERE IS so it HAS to be important to the stroyr RIGHT it’s njot just a gimmick 2 make the game more interesting rgiht theres SymbolisM AfooT

so theyre usin this SPECIAL ASS BALL right in the END of the Game the CLIMAX if u will & like up until now max & johnny have been having a Couple conversations that arenyt like “gimme ur lunch money” type convos like they usually have, theyre actually lik e Supportin Each Other???? it’s rly good but OK right at the last play is when theyre finally just like it’s Only the two of them left & so they have to do a THing together in order to win like it’s JUST tTHem right!!!

so max devises his Smart Boy Plan & gets hijeff right where he wants him adn!!! the SWITCH that hijeff was like, totally meaning for to hit johnny with,. max stays RIGHT THERE and lets it HIT HIM aND YEA YEA RIGHT WE ON TO SMTHINg irhtgt sO it’s already hit max at this point right so it’s fukiggng like, , it’s like, IF the ball just flies off & hits the wall & the ground then max is FUKCED he has to go over to hijeff’s team but INSTEAdD he  TRUSTS JOHNNY 2 CATCH THE BALL ad johnny is like standing behind him?????? theyr both facing hijeff & max is in ftont so he isnst even LOOKING he just TRUSTS that his plan will work & johnny will HAVE HIS BACK n catch the ball & seal hijeff’s doom imM FUCKIGNG OOOOO BOIYS WE GOT IT WE GFUKINGG HAVE THEHEH

SSO THE BALL IS MAYBE LIKE??? jfuk i mlosing it its juking me oh god oh no but lIKE? it dEFNITELY has smth to do with the ball bein about switchin g sides & max Almost havin to switch sides but then johnny’s like “Not On mY Watch” but then also they kinda switched to each others side and ALSO SALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION ABT HOW JOHNN Y WAS THE ONE WHO THREW THE BALL IN THE 1ST PLACE AT MAX 2 GET HIM TO JOIN HIS TEAM????? max was just FUCKING AROUND in some corner w/ suzy n collin & johnny was like *EYES ZOOM IN* & NAILED HIM W/ IT u can NOT tell me he wasnt aimign for max ok that ball went SCHLOOP right into his head, balls dont just fly around all willy nilly ok u throw a ball in a STRAIGHT LINE & it goes STRAIGHT  & it wasnt bad aim bc johnny was picked to be team leader bc he’s like GOod at shit oK strong boy good at PE he was the other alpha next 2 isabel at the beginning of class he knew EXACTLY where hwas throwin that ball & it was At Max’s Head bc he Knew what he Wanted ok!!!!!! glad that’s cleared up!!!!!!!!!!!

IN CONCLUSIOn max & johnny character development GOOD bye

#i lov e max & johnny leave me in pieces............ #i couldnt even figure out what i was tryin to figure out in this post but does it even matter anymore???? no #the real pnat analysis was the incoherent yelling we made along the way #thnx fr comin 2 my ted talk (uncut ver) #retag later #pn blogging

[chaseprice]

I WAS TAGGED TWICE TO DO THIS THANG (thank you @explosionshark​ and @morhdd​ Answer 11 questions, tag 11 people. write 11 questions for them to answer.

bri’s questions

1. what movies were you obsessed with as a kid?

fuckin. THE IRON GIANT. and pocahontas. 

2. have you ever been able to get over any fears?

yeah. i’ve worked through a lot of fears that were as a result of anxiety in the past couple years. i managed to break off friendships that were detrimental to me; always something i was scared of. i came out. i was scared of that. also i kinda got over my fear of getting injections? (blood getting taken tho - no way.)

3. do you prefer seeing a movie in theaters or watching at home?

mmmm... theaters.

4. what was the first cd you bought for yourself?

bought for Myself? fuck. i used to rent pop party CDs from the library because i thought it was cool at the time? sdfjh

5. what’s your favorite thing about the place you live?

i don’t like a lot about my hometown, but i guess i like that its surrounded by fields and nature. i love where i live the rest of the time because my city has so much going on. especially in the music scene. idk i just love my city

6. what would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow?

have an existential crisis probably?

7. what’s your favorite meal to make?

thai green curry & rice maybe...... 

8. what have you done this year that you’re proud of?

Came Out! Passed All My Exams! Made Cool Friends! Continued To Get Over Bunch Of Anxiety Problems! Embraced My Identity! Got Closer With People! Moved Out (Again)!

9. what are you really looking forward to right now?

FUCKIGNG JULIEn BAKER FUFFFFFF BOTHE RRFFMOF FUCK

also pride. and a bunch of other cool plans for this year

10. what genre of film does your life feel like?

like  a shitty indie film that u absolutely hate the protag of and it just needs to end already adgjgdh

11. what do you wish more people knew about you?

the lengths i’d go to for my friends. (for irl people specifically: how fuckin sad and stupit and angry i get w myself sometimes and that it doesn’t reflect any of my feelings for individual people. also how gay i am)

ramona’s questions  (I Fucked up the formatting here oops sorry)

favorite game you’ve played recently? i’ve been playing stardew valley n thats the only game ive played recently (except the demo for dishonored 2 but my pc doesnt rly like it) and it’s super cute but i got distracted and haven’t got back to it. smh

is there a band/artist/album you’ve been really stuck on lately? YEAH FUCKIN GREAT GRANDPA’S NEW ALBUM (thanks bri) BUT EVEN MORESO: PILLOW QUEENS ???? JUST DISCOVERED THEM THEY’RE SO GOOD i love Rats especially

do you have a favorite show of all time? uhhhhhhh no these questions too hard ramona. probably not. but i do like better call saul it’s okay. every good gay show i enjoy betrays me somehow. like scream and skam. skam didnt neecsarily do anything bad BUT THEY COULDVE BEEN BETTER. GIMME WLW. i was so obsessed with it tho, truly was my fave show ever at  a point

favorite canon fictional couple? oh bb. pricefield

if you could visit anywhere where would you go? fuck this. everywhere. v desp for a US roadtrip when i graduate tho

would you want to stay in the place you’d like to visit? o fuck this. IDKKKK

any particularly embarrassing fandom memories that you’re far enough removed from that you’d admit to? YEAH LIKE EVERYTHING I EVER SAID OR DID IN THE GTA V FANDOM .... I WAS SO WEIRD AND PETTY AND STRAIGHT

top three ships at this moment? chaseprice amberprice emrey (THEY WHO IM THINKIN BOUT RN doesnt mean theyre.... da best)

top three bands at this moment? ok. im gonna make this five and pretend the two bands i mentioned up there ^^ are in the list. these are just recent btw not best ever. JOYCE MANOR bc i was listenin to them a lot before my gig, THE SPOOK SCHOOL !!!!! and idk. perfume genius

i am seriously dying coming up with questions, how are you doing today? i’m okay but i’m too warm here in this stuffy room. how u doing ramona?

YOUR CHOICE YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THIS SPACE I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU’RE GONNA DO GREAT. lgbtQ+ art and music and talent is the BEST and to be CHERISHED AND VALUED for EVER!!!!

AIIIGHTTTT so my 11 questions:

1. what have you been thinking about a lot lately? 2. what was the weather like where you are today? 3. you wanna meet with a close friend to catch up. do you go to a little café during the day and chat, do you go out somewhere at night time to a bar/party, do you go to one of each other’s places and order takeout -- what ideally happens? 4. what’s a really embarrassing childhood memory? 5. when you’re talking with people, what is a topic that will always make you cringe/feel FEAR if someone starts talking about it? 6. if you were to be famous, what would you wanna be famous for? 7. is there somebody you know who was an inspiration to you in any regard, or still is, that doesn’t know about it? if so, who? 8. what thing/s are you looking forward to before the year ends? 9. what do you do at new years? 10. who were the last two bands/singers you listened to, and which would you rather be offered free concert tickets for? 11. what material/texture do you like the feel of most?

i tag. @fortzancudo @drugru @borosouro (liddie if ur readin this i dont kno what ur url is gfhkfd) @sneffing @rachelambr @lesbianmikewheeler @maxcaulfield @gaymermutual @recourse-ao3 @the-insufferable @thestarryskiesofpalaven

#such a damn long ass post sorry

[gayspock]

 dont rb, dont rply

like the Usual shite is constantly there as Background noise w the rampant. feelings of inadequacy and the stupid crying bc i keep. fucking literally EVERYTHING up and the downward spiral has gotten exponentially steep this past year but like. also today ESPECIALLY-ESPECIALLY just to make it hurt worse its like. bbody isues really hard huh i feel really fucking disgusting and. i havent purged in  a while-while but my whole mouth feel. super. super like... sensitive like im hhyperaware! of it and it tastes so revolting and .i got hem GOOSEBUMPS like as GOD tells me to fuckign either 1. throw my fuckig guts up because i feel so so fuckign nasty all over the outside and on the inside or to 2. [redacted bad intrusie thought] which is r eallY LIKE THAT TONIGHT and you Know i wwwwiiiiish it would stop bc im tryig to eep it cool just for oneo sd ngisdngig fucking weekened but nnno its gonna be like th. like this and im gonna start crying like a BITCH soon!!!!!    

& as to not fuckigng split these into . Two posts the . lattr. redacted bad intrusive thouhts thing is like osidm isd m trally going to be like that it wont fucking stop ethe  and its being realy fucking  god i just hatemyself osmuch and it feels os pathetic t o fucking cry about it ALL THE TIME but you know ehn youre JUST KINDA REALLY MAD AND UPSET ALL THE TIME and you just want to fuckign Take yourself an fucking go HAM because i m trying really hard not to do-do anyhtinb but i dont know how else to vent out those fuckign wants that are so d eep i feel myself SHAKING like HUH  GOD HUH  

and fuc k god man fuck again with the me trying to be cool and act normal for one so ppl dont fuckn think ur an annoying freak but tsfd jsdiv jdj shduvij dlvjidzo;vjlz i ffuckngi LOVE the way life fe els like such a wate of time more and more deach day and how theres nothing to live for and i s we ar i keep on fucking searching and trying to find somethign and tis jsut fntohing it feels os fucking worhtlessbothering to drag myself alo ng any more bc im si ck of who i am and i want t js9siog jdogjTO UST .. kill myself sometimes no even to just make it sto p but for the . UH HUH THE shit abve jsut eaitng me alive li ke THE. YOU KNOW [gestures]i wnat to just hurt myself for the sake of it bause i feel so fucking dirty when its NOT happening kinda NONSENSE which is s dramatic and its so embarrassing  it licherally all is its so embarrassing to keep venting my he ad off when i swear im not like tha t but its like just every day a constant fucking pushgjn loser and closer to breaking point and thuisdi lk  i dont want i  dont want iany of it any more i dont see anyhtifidn uvuidfhuo                                  

#egg.txt #apowogies for makin so many wihdsiodfj #vomit mention #i want to remake a vent blog again but those nevewefosdnx EGET anywhere thy just make it worse #lik it all. kind of jst does #& i dont want to put. the really bad shite down on here eiher even tho i f eel like its soo b #suicide mention #self harm mention

[lonelyheartsclub1776]

im making Crackhead Mooves herse the fuckigng schoop oh my god so i am. going to visit my girlfriend bc a bunch of my backlogged paychecks came in and im going to be Opulence for approx 2 seconds before i spend it all. so like. this is like. insane. i feel like im insane this is BONKERS like wtf am i doing IM ABT TO GET ON A WHOLE ASS PLANE??/ wtf. and katya (KATYA) is gonna be doing a show close to where she is Located so like. its on the night i was supposed to bounce so NOW im gonna book a fucking red eye flight bc i wanna see My Woman and its going to be so inconvenient and im going to cry on the subway with my Big Suitcase being lugged around and did i mention i will cry like. this is boston 2.0 the sequel but will be done while Missing Jupiter and carrying 2x the shit. what the fuck am i doing. 

#mercury #i feel like this is my gone girl breakdown #like. friends now is the time to Check On Me im acting OUT OF POCKET

[n0ct0urn1quet]

its hadrd to write sappy shit while listening to super energetic fast music but i suppose ill try my best BHJSNDSJKFBJHA @fuckshitassbitchcockballs

#god deltarune chapter 2's music fuckigng slaps ok #ASLSO i should probably say this rly quick. whnen iwas telling u goodnight earlier i almost #i almost typed 'my love' instead of 'my hunibie' #LIKE #???????????? #i almost typed 'goodnight. i love u my love' ??????????????? #I MEAN I DONT MIND CALLING U MY LOVE OR JUST LOVE IF U WANT ME TOO ??? ?? ?? ?? BUT DJHFJFKJKFNJKFBHJFHBFHJ #god. sry. i have just been so very gay for u lately #I MEAN I AM ALWAYS GAY FOR U AND IVE BEEN GAY FOR U FOR LIKE 3 YEARS AND A COUPLE MONTHS NOW #BUT LIKEDFDFJKNJKFDNJKFDNJFKD #ive just been extra gay bestie . its tha hormones <3333333 #jk no its not im just so very in love with u #bestie ik im not good at showing it soetimes but ! i am incredibly gay for u and u make me oh so haby #i just bhfgjbbjh!!!!!!! i care u :) #i lov and i care u :) #i jus love . everythinge about u. i lov ur voice and ur face and ur art and fbghjgfjnhgfjhbhfg jus everything #I AM SOrry for getting increasingly sappy in these gayposts i just have so many thoughts about youuuuuuu #bestie u ar on my mind like 24/7. i am never no thoughts head empty i am just Always thinkging about u (the she) #listen i live a very very boring life and u jus. u make things a lil less boring yk?? #u make my life pog #and i just bghbhjgjbhgfjhbgfhjgf #like not to be super gay or anything but im glad that ur the person i get to spend the rest of my life with #like !!!!!!!! idk i just . i like being around u #not physically (yet) ((cause yknow ur not here)) (((y e t))) but like. idk bhjgfgbhjhbjgbhfjbhggjbh #u jus make me feel safe n comforble and ik that i can like . jus be myself around u without bein judged #also can i just say that im listening to music very loudly rn . like wow thi s is rly loud its hard to hear myself think over this stuff #BUT THIS MUSIC SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPS I DONT WANAN TURN IT DOWN fuck >:( #ANYWAYS . sry my brain is doing things #anyways #u jus t make me rly rly habbie hunby. and can i jus say i love that we've started calling each other stuff like that now BSHJBSDJHBDJHA

[n0ct0urn1quet]

hmmmmmmmm trying to gaypost while mom and her shithead bf are arguing in the other room and im sitting here nervous af isnt easy but i will try anyways

#yes they havent shut up since i told u they were fighting like a n hour or two ago #sry bestie they r just hating eachother (and me) rn <333333 #honestly i Want To Cry but MOVING ON #i wana . squishe ur thighs maybe #also u just fuckigng called me hunby and i dont know if that was a typo or not but oh my god . pls keep calling me that its rly cute acutal #I MEAn it was probably a typo but um #still #hunby....................... #aughghg i lvo that. #ty bestie for acutally makging me smile even if that was jus a typo BHSDJJHBDSBJHJHGNGJHG #ok anwyays moving on #i wana squishe ur thighs and maybe lay on them #or lay on ur chest id like to do that too maybe #itd be comfye #idk mayb i could lay on ur chest and cry or smth idk sry 2 be sad all of a sudden i am jutst nervouse cause yellign #but um yea i would like to maybe lay with u #and sleeb #bc i have been So Mentally Tired all day #ok sry i kneed 2 stop being bitchy i am trying to be whoelesome it is just hard <3 #i wante u to holde me maybe or something idk <3 #jus maybe hold me n softlye kis me and maybe jus hold me close to u or something idk hghggbhhghbghg #jus hold me bro <3 playe with my hair n kis me gemntly i do not have any energy rn and i am feelling unwell <3 #mom n russ wont shut the fuck up bestie #sry for beigngng in a shit mood ik we were jus talkging abt wholeosme things i ju s didnt wana ruin the mood yk bSDHJJBSHDbjhghjngg #just hgbhfghfg. holde me pls #gimme somfte kis #and hug #and snuggle #hhhgbfg :(