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suki-daydreams · 8 months

Text

Umbrella

info : past arc gojo x baker reader, (reader is not a sorcerer, but gojo is), tiny angst to fluff, reader is a sweetheart (i love u), gojo and reader meet, comfort

suki's notes : this takes place right after geto goes cray-cray. this is also my first tumblr post- pls bear with me. this story will most likely have multiple parts and will eventually become present into the jjk world (season 1). hope you all enjoy! idek if anyone is even going to see this

THIS POST IS UNEDITED

spoilers if you haven't watched s2 of jjk- the hidden inventory arc

I do a recap in the beginning- SOOOOO

if u haven't watched season 2 yet- SKIP AHEAD

but if u know what happens and ur too impatient skip ahead ;-;

~~~

"The umbrella symbolizes the canopy of the heavens, shelter, and protection. The parasol is a symbol of the SUN, and an umbrella is a symbol of the shade. It is often an emblem of power and dignity."

___

Defeated. Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer, the most powerful man in the modern world, felt defeated. how exactly?

Gojo had a mission to escort a girl named Riko Amanai alongside with his best friend, Geto Suguru.

Geto and Gojo were the strongest.

Riko was going to be sacrificed to a powerful being named Tengen to renew their existence for a period of time to protect the safety of sorcerers and their whereabouts.

But, the mission failed. Just when Riko realized she finally wanted to live for herself. She got shot in the head by a man named Toji, an assassin, who goes by many names but it mainly known for being the "killer of sorcerers".

Gojo avenged Riko's death by killing Toji.

And with that, Gojo became the strongest.

Finally learning how to control his power, and harnessing it to the fullest. He went on solo missions- orders given by his teacher, leaving his best friend behind.

But, little did Gojo know, his best friend lost his way, but at the same time, found his way. Found how he wanted to live his life.

Sorcerers kills curses, they protect non-sorcerers. Geto witnessed the ugliness of the weak, aka non-sorceres, when cultists wanted Riko dead, and they got what they wanted. Geto's other friend, a first year, named Yu Haibara, died during a mission with another first year by his side, Kento Nanami, who survived.

Riko's death, Yu's death, a conversation with a girl in the middle of his mourning- all changed Geto's ideals.

Geto massacred a whole village including his parents. His dream is to now eliminate all non sorcerers. He was expelled from jujutsu high with an execution on his head.

And, it was up to Gojo to kill him. But, he couldn't. Even when he had the chance, even when Geto turned his back on Gojo. He did nothing.

He couldn't kill his best friend. The only one he's ever had.

Riko's death, Yu's death, Geto leaving.

___ end of recap

All light was sucked out of Gojo's world. An endless void of despair and defeat, crushed his soul.

He questioned his strength, his very own being, everything.

He let his feet drag him to wherever. He walked and walked, and soon found himself somewhere in the city. Collapsing on the wet pavement of stairs, as his phone vibrated.

Dragging it out of his pocket and flipping it open to answer the call.

"Gojo.. where are you?" It was another friend of Gojos, her name was Shoko Ieiri, she was also good friends with Yu and Geto.

"I'm on a mission Yaga sent me on," he lied.

"How humorous. I asked Yaga and he said he hasn't sent you on a mission yet."

Gojo scoffed and threw his head back with his eyes shut, he simply just let the raindrops fall onto his face. He didn't even have the energy to activate his infinity to stop him from getting wet.

"Yeah.. well. I'm on a mission of my own. I want to be alone right now." He said, Shoko let out a big sigh.

"Gojo, come back- if you don't. I will find you-"

"Yeah.. well. Good luck with that."

He shut his phone, hanging up the call with his brunette friend. He shoved the electronic back in his pocket while the rain pattered on his body. It didn't hurt. It was calming, but also very lonely.

Anger filled his body, as he drowned himself more and more into his emotions, thoughts, and what he was going through. He hated being vulnerable. If he was blessed with these powers. Why... couldn't he save the one's closest to him?

"GODAMMIT!" Gojo screamed to the sky, "if I really am worth something, if I really am worth being here, send me a sign, a blessing!! Whatever!" He yelled, then his head dropped. His icy blue irises staring nothing into the ground as raindrops hit the cement.

"I... have nothing to lose." His voice came out as a whisper, despite screaming on the top of his lungs a few seconds ago.

He decided to give heaven a chance. He waited... and waited.. nothing. More rain on an empty street.

Until it all stopped. He heard the rain, but no longer felt it. Assuming it was Shoko, he sighed out.

"Wow. Found me already, Shoko? I'm impressed," he said then finally gained the strength to look over his shoulder, his heart jumped.

You.

Your hair starting to get damp from the rain, your e/c (eye color) orbs staring back at him with all your beautiful features. You were mesmerizing, hugging a dessert bag to your chest to stop the rain from soaking it, while you let your purse dangle loosely by your side.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Uh-"

"Hi," you simply said with a smile, "I'm sorry I'm not this 'Shoko' you're talking about," you said with a small giggle, "but, you're getting wet, so here's my umbrella," your voice was soft, enchanting, music to his ears.

"Thanks." He said, as you held your umbrella out. But, he never took it from your grasp. It was big enough to cover you and him, so you placed it in between you two.

"Are you alright?" You asked, as you took a seat right next to him.

"Yeah.. why?" Is all he could force himself to say while staring back at you.

"Well, I mean.." you said looking around at the fast rain hitting every surface in your view before focusing your attention back on him, "you're sitting out here all by yourself. In the rain... in the cold... by yourself?"

He finally mustered up the courage to clear his throat and say, "I'm not exactly in my best moment right now."

You did nothing but smile, "understandable. But, you shouldn't be neglecting your needs. You could catch a cold."

He sighed, a non sorcerer talking about "needs".

"Yeah. Well. What exactly do I need right now?" He snapped, then sighed, "I have nothing to lose." It was silent, barely a whisper. But, you heard it, and did nothing but blink.

Then suddenly. You smiled and held out the umbrella.

"You need an umbrella."

Gojo : (ಠ_ಠ)

You giggled at his reaction.

"And, maybe... you need to find your way again," you said, making his eyes widened.

"Everything about you is bright. From your hair, your eyes, your skin," you pointed at each feature of his as you said it, then you dropped your arm to your side. "You glow on a dark cloudy-rainy evening like this, but you have this sad feeling to you."

He turned his head to stare at his feet.

"Whatever you're going through. I hope you get through it. With all the umbrellas you need!" You said, throwing your arms out. Then you smiled, "my grandma once told me, 'it's okay to lose your way, it's okay to be stuck once in a while. But, it's not okay to stay stuck in the same miserable spot.'"

Then you stood up, "you gotta pick yourself up! Because no one will," you stated, he nodded. He knows.

"And, life won't wait for you, it's just gonna keep going and going," you said and handed him the dessert bag you kept dry, "this has some kikufuku, castella, and a cake roll, if something makes everyone feel better- it's food! Especially sweets." You said with a small 'yum'.

He stared at you.

Then you smiled sheepishly, "it's been a couple hours since they were made- it's usually better fresh, but I hope you enjoy them either way!" You smiled, then waved goodbye at him.

"Goodbye stranger! Until we meet again," you said, turning around and walking away. Then suddenly, you jumped and turned around once again, "I forgot to say- you have really pretty eyes!" You yelled, then giggled, "bye now!"

He watched your figure turn the corner and disappear, but he continued to stare at nothing.

Speechless. He was speechless.

What just happened.

He's a stranger to you, you're a stranger to him, yet you gave him life advice, your umbrella, desserts, a compliment, and comfort- in less than 10 minutes.

Everything resumed, as he finally took in what happened. Not that he needed to, but he cursed at himself for not thanking you at the least.

Gojo hopes he can meet you again. Then he glanced at the shop name on the dessert bag, a small smile plastered his face. He knows how.

With the umbrella still in his hand, he picked himself up off the of ground with the dessert bag hanging around his wrist and began to make his way back to jujutsu high. Thoughts lingered his head. You roamed his mind even after he made it back, even when he was laying in bed at night.

The umbrella that you gave him was in the corner of his room, the moonlight peeking through his window dimly shining on it.

He asked for a blessing..

And there, you came.

end ~

more to come

I feel like I made Shoko a little out of character lol fuc.

What do y'all think? I don't even know if this is going to reach people LMAOO

I also really want to write a Sukuna x reader inspired by Beauty and The Beast. but 4 now. I am going to focus on gojo x baker reader. BUT I WILL WRITE IT SOMEDAY. PROMISE

also gonna write some toji fanfics. but not rn

if u didnt know (ofc u wouldnt. this is my first post) gojo is my main man crush. but i also really like toji and sukuna <3

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #satoru #jjk gojo #gojo x reader fluff #gojo x reader angst #jjk x reader #jjk #jjk fanfic #gojo fanfic

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ekingston · 7 months

Note

Apart from show canon, at which point did u think it was too late for lena's immediate forgiveness to kara's identity reveal

oh boy. anon, here is where i come clean about my shoddy recollection of canon’s chronology. i’ve done so many fragmented rewatches and skipping back and forth—there’s a reason i rarely dabble with canon-adjacent stuff! and that even when i do, i create worlds where Lena figures it out herself!

second road bump to answering this question is that i have a LOT of feelings about how things played out on the show, and most of them are incongruent with the tone of sgcw. i understand their narrative reasons for keeping the secret from Lena for so long! but the execution is so, so terrible! ignoring large swathes of canon and replacing them with my own is the only way i’m able to enjoy at least the last tiny handful of seasons!

here is where i spend an hour procrastinating from my WIPs, while not successfully answering your question at all:

to be perfectly clear: i adore most parts of canon Kara. and i think i may be hard on her in ways i wouldn't be if i didn’t relate to her so much. i think her backstory is extremely compelling and i admire her ability to hold on to her kindness and hope and joy even after losing everything that was important to her, even when she’s tired and lonely and mad.

BUT. a healthy Lena—one who we were made to believe was finally freeing herself from Lex and Lillian, rising above the coping mechanisms she’d developed as an unwanted and emotionally neglected child? i don’t think that Lena would (should?) have forgiven canon Kara at all.

after the rift, canon Kara flitted between telling Lena she’d lied to her ‘to protect you’ to ‘one person who sees me only as Kara’ to ‘your last name’ to ‘didn’t want to lose you’ until she literally told Lena she was on her own, and she’d treat her like any other villain until Lena repented, even rejecting her apology at first, as if Kara’s own decisions had played no part in Lena’s downward spiral at all.

the Kara Lena would have forgiven is the much more cohesive and coherent Kara brought to us by our talented fix-it writers: a Kara who is willing to let herself be vulnerable and to second-guess her motivations, one who is able to put together a proper apology and actually listen to Lena's own.

but, okay, lets table all of that. this is me trying really, really hard to entertain canon:

Kara and Lena’s friendship became painfully lopsided by season 3. i think that was, if i recall correctly, when the super-friends decided to trust Lena enough to regularly ask her for assistance—but not enough to let her be part of their in-group; it’s where they left Lena in the dark about the fact that her best friend had come close to plunging to her death right in front of Lena's eyes, and was actively still fighting for her life; where they tricked Lena into having an extremely personal conversation with J’onn, while he was wearing Kara’s features, only to make belly-laughing fun of her about it later.

and even then, honestly, it might already have been too late. what about the aftermath of Jack’s death? was that season 2? Jack was Lena’s ex-everything, someone who genuinely loved her, who saw her through the fallout of Lex’s arrest. he was one of her last remaining friends, and Lena pressed the button to let him die in order to save Supergirl’s life. how would Lena knowing that Kara went through that with her, knowing Lena had chosen to save the life of her favorite person in addition to National City’s hero, have changed the way she felt about that horrible situation? that’s where that extremely wonderful heart-to-heart on the L-Corp couch happened, right? Kara swore she’d always be Lena’s friend—while keeping silent about the fact that she was there when Jack drew his last breath, that she had witnessed their final moments.

so—i really can’t tell you anon, i’m so sorry. the 100th episode already fabricated reasons why Kara couldn’t possibly come clean to Lena back when she made the conscious decision to be her friend (and not in a ‘keep your enemies close’ kind of way!), and i’m beginning to think that was the only moment Kara could have told Lena that would have kept her conscience completely clear. Kara should have made it part of her decision—either she was going to be Lena’s friend and give her the same trust Lena was giving her, or she would keep things professional, and keep her identity a secret from her.

Kara tried to do both, and if i really think about it, i don’t believe that was ever fair.

#i could have kept going anon #drifting further & further away from your original question all the while #i think it would have helped it supergirlcw would have figured out at one point what kind of show they wanted to be #and possibly maybe also perhaps if they'd managed to make up their mind about who these characters were and what they wanted? idk #is it lighthearted and fun? then lena knew all along and kara half-suspects but it's still hard to come out and actually say it #is it dramatic? maybe lena still knows but she's convinced kara not telling her means she's just another luthor AND MAYBE SHE IS #is lena just another evil luthor? so kara was right keeping her secret from her! bring on the (actual proper) villain arc!#etc etc ad nauseam & ad infinitum #thank you for letting me get this out i guess anon lmao #perhaps it is A Day #ask me things!#anonymous

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lightlycareless · 4 months

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I have a silly idea 🤭🤭 you don't have to write it if you don't want to. Ok so here's the idea:

Naoaki loves bringing food to y/n. One day, naoaki got special edition mochi from the store and decided to give it to y/n. But y/n refused and wanted to share it with him bc she just wants to show her gratitude to him.

The next day bam! They exchanged bodies. Naoaki is trapped inside y/n's body and y/n is trapped inside naoaki's body.

But before naoaki wants to meet y/n, naoya suddenly enters the room and acting lovey dovey which made naoaki want to puke 💀 (naoya didn't know about this whole body swapped thing bc he thought y/n, who is naoaki is joking) At the same time, naoaki can see the truth side of his younger brother being vulnerable which he didn't get to see before bc of their complicated relationship.

While y/n is sad bc whenever she wants to approach naoya, telling him about the body swapped. Naoya immediately glare and ignore her (bc he thought it was naoaki 😭😭) poor y/n

After a few hours, the effect is gone and y/n didn't know if she wants to tell naoya about this bc 1. Naoya might be frustrated that naoaki can see y/n's naked boy 2. Y/n can feel and touch naoaki's dick which will make naoya jealous.

Well this is just a silly idea. Hope u will like it 🫶🤭

Hello!! So good to see you again ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you so much for this ask!!! I get so happy whenever I see (essentially) my oc's in my inbox 🥺❤️❤️❤️

Anyways, it took me a while, but here it is!! Also, I don't know what's up with me, like I read the asks and get the idea but then I end up taking some creative liberties??? Uhgggh :( But I still hope it's to your liking!!—it still has the same essence ehehe and I also had fun writing it + the little extras at the end :)

now onto the warnings: Naoaki is a victim here of course hahaha. outside of that, some mentions of nsfw activities 😏

Happy reading!

It was never explicitly stipulated, but there was a silent agreement that Naoaki was never to approach you, unless your husband, Naoya was present.

The reason behind it was simple: he didn’t like his relatives being around you. A statement you agreed to, to some extent, except for his siblings; for most of them had been rather amicable to you since your arrival.

Naohiko is perhaps the only one to not fit such description, solely because of his “brutally honest” personality, which was more often than not, just plain rude. But even then, he had his moments, particularly those where Hitomi would put a stop to his “offensive” tirade, and he’d be surprisingly… submissive to it—who would’ve guessed?

From there, Naofumi must be the calmest of the bunch, unfortunately, he’s the one you least see. It’s quite a shame, but understandable, for he was very shy and wasn’t very fond of socializing with others outside of his circle. But any time you get to talk to him he’s always very nice, and if you’re lucky enough, he even lets you taste a bit of his incredible skills as a cook!

The rest you’d see around the estate, sometimes—not that often. They also tended to keep to themselves, which you undoubtedly knew was work of Naoya’s merit.

It was upsetting to know that your husband didn’t want you to ponder more into this side of his personal side, as well as their seeming compliance to it…

But your sadness wouldn’t last long when you’d come to meet the oldest of his brothers, the one you were personally fondest of, and came to appreciate not only as an in-law, but as a friend: Naoaki.

Your time with him is often very limited, if not non-existent thanks to his demand as a sorcerer. However, it was still a bit lesser than your husband’s, so you got to see him more than Naoya.

And his visits were certainly ones you always looked forward to, for he’d always tell you in great detail all the exciting things he’d got to see on his missions, as well as bring you gifts from the places he was deployed to.

Not to diminish Naoya’s storytelling, you loved hearing about his work too, but rather… you preferred to do something a bit more intimate with him whenever you got the chance to see him again—before he leaves you again, returning God knows when…

Today was one of those days. One where Naoaki would come back after a tedious mission, intending to tell you all about it while bringing you a local sensation, coincidentally, your favorite: mochi.

“Oh, Naoaki—you didn’t have to!” You fret as he hands you the gift. And while your words conflicted with your true sentiments, wanting nothing but gobble them up as soon as possible, you didn’t want to be perceived as abusive.

“I know.” He says with a smile, taking down a seat next to you by the engawa. “But I couldn’t go there and not get you something. And not to brag, but they’re from the highest rated place there.”

“Gee, talk about pressure!” you chuckle. “Well, I just hope you didn’t spend that much on them.”

“Would it be too bad?” Naoaki asks.

“Only if they don’t taste good, I guess.” You jest, he laughs. “Thank you, Naoaki. You’re always too kind to me.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

“Would you like to try some?” you offer; but by the way Naoaki reacts, one would’ve thought you’d spoken the most outrageous idea.

“I can’t—I shouldn’t.” Naoaki responds, shaking his head. “They’re for you.”

“Ah, but it wouldn’t be nice of me for you to get something so popular and not let you try them—at least one, come on.” You say, urging him by opening the box and moving it near him. “A little bite?”

Your bright grin was the reason that eventually convinced Naoaki to accept your offer, hovering his hand over the box to pick the one he considered more appetizing, you do the same soon after.

“Cheers!” you say, subsequently moving the mochi to your lips and eating it whole in just one bite; swiftly relishing its chewy and sweet taste of your favorite filling—taro—with a smile that lets him know his gift was a total success, as usual.

Naoaki always tried his best to bring you gifts that were tasty if he couldn’t find your favorite as a bare minimum—and while some were better than others, you could never recall a moment you didn’t like what he got you.

But this… this had to be the tastiest one he’s ever given you.

No, you even dare to say, your whole life!

It was just so good you couldn’t stop at one, quickly reaching out to grab for another one and shoving it into your mouth, doing the same again, and again, and again, to the point where you finished the entire box! Except those that Naoaki grabbed, of course, for he too seemed to have fallen victim to its addicting flavor—and he didn’t even like sweets that much!

“Ah, that really hit the spot.” You’d groan, placing your hand over your stomach and contemplating the fact it’s been years since you’ve done something like this—as well as the coming repercussions. “But I think I just ruined my appetite.”

“Oh yeah, I think should’ve waited for after dinner.” Naoaki agrees, feeling the same way as you, if not a bit less, as he takes a deep breath—any hunger that he had coming back from the mission was swiftly replaced with sweets. Probably not the best decision to make, but he does not regret it, not one bit.

“That would’ve been a good idea.” You breathily chuckle through the discomfort of your full stomach.

“Maybe next time.” He suggests while looking at you. “I don’t usually eat sweets but I gotta say, these were pretty good—I’ll definitely buy more if I ever find myself on that area again.”

“I’ll pay you to bring me more.” You counter, enthusiasm making him chuckle. “I want Naoya to try some too.”

The way you fondly reminisce about your husband fills Naoaki with an unspoken sentiment that quickly erases the amusement out of his face, as well as prompting him to cut his visit short.

“I’ll be sure to bring more next time.” Is all that he says before standing up, your eyes darting at him immediately after, as if disappointed he’s already leaving—yet unsurprised. “Well, I’m glad they were to your liking. I would’ve loved to stay a bit longer, but I still have some things to do, like resting, since, you know, I just got back from a mission.”

“Oh, yes, of course.” You blink, remorseful for entertaining him more than necessary. “I didn’t mean to grab much of your time, but still, thank you so much for the mochi. You really didn’t have to.”

“Always my pleasure, Y/N.” he smiles before yawning—you could see it in his eyes now, he’s exhausted. Your regret grows a bit. “Well, see you around.”

“See you around.” You respond, waving him goodbye. A few seconds later, he disappears into the halls.

It’s not that you were avoiding it, but at his mention of “responsibilities” you end up feeling a bit… well, stressed; the aftermath of someone that had been procrastinating doing what they need to do in favor of literally anything else.

However, you don’t feel you should be judged too harshly. It’s tedious to work around the estate doing the same boring things… but you agreed to them because you wanted to support Naoya whenever you could, besides, you knew very well what you were getting into when you agreed to marry him.

But a nap sure does sound amazing right now…

Well, you’re already behind in some things, you were sure that a few more instances of delay wouldn’t do anyone harm, besides, Naoya is set to return later today or tomorrow, did anyone really expect you to care about that when your husband was coming back home?!

So, after cleaning up and throwing away the mochi box, you head to your shared room, quickly fixing the futon before laying down and resting your head against the pillow. You then yawn, eyes slowly begin to blink as you place a blanket over you—just what you needed for ultimate coziness.

As you close your eyes, the last thought that crosses your mind is the promise to get back to work as soon as you wake up, alongside the hope that when you wake up, your husband would finally be back in your arms…

The promise of a nap frequently entailed getting a well-deserved rest after a midday full of activities, recharge a bit before continuing with the routine, perhaps even make up for last night’s endeavors…

Or at least that’s what you expected to be graced with, instead of the notion that you’ve woken up feeling worse than when you laid down.

It almost felt as if you’d spent this whole time running instead of resting, alongside an alarming heaviness on your chest that just made you want to lay back onto the futon and not move for the rest of the day.

But of course, your drowsiness did not compare to the weight of your duties, alongside the burning curiosity to see if your husband had already returned home, eventually motivating you to push yourself up from the futon, yawning as you give your body one last stretch before heading out the door.

The first thing that you notice is how dark it is, anxiously wondering just how long you spent asleep, for this proved far different than just a quick nap —but that, of course, was nothing compared to your husband…

Luckily for you, the best way to figure out his whereabouts was by simply asking around; anyone among the staff members ought to know if the heir was back!

If it weren’t for the fact that whenever you spoke to them, they’d look back at you as if they’d seen a ghost: giving you short answers, none of them offering much help, before swiftly exiting your sight.

Although disappointed that no one seemed to know much of your husband, you were more skeptical, if not hurt, by their behavior towards you—so… vastly different from the warm and talkative way they often referred to you; it’s as if you’re back to being the newly arrived Y/N that didn’t particularly fit with the Zen’in (you still don’t, but it’s been an improvement since then.)

Well, there’s still one last person you can check on; the one that has always been amicable to you since your first day here!

Except for today, it seems.

“And why do you want to know that?” Mariya would respond with a look on her face that lets you know this was not one of her usual jests, nor intended to be taken as one.

It’s always the tone, after all, rather than what’s being said.

“Because… I mean… How do I even begin to explain that, Mariya?” you chuckle nervously. “We’re mar—"

“Well, I do; and you know what else I know? That you’d do good in leaving them alone.”

“Excuse me?” you frown, offended—she’s never spoken to you like this! What is going on?!

“Acting the fool doesn’t suit you, Naoaki. I know exactly what you’re plotting.” She says, and if you were already confused, now you’re dumbfounded. “The two are very happy right now, and they certainly don’t need any issues coming from you.”

“Mariya, I— I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Naoaki is not even here—"

“Is this a joke? Because it’s not funny.” She scoffs. “I suggest you leave before I do something I’ll regret.”

No. Of course not. This wasn’t meant to be a joke or anything of the sorts. You genuinely don’t understand what she’s talking about, literally referring to you as Naoaki and not yourself.

But then, the reaction of the staff, alongside Mariya’s… it couldn’t be pure coincidence. It… shouldn’t be.

So, you rushed towards the restroom, the nearest place you knew to have a mirror, to seek answers—effectively finding the the truth staring back at you, through the visage of someone you least expected, or perhaps wanted, which only gave their reactions a much-needed understanding.

The reason why they treated you differently, why Mariya openly refuted you… was because you were Naoaki.

Or more like in Naoaki’s body.

A statement that barely answered one of the many doubts that arose immediately after this revelation, further igniting you with anxiety as you scurried once more out of the restroom and towards your bedroom, with only one question in mind:

If you were in his body, then…

Who was in yours?

You’d always wondered what it would be like to see your body outside of a reflection or a picture, if you’d be able to recognize it at all since many theorized otherwise, or if you’d be in for a surprise…

Well, you could now describe with certainty what it felt like:

Eerie. Nothing short of frightening; To stare at yourself right in the eye, and yet, not recognize you, as if it were a completely different person.

But it’s not.

It’s you, with your eyes, your face, your body—there’s no denying that.

Yet, the question remains, who is the one staring at you?

“Y/N” You hear her say. And suddenly, it all made sense.

“Nao…aki?” you breathe as she begins to make her way towards you. “What happened? Why are you—what’s going on?”

“I don’t know, I just took a nap and woke up like this!” He frets, you immediately pinching his skin as if to check it wasn’t a dream, Naoaki twisting his lips out of fear.

“Careful Y/N, that’s still my body!”

“…This isn’t a dream, is it?” He presses his lips together before shaking his head. You cry. “No! This—this can’t be!! How did this even happen? Was it a curse? Did you get attacked by something before coming back?!”

“No, I wish it was, at least that way I could disperse the technique…”

“But you couldn’t… right?” You fearfully ask, he nods. “Ohh, what are we going to do Naoaki?? I can’t—we can’t stay like this forever! You have your things, I have mine, but most importantly, Naoya is going to come back anytime soon and he—”

“Ah, Y/N!” Suddenly, another presence joins in, with a familiar tone that immediately freezes the two on the spot, before slowly turning to their direction, screeching on the inside when seeing her. “…and Naoaki.”

“Ma—Mariya” you stammer, blood cold. “What—what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to talk with my lady.” Mariya responds with a frown. Right, to her, this was Naoaki questioning her—and they never got along. “If that isn’t too much to ask.”

“No, of course not.” You add, quickly glancing over to… you, Naoaki doing the same. His eyes said it all. “I…”

“In private.” Mariya adds.

“Can—can you give me a moment?” You say, now looking at Mariya. She immediately raises an eyebrow, skeptical, before giving you what is to be the second most shocking statement of the day.

“I think my lady would want to know that Naoya-sama is back” She says, and you do your best to not pass out that very moment.

“Wha—what?” You breathe. What you once desperately longed for, now couldn’t arrive at the worse timing!!

“Yes, your brother. He’s back—and it would be wise if you let my lady see her husband as soon as possible.” Mariya persists, and if Naoaki’s anxiety was already over the roof… now is beyond the stars. She then walks over to “you”, grabbing your arm and intending to pull you away from “Naoaki.” “Now, if you excuse us—neither of us wants to keep him waiting.”

“No, Mariya—wait. Give me a moment with her—I mean, him.” Naoaki suddenly says, and this, while surprising to Mariya, is enough for her to let him go.

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” she asks, almost offended for Naoya; you’d never wanted to waste time in welcoming your husband…

“Yes, of course. Everything is splendid!” Naoaki says nervously, but reality couldn’t be any further from that. Mariya squints her eyes. “He was just telling me something so interesting, it wouldn’t be bad for me to want to hear the end of it, can it?”

“… I guess not.” But in the end, Mariya would always trust your judgement above anything else, so she leaves the two alone to continue talking, or more like fretting, on what to do now that Naoya was finally back.

“Please don’t ask me to do this.” Naoaki begs. “Anything but this, Y/N.”

“It’s not like I want to either, Naoaki!” You whine; truly, all that you desired to do was run towards your husband and give him all the kisses in the world!

But… you couldn’t—and it pained you much more than you could’ve ever imagined.

“We can’t let him know.”

“Why not?” Naoaki frowns. “Surely even in his stubbornness he’ll understand—”

“Because I don’t want to stress him anymore.” You murmur. “Naoya has been nothing but piled up with mission after mission, do you think he’ll want to come home to another problem?!”

Naoaki thinks you’re giving his brother too much credit, labeling him capable of caring for anything beyond his own interest…

“Please, Naoaki… don’t tell anyone of this.”

“And what are we supposed to do then? Live out the rest of our lives like this?”

“No—of course not. We’ll… look for a solution.” You suggest. If only it were that easy. “Until then, just play along.”

“Play along?” he asks. “How—surely you don’t expect me to…”

“No, just—just tell Naoya that you’re tired, and he’ll understand it!”

“My brother—understand.” That’s perhaps the craziest thing he’s heard all that day, and he’s switched bodies with you!

“He’s… not as bad as you think.” You insist. “He must be tired too, I don’t think he’s going to do much after coming back from a long mission, you know?”

Oh, if only you were right.

In fact, not only were you completely wrong, but fate seemed to make it it’s personal mission to rub it in his face the moment he met up with Mariya, who’d first voice her distaste for Naoaki before tormenting him with Naoya’s return.

“But you don’t have to worry about my feelings, not when your dear husband is back! And something tells me that he missed you very, very much…”

“Wha—what do you mean by that, Mariya?” Naoaki trembles, feeling seconds away from throwing your plan out the window and leaving the estate all together—if he doesn’t puke first.

“Aw, come on—like you don’t know what I mean!” She chuckles, gently elbowing you. “He brought you thousands of gifts again, they’re blocking the whole entrance! I feel bad for the servant that has to move them all to your bedroom…”

“Oh.” Naoaki frowns.

He never thought Naoya had it in him to do such gesture and in such size… but seems he does as evident by the commotion harboring by the entrance, where a group of servants were taking out countless boxes and bags from the trunk of Naoya’s car and placing them by the engawa, while Naoya angrily ordered them to be careful, for their worth was much higher than their yearly paycheck.

Only stopping when he sees “you.”

Eyes softening and a bright grin on his face, Naoya drops everything on the spot before rushing over to your side, quickly wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him, lips intending to plant a kiss on yours and just about everywhere he can get, but Naoaki quickly evades him by offering your cheek instead—if your husband noticed such action, he didn’t mention, seems he was far happier to be back.

And needier.

“Good luck!” Mariya whispers to Naoaki before bowing to Naoya and retreating, effectively leaving “you” to your husband’s will.

“I missed you, my love…” Naoya begins, his hands snaking down to your waist and tugging you closer—if that was even possible. “Did you miss me too, kitten?”

“Ki—kitten?!” Naoaki gasps, doing his best to push Naoya away, failing to do so with your strength; oh, how he wishes he was back in his body!

Naoya chuckles.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to come back” he chuckles. “Specially with all those things you sent me…”

“Wha—what things?!”

“The ones you wanted me to do to you…” he breathes. “I’ll never forget how eager you sounded…”

Naoaki wants the earth to split open and swallow him whole.

“Well, it’s—it’s good you’re back at the estate! But I’m tired and I’d like to—" Naoaki tries to save himself by using the excuse you told him would work, but it doesn’t, immediately backfiring on him.

“Are you—are you pregnant?” Naoya gasps, in a way Naoaki can’t describe as nothing less than hopeful, if not excited for the prospect of having a family with you.

Notions that make Naoaki freeze and confused, eyes widening as he realizes that one, the two were trying to get pregnant— And two…

Naoya wanted a family?

Yet again, the image he had of Naoya are slowly changing…

Although in the worst timing possible.

“No, not yet.” Naoaki responds, playing along. He expects to be commended for this act. “But I’m still tired, work here has been… busy.”

“I see.” Naoya responds, a bit disillusioned, but not yet ready to give up, given the way his hand slides further down your waist, dangerously close to an area Naoaki does not want to have touched by him. “But we can still try, can’t we? Perhaps a little tonigh—”

“I said—I’m tired!” How Naoaki managed to push him away is something he’ll never know; but not that it matters much, for all he cared about now is facing the consequences of his outburst, something that shouldn’t have occurred in the first place since you reassured him Naoya would be nothing but understanding of your exhaustion, but now that he went ahead to assure his sanity, he might’ve just ruined the whole plan.

“Y/N?” Naoya asks, concern on his voice as he takes a step away from you, trying to get a better look of your face—he notices there’s something off about “you” but… he can’t put a word to it. “Are you… ok?”

“I’m just… tired.” Naoaki repeats. Still confused, greatly confused, because this whole interaction is nothing short of odd, and overwhelming.

“I’m sorry.” Naoya suddenly says, and this makes Naoaki even more baffled. His brother? Apologizing?! Truly, hell has frozen over. Are you sure it had only been you and Naoaki switching bodies? “…Well, I’m still happy to see you again, my love. I shall let you rest while I go finish other things, and then I’ll see you in our room, ok?”

“Ok.” Is all that Naoaki says before rushing over to see you again, having been eagerly waiting for him in some unaccounted empty room, jumping to ask him how every went down as soon as he entered, before going silent when Naoaki darted you a piercing cold stare that lets you know this situation will only worsen, unless they find a solution quickly.

“Don’t ever make me do that again.”

Naoaki and you tried your best to act as if nothing had changed, as normal as possible to avoid suspicion from those around them.

And at first it worked, Naoaki somehow managed to avoid Naoya throughout most of the day, throwing excuses at him that would take advantage of his seeming adoration for you (which Naoaki had yet to believe…) which he always accepted—he still wonders how your husband hasn’t noticed they haven’t even slept in the same room anymore, but in all honesty, as long as it keeps working, he doesn’t care.

But your staff… those were not as lenient as you would’ve wanted. While Naoya was afraid of doing anything to might slightly upset you, Mariya and the rest were not as careful when voicing their skepticism whenever “you” did something out of the norm, which eventually lead to get really creative with his excuses; he’s still surprised he even got it in him to say the things he did!

As for you… well, it wasn’t any easy either, considering that most of the people you were forced to hang around with were those you didn’t normally do so, such as his brothers, or the staff… but thankfully, his status amongst the clan often meant that whatever you said, they’d take as law, so there wasn’t much to justify there.

Unless talking about duties.

Both should’ve known that doing each other’s job would also be part of this “deception”, but as much as you tried to prepare the other, something still managed to pop up that almost places the plan in jeopardy.

“Come on, show me!” Naohiko insisted, an example of those highly tense moments. “You know, that thing that you do when using your technique.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” You’d try to avoid him, laughing nervously. “I don’t do anything special with my technique!”

“Don’t try to be humble, is unbefitting of you.”

“I really don’t know what you mean! Hahahaha!”

“Great, now you’re acting like that prick Naoya.”

“Hey! He’s not a prick!”

Naohiko raises an eyebrow.

“What are you now, saint Naoaki?

“No, of course not.” You rush to save yourself; whatever you could without appearing even more suspicious… When will this all end?

“You’re right though, Naoya isn’t a prick—he’s an asshole.”

… Guess you now knew why Naoya didn’t want you around his brothers.

But all these efforts would mean nothing the moment Mariya grew too skeptical of “your” behavior; the tipping point being the day she asked you what flowers you’d like for the new garden since the old ones are slowly withering away.

A common question with an even more predictable answer….

“I don’t know, any should be fine.”

Or not.

And that, alongside the fact you and Naoaki had been sighted spending more and more time together, while avoiding the rest… is what finally leads Naoya to confront the two.

“I tried my best to give you the benefit of the doubt, believe that maybe I was imagining things because I was tired after a long mission; but there’s no denying it now.” Naoya cited you, alongside Naoaki and your staff, to what you considered an emergency meeting to discuss the elephant in the room. “My wife keeps avoiding me with all kinds of excuses: first, she’s tired. Then, she’s sick. And now, she doesn’t even sleep in the same room as me anymore!

And I believed it, I really did, until her staff saw the two of you together, quite frequently actually; to the point it made me believe there was something else going on.”

“What are you implying… Naoya?” You ask, although you know the answer very well. Maybe you just hoped it was something else.

However, far from upsetting you…

It irritated you. Because this was the last thing that you wanted to deal with, on top of everything else!

“Y/N… Are you cheating on me with Naoaki?”

“And why would I do that?!” you breathe.

“I’m not talking to you, brother!” He snaps at “Naoaki” you frown.

Right. This goddamn hindrance again.

“Then don’t accuse me of things I haven’t done!” Naoaki retorts; you can hear your same desperation on his voice—because truly, of all things he could’ve concluded, this is what he decided to go for…

“What am I supposed to think after you’ve been avoiding me? Hanging around with my brother, of all people?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Naoaki responds.

“You know well, I’ve told you before!”

“Naoya…” you say; because even if taken aback by his incredulous idea, it still hurt to know he’d think you capable of such thing.

Perhaps it was best to tell the truth for once and for all.

“This isn’t what it looks like.” You continue.

“Well then, Naoaki, what does this look like?”

You then glance over to Naoaki, as if seeking reassurance while giving him a look that tells him exactly what you plan to do.

He hesitates, mainly because of what seemed to be Naoya’s reaction up to that point, but he won’t deny that he’d do anything to stop this madness from growing even bigger than it already has, thus, after a few seconds of this silent exchange, he nods, and you begin.

“…I—I’m not really Naoaki.” You say, statement that immediately makes Naoya laugh and your ladies scoffing—as if you weren’t already embarrassed, or irked…

This really isn’t off to a great beginning.

“Now that’s an excuse if I’ve ever heard one!” Naoya laughs.

“No! Listen to me, Naoya!” you interject, beyond frustrated at this point. “It’s not an excuse, it’s the truth!”

“Amuse me, then.”

“…Naoaki and I… we switched bodies.” You bluntly declare. “I—I don’t know how or why it happened, we just… woke up one day and I was him and he was me; and we’ve been trying to—trying to figure out everything, how to reverse it but we just… haven’t…”

“Do you really expect me to believe that? That you somehow switched bodies?” Naoya frowns. “That’s the most ingenious excuse—"

“…I can prove it.” You interject, Naoya raises his eyebrows. Perhaps telling him something only you and he knows would do trick. So, you make your way over to him, reaching for his ear and whispering to him details of your honeymoon you were absolutely certain he’d take as proof of your identity and leave this case to rest…

If, of course, he wasn’t as skeptical as he continued to be.

“I can’t believe you.” Naoya gasps, taking a step away before glancing over to “you” “I can’t believe you’d tell Naoaki of our honeymoon.”

“No, Naoya! That’s not what it is! It’s me, it’s Y/N—” you gasp, angry at this point. “Oh, I always hate it when you’re this stubborn!”

And that seemed to be the end of it; or more like the beginning of it all, believing you were not only sentenced to live out the rest of your life in Naoaki’s body (or until the effects of this distasteful act dissipated, God knows when that will be) but also suffering the great dent this happening struck onto your marriage.

You wanted to scream.

You wanted to yell, kick, punch—everything, yet nothing at the same time. Feeling powerless, foolish, and infuriated that nothing had gone your way since this started.

It seemed to be a punishment for something you had yet to be held accountable for, but that will be something to ponder on about later after you got away from everything and cooled down.

So, careless of the gasps demanding you stay, you begin to make your way towards the door, placing your hand over the edge and more than ready to just get the hell away from everyone—

But just as you were to step out the room, you hear Naoya murmur something underneath his breath, something that causes you to turn around and scowl, deep in disbelief (and pain) that he still had more to belittle you with!

“What is it now?!” you gasp.

“I can’t believe it.” Naoya says—yet, his words don’t have that same burning anger as before, nor mocking nature…

“What now? Haven’t you had enough of making fun of me?!” you lament.

“No fucking way…” He continues. “This… can’t be true.”

“Fine, keep thinking I told Naoaki about—”

“It is you.”

“How—what?!” now you’re confused. “Why should I think you—believe me?”

Want to know what gave it away for Naoya to unexpectedly trust your words?

It wasn’t anything outrageous, nor “other-worldly” as it seemed. Really, it all came down to one simple thing, the same one he always teases you about, or in this case, the one he never liked to see, for it always made him feel guilty, rushing to do everything in his power to make you happy:

Your pout.

Naoya could recognize that look anywhere, from a picture to your voice, even from a thousand miles…

And now, in his brother’s body.

Because there’s only one person that would have that same pouty look on their face, the one that is made seconds before you wanted to cry, or when you’re tired of Naoya’s relentless teasing.

You.

Who would’ve known that’s all it took for him to believe you?

“Naoya—what?” Mariya blinks, fearfully placing the pieces together. “Don’t tell me this—is she…. He…”

“I wasn’t lying…” you say, and this makes your ladies gasp.

“When did this happen?” Naoya continues, making his way over to you. “How—how?”

“I wish I knew.” Naoaki adds. “It’s been nothing but a continuous nightmare ever since it happened.”

“Wait, does that mean… the day I returned… you…” Your husband frightfully begins, the implications worse than anything he’d ever imagined—

But Haruko being the only one to openly state them.

“ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN SERVING NAOAKI?!” she yells before suddenly fainting, her sister quick to catch her body while Mariya rushes out the room in search of anything that could help her recover swiftly—perhaps her own way to deal with the shocking revelation.

“So whenever we… were together…”

“Don’t say it.” You say, scowling out of disgust. “We don’t have to.”

Naoya suddenly turns to face Naoaki.

“You better not have done anything weird with her body!”

“Why me? Ask your wife, since you two are nothing but perverts…”

“Naoaki!” you gasp, flustered.

“Did you do anything, Y/N?” Naoya asks, slowly turning over to see you—it’s subtle, but still there. Your husband is jealous.

… it’s a bit cute, alright.

“No, of course not.” You breathe. “Although I have to admit… certain things were very difficult to do.”

“Like what, Y/N?” he insists, you shake your head.

“… please don’t make me say it.”

“Well then, I won’t” Naoya responds—for now. “But then… how did this happen?”

“As we’re telling you, we don’t know.” Naoaki continues. “It happened right after I came back from a mission.”

“Backtrack your steps, what did you do as soon as you got here?” Naoya asks; he’s going to get to the bottom of this, whatever it takes.

Naoaki knew he wouldn’t like it, but honestly, he doesn’t care anymore; he wants to get out of this situation as soon as possible.

“I met up with Y/N to give her some mochi I brought—we both ate the whole box and then I started feeling sleepy.”

“Me too.” You add. “It was so sudden too, I mean, sure I ate allot but I wasn’t that tired before—”

And then, as if it were the most obvious thing, it all clicks.

“The mochi!” you and Naoaki gasp in unison.

Why it never occurred to either, that’s something they don’t even know themselves; perhaps because they never considered something so small and delicious could offer such a big threat, but now that it was brought forward, it wouldn’t take long for Naoya to begin his investigation, trailing down the store Naoaki brought the mochi from and soon finding out that indeed they were tampered with.

According to the vendor, he immediately recognized Naoaki as member of the prestigious Zen’in clan, and wanting to cause some havoc, perhaps get some monetary gain out of it (knowing well they’d come to him in due time) decided to give him mochi imbued with his cursed technique and let everything else fall in place.

But of course, Naoya wasn’t one to easily fall into demands of others, so after enough… persuasion, the man quickly worked to reverse his technique, creating an antidote mixed with the victim’s cursed energy and to be taken the same way the mochi were.

Preparations for the whole ordeal afterwards were quick, to the point where you and Naoaki ironically wondered why they hadn’t considered telling Naoya in the first place, although the latter was far more intrigued by the way his brother handled the situation.

While skepticism was certainly on the table, the one thing Naoaki did not expect was the kindness in which Naoya treated you. There were aspects of the nature he knew of in his interactions with you, but they were always with some level of… adoration, softness, as if he were truly overwhelmed for you and not for the hindrances this might present towards him.

Even if he desperately wanted to be with you like that. And given the way you sulked around the estate, you too desired so.

Certainly… the two showed to be far more than what he initially perceived, from a relationship he thought made of interest, with Naoya being the domineering one… Naoaki found out that there were actual feelings in between—love, he might dare to say, from both sides.

Maybe he did wrong in judging him so harshly. Maybe not. Who knows.

All that he knows is that after the antidote worked, things began to fall back into place at the estate, you going back to your usual responsibilities, and him his—travelling off to somewhere he hadn’t even heard of, getting you souvenirs along the way, which now made him feel silly compared to the amount of gifts Naoya would get you in turn.

… Well, maybe not everything went back to normal.

“What’s this?” Naoya says, looking down at the bag Naoaki handed to him.

“Just something I got on the last place I was deployed to.”

“Uh… that’s nice, I guess.” He says, not really interested. Yet.

“It’s for you.”

“Me?” He frowns. “Why?”

“I don’t know—maybe I had a change of heart.” Is all that he says before he turns around and leaves your husband alone.

Later on, Naoya tells you of this occurrence, voicing how confused this whole subject made him. You wondered if he did anything to him while he was… “switched.”

He denies so, before making you promise him to never bring up the matter again. You oblige with a laugh.

Extra 1:

This succession is one that would mostly be kept as a secret amongst those involved, for the sake of saving everyone explanations to give.

However, there were those that remained skeptical, such as Haruko, who would occasionally prod at you, just to check if you were truly yourself again, to which you’d respond by teasing her, scaring her with the idea that you were still Naoaki and oh the things that you’ll do in this body!

“Bet you’re happy you’re back, isn’t it?” Hitomi would tease back, one of the many ways she’d defend her sister, when not laughing along, of course. “You and Naoya sure did lots of “catching up” when that happened…. perverts”

“Hey that’s—” you stammer, before turning bright red. “That’s not true…”

But you didn’t fool anyone; in fact, as soon as you were back in your body, you and Naoya did all of the things you wanted to do as soon as he was back—and probably even more, to the point where your staff had to intervene, asking Naoya to leave you alone for bit because you still had other things to tend to.

“I’m just making sure my beloved wife is truly back to her usual self.” Naoya would say. “In all ways, not just physical”

They all knew better than to insist, more so because the next time they do, they might see something they wouldn’t want to, probably scar them for life too—yet they couldn’t deny their happiness to see the two back together again. After seeing how desolate you were without him, and him without you, it was a well-deserved break.

“Gross.” Hitomi would cringe, before laughing once more.

Extra 2:

“Naoya.” You murmur, snuggling close to him. It was the last night he’d be at the estate before he went, yet again, onto another mission. This time promises to be shorter than the others, but it still doesn’t mean you’re any happy for it.

“Yes, my love?”

“I was thinking…”

“That’s a dangerous thing to do.”

You pout, Naoya chuckles, kissing the top of your head as he wraps his arms around you.

“Anyways… I was thinking about that thing that happened to us…”

“The… body switching thing?”

“Yeah, and it came to me something I didn’t even consider.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, you know how they say soulmates can find each other no matter what they look like, right?”

“Right…” Naoya says; getting a mixture of feelings, first, guilty that this theory wasn’t applicable to him anymore. He should’ve recognized you the moment he saw you! And yet…

Secondly, because something in his mind told him you were planning something… unexpected—but what? And does he even want to know?

Maybe.

“So, I was just wondering… would you still love me if I was a worm?”

“What the—what the fuck?” he exclaims, laughing nervously. “Where did this come from??”

“Oh, come on!” you chuckle. “I’d love you, I’d have you in a nice little tank or whatever it’s called, decorated with all kinds of plants, homegrown so they won’t have anything weird in them, so you can eat to your hearts delight, as well as put you your anime shows so you wouldn’t get bored!”

“You’re weird…” he laughs.

“I’d probably take you out on a walk too, have like a small box I can carry so we can go around the city, let you out in the park, all that stuff” you continue, completely invested in the idea. “Sounds nice, right?”

“But if I were a worm… then I wouldn’t be able to fuck you the way you love so much—although I think I can manage if I really get in—”

“Eww!! No! Stop it! Nope! Don’t be weird about it!” you whine, fidgeting against him in efforts to get away from his uncalled suggestions, but he just laughs, holding you in place while snaking one of his hands down to your ass and firmly squeezing it. “Don’t—don’t touch me after saying something so gross!’

“Hey, you started it! I was just following you along.”

“It was just a joke!” You whine, he continues to laugh, peppering kisses on your face until you eventually accept your fate and stop fighting him.

He continues doing the same, eventually quieting down to complete silence. After a few seconds of cuddling together, your husband speaks up again.

“Even if you were a rock, I’d always love you.” Naoya admits.

“…Would I be a cute rock?”

“The hottest rock.” He kisses you once again, you roll your eyes at his lewdness, as if you weren’t expecting to do that one last time before he left, before laughing and kissing him. “I love you.”

😏 I guess that's my take on how Naoya would answer the worm question, not that anybody asked but hey, it is what it is hahaha

Also, this was all for laughing sake's, Y/N would immediately tell Naoya about the whole thing 😂 she'd be persistent cause she aint about missing her wifely duties!! But outside of that, Naoya was very, veryyyyy jealous when he heard about the whole thing—want to know what he worried for the most though? Y/N thinking Naoaki's dick was bigger or something hahahah oof rest assured, she likes his better :)

Anyways, this was certainly very, very different from other asks I've got to answer! I really liked trying something new :> I know I deviated a bit from your idea, but I still hope you were able to enjoy it!! It's just what came to me at the moment 🤔 hehe.

Once again, thank you so much for this 🥺❤️ Take care and hope to see you soon!!

#ask #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

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autisticlancemcclain · 7 months

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thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

#writer games #?#info #tag game #longpost

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just-my-type-x · 2 years

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Colby asks to marry u Headcanon

Will You Marry Me?

Colby would make up his mind to marry you a year before him actually proposing

The 2 of u would be on a vacation for your 2 year anniversary somewhere exotic, like Hawaii or The Caribbeans

His decision to marry you came one night when you were walking along the beach and the 2 of you stopped to watch the sunset, when you saw a small turtle trying to get into the water

"Look, baby, a sea turtle. She's so tinyyy", you'd leave Colby's side, but he'd chuckle and would eagerly follow you to see it as well

"Oh my God, she really iiis. Look at that tiny littls head she has", and then he'd just look at you trying to play with the sea turtle, but miserably failing

Colby would find that the cutest and purest thing ever, seeing you pout when the sea turtle left yiu behind to get into the water

"She didn't want to be friends", you'd pout again and he would just melt right there because of how precious you are in that moment

"You're the one", he'd think

After the vacation, he would make sure he's looking for the best engagement ring he can find, he would even get a custom made one of necessary, but fortunately, he finds the most beautiful one for his future fiancée and, later, wife

Again, he'd plan everything with a year before he actually asks, just to make sure it's the right decision, but he knows it's the right one

After a year, he gets more and more eager to propose to you

So, when the 3rd anniversary vacation comes around, he asks you where do you see the 2 of you going on your honeymoon, so you both decide a place to go to

You arrive there and what you don't know is that Colby actually talked to the staff to create a honeymoon reservation, which included spa day, different couple activities, a room decorated with all sorts of romantic stuff, but of course Colby plays dumb and thinks they've mistaken the reason you're there

You'd let it sink in because you don't want to upset the staff that has worked so hard for you to be comfortable throughout your stay of 5 days

You'd go out every night to different restaurants, enjoy spa day, the jacuzzi and the most important part, being there with Colby, who you always felt he was your soulmate

On the 4th and final night, Colby wanted for the 2 of you to go out on a short hike after you've just eaten at the resort's restaurant. He said he ate too much and that he needs to move, you just chuckled but agreed to what he said

You started walking on a path between tall, dark trees, seeing in far in the distance some city lights

You walk for what feels like 5 minutes and Colby motions you to take a right on the path, where a trail of roses and candles mark the way to a square made of metal bars. The bars are decorated with beautiful lights, lightning up the set in the middle

Something like this

There was a blanket, some pillows, champagne, a cake, plates and utensils. You look at Colby, whose eyes were shining very bright, with a wide smile on his face. He extended an arm and showed you the way, to make you move forward. You walk shakily on the beautiful paved path and you see Colby taking his shoes off, so you do the same

Both of you stay in the middle of the blanket, kissing each other. You back away, looking around you

"Babe, this is way too much for an anniversary. You shouldn't have. I didn't do anything this big for you this year"

But as you turn around, you see Colby getting down on one knee, opening the ring box towards you.

You gasp when you see him standing on his knee, tears forming in your eyes

"Y/N", he starts with a shaky breath, "I never thought i will ever find my true love. I never thought i will ever be this happy in my life. But i met you and I've my best since I've met you. You've always been by my side, supported me. I always knew you were the one. Y/N, will you marry me? Please? ", one tear falls from the corner of his eye and you're fast to say yes and nod your head, getting down on your knees to kiss him hard, afraid he'll disappear

He takes the ring from the box and places it on your ring finger, kissing it before kissing you again

"I love you so much, Colby"

"I love you more, y/n. Wow this is it. You're going to be mine forever", he smiles and shakes his head in disbelief. You glue your foreheads together

"And you're going to be mine forever"

#colby brock #colby brock imagine #colby brock smut #colby brock headcanon #colby brock concept #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x reader

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byunejoo · 10 months

Text

&TEAM’S HYUNGS…AS CAMBOYS

contents. mentions of cam shows, sexual activity for the camera, tipping money, sex work, boys wearing feminine clothes and underwear

(thank you to my friends who let me bounce ideas and helped me with some things. cough cough lynn helping me with nicholas and k hehe. y’all are the best. love u mwah.)

✸ KOGA YUDAI AS… the flirt

this man knows he’s attractive, and he likes to show off a lot. k is such a tease, too. the type to sit in his shirt and a pair of sweatpants, stroking himself over them, giving the worst (see: hottest) set of “fuck me eyes” to the camera. not afraid to talk, flirting as if he were speaking directly to you. lots of seductive winking, lip biting, blowing kisses and sticking his tongue out. for sure a moaner when it feels good. (also, he’s got a pretty dick and loves to show it off.)

✸ MURATA FUMA AS… the interaction king

listen, he’s got a sexy voice and he knows it. he always starts his streams off by just talking. he talks about his day, reads some comments, and smoothly transitions into the more spicy things. if k wasn’t the #1 y/n enabler, fuma would be. he keeps track of who’s tipping him, would moan out their names, smiling (see: smirking) when he hears the chime sound go off again, meaning they’ve tipped him more. he tends to remain fairly calm and collected, talking throughout his entire show. his shows are definitely for the people with a voice kink. (he also has a drool-worthy cock.)

✸ NICHOLAS WANG AS… the flirt pt. 2

he’s a lot more talkative and almost greasy with his flirting. lots of “yeah, you like that?” no matter what he’s doing. he sticks out his tongue a lot, too. he’s also a huge people pleaser. he reads a lot of comments and does requests, especially for his top tippers. the only thing he’s found so far that he won’t do is feet stuff, i think. but, say, you want him to wear cat ears and a tail plug? sure, he can do that. you want him to take on a more dominant role? that’s fine! he’s very versatile and will do most things asked of him, but he’ll flirt very hard while doing them.

✸ BYUN EUIJOO AS… the shy one

when he first starts doing cam shows, he’s honestly quite nervous and it takes a lot of warming up to be able to take his clothes off. and even then, he’s bite his lips to hold back his reactions and cover his face with his hand when he cums (a habit which he still has now that he’s more comfy doing shows). he’s also the biggest people pleaser of the four of them, and would do every request. even if that means wearing the cutest, most feminine panties that his cock would be bulging out of and stockings. his face would be so red when lifting his shirt to give a peek, but it wouldn’t take long to notice the wet spot from where he’s leaking precum already.

#&team smut #&team hard hours #&team hard thoughts #&team k smut #&team fuma smut #&team nicholas smut #&team ej smut #koga yudai smut #murata fuma smut #nicholas wang smut #byun euijoo smut

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tinylantern · 5 months

Text

It's interesting how some of the criticisms I've seen over on r/runefactory concerning RF4's writing--specifically those surrounding Act 3--are serving as inspiration for a potential AU to explore in fanart (and maybe fanfiction as well, if I ever get around to it.)

So, you know, even as someone who adores Rune Factory 4's cast of characters and the individual character arcs everyone goes through, I am not without my criticisms of the writing. One thing I am definitely not a fan of is the fact that all three acts of the main story are essentially "save Ventuswill: Parts 1, 2, and 3." It's not that "save the Divine Dragon" is a bad plot to have, but that it never really switches up the formula enough to keep it consistently interesting across the length of RF4's story. You can easily describe the three acts of RF4's story as "Ventuswill is secretly dying! You must save her! Oh, now she's dying again! Get the Rune Spheres back from Ethelberd and save her! Surprise! She's not actually dead! Let's save her for real this time!" And because of that lack of variation, the most interesting aspects of Act 2 and Act 3, at least for me, are not saving Ventuswill, but the stuff that happens with the other characters who are involved in the plot. Arthur, who cites frequently in his dialogue how much he dislikes having been born a prince, utilizes the resources he has at his disposal to get Selphia the support it needs from the capital because as much as he may complain about his position, he knows he has a responsibility as a member of Norad's royal family and the true prince who was supposed to run Selphia. Doug, who was revealed earlier in Act 1 to actually be a spy for the Sechs with a personal vendetta against Ventuswill, feels immense guilt for having believed in a lie that ultimately hurt the people he cares about, and he actively seeks to redeem himself to the point of getting injured multiple times across Act 2. And during Act 3, we finally learn that Frey/Lest is a surviving descendant of the Earthmates who have spent literal centuries trying to find a solution to the runes in the land dying out so that Ventuswill will no longer have to rely on the sacrifices of the Guardians in order to live.

However, a post by u/KamenRiderSekai, who I believe goes by @avenger-concerto here, highlights that Act 3 does, to an extent, potentially ruin the narrative themes of Rune Factory 4's story. Even as someone who generally prefers happy endings to sad or bittersweet ones (hell, the whole reason I originally bought Rune Factory 4 Special was because I needed a more lighthearted game after the literal rain of depression that was Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights), Act 3 does feel very... out of place. A lot of RF4's themes revolve around those of loss, grief, loneliness, and self-isolation, and how you need to make the most of the time you have with those you love instead of shoving them away because life is so short. Although it was upsetting to see Ventuswill die at the end of the Act 2 despite all the crap Lest/Frey went through trying to save her, it feels... fitting, especially since Frey/Lest's ending narration solidifies that although they and the rest of the town were in mourning for some time, they resolved to move forward with their lives because all Ventuswill wanted was a bright future for her friends and for Selphia, and she was absolutely tired of people sacrificing themselves for her sake.

But Act 3 comes along and you learn that Oh, not only was Ventuswill not ready to go just yet, but we still have a chance to save Ventuswill despite the fact that she's literally dead. I get that although it has its "dark" moments, Rune Factory is overall a fairly lighthearted series, but it just seems very shoehorned in for the sake of giving players a happy ending where Ventuswill is alive and well. And when you do complete Rune Prana and save Ventuswill, there is so very little fanfare to the point that there isn't even a credits roll like the first two acts; all you get is a commemorative illustration featuring Ventuswill in her human form down in the trophy room. It makes Act 3 almost feel like one big afterthought despite the important lore it contains, especially in regards to Frey/Lest.

With all that said, KamenRiderSekai did briefly bring up an interesting, alternate concept for Act 3, one that has been gnawing at my brain off and on again since I originally first read it. Taken directly from the original reddit thread:

"A more apt arc would have been maybe the birth or succession of a new "Ventuswill", which is something I've always thought of as an alternative for years on end."

This makes so much more sense to me on so many levels. First off: Ventuswill does state during Act 1 that, when she expires, the runes her body gives off will be enough to sustain the land for another 1000 years, during which a new Native Wind Dragon will be born to play their role as she did. A new "Ventuswill" being born, possibly as a result of the influences of the Rune Spheres as well as whatever efforts the protagonist and the Guardians put in, would 100% make sense from a lore standpoint. However, it also makes sense from a thematic standpoint in regards to the franchise as a whole.

A major theme prevalent in the Rune Factory series is the cycle of life, death and rebirth. In almost every game, the protagonist loses their memories, resulting in the "death" of their past self. They wake up in a new town that takes them in, where they create a new life for themselves; eventually, they fall in love with someone, get married, and start a family with their spouse. This lines up so well with the idea that even though the old Ventuswill is gone, she is not forgotten and her spirit will live on in the new Wind Dragon who will one day guide and protect the land like their predecessor.

If I were to make this into a full blown AU, there are other things I would like to explore as well. I highlighted in a post from August about how Arthur's Another Episode reveals that Selphia's relationship with the royal family is complicated because it is not actually ruled by the king, but by Ventuswill herself, and that her death should have had more implications in terms of Selphia's political status as well as in regards to Frey/Lest and Arthur's switch... which it doesn't because a major point of RF4's gameplay is that you're in charge of Selphia and even Arthur returning to his position briefly during Act 2 doesn't affect your ability to manage the town through the Order Symbol.

There is also the matter of the Guardians; although they willingly allowed themselves to have the Etherlink spell cast on them because they wanted to save Ventuswill, all four of them had lives prior to their centuries-long slumber and with her death, it seemingly renders the sacrifices they made pointless. So, you know, there is an incredibly great potential for angst as well as character development if this becomes a "Okay, we failed to save Ventuswill, but we can speedrun the birth of the new Ventuswill" plot.

I'm sorry for the massive ramble. It is just strangely satisfying knowing that some genuinely valid criticisms of a game I adore have the potential to result in some incredibly tasty fanwork scenarios.

#rune factory #rune factory 4 #rf4 #rf4 ventuswill #spoilers

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iraprince · 2 years

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hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL

how'd you get past that?

not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.

it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.

ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.

i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.

on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.

sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")

also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."

if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.

when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.

i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!

#ira answers

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tearsoftime0086 · 6 months

Text

Zero-Sum Escape: A Close Reading of Code Veronica’s Steve Burnside

Introduction + Disclaimers

If you’re a friend/mutual/unfortunate witness to my discovery of Steve Burnside, you might’ve seen this coming. I’ve become an avid enjoyer of the character, which has led to some interesting discussions about him with friends! I’ve decided to write a small (edit: it was supposed to be small) piece on what makes him so interesting, using quotes and cutscenes from the original Code Veronica game. A lot of online discourse around Steve has historically been negative, so I hope this can be a positive primer for folks who want to learn more about him, or even an interesting curio for folks wondering why someone would do such an in-depth read for a one-off character.

This reading will focus strictly on Code Veronica (and not any of the Darkside Chronicles material) – with the full understanding that many aspects of the game are a product of their time, good and bad. I’ll try to cite my evidence as much as possible, but this will obviously be coming from a subjective and modern perspective as a fan of his character! I’m also a fairly new Resident Evil fan, so if anything’s incorrect, please forgive me and let me know! I’d be happy to make edits.

Anyway, this is all in good fun – and to anyone who even reads a single sentence of this, I appreciate your time!

Reference

As a way to “cite” dialogue and cutscenes, I’ll be including rough timestamps to this great video of Code Veronica cutscenes: https://youtu.be/ym46RPHqaSY?si=a6ItTpdOn3rCZq-U. Feel free to follow along, but the text should make sense without the video too.

So, who is this guy, anyway?

Let’s start with the basics. In the game Resident Evil – Code: Veronica (taking place shortly after RE:2), you start as Claire Redfield, recent prisoner of Rockfort Island. Unfortunately, Claire finds herself in the midst of another biohazard outbreak. And what’s worse is that during her escape, a stranger in a watchtower starts shooting at her indiscriminately! (0:05)

When the dust settles, Claire comes face to face with an abrasive teenager named Steve Burnside, a fellow prisoner on the island.

“Uh, sorry about that little misunderstanding…” (0:43)

This, alongside his attempts to be “smooth” – (I mean, who says “Relax beautiful…” unironically?) doesn’t do him any favors for most players. Not to mention his active derision of Claire’s skills – he leaves her with a few choice “tsks” and a “I don’t want you following me, lady. You’ll only slow me down.” (1:30).

This opening scene sets up a few key characteristics for Steve, which I’ll be referencing throughout this piece.

Steve is someone who makes numerous mistakes, ranging from purely accidental to sheer negligence.

Steve puts a heavy emphasis on reliability/dependability. He leaves Claire because he thinks she will “slow [him] down”. We’ll see more examples of his complex with “relying on others” later on.

Where do these traits leave us? A character that ends up being deeply paradoxical, and in my opinion, super fascinating because of it.

“You’ll just end up disappointed if you rely on others”

Claire finds Steve somewhat quickly afterwards, perusing information about her brother, Chris. I think it’s important to recognize Steve’s intent here. If he was purely focused on escaping (and leaving Claire behind), he wouldn’t have bothered looking for any records relating to her. Some folks may argue that he has a crush on Claire already, and is just following teenage impulses. But trust me, there’s more concrete evidence of teenage impulses later. For now, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was trying to help her out – it ties well with point 2.

Steve’s snooping reveals that Chris is being monitored by Umbrella. Claire immediately takes action, contacting Leon about it. At this point, Steve sarcastically tells her,

“That file shows latitude and longitude of this place. Tch, why don’t you send your brother the coordinates and ask him to come help?” (2:20)

When Claire takes him completely seriously, he becomes prickly.

S: “Hey? I was just kidding? There’s no way he could get here, even if he is your brother.” C: “Yes he can; I’m sure of it.” S: “No way. He won’t come. You’ll just end up disappointed if you rely on others. Believe me, I know!”

Steve’s sudden anger and exit demonstrate how much this topic of “reliability” affects him. He’s vocal about his need for self-reliance – and yet, if we take his investigation in a positive light, it’s not like he’s completely selfish in his attempt to escape Rockfort.

Steve is someone who desperately wants to believe in human reliability, and yet has been spurned due to the circumstances of his imprisonment. We’ll see that he tries to emulate it himself, but unfortunately (and perhaps realistically) falls short.

Yet, what really nurtures this desire is Claire – someone who he can finally depend on. The pair’s next encounter comes when Steve is in trouble (if you’ve seen the “Steve is suffering” memes, it’s from this scene). The player hears him yell a pitiful “Help me!” as he bangs against a locked door – so much for relying on yourself.

If Claire solves the puzzle fast enough, Steve escapes and tells her, “That was too close. But I found something. Thanks to… you.” (3:44).

Thus begins the two’s shaky partnership – and believe me, it’s shaky. Steve runs off yet again, only agreeing to give Claire the essential golden lugers if she trades him something “fully automatic”. But Steve’s obviously on better terms with her now, as seen when he emphatically tells her, “See? This is why you need me. I got your back,” later (5:10). Quite cooperative for someone who was crowing about not relying on others.

In the midst of these scenes is a growing desire to look good to Claire – to be someone she can count on.

The knight fantasy – and bitter reality

Steve ends up describing his own motivation pretty well. Claire finds herself stuck with a nasty Bandersnatch, before Steve dramatically comes to her rescue (more on this in the next section). Afterwards, he eagerly proclaims the following:

S: “Oh yeah, that felt good! Don’t worry Claire, your knight in shining armor is here!” C: “You wish – but thanks for the help.” S: “See? This is why you need me. I got your back.” (4:54)

Steve wants Claire to see him as someone she can rely on – as a self-proclaimed knight to save her from the influx of zombies. It’s why he tells her to wait as he clears out the following area with his “new toy” (6:35). He wants to be the hero who saves the day – Claire might not be able to count on others, but she can sure count on him. He even states it outright afterwards:

“See? You can depend on me.” (6:58)

But maybe this is too blatant of a turn even for him, because he immediately backs off and instead mentions his guns instead:

“You see? This thing is a lot more reliable than any person.” (6:59)

Claire takes immediate suspicion of this, however, and starts to ask questions.

C: “Than people?” S: “…” C: “Steve, what were you doing here? Who brought you here, and where’s your family?” S: “Shut up – I don’t want to talk about it!” *shoots his gun at the wall* C: “Steve…” S: “Never mind. Let’s get going.” (7:04)

Note that he punctures this conversation with an angsty emptying of his gun magazine at the wall. This is no knight – this is volatile, teenage behavior. Claire can tell there’s something on his mind, but Steve doesn’t seem to be in the condition to explain anything.

Steve does the same thing four times – aka, analyzing entrances

As a brief interruption (but it ties into the rest, I promise), let’s take a chance to look at the different ways Steve barges into a cutscene. Humor aside, Steve’s physical actions vary across the four different times he comes to Claire’s “rescue”.

Bandersnatch (4:30)

The first rescue is all cliches and edge. Claire’s “knight in shining armor” breaks through a window dramatically. He shoots at the Bandersnatch without even directly aiming at him, walking forward as he shoots with his dual wielded lugers. It’s almost comical as he walks straight up to the Bandersnatch, delivering a kick and single killing shot for good measure.

It’s all impractical – Steve’s incessant wish to dual wield would hardly be effective in real life, let alone everything else here. But this scene, cliche as it may be, reflects what Steve wants to be in front of Claire. He’s the action hero, the knight – the one who can be counted on to swoop in and save the day.

The Infamous Father Scene (8:13)

These heroics fail him once the two encounter his father. No longer is this a fantasy but bitter reality – and Steve can’t find it in him to shoot his infected dad. It’s only when Claire is in peril that he takes action – and this time, it’s impulsive and rough. He unloads all his ammo in a single, shaking shot, continuing to press the trigger even when it’s all gone.

It’s now that Steve tells Claire the full story – his father was caught trying to sell confidential Umbrella information, leaving his mother dead and the two of them locked up here. He morosely tells Claire, “He was a fool to do something so reckless! So stupid…” (10:15). We can see how much his father’s actions have impacted him – his desire for consistency comes from having his familial life ripped apart by the actions of someone he trusted dearly. And now, at the end of it, he is truly alone – the last one left in his family.

Alfred (11:07)

The next time we find Steve, we see a little bit of the Bandersnatch energy back in him – there’s the same aim, the same kick (to open the door) – but it’s less dramatic this time. There’s no slow-motion focus on shattered glass, no cocky final shot. In fact, this encounter leaves Steve visibly hurt – a crack in his armor. Steve’s still trying to be Claire’s dependable rescuer, and yet this encounter shows that he’s not the infallible knight he wishes to be. Far from it, considering the mistakes he'll make later on.

Alfred in Antarctica (21:30)

This cutscene skips forward a little, but it’s a nice final reminder that Steve does genuinely try his best to protect Claire, and succeeds! We see him take two stylish leaps and then shoot a quick few bullets to rescue her from Alfred. He’s still trying to emulate that knight image, but it’s more efficient than his Bandersnatch moment.

The Flight (and THAT SCENE)

After numerous troubles, Claire and Steve are finally able to escape the island. Needless to say, they’re elated and exhausted. Now that the coast is clear, Steve decides to get honest with Claire and apologize:

S: “Claire, I’m sorry. I know I caused a lot of trouble for you.” C: “No; it’s okay. It was hard for both of us.” S: “Well, I really hope you find your brother. I… I know what it’s like to be alone.” C: “Oh Steve…” S: *coughs awkwardly* “So, where should we go now? I can take you anywhere you want to go, Claire.” C: *laughs* “I hear Hawaii’s nice this time of year.” S: “You got it!” (14:20)

(On a personal note, isn’t this scene so cute? If only this was how it all ended…)

It’s here that Steve bares his heart to Claire. It’s clear that his mishaps and snarky remarks have been weighing on him too – he genuinely wants the best for her. When Claire is all too accepting and sympathetic, however, Steve begins to reveal his feelings (in… controversial ways).

After they find out that the plane is out of their control, the two of them take an uneasy rest. In the cutscene at 16:12, we find Claire leaning on Steve – a physical sign of how she relies on him. As if to follow his teenage impulses, Steve leans in for a kiss – only to startle as Claire begins to wake. His notion is thwarted immediately. Steve stands up,leans on the glass, slams the window and sighs.It shows signs of a “what was I thinking?” moment of clarity.

After all, kissing princesses in their sleep is something knights do in fairy tales. And Steve? Well, he’s no knight. He’s someone who’s almost hindered Claire’s escape as much as he’s helped, and he knows that. This thought is only exacerbated with his actions upon their arrival in Antarctica.

Antarctica, where more mistakes ensue

The plane decides to violently crashes into the side of the Umbrella Antarctica base. Steve kicks the door down and jumps first, reaching his arms out to catch Claire. She lands after, only to stumble and leave them both on the ground. Steve pulls her into a hug, which Claire doesn’t quite reciprocate. As she stands up, Steve lays back flat on the floor, sighing. It’s clear he’s jumped the gun, and it leaves him embarrassed. He doesn’t take Claire’s hand back up and tells her that they should split up to try and find a way out (18:55).

Steve’s love causes another mistake shortly after. The two of them try to break through the base wall with a digging vehicle, only for Steve to get distracted by Claire midway through. This causes a toxic gas pipe to burst – interestingly Steve tries to correct it through the controls – perhaps a reflection of his desires and fantasies for an “undo”. But in reality, he can’t undo his mistakes, and Claire is forced to grab him and leave the area.

This last mistake hits Steve particularly hard:

S: “It’s all my fault…” C: “Don’t say that. Listen to me – we’ll escape from here, together.” C: “Come on, we’ve got to shut off the gas. If we split up, we’ll have a better chance of stopping it.” S: *sighs* “…Okay.” C: “Steve. Don’t forget. We’ll get out of here. Together.” (20:45)

It’s not as if Steve is blind to his own faults – he knows that he’s been the one hindering their escape and takes it particularly hard. Claire has to reassure him multiple times that they’re working as a team to get out of here.

As a further blow to his ego, Steve is completely useless when the two exit the base and encounter Nosferatu, previous Alexander Ashford. Claire notices Nosferatu first, but Steve forces himself ahead of her soon after. He’s still clinging to the need to protect her.

However, Nosferatu easily knocks him off the platform, leaving him clinging to the side. Steve’s at his lowest here, and urges Claire to just leave him behind. If he can’t protect her, then what use is he?”

C: “Hold on, I’ll waste that monster and come back.” S: “Claire, forget about me. Run!” (23:50)

Claire’s resourcefulness and skill allow her to defeat Nosferatu and come back to Steve, still weakly hanging on. She pulls him back up, and Steve is left apologizing again for his rash behavior:

S: “I’m sorry. I failed you.” C: “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go.” *she leaves* S: “I swear I’ll protect you next time, Claire.” (25:15)

At this point, Steve’s all too aware of how his mistakes have left both of them in peril. It’s something that he deeply dislikes – as someone who wants to be dependable, he’s being a poor show of it. Claire’s been the one helping him out through most of this, both emotionally and physically. And so he makes himself a promise that next time, he’ll repay the favor.

It’s with this personal promise that the two climb aboard a snowmobile, hoping that they can make it to the Australia base. Unfortunately, this escape is a dead-end for them as well.

Sleep, weary knight

After Alexia awakens and destroys the snowmobile, Claire is rescued by Chris, who managed to find a way to Antarctica. She’s insistent that they must rescue Steve. She finds him cuffed to a chair in a long hallway, with an axe against his throat.

To Claire’s dismay, it seems she’s too late. Alexia has injected Steve with the t-Veronica virus. Steve’s last words before his transformation are a desperate plea for help. At this point, he’s actively asking for help from the one he loves, but fate has it that Claire is powerless. He begs Claire to save him, but she can only watch in despair as he morphs and chases after her.

In what seems to be a miracle of love, Steve manages to snap out of it just before he lands the killing blow. He instead slashes through Alexia’s entrapping vines, sparking her ire and a fatal blow to his chest. He dies in Claire’s arms, once again in human form, lamenting how he couldn’t protect her – how he couldn’t be her knight:

C: “Oh Steve…” S: *brings Claire’s hand to his cheek* “You’re… warm…” C: “Steve, you’ve got to hang in there, okay? My brother’s come to save us. We’re getting out of here!” S: “Your brother kept his promise. I’m sorry I cannot…” C: “What? What are you saying?” S: “I’m glad that I met you… I…. I love you… Claire…” C: “Steve? Steve?! Steve!” (34:15)

To players who dislike Steve, this may be a cheesy ending to a tedious character. And yet – we see Steve’s character arc complete fully in this final scene. No longer is he a volatile teenager, or a “cool” hero, or a self-perceived deadweight. He’s just Steve – utterly human Steve, who couldn’t keep his promise, and yet saved Claire in his own way. And it’s in these final, human, moments that he can confess his true feelings – only for everything – his façades, his love, everything – to all vanish.

The arm theory

As a somewhat lighter ending to this post, I’d like to discuss a little theory of mine.

People who have been following along with all the cutscenes might have noticed Steve’s right arm getting injured during the fight with Alfred. There’s no visual effect on his model, and Steve even claims, “I’m fine; it’s just a scratch” (11:30). And yet I’m convinced that it was quite a serious wound.

Note that he continues clinging to the platform in the Nosferatu battle with his left hand (24:40), not his right. Yet he keeps clutching his right arm in the cutscene after (25:44). And more importantly, Claire is the one driving the snowmobile during their escape attempt, after Steve had taken the wheel so many times prior (25:59). My theory is that the deterioration of his right arm is also why the arm is significantly skinnier upon his final transformation. If you look super closely at the bottom of the screen, you can actually see his right hand convulse as he mutates! Does this imply anything? Not really. But it would be cool to see this brought back somehow in a hypothetical remake, especially as Darkside Chronicles skipped these parts entirely. Kind of reminds me of another Resident Evil character who had arm injuries…

Anyway, if anyone made it this far, thank you! I hope this was a little insight into why I appreciate Steve so much as a character – and maybe in my wildest dreams, made you potentially enjoy him too.

#resident evil #resident evil: code veronica #recv #steve burnside #claire redfield #bits and baubles #temporary brainworm tag #aka my long meta post for steve that I hope did him justice

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morganacorp · 1 month

Note

Lol

Grace getting her facial and her phone keeps dinging because Sadie's in the middle if her bi-awakening.

Text #1: where u at?

Text #2 & #3: Grace! ?

Text #4: i thought u were coming 2 spin class!

Text #5: i gave lola3 ur latte

Text #6: r u really not coming? i'll save you Aseat just in case

Text #7: nvmnd. this class is huge. tried to fight off an old lady to keep your bike open. Ur welcome

Text #8: omg grace this place smells like wet socks

Text #9: kimberkyn says ur getting a facial. rude

Text #10 & #11: lola says hi BTW. Hi

Text #12: *picture of Sadie and Lola and Kimberlyn* bout to get sweaty!

Text #13: the instructor said we can't have our phones. so peace out! ✌️😋

*missed call*

Text #14: ohmygod grace answer your phone!

Text #15: ok. it's nothing. it's probably nothing. don't worry about it. it's fine. i'll tell you later.

*missed call*

Text #16: ok. so this is probably gonna get long and there will be typosz bc i don't have a lotg of time bcz i had to sneak 2 the bthrm bc i need 2 tell u something but we can't have our phones on the bikes which is so dumb bc I can multitask its not like I'm gonna

Text #17: sorry. lola scared me. o thought it was the instructor. anyway listen there is this girl. no. not just a girl. she is a woman. like a sculpted by the gods woman in this class and she has like. The most insanely perfect ripples i have ever seen and like her eyes are nice too BTW but we were changing un the same room and she just

Text #18: sorry i think the memory made me black out. God. Like. Look. I know it's not okay to objectify someone just because we're in a environment that encourages tight fitting clothing and vigorous rhythmic activity but u don't understand grace. she is gorgeous and omg she laughed when I asked if she knew where the vending machines were and i think my heart kind jumped out of my body because she sounded so sweet. and I want to talk to her again but I also can't fucking breathe because spin class is hard and i already drank all of my water and lola's too and i hate that ur not here. There I said it. I can usually be more put together when ur arounfe but

Text #19: her eyes are green btw

Text #20: not even like gross green. they are like perfect and not even the same color which is somehow even better and they have like stars in them not even lying

Text #21: and she has her hair in a braid and she got kinda sweaty so there's little wisps sticking out around her face and i never like licking sweaty ppl but like if she asked

Text #22: oh shot. i didn't mean that. idk why my mind went to licking her face instead of kissing her like a normal person

Text #23: that would b normal right? i mean iv nver rlly thought abt it b4. not really. but i watched glee. i know it usually hits in high school and obvi it didn't 4 me so this is mayb just bc i only had two donuts this morning instead of 3

Text #24: omg she asked kimberlyn if I have ibs while I was gone. I hate everythibg

Text #25: fyi i took a quiz a minute ago and turns out glee lied

Text #26: i wanted to ask lola if she has like a booklet for ppl questioning their. Preferences but i think mayb it would b easier if u asked for me

Text #27: fuck this is all so weird

Text #28: but also not. it's scary nit weird. like I thought admiring Walker got a little too intense but this is. This is something else

Text #29: ive eaten some beef jerkey and i think it's too soon to think about kissing her. it feels too invasive. so I'm just gonna keep watching her ass in class

Text #30: thnx btw 4 all ur help grace. U r rlly good 2 talk 2

Text #31: ^sarcasm fyi

Text #32: omg her name is lena. isn't that nice? i think that is the most beautiful name in the whole wide world

Text #34: i think she waved at me

Text #35: damn. it was oneof her friends walking outside the door

Text #36: her whole name is lena kieran luthor. and her birthday is October 13.

Text #37: and no she didnt tell me that i looked through her purse while pretending to have ibs and hiding in the bathroom. she uses Christian Dior perfume. i think I have a problem

Text #38: grace can u please call me so I can just leave??

Text #39: i feel like everyone knows. they keep talking about me i can feel it

Text #40: omg she helped the little old lady in front of me asjust her settings on the bike. She's so nice. i bet she saves puppies and orphans in her spare time. angel in disguise right there

Text #41: how long is this fucking spin class?!

Text #42: lola was talking about a gay show called the bold type. will u watch it with me so I can see how a normal heterosexual would react?

Text #43: lena offered me a drink from her water bottle and i didn't even worry about germs. I just went for it

Text #44: how long is ur fucking facial?! Y haven't u texted me back?!

Text #45: only 5 more minutes. I can do this

Text #46: I think lens was flirting with lola and I wish I had laser vision so I could set everything on Fire this is awful

Text #47: my heart is broken

Text #48: nvmnd. she touched my arm and said she likes my shirt.

Text #49: I'm wearing one of kimberlyns work out shirts BTW but that's not the point. She likes it on me. So kimberkyn is never getting this back

Text #50: omg! Grace! Grace!

Text #51: she recommended we get kombucha after class. Idk what that is but I would eat anything for her

Text #52: Lola says kombucha tastes like ass and kimberkyn says we have to get back ;(

Text #53: SEE THIS IS WHY I NEED YOU HERE YOU COULD VOTE TO GO GET KOMBUCHA WITH ME

Text #54: NOOOO ILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. GOODBYE BEAUTIFUL GODDESS GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

Reply: lol

Text #55: ur laughing. i bear my broken soul to u and ur laughing

Text #56: Not Cool Grace

ANON THIS IS HILARIOUS 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Thank you so much for this, it has made my night! There's so many gems hidden in here... I'm in tears! 😂😂😂

#lena luthor #the girls on the bus #sadie mccarthy

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idontknowreallywhy · 6 months

Text

Estera Ch 6 - Safe

(Prologue, Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5)

(Sofasurf’s Recrudescence which is the foundation for all of this)

Scott’s fled for the skies. Estera needs to find someone’s inhaler. But what happens next?

Well. Some details follow.

My usual blend of fluff and “Yikes”…

Confession - this got a teeny bit dark in the last section. If you want to stop reading at the end of the fluffy bit (you’ll know it when you see it) then there is zero judgment from me. I even make myself go “Yikes” with that one…

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

The authorities had called her a cab home, the hired coach having been sent away when all the parents arrived in person to collect their children. Although she had protested at the expense - surely there was a bus route somewhere nearby - she hadn’t had the energy to argue.

Thus she sat alone in the back seat trying to collect her thoughts. They resisted collection in a way that made cat herding look like a relaxing past time. So she fidgeted, putting on her cardigan then removing it again, retying her hair, rearranging the contents of her rucksack. Which she’d already done ten minutes before. She tried to force herself to calm down and turned to look out the window, her forehead meeting the glass with a surprisingly loud clunk.

“There’s a universal charging cable under the seat, Miss, and free WiFi if you’d like to use it.”

Of course there was. Couldn’t escape it these days. She didn’t want to appear rude so she smiled, thanked him and dutifully plugged in her battered mobile.

It flickered to life and within seconds several messages popped up… from her sister, a couple of friends, her elderly neighbour, even her hairdresser - clearly today’s events had hit the news. She drafted a quick reassurance, copied it to everyone and put the device down. She felt weirdly detached. It seemed strange that everyone was freaking out about her having been stuck in a cave when that had paled into utter insignificance compared to the shock she had experienced afterwards.

How could it be possible? He couldn’t have escaped, could he? If it hadn’t been for his reaction she’d have persuaded herself she was imagining things. But his reaction had been… compelling.

She picked up the phone again and opened a browser

‘International Rescue Scott’

An overwhelming plethora of photographs and articles and, wow ok, actual fan pages sprang up.

Most of the photos were distant, or amateur and blurry but his unmistakeable blue eyes shone out at her from the official ones - profile shots for International Rescue, some charity positions and… she gulped… he was the multi-billionaire CEO of one of the biggest companies on the planet. Even she knew of Tracy Industries - they were one of the good ones. A school in one of the more difficult neighbourhoods nearby had just had a complete IT infrastructure upgrade thanks to a grant from them.

His official TI profile confirmed his Air Force background, with honourable discharge after active duty. It didn’t say where that was but she knew.

Oh, she knew.

She skimmed some of the more gushing articles. All fairly light on objective facts but weighty on opinion and that opinion was pretty much universal - he was a hero, beloved by millions, a undoubted force for good in an often cruel and selfish world.

And she’d left him to die.

She closed the browser, no longer able to bear the accusation in his eyes.

“Are you alright, Miss?”

The taxi driver was watching her in the rear view mirror.

“I’m fine. Thank you.“

She let out a breath as his eyes returned to the road ahead. But he wasn’t done:

“Long day was it?”

“Something like that.”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

For the second time in as many months Virgil vowed to chase Brains up on the speed upgrade to Two. It was absolutely pointless trying to catch up to his brother who could be halfway to anywhere by now. Thankfully, he had John and Five.

“Virgil! He’s heading back your way.”

“What?”

“One just did a U-Turn. She’s heading straight for you.”

“What do you mean “straight”?”

“A collision course. Virgil, I think you should get ready to take evasive action.”

Even at a moderate speed the two birds making any kind of head on contact…even a wing clip, meant mutually assured destruction. Was Two nimble enough to avoid that?

Scott would never risk Virgil being hurt.

But… he remembered the cold, unfamiliar look on the former fighter-pilot’s face as he’d spun to face him not ten minutes before. Was his brother in a state to know who was flying the ship chasing him down?

Virgil bit back a scream.

“Can’t EOS…?”

“No. She can’t. He’s blocked her access.”

Virgil looked down at the Atlantic far below him. Could he drop his ship safely on the surface of the water? He cut his speed.

“I’m tracking her path, I’ll tell you when to move.”

This couldn’t be happening. He tried the comm again, fighting to keep his voice calm and unthreatening:

“Scotty? Can you hear me bro? It’s me, Virgil. Please pick up? Please?”

“25 seconds, Virgil. Start reducing altitude.”

White knuckled, he tipped Two’s nose downwards and went to accelerate.

“Wait!”

“What? What???!”

“It’s ok. It’s ok, he’s adjusted course to pass on your port side. I’m… I misunderstood what… I’m sorry to have worried you.” John sounded almost light headed.

With her familiar crack-boom One shot past in a blur. Virgil flinched as her vapour trail crystallised on her sister’s windscreen for a few moments. He levelled Two off and pulled up the graphical readout of One’s tracker. Scott appeared to have done one of his signature handbrake turns and was heading back towards him at a more sedate pace… the rocket’s trajectory heading safely to the left of Two. Gleaming silver came into view alongside and Scott matched the green ship’s pace, the way he often did on journeys home from the more difficult rescues. Those times when Virgil knew his big brother needed company more than the adrenaline rush of g force and extreme speed.

The comm remained muted, but they were together. And that, until they got home at least, was all that mattered.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

The lift was broken again and Estera truly empathised with it as she dragged herself to the 5th floor. Her limbs were jelly and once she was on the right side of her front door she considered just lying down in the hall and having done with it. At which point 60 kilos of floof and enthusiasm canonballed into her and she realised with a quiet groan that she had to take him out before he destroyed everything in her apartment. Glancing down at her dusty sleeves as they contrasted with Bez’s snowy fur, she resolved to shower and change first else people would think she’d just escaped from a disaster zone.

Not so different from the state she was in when she first got here come to think of it. The darkness of the following few days in Processing crowded in on her and she didn’t have the energy to push it away. It was all too close to the surface today.

Bez licked the salt off her cheek.

With what felt like superhuman effort she dragged herself upright. At least here she had her own shower. And clean towels. Squeezing past the wall of hair she made it to the kitchen, draped her coat and bag over the back of a chair and spotted the note on the table:

Walked Niebieski. Soup in fridge. Glad you are safe.

Edith & George

She blinked back more tears. The elderly couple next door were an absolute godsend.

Ok. Shower. Soup. Stupid movie to prevent too much thought. Could maybe make some popcorn. That was a plan.

She did like a plan.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

The pool slid closed overhead and Scott allowed himself a few moments to sit back and breathe before regrouping and running through the comfortingly routine process of post-flight checks. His shoulder twinged sharply and that itchy trickling sensation reminded him that steristrips were no match for the physicality of flying a supersonic jet.

His vision lurched as her voice came back to him and he desperately focussed on grounding himself. He could hear the creaking of cooling engines, feel the harness over his shoulders, the seat beneath and around him. Wait, something else was off too. Something was pressing uncomfortably into his hip… he leaned to the side to extract the item from his baldric. A tiny Thunderbird 2 looked up from his palm, accusingly. His hand shook and the toy dropped, hitting the deck far below with a distant ping.

He stared down into the abyss.

Virgil was right. It wasn’t safe. HE wasn’t safe. If he couldn’t trust his mind to stay on track then he couldn’t be trusted. How could he keep his brothers safe from the world when he couldn’t even keep them safe from himself?

He tightened his fingers around the levers, every inch of the ship’s controls so familiar it was like an extension of his own limbs. Closer to him than his flight suit in a way. One was a part of him. IR was a part of him. Maybe the majority part. Certainly the best part.

If he couldn’t do this… then…

No. He shouldn’t think like that. He just needed more time. He flicked the switch to extend the chair and took a purposeful step down on to the gantry.

He had an apology to deliver.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Virgil looked down at his twitching, sleeping brother and fought back the urge to bear hug him and never let go. There had been plenty of those earlier. Scott begging for forgiveness he didn’t need. Virgil and John trying to reassure him, their words seeming so powerless and both desperately hoping that holding him tight could somehow piece their hero back together.

He hadn’t expected the honesty. That was new.

Scott had looked Virgil in the eye and told him he was right. He wasn’t ready, he wasn’t safe, he wasn’t ok. Virgil had shaken his head, denying the words he’d said over and over this last week. He didn’t want to be right. It was too painful. It wasn’t fair.

But Scott had been adamant - he was grounding himself for another fortnight. He needed time to process. Something had triggered him, he acknowledged that much, but he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. He’d lowered his eyes and quietly asked if they wouldn’t mind staying with him because he didn’t want to be alone.

As if he could stop them.

And so the six of them crowded into the lounge in a nest of blankets, fluffy cushions and rogue bits of popcorn. Scott had sagged against Virgil’s shoulder and passed out not half an hour into the film. John curled on big brother’s other side, if he was asleep it was likely with one eye open. Allie and Gordon were a tangle of limbs on the floor while Kayo dozed with her head atop the pile.

They’d get through this together as they always had. As Virgil watched, Scott sighed in his sleep and his face relaxed. He was here and he was safe. Hopefully tonight the nightmares would leave him in peace.

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Estera braced her feet and shoulders against the splintering wood and bit through her lip as she tried to remain silent despite the terror of the world tilting and sliding. The rumble of aircraft engines filled her head to the point where she wondered if she could even remember any other sound. But she knew where she was. This was to be expected. It would end soon. It had to.

The unsecured packing crate slammed into something again, her head rebounding painfully off the inside and she was consumed by nausea. The tiniest sob escaped and she froze. With a click the lid was opened and blinding light flooded into her streaming eyes as she tried to focus on the figure leaning towards her. It was him! Was she saved? Was she safe?

No.

Dread filled every cell of her body. Vivid blue eyes looked down at her but they were unseeing. A dark line ran from the corner of his mouth and then red, sickly gleaming red was everywhere. His blood was everywhere and it was her fault. His body fell heavily on top of her and the lid was slammed shut and she screamed for help until her throat burned.

Nobody came.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #scott tracy #virgil tracy #john tracy #idontknowreallywhy fanfic #Estera #Tw: ptsd #Tw: implied violence #Tw: mild horror #TB Estera

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