#damien haas fanfic

[knollridge]

Last Saturday

Smosh

Damien x Reader

1,090 wordcount

No warnings, just more Smoffice™ fluff

Last Damien fic! This was def an extended quarantine project for me and I had a lot of fun trying something new :) I more than appreciate all the love I’ve gotten in likes, reblogs, comments, and asks! Perhaps I’ll be back in the future with a different person. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!!!!

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Damien eyes you up and down with amusement as you work at your desk, your foot bouncing along to your “Get Sh!t Done” playlist while you try to concentrate on the screen in front of you. Your hand idly taps a pencil to the beat and your head begins to bop along to the music starting to take over your thoughts.

Nothing would have been able to throw off your groove until you met Damien’s gaze. Your mini jam session slows to a halt as you look up, finding a wide smile and eyes that - while encouraging you to go on - made you self-conscious enough to stop. It wasn’t any easier having a hot guy stare at you, even if he was your boyfriend.

“Aw, why’d you stop?” Damien asks gently with a hint of mischief in his tone. “A few more songs and I think you would have been dancing like you did on Saturday.” He nonchalantly takes leave from his desk and gives you a quick peck on the forehead before slipping behind you to grab a cup of coffee. The feeling from his words and his lips on your temple leaves your cheeks blushed and your body warm. Thank goodness no one else is in here right now.

“You know what, regardless of what I did or did not do on Saturday, I don’t think you should be proclaiming that around the office” you retort, in only the smallest of annoyances. It was rare that either of you went out, much less stayed out, to party - but Courtney’s birthday was a special exception. And maybe things got a little more exciting than you cared to remember...but that doesn’t mean he gets to say anything about it. “Besides,” you calmly posit under a small smile, “I think I can recall a certain someone moving like a mid-40s, suburban father of three on the dance floor and crashing like one when we got home ‘cause he can’t handle his liquooorrr.” Your sing-songy teasing causes a tinge of red to appear under Damien’s collar as he rolls his eyes.

“Agghh alright true,” he concedes with a smile as he pulls up behind you with one hand on your shoulder. “Buuuut,” he continues while lowering his face to speak softly into your ear, “as much as I’m hearing you loved my dancing, I can bet you I definitely loved your moves more.” His entire presence seems to be whisked away as his voice and touch leave you, sitting back down at his desk and giving you a wink that makes you want to melt before diving right back into his work. Well somebody’s in a rare mood today...I’m not complaining...there’s just no way I’ll be able to get anything done now...

You fidget with your pencil and try your hardest to focus on editing. With nothing nearly as inspiring hitting you as hard as Damien’s comment, you decide to take a quick break to regain your headspace.

“I think I’m gonna go get a snack from the other room, do you want anything?” you ask him as you stand up to leave.

“I’ll actually be there in a bit cause I need to grab some stuff, so I can get it myself. But thanks, I’ll be right behind you.” He smiles at you brightly and you nod in response before teasing him more.

“Ugh, why you so obsessed with me?” you ask with a dramatic eye roll and a playful smile. You can hear him pity laugh at your half-joke as you walk down the hall to the other room.

Relieved at the chance to take a break and regroup, you begin to peruse your food options while the song playing in your earbuds from before makes its way back into your consciousness. Moving a bit to the music you take your pick of what’s left on the breakfast table, making sure to mind your head of the cabinets above you. And as promised, Damien strolls in almost immediately with a packet of papers in hand.

“Oh my god, Damien! How long has it been, I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” You flash a huge smile that nearly covers the trespass of that worn joke. Damien, thankfully in his good graces, replies accordingly.

“Oh my god (y/n)! I think it’s been the longest, barely 2 minutes of my life!” You both give each other tired smirks and you marvel at how hard he works on his comedy (and is genuinely the funniest person you know) and yet still indulges your lowbrow antics. “I finally finished my notes on this script so it’s time to crack open a cold one!” he says as he makes his way over to where you are.

“Good on you babe” you reply with general contentment that he remains so hot and so diligent. Still feeling the music flow through you and focused on which doughnut to get, you barely notice Damien’s muscular arm reaching over your head until you feel him tightly pressed right up behind your bent posture.

“Sorry babe it’s a bit of a squeeze, I just need to get into this cabinet....you don’t have to stop doing what you’re doing though.” The drop in his voice causes a brief horror to cross your face as you finally realize why this positioning felt so familiar:

Saturday.

The fear of anyone else in the office witnessing more than they did on that night jerks you upright, sending your head crashing into the cabinet above. Your body moves backwards in response to the blow, taking Damien down too, as you fall into him and he collapses on to the chair that forced the tight space in the first place. Holding your head, you find yourself sat on his lap with him grasping your waist, catching you. “Oh my gosh babe, are you okay???” The concern in his voice is matched with his hands turning you around, steadying you with one and gingerly feeling your forehead and scalp with the other.

“Goddamn….yeah, I’m fine” you sigh into a small chuckle as you struggle a bit to find your footing. Damien laughs with you and (and a little bit at you) but doesn’t let go and makes sure to watch your balance. You reassure him with a smile and he walks with his arm around you back to your desks.

Before you bite into your doughnut and resume work Damien quips, “Juuust like Saturday, huh babe?”

“Yeah,” you laugh, “just like Saturday.”

#damien haas #damien haas fanfic #damien haas fic #damien x reader #damien haas x reader #smosh damien #damien smosh #damien haas fluff fic #damien haas fluff #damien haas smosh #smoffice #smoffice fluff fic #smoffice fluff romance #smosh fluff #smosh games damien

[vc55bughead]

you're welcome smoshblr 🫡

#amanda lehan canto #courtney miller #shayne topp #chanse mccrary #spencer agnew #ian hecox #angela giarratana #damien haas #anthony padilla #smosh #smosh pit #smosh pit theater #smoshblr #fanfic #smosh fanfiction #who meme'd it

[sage-lights]

my comfort channels for when i'm in need of a little (a lot) of escapism 💗🫡

#i don't think it'd be an exaggeration to say smosh has saved my life #here's to some of the best sillies on the internet! #smosh games #smosh pit #smosh mouth #amanda lehan canto #angela giarratana #shayne topp #courtney miller #chanse mccrary #arasha lalani #ian hecox #anthony padilla #damien haas #spencer agnew #tommy bowe #trevor evarts #keith leak jr #smoshblr #smosh edit #(also i know i promised a shourtney edit and this isn't that but trust it's on it's way!) (and same with the fanfic requests in my inbox!!!

[hayleythesugarbowl]

please an ian hecox x reader fic i need🥺 maybe like a first date or something like that there’s just not enough Ian fics

First Fake Date || Ian Hecox x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ summary: oneshot where Ian finds out his ex-girlfriend is going to be at an upcoming event and when you volunteer to go as his fake-date things don’t go quite as either of you planned.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none

a/n: thanks for the request babes!! I agree we need more ian x reader fics, i hope you enjoy this one!! i kept the first date theme but i took some liberties and i made the reader female so i hope this is what you wanted <3🍒🪩

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     “Alright the event this Friday, what’s everyone wearing?” Courtney said, putting her legs up on the table in front of her.  

    You were lounging around the studio with almost the entire Smosh cast in between shoots. 

    “Exactly what I’m wearing right now?” Angela lifted her head from Amanda’s lap and gestured to her sweatshirt.

     “Very funny,” Courtney said.

     “Honestly same,” Shayne agreed, looking up from his phone.

     Courtney shot him a look but secretly you agreed with him. It wasn’t that you didn’t care about the YouTube event Smosh was going to, it was just that you weren’t exactly excited about it. You kind of had a history of embarrassing yourself at things like this. Like last month when you tripped in your impossibly tall heels and landed in the lap of a very unhappy old man. In his defense, you had spilled wine down the front of his dress shirt.

     “As long as there’re no heels involved, I don’t really care what it is,” You said.

     “You people have no sense of style,” Courtney faked disgust. 

     “Speak for yourselves, this chain begs to differ,” Ian walked into the room, pretending to model the outfit he was wearing.

     “He wears one chain and suddenly it’s ‘his brand’,” Amanda joked.

     “Hey laugh all you want, but this thing’s a magnet for the ladies.”

     Everyone burst out laughing and Ian mocked offense.

     “Well I for one think you look great,” you smiled at him and he beamed back at you.

     “Besides,” he continued, “I have to look good ‘cause my ex-girlfriend is going to be at the event this Friday. I bet she’s bringing that perfect boyfriend of her’s too who ‘has a real, important job’.”

     “Wait, the same girlfriend who broke up with you at the last event?” Damien asked.

     You hadn’t been at Smosh yet then, but you’d heard the story multiple times.

     “That’s the one. And now I get to show up a year later, still without a date.”

     “If only you had a girlfriend you could bring, but oh wait, that’s right—” Shayne teased.

     “That’s right,” Ian agreed

     “I’ll be your date,” you burst out.

     You didn’t know what made you say it. Maybe you sympathized with having embarrassing moments at classy gatherings. Maybe you just felt like helping your boss out. Or maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you may or may not have had a tiny crush on Ian when you first started working at Smosh. 

     But that was a long time ago…ok maybe months ago, and something you’d never admit aloud. You were just offering to help out a friend. Right?

     “Really? You’d do that for me?” Ian asked you.

     “Sure! No one has to know it’s our first date—or not-first-date. We can tell your ex we’ve been dating for months.”

    “That actually might work,” Ian grinned at you. 

    “Ooh, I can pick out matching outfits for you guys!” Courtney interjected.

     “No,” you both said in unison.

     “Well, I’ll pick you up on Friday at 8:00 for our not-first-date,” Ian looked at you, his eyes gleaming.

     “See you then,” you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

     “Actually you guys will see each other in like 45 minutes for TNTL,” Amanda said.

     “Right.” You said.

     After this Ian left the room and you turned back to your friends who were all looking at you as if they knew something you didn’t.

     You took in their scheming stares. “What?”

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

     The rest of the week passed fairly quickly with no more talk of the event except for Ian asking your advice on what to wear—which everyone seemed to think so adorable for reasons you couldn’t understand or just refused to entertain. 

     And suddenly, just like that it was Friday and you were answering your door to a nervous-looking Ian holding out flowers to you.

     “Since it’s our ‘first date’,” he winked at you and you rolled your eyes at him, a smile blooming on your face, “I thought I’d bring you these.”

     “Thank you,” you said, “and you look great!”

     And he did. His maroon suit fit him perfectly and you couldn’t help but notice that it did end up matching the light pink dress with a crimson belt you chose.

     “And you look…wow.” He admired you and it took all of you not to blush at his words.

     He took you to his car, and insisted on opening your door for you since it was a ‘first date’. You looked over at Ian from the passenger seat and thought how you were surprised at how much of a gentleman he could be. Your goofy, laid-back boss definitely had a romantic side and would make some girl very happy someday, you thought.

    By the time you arrived at the event, you and Ian had barely said a word to each other. Which was odd, to say the least, seeing as you never really felt awkward around him or anybody at Smosh.

     “You ready for this?” Ian asked you as you stepped out of the car and headed toward the building the event was held at.

     You answered by taking his hand in yours and smiling up at him.

     You walked into the venue together and took in the layout. A makeshift stage had been set up for guest speakers at one end and as for the rest of it—cocktail tables scattered throughout the room, lights hanging from the ceiling and trailing down the walls and onto the refreshment tables lining the edges of the room, and hundreds of people, some who you recognized and others you didn’t, mingling and eating and—in the case of your friends—waving at you and Ian.

     You two walked over to them. Everyone took in your fingers intertwined.

     “Can’t keep your hands off her?” Angela teased Ian.

     “I uh—”

     You thought you sensed a faint blush on Ian’s cheeks as he tried to respond.

     You interrupted. “It’s a fake date, remember? Would you prefer we stood 8 feet apart at all times?”

     “So,” you turned to Ian, “where is this ex of yours?”

    “Yeah, now that you mention it, I haven’t seen her yet,” Damien said.

    “And anyone could spot her curly red bush—I mean hair—a mile away,” Shayne joked.

     “Maybe she’s not here yet,” Ian said, and then to you, “let’s go get some drinks.”

     He led you over to one of the refreshment tables, and as you were walking, you saw her.

     A tall, gorgeous woman in a tight green dress stood about 20 feet away from you. This had to be her, you thought, looking at her auburn curls done up in a twisted updo that made your simple bun look…well, simple. 

     You nudged Ian, “Found your ex.”

     He looked over at her, his brow furrowed, and then recovering quickly he looked back at you.

     “Yep, that’s her.”

     “Well, then let’s go introduce ourselves as a couple.”

     “No,” he said quickly, and then added “I mean, no not yet. We don’t want to seem too desperate.”

     You looked at him curiously but figured he was probably right. 

     You had a new idea.

     “Then let’s give her a little show.” 

     “(Y/n), what are you—” 

     You dragged him more into his ex-girlfriend’s line of vision. 

     “Ok, now kiss me.”

     “What?”

     “She’s looking, kiss me.”

      He looked at you like you might be crazy but he also had a look of determination on his face. Determined to impress his ex, you figured. He leaned in slowly and suddenly his mouth was on yours, kissing you quickly. It was awkward at first but as you pulled apart and looked to make sure the woman was still watching you—she was—you thought that it hadn’t been altogether bad.

     “That was, um, thank you for…that,” Ian said, breathless.

     “Sure,” you said, “anything for a good vengeance plot.”

     “Oh, be careful,” Ian said suddenly,

and you looked around, confused. “Old man two o’clock.”

     “Ha ha, very funny,” he elbowed him in the ribs remembering the horrors of last event, but you were grinning as you did so.

     “Hey, ouch!” He laughed, “We’re supposed to be in love remember?”

     And so that’s how you spent the rest of the night. Making sure she could see you when you touched Ian or pretended to laugh at a joke he made or leaned in close as if you were whispering something in his ear. 

     As the night went on it became easier and easier to pretend to be a couple. You hadn’t talked to Ian’s ex yet—he always had some reason for not going over to her. But you thought you’d done a good job of making her think you were dating. 

     And the truth was, you were enjoying yourself. You were having a great time, spending hours with Ian. 

     Like now, as you looked in Ian’s ex-girlfriend’s direction before saying to Ian, “So, since this is a date I guess I should do this.” You wrapped your arms around his neck. “And tell you how gorgeous your eyes are.” They really were, you thought as you stared into them.

     Ian leaned closer to you, planting a kiss on your jawline. “And since it’s a date I guess I should tell you how you shine brighter than all the lights in the room and how I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful.”

     “And I should pull you closer,” you added, grabbing his lapels.

     “And then maybe I would tell you how much I wanted your lips on mine. Again,” he said.

     He leaned farther towards you and your lips met his. He kissed you, really kissed you this time. He was gentle at first, but then his hands were in your hair as he kissed you harder and you leaned into it, kissing him back. 

     “For a fake date this sure seems pretty real.”

     You broke apart, looking up and finding Courtney standing in front of you smiling.

     Your voice came out more breathy than you would have liked. “We were just—Ian’s ex is right there and—”

     “She’s not even over here,” Courtney said looking between you too. “See?”

     You looked around you and realized she was gone. How long had she been gone? You let yourself imagine what it would be like if this was a real first date. Would that be so bad? Was it bad if it already felt real?

     Courtney left you guys with a cryptic smile before walking over to a table with drinks on it. 

     “So,” you started, “I—”

     “I’ll be right back,” Ian said, then quickly walked towards the door at the back of the venue.

     You stood there for a second. Was he avoiding you? Just leaving after you’d shared a moment like that? Was the kiss that bad?

      You walked back over to the table where all of your friends were standing and chatting. 

     “Hey! Where’s Ian going?” Courtney asked you

     “Bathroom?” You guessed.

     You scanned the room. There was Ian’s ex again. Now she shows up, you thought wryly.

     Courtney followed your gaze, “You know her?”

     You looked at her, “That’s Ian’s ex-girlfriend.”

    “No, it’s not,” she said.

    “What? Yes it is.”

     “Here,” Shayne pulled out his phone and a moment later showed you a picture of your boss with his arm around a short woman with red hair, “that’s Ian’s ex.”

     You were shocked. “But then who’s she?”

     “That’s a question for Ian,” Angela said, pointing towards him. You saw him walking towards you and you met him halfway.

     “Ian? Who’s the woman in the green dress?”

      He looked taken aback by the question, and putting his hands in his pockets, he said, “What do you mean?”

     “Well, apparently you never dated her.”

     “Um, about that” he started, hesitating, and then taking a deep breath he answered you. “I don’t know that woman. I’ve never seen her in my life.” He admitted this in a rush, looking for your reaction.

     “Why did you tell me she was your ex-girlfriend?”

     He looked down, almost bashful. “My ex isn’t at this event.”

     You took a step back, in shock, “Then why did you need me to be your fake date?”

     He looked at you intently, “I didn’t…need a fake date, I mean.”

     “But—”

     “I did, originally. But then I found out my ex wasn’t going to be able to make it because her and her boyfriend both have the flu.” He started to smile, then stopped himself, coughing, “Which is really too bad.”

     Another time you might have laughed, but now you stopped yourself, rolling your eyes at him.

     “So you lied to me?” You asked him, hurt.

     “I didn’t mean to—

     “But if you knew your ex wasn’t coming, then what’s this?” You gestured between the two of you. You were asking yourself just as much as him.

     “I may have—withheld the truth—because I,” he cleared his throat, “I may have wanted to go on a date with you.”

     “What?” Of all the answers you were expecting…

     “I think you’re great (Y/n), and I’ve wanted to ask you out for a while but I never quite knew how, and then you offered to be my date to this thing and it was going to be perfect—even if it was fake—and I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth. I’m sorry.” 

     “So yes, I lied to you. But I meant what I said though,” Ian said softly, “about you being beautiful and about wanting to kiss you.”

     You thought back through the night, taking all this in. All the fake moments that apparently weren’t so fake. For either of you, you realized. Because you had enjoyed being his pretend date, even if at some point you stopped pretending.

     “I just wish you would have asked me to be your real date. I would have said yes you know,” you told him.

     “Really?” He was definitely blushing now and you grinned up at him.

     “The night’s not over yet, we could still make this an official first date,” you said. 

     “(Y/n), will you go out with me?”

     “I’d love to Ian.”

     He began slow dancing with you even though this most definitely was not a slow dancing event. 

     “Ian!”

     As you looked into his eyes, though, and you saw the way he was looking at you—like he’d been waiting for this for a long time—you couldn’t ignore how perfect this moment was and you let him sway you.

     “Not bad for a first date, Hecox,” you joked.

     “Here’s to many more?”

     “Definitely.”

     He kissed you, your first officially real first kiss, and you couldn’t have been happier. 

     Cheering erupted and you looked over where all of your friends were standing, whistling and clapping at you. 

     “Still think it’s a fake date?” Courtney called to you.

     You looked at all the people around you, some of which had begun to stare at your display. You looked at Ian looking at you like you were the only girl in the world. You looked back at your friends, still waiting for your response.

     “I think nothing’s ever been more real.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed!! i love ian so much and im glad someone else does too!! if you want more ian x reader check out my other ian fic!! have a lovely day/night <3

#ian hecox #ian hecox x reader #smosh x reader #smosh fanfiction #smosh imagine #smosh pit #smoshblr #smosh #smosh squad #angela giarratana #damien haas #shayne topp #amanda lehan canto #courtney miller #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #x reader #oneshot

[fanbynature]

New smosh fans if you want to be traumatised, here's a snippet of smut reading that makes me eat my fist cus y the heck did they do that

#i get why damien gets so uncomfortable with fanfics #that was literally his initiation #it's a lot #smosh #smosh games #smoshblr #youtube #lasercorn #mari takahashi #jovenshire #sohinki #damien haas #shayne topp

[pedropascallme]

☆Masterlists☆

☆FAQ☆

☆Pedro Pascal Masterlist 

☆Cillian Murphy Masterlist

☆Metalocalypse Masterlist

☆Star Wars Masterlist

☆Smosh Boys Masterlist

#Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #din djarin smut #mandalorian x reader #agent whiskey smut #jack daniels smut #cassian andor #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor x you #metalocalypse #metalocalypse fanfic #metalocalypse smut #nathan explosion #nathan explosion smut #cillian murphy #cillian murphy fanfiction #damien haas #shayne topp #smoshblr

[asexualasshat]

Remember the time Smosh noticed me on tiktok?

#yes it was a joke about reading fanfic #teehee #Smosh #shayne topp #damien haas

[smoshpvnk]

#if you’re ever questioning to yourself whether it’s a good time to rewatch this video the answer is yes it is always a good time #shaymien #damien haas #shayne topp #p #i miss hacking off #this also seemed like such a great year to be a shipper/for fanfic #sighhhh #we will get another renaissance of shaymien i hope #another show besties? #please? #hacking off #q

[smloshie]

Turning Page - a Simon Bootles x Reader

Part 1 - 1729

Chapter 3: Sun & Sky

Word Count: 4077 (11 pages in Google Docs lol)

This marks the end of Part One (with the exception of the epilogue that will be posted soon!) Thank you all for the immense support. I almost didn't continue writing after I didn't see anyone liking it after I posted chapter one. Thank you all so much :,)

✦❘༻༺❘✦

My parents were right…

The woods are dangerous…

I ran through the woods, pushing through branches and jumping over roots. The wood growing out the ground had transformed into hands with misshapen fingers. They latched onto my ankles and my chin fell against the dirt. I clawed my nails into the soil as the hands clawed theirs into my skin. I saw Simon in the distance. I opened my mouth to scream for him, but nothing came out. He looked right at me, a pained look in his eyes.

“I love you.” He said. In the blink of an eye, he was gone.

My eyes shot open and a harsh gasp filled my lungs. I looked around, I was in my bedroom. The sky outside was dark. 

All of my skepticism soon faded when I looked to the chair next to my bed and saw Simon sitting there, slumped over with his eyes closed. I watched him for a few minutes, not wanting to wake him up but my mind begged him to do so on his own. His eyelashes soon began to flutter, and he adjusted his posture in the chair. He soon opened his eyes abruptly as soon as he realized I was sitting up in my bed.

“(Y/N)!” He flew out of the chair and onto his knees, landing on the floor next to my bed. He grabbed my hands in his. His fingers were trembling, and his breathing was shaky. He brushed my hair out of my face and cupped my cheek in one hand. I watched his eyes eagerly scan my face, seemingly to see if I was hurt.

“I was so worried, I thought my heart was going to give out. Oh, (Y/N), I was so scared. Are you okay? How are you feeling? What happened? Oh God, I am so sorry! I shouldn’t have turned my back. I should have stayed right there with you! I am so sorry-”

“Simon,” I interrupted, “I actually feel… okay… I think.”

I swung my feet over the edge of my mattress, and stepped down. As I did so, it felt as though the weight of the room was all placed on me. My knees gave out completely. He rushed up off his knees to grab me, one arm wrapping around my waist and the other grabbing me from underneath my shoulder. His hands rested up and down my spine. He lowered me back down onto my bed. I sat up in the middle of my plush comforter.

“Please, (Y/N), be careful.” he said, sitting on my bed by my feet, “Can you tell me what you saw? What exactly happened to you?”

I tried to assemble my thoughts as best as I could, my brain was scrambled. Between the monster I had seen in person and the nightmare I just had, it was hard to form a coherent sentence.

“A demon,” I said, it was the first time I could admit what I truly thought it to be.

“Did it speak?” He asked, not missing a beat.

“Yes. It said that whoever summoned it had ‘chosen wisely’.” I tried to put the pieces together as best I could. Simon had a look of disgust on his face, as if he couldn’t believe that a monster could be so crass.

“And it didn’t say who this so-called ‘summoner’ was?”

“No.”

“And you’re sure it wasn’t a… hallucination? I’m sure what you experienced was incredibly traumatic, but I just want to make sure it wasn’t just a vision caused by sleep deprivation.”

“It felt too real. The pain I felt, it was real. Please believe me, Simon.” I pleaded. He firmly placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Of course I believe you.” He softened his gaze. He wasn’t just saying this to appease me; he truly meant it. He believed me. I let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you. I feel like you’re the only person who would. My family would call me crazy.” I said. He nodded in agreement.

“Do you want to tell them?” He asked quietly.

“Absolutely not. Not only would they not believe me, they would go into cardiac arrest if they knew I went into the woods.”

“I could take the blame.” He suggested. I laughed.

“I feel that would be ineffective. They would either think I convinced you to take me, or they would praise you for being so open and honest. Either way, I will remain in the wrong.” I explained. As I looked over at him, he had a sad look in his eye.

“I wish I could take you away from here.” He said, quietly. I did too.

“Living here isn’t all bad… Just the people I share the house with are unbearable.” I said. He chuckled. We both sat there on my bed for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence. As we sat there, not doing anything in particular, my mind wandered. I thought about how I would be able to sleep tonight after the events that transpired. What if the demon came back?

“Simon?” I broke the silence.

“Yes?” He responded.

“If it’s not too much to ask of you… Can you stay in my room tonight? Or at least… close by? I can sleep in my armchair, if you’d prefer to sleep in my bed for comfort. I just can’t be alone tonight.” I looked up at him with pleading eyes. I saw his jaw clench, and his Adam’s Apple bob as he gulped.

“O-Of course, (Y/N). But please, let me take the chair. I can’t ask you to leave your bed when you’re already so weak.”

“You’re my guest, I insist!” I argued. He stood there with pursed lips for a moment.

“You said you wanted me to be close by, right?” He asked.

“Yes…”

“If you would allow me to, I could stay in the bed with you.” I looked at him, then down at my bed, then back at him.

“Well… I suppose that would make me feel safer. Oh, alright.” I conceded. He smiled at me. I attempted to stand again so I could dress myself in my nightgown, which made him flinch forwards to stabilize me.

“Relax, Simon. I’m just walking to my dresser. I need to change.”

“At least let me help you.” He said, grabbing my hand and arm to walk with me. He assisted me over to my armoire and opened the doors.

“Which one is it?” He asked.

“This one,” I said, tugging the hem of my white nightgown. He grabbed it off the hook that it was hanging off of and threw it over his shoulder. Then, he walked me to my dressing screen.

“Do you need any further assistance with dressing?” He asked. I shook my head and let go of him, lowering myself to the ground.

“You’re going to change yourself on the floor?” He asked, laughing a bit to himself. He walked to the other side of the screen to give me privacy.

“Well it made more sense then having you watch me do it!” I said whilst putting on my night clothes.

“I mean, what would the house workers think if they walked in on such a scene?” I laughed, “I’m done dressing, by the way.”

He came back around the divider and looked down at me on the ground. He held out his hands and pulled me up, my face ending up inches away from his.

“That reminds me…” He whispered, I could feel his breath on my face. He took a few steps back and locked the door to my room.

“I would hate for anyone to come in and see two unmarried souls in the same bed.” He explained. He offered his arm to me and I took it, walking back over to my bed with him.

“Oh, the humanity! Hath God forsaken us?” I joked. He laughed loudly and I shushed him, giggling as I did so. He quickly covered his mouth to stifle himself. 

I could look at his smile all day. Every morning when I wake and the sun bathes the floorboards of our kitchen, and every night when I’m engulfed by the warmth of his arms and the hearth of our library’s fireplace. His joy was becoming a necessity to me now, like air.

He helped ease me back onto my mattress, my hands gripping his forearms to keep myself from falling backwards. I gazed into his eyes, and he into mine. Despite being back on my bed, I kept hold of his arms. My hands touching his skin, so innocent and yet bringing forth the unholiest of thoughts in my mind.

If he could see only a glimpse of the thoughts racing in my mind, would he run or would he mirror every image that my brain had conjured up?

I soon got my answer.

His lips were suddenly pressed against mine.

I inhaled quickly, as he had caught me off guard. Soon after the initial shock, I reciprocated. I removed my hands from his arms and placed them on the back of his neck. His hands rested gently against my waist. I started to lean back onto my mattress, and he followed; like a dog being guided by its owner. He removed his hands from my body and placed them onto the mattress next to my head. My palms wandered from the back of his neck, down to the front of his chest, and back up again to his jawline. My heart was pounding against my ribcage, I thought it was going to rip a hole through my skin and bones. I could have sworn I felt his beating too. 

Two hearts beating in tandem with one another. The world was pulsing around us.

He pulled away slowly, lifting himself off of me. His brown eyes stared straight down at me, through my pupils as if they were pure glass. In this moment, I felt him looking into my soul. It was as if he truly knew me.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to kiss another man again.

“I’m sorry… I-I don’t know what came over me.” he said. I let out a short laugh.

“Please, don’t apologize.” I said, looking up at him, “Just promise me that won’t be the last time.”

“I think if it were, existence would be meaningless.” He sighed.

“I don’t ever want you to feel meaningless.” I said.

“Then let me kiss you again.”

“Okay.” I smiled, lifting my head up to him. His lips latched back on to mine. This was less of a hunger and more of a thirst. If I had been left in the desert for days and a mirage were to appear, he would be the only thing in the oasis.

While my thoughts wandered, I hardly noticed that his kiss began to trail down to my jaw. His hands wandered below my collarbone and onto my chest as his hot breath exhaled onto my neck and behind my ear. I closed my eyes and let out a few small sighs.

‘I never realized how sharp human teeth were…’ I thought. My eyelashes slowly fluttered open, wanting to see him as his lips praised my body like it were a goddess.

I was met with torturous red eyes.

I let out a yelp and pushed the demon off of me, flinching as I did so. My eyes squeezed shut. Maybe this was all just an ongoing bad dream. If I kept my eyes shut, it would go away.

“(Y/N)?” Simon’s voice cut through the darkness brought upon me by my own eyelids. I slowly opened them and saw him sitting on the foot of my bed on his knees. Oh god, did I just push Simon? Did I hurt him?

The expression on his face showed no hurt at all. Just confusion and worry.

“Are you okay? I’m so terribly sorry- I should have restrained myself. Forgive my behavior, it won’t happen again.” He said.

“Simon?” I managed to choke out, “Are you- Did you see-”

“Did you see something?” He asked.

“Y-You weren’t you.” I simply stated.

“I’m here, (Y/N), I’m me. I promise.” He reached out to grab my hand, but I pulled back. I wasn’t convinced that this nightmare was over. His expression that was missing pain before was now full of it.

“(Y/N)...”

“Simon, that… thing… It was here in the room. It was you. I’m not sure what caused it, but I don’t know if I can- I’m not sure if you’re…”

His face softened into understanding.

“I know you’re scared, (Y/N). But please understand, I would never hurt you. Whatever you saw in the woods tonight is playing with your mind and your perception of reality. I would never do anything to cause you harm. I only want you to be safe.” He said. 

I stayed silent, avoiding eye contact with him.

“I understand if you’d like me to return to my quarters for the night.” He whispered, standing up, “I think I might have overstayed my welcome.”

He began walking towards the door.

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” He reached to unlock the door.

I wasn’t sure why, but the idea of him leaving me made me begin to cry.

“Simon,” I said, looking at him with tears in my eyes. He whipped around to face me.

“Please… stay.”

A small stoic smile danced across his face, but something told me he was overcome with joy. He walked back over to the bed and sat on the other side of it from me.

“I think it’s best if we sleep for the rest of the night. You’ve been through so much this evening and you need your rest.” He suggested; it felt more like an order.

“I agree.” I said.

I pulled my duvet over my legs and slid down under the covers. He brought my pillow under my head for me, I thanked him in my mind. He smiled as if to say, ‘you’re welcome.’ I watched him get under the blanket alongside me.

Was this domestic life? This seemed like a future I could see us living. We would tuck our son into bed together, and retire to our library where I would read him my favorite stories for an hour. Then, we would go back to our bedroom. He would kiss me ‘goodnight’ each evening, just like he had moments before. I would sleep soundly next to him- his arm around my shoulders, and my hands on his body.

As if to assure me “...someday” he slowly intertwined our fingers together. I drifted off to sleep.

✦❘༻༺❘✦

Thud thud thud thud thud

I was suddenly woken up by a banging on the door. I opened my eyes and realized I was wrapped in someone’s arms. Simon’s. His chest was pressed firmly against my back. I couldn’t feel him breathe, it was as if the aggressive knocking woke him up too and he was holding his breath.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N), are you in there?” I heard a male voice calling into my room.

Simon and I sat straight up in bed, looking to each other with wide eyes. He motioned for me to speak, I stuttered and tried my best.

“Yes, hello! Who- um…” I cleared my throat, “who is it?”

“It’s Garrison. Are you dressed?”

Simon slapped his hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. He looked at me nervously, and let out a small groan. I nudged his arm and placed a finger to my lips to make sure he knew to stay silent.

“Yes- I mean no! I haven’t gotten dressed yet. Don’t come in.” I said, proud of myself for thinking fast.

“Is Simon in there?” Shit. Shit shit shit.

“How did he know?!” Simon whisper-yelled. I flailed violently, trying to say ‘I don’t know!’ and covered his mouth again with my hand.

“No! Wh-Why do you ask?” I lied through the door.

“Ah, maybe he left already... He wasn’t in his room. Strange.” I heard him sigh and his footsteps trailed off down the stairs.

Simon and I both let out a unanimous sigh of relief and flopped down onto the mattress underneath us.

“That was way too close.” I said, looking over at him with a mischievous smile.

“Would it really be so embarrassing to be caught in a bed with me?” He asked, not taking his eyes off my high ceilings and not reciprocating the smile.

“No,” I turned onto my side and pulled myself closer to his body, “It’s not that. I just don’t want them to get the wrong idea… I already bring enough shame to my family. I don’t know how they’d react to me laying in bed with someone I’m not married to.”

“If they knew it was me, would you be forgiven?” He asked, glancing down at me.

“I think we both know the answer to that question…” I replied. He looked back at the ceiling with sadness in his eyes.

“You know I will return to my home today, right?” He said.

“I do.” I answered.

“And you know that I likely won’t come back for a while, right?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Possibly for several years.” I paused. I didn’t know that.

“I-I do.”

“Then you must know, I will live my life in agonizing pain every day that I’m not with you.”

“I do.” I said, “and do you know that whatever pain you’re in will be worse for me, tenfold?”

“I do.” He said with a smile. How morbid. We both know that the rest of our days without each other are destined to be torture, and yet we’ve never felt so loved.

I brought my hand underneath me and propped myself up over his body to kiss him. He leaned forward into it and placed his hand on my lower back and pulled me in. It felt like he was trying to melt our bodies together so we would never have to be apart from each other. We separated from the kiss and I looked down at him with a smile that I failed to conceal. Gravity brought a strand of my hair down over my face, but he quickly tucked it behind my ear. His hand lingered on my cheek, and he pulled my head down to his chest- a gesture that I accepted. I felt him kiss the top of my head. I never wanted this to end, but I knew it would.

✦❘༻༺❘✦

“I think that’s the last of it, sir.” The coachman said to Simon, placing his final box of luggage in the carriage that was to take him home. He nodded his head at him.

“Thank you, Gentry!” He responded.

“I thought you would have packed lighter for three days.” I said, coming around the side of the carriage to meet him. He smiled warmly at me. He placed his hands behind his back and bowed slightly to greet me formally. My family didn’t have the slightest clue that there was anything going on between us.

“I wanted to make sure I was prepared for anything.” He replied. I rolled my eyes playfully at him.

“And were you?” I asked, “Prepared- I mean?”

“I’d say yes… for the most part.”

“What exactly do you mean by that?” I giggled.

“Well I was prepared to go riding if I had any extra time, formal events if the opportunity presented itself, attire for the outdoors, my day-to-day garments…”

“Naturally.” I interjected, nodding along.

“But there was one thing that I wasn’t completely prepared for… But I like to think that I made do.” He said, looking off in the distance then back at me. He seemed like he was patrolling the area around us.

“And what would that be?” I asked, genuinely confused about where he was going with this.

“I wasn’t expecting to meet someone like you.” He finally said. I quickly pursed my lips and looked down, my face growing hotter. Before I could even say ‘I want you to stay here with me so we can live out the rest of our natural lives together!’ I heard voices chattering behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw my family approaching. I assumed they had all come to see him off.

“Ah, (Y/N), you’re here? We thought you were hidden away in the library for the day.” My mother said.

“Yes, I just wanted to say goodbye to our guest!” I said, “Thank you for visiting us, Simon. It was… enchanting to meet you.”

“The pleasure was all mine.” He said, with a smile. Despite his grin, I could still see devastation in his eyes that we wouldn’t have a moment to speak with our hearts before he left. I curtsied to him and took a step back to stand off to the side of my family. 

To them, I would always be someone to tag along. The relative that most wouldn’t realize was there. Obscure. Enigmatic. A secret made of glass.

But when I was with Simon, I knew I was something. I was everything. The air that filled his lungs. His moon and stars; sun and sky. Radiant. Magnificent. A paragon of perfection.

I watched as they all said their goodbyes. Sad to see him go, but happy to know that he would never experience anyone or thing like me again. In between their individual conversations, he and I would glance at each other.

I didn’t want him to go. I tried to scream, but nothing came out.

“You all have been so welcoming to me these past few days… I would love to return someday if you would all have me.” He said to us.

“Simon, please come back any time you’d like. You were such a pleasure to have around the house.” Mother said. Father nodded his head in agreement. He was never one for words, so the rest of us knew that this nod meant, ‘You’re an honorary member of our family.’

My mind started to wonder about the possibilities that could be if Simon dropped everything right now and professed his love for me in front of them. Would they think it outrageous? Would they laugh? Would they approve? Would I finally be heralded as a queen in my family for doing something right in their eyes?

Simon seemed to have been reading my mind all weekend- but for what felt like the first time, he was blind to my wishes. He just stood there and accepted their praise. He was completely oblivious to the fact that if he dropped down on his knees and asked me to marry him, I’d say ‘yes’ in a heartbeat.

The time finally came for us to see him off as he climbed the steps of his carriage. My family waved at him and he flicked his hand as a way to wave back. His eyes landed on me.

He mouthed something to me. Or, at least I thought he did. Maybe my mind was letting me see what I desired. My family yelled out a cocktail of various forms of goodbyes, and turned to go back inside.

The coachman let out a brief yell to the horses and cracked his reigns. I saw Simon’s head turn and look at me out through the back window. Once I was sure my family was gone, I gave chase. 

I ran and ran, not stopping for a single breath. My mind was racing just as fast as my feet. 

What about the future my brain had so craftily curated just for us?

I was shocked to see Simon peek his head out of the side of the vessel.

“(Y/N)!” He screamed. I was beaming, ear to ear that he hadn’t forgotten my name in the past minute.

“I’m in love with you!” He screamed again, “Madly!” My heart was racing from running and from finally hearing him say those words.

“I love you, Simon!” I yelled back, “Don’t forget me- Please!”

“I could never!”

The distance between me and his ride grew and grew. I was giggling like a mad schoolgirl. I couldn’t run anymore. My giggling turned into panting and panting turned to sobbing.

He was gone.

But I knew that I would see him again.

Someday.

✦❘༻༺❘✦

End of Part 1.

#smosh #shayne topp #smosh courtney #smosh games #damien haas #smosh damien #damien haas x reader #simon bootles #simon bootles x reader #smosh x reader #regency #regency fanfic

[ancientvamp]

i finally published it you sick freaks (i love u guys)

#shaynse #chamien #shaynsemien #chanse mccrary #shayne topp #damien haas #shaymien #smosh #smoshblr #smosh fanfic

[tame-a-messenger]

What’s your fave fic about damangela

Mine is either

So this is love on A03

Or

The hoodie stream on A03

They’re both just dorks in them and I love it!

Tell me yours if you have some :))

ALL of the fics I've read ARE SOO GOOD

I really fucking love "The Hoodie Stream" though! I'm a sucker for 'borrowing clothes' tropes! Him just giving it to her and her being so embarrassed about it is just. *chefs kiss*

IF THEY AINT DORKS I DON'T WAN EM'

#damien haas #Angela Giarratana #smosh #damngela dynamic enjoyer #smosh games #smosh pit #damangela #damien and angela #damien x angela #damngela #damien/angela #smoshblr #fanfic

[stoketheflames]

The alien!Olivia fic has been a long time coming!

Here's Livin' La Vida Loca, in where Damien realizes Olivia's an alien.

Request more random Smosh pairings here!

#smoshblr #smosh #olivia sui #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #damien haas

[generaltrashshecox]

Onsen Boys

Anthony x Damien

Anthony would love to go to Japan again. He told Damien that when they were talking after he told him about his experience. It was a lovely trip with lots of good memories but it's also... Tainted just a bit. And Damien blurted out why don't they vacation there at some point? Anthony nodded along like yeah they should. He didn't think it would get footing but it did and suddenly they were planning Damien sprucing up his basic Japanese once more and trying to teach Anthony some of it. That's how they end up where they were.

Sitting in an onsen, a personal one so they didn't have to worry about covering their tattoos (Damien's would be so easily covered but Anthony's... Not so much) just enjoying the warm hot spring and company. Anthony was sipping on Asahi, a beer always going well with a dip in an onsen the cool alcohol contrasting to the heat. But maybe he shouldn't have the water making him thirsty as he's already on his third already feeling the buzz. He looked to Damien who was just enjoying the soak head back against the side face flushed from the heat smile on his face so relaxed and nearly breathtaking. Anthony could feel his breath get caught in his throat but he shook it off. No no it was the buzz it must have been... He took another sip hoping his cheeks weren't as red. Damien ran his hands through his hair getting it damp droplets landing and sticking to his lashes and Anthony couldn't seem to look away. He gulped never realizing how honestly pretty his friend was... He finished off his beer.

"This is great isn't it?" Damien asked softly, dumb smile on his face that never seemed to leave when he was around Anthony. He opened his eyes to see Anthony staring, face flushed but that wasn't uncommon from the heat but the look in his eyes... "Is there something wrong?" he said tilting his head slightly. He hoped he didn't do anything wrong... Anthony shook his head.

"Sorry I was spacing out," he said sheepishly but it was a lie. He just couldn't keep his eyes off the purple haired man for the life of him. What's was with the sudden change? Damien shrugged leaning his head back once more stretching his arms over his head. The smell of sulfur wafted towards his nose making it scrunch but it got used to it again. Anthony found him absolutely adorable and the liquid courage was starting to get to him. He moved closer displacing the water making Damien's head perk up once more but he was taken aback for a moment but how close Anthony had gotten. He whispered an apology before starting to pull back but Damien stopped him. "No no it's fine I was just startled that's all," he said with a soft smile. Anthony's tongue felt loose.

"Has anyone ever told you that you were pretty?" he blurted out suddenly mouth having a mind of its own. Damien flushed even redder which he didn't know was possible as he turned to look at the steaming water. Fuck-

"P-pretty? Definitely not but thank you," he said gently, fidgeting. Anthony wanted to scold himself but instead his hand found Damien's under the water and just held it gently. Soft and warm and a little pruny but he didn't mind. Damien looked up at him with confusion not knowing what was going on or what he wanted but not pulling away. He intertwined their fingers and ran a thumb over his hand slowly gently. He brought it from under the water and to his lips pressing a kiss there and Damien's eyes widened. Anthony couldn't help but smile at that. He didn't know what he was doing but he loved the reactions he was getting out of the other man. His other hand went to his face stroking his cheek now burning from it all but he wasn't telling him to stop and his eyes didn't portray that either. He dropped his hand back into the water gently before leaning in closer.

They were breathing each other's air Damien's more ragged and gulping in between breaths from his dry mouth before Anthony finally pressed all the way kissing him gently. He tasted of salt from the spring and some subtle sweetness that Anthony could only describe as him. Damien was taken aback once more but he kissed back gently. He couldn't say he was against it in the first place he was just nervous and scared. Like Anthony, the Anthony, wanting him? No chance in hell and yet here they were. He placed his hands on his shoulders before they finally separated a little breathless. His hand moved from his cheek to his shoulders then down his sides to his waist. Damien tried not to shiver at the touch.

"Beautiful," Anthony said simply and he shook his head.

"You're not too bad yourself," Damien replied not looking Anthony in the eye. He could only chuckle before pulling him in for another kiss. Yeah this was definitely going to be an interesting trip.

#anthony padilla #damien haas #anthony x damien #antmien #anthony/damien #pretty boys #i don't know what i was thinking but have it okay? #they're sweet on each other you can't tell me otherwise #fanfic #fanfiction #🔍🗝️

[hayleythesugarbowl]

damien haas x reader headcanons

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

a/n: alright you guys really enjoyed the shayne headcanons so here you go. I hope someone out there enjoys these as much as I do 🎀💋

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dating damien would include…

ok so he is the most caring boyfriend fr

“you’re so beautiful, you know that (y/n)?”

makes you watch all his favorite shows with him and asks you every 5 minutes if you’re enjoying it 

he calls you “love”

so many game nights 

you two have the best couples halloween costumes 

always asking how you’re doing

when you’re having a bad day he is actually the best at making you feel better and treating you

and he loves taking care of you when you’re sick 

he is so gentle with you omg

always asks for consent before anything

cooks for you

you guys have self care days together  

he’s so protective of you

and always has a hand on your back or waist 

he loves getting compliments from you 

like you love seeing him light up when you tell him he’s gorgeous 

you guys can just fall asleep together so easily

like imagine drifting off to sleep somewhere with your head on this man’s chest while he holds you close 

and then him carrying you up to bed later 

you become really close with everyone at smosh obviously 

shayne teases you two constantly but he loves you and has never seen his best friend so happy

you and courtney have all the girl talks 

he always insists on sharing his food with you 

you guys definitely have pets

he’s so patient omg

he loves cuddling with you 

If you even mention liking a book or movie in passing he’ll read or watch it so he can talk about it with you 

your favorite song is now his favorite

 so many deep conversations at 4am

“I feel like I can tell you anything, (y/n)”

he’s so supportive of you in anything that you do 

you watch all of his old acting jobs together much to your amusement

he gets self conscious but amidst your teasing you tell him how great he is

he can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you

he just loves you so much and you guys are so happy together <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed these!! let me know if you want any other smosh headcanons 🍓🩰

#damien haas #damien haas x reader #damien haas imagine #smosh headcanons #smosh fanfiction #smosh #damien haas headcanons #smosh fam #smosh squad #smosh pit #smoshblr #smoshcast #courtney miller #shayne topp #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #headcanon #x reader

[smoshpvnk]

part 3 of leatherverse posted 🫶🏻 almost 14k words of fluffy shaymien for you!

#shaymien #smoshblr #smosh ships #smosh shipping #rpf #shipping #shayne topp #damien haas #smosh #smosh fanfic #smosh fics #smosh fanfiction #my fics #p #damien and shayne #shayne and damien

[smloshie]

Turning Page - a Simon Bootles x Reader

Part 1 - 1729

Chapter 1: Black Sheep

Foreword: This is based on Damien's character from episodes 3-6 of Board AF Legacy: Betrayal! I haven't seen any Simon Bootles fanfictions on tumblr or on Ao3 (which shocked me, there's fics of everything there!) So, I took matters into my own hands. Simon is one of my favorite characters Damien has done and personally as soon as you put a man in horns he becomes my #1 priority tehe!! I felt like a serious author while I was writing this, so please appreciate the detail I put in to this lol. Anyway, enough rambling. Enjoy Turning Page - a Simon Bootles x Reader fic!

╔═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════╗

I sat on the lip of my bedroom’s main window pane, looking out at the lush forest that grew behind my family’s estate. While the trees are beautiful, they are intertwined with nothing but danger. At least, that’s what my father always told me. I was never allowed past a certain point. When I was a child, the reason for that was easily explained away by my parents assuring me that I would get lost.

“We just love you so much, darling. We would hate for you to be found by wolves and be raised in a cave! Now, sit still.” She said, brushing my hair on the portico facing the woods. She would say the same joke every single time I asked, and then would laugh at the ridiculousness of the idea. 

“Wolves don’t have hair brushes, just sharp teeth! But you already look unkempt enough.” My older sister, Margot, shouted from the other side of the yard.

“Don’t be ridiculous, they wouldn’t want to take someone as homely looking as her anywhere near their cave! They would probably just eat you!” yelled Garrison. It’s every older brother’s responsibility to traumatize their younger siblings. Then, it’s the younger sibling’s job to forgive and forget.

Mother would scold Garrison and Margot, I would sit and cry. Not only because of the terrible things they’d say, but because I had no way out. I wanted so badly to run into the woods. Away from all of the yelling and fighting. The tormenting and teasing. The oppressive behavior I faced at the hands of my own family. It wasn’t until I grew older that I started to appreciate how good I had it. Rather than go down the path of my spoiled siblings, I learned to accept that others in this world faced much worse than I. 

But that still didn’t stop me from wanting more. The wolf jokes stopped working by the time I turned 18. I knew I wouldn’t get lost, and I think my parents knew that too. I couldn’t help but think to myself that they were conspiring against me. My mind ran wild with the possibilities of what I’d find in the forest - what my parents were hiding from me. Maybe I had been kidnapped as a baby, and my real family lived in a cottage out there. My personal favorite theory was that they were scared I’d meet a handsome yet dangerous stranger, and he’d whisk me away somewhere where they’d never see me again.

My overactive imagination is what caused them to regret teaching me to read the books in our library.

So here I sat, forehead leaning against my window pane. Drowning in my own thoughts. I looked out at where the sky met the tallest tree, and let my mind romanticize the shade of purple that the sunset brought into view. 

‘I could stay like this forever,’ I thought to myself. But, nothing ever lasts forever. I heard a knock on my bedroom door. It was one of the house attendants coming to fetch me for dinner.

“(Y/N)? Your mother and father have requested your presence in the dining room.” she said. Despite her voice being small and quiet, it carried through my large room.

“You know, you could have just said ‘dinner is ready’ and I’d likely be twice as eager to get downstairs.” I laughed. She gave me a strained smile, seemingly to appease me. No one in this house really appreciated my humor as much as I did. I’m not entirely sure where I developed my cynicism, but it might have been from the years of family members telling me to be quiet. Then, of course, that leads to the question of where I developed my defiance. There’s always one member of every family that goes against the grain… so that’s that I suppose.

I took one final look out of my window at the sunset, knowing I wouldn’t see it again tonight. It was like an old friend to me at this point. I found comfort knowing that it would always be there. But, by the time dinner would finish, it would be dark out. I don’t find the shapes of the constellations nearly as beautiful as the color that the sun and sky make together. I dragged my finger along the keys of the piano in my room as I left. I walked down the grand staircase and crossed the foyer into the dining room, where I found my family. My mother and father sat on both ends of the long table. Margot sat next to father, and tonight she had brought her husband. Jeffrey Carmine was a proper dickhead. I hated him with every fiber of my being. Only fitting that my snob of a sister would marry someone as disgusting as him.

I took my seat next to my mother, and placed my napkin in my lap. As I did this, I glanced up at my mother. She smiled to herself. I pleased her by showing the manners she had taught me. Luckily, that was all it took to get her to stop breathing down my neck for the night.

The dining room doors flung open, and in came Garrison with his fiancée - Alice. She was an incredibly well-meaning woman. She’s been sweet to me since the day we met. While Margot married well within her league, Alice seemed to have settled for my ass of a brother. But I truly didn’t mind, I enjoyed having her in my life.

Garrison and Alice took their seats on the other side of my mother, with my brother sitting next to Jeffrey. They always got along, since they share the same brain cell. They immediately started chattering, whilst Alice and my mother began discussing the wedding plans. Garrison and Alice were currently living in our house, and they would be until they were properly married. Until then, I had to deal with the torture of living with someone who never matured past the age of 8.

I looked around my family and noticed that there was an empty chair right next to me. An unusual occurrence, since our dining room attendants typically pulled enough chairs to seat every person. However, I brushed it off as nothing but a mistake on their part.

Suddenly, Garrison takes a stand. He steps up on his chair, and Alice offers her hand to balance him.

“Everyone,” my brother’s confident voice booms and echoes through the high ceilings dining room, “I have an announcement-”

“Alice is pregnant!” Mother interrupts. It came out as more of a squeal - I couldn’t tell if it was due to the excitement of her golden child reproducing, or due to the horror of her golden child having a baby out of wedlock.

“No. At least, not yet. My announcement tonight is more of a proposition! I have a friend from my school days that is tending to business in the city, and he wrote to me asking for a place to stay. I offered him our guest suite so that he needn’t travel a full day to complete his work.”

“So, you’re standing on a chair to ask if your friend can spend the night here?” I ask, laughing to myself at how stupid he looks. My mother slapped my hand with the flat side of her steak knife, and cleared her throat. I flinched and brought my hand under the table. It stung.

“(Y/N), please don’t speak out of turn. Your brother clearly has more to say.” My father hisses at me. I squint at him in disbelief.

“He’s standing on a chair, and you’re scolding me for interrupting?” I ask, a laugh escaping me once more, “I’ll admit I’m enjoying you making a fool of yourself, Garrison. But this is the most ridiculous and dramatic display I’ve ever seen! I mean how important must a man be in your life to cause you to act in such a way-”

Almost on cue, one of our house attendants came through the dining hall’s double-doors. He bowed his head to address us, and spoke up.

“So sorry to interrupt, but your final guest has arrived; Mister Simon Bootles.” He says.

I look towards the doors to see a man turn the corner and pass through the doorway. He was certainly a handsome man, but the first thing that caught my eye was his royal purple vest. I’ve never seen such a color anywhere else. The only thing close to it would be the sunset I look out at each evening.

He gave a polite smile, and his eyes met mine. They were a beautiful shade of brown. Who was this handsome stranger? Was he the one that would whisk me away into the woods? I smiled back at him, but his smile faltered. I made his smile disappear with a mere glance. 

Suddenly, all of the memories of my brother and sister calling me ugly reared their heads like a snake with 1,000 heads. Why would my face cause someone I’ve never met to stop whatever joy their face expressed? Was something wrong with me? Or was he just as cruel as my brother? 

“Simon! What a delightful surprise,” my father said, “Garrison, all you had to say was who you planned on inviting into our home, and I would have said yes in a heartbeat.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, sir!” Simon said, “and I truly appreciate the hospitality. You see, my work is incredibly exhausting and it would have taken over two days to travel from my home to the city.”

“No need to explain yourself, Simon. You’re welcome anytime! Please, have a seat.” mother said. Simon made his way to our side of the table and sat in the once empty chair next to me. Now that he was closer, I studied his face for a beat.

Now I remember. Simon was Garrison’s best friend in college. The last time I saw him was over 2 years ago, when they finished their schooling and our family hosted a large party in their honor. Despite it being only 2 years, he and I looked vastly different from who we were back then. Clearly, he had been taking better care of himself. Maybe he’s not used to seeing someone as homely as me in whatever high society he comes from. That’s probably why he looked so disgusted when he saw me. Just another pompous ass like the rest of them.

“I’m sorry, do I have something on my face?” He asked. Had I been staring?

“No, sorry. I was just staring off into space and your large face was in my way.” I retorted. It felt good to hurl an insult at him before the weekend of mistreatment began. It excited me to finally be the one to strike first.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)! Watch your manners. That is no way to speak to a guest,” my mother snapped. “I’m so sorry about her, Simon. You know how it is to have a black sheep in your family, I’m sure.” Hearing my mother call me out for being different hurt. Especially in front of everyone. But, I knew what she expected of me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose. I turned to Simon with a small smile on my face.

“I’m sorry, Simon. How rude of me! I think your face is perfectly average.” I said. I had been made a fool within seconds of him arriving. He looked slightly taken aback. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my apology or what my mother had said. Maybe he felt bad for me? He had quickly redeemed himself in my mind.

“Thank you… I appreciate that. For the record, I think your face is too!” He laughed. Nevermind, he was just as much of an ass as I thought. Everyone else at the table laughed too. They were all laughing at me. Alice made eye contact with me from across the table. She was smiling and laughing with the rest of them, but I wanted to believe she was doing it for the sake of survival, not ridicule. I must have looked pretty upset, because Margot spoke up.

“Don’t make that face, (Y/N)! As you age, that will cause wrinkles. You won’t stay young forever.” She said. Jeffrey laughed. 

“No one will want to marry you if you look like an old hag by 25!” He said. Everyone laughed once more. I didn’t deserve this.

I stood up abruptly, knocking my chair backwards as I did so. The laughs immediately stopped.

“Shut your mouth Margot. Fuck off, Jeffrey. How dare you all let Simon speak to me that way? Did you not see how he looked at me when he walked in? Like I was a parasite? Garrison invites some man off the street to stay with us, and you’re already treating him better than your own child.” I said.

But I didn’t say that. I had already caused enough of a scene. 

Feeling overwhelmed, I left the room without saying a word. I headed straight to my room and closed the door, being careful not to slam the door. I knew that would only cause problems. I hated feeling like I wasn’t allowed to be angry. I hated that my brother just got to bring whoever he wanted into our home without any objection. I hated that I was stupid enough to think that Simon was handsome when he saw me as nothing more than mud on his shoe. I hated that he made my family laugh at me within seconds of being here. Is this how it would be during his entire visit?

I walked over to my window. The sky was already too dark to see any more beautiful colors. I already knew I would go to bed unhappy, but this solidified that fact. 

I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I walked over to it and spoke to whoever it was, careful not to open the door so they wouldn't see me cry.

“I’m sorry to have caused a scene, I’ll do better in the future. I didn’t mean to embarrass us in front of our guest. I should have known better. I’m sorry.” I threw out every possible phrase I could to conjure up an apology worthy of forgiveness. A long silence hung in the air.

“Actually, I was hoping to apologize to you. May I come in?” It was him; Simon. He wished to apologize?

“I- I suppose…” I opened the door and there he stood. The look on his face was sad in a way, I couldn’t tell if the missing component was shame or desperation. He looked at me with downcast eyes. I turned my back on him and walked further into my room. He followed.

“Listen, I am so sorry about what I said. I thought that we were just joking with one another, I didn’t realize my words would have struck such a nerve with you.” He said. I paused for a moment.

“Close the door.” I finally said. He looked taken aback by how direct I was, but he didn’t miss a beat. He closed it immediately. Silence fell between us once again. I was trying to figure out a way to phrase what I wanted to say. I began to speak.

“My entire life, I have tried to get my family to love me. You show up, and you’ve won them over by simply associating with my brother. How? Why? Why do they like you more than me? You’re not even their child- I am!” As I said that, I could feel my nose and corners of my eyes start to prick and sting. I needed to relax before I embarrassed myself even more than I had.

“I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear all of that, I’m sorry. I’ve just been really sick of the way I’m treated as of late. You didn’t deserve all of that information being thrown onto you. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve just said ‘I’m sorry’ for a 5th time since I walked in.” he said.

“Oh.” was all I said. I bit my tongue from apologizing once more.

“Do they treat you like that often? Like a so-called ‘black sheep’?” He asked. I nodded in response, “Then I suppose I chose the wrong member of the family to spend my time with.”

I smiled down at my feet, so he wouldn’t see. He was charming, I'll give him that.

“You should probably go back down so they don’t worry about you.” I said, folding my arms across my stomach. I looked back up at him and his eyes met mine.

“...and why should they worry?” He asked, taking a step towards me.

“Oh, you didn’t know? Prolonged exposure to the family’s pariah could have lasting effects on your wellbeing.” I quipped. He laughed and looked down, then back up at me.

“Then I had better hurry back.” He turned and walked towards the door. Before he left, I called after him.

“Simon?” He stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

“Yes?”

“Can you tell them I apologized for causing a scene?”

“Of course, (Y/N).”

“A-And can you mention that you didn’t mind my outburst?”

“Yes, of course.” He smiled and opened the door. Before closing it, he lingered again.

“For the record, I prefer the wool from a black sheep far more than that of a white sheep’s.” He said, over his shoulder. He closed the door, and I was left there smiling like an idiot. I wondered how I would respond if he had stayed a second more.

“And for the record,” I would say, “If an outburst is what it took to get you into my room, I might just have to raise my voice at God himself each night.” He would smile and stay behind, and we would talk about how horrible my family is all night.

I dressed myself in my nightgown and climbed into bed, blowing out the candles that had been lit by my attendants while I was away at dinner. I laid there for what felt like hours, just staring at the ceiling. I was thinking of Simon. His hair, his eyes, his clothes. If I had felt like the purple of the sunset was my only friend before, it was only fitting that I felt a connection to the man in a purple vest.

I finally drifted off to sleep, excited to see Simon again tomorrow.

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