#highschool or college im just like

[grendelsmilf]

older frog girls sketchdump. bc the brainrot is real

#amphibia #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #sashanne #sashannarcy #fanart #o.art #tried to put these in like. c #chronological order?? idk #but its like 1) sleepover before marcy moves away #2) cheerleader x jock hug. actually the time period there is unclear #3) sometime in highschool?? (note that anne's shirt says gilf bc she is canonically into gilves) #4) marcy in her new bedroom; texting anne and sasha?? #also apologies for her posters im not a nerd idk #5) anne in college. being hot and cool and dykey #6) more sashanne idk. brainrot #7) okay this was the first one i drew and its specifically from my post where i said theyd go to prom together despite sasha having a bf #anne is already drunk here #and then 8) an older marcy portrait bc i just love her design #i think she looks so lovely w long hair #i love them all..... #frogshowposting #100

[buggbuzz]

semi-heavy adhd vent tw 🫢🫢

personally of the opinion that the worst thing about adhd is the subtlety. we joke abt how obvious and silly it is but its barely visible 95% of the time.

& u spend your whole life not knowing if the mental struggle you have doing basic shit is what everyone deals with or if something's wrong. even when you KNOW you have adhd and even have it TREATED you STILL don't know if you're having a normal amount of obstacles.

i've been on meds for two years now and i just spent a whole fucking summer semester not sure if i was having adhd burnout or if my meds weren't working or if i was actually just being lazy. i think its all three, but who knows! and now i have a final tomorrow that i have to pass and i dont know if i can because i could barely fucking do any work all semester.

this happens like every year/semester but this one particularly stings cause it was supposed to be really good this time!! lots of free time, one class to worry about, the best nd-friendly note-taking system i've ever used, lots of flexibility, and friends to spend time with. it was even a science class!! chem, not bio, but better than non-science, right? but apparently, the only way i can ever stay motivated and on the ball is if im chained to a super-stressful and merciless schedule. so i have to choose between my long-term success and my mental health!!

i don't envy neurotypicals for the weird fucking ways they operate sometimes but good lord fucking jesus it sounds nice to be able to do things. i feel like a loaded gun with a busted trigger; i have all these amazing ideas and well-thought-out schedules and all the passion and desperation to follow through, but my brain and body just. won't. do it.

#vent #adhd #im really freaking out ngl but i will pull through because i HAVE to #i did the math and as long as i get like a 50 on this test i will almost definitely pass #but i'd at least like a -B #im just trying to find a way to be productive without destroying myself #cause i tried the insanely busy routine in the spring semester of my senior year of highschool and it worked!! #but i was sickly and exhausted and losing weight and everyone but me noticed #i kinda promised my friends not to do that to myself again #god i hate having adhd sometimes FUCK #i keep telling myself im only 18 and i'm still figuring out my adhd and unlearning the habits i learned growing up to survive #and that a lot of people do stupid shit and struggle in college even WITHOUT adhd #but omg how long is it going to take until i can rely on myself #im really scared im never gonna figure it out and i wont be able to do the things i wanna do #i just wanna sit in a lab all day and research cells or some shit man!! put me in a room full of bugs or worms or something!! jesus!! #this isn't the fun witty adhd stuff i like posting about but hey at least my brethren out there will be able to relate :) #adhd student #adhd struggles #adhd mood #adhd problems #neurodivergent #neurodivergent student #college #stem student #buggie's nerd stuff

[grymmdark]

im just running on survival mode huh. like the derealization and depersonalization and lack of motivation or passion for anything and need for constant low effort stimulation all so that i can make it through the day without having to face all the shit I'm actually feeling. and i cant do anything because im not in a place where i can face the shit im dealing with

#grymms spectacular fucking posts #i cant wait to get out of highschool and my parents house and actually be able to be a person #like seriously highschool is so depersonalizing to me i have basically no say over anything and i just do what im told for a certain number #of hours for a certain number of days a week #and like yeah i know college and jobs are that too but at least people see you as a bit more of a person in those. like you can choose more #stuff. in highschool the most choice you get is between languages or something. #and the worst part is i cant not go to highschool. its not optional. and yet it's actively harmful to me #it makes me so upset but im just stuck and i want to do something but i cant. there is not a single thing i can do about it

[etherealfishyfeelings]

wildest thing about being *ni inferior is every single time a new chapter of my life begins I am literally flabbergasted at the fact that I'm not dead yet

#did not think i'd get this far tbh #i remember graduating highschool and getting a job and starting college just did not feel real for like 6 months #im not entirely sure what i expected to happen #not astrology

[magical-xirl-4]

does it personally hurt my feelings when people (rightfully) critique SS's controls and how nosey Fi is?

yes

because this game is etched into my soul and mind I don't know how to explain it

#its so weird for me cause like #i played it when i was 11 #felt INSTANTLY and INSANSELY connected to it like it was part of me #REALLY connected to link. the master sword. zelda. the sky. fi. felt like it was a game MADE for me #didnt get into LOZ after i played some of it as a kid. i think its bc it wasnt the same #but now. im actually going through the games #and im enjoying myself #but beforehand. did i still name myself after the main character of a franchise i've only played one game of? #yes of fucking course i did thats how much this ONE (1) game and character means to me #i actually never finished it when i was 11 #i always wanted to finish it but i never did until i finished highschool and was about to go to college #i was 17. the exact same age as our hero. it was *the* right time #i loved the game more than i ever did before. finally seeing it through and finishing link's (my) story/journey #now it feels just as special cause im finally branching out and getting to know this character (technically me in a self-reflective way) #even more through the other stories #ugh. anyway. big dumb rant about how much i respect this piece of media after seeing more criticism to it. #yeah i like to go off. i know people love it which is comforting but. i just wish it was more loved #skyward sword

[yourlocalsewerdragon]

being a freshman in highschool is so crazy

#im gonna disappear AGAIN after this but i thought it would be funny to make a post for the hell of it #im way too busy to be consistently active on tumblr. ballet has consumed me #so anyways yeah im a freshman in highschool now lol #and im freshman council president too #hashtag stem #speaking of stem im like seriously SERIOUSLY considering taking biomedical science as a course in college and i wanna go to the UK #anyways ive mainly just been preparing for this HUUGE ballet competition soo a lot has been on my plate #and i havent been watching a lot of anime...but i did finish season 5 of mlb and the movie #the movie was great. season 5 was season 5 #but i watched like 3/4 of the ghibli movies during the summer and it healed me #ive been doing a lot of self reflection lately which is so crazy. and i think about like. everyone all the mutuals at least once a week. #everyone ive met on this godforsaken site genuinely shaped me as a person so much and the time i had here was so wild. #ig thats why it feels to weird to just permanently leave it all behind #i will never deactivate this acc and ill never stop coming back to this hellsite but ill never be that 12 yr old again #dragon's trash

[cleo-serotonin]

god ash was such a creep. a whole adult dating a teenager? even worse he was her BOSS

#the power imbalance is crazy #his age is never directly stated but im pretty sure it’s heavily implied/canon he’s in college at the very least he is not in highschool #and his actor was older than claire holt it was a weird age gap #I HATE HIS STUPID UGLY FACE EMMA DIDNT NEED A (male) LOVE INTEREST SHE IS A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN #also emma so deserved his spot as manager can’t believe Wilfred would be sexist like that the writers just don’t know the characters like i #do #h2o just add water #emma gilbert #ash dove

[harspud]

sort of a risky post but its always aging up characters do u ever age down ur brain... maybe i wanna pretend to have a nice school life with the super powered teenagers

#>sluggy personal #maybe its just the mental illness that causes me to regress speaking lol i just don't see how that would be #any more of a stretch then pretending i'm in a completley alternate universe #im also a psycho who likes high school settings & not college. sorry #i like the romanticized fluffy highschool life. i never had it but i like the fantasy

[princeanxious]

Aight. Screaming into the Void time once again:

I am going to yeet my brain into a pocket dimension, I'm going to strip my soul from this useless flesh suit and use the leftover bones as armor to line my wrath with, the cells in this body fight desperately to keep me alive and yet the synapses in the dumb ball of mental illness jello within my skull desperately demands the opposite.

Emotions are volatile or silenced, to feel them is to be encompassed with an all-consuming suffocating energy that screams for mercy and purpose, to suppress feeling them is to gain a moment to breathe freely in the all encompassing void.

To take care of this hellish body is to find oneself exhausted but alive, doing everything right and yet still picking up broken pieces and chunks every month like clockwork, surviving but not living, there is no rest for bones that have never truely had it, only pain and lead weight for a body that has never been without it.

I am not dying, but I do not feel like I am living. I do not have hope instilled in me, just survival. I do not look toward the future with any feeling, and refuse to return to the past. The present moment grips me like rain under gravity, unyielding and cold but necessary. Absolute.

Years of work I have put into this shambling shell and it's core, and hate that I still feel Grey. I am proud of how far I've come, but aimlessness still haunts me.

Words and pills can only help so far, but it's hard to find lost hope to cling to when you'd never had any hope to lose in the first place.

All I want is to just be at peace with being alive, and neither my brain nor body will grant me even that.

#luka rambles #existential brain rot #delete later #ask to tag #it drives me up the wall that people can just. have aspirations in life? like they have things they wanna be when they grow up #like maybe its envy but its more just anger at my dumb brain who could only settle on 'we gotta stay alive past highschool' and #then didnt know what to do with itself when we accomplished that. #i hate college. i hate careers. i hate the concept of getting old. of being alive. and i hate most that i dont even know why. #i hate feeling miserable and hate that my only mental repreve is escaping into fictional worlds when i read #and this is whilst medicated properly! im so tired of being angry. so i just go numb. and then it bubbles over and the cycle repeats

[hearties-circus]

I kinda feel like I've just hard erased any happiness or elation I had from being done with school all just so I wouldnt get asked a stupid question anymore I hate this I hate this

#gamer txt. #not once have i actually fucking wanted to go to college this was just the only way to make ppl stop asking me about jobs #but im realising now that was a stupid decision and i hate that i made it i hate tgat i had the chance to back out and didnt #the only thing that made school worth it before was my friends that was the only time id get to see them #now im going back to school completely without them like a fucking idiot #i know college is different from highschool i get that and i do want to learn fab weld but fuck me this was dumb #i know damn well im not going to make any new friends during this course im more terrified of people than ive ever been #and i stick out from my class like a sore thumb #whats worse is my nervousness from this has started fucking with my appetite and hunger and that is the worst possible thing it could do #that is like the number one way to break me #im already in such a vulnerable state i do not need constant fucking reminders of trauma i cant fucking escape #and im meant to just be normal and be a person and go to class on monday? #im this close 👌 to just dogging it. im pretty sure ill be getting the train in like i could full well just fuck off and leave #its not like they have my mums number she wouldnt know any different from what i told her #can i not just stay in the purgatory of being a teen old enough to be done with school but young enough to not have a job forever ? #please? im not ready for this im not i couldnt be less ready for this why did i let myself succumb to this pressure? i hate it #g-d i havent cried in. months now. this feels so. this is too much this is way too much fot me i cant do this #i dont know how i thought i could when the hell have i ever been able to do something like this on my own #theres nothing to me on my own i dont have any confidence i dont have any strength i need my friends for that and i dont have them

[starlooove]

Coworker beef….

#I WAS DYING #IT STARTED 10 MINUTES BEFORE I LEFT TOO #no but being mad at me bc they put ur break 2 hours after u clocked in isn’t gonna fix ur break time whatever man #and one of my faves was like cold w/ me today maybe it’s cause I’m on a diff section but like :( #hopefully she just feels bad #anyways idc #IM STARTING SCHOOL SOON GUYS #no u don’t understand how I excited I am #Like my entire highschool career was a launching point to go to college and when I had to push it back I was fucking heartbroken #BUT ITS LOOKINH LIKE SOOOOOON IM SO HAPPY DJEISKSLSGE #IVE BEEN EXCITED FOR COLLEHE SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL U DONT UNDERSTAND #for some of y’all imagine it’s like. 21st bday legal drinking age #THATS HOW IM FEELINJ

[whosplayerthree]

Sure, I can't stop someone from liking southpark, but I can block any southpark iconed users that cross my notifications on sight.

Sure, I can't stop someone from shipping the antisemite toddler with the jewish caricature toddler, but I can block them and every person who liked their shipping fanart that tumblr recommended to me for some reason on sight.

#It had a tag that contained 'jew' so I guess that's the algorithm for ya #tumblr knows im a jew at this point #so its like people in middle+highschool +college who were like 'hey you are a jew. check out this southpark jew joke' #'what do you mean thats antisemitic? im just making a reference!!!!' #op

[caramelmochacrow]

something hilarious i remembered abt pareo and hina.

yk how hina calls her pare-chan?

well, pare in tagalog is like. the 'bro' or whatever, if you want to greet someone ur close to and stuff u say "hey, pare!"

so she's p much just saying "hey bro!" to pareo.

#crow talks #bang dream #bandori #hina hikawa #nyubara reona #im trying to ignore the fact that some of them are in college and just acting like theyre in highschool

[oedipushansen]

i feel like ppl are too cynical abt young relationships

#maybe im biased bc i am a Youth myself but i think ppl are so quick to see a young couple & have their immediate reaction be ‘well THATS not #gonna last LOL’ bc like. well first thats just rude to say abt any relationship! but also like #while it is definitely true a lot of young relationships dont work out i think thats just the case for all relationships regardless of age #i know ppl whove had highschool/college relationships that didnt work out & a lot of ppl whove had highschool/college relationships that DID #work out & been married for years #this isnt that serious its just something ive been thinking about lately #txt

[andragoras-in-vanity]

Bee and Puppycat is great! Very wholesome.

ive always loved the artwork and colours but i was eh about the plot cause it appeared young, but if the characters are actually a reasonable age for that kind of coming of age thing then im IN. it was my one complaint about horimiya, that they were in highschool and not college.

#still need to watch the secind season of it but im scared to cause i cried real hard for the first season #but yeah it def would have made more sense for the character to be realizing these things and going through this in #college or university when that stuff you know...actually happens #but bee and puppycat looks so cute and if theyre like my age and going through shit im so much more interested in that than another 16 yo #having shaping life experiences and adventure and trauma that just ...highschool does NOT leave with enough brainspace to go through

[sludgeguzzler]

im so glad im getting better lately and thinking of the future as full of possibilities and options. what really keeps me going lately has been thinking about graduating high school and moving out and going to college, getting a job, living my life normaly and on my own pace, which is such a big change from the plans i had made just a few months back. im feeling sorta hopeful about my future for once and its great. i want to grow old now. its great

#i mean it doesnt mean i have a clear vision of what i want to be as an adult and if im even gonna go to college #but. idk im living through it #gosh im just. im just so so glad i cant put it into words #its funny too cus just a couple of days ago i was in absolute misery because of the big test i had to do dfshgh #but actually doing it made something click for me i think. i came out of the building feeling so #so light i guess #it was raining a bit and i just wanted to walk #so i told my mom it was too crouded and for her to pick me up someplace else #and i walked to a bus stop while eating one of the worst cereal bars i have ever eaten and my shoes were all muddy and i had a headache #but idk. i felt. really good #you see i am a certified teenager im six months away from being 17 im living that late teen blues #where my face is becoming a little less greasy and my frontal lobe a little more developed #and that means its almost time for college and for drinking and for partying and for moving out #and like. man #its dawned on me that the plans i had the ones about offing myself when i graduated highschool #they just odnt hold up anymore #i WANT to graduate i WANT to move out to my own apartment #i WANT to get a job; to come out properly; to study art; to put these years behind me and live #and im not saying i want to embrace everything that comes with adulthood no #what the fuck even is a tax. what do you mean i have to pay for my own internet. what the hell water bill #but just the fact that i actually want to go through all the shit parts so i can live the good parts means a lot to me #idk at this point im just rambling #dont want to kill myself anymore yippie hooray #schools definetelly gonna be Hell next year but i want to get through it so i can live the good part of life #im also ok about not going to college. like fuck man if i dont go then i didnt go thats that #i do have one (1) cringe unrealistic expectation which is omg what if me and my current bf stayed together forever [autism stare] #at this point im just incoherently rambling sorry there was alot i wanted to say and i ended up losing whatever sense of writing i had. #if you read through all of thank you tho. extremely personal i know but idk. im happy #sg.txt