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cullen-collective · 3 years

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do it. write it. do it

Say. Less.

There’s never anyone actually interesting in these chats.

There’s me, who actually wants to discuss music, the way it feels, the lyrics’ poetic meanings, the way the drums crash like they’re my own heartbeat. And then there’s guys who might want to discuss that, but are probably here for the other occupants of the forum: girls obsessed with band members. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against them, and I fully understand geeking out over Pete Wentz (although I’ve always been more of a Stump girl) or Gerard Way or even Chester Bennington. I just keep having to switch to new forums when it’s clear that no one else wants to talk about the music, but instead have guys who claim to look like Adam Lazarra scam the email addresses and photos off those girls.

Which brings me here, to another new forum chat, scrolling through older posts about who drums harder: Travis Barker or Mike Kinsella, as the chat scrolls by on the right side of the screen. I was mindlessly scrolling, mentally agreeing or disparaging the opinions of other posters, too scared to comment. This site was pretty neat, and the account I’d had to create to post comments and chat had spaces for a list of my favorites, which I’d happily included. It also had a little bio, which I’d filled in with my name and age, as well as one of my favorite lyrics.

I kept one eye on the chat as it went, keeping up with the current discussion of how best to cut your bangs. I typed up a quick note that the best way to cut your bangs was to see a local hairdresser so you didn’t end up with Buffy season three bangs instead of the side-sweep you wanted.

Emo-ward: But is it really, truly in the spirit of punk rock if you don’t cut them yourself?

HellsBells: I think to be a real punk, you’d probably need to like different bands. To be alt, you can visit a salon or resign yourself to botched hair.

Emo-ward: Seems like the majority is going to choose the second option.

HellsBells: Well, sometimes we must suffer for the cause.

Emo-Ward wants to send you a private message. Accept. Decline.

I was stunned. No one ever requested me. My cursor hovered over “Accept”, my finger twitching. My mother, as scattered as she was, had always warned me about being too open online. What if this was like, a forty-five year old man who preyed on kids in chat rooms? What if it was a serial killer? What if it was someone from school trying to humiliate me? What if it was a kid from school who wanted to humiliate me and also did a little serial killing on the side?

Okay, I was being ridiculous. I knew nothing about this person. Hell, I hadn’t even looked at their profile. So I right-clicked the name in the chat and opened another window to his profile. Like mine, the profile had no picture, and instead had a graphic. It was Gerard Way but his hair had been edited to be bright green. I snorted, remembering my own, which was Britney Spears edited with a scene girl haircut that this chick in my Western Civ class had emailed to me as a joke after seeing the Ataris CD in my portable player. The name listed was Edward, the age as 16, and he had a lyric on his profile too.

“Watching from the floor.”

I recognized it, small as it was. It was from “Dear Maria, Count Me In”. I was a little surprised. Great song choice.

It seemed he wasn’t too sketchy.

I went back to the original page, steeled my nerves and hit “Accept.”

Emo-ward: Do you really have time in your veins?

My tongue pressed to the inside of my cheek. If this really was a sixteen-year-old boy, I was in trouble. He had just referenced the lyric in my bio, (from “Understanding In A Car Crash”: “It starts and stops and starts and stops again.”) and made it a joke. I had to one-up him.

HellsBells: Yes. I am also a pen.

Emo-ward: Where are you from, girl with time in her veins who is somehow also a pen?

I smiled at my screen. I couldn’t help it. He was kind of funny.

HellsBells: Forgive me, sir, if I’m not very specific. I’m from the Southwest. You?

Emo-ward: Well, miss, I will follow suit. I’m from the Northwest.

There was something about the way he wrote that made me want to trust him. Maybe it was that we had similar chat styles. Although… My mother had always said I talked like I was sixty. What if he was sixty?! Edward is an old man's name.

HellsBells: You kind of talk like an old guy, you know that, right?

Emo-ward: That’s because I’m 104.

HellsBells: Wow. You use the internet pretty well for a senior citizen.

Emo-ward: They had us take a class. So, what’s your favorite album right now?

I smiled. Funny, and hopefully not an old guy.

HellsBells: Will you stop talking to me if I say Take This to Your Grave?

Emo-ward: Only if you stop talking to me for saying mine is Meteora.

HellsBells: Only if you tell me your favorite song off the album is Numb. That’s where I draw the line.

Emo-ward: While that song isn’t my favorite, it’s pretty good. Anyway, the actual favorite is Somewhere I Belong.

I thought about that for a minute. I liked that song, but I hadn’t listened to it a lot. I’d have to give it another go. I had Meteora around here somewhere. I found the album in my bookshelf, put it in my portable player, and put the headphones on. I skipped to the right track, and let it play while I answered.

HellsBells: Not that you asked, but mine is Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes.

Emo-ward: Aggressive. I like it.

I burst out laughing. Out loud. In my house. On a school night. At eleven.

“Bella?” my mom called from across the hall. “Are you on the computer?”

Shit. “Uh… no?”

I heard Mom start giggling. “Go to bed, kid!”

“Okay!” I grimaced at the screen. No way I was ever going to hear from this guy again. But… I had to try, right? He was funny, and he had great taste in music.

HellsBells: Well, grandpa, if you can get the orderlies at the nursing home to let you use the computer on Friday, I’ll be here. Until then, I’m not an adult and have to deal with things like school nights.

Emo-ward: I’m sorry about that. I never sleep, so my school nights are exactly like regular nights. I’ll be here.

I shook my head at that, holding in a giant smile. You know what, fuck it, I let the smile loose. It wasn’t like he could see me. And I let “Somewhere I Belong” play on repeat until I fell asleep.

#twilight #the twilight saga #edward cullen #bella swan #fic #my writing #thanks so much for the permission #like for part two

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hellsbellssinclub · 8 months

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That feeling when you smash out 5120 words in five hours of fucking around when you are supposed to be writing a 1500 word lit review for your BA.

In other news please expect a one shot for Mortal Kombat in the next coming days as I edit this word vomit down.

There is something very nice and freeing about writing one shots that I have forgotten the feeling of. I have other Mortal Kombat fic ideas but I am willing to take prompts. Especially horror or supernatural prompts because I am already in the spooky mood.

The one shot is sole survivor/slasher horror if anyone is interested. I drew the prompt words from a hat and word vomited. Poor Kuai has not fun time.

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#mortal kombat #mortal kombat fic #kuai liang does not have a fun time in this fic #he is a final girl and doesn’t even get to be a proper final girl and fight his way out of it #send me prompts if you wanna see me be mean to kuai liang #mortal kombat 1 comes out in a week and I can’t find any spoilers so I’m just chilling #writing fanfic instead of doing homework god do I feel like a teenager again

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hellsbellssinclub · 7 months

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How the fuck did this fic turn into smut? It was supposed to be survival horror and I haven’t even gotten to the horror just surprised kinky smut that I am now ashamed to be writing

Wtf brain. Wtf

#my writing prompt to myself was “hunted down”’#not touch starved person will do anything to be touched in kindness and that anything includes sexy times with someone they really shouldn’t #I am very ashamed of this and am thinking of making it anonymous on a03 because I’m not sure I want this connected to my name #then again there is only like 3 people I know IRL who still know who I am on here #I have accidentally awoken things in me I didn’t know I liked and I am now confused #this fic was supposed to be horror related for Halloween #can I put this down as kintober instead of scartober?#😳😳😳 my writing #oh gods what have I done to myself #hellsbells wrote something!!!

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hellsbellssinclub · 2 months

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I have 2 main WIPs that I haven’t posted yet (not related to my OTHER WIPs that I have still yet to update sorry not sorry) that I need to finish and post.

However I have new idea in my brain that pops up whenever I listen to my writing playlist. Which is annoying. Because I need to finish these two off first because they are both one shots /possible series that will have one shots and not multiple chapters.

It does not help that these two new fics are for Moon Knight and Mortal Kombat. So I have confused my files because I did not order my word documents correctly. They both have MK and well… I am very silly sometimes. Started writing about the moon boys instead of the assassin boys and took forever to fix my writing.

And I still have essays to write but that is neither here nor there. I’ll worry about those last minute as I always do and cry about it later. Who needs a bachelors degree anyway?

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#well not yet anyway #if you wanna hear me shout about my fics hit me up #I’m 11k in for one fic and 18k in the other and there is no sign of stopping at this point #I don’t know how to write small fics anymore #everything is long and many words #maybe I should challenge myself into writing shorter things?#nah I’m having too much fun

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hellsbellssinclub · 2 years

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I spent my first weekend off writing nearly 9k for a fic that had less the 30 kudos but damn do I feel good about writing again.

I have missed it. Being able to just sit and word vomit a story onto a word doc and just post it up without a care. I have missed making stories that while I LOVE the fact that others enjoy it, they are at the end of the day for me.

These are my stories. The ones I imagine in my head while listening to playlist I made for the mood I was in. They are half written dreams that I try to put on paper to make sense of them but they never come out quite how I imagined them to be.

I miss the freedom of writing.

You don’t realise how burned out you have become when you finally have a day off to do something you love and you just ache in your heart when you are done because this is what has been missing from your life.

The clicking of the keyboard. The soft sound of the writing playlist on your ears. Your phone is on silent so you won’t be disturbed. All those little ideas and words flowing into the page without you even truely having to think of it because it just works and you know it does because you have told this story so many time in your head you already know where you need to go.

I’m tired. Very tired. I haven’t had a proper break in a long long time but this? This makes me happy. Like a hot bath on a rainy day kind of happy. I don’t care if I don’t get any new kudos or comments, the fact I got to write again is enough for me.

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#writing is hard #I have been working 6 or 7 days a week for the past who fucking knows #but now I’m in control of my roster for once #I have two jobs and I can choose my hours and that is a freedom I haven’t had in a long time #I may need the money but I can rest you know? I got enough to cover rent and bills #the rest is just extra at this point and while I do need that extra I think I need to rest too #burned out and drained is what I am think

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hellsbellssinclub · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: One Piece Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates, Monkey D. Garp & Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy & Portgas D. Ace, Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks & Monkey D. Luffy, Coby & Monkey D. Luffy, Coby & Helmeppo (One Piece), Coby & Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates, Monkey D. Garp & Portgas D. Ace, Crocodile/Buggy (past), Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks & Buggy Characters: Monkey D. Luffy, Coby (One Piece), Monkey D. Garp, Monkey D. Dragon, Akainu | Sakazuki, Roronoa Zoro, Nami (One Piece), Usopp (One Piece), Vinsmoke Sanji, Tony Tony Chopper, Brook (One Piece), Franky (One Piece), Nico Robin, Jinbei (One Piece), Portgas D. Ace, Portgas D. Rouge, Gol D. Roger, Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates, Buggy (One Piece), Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks, Sengoku The Buddha, Aokiji | Kuzan, Kizaru | Borsalino, Original Characters, Crocodile (One Piece) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Not A Fix-It, If you went back in time could you really fix anything?, Is Cop Mentality a thing in the Marines? I say yes so that is going to be explored, Portgas D. Ace Lives, Cause I said so and I want more drama, Consequences to actions you have long forgotton about, Man the Marines do a lot of bad things in the name of justice, lets go and explore that and how it affects people, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Luffys trademark sunshine smile can only fix so much, Competent!Buggy, Exploring what the Marines are and how they have changed over the years, Original Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit, What is at the end of the world?, And just who is in control of the World Government?, Protective Mugiwara no Ichimi | Straw Hat Pirates, Mugiwara no Ichimi | Straw Hat Pirates As Family Summary:

If given the chance, would you go back in time to change the past?

With the War to end all Wars lost, several different survivors are given the chance to go back in time to right the wrongs that have occured and hopefully set things right again.

But the past is not something that can be meddled with lightly. Actions and their consequences have far reaching affects that you can never control.

You are not the same person you were yesterday; but the actions you have commited are still remembered and ingrained into your soul and the souls of those whom you have wronged.

New fic by yours truely!

#one piece #one piece fic #monkey. d. luffy #koby one piece #hellsbells wrote something!!!

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hellsbellssinclub · 4 years

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That feeling when you have a non fic writing idea(s) that revolve around the same characters and similar plot line of one (1) main idea but you are so used to having 1000 ideas with the same characters that you honestly don’t know which story idea to go with.

Like, there is the possible multi book murder mystery one that spans 3 books, following a female lead

The one where the female lead from above looses her memory and has to try and find out who she once was and what her past is while being manipulated (well meaning and otherwise) by family and people who she should call friend but doesn’t know if she could trust.

And then there is the one where the female leads brother is the lead and follows him as he tries to solve murder mysteries and constantly is stopped or interrupted by his sister ( who he doesn’t know is his sister)

Like, all three ideas are great and I have created worlds and dialogue in my head for them but fuck me I don’t know where to start or which to do and now I’m just 😠😠😠😠

I wanna write, I do. But unlike with fanfic, I don’t know where to start or what to start with 😭

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#im going to write one of these sooner or later #i just dont know which one #i have written like 1.5k on the third one but i didnt likw how it came out #writing is hard #urgh non fic writing is hard

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hellsbellssinclub · 4 years

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New chapter yo! Check it out!

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#writing is hard #batman #havent updated in a year but pretty proud of myself not gonna lie

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hellsbellssinclub · 5 years

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Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Under the Red Hood, Red Hood: Lost Days, Batman (Comics), Robin (Comics) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & BatFam, Jason Todd & Talia al Ghul Characters: Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Roy Harper, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Bart Allen, Cassie Sandsmark, Koriand'r (DCU), Garfield Logan, Raven (DCU), Talia al Ghul, Ra's al Ghul, Clark Kent, Diana (Wonder Woman), J'onn J'onzz, John Constantine Additional Tags: Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Mind Control, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Dealing With Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Description of Injuries, Injury Recovery, Jason Todd Has Issues, Bruce Wayne Has Issues and acknowledges that he messed up, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Past Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul is a good mother, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Damian Wayne is a good little murder child who is learning to be a little brother, Dick Grayson is a Good Brother, Reconciliation, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake is Robin, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Stephanie Brown is Spoiler, Cassandra Cain is Batgirl, I am making my own canon up as I go along, Jason Todd has a potty mouth, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Suicidal Thoughts Series: Part 2 of All this black and cruel is fair, this is an emergency Summary:

*Follows straight from the end of Can You See Me Now*

Recovering from Mind Control is never easy. For heroes or for anyone else. Hours after mostly breaking the conditioning Ra's had installed in him, Jason finds himself in a locked room in the Watchtower. There is only one way in or out of the room and there is nothing to do but await for someone to announce his fate.

Jason finds out the hard way that the implication of mind control are more far reaching than just simply doing something against your will. Recovery is slow and other people can either help or hinder you, if you allow them. Misunderstandings and Miscommunications are addressed and the reasons for actions and events are revealed.

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#batman #jason todd #roy harper #j'onn j'onzz #batman fic

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hellsbellssinclub · 6 years

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Chapters: 32/? Fandom: Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Doctor Who (2005), Star Wars Prequel Trilogy Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Donna Noble, The 10th Doctor, Qui-Gon Jinn, Original Characters Additional Tags: If the Doctor met Obi before he went to Bandomer, Half awake idea that suddenly took over the world, sad Obi is sad but he will get his hugs, Donna Noble is a badass, Obi-Wan's no good very bad day gets better, angst with a happy ending to come, minor character death (of a child), Crossover, adventure time with The Doctor and Donna Series: Part 1 of Across the Stars Verse Summary:

Young Obi-Wan is having the most strangest and tiring week of his life. He has been kicked out the Order because of some stupid lie that Bruck Chan accused him of. He is all alone in a space port. And there is some menacing man trying to jab him with something!

Thank the Force that there is a loud woman with bright red hair and her strangely dressed companion there to help him out!

Obi-Wan meets two of the most amazing people he has ever come across in his short life and when they offer him the chance of a life time, Obi-Wan jumps to the chance to explore all of time and space with his new friends.

#Across the Stars #hellsbells wrote something!!!#doctor who #star wars #obi wan kenobi #10th doctor #donna noble #plo koon #qui-gon jinn #doctor who/star wars

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hellsbellssinclub · 6 years

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Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Under the Red Hood, Red Hood: Lost Days, Batman (Comics), Robin (Comics) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & BatFam, Jason Todd & Talia al Ghul Characters: Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Roy Harper, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Bart Allen, Cassie Sandsmark, Koriand'r (DCU), Garfield Logan, Raven (DCU), Talia al Ghul, Ra's al Ghul, Clark Kent, Diana (Wonder Woman), J'onn J'onzz, John Constantine Additional Tags: Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Mind Control, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Dealing With Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Description of Injuries, Injury Recovery, Jason Todd Has Issues, Bruce Wayne Has Issues and acknowledges that he messed up, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Past Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul is a good mother, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Damian Wayne is a good little murder child who is learning to be a little brother, Dick Grayson is a Good Brother, Reconciliation, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake is Robin, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Stephanie Brown is Spoiler, Cassandra Cain is Batgirl, I am making my own canon up as I go along, Jason Todd has a potty mouth, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Suicidal Thoughts Series: Part 2 of All this black and cruel is fair, this is an emergency Summary:

*Follows straight from the end of Can You See Me Now*

Normally, whenever Jason goes somewhere new or is placed inside a room he does not know, he takes the time to search the place as thoroughly as he can. He looks for listening devices, bombs, cameras and other bits and pieces that could come and bite him on the ass later on. His training from Bruce and from the League of Assassins left him with instincts that could rarely be ignored.

Jason ignored those hard-taught instincts now. He was honestly too exhausted, both mentally and physically, to expend the energy to be bothered searching the room he had been given.

There were always cameras and listening devices in the guest suites of the Watchtower. Every single room and corridor of the Watchtower had cameras and listening devices; it was both a safety precaution and a warning system in case anything happens. Jason was not stupid enough to believe that there would not be anything or anyone watching him as they waited for Martian Manhunter to return.

Even if Martian Manhunter confirms that Jason has been nothing more than a puppet for the entire time of his second life and thus needs to be ‘rescued’, he knows that he would still be watched one way or another. Same goes if it does turn out that Jason is actually mostly in his right mind and that what he had done to Tim was just a supervillain being a dick to the Robins, both former and present.

So rather than searching the room and mapping out the locations of the cameras and listening devices, Jason walked over to the bathroom with the bag of clothes Harper brought for him.

#Leave the past find nowhere #batman #jason todd #hellsbells wrote something!!!#tim drake #roy harper #martian manhunter #j'onn j'onzz #red hood #robin #batman fic

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hellsbellssinclub · 6 years

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Chapters: 1/?

Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Under the Red Hood, Red Hood: Lost Days, Batman (Comics), Robin (Comics)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & BatFam, Jason Todd & Talia al Ghul

Characters: Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Roy Harper, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Bart Allen, Cassie Sandsmark, Koriand'r (DCU), Garfield Logan, Raven (DCU), Talia al Ghul, Ra's al Ghul, Clark Kent, Diana (Wonder Woman), J'onn J'onzz, John Constantine

Additional Tags: Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Mind Control, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Dealing With Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Description of Injuries, Injury Recovery, Jason Todd Has Issues, Bruce Wayne Has Issues and acknowledges that he messed up, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Past Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul is a good mother, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Damian Wayne is a good little murder child who is learning to be a little brother, Dick Grayson is a Good Brother, Reconciliation, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake is Robin, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Stephanie Brown is Spoiler, Cassandra Cain is Batgirl, I am making my own canon up as I go along, Jason Todd has a potty mouth, Jason Todd Needs A Hug

Series: Part 2 of All this black and cruel is fair, this is an emergency

Summary:

*Follows straight from the end of Can You See Me Now*

Jason finds the hard way that the implication of mind control are more far reaching than just simply doing something against your will. Recovery is slow and other people can either help or hinder you, if you allow them. Misunderstandings and Miscommunications are addressed and the reasons for actions and events are reviled.

When Jason had been a small child- about four or five- Catherine Todd, the woman who had been his mother for most of his life, used to say to him that the bruises that were littered across his skin were like iris flowers blooming in a field in spring. The purple and yellow used to spread across his face and his body after a beating from his father, Willis. Or from one of Catherine’s dealers. Some days they would blossom on his knuckles after he got into a fight with someone in the streets or in the school yard when he was still in school. Other days his body was a resting place for a field of painfully blue and purple flowers.

When he was younger and still clutching onto whatever innocence he had left, Jason had tried desperately to hold onto that imagery. That he was the garden bed for the flowers that bruised his skin. That each and every burst blood vessel was just a new flower growing on his body. But he learnt quickly that the bruises weren’t the pretty flowers he saw in the garden books at school. That he wasn’t a beautiful field for his flowers to grow.

He was just a small boy, being bruised and hurt by the man who was his father and by anyone who was bigger and stronger than him.

It always came back to that, didn’t it?

No matter how far in life or death he goes, Jason Todd will forever be beaten down by a father who was bigger and stronger than he was, but whom he still loved despite everything.

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#Leave the past find nowhere #batman #batman fic #jason todd #tim drake #roy harper #dick grayson #bruce wayne #red hood #red robin #robin #nightwing

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hellsbellssinclub · 6 years

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Across the Stars. Part 31.

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5/ Part 6/ Part 7/ Part 8/ Part 9/ Part 10/ Part 11/ Part 12/ Part 13/ Part 14/ Part 15/ Part 16/ Part 17/ Part 18/ Part 19/ Part 20/ Part 21/ Part 22/Part 23/ Part 24/ Part 25 / Part 26/ Part 27/ Part 28/ Part 29/ Part 30/ Part 31/

Ao3

Hello. I am alive. Sorry about the two month wait. Here is a new chapter.

Obi-Wan, The Doctor and Donna finally get to see Master Qui-Gon Jinn! And there is a lot of exposition.

The walk to Master Jinn’s quarters was slightly awkward.

Donna was still angry and annoyed. She was keeping it under control, like how the Guardians of the Whills taught her several months ago. The Doctor was not that much better. Whereas Donna was like a raging fire in the wind, The Doctor was the hidden rapid pools on Rankonkana; calm on the surface but twisting and turning where the eye could not see.

Master Plo more than likely could also feel Donna and The Doctor’s anger, but the Master said nothing of it. Instead, the Master Jedi gave a small history lesson about the Order and the Temple, pointing out various busts and architecture and explaining their significance to the Jedi. Obi-Wan was aware that they were going the long way around to where Master Jinn’s quarters were but he said nothing, hoping that the longer walk would calm his friends down a little.

Which it did, a little bit anyway. By the time they reached Master Jinn’s quarters, Donna no longer looked like she wanted to murder someone and The Doctor seemed to be calmer. When they did reach the door to the Jedi Master’s quarters, both Donna and The Doctor quietly allowed Master Jinn to introduce himself and let them into the room.

The room itself was spacious and warm. There was a small table in the middle of the room by some couches and a kitchenet on the far wall by what looks to be the bedroom. The whole area looked comfortable and homely.

There was an awkward silence between all of them for a few seconds before Donna marched up to Master Jinn and slapped the Jedi Master across the face.

Master Jinn winced and gave a painful smile down at Donna. “I deserved that.” He said rubbing his cheek.

Donna was gently pulled back by The Doctor, who looked slightly pleased. “You deserved that. And more.” Donna hissed. “You and this whole organisation of yours all need a damn good reality smack down to realised what the hell you have done to the children in your care.”

Master Jinn nodded in agreement. “We have already had one of those. Well, several of those if I am to be honest. A lot has happened in the past several months.” The Jedi Master paused before looking down at Obi-Wan. “Obi-Wan Kenobi; I owe you my deepest apologies for the way I treated you.”

It was weird to hear the older man say that. While there is a small little part of him that still felt resentment for the way he had been treated, the last six months had helped him to learn to move past a lot of what he had gone through and unlearn things he had been mistaught by the Order.

“I accept your apology, but I do want to know why you said those things.” Obi-Wan stated, chin raised and voice calm.

The Jedi Master quirked his lips and gestured at the couch. “Why don’t we all sit down, the explanation to everything would be a lot easier to give if we were all comfortable.”

Donna and The Doctor shared one of their looks that Obi-Wan could never fully understand before they both moved towards the couch. Obi-Wan and Master Plo followed them with Master Jinn behind them. Once they were all seated together, Master Jinn spoke.

“To put it simply; the reason why I spoke to you the way I did was because your words accidentally set off a panic attack.” Master Jinn said with a painful look. “I should not have lashed out at you the way I did and my having a panic attack is no excuse for what I said. I had gone to apologize to you the next day but by then you had been sent to space station.”

“Panic attack?” The Doctor tilted his head slightly, a frown appearing on his face.

Master Jinn nodded. “I am unfortunately prone to them. It is one of the reasons I do not and cannot have a Padawan. When young Kenobi here asked me to be his Master it was really the straw that broke the pack mules back after a very long week. It is no excuse, as I said. And I had gone to explain and apologize to young Kenobi but then he disappeared with you and well.” The Jedi Master waved his hand.

Master Plo spoke up. “I would like to add that young Kenobi here was not supposed to be left alone at the space station and that he should not have been sent there in the first place. But because he was, the Jedi Order was able to uncover a plot to harm our younglings from inside our Temple.”

“What do you mean by that?” Donna said with a frown. “Obi-Wan being humiliated and sent away was a good thing?”

Master Plo shook his head. “The humiliation no, the being sent away yes. If Obi-Wan had not been sent away like he was then Qui-Gon would not have gone to confront Master Windu about his reasons for doing so. It took us a while but we soon realised that Bruck Chan, the boy who had accused Obi-Wan of harming him and Master Windu himself, had been under the control of a Sith Master.”

Obi-Wan blinked in shock at that. He thought that the Sith were all gone, destroyed by their own Rule of Two philosophy. The fact that there had been a Sith in the Temple who had managed to control both Master Windu and Bruck was just mind boggling.

“Is Bruck okay?” Obi-Wan asked with a frown. From what he could remember from his classes in the Temple and from what he learnt out while traveling with The Doctor and Donna, being mind controlled could have ill effects on people. Redirecting someone’s attention is one thing but full control of someone’s actions can do a lot of damage.

Thankfully Master Plo nodded and said. “Yes, young Bruck Chan is well. Our mind healers worked to help fix the damage that was done. He has been eager to speak to you in person. I believe he wants to also apologize for his actions.”

“How did you find out they were being controlled?” The Doctor asked, frowning and looking confused. “Also, I was under the impression that the Sith were gone? Or at least the original Sith’s anyway. These new Sith’s though, weren’t they supposed to have been defeated by the Jedi years ago?”

Master Jinn sighed and looked tired. “To answer your questions, I realised something was wrong with Mace when he could not fully answer my questions about why he had not followed protocol for sending away a youngling who has either aged out or has shown signs of not having the right mentality to be within the Order. Since Mace was one of the ones who updated these protocols himself, it was disturbing to see him deflect and ignore my questions. So, I knocked him out and took him to the healers.” The Master shrugged as if knocking someone out was a completely normal reaction to suspecting something is wrong with your friend.

“You knocked him out?” Donna raised her eyebrows at Master Jinn. She seemed to share the same thoughts as Obi-Wan about the strangeness of knocking out one’s friend.

The older Master nodded. “I have known Mace Windu since we were younglings. His behaviour was disturbing. The healers were able to determine that he was under the control of a Dark Sider. Once we realised that fact we pulled Bruck Chan aside and checked him over too. We found the same energy was on the youngling and set about healing and helping him too.”

“You said you uncovered a plot to harm the children? What plot was that and has it been resolved?” The Doctor asked, looking at both Master Plo and Master Jinn with a serious expression. “Because we don’t want to send Obi-Wan back to an environment where he could get hurt.”

Master Plo leaned back in his chair. “The plot was to slowly take our younglings away from the safety of the Order, much like how young Kenobi was. Force Sensitive children are a rarity and they could either be sold off into slavery or they could be taken and retrained in the ways of the Sith. From what we have found out so far is that Obi-Wan was the first they have tired to take. It was no coincidence that the man you helped apprehend was a slaver. We have put in place many new security measures to protect out younglings. Obi-Wan is quite safe with us.”

“And this Sith Lord, person, whatever, what happened to them?” Donna asked, sharing a look with The Doctor.

“He escaped.” Master Jinn stated. “But he is being hunted down by Jedi Shadows. They will be able to track him down and either put a stop to him or capture him and take him to a prison that will hold him.”

“So, Obi-Wan is safe here?” The Doctor asked. “And all of your other younglings? There is no way that this Sith can get in and do that again?”

Master Plo nodded. “Yes, Obi-Wan is safe here. As are all of our younglings. We have put into place more security, as we said. And while it is not impossible for the Sith to get back into the Temple, he would not be able to do it without everyone knowing that he was there. We are taking ever step we can to ensure the safety of our younglings and our fellow Jedi.”

There was silence for a few minutes as everyone digested what had been said. Obi-Wan had not thought that things had been this bad or that there could have been a Sith involved. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that any of this could happen. A Sith, an actual real life Sith had been in their Temple and had controlled both Bruck and Master Windu. It was a terrifying thought. There has to be more to the story and Obi-Wan was eager to find out more.

But before he could ask either Master to go into more detail about what had happened, Donna spoke up and said. “I take it that Obi-Wan’s friends have been eagerly awaiting his return, right? And they are probably all excited to see him. Why don’t we send Obi-Wan down to his friends and let them speak to each other?” Her smile was slightly sharp.

“Oooh that is a good idea!” The Doctor grinned and Obi-Wan silently cursed in his mind. Of course, they were both going to still be angry.

“You guys just want me out of the room so you can both yell and swear at Master Plo and Master Jinn, don’t you?” Obi-Wan frowned at them. He was thirteen, he didn’t need to be sent out of the room while The Doctor and Donna yelled at the two Masters or possibly the Council if they got the chance again.

Master Jinn gave a laugh. “No, no. It is fine. She is right in saying that your friends have been eager to see you. Padawan Bant should be done with classes for the day. You should go and see her and send her Master down here to us. I am sure Tahl would very much enjoy having Miss Noble yell at us.”

Donna looked over at Obi-Wan, giving him a softer smile than the one she gave the two Masters. “Obi-Wan, I know that you don’t like being sent away from the conversation, but I think it would be best for this conversation not to happen around underaged ears. You said that you did want to see your friend Bant first, didn’t you?”

Obi-Wan pouted slightly. He could tell there was probably another reason as to why Donna and The Doctor wanted him to leave the room but he decided not to push it. In the last six months of traveling with them, neither The Doctor or Donna had lead him astray. He was willing to trust them with this. If they needed him out of the room he would leave the room. Though he cannot say that he is happy about it.

“Okay.” He nodded before looking over at Master Jinn. “What room should I be going to?” He asked.

The Jedi Master gave him the room number and directions. Obi-Wan stood and walked to the door, he would have liked to have stayed to hear what Donna and The Doctor wanted to talk about with the two Masters but he was definitely excited about seeing Bant again. He wondered if any of his other friends were also in the Temple. It would be great to see them all again.

And he would need to track down Bruck, if he was still in the Temple. They both needed to sit down and have a talk about what happened between them. They had never been friends, nor had they overly liked each other but Obi-Wan had never hated Bruck and he was sure now that Bruck did not hate him.

He gave the Masters and his friends a smile before he palmed open the door and ran down the hall. He was going to go see Bant!

#Across the Stars #hellsbells wrote something!!!#star wars #doctor who #Star Wars/Doctor Who #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Donna Noble #10th doctor #qui-gon jinn #plo koon #star wars fic #doctor who fic

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hellsbellssinclub · 6 years

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Chapters: 4/8 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Under the Red Hood, Red Hood: Lost Days Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Stephanie Brown, Tim Drake & Everyone, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Ra's al Ghul, Barbara Gordon, Alfred Pennyworth Additional Tags: Enemies to Friends, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, references to Jason Todd's death, Major Character Death refers to Jason's death, Hurt No Comfort, Mind Control, sleeper agent, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, Tim Drake is Robin, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Stephanie Brown is Spoiler, Cassandra Cain is Batgirl, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Tim Drake has issues, Jason Todd Has Issues Summary:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

After some nudging from Spoiler and Batgirl, Tim seeks out the Red Hood to ask the older teen for permission into his territory to follow up a lead. It was a small, innocent action but it was the starting point for both Tim and Jason to get to know each other.

But things are never as they seem and things always get better before they get worst.

#Can You See Me Now?#hellsbells wrote something!!!#batman #batman fic #tim drake #jason todd #red robin #red hood #robin 3 #robin 2

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hellsbellssinclub · 6 years

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Can You See Me Now? Chapter 1

This is my newest Batman fic.

Summary:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

But things are never as they seem and things always get better before they get worst.

Read it here on AO3

(Sorry to mobile users, the read more I put on the post does not seem to be working on the app)

“Look, I’m just saying that there is probably more to everything than what Batman told you. Maybe the now not dead Robin isn’t as bad as you think.” The young woman in the eggplant purple suit said for the seventh time in the last fifteen minutes.

“And I am telling you he broke into Titan Tower and beat me with my own bow staff, Spoiler.” Tim sighed, looking over at his Ex, feeling the dull burn of his broken ribs as he breathed in deep. “I know that Batman isn’t telling me everything about what happened. Neither is Nightwing or Agent A. I am in the dark as much as you. But really, I think there might just be a chance that he holds a teeny tiny little grudge against me.”

Steph shook her head at him. “I know he beat you and I know something went down with the Joker but!” She held up her hand to stop him from saying anything over her. “I have looked into every kill and action he has made. From start to finish. While he has been incredibly violent, and well, bloody and stuff, he has not killed an innocent person. Everyone he killed were violent drug dealers and pimps who were hurting the working girls. Crime has gone down in his territory in the last month.”

Tim gave her a pained look. He knew that Jason Todd as the Red Hood was technically doing a lot of good for Crime Alley, a place that has not had a stable crime lord or hand controlling it since Bruce was still a kid. And with Bruce’s own personal dislike of the area because of what happened to his parents and the GCPD’s unwillingness to investigate anything that happens there, Crime Alley often went unchecked and unnoticed by everyone. The Red Hood had strict rules he was willing to enforce and from what Tim had managed to overhear so far, the people who lived in Crime Alley felt a lot safer with the Red Hood around.

But that still does not change the fact that Jason was completely unstable and willing to murder nearly everyone who got in his way. The former Robin was willing to take that extra step to make his point. There had already been at least fifteen cases of torture reported to the GCPD that they know about.

(Though most of those cases were of convicted paedophiles and child molesters and honestly, Tim could not really fault the former Robin for what he did there; he too occasionally got the urge to do horrible things to predators as well, though he himself never acted on it.)

Red Hood’s official death toll was almost at sixty with the possibility of the GCPD finding more bodies every day. Crime Alley might be safer for the people who live there, but that safety was brought with blood and death caused by Jason’s hands. It was not the kind of safety that would last long. Not in Gotham anyway.

At least Jason’s vendetta against the Bat’s had died down though after whatever happened with the Joker that night nearly a month and a half ago. Bruce was not willing to share what had happened and the older man deleted the Cowl Cam footage before anyone else had a chance to see it. The Joker still lived, which was unfortunate in his own personal opinion. Yes, Tim fully believed in Bruce’s ‘save everyone you can’ view of the world but if he was to be honest, Tim would not grieve if the Joker was to be violently murdered by someone. Because really, that cockroach needed to die and just be stopped permanently.

“While I do agree that the whole, you know, serial killer-antihero thing is working in Crime Alley, it still doesn’t change the fact that he beat me up and tried to kill B and N. I really don’t think he wants me to come into his territory and act like we are friends or something.” Tim kicked a stone off the ledge they were standing on. Yes, he was still holding a grudge. But who could blame him really? He got beaten up by his predecessor while said predecessor wore an absolutely horrid copy of the original, green panties, Robin suit.

“I’m not saying go out and act like his friend, Robin!” Steph waved her hands again. “I am saying maybe you could extend the olive branch to him? Because from what you have told me, the guy was murdered in a pretty traumatic way, woke up in his own grave, dug his way out and then was more or less prisoner of those crazy assassin dudes who are obsessed with immortality? Maybe if you and the other Bat’s give him a chance to talk and stuff without the Joker and explosives involved you could actually get through to him. Everything that he has done to you guys, have you considered perhaps it was a cry for help?”

Tim sighed. “When you put it like that you make us sound like a bunch of dicks you know.” He shook his head and slumped his shoulders. She was right. But only to a point. Jason’s actions at the Tower and his anger at the Bats could be seen as a cry for help, especially given what they did know about the trauma that Jason went through. “But it still doesn’t take away the point that he attacked me and the others and while he hasn’t made another attempt against me, he has fought B and Nightwing recently.”

“He probably fought them because they were the ones who entered his territory.” Steph pointed out. That was also true, if Jason had come into his territory he probably would have attacked the older teen without a second thought. He could see the former Robin doing the same if Bruce and Dick tried to enter Crime Alley. “I get it Tim, I really do. He hurt you and that sucks ass. I am not saying that you have to forgive him or anything. I am just saying maybe extend the olive branch to him. You were saying before that one the leads in one of your cases, the one with the underground alien tech, was in Crime Alley, right? Let him know that you are following up on a lead and that you will not cause any trouble for him.”

He gave a low hum of thought at that. Tim’s original plan for that case was to go out in the day, skipping his afternoon study hall at school and going to look for the tech without his gear. It would have been risky but there would have been a better chance that he would not run into the Red Hood. There also would have been a greater chance that he would have been mugged because he looks like a rich white boy with money (which you know, he is), but Tim was confident he could have taken on anyone who attacked him.

But going and asking for permission? Tim had not even considered that an option at all. And honestly, why would he? Jason Todd had made it clear that he hated his ‘Replacement’ and that he wanted nothing to do with the Bats and Birds of Gotham. How would the older teen react? He wondered. Would he attack Tim? Or would he let him pass?

“Hey, if you don’t feel that you can be near him with without him attacking you then you should just bring Batgirl with you.” Steph grinned at him behind her Spoiler mask. Smiling always looked so strange behind her mask but one can definitely see the outline of it. Tim could not help but roll his eyes at her words though.

“I am not bringing Batgirl with me like some kind of bodyguard. I am a grown ass vigilante, I don’t need a bodyguard.” He wasn’t pouting. He wasn’t. He was nearly fifteen, he could take care of himself without Batgirl babysitting him.

“Oh, come on! Batgirl wouldn’t mind! Would you, Batgirl?” Steph looked over his shoulder, causing him to spin around and glare at Cassandra, who was standing a few feet away. He had not noticed at all that she was there and there was a small shock of panic and fear that went through him at that thought. He hates it when people manage to get the drop on him. Cass was the second best in the Bat family at sneaking up on people, right after Bruce.

“We need to put a bell on you before you give me a heart attack.” Tim groaned out, covering his face for a moment. At least Cass never went out of her way to purposely scare him, unlike Nightwing had when Tim was first starting out as Robin. His situational awareness has improved since he was twelve, thank god, and Nightwing was now not able to jump out of the celling and scare him anymore.

Cass gave him a small snort. “Am not Catwoman. Don’t need a bell.” The smirk looked as strange behind Batgirl’s mask as it did Spoiler’s. “I would be happy to bodyguard for you.”

Tim rolled his eyes behind his domino mask. Steph and Cass becoming friends was a horrible idea. He never should have encouraged it. They were both terrible together. Steph always had something to say or do and Cass was always happy to follow her new friend around, enjoying being a teenager like she should. Steph encouraged Cass to step outside her comfort zone and explore being a teen and Cass was willing to do most of the things that Steph suggested.

They were good for each other. But not good for his sanity, seeing as they roped him into following whatever crazy stunt they had planned.

“I don’t need a bodyguard.” He whined at them both. He didn’t need Cass to hold his hand. He could talk to Jason. And if he gets his ass kicked then he could just blame Steph for the idea and spend a week with the Titans licking his wounds.

Not literally. That would be gross. Why is that phrase even a thing?

“Am bodyguard now. No take backs.” Cass nodded, sounding pleased with herself and he groaned in annoyance. He doesn’t need Cass babying him. He is Robin! Terror of the Night and Batman’s partner. He hated being babied by Cass and Dick. They always pulled the ‘I am the older sibling and you are the baby of the family’ card on him. He can’t wait until he could be the big brother. One day he will give the Robin suit up and then he can be the one babying someone else. “Why is a bodyguard needed?” Cass asked, moving to stand next to Steph.

Before Tim had a chance to say anything, his purple menace of an Ex-Girlfriend spoke. “Tim is going to go and ask the Red Hood if he could go into Crime Alley. We need you to bodyguard him because we don’t know if the Red Hood is going to beat Tim up again or not.”

Tim shook his head. “Names, Spoiler. No names on the field.” He reminded her, closing his eyes in annoyance. Steph was bad when it came to remembering the ‘no names on the field’ rule now that she knows his name. If he didn’t know better he would say that she is doing it out of spite because he didn’t tell her it himself.

And Cass was either going to be all for being Tim’s bodyguard or she is going to be against it and honestly, he wasn’t sure which one he preferred.

On one hand, there are a lot of advantages to having Cass actually guard him while he spoke to Jason. Mostly all of them were that she could kick Jason’s ass. It wouldn’t matter how skilled Jason now is, Cass would win.

On the other hand, if she is against it she could go and tell Bruce which would end up with him benched and on the receiving end of a cold shoulder and disappointed glare for the next month or so. And he would probably have several new trackers placed on his person without his consent. Because B can occasionally forget to use his words and just say ‘I am worried about you, please be safe’ out loud.

Mind you, Bruce is still a lot better at emotions than Jack Drake. Tim’s father only really did emotions in small, but over whelming bursts. Which means Tim usually gets a weekend or two of father-son like interactions and then it is several weeks of ‘we exist in the same house but are mostly strangers to each other’. Which is always fun.

Cass said nothing for a few moments, her head tilting to the side slightly as she no doubt read Tim’s body language and seeing his hesitance and his inner monologue. “What’s in Crime Alley?” She asked finally.

“A lead to one of my cases. The alien tech one that I have been working solo on.” Tim explained. Cass had not yet said yes or no and he was still very much undecided on which way he wanted her to choose.

“Come on! Big bad Batgirl can definitely take on the Red Hood if he tries to hurt our Baby Bird!” Steph wrapped an arm around Cass’s shoulders. “And you guys can extend an olive branch to the guy by being nice and you know, asking to be let into his territory.”

Cass hummed, which once again was not a yes or a no. She gently shook off Steph’s arm and looked at both Tim and Steph. “Why extend the olive branch?” She asked. “He is a murderer. He kills people and makes Batman sad, here.” She pointed to her chest, right above her heart.

Whelp, that’s an understatement. Anything to do with Jason Todd hurt Bruce. When Tim was first starting out as Robin he could barely mention Jason’s name without Bruce completely shutting down. It had gotten better over the years. Sometimes Bruce would mention Jason in passing or would say something about how the young boy used to be. But now that it was known that the Red Hood is Jason Todd, things have gone back to the way they were at the start and Tim did not know what to do other than avoid mentioning Jason or the Red Hood all together.

“Spoiler believes that there is more to the story than what B has said and that there we should hear Hood out and let him tell his side of the story.” Tim explained with another sigh. He wondered how many times he was going to end up sighing in this conversation and thought to himself that perhaps he should stop doing so already because ow, his ribs do not like it when he sighs at all. “She also believes there is a chance that his behaviour and actions could have been a cry for help and that we should perhaps try and talk to him instead of you know, fighting at any given chance.”

“Yep! That is some good summary skills there, Ex-Boyfriend of mine.” Steph nodded and looked at Cass expectedly. The mask made it impossible to tell what Cass was thinking. Not that it was easy for him to read Cassandra without the mask but it was slightly easier without the frankly unsettling mask staring at you in the eyes.

There is a good reason as to why he would never go for a full-face mask when he finally is ready to let go of being Robin. And that reason is that is that he is more than likely going to see his mask in the reflection of a window or something and then forget that it is his mask and then scream in fear. Which you know, would ruin the whole serious vigilante look he would be hoping for.

Thus, he will probably only stick to a domino. Or a cowl. But a cowl is slightly too Batman like and Tim did not want to be Batman. He would have to think on this more in-depth later.

“Cry for help?” Cass tilted her head again. “You believe that the killing is his way of crying for help?” If anyone else had said that, Tim would believe that they were being dismissive or sarcastic. But Cass just sounded curious.

“Well, yeah.” Steph waved her hands carelessly as she began to explain. “I met him a few times back when he was Robin. He was a great guy. He was kind. Sure, he was a little bit rougher than Nightwing was when dealing with scumbags and stuff but he always stuck around to make sure that the victims were okay. All of his interactions with you Bats so far look like lashing out and cries for help if you ask me. I mean, he dressed up in a frankly fucked up Robin costume and beat up Tim. He was apparently angry that there wasn’t a statue of him in the Tower like there was for all the other dead heroes and whatever the hell happened with the Joker and Batman was well…” She trailed off.

Tim shrugged. “No one knows what the hell happened with those three.” And it wasn’t from lack of trying to find out either. Bruce was tight lipped about the whole thing and the Joker apparently only laughed when he was asked what happened. Tim suspected that Alfred knew what went down because the older man had been very stiff and cold towards Bruce for several weeks and has only just started to warm back up to him again.

“You think that we should reach out to him?” Cass asked. “Show him we can offer help?”

Steph nodded enthusiastically at Cass’s attempt to clarify what they were telling her.

“I do think that! And I think that Wonder Boy here is the best person to do it.” She gently punched Tim’s shoulder as she said this, making him rock back a little close to the edge. Steph may not be a meta but her punches, gentle or not, were stronger than she realised.

“Why can’t you do it? He hates me.” Tim pointed out. He really did not understand why she wanted him to do this. Yes, getting permission from the Red Hood could open up a professional relationship between them where they could actively avoid each other unless they needed to do something in the other’s territory. And yes, he could definitely see Steph’s point about how Jason’s actions did seem like a huge cry for help.

But Tim has already been beaten once by Jason and he honestly did not want to have another round with the older teen. The fight between them showed Tim just how much he was lacking in his training and he could not help but feel a deep, festering bitterness that he would never be as good as Jason was. As good as Dick was. It was a bitterness he was trying to push away and forget about but it never seemed to go away.

Tim didn’t want to offer the older teen help and then accidentally drive him away because he could not get a hold of his own mental health issues. Issues that he needed to actually address sometime soon, least he turn into Bruce. Or a supervillain. Either one would be bad for his health in the long run.

Steph punched his shoulder again, this time harder; causing him to wince because ow, why, that hurts. “Because Boy Blunder, you don’t have any history at all with him. Except for, you know, him beating you. And you are more than likely a trigger for him because you are now Robin. But still, you at least don’t have a history like Batman and Nightwing do. And he knows nothing about you as a person! He probably only knows what he has read about you from the assassins he was with!”

“All the more reason why you should talk to him and not me! You are a stranger to him, not me! Spoiler is new and not actually connected to Batman and Robin. And if you haven’t noticed I am Robin and something tells me he does not like that I am Robin.” Tim waved his hands in what he could best describe as ‘I am emphasizing my point and you are not listening to me’. He learnt this gesture from Steph when they first became friends and has used it a lot over the years.

“Look Tim; think about it like this. You are brutally tortured and murdered. You wake up in your own grave, dig your way out and are taken in by evil assassins. You spend who knows how long with said assassins and find out you have been replaced by a younger, better model who comes from the complete opposite background as you do. Your attempt to kill your murderer doesn’t work and your father figure is a dick. How do you feel?” Steph put her head in her hands and sighed before continuing.

“You need to be the one who talks to him because you are a Bat and someone who probably makes him feel like he was replaced by a better, richer model and that you are everything that he isn’t. If you talk to him, show him you are an actual person and not some cardboard cut-out of someone who he wasn’t, then maybe you could actually get him to talk about what happened to him and help him! Yes, I am a stranger to him and while we could get along and stuff he is going to need someone who is a Bat to speak to him at some point and…” She groaned. “I messed up my point. Tim, you are someone who is actually a part of all of this mess. I am not. Just, go and ask him for permission to enter his territory. If he says no then he says no. I will go and follow up that lead for you if that is the case. But please, try at least.”

Tim groaned again and looked over at Cass to see what she had to say about all of this.

“You,” Cass pointed at Steph. “You want Robin to talk to Red Hood. Because Red Hood is hurting. And needs help. Robin means a lot to Red Hood. It was his name, who he was before the Joker killed him. If Robin shows that he is not…” She waved her hand in a very vague but Steph like manner. “If Robin shows that he is not who Red Hood thought he was then the Red Hood will feel less like he is replaced or… unworthy? Red Hood was a good Robin. Now he is not good as the Red Hood. Bad things happened to the Red Hood, made him hard and angry. Extending olive branch might help.”

“Yes! Thank you!” Steph let out a low breath. “Why are you guys so good at summarising everything?”

“Nightwing.” Both Tim and Cass said together. Dick had a habit of not only rambling but also talking fast and without breaks. A habit of both his ADHD and from being best friends with a Speedster. Anyone who works or is with Dick for long periods of time learns how to summarise what he says.

It is a handy trick for Tim to know, seeing as he is also best friends with a Speedster and Steph has a habit of rambling herself at times.

“So…?” Steph trailed off and Tim, though he said to himself that he wasn’t going to do it because ow, sighed and completely ignored the pain in his chest.

“If Batgirl is willing to bodyguard than I will go and ask Red Hood for permission into his territory.” Tim felt slightly defeated. He wanted to keep arguing that he really wasn’t sure that this was a good idea for either Jason or himself but at the same time he knows he would feel crap if he said no because Steph’s points were more than likely all true and-

And he did not want to be a person who ignores someone else who could be in need of help because he was selfish.

Tim has been lucky. Since becoming Robin he has had a wonderful support network that he has used a lot over the years and would never trade for anything in the world. Jason does not have that. Or at least Tim was pretty sure that Jason does not have that.

“I will bodyguard. Will only interfere if you are attacked. I will stay in the shadows and away from sight.” Cass said. “We do this tonight, on next patrol. It is late now. Time for bed soon.”

Cass was right, it was getting close to four am and Tim was due back into the Cave in less than half an hour. He was thankful that he did not have any classes until nine am because he wanted to have more than an hour sleep when he finally got back to his home.

“Oh wow. Today went quicker than expected.” Steph rocked back on her heels. “I am stuck in class tomorrow night but I expect to have at least three texts telling me how it all went from you both. Got it?”

Tim rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yes, yes. Three texts. If I get beat up you are so making me waffles.” He pulled her into a quick hug.

“Whatever, Ex-Boyfriend.” Steph pulled Cass into a hug of her own and then was grappling away with a careless wave.

“Do you think this is a good idea?” He asked Cassandra quietly now that they were alone on the ledge. Cass looked at him, the eyes on her mask stared directly into his own white out lenses.

“I think… that there is a possibility that the Red Hood is falling without a net. And that his lines may have been cut by accident. By Batman. By Robin.” She paused and looked up at the dark sky. “We can offer him a new line. And a net. Falling without a net or line… It is not good. That mindset. You feel like you are flying, until you hit the ground.”

Tim flinched at that imagery. Jason had been hurt by the Joker and whatever the hell happened with his resurrection and the League of Assassins. The trauma alone from that would be enough to make enough the sanest man go a little wonky. But whatever happened with B that night with the Joker…

Whatever happened might have taken away his line, like Cass said. But Tim was not overly convinced that this is a good idea. Cass must have read his hesitance because she spoke once more.

“He needs to see you as a person, like Spoiler said. Not just as a costume. He needs to see not Robin but you.” She gestured to his body. “When he attacked you, he was looking for reason as to why you were supposed to be better than him. He wanted to see, prove himself and you, that he was the better one. Because if he was not the better one, than him being replaced would have been a good thing.”

Tim frowned at that. He had not thought of it that way. While he could see the attack against him in the Tower as being a cry for help like Steph kept saying, he did not think to look as to the reasons why it was a cry for help. Steph and Cass both were good at getting him to take a step back and look at the full details of the bigger picture. He would certainly be lost (and probably more emotionally stunted) without them.

Tim knows that he should not use them as a crutch for explaining emotions and details that he may have missed about basic human reactions, but Tim was not ashamed to say that he did not connect with other people well and often missed simple emotional matters that should have been obvious to him. According to the internet, this was probably because he missed out on many key interactions with his parents due to them constantly traveling around the world and leaving him home with a nanny who discouraged most emotional reactions he had. Because his nanny believed that ‘boys don’t do emotions like girls and he should man up already’.

Tim really, really needed to get his mental health checked out sooner rather than later.

“Okay. Yeah, I see your point.” Tim conceded. “What about you? Are you going to try as well?”

Cass hummed and nodded after a moment. “Yes. Will try with Spoiler and Oracle. Give some space between us and you. Keep him from feeling trapped.”

He hummed in agreement and gestured to the edge that they were standing on. “I am heading back to the Cave. I take it you are going back to the Clock Tower?” He asked, feeling drained. This whole conversation and everything about it made him feel like he had fought off an energy sucking monster. He wanted to go back to the Cave, get into his own clothes and head back to his own home. Or maybe just crash at the Manor. He will see what kind of mood B was in when he got to the Cave.

“Back to Clock Tower.” Cass nodded again. “Will Comm you tonight. Find where you and Hood are. Go to bed.” She reached up and ruffled his hair fondly and then flung herself of the ledge with grace that only Nightwing could copy. He watched her grapple her way towards the Clock Tower until she was gone from his sights.

His bike was down in the alleyway below him and it would take him only a short time to get to the Cave from his location. Tomorrow, well tonight really, was going to be interesting to say the least. He would like to say that the growing pit inside his stomach was just anticipation and not the low level of fear at the thought of speaking to Jason face to face.

The Red Hood was volatile, dangerous and had a grudge against the Bats. Tim had no idea how this was going to go and it frightened him. Jason Todd could simply say yes or no. Or he could just shoot Tim in the head and Batgirl or no Batgirl there would be no stopping him if he does.

Normally, being in that kind of situation was sort of exciting. Like a free fall off the top of the Wayne Enterprises tower. It was a rush that left a bubbling feeling in his chest that just screamed ‘I am alive!’ but he did not feel that right now. He just felt a low level of fear bubbling away in his stomach, making him feel nauseous.

Jason made it clear that he did not like Tim. Did not want to be near him or see him. The beating he had taken was not the worst one he had suffered through. But it had hurt him. Hurt him badly because this was Jason Todd. Robin. The boy who Tim used to follow around with a camera around his neck hoping to see in action.

What do you say to a person that had once been one of your heroes after they beat the living shit out of you?

Tim did not want to think about it at all right now. He needed to get back to the Cave and back home before B and his dad start to worry. He would think about it before he goes onto patrol. Not now while his head was clouded. But later when he was rested and ready for the night.

#hellsbells wrote something!!!#Can You See Me Now?#batman fic #Batman #Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Stephanie Brown #cassandra cain

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