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plutoisaplanet16 · 4 years

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21 Reasons to Love Someone

(Damien Haas x reader)

#1. Their Smile

Word count: 1,644

Warnings: none (SFW)

Buy me a coffee

Two words: Defy Media.

At first excitement coursed Damien’s being as he thought about the prospect of having a job where he could sit around and play games all day. However, it did not take him long to feel the same way everybody else in the office did. You knew the pressure took a toll on him when the first thing he did after work was sleep. Damien’s personality shined through on camera, but being the entertaining ball of sunshine for so many videos each day overwhelmed him. When he came home he would say a mindless “hello y/n” and perhaps jokingly say “hello my baby geese” to Freyja and Zelda, but after that he would close the door to the bedroom and plop down on the bed. Sometimes he wouldn’t even bother to take his shoes off. Usually you would just leave him alone for a couple hours until you finished making dinner or the postmate had arrived.

“How was work?” you would ask as you handed him his meal.

He would always tell you, “It was good, but I won’t go into detail. Too much happened today; I’ll probably miss something if I try to tell you.”

Damien would always laugh it off and pretend like it was nothing, but you knew better than to buy into his nightly act. After nearly a year and half of dating, you knew what Damien did when something bothered him. Comedy was his coping mechanism, but after the bright laughter ceased, his face fell into a blank expression: the sparkle in his eyes dulled, his normally rosy complexion seemingly drained in an instant, and lastly, silence filled the room. It was quite frankly the most bizarre phenomenon to behold. All you wanted to do was grab his soft face and kiss his forehead to try and convince him that everything would work out, but this wasn’t a fanfiction or a cheesy romantic comedy. People are more complicated than that.

So that’s how you ended up awake at 3:17 a.m. scouring the internet for Harry Potter house robe cat costumes. Your dry eyes and blurry vision did not deter you from finding that one Esty shop that would grant you wish. Was each costume going to be $45 plus shipping? Yes. But did that stop you? No. This was a mission of love, and for Damien, you would go any distance to see that adorable goober genuinely smile.You were just about to place the order when Damien’s arm pulled you closer into his chest as he looked over your shoulder. Without thinking, you stupidly threw your phone across the room. Luckily it landed in a soft, plushy chair in the corner of the room.

“Y/n, what was that about?” Damien shook his head.

You struggled to find an answer, “Um...uh...”

“Do I even want to know?” he chuckled, “As long as it’s not Tinder I don’t care enough to lose any more sleep.”

“I would never cheat on you!” you exclaimed.

He sleepily mumbled, “I know. I’m too sexy.”

You laughed to yourself as you left the bed to go retrieve your hopefully-not-cracked-phone. You quickly placed the order and crawled back into bed. It was rare that Damien ever complimented himself like that. It reminded you of the Damien you knew before Defy... the Damien who ruffled his hair and smoldered at the camera for a selfie. It was so nice to hear Damien still have his moments of confidence. It gave you hope that your plan would actually work.

5:15 pm. It was almost time.

You had just finished making dinner, and you rushed to set the table neatly. To be honest, what you made shouldn’t even really be considered dinner because it was more or less a buffet of different movie food such as: M&Ms, twizzlers, chips and homemade dip, tiny sandwiches, and of course popcorn. You arranged them into a deliciously looking spread in the finest plastic bowls the dollar store had to offer. (Neither one of you would really want to do dishes anyway.) Once it looked perfect you turned towards the living room to hunt down Freyja and Zelda. You had the costumes neatly folded on the top of the grey, cloth couch. Luckily Freyja was napping on the cushion below them; you petted her gently and unfolded her Ravenclaw house robes. She yawned and stretched right as you were about to wake her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she sniffed the robe. Freyja backed away and her big, glossy eyes moved back and forth between you and the costume.

“It’s for Daddy, okay? Work with me here, please Freyja.”

She meowed back like she understood, and from then on she was compliant. Next, you had to hunt down Zelda. It honestly amazed you how well that chonky cat could hide. You called out her name for what felt like forever until you yelled that Damien would be home soon. A small meow came from underneath the couch.

“Just what am I to you guys?”

Zelda came out and before she even knew what was happening, you squeezed her into her Hufflepuff robes, “Finally.”

Everything was almost perfect; the last thing you had to do was put on your own house robes and get all eight Harry Potter movies out of storage. Sure you would never be able to finish them all in one night, but both of you would give it a valiant attempt. Digging the movies out of the bin would prove to be a challenge because both of you were giant nerds that for some reason decided to just throw all your nerdiness into several boxes and NOT label them. In the fourth of six boxes is where you found the first three movies, and the rest were at the bottom of the fifth box. You decided that after all this was over you and Damien were sure to be doing some serious decluttering for the next week or so. Meanwhile, you had to go light some spooky looking candles, somehow avoid going ahead and digging into the scrumptious food, and put the first DVD in the console.

As the first movie finally loaded, Damien unlocked the door and walked in, “It smells like a theatre in here. What happ-”

He stopped dead in his tracks when saw you with the Sorting Hat on your head and your Harry Potter robes. His face was full of wonder and confusion as he took a couple seconds to slowly look around and examine his surroundings. He giggled at the spooky yet romantic lighting as well as Hedwig’s Theme rattling the walls of the apartment. You hoped you two wouldn’t get noise complaints...again. Damien walked closer towards you, but soon Freyja and Zelda ambushed him by rubbing themselves up against his legs.

He looked down in disbelief, “Freyja...Zelda? Y/n?”

“I’m glad you know all our names,” you teased.

“What is all this? Their costumes? The candles? The food? Harry Potter?” he sat down on the floor next to you.

“Listen Damien, I know something has been up with you these past couple of weeks. I know you love Smosh and your job, and it doesn’t make sense to me why you would be hiding how you really feel from me,” you said.

“Y/n,” he sighed, “It’s complicated, okay? Half the time I don’t even know what’s going through my head when it comes to talking about my day. You are right. I love my job, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. However, I’m having a tough time right now. There are a lot of videos we film in one day, and for someone like me it can easily become too much. The biggest issue is our parent company itself never listening to us; it is so frustrating. I don’t like spreading that kind of negativity so I shove it away, but it seems it has still affected you. It’s hard for me to talk about, and honestly, I just want to figure it out on my own. I don't want to bring you down with me.”

You were kind of hurt that he didn’t feel comfortable telling you everything but you had to respect him, “It’s okay Damien. I won’t push you, but please let me in on some things. I hate sitting here watching you be miserable not being able do a single thing about it. I want to help you, and that’s why I did all this. Sometimes you walk in here, and it’s like I don’t even know who I am looking at. I believe you will find your footing at Smosh, and everyone will soon adore you. I know it didn’t take me long to fall in love with you.”

Damien blushed, “Oh really?”

He smiled. He actually smiled. It was a complete 100% authentic goofy Damien smile that spread from ear to ear. He felt happiness deep down inside because of you, and that is all you could ever ask for. Being the ooey-gooey romantic person you are, you threw yourself onto him and gave him a big kiss on the forehead. No, that kiss wouldn’t really fix much, but it made both of your hearts melt. When you pulled away you looked at his face again; he was still smiling, but it wasn’t the same as it was a moment ago. Instead of bright and bubbly, it was a small adoring grin. His eyes bore into yours, and it was like everything else around you two disappeared.

“Y/n?” he asked.

You answered, “Yes?”

He pulled you into his chest and tightly wrapped his arms around you. His soft heartbeat became like white nose to you, “How come you fell in love with me so fast?”

You pulled away from him and kissed his lips, “How could I not with that smile of yours?”

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Hello! This is my first Smosh fanfiction I have ever wrote. I’m not new to the fanfiction writing world. I’ve had two wattpad accounts and even wrote on a BTS fan app for a while. I dropped this hobby of mine to focus on my senior year of high school. Recently though I have come back to writing due to being stuck in the house and my school year being pretty much over. I decided to start this prompt series because I was bored and itching to write something again. I hope you all have enjoyed this short imagine. It is part one of a twenty-one part prompt list that I have made up myself.

This specific list will, for now, only include past and present Smosh members, but if you would like to see any of these prompts for other fictional characters or real people please let me know in my inbox! I have no requests, and I would certainly love some. Thank you all for reading this!

#smosh #smosh pit #smosh damien #smosh games #harry potter #damien haas #damien #fanfic #fanfiction #damien haas x reader #smosh fanfic #smosh fandom #smosh fanfiction #smosh games fanfic #smosh games x reader #smosh games fanfiction #damien haas fanfic #Damien haas fanfiction

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leaflovescloud · 3 years

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Late night thoughts

Hi there, my safe space.

I’m actually a little tired right now, after a long day at work, not sure if I was being 100% productive, but I guess it’s not too bad. I guess nature cereal really helps.

I just want to spend some time with myself, in this safe space. I guess being able to rely on this safe space kind of gave me some form of relieves as well. Like it is the only space where I can air out my thoughts without being judged, without any defensive reply, without having to be hurt / vulnerable.

Other than relationship, I think I’m also seriously worrying about my future. I guess I really just don’t know if law is for me. I do enjoy doing it, sometimes I guess. But I really don’t see myself doing it every single day for the next few years, I know I will be worn out for sure. The amount of dedication and attention that I have to commit, it’s tiring. And I’m not sure if I would like try out in house either.

Que sera sera.

I will just listen to the universe, follow where it leads me. Sounds very submissive huh? Because I really don’t know what I should do.

Maybe I should start by exploring my interest, then I realized I have none LOL. I’m just a really boring person, I guess.

And one thing I find it a little unhealthy is that - I pretty much find my value through working harder and performing well. Not sure if I should put such heavy reliance on it but that’s what it is at this point.

So say if one day I’m not working anymore, it is very likely that I may think that I’m unworthy and of no value, which I really don’t think I should have this kind of mindset.

With that being said, I really hope I can find my worth, not only through work, but also from the within, I want to be able to love myself, like every single part of myself. Also, I wish I could be more confident in time to come, which I find myself slowly improving. I started to voice it out more, share my thought even though there is a chance that I’m wrong. But it doesn’t matter even if I am, it actually makes me learn better as well.

Speaking about work, I’m really worried about cash flow as well. At least I really don’t want to be in a situation where I chew more than I can bite. I know with the upcoming liabilities / burden in my new studio and car, it’s gonna cost me a chunk of cash. For this, I really wish I can be more mindful in my spending and money would find its way to me. I guess I need to do some planning, but I have no one to go to.

And yeah, sometimes I wish I’m born in a wealthy household, with a silver spoon and clothe with privilege. But I guess I’m not complaining as well, the fact that I’m not. I’m forever grateful for what I have, I know it must be very hard for my parents to raise both of my sister and I. They literally started from zero and no matter how hard the situation is, they tried their best to support us. At least for my time, I think I was a bit fortunate as my parents had one less burden of their shoulder, when my sister graduated university.

I had the opportunity to travel overseas with them. We have been to Taiwan, Shanghai and Eastern Europe. All these, are not something that had ever appeared in my mind before because I simply knew we are not going to afford it. More so, my mum being so tight on her own finances, actually paid for my trip to New Zealand, just to make sure that I will be happy.

Sure, in many aspects, they are not the best parents ever. But I simply do not blame them. They didn’t have the opportunity to experience different cultures where their mindset are pretty much still in the 80s. And that’s okay. Deep inside, I just know they love me very much even though it may not be that form of love that I’m seeking for. But I just understand, I just understand.

All I’m asking for is for both of them to be healthy and happy. To be at least contented with their life, to be able to live together peacefully. It has been a long way.

For me myself, I see myself growing up as well. I’m already 26 years old this year. Time indeed flies. I have learned a lot, in terms of work, life and relationship.

For work, I don’t know, I feel like at this point, I’m just fortunate because I don’t have to work for certain people. The challenges will come when I am to work for those people again. I really don’t like when I’m being bullied by them. Because this toxicity at work place simply should not exist and should not be condoned. But things got a little bit out of control because nobody is doing something. Anyways, the way they handle things or even treat their colleagues / staff just say so much about them. And I vowed not to follow their footsteps and I aspired to make a change about it. Perhaps my vision may not overcome it all, certainly, some people will take advantage, but at the very least, I wish to create a comfortable working environment to all, where everyone is treated with respect. We are now in 21st century, superiority should not be an excuse to torture your co-worker. We should have similar goals, which is to act in the best interest of our company and to get things done. I’m really manifesting this with the hope to make a change. And I hope the universe will lead me to where I belong.

For life / relationship. Sure, I’m undergoing some difficulties right now. Not sure if the situation is worsen because of the MCO, but yeah, things have been difficult. But I guess at the same time I am also just trying to work on myself, and be more understanding. At this point, I’m just holding on, but again, I don’t see myself with this person in the future. There is just this thing where I just don’t, feel it and see it. The level of comfort is not there anymore. Every time I am just thinking “Am I doing this right?” “Am I saying the right thing?”. Essentially, I’m just not myself anymore.

Whatever I do, for example like being a little ‘manja’ just made me feel unnecessary, because I’m not sure what is the receiving end thinking. This is really bad LOL. I guess that’s why, I just don’t do anything anymore, because it’s not that what I do is what he needs anyway. My way of expressing love is simply not what he needs.

And if i were to put myself in his position, I would be struggling as well. Because not able to get your desire fulfilled and basically not able to be contented emotionally. I didn’t realize how these factors play a huge role in a relationship, but now I do and I accept it.

And I said many times, I used to think love overcomes it all, but it simply doesn’t. There are just too many factors that play a huge role as well and it’s not for me to overlook it. I was too simplistic, certainly. I would like to work on myself , but unfortunately, not with Chris. He deserves better. I don’t think at my level I will be able to fulfill what he wants.

The day is getting closer. Slowly, it will be the end of July and it will be time for me to bid goodbye to all these.

I guess quite apart from what I have with Chris, it’s a bit difficult to just leave his parents and brother. They have been quite a part of our relationship where they genuinely treat me like their own daughter. More importantly, they were there for me during my lowest time. It’s just difficult, because I will forever owe them. And I am really unsure of how I’m going to repay them.

Dear Universe, I leave it to you. If you do think we are a good fit for each other, I believe you will do your magic and lead us to the right path.

Let’s talk about my mental health.

Quite apart from relationship issues, I think I have been healing quite effectively. Honestly, I didn’t think I will be able to leave all those memories behind so quickly. I guess in a way, going back to the office did speed up the process. Even though I went back to the office for different reasons which I shall not dwell on that. Right now, I’m able to think of the incident with a rather calm and accepting mind, and focusing on the positive side of things, i.e. I am still alive, I am healthy, I am able to move around and walk again etc. I guess in this sense, I’m truly grateful because I simply can’t imagine if things go otherwise. For this, I would like to believe that the universe is trying to convey a message to me. Of course, what the message is, it depends on what I have deciphered. May be it’s one of those things:

(i) Life is short, very short. Live your live and don’t ever do things that you will regret one day.

(ii) Live everyday as if it is your last. Cliche as it sounds, but for far too many times, I just thought, ‘What if it took my life that night?’

(iii) Be cheerful and live life with a purpose.

(iv) Be strong and protect yourself.

(v) To express your love, not in the way best suited myself, but also to understand from the other side, what do they need.

(vi) What I think it’s okay may not be okay for the other person.

Oh ya, I thought of another issue - me being emotional unavailable. I’m not sure its actual definition in real life but I guess I fit most of the criteria, i.e. being evasive and have the tendency to run away from problems.

I guess my old defence mechanism works when I’m single, but surely it doesn’t work when I have another person to account to as well. I used to just shut down, and it helps and it works because in any event, it won’t cast any effect on third parties.

And perhaps, I should not have the unrealistic expectations that someone, especially my boyfriend should always be responsible of my own emotion. That would lead to co-dependent relationship, which is unhealthy.

Probably there are still a few more, but for the purposes of tonight, that should be it. And I feel so much better, like, I feel nice doing it especially before sleeping. It’s like a mind decluttering exercise. And I feel peaceful. A little bit contented.

Lastly, I pray that this covid situation will be better soon, please.

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nutellaoutofthejarwithaspoon · 7 years

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Decluttering

I recently read/became obsessed with Marie Kondo’s book, The Japanese Art of Tidying up. In a nutshell, it basically tells you how to declutter your home and and keep it decluttered. My saint of a husband took my two kids to the waterpark for the weekend and I stayed home and went though every drawer and cabinet in my house. As I was deciding what to throw out and what to keep, I kept noticing a theme when sorting through the hundreds of art masterpieces that my kids have made over the years. Almost every piece of paper that my five year old daughter drew on had “I love mom” written on it somewhere. Some had it written boldly across the center of the page and some had it in teeny tiny letters that could almost go unnoticed. But “I love mom” was everywhere. How had I not noticed this before?

A few days later when my kids got back from their waterpark weekend, I found myself face to face with my three year old son while I was sitting on the toilet. He came right into my bathroom even though I left him downstairs with a brand new episode of Blaze. I very sternly told him to leave and screamed something along the lines of “Can I ever just get one minute to poop in private?” And instead of leaving, he wrapped his arms around me and gave me the world’s biggest hug and said “I don’t mind that you’re pooping, I just want you”.

And that’s when it really sunk in. Can you imagine loving someone so much that you literally want to be on top of them while they are mid-poop? Seriously. So gross but that’s some amazing love right there. And then there’s the art from my daughter. How many artists have dedicated entire collections to you? Well, it’s a first for me. I can honestly say that I have never been loved with this kind of intensity before.

And it feels absolutely incredible.

But you know how sometimes in life you can experience something amazing but you don’t necessarily know that it’s so amazing in the moment? Often this happens to me with travel, for example. I have a good time but it’s not until I look back at photos and retell stories, do I really realize how great it was. Well, with this stage of parenting, I am absolutely 100% completely aware of it. I feel their love in every inch of my body. Their insatiable curiosity and excitement for life fills me up with the kind of joy I have never experienced before. Each day I anxiously wait to hear what is going to come out of their mouths. Their observations and thoughts on even the most simple things make me smile and laugh louder than ever before. I am fully aware that these little moments I am currently experiencing will be the memories I longingly look back on and wish I could re-live. But I am also hyper aware that this delirious state of love might disappear at any moment. I know enough teenage girls to know that “I love mom” will soon be replaced with “I love Billy” or even worse “I hate mom”. And I’ve got a really short window until these toilet snuggles are just something I use to blackmail my son with.

I often write here about how I couldn’t stand it when old ladies at Target would tell me to “enjoy every moment” with my babies. I hated it because that baby/toddler stage of parenting was killer for me. And instead of accepting that, I berated myself for it, convincing myself that I was a bad mom for not appreciating every moment. For whatever reason (probably because I had a baby that didn’t sleep for two years), those years weren’t my cup of tea. I mean, I loved my babies with every single ounce of my being, but I would have pressed fast-forward if ever given the chance. But I don’t feel guilty about it anymore. Not for one second. That doesn’t define me as a mother. Because right now all I want to do is hit “pause”. I would hit that “pause” button so hard and stay in this moment in time for the rest of my life if I could. And I’ve got to be doing something right, given all the artwork and poop-hugs, right? All this decluterring of stuff made me realize that what I really need to declutter are the negative thoughts I have in my head about how I’m doing as a parent. Us moms are always scolding ourselves for things we could be doing better or comparing ourselves to other moms who appear to be doing everything better. But it’s all clutter. Clutter that’s preventing you from seeing all the amazingness that your children see in you.

And so as I sit here on the eve of my daughter’s sixth birthday, I am excited for what the future will hold. There’s a good chance it might be filled with bratty, rebellious and resentful teenagers and that stage might not be my cup of tea either. But at least I’ll know that it’s just that….a stage. And hopefully what’s on the other end of that stage is something even more spectacular than what I’m experiencing now. But, man, is it going to be a doozy to beat.

***** Important Note: All of their deliciousness and wonderfullness disappears when the two of them are in the same room together. One on one, they are both angels and model citizens. When together, they turn into wild animals that conspire to make me go insane…or at least never take them out to eat in public. Just wanted to make sure I made this clear so nobody thinks it’s all rainbows and butterflies over here. *****

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