i am so charmed by a lumax wedding because it’s not even something max thought would happen. like she assumed weddings were something the girl makes happen and the guy puts up with. and because she had no desire for one, so there’s no reason it would happen.
among other things weddings are an exorbitant and performative show of love, max loves lucas and she doesn’t care whether or not other people know or believe this. at it’s best marriage to her has been a representation of failed dreams and at it’s worst it’s been a tool to manipulate people who need to get away to stay. maybe they will get married for the tax benefits, she thinks.
this is until max and lucas are older and living together, they’re chilling on the couch and lucas mentions his family has been asking when he’s planning to propose and if that’s something max even wants? max doesn’t care, she doesn’t plan on going anywhere, a certificate won’t change anything and she's not crazy about parties. she doesn’t ask how he feels, he brings it up, that “actually i want a wedding.”
that is saying the least, lucas wants a wedding more than anything. he loves max and he doesn’t need to prove that to anyone, but he’s happy and he wants to share that with others! he wants to work with max to make marriage a positive thing to them, he wants to celebrate their love, everything they’ve been through. also, hell, he’s only human, he wants to show off! he wants to dress really cool and go to a really cool place and show the world know how awesome he and his girlfriend are. HIS WIFE!!!
most of all, lucas wants the moment near the end of the night, where the party’s getting loud and everybody wants his attention, but max asks if he wants to get out of there and he says yes. not out out, just outside the venue. it’s dark and the once booming music is now faint, they sit and catch up, complain about their families, laugh about their friends. max holds lucas’s hand and plays with his wedding ring, she whispers something sweet before asking him to dance. it’s the best part of the night and nobody will know about it but them.
suddenly max decides she wants a wedding.
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"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"
I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.
Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.
I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.
And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.
Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.
Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.
Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.
And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.
And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?
Absolutely no one.
Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.
And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.
I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.
Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.
Because he saw her when she was invisible.
Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?
Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.
He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.
And he does.
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Man, everyone is always talking about how Kabru is wearing eye makeup, but you guys understand that he is just naturally heart-stoppingly gorgeous right? He's probably not wearing any makeup, he's South Asian and he has naturally long, dark lashes, and a delicate, feminine face. He's a beautiful man! He'd look radiant even naked and covered in mud.
He's the type of beautiful that people write poetry about and start wars over!
This is just canon. It's shown and told to us multiple times and ways. People see him and swoon on sight, even when he's barely trying. Even when he's dirty and tired, even when they are hardened warriors and spies. And it's implied that he can and does do this sort of thing regularly... He has a whole flock of women that he's charmed.
And it's not like Dungeon Meshi has sameface syndrome. There's plenty of other men that don't look like Kabru. Kabru's meant to be very, very beautiful.
AND on top of that, he's also insanely charismatic and genuinely good at reading people, figuring out what they want, and finding ways to give it to them that makes them like and trust him. He manages to do it within minutes of meeting Daya's hostile, jealous fiancee.
He's a Cleopatra, an Alexander the Great, a Caesar. If he was in a war he'd go out with 10 soldiers and come back with 20 because he convinced the enemy to defect and join his mission.
He's not perfect but he's damn close. His biggest flaw, Kui explicitly tells us, is not having enough experience, and specifically not knowing enough about monsters. The first will naturally be fixed as time passes, and the second.... well, it isn't a problem as long as he's not in a dungeon, which is 99% of his life....
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god i wish we had gotten more of twelve with river song. he just meshes so well with her and since their time streams are finally (almost) synced up you don’t feel the imbalance of maturity/knowledge that you get in a lot of eleven’s time with her, and less general timeline “where are they right now what the fuck is happening” fuckery to sort through. just a husband and wife who have lived so much together and know it’s coming to an end very soon so they have to relish it (even if river doesn’t have the knowledge of her own death the way the doctor does, she knows it’s almost over because her diary is running out of pages). and i love watching this older, less theatrical, more rough-around-the-edges doctor with her because it develops their dynamic and the passage of time for the doctor so well. he's not eleven, trying to hide the pain and damage anymore. he doesn't spin off lies and deflections. he wears the hurt and is comfortable in it, and river is there to bring the joy and wonder out. they just have a more mature, beautiful relationship to me.
more thoughts and elaboration under the cut bc i care for your dash <3
twelve and river were such a delight to watch because (this is getting into hot take territory here sorry) once capaldi took over from matt smith, the show basically gave up on the whole “the doctor is very attractive and all the women want him” narrative that it pushed for eleven. of course it was there with ten but i think it got Egregious with eleven. moffat really wanted us to believe matt smith was the hottest man in the universe (and he’s not unattractive! i admit i thought he was attractive when i first watched doctor who years and years ago! the writing was just over the top with it!) twelve is not some young whimsical prettyboy anymore— he’s abrasive, blunt, and old. the show doesn’t treat him like he’s supposed to be attractive, which makes him and river’s relationship feel so real.
first off i want to point out that river is still very much attracted to the doctor in his new body which was so exciting for me because how often to we get to see romance and desire and (sexually) intimate relationships in people past the age of 35??? hardly ever! how often do we see a beautiful woman expressing desire for a man that’s not young or conventionally handsome NOT because she has ulterior motives or we’re supposed to believe he’s actually the sexiest man alive but because she simply loves him? how often do we see relationships where no matter how much change they go through, even when one of them has turned into an entirely different person (figuratively or literally), the love stays steady and unchanged? especially when these changes involve aging? there isn’t nearly enough. and seeing it is kind of healing for me, just a reminder that you can have love and intimacy and passion even when you’re not “young and beautiful” anymore
twelve and river’s relationship is just charged with so much shared experience and trust and i wish we had gotten to see more of it. in conclusion i want a special that recaps the 24 years on darillium thank you and goodbye
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