#he leaves the order at 15 to go to melida/daan

[tennessoui]

For the prompt list, nanny/single parent obikin would be amazing!!

(from this prompt list)

(the first time I answered this prompt two years ago, the nanny anakin au was born)

so to do something different, here's some gffa widowed anakin, nanny (sort of) obi-wan!

(2.5k)

It is hard to find time to grieve. There are too many things to do. Too many appointments to make, too many decisions Anakin isn’t sure he’s qualified for. Some decisions are easier than others. For example, the funeral will be on Naboo. There will be two services: a public one to honor Padmé’s public service, and a private one to honor who she was as a person. The casket will be closed, because his wife died when her cruiser exploded. There isn’t much left to bury anyway.

But some decisions are harder. Which flowers should go on her casket. What songs would she want sung and who should sing them? Would she prefer her grave closer to her ancestral home or the home she created in her adulthood?

If she told anyone the answers to these questions, it wasn’t Anakin. But then, the people who knew her best, who loved her most, died with her. Sabé, Rabé, Saché, Yané, all of her handmaidens—an assassination such broad strokes that it was impossible for it to fail.

So Anakin chooses Yali lilies, because Leia’s eyes linger on them the longest. He chooses a small Nabooian folk band to play after her service because their music is the first thing to make Luke lift his head from his coloring books in days. He formally requests that her body be buried among her ancestors, and the Nabierres agree immediately.

And he keeps telling himself that he will grieve, but there is so much to do. 

And then—then there’s after the funeral. Then there’s the rest of his life, sprawling out before him in a long, hazy road. 

There are more decisions to be made.

There are people who have opinions on them now, people who sat back and let Anakin muddle through flower arrangements and kriffing seating charts, who now step in to peer over his shoulder, monitor his every breath.

Should he really move the children back to Coruscant? Does he truly plan to continue to work as a mechanic in the Mid-Levels? Should he not think of the children, their needs? How can he support them on the thin amount of credits he makes? Would it not be better for the children to live on Naboo in the care of their grandparents and their extended family?

It would be what Padmé would have wanted.

Anakin cannot care about what Padmé would have wanted, because she isn’t here. Not to argue with him, not to make her wants known. She is dead. She doesn’t get to haunt him in the waking world too.

“What do you want?” he asks plainly, sitting down across the table from his two children. The twins blink back at him. Leia has finished her cereal. Luke has barely touched his.

“Bacon,” Luke says.

Anakin hadn’t meant for breakfast, but he figures it’s as good of a start as any. “Alright,” he agrees.

He stands once more and goes to the kitchen. It’s not exactly his domain. It was never Padmé’s either. The way Padmé grew up, food was made once you requested it—by droid, by cooking staff. Not by the hand of a Nabierre.

The way Anakin grew up, food was cobbled together carefully, sparingly no matter how much you requested it. And no matter how you cooked it, it always tasted a little like dust, which took the joy out of experimentation.

But the serving staff have been dismissed for the past two weeks to give the family time and space to grieve in private. 

(Padmé’s parents have been given a schedule for visiting hours for that exact reason.)

Anakin locates the pan; then, he locates the package of bacon strips.

When he glances up, both twins are watching him over the edge of their barstools, tiny faces showing both skepticism and incredulity.

“I want to know what you want to do,” Anakin says, raising his voice as he places the pot over the heating plate, the meat in a moment later. “Do you want to stay here with your grandmother and grandfather? Do you want to go back to Coruscant?”

The twins are quiet. Anakin twists his neck to look at them again, and they’re looking at each other, silently communicating the way only twins can.

“Where will you be?” Leia finally asks, looking at him with narrowed, suspicious eyes, bottom lip already jutting out.

Anakin blinks. “Wherever you are,” he answers.

“You won’t leave too?” Luke asks rather tremulously.

Anakin takes the pan off the heated plate and turns it off with a decisive flick of his wrist. “Of course not,” he says. “Come here.” He crouches down and barely has enough time to open his arms before the twins are there, pressing in as close as they can get to him. He holds them back just as tightly in return.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises into Leia’s hair. “Not without you two.”

—-----------------

It becomes apparent fairly quickly that this is, by necessity, a lie.

The twins don’t want to stay on Naboo, which Anakin is secretly incredibly grateful for. He doesn’t want to either, but he knows he’d just be called selfish should he express the opinion.

But the twins don’t want to go back to Coruscant either. This makes sense as well. It would be incredibly jarring for them to go back to living in the quarters they shared with their mother, her Upper Coruscanti apartments in the nicest district of the planet, without her there.

Anakin wishes it were as simple as sticking a pin on a planet and deciding to uproot the entirety of his family to live there. 

But it’s not.

Perhaps if he were still young, nineteen, newly free and in love with the taste of that freedom, it would be.

But he’s a widower now. He has his children to think about, their futures. Any planet he chooses must have what they need as well. 

And they are four year olds who have just lost their mother. Their needs are numerous.

What makes the decision for him in the end is that his boss knows a man from Stewjon, who is willing to hire him. Who is willing to pay a premium for his expertise with mechanics.

Anakin doesn’t know the first thing about Stewjon, other than that it’s an ocean planet in the Inner Core and his dead wife always said the Senators from Stewjon were so frigid and tight-lipped because they spent the first few days of each visit trying not to be seasick on the Senate floor.

Anakin isn’t sure why this is the very first thing he tells the man—his potential boss—he meets behind the counter in the mech-shop on Stewjon.

He’s left the children with their grandparents for the week—long enough to fly from Naboo to Stewjon, meet with his potential employer, interview, apply his work practically, and fly back out.

He’d explained to both twins why they had to stay on Naboo. He’d explained many times. That hadn’t changed the betrayed look Leia had worn as she saw him off. It hadn’t wiped the tears from Luke’s eyes.

“Ah, well, I can’t say I’ve heard that one before,” the mechanic says. He sounds amused, and Anakin is incredibly shocked to hear a Coruscanti accent. Everyone he’s spoken to since arriving planetside has had such a heavy brogue that he’d honestly struggled to understand their directions to the shop—Kenobi & Sons.

Anakin lets himself look again at the man behind the counter. He’s rather clean for a mechanic, he decides. His beard is red, a common factor around these parts apparently, but his beard is short and neat, trimmed to accentuate the strong lines of his jaw. His eyes are a stormy blue, the kind of blue that matches the Stewjoni ocean.

“Between you and me though,” the man smirks and leans onto the counter with his elbow. His tunic is dark gray, white starchy fabric peeking out beneath the v-necked collar. “I’ve never been a fan of Stewjoni politicians anyway.”

“Oh?” Anakin asks, sidling a step closer to the counter. The man has the beginnings of gray at his temples, and his eyes are lined with wrinkles. They don’t make him look old though, Anakin decides. They make him look…well-lived.

“I’ve not a head for politics much at all,” his future employer shakes his head slightly with a small smile. His eyes flick up and down Anakin’s face, lingering on his lips and then lingering longer on the scar over his brow. Anakin feels rather flushed under the inspection, and he shifts his weight forward until he’s leaning up against the counter too.

There’s something about this man that’s rather…magnetic. It pulls him in. It makes him want to linger.

Good characteristic for a shopkeeper to have, though Anakin privately decides that the man before him has a face that’s wasted on mechanics, buried under some ship’s underbelly in a backroom.

“Me neither,” he admits, a moment too late to sound anything but highly distracted. It makes the man smile again though, a flash of straight white teeth.

“Is there anything you do have a head for then?” he asks. His tone is light, airy, rather teasing.

This is the strangest interview Anakin has ever had.

“Um,” he says. “Well. There’s mechanics.”

“Oh?” The man’s eyebrow lifts at an elegant angle. He props his chin on the palm of his hand and looks up at Anakin through his eyelashes. “Then why come here to us then?”

“Um,” Anakin says, and not because the man looks rather unfairly flattering like this, amber eyelashes in sharp relief against the blue of his eyes.

They’re interrupted by the sounds of clattering in the backroom, stomping and cursing. The man before him straightens with a slight sigh and picks up the closest flimsipad. “And what brings you in here today, sir?” he asks rather loudly, pitching his voice back to the other room of the shop pointedly. “Problem with your speeder? Serving droid? Cruiser? If it’s your astromech droid, I regret to inform you that I’ll have to refuse you service on account of the fact that I don’t particularly care for them.”

Anakin thinks he splutters, but whatever noise he makes is definitely drowned out by the rather irritated shout of Obi-Wan! that comes from the back.

A moment later, a man storms through the door, looking annoyed. "We will service an astomech if that's what's broken, Obi-Wan."

Now this is a man that Anakin can believe is a mechanic. His nails are blackened with oil, and his bare, burly arms carry smudges of the stuff. He’s much broader than the man—Obi-Wan—that Anakin had been talking to. He’s bald with a reddened scalp and a rather large red beard that’s the antithesis of the other man’s in every way. His clothes are dirty, loose, and the color of ash. He looks older too—whereas Obi-Wan could easily be in his thirties, this man must be pushing fifty.

He snaps at Obi-Wan in a language that Anakin doesn’t understand. Obi-Wan shrugs and hands over the flimsi pad without argument.

“Um, actually,” Anakin says, feeling incredibly wrong-footed. “Which one of you is Kenobi?”

“I am,” both of them say. Obi-Wan’s smirking slightly. The other man’s voice is louder, carrying that Stewjoni accent so obviously lacking in Obi-Wan’s speech.

The older man closes his eyes as if he’s praying for patience. “We both are,” he says. “Though if your ship’s malfunctioned, sir, I’m the Kenobi you want to see. This one’s good for naught but magic tricks.”

“I have been told I’m rather good at other things,” Obi-Wan turns his smirk full-force at Anakin, dropping his eyes to Anakin’s lips once more.

“My name is Anakin Skywalker,” he says very quickly in a very normal tone of voice that is most definitely not a squeak. “I’m here to interview for a position. As another mechanic.”

“Oh,” the older Kenobi says.

“Oh,” the younger Kenobi says in a much different tone.

The older Kenobi pinches at his nose for a moment before turning around the counter and offering his hand. “Ben,” he says. “Ben Kenobi.”

Anakin takes his hand and shakes it, eyes traveling back to Obi-Wan. Is he supposed to shake his hand too?

“I’m the Son in the sign,” Ben says gruffly as if that answers his question.

“I’m the reason it’s plural,” Obi-Wan adds, busying himself with the contents of the counter. From what Anakin can tell, the man is just messing up the carefully organized piles of receipts. 

He decides that he would rather not get the job than point this out to Ben.

Ben huffs out something in Stewjoni that sounds downright insulting, but that doesn’t stop Obi-Wan from smiling sunnily up at Anakin. “My brother enjoys bitching and moaning that I came back home when I was seventeen, but he’s awfully quick to foist his children off on me when he’s called to shift at the rig offshore and Marci’s off-planet too.”

Anakin blinks. He feels like that’s the safest answer.

“Only thing good that blasted Jedi Order ever taught you was how to handle younglings,” Ben says, and then spits on the ground as if the words themselves have left a bad taste in his mouth.

Anakin blinks and wonders if he should say something to remind the brothers that he’s here. For an interview. “And my magic tricks,” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes slightly before catching Anakin’s eye and winking. With a wave of his hand, a flimsi-sheet flies over the counter and into Anakin’s chest. He catches it unthinkingly. “Would you like to sign in, sir?” “Get out of here,” Ben barks, snatching the flimsi from Anakin’s hand and pushing it back to the counter. “Like I said, the only one’s impressed with that is the younglings.”

“I don’t know, your man looks impressed,” Obi-Wan says slyly, even as he pushes himself away from the counter and around the edge of it.

Anakin isn’t sure what he looks like. He doesn’t think impressed is the word he’d use though.

When Obi-Wan brushes past him, the static electricity in the air jumps between their shoulders. Anakin feels as if he’s been shocked.

Obi-Wan must feel it too because he stops only a few inches away and looks at Anakin. For the first time, his expression is open. Curious. Considering.

“Get!” His brother insists, and Obi-Wan obeys, throwing one last look over his shoulder at Anakin before he slips out the door.

The shop feels somehow much bigger now that the other man has left. Ben sighs and rubs a hand down his face. He looks older now. More worn. “So that was my brother,” he tells Anakin wearily. “Who you would most likely see frequently if you were to take this job. I would understand completely if you would like to start by talking compensation.”

#asks #prompt fills #obikin #so he's not a nanny YET #i absolutely got too into the exposition lol #but in my mind he looks after luke and leia while anakin is at work #and then after a few months anakin is asked to do a few week stint at a rig off shore #(thnk of it either like oil rig or like the underwater station in the kenobi show) #and he goes and obi-wan looks after his kids #ok mostly i just wanted to write obnoxious little brother obi-wan #he leaves the order at 15 to go to melida/daan #and isn't allowed back in so he fights and rebuilds #but eventually leaves and goes to stewjon where he finds his family #and his brother both hates him and loves him more than anything else in the world #and hates the jedi order for rejecting him and letting him fight and risking his baby brother's life #and obi-wan finds this amusing and also secretly touching #you can tell i thought way too much about this brother dynamic lol #but just imagine the you hurt my brother speech this guy will give to anakin #and obi-wan's in the back like im thirty nine

[one-real-imonkey]

Hello

I can't help but thank you for the incredible fanfics you have made, wonderful fics that leave me waiting more and more, so I share with you an idea I had while reading your fics.

• In a universe where Anakin arrived at the newborn temple, Obi-Wan has visions of how Palpatine would control him from a young age to destroy the order, so he steals his little baby Anakin, leaves the order one night and heads to the only place where They would accept two missing children, yes, Jaster (who did not die!) so he can train Anakin in a healthy and good environment where no old politician can poke their noses.

It is a completely platonic, familiar idea full of love between siblings, Mandalorian parents and magical powers of a child in Beskar.

Awwww thank you so much.

———

I love it.

This young Obi-Wan, 15 and still recovering from Melida/Daan, sitting in the crèches as part of his healing when he meets this youngling. Tiny baby who cries and cries and only settles in his arms, and then the visions start. The fall of the Temple, war that he first things were memories from Melida/Daan but then realises are still to come and Ani, little Ani, being controlled and used in such a way.

He has to do something.

He has visions about Mandalore too, about Jasters death, Galidraan, all of it. Mandalore falling because with the True Mandalorians gone it’s the Sith aligned Death Watch or the pacifists who can’t fight back.

He figures 1+1 is 2, he can save Mandalore and get Anakin out of the Siths way.

Besides, no Mandalorian would dare let someone hurt a child, the Sith won’t get near Anakin with a Mandalorian parent.

Of course, Obi-Wan being Obi-Wan is only thinking about Anakin, he knows he’ll face punishment for kidnapping Anakin, he’s already on probation for leaving during Melida/Daan (it’s supposed to be to help him adjust to coming back but QGJ is lying and saying he’s deciding whether Obi will come back as a Jedi) but of course Jaster sees two kids who need a home and adopts Obi-Wan too.

He gave up everything to save a child, he saved Jaster, his son and his people, he’s been through a literal war with child soldiers and he’s suffered and how could Jaster not adopt this child too.

Jango loves having two little brothers. Jaster loves all his sons.

Palpabitch dies a horrific death at the hands of an overprotective Buir after trying to go for his kids (one to clone, one to fall and one to hurt/kill so the other will fall (or at least get out of the way so he can’t save either of the others)).

The Jedi never get close to the Sith, overprotective Mandalorians get there far sooner and obliterates the whole plan and organisation.

———

Thanks for sending this. I love the idea, it’s got so much potential.

———

Edit: there’s more details in the notes.

#star wars #ask response #star wars au #star wars prompt #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #jaster mereel #jango fett #sheev palpatine #anti qui gon jinn #melida/daan #over protective Mandalorians #I don’t know if I’ll get around to writing this but I love the premise #anyone wants to though go for it #bynaru #thank you #this is awesome

[feylesofia]

incorrect quote, but actually fic draft i wrote at 3 am. enjoy.

Obi-Wan: It wasn't a mission. I mean, it was, to take Master Tahl out of the planet. I stayed. I left the Order. The Senate hadn't given us authority, so I.... left.

Anakin: What WHAT you left the order?? But it's your thing? You love it?!

it's not my thing, went unsaid.

Obi-Wan laughed, fond wrinkles appearing on his face with the way Anakin uniquely described things. "Yes," he said. "Yes, I suppose I do. But, truth be told, you shouldn't be that surprised. It isn't the onşy time I considered to leave."

Anakin: WAİT WHEN NO WAIT FIRST TELL ME MELİDA DAAN

Obi-Wan: QUİGON LEFT ME

Anakin: WHAT NO (RAGE) you wanted to help children???

Obi-Wan: Sometimes all you have is bad choices but you still have to choose, anakin.

Anakin: I WANTED TO LEFT FOR MUCH LESS! I WAMTED TO LEAVE FOR NOTHING I AM AN IDIOT

(comics where anakin considered leaving when he was 15?)

Obi-Wan: (really considers this) No anakin, honestşy I think it was a mature consideration, reflecting on who you are and what Jedi is and finding your own path.

Anakin: WHAT REFLECTION? IT WAS CHANCELLOR no no you dont understand oh no

Obi-Wan: w h a t

Anakin: I was going to leave you all behind just because he wanted me to work with him??

Obi-Wan: (discomforted) Oh. Now I feel very good because not like I was going to leave ypu to ypur own devices. Nope

Anakin: What.

Obi-Wan: Oh yes I was planning to leave with you had you made the choice

Anakin: WHAT

Obi-Wan: yes.

Anakin: but ypu love it so much... being a jedi... im gonna cry..

Obi-Wan: yes, but i love other things too, and jedi is not just a word for me, anakin, you know that.

silemce.

Anakin: So... two times? ypu considered it two times?

Obi-Wan: (An embarassed frown) I assume you remember Satine?

Anakin: (laugh) thinking over things Oh no Padmé! anakin thinking over things wow first time

Obi-Wan: I know, Anakin, you are npt merely satisfied with this life. I will support you but I will ask ypu to grit ypur teeth through the war. I have to. I am aware of the outline of the events. Whichever path you follow, never forget I am a step behind you, my friend.

#ahem #but it is barely a fix-it because anakin's whole mindset will not change with one conversation #however obi-wan can suspect sidious because who persuades a child to leave an order without any gain on it? #star wars #incorrect quotes #incorrect star wars quotes #incorrect star wars clone wars quotes #the clone wars #prequels #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #satine kryze #melida/daan #jedi apprentice #legends #anakin is still an idiot but chancellor is sus

[alrighty-anubis]

I would never be angry at you (Anakin & Obi-Wan)

2No Warnings Apply 

During a game of twenty questions Anakin finds out that his master isn't the perfect Jedi. This sparks his confession about the Tusken Raiders and his marriage to Padme.

(Mentioned Obi-Wan X Cody)

Find it on AO3

Obi-Wan entered their shared quarters and flopped onto his bunk, all the grace of a Jedi Master replaced with exhaustion.

“Bad day?” Anakin asked, words mumbled by his mouth stuffed full with sweets.

“Yes.”

This was an under-exaggeration, Anakin thought, if the man hadn’t told him off for talking with food in his mouth.

Obi-Wan pulled his outer-robes and boots off before reaching under his bed.

“What is that?”

“Wine.”

“That does not look like wine, Master-”

“It's from Bail. Old, strong and illegal in 12 systems.”

“Master,” Anakin drawled out, knowing his tolerance was nothing compared to the other’s and if Obi-Wan admitted it was strong…

Obi-Wan sighed and reached behind the drawers, retrieving another (Anakin-friendly) bottle.

“How did you know that was there?”

“I’m your Master, you can’t hide things from me.”

“Why didn’t you confiscate it, then?” Anakin asked, confused by his rule-following Master allowing Anakin to stash alcohol - he’d been using that space since he was 15.

“You’re an adult now, Anakin. And quite frankly I was just glad you had friends.”

“Hey-” _________

Anakin and Obi-Wan were leaning against each other on his bunk.

“I know,” Anakin smirked, “How about we play a game.”

“Oh?” Obi-Wan looked down at Anakin.

“Twenty questions.”

Obi-Wan let out a breath laugh of amusement. “Okay, then. When was the last time you tested Ahsoka on her cultural studies?”

Anakin scowled.

“Well, you’re lucky I’ve been taking over the theory instruction of our Padawan.”

“My Padawan.”

“When she’s misbehaving.”

“Hey! Anyway, I have a question. Would you rather kiss Windu or Plo Koon?”

“It's Master’s Windu and Koon” Obi-Wan corrected.

“So you don’t mind speculating about which one you’d kiss, but the lack of ‘Master’ is where you draw the line?”

“I would kiss Plo, he is a dear friend of mine and quite frankly not as scary.”

Anakin laughed, “You’re afraid of Windu?”

“Like you aren’t," Obi-Wan feigned thinking before planting a smirk on his face, "Okay, what is your Grievous tactic?”

“How do you know that?” Anakin burst out.

“I just have a second sense when it comes to your stupidity,”

“I swear if Rex told you-”

“Wrong trooper.”

“Wrong trooper! Which other ones have you been hanging out with? Wait. Are you stealing my men?”

Obi-Wan just smiled.

“Fine. Ahsoka sits on my shoulders and we wield four sabers like him.”

“By the force, Anakin -”

“We spin them manically and-”

“Wait. Where did you get the fourth lightsaber?” Obi-Wan interrupted

Anakin grew quiet, his voice reluctant, “Sometimes Cody doesn’t return it to you immediately, and we both know he’s weak to Ahsoka’s tooka eyes, like most of the men,” Anakin trailed off. Just as Obi-Wan was going to scald him he carried on, “What would you do if you weren’t a Jedi?”

Obi-Wan decided to let go of his line of questioning in hopes of avoiding going grey early. “I don’t know - I’d want to help people. I could say something rather Jedi-like, such as work the land. But I’m afraid I was put off that when I was sent to the Agricorps. Realistically, I’d probably still be a general as I am now - just without a lightsaber. As much as I hate war and the bloodshed that comes with it - I am rather good at it. As much as I try to be the perfect Jedi, my skills lay in an area which juxtaposes that. It is ironic, I suppose, that I was never meant to be a Jedi Knight, I become one anyway, and then my speciality recognised by the Council is the furthest thing from peace.”

“What?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes narrowed on his glass and his signature resonated with shame, “I had planned on never telling you that. But it just felt like you needed to know. I’m sorry if I’ve shattered your image of me.”

Anakin’s face lit up with relief, “You’re not perfect”, he breathed out.

“No,” Obi-Wan’s low chuckle was exasperated and self loathing, “No, Anakin, I’ve never been perfect.”

“Why didn’t you want to tell me?”

“Because I was ashamed of my past, still am. I was a run-of-the-mill youngling: too much anger and too much pride. No Masters wanted me and I was sent to the Agricorps.”

“What do you mean no Master wanted you? You and Qui-Gon were so close!”

Obi-Wan looked down and moved away from Anakin. “We weren’t as close as you think, these memories are from when you were young and naïve. We were too different, we fought and I always knew he didn’t want me. You saw how quickly he threw me away for you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You were the best thing to come from him,” Obi-Wan’s voice was steeped in a resentment that Anakin had never thought possible.

“You were angry. As a youngling”

“Very much so. Anger and attachment were always my biggest pitfalls. I’ve worked hard on them, but I’m afraid my issues with attachments have grown rather than disappeared.”

Anakin smiled at that, taking Obi-Wan’s hand, “You know, I never realised how much like me you were. Nearly as much as a disappointment to the Jedi.”

Obi-Wan laughed, body shaking as a smile replaced his reminiscent scowl, “Well, only one of us has left the order.”

“You’re joking”

“No, Melida/Daan. Qui-Gon wouldn’t stay to help the children in the war. I did.”

“Your experience being a General before this?”

“Yes.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, comfortable in each other's presence. But as Anakin stewed in the other’s words his anxiety leaked into the force.

“This could have really helped me when I was a Padawan.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It was selfish to want to maintain the way you saw me - the perfect Jedi.”

“I always compared myself to you, looked up to you, I resented you for a bit because of it.”

“I know. And I knew at the time. I was not the Master you needed.”

“You were the best Master you could be,”

Obi-Wan laughed self-deprecatingly.

“No, Master, I mean it. You weren’t the problem. I was,” Anakin paused and wringed his hands as he considered his next words, “My anger was-is a problem. I have done things I regret and that you would hate me for.”

Obi-Wan’s shock at that statement had him sitting straight and placing a hand on Anakin’s cheek, “No, Anakin, I could never hate you, never, you’re my Padawan. I love you.”

Anakin recoiled from the touch, not believing he deserved his Master’s love at this moment. A man so ashamed of leaving the Jedi to save children in a way zone as a Padawan. Anakin had much worse things to be ashamed of. Things he didn’t think Obi-Wan could ever even imagine himself doing. Tears gathered in his eyes as he looked down at his lap through his lashes.

“I killed the Tusken Raiders. They hurt my mother - she’s dead - and I killed them all,” the tears began streaming down his cheeks.

“Oh, oh, Anakin, dearest” Obi-Wan whispered.

Anakin couldn’t stand that tone. He stood up and began passing. Eyes puffy and hands shaking, he began to shout, “I cut them down and felt nothing. The children - they screamed for their mothers - like I had - and I cut them down like animals. I hated them. And the dark, the dark it curled around me - it was like someone was choking me and cutting me off from my body and my emotions like I was a puppet killing them all.”

He grabbed his hair tightly in his hands and pulled, sinking down to the ground, “I killed them, I killed them,” it was as if the fog had cleared and Anakin was realising this for the first time.

“Hey,” Obi-Wan stepped forward and gently grasped his Padawan’s wrists, trying to untangle his hair from his unyielding grip, “Anakin, stop. You’re hurting yourself.”

“I hurt them.”

“Yes, you did. And you can’t change that,” Obi-Wan took a calming breath and repressed his shock and upset, his Padawan looked so small and this darkness wasn’t all his own.

“Anakin, what you did was wrong and entrenched in darkness. But you are light. This action hasn’t changed that. And I do not think it happened without influence. But Anakin, so many Jedi struggle with the dark. We have the power to enact our own judgement and no one can stop us. That is why we need to stop ourselves. And this time you didn’t. You can’t bring back the Tuskens, but you can let go of your anger and make sure this won't happen again.”

“I don’t know how to let it go.”

“Oh, Anakin-”

“It is so deep inside me, tangled with all the light,” Anakin let Obi-Wan take his hands away from his hair, staring far into his eyes, “Master, help.”

“I wish I had seen this sooner. Anakin, tomorrow morning we will start. We will meditate together and I can guide you.”

“Please, I’m sorry.”

“I know, dear one,” Obi-Wan collected Anakin into his arms.

“Will you tell the council?”

“No, at least not for now.”

“They will kick me out and then I’ll have to leave you and Ahsoka and Rex and-”

“Anakin, if they expelled you we would all follow.”

“Oh. Why won’t you tell them?”

“I don’t trust them to judge the situation fairly, there is something not quite right in the council. They’re stuck in ways from times which have long passed. And Quinlan and I may be doing some under the radar investigating that which is influencing and amplifying your darkness may help.”

“You’re both taking a mission they’ve denied.”

“They can’t deny that they don’t know about.”

Anakin smiled for a moment in the comfortable silence before sombering again. “I thought you’d be angry at me,” Anakin whispered.

“No,” sadness filled Obi-Wan as he gently took Anakin’s face into his hands and placed a kiss on his forehead, “No, my Padawan, I could never be angry at you.”

He pulled a blanket to him with the force and wrapped them in it, “I wish you had told me, but I wasn’t the most approachable Master. I put walls between us unintentionally, to protect myself I guess, and you. I didn’t want you to grow attached. I knew I was and wanted to spare you the judgement and the pain. I wasn’t a good role model so part of me felt better when you despised me in your late teens. I’m truly sorry I wasn’t a better Master, Anakin. But know now, you can tell me anything and I will always love you. I raised you, all parts of you.”

“I’m sorry.” Anakin’s eyes were dry, but red and puffy, he had run out of tears and exhaustion hit him. “I’m also married to Padme.”

“I know,”

“I broke the code again.”

“Yes, but that is the order’s code - not the Jedi's.”

Anakin looked at him in confusion.

“You know, I am in a relationship of sorts with Cody.”

Anakin burst out of the blanket in shock, suddenly very awake, “Cody!”

“I thought it was obvious, even the council knows, unofficially of course. Another reason they make life harder for our lineage.”

“I didn’t know.”

“-Because you were trying so hard to conceal your own relationship. I mean, you mentioned only earlier that he carried my lightsaber.”

“I didn’t think it meant anything.”

“Aren’t I always telling you that your lightsaber is your life?”

Over the shock of the new information, desperately trying not to think about Cody and his Master, Anakin asked: “How did you know about Padme and me?”

“Everyone knows, you’re not very subtle.”

Anakin huffed in annoyance.

“It's okay, Anakin. I forgive you for everything. I only ask that you forgive me for not making sure you understood the rule of attachment and for not teaching you my own interpretation.”

“What I have to forgive you for is nothing compared to what I did.”

“And yet I forgive you. I always will so long as you realise that you were wrong and want to do better. I think we forget that the Jedi code is not what we should or can be, but an ideal we should strive for, to be as close to as we can.”

“What do you think about not allowing love?”

“I think you mean not allowing attachment. Love and attachment are different. Love is selfless, attachment selfish - something that would lead you to do anything to keep those that are yours. Attachment is possessive, love is not.”

Anakin looked as if the origins of the universe had been revealed.

“Some Jedi believe we should not love, for love leads to attachment. But to be a Jedi is to live enveloped by the force, to welcome all aspects of it. Not to command it, like the dark, but to embrace it. The force is life, and loving is such a fundamental aspect of life that to ban it is to sensor a huge chunk of the force. Jedi are taught to be compassionate, and I believe it is only by loving truly, selflessly and in a way open to all life forms that we can truly be so to all.”

“How do you stop love becoming attachment?”

“I don’t know - it's never been my strong suit. If you were taken I would tear cities apart to find you, just as you would for Ahsoka - and I would too.”

“I would for you as well.”

“I’m not sure if I should say thank you or not. I know that I would not react in a very Jedi way. I have these attachments and they won't go, and I’m not willing to work on letting them go. But if you were ever to be killed, which I pray to the force doesn’t happen, I would have to accept it. It would kill me to do so, but I would - eventually. And I have in the past. I think, the law of attachment, is recognising that you are attached but building boundaries that you won't cross. I may be angry, but I would try my hardest not to let go and act on it. I would think about how you wouldn’t want me to fall. Although this is all easier said than done.”

“I can love Padme, you, Ahsoka, Rex, my men and my droids and do everything in my power to not let them get hurt so long as I don’t hurt others in the process.”

“Yes. We are not judges. Nor do we have any right to execute our will because of our emotions. But we do have a right to feel those emotions. For example, I would travel anywhere to save you, but not if it put the lives of all my men at risk. I am responsible for them, and my attachments aren’t theirs.”

Anakin nodded and tears welled in his eyes, “I want to be like that. Good. Like you. But I wasn’t. How do I know that I will be next time?”

“You know that you can talk to me, or at least I hope you do,” Obi-Wan stood up.

“Yes,” Anakin took the other’s hand and was pulled upright, they headed towards Anakin’s bunk where Obi-Wan unceremoniously plonked him, “When did you get so wise, Master?”

“I always have been,” Obi-Wan chuckled, “You’ve just never listened before.”

Obi-Wan returned to his own bunk and laid down, closing his eyes. Just as he began to drift off Anakin woke him, “Wait, all those nighttime council meetings that were too secret for me to attend, were you fucking Cody?”

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan scalded before a blush sprayed across his cheeks, “Yes, but unlike you and Padme I enjoy the illusion of discreteness.”

“Ugh, Master, I didn’t need to know that.”

“You asked,” Obi-Wan sounded all too amused at his Padawan’s disgust. “Now rest. I’m sure tomorrow will be exhausting.”

“And yet you always tell me meditating is restful.”

“Not when you’re complaining the whole way through.”

“I won’t, I promise. Not for this. Good night, Master.”

“Good night, Anakin.”

Words: 2600

Feel free to message requests

#obi wan kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #anakin and obi wan #anakin x padme #cody x obi wan #angst #fanfic #star wars fanfiction #AO3 fanfic #star wars #star wars prequels #Clone Wars #obi wan is so pure #obi wan angst #obi wan needs a hug #clone wars anakin #anakin and ahsoka #ahsoka and obi wan #anakin centric #anakin angst #anakin doesn't turn to the dark side

[crispyjenkins]

For the I wish you would meme: Cerasi, Nield and Obi-wan being the Triumvirate of Melidaan and absolutely fucking every single one of Friendpatine's plans (maybe Jangobi also, because I am weak for those two when you write them)?

oh gosh oh gosh y’all know i love me my melida/daan aus, and these three as an accidentally hyper-competent triumvirate is my everything

so i’m thinking

they’re still kids. obi’s what, 14 during the civil war? for whatever reason, the jedi can’t send help, cerasi and obi-wan have to deal with nield’s power trip on their own but they make it work and divvy up the control of the planet (i’m attached to the idea that cerasi renames the planet Tahl for Reasons™) and start reaching out to other planets for trade and such

obi is the baby of the triumvirate, but has the most diplomatic experience from his lessons in the temple and his one year with qui-gon, annnnd maybe they want to hire a mandalorian commando as guard detail so obi-wan doesn’t get himself killed on the way to coruscant to officially rejoin the medlidaan system with the republic.

now obviously since i’m having them all so young, let’s slash that age difference down to two or three years? so obi-wan is 15/16 from a planet still recovering from centuries of war and famine, and obi-wan is still recovering from leaving the order and is a little frazzled and doesn’t look much like a planetary delegate/senator

but jango, fresh off escaping slavery and getting his armor back, just wants to get through this job so he can go track down jaster’s old ship

hmm i like to think the fucking of friendpatine’s plans is accidental at first, just nield making alliances he hadn’t counted on, cerasi reaching out to financially help the jedi order become less dependent on the senate in exchange for help settling the rest of the planet into the new government. it’s obi-wan joining committees in the senate that push for laws and movements that make it that much harder for palpatine to make his plans work

(maybe naboo is an early alliance with the triumvirate, which would affect the queen before padme who palps influenced into taking fewer and fewer imports which left them especially vulnerable when the trade federation invaded, maybe palpatine doesn’t even make it to senator lmao)

anyways jango sticks around for a little while, ‘cause there have been four attempts on obi-wan’s life already and when jango takes a job, he does it right. does this influence him to rethink mand’alor? mayhaps (˘ ◡  ˘ღ) 

did i turn this into a giant excuse for a bodyguard au? mayhaps (ﾟ◡ ﾟღ)

(also i keep rereading this cause the “when you write them” makes my heart spin ahhh thank you 🧡 sorry this took so long!)

#cj answers #wish you would write meme #krgot #to fic #because i'm ruined now #jangobi #melida/daan au

[mneiai]

Re-Imagining Jedi Apprentice: Melida/Daan

For those of you familiar with this, I’ve been attempting to re-imagine Jedi Apprentice in a way that allows me to still use the significant parts of the backstory, but doesn’t make the Jedi look absolutely awful. Melida/Daan is a major part of it, in that it makes the Jedi look horrific while also being a really popular part of Obi-Wan’s backstory (because him having a past as a child soldier puts a very angsty spin on the Clone Wars and the child slave soldier thing).

This can be found on AO3, as well, along with prior parts of this ‘series’, along with in the tags on my blog. I will not be taking any criticism about how I, an abuse survivor, should ignore abuse in JA because it’s a “common YA trope” and apparently if bad things are common in fiction that means...we should ignore them or something wtf is wrong with people.

Melida/Daan:

An Outer Rim world that has suffered through around two centuries of civil war between the major ethnic groups of the Melida and Daan. Each generation perpetuates the idea of vengeance and payback, encouraging their children to continue the fight after their deaths, and the only real art or culture they have is monuments to dead warmongering relatives/ancestors.

The Melida/Daan Mission:

In JA, Jedi Master Tahl is sent to help wtih negotiations between the two sides, but is kidnapped and tortured by one of them. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are sent to rescue her. They bumble around and are saved/helped by Cerasi, a member of a group called the Young.

We learn that the Young are children of both sides of the war who don't agree with the fighting and want it to end. They're living in catacombs connected to the sewers and barely surviving. Cerasi, at 13, is one of the older children. She helps them get to Tahl, providing all the info they need as well as a necessary distraction and then they take Tahl back to the Young hideout.

Obi-Wan, having a lot of empathy and obviously horrified about the situation these kids are in, wants to help them. Qui-Gon insists that they must follow <i>only</i> the mission directive and do no more. Eventually, Qui-Gon takes Tahl to their ship (and I should mention, they were age mates and he's kinda obsessed with Tahl, it's creepy) and Obi-Wan, as the Elders (older adults) are bombing the Young, insists he's staying. Qui-Gon goes back to the Temple, leaving a 13 year old Obi-Wan, without even a lightsaber, in the middle of a civil war.

Obi-Wan and the Young would go on to win the war (with the help of the Middle Generation) and setup a new government run by the leader of the Young, Nield, with a Council that included Obi-Wan and Cerasi. Except that Nield wants to destroy the signs of the old culture of Melida/Daan while others want to focus on rebuilding. Tensions run high. Cerasi is assassinated by Mawat, another member of the Young, to try to reignite war and kill off the Elders that remain.

Chaos erupts and Obi-Wan has to beg the Temple to send help. Qui-Gon comes back to Melida/Daan, has the Elders make peace, and reluctantly takes Obi-Wan back to the Temple, though not as his Padawan.

The Melida/Daan arc is Not A Good Look. And it continues to be Not A Good Look the entire rest of the JA series, wherein Obi-Wan gets blamed and shamed when he eventually returns to the Temple, even by his friends, for "abandoning" his Master, and gets reprimanded by the Council itself. Qui-Gon faces no consequences for leaving a 13 year old, his Padawan, on probably one of the worst planets to leave someone on in the known galaxy.

Much like the first novel, which people can trace directly to them disliking Yoda and the Order, the fallout from Melida/Daan is something people often cite as a reason they dislike the Council and especially Qui-Gon.

How To Keep Melida/Daan But Not Make The Order Look Like Negligent Monsters (Again):

Jedi Master Tahl is sent to help negotiate peace between the Melida and the Daan, who for the first time in centuries have agreed to an outside negotiator present, which is taken as a good sign from everyone. While there, a "terrorist" attack leaves her injured. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are sent to assess whether she needs to be evacuated and for Qui-Gon to take over negotiations if she can stay. At this point Obi-Wan is 15 and has been Qui-Gon's apprentice for a few years.

Both the Melida and Daan are blaming each other for the attack, but upon investigating, the Jedi find that the actual attackers are very contrite members of the Young--Tahl wasn't even supposed to be where she was when the bomb went off, the building was supposed to be empty, and was meant to show the Jedi that things on Melida/Daan were not as "peaceful" as they appeared.

The Young are mostly orphans, ranging from around 18 down to little kids, living in catacombs under the city and traveling through sewers, still. They're barely getting enough to eat (especially for growing children), but if they get caught by the adults they'll be sent to factories and work camps to continue the war effort (ones that, as part of the peace deal, were supposed to be shut down already). Qui-Gon agrees that this needs to be investigated more closely and allows Obi-Wan to continue speaking to the Young, who trust him more since he's a fellow child. He gets more and more attached to them and their cause as he does so.

Tahl has a setback and must be taken to Coruscant for treatment. Obi-Wan refuses to go, scared that without a Jedi presence, the Melida and Daan might restart hostilities or go after the Young. Qui-Gon reluctantly agrees to leave Obi-Wan behind, after sending out a message to nearby Knights and finding one in the vicinity who could make it there in less than a day to take charge of the mission, temporarily, and act as a guardian to Obi-Wan. The Melida and Daan have made lots of overtures that they want peace and will continue to hold their truce.

Except basically the moment Qui-Gon is out of the system, the war starts back up. The Knight never makes it to the surface, shot down in the atmosphere, and Obi-Wan is left living with and fighting beside the Young to survive.

Back on Coruscant, we get a sign of Senate interference as they stall any missions back to Melida/Daan. Qui-Gon is frantic (as anyone who cares about Obi-Wan would be), enough that he goes to his mostly estranged Master for assistance. Dooku is near leaving the Order, partially from Sith interference/influence and partially because of the Senate corruption and the way the Order just bows to their whims.

Meanwhile, on Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan realizes that help isn't coming after a few days with no signs of more Jedi and throws himself into working with the Young to try to stop the war. They know the terrain, the Melida and Daan tactics and weaponry, and Obi-Wan has studied various conflicts and battles already in his education as an Initiate and Padawan. The Young starts making real progress against the Melida and Daan, who were unprepared for how well-organized the Young are (and some of the Force tricks that Obi-Wan has learned have been helping, too).

The Council eventually goes behind the Senate's back, sending Qui-Gon on a mission to nearby D'Qar to collect samples for a Temple researcher, with a very long allotment of time to do so. Qui-Gon, of course, heads to Melida/Daan, managing to land because the Young had destroyed most of the planetary defenses after finding the wreckage from the Knight's ship. He finds the Young far more organized and regretfully more militant, and a wary Obi-Wan. With Qui-Gon back, the Young allied with the Middle Generation, and the Elders' infrastructure mostly destroyed or co-opted, they finally sue for peace talks again.

Mawat and some of the other Young still don't want peace, they want to punish the Elders for all the horror and pain they've suffered, and Cerasi is caught in the crossfire when they attack the talks. She dies in Obi-Wan's arms, becoming a martyr for the peace on Melida/Daan.

A council is setup initially to rule, with representatives across the age groups and an equal amount of Melida and Daan. The Senate finally sends another representative, a beauracrat who will oversee the formation of the new government, and Obi-Wan leaves with some small peace of mind, despite his grief.

After the trauma and chaos of the Melida/Daan mission, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are given a break to recuperate. Their first mission after is a "cake walk" mission to witness the peaceful transition of governments to a young Duchess on Mandalore. It is, of course, not.

#reworking JA #melida/daan

[starwarsfic]

I.8

Originally posted July 15, 2020

Summary: The slow build of the war between the Separatists and the Republic split the Jedi apart.

Details: AOTC AU (no hit on Padme, Kamino never found).

xxxxxx

War trickled in slowly. Most people not even noticing that the conflict had devolved into war until the Chancellor stood before the whole of the Senate, on a live broadcast, and declared it. The Senate had erupted into noise, into yelling and even, in a few cases, outright fighting.

The Council itself, let alone the Order, were near as contentious as the Senate. Those who were old enough to remember the last war or, like Obi-Wan, had fought in wars, calling for neutrality--demanding it. But, eventually, because of the ties to the Senate and the Republic, the Council stated that the Order could not stay neutral.

But, because of the arguments, because of the threats of some even to leave the Order, they also stated that it would be voluntary. That the Jedi could choose to stay and fight for the Republic--or could leave for the Neutral Systems and continue the less bellacose role, there.

For Obi-Wan, it was a horrible decision to make. Anakin had only recently been knighted and he was staying--for the Chancellor, for Padme. For the glory he thought, somehow, he could find in war.

They had never spoken of Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan unable to broach the subject and not wanting either pity or for Anakin to deny how awful the situation was in his eternal hero worship of Qui-Gon.

He had spoken, once or twice, of Mandalore, especially with Anakin's ever increasing interest in Padme. So that was the excuse he used, not that he thought another war would break him, not that ever since the conflict started he'd been having nightmares of what had happened to the Young. Instead he spoke of Satine, of Mandalore, and Anakin resigned himself to his Master being a little more of a pacifist than he'd thought.

Other Jedi left, many other Jedi, to the point where Obi-Wan thought the Council was debating its offer and would force them to stay. He didn't wait any longer, leaving after a pointed offer to Yoda of contacting his grandmaster and trying to find out what in the world he thought he was doing.

The war was sloppy, awful. Somehow the Jedi had been placed in charge of clone troopers and made generals. Jedi who had no experience for it. It seemed that everyday Satine had to talk him out of going back, if only to try to help people survive.

It spilled over into the Order, the two sides of the Jedi becoming more hostile towards each other. Warmongers, the neutral Jedi called those that stayed. Cowards, the ones who fought called them. Obi-Wan couldn't understand it, it felt almost as though something was influencing them, feeding the conflict, but he could find no source.

When it came the official split, despite all the signs it would happen, still blindsided some of them. Obi-Wan was among that group, having thought they'd resolve the internal conflict, this was their family. But the Council had demanded they return, that they fulfill their "duty" to fight in the war, and that could not happen.

Worse, though, wasn't even the split (as reluctantly as Obi-Wan went along with it, sending out coded messages to Anakin hoping his former padawan could forgive him), it was when the fighting started. Suddenly the neutral Jedi weren't just cowards, they were traitors. They could no longer risk going into Republican space, or anywhere they might run into a Republican Jedi.

Satine and the Council of Neutral Systems sheltered them, outraged. They believed that the neutral Jedi had been right, after all. The Republic, the Chancellor, even agreed, though Obi-Wan realized with trepidation that what resulted in that was the people of the Republic turning against the Republican Jedi. Everything the Neutral Jedi had been saying against them was now being said by the very people they were fighting to protect.

He almost wasn't surprised when they apparently betrayed the Senate and tried to assassinate the Chancellor. Especially when Anakin finally managed to get word to him, explaining the plot, the horrible things the Jedi had been doing and planning to do.

Obi-Wan mourned them, of course he did, but it was more that he was mourning the people they used to be. And while he didn't agree with the Empire that had emerged out of the failed coup, he was hopeful that maybe there could be peace again.

#character: obi wan kenobi #ship: anakin & obi wan #ship: satine & obi wan #theme: clone wars #theme: jedi culture #verse: alternate aotc