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themagicmistress · 2 years

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When the sun sets in Lotus Pier, the lotus that dot the lake disappear and when Jiang Cheng is little he thinks this means they must be dead. He runs every night to the edge of the docks to say goodbye and then worriedly peers out the windows in the morning. How much must it hurt, to die every time the dark so much as touches you, he wonders. The sea turning its black face to the sky, swallowing the lotus leaves.

Jiang Cheng thinks, the lotus bloom to the sun again because they know he wants them there. This is the conceit of a child, to think the world bends to you, but then, that is what Jiang Cheng is. A child watching a glistening dark that tinges the lotus petals violet. Darkening. Dying.

He learns. The lotus die every night. They come to life in the morning. He wakes and the lotus are in the lakebed again. The way of the world, these simple truths.

See, A-jie says to him. Still there, A-Cheng. Still here.

Come back soon, he tells them fervently and she laughs.

Jiang Cheng finds Wei Wuxian slinking back to the Main House. He squares his feet and his shoulders and when Wei Wuxian sees him, he goes still.

“Where were you,” he says. This is the only question he’s asked his brother since they left their childhood home behind them, burning.

Where were you, Jiang Cheng says. Not, why weren’t you here? Or, I want you to be beside me. He doesn’t know the words that fit these wants, too big, too frightening to put to words. Not the right ones. Instead, he demands, accuses.

“Did you know they don’t sell Scorch Seeds anymore?” Wei Wuxian says, and then smiles. Small, cajoling. “Ah, I hope the vendor is doing well. His daughter was supposed to take over the business, you know.” When Jiang Cheng stares at him in disbelief, the smile drops. Good. This isn’t a joke.

“Seeds? What the hell are you talking about?” he snaps. “We had a meeting. Where were you?”

Jin Zixun glanced over Wei Wuxian’s empty chair like it confirmed all his sneaking suspicions about him. If it was just that idiot, it wouldn’t bother Jiang Cheng so much. But it wasn’t. Unfit, lazy, drunk idiot, their faces and lilting, polite words said. Unstable, some of them whispered. Those ones scared Jiang Cheng most. And still, still his brother refused to protect himself, throwing aside his sword as though it meant nothing. How can he protect his brother when Wei Wuxian refuses to protect himself? Jiang Cheng could shake him.

Wei Wuxian shrugs. He smells like wine, sweet and cheap. “You guys talked? Solved the issue without me. I figured I’d stay out of your way.”

“You’re head disciple,” Jiang Cheng hisses at him, shoves forward and gets up close as Wei Wuxian’s expression flickers. “That means you show up. Do the work,” he sneers.

Attempt the impossible. He wants so badly for Wei Wuxian to do just that. Get back on his feet. Pull himself together and punch Jiang Cheng in the shoulder, be an eager, flitting presence at Jiang Cheng’s side the way he always has. Not this withdrawn, scarce creature who looks at Jiang Cheng like he doesn’t know he loves him.

Sometimes, Jiang Cheng thinks he dragged a corpse back to Lotus Pier that day. Or that Wei Wuxian has forgotten they’re brothers and something in the Burial Mounds killed his love of Jiang Cheng. Maybe Jiang Cheng killed it himself.

“Head disciple,” Wei Wuxian murmurs and Jiang Cheng doesn’t recognize the look on his face. “Is that me?”

“Are you drunk?” He demands. “Can’t you save it for the night? All I need you to do is show your face before you go off trying to forget what your name is.”

“Aiya, but you know I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached these days, Jiang Cheng.” Wei Wuxian shrugs but his shoulders don’t come down. “And who wants to see my face these days? You should bring in one of the others.”

“You have to be there,” Jiang Cheng says, voice rising. “No one else is head disciple. Wei Wuxian, that’s you, do you understand?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head, lightly. His face is distantly pitying like Jiang Cheng is a child misunderstanding a very simple concept. It makes him look extremely punchable.

“Exactly. Don’t you think someone else should be there for these very important things?” Wei Wuxian reasons and Jiang Cheng’s heart thumps mutedly up his throat.

Where are you, Jiang Cheng wants to scream at him.

“I want the words coming out of your mouth to start making sense,” he growls, and Zidian flickers over his hand without him meaning it (so volatile, so willing to hurt and hurt and scar) and Wei Wuxian winces.

“Just,” he cocks his head, casual in a way that cuts Jiang Cheng. “Maybe someone else should be head disciple for a while. And,” Wei Wuxian adds, quickly, like that makes this any better, “if you want to give it back to me, you can, but. For now. Someone else?”

“What?” Jiang Cheng says, cold all over.

“I mean–” Wei Wuxian laughs, and maybe there’s a tint of nervousness to it, but maybe Wei Wuxian hasn’t thought of them as brothers in a long time also, “really? All that responsibility for me? You said, Jiang Cheng, you said, where have you been?”

And before he can continue Jiang Cheng grabs him by his outer robes, a purple one shade from black and Wei Wuxian’s eyes go wide.

“Be where you’re supposed to,” he snaps. “You wear Jiang sect colours, do you understand? If you’re going to wear these colours, act like they’re worth something to you! Act like you belong, or don’t wear them at all.”

The last part slips in and Jiang Cheng closes his eyes. His tongue is a thorn and he can almost taste the blood it draws from Wei Wuxian. He doesn’t take it back.

Wei Wuxian looks stricken. “Right,” he laughs, a weak thing. “You’re right.”

Jiang Cheng lets go, cautiously. But Wei Wuxian doesn’t look like Jiang Cheng just told him he’s part of the sect, that he belongs here, with A-jie and Jiang Cheng.

He scowls. “You’ll be there next week, right?”

Wei Wuxian nods, a dip of his chin that lets them both know he won’t be. Jiang Cheng doesn’t protest this. He’s tired. The war is only beginning but Lotus Pier still needs to be rebuilt. He keeps reaching for his brother only to grasp at empty air and he’s so tired of stumbling in the dark.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng says simply and Wei Wuxian’s shoulders slope in relief at the clear end of the conversation. Jiang Cheng watches him go and wonders when Wei Wuxian became gladder to go from him than to come to him.

Within a year, Wei Wuxian insults the Jin to Jin Guangshan’s face, runs away with the Wen camp prisoners, and all but starts another war. Jiang Cheng never sees him in purple again. This is, he thinks, as the sects scream for his death and the Stygian Tiger Amulet burns at the heart of his brother and the lake water swells up over the dock boards, a disownment, in the end.

When Wei Wuxian plays his dizi, his hair drifts around him like he’s been set afloat in water, the hems of his robes gliding in the air, darkly graceful. Black as night drawing itself over an opaque lake. The lotus leaves stained. Swallowed up whole. Jiang Cheng waiting for the water to recede, wondering, where are you? Where are you?

He rebuilds Lotus Pier after it all. Which is to say, Jiang Cheng goes home, finally, and finds the ruins of the place he once loved. He starts sending out letters, more diplomatically worded than he’s managed in his entire life, asking for assistance from branch clans, the Meishan Yu.

What Jiang Cheng wants to do is clamber over Wei Wuxian at the kitchen door as A-jie makes soup, wants to present his mother with the treaty of alliance the sects made before Nightless City and for her to smooth back his hair, wants to watch his father become Gung Gung as he holds Jin Ling and the corners of his eyes go soft in a way they never did for Jiang Cheng.

This is a tragedy in two parts, he thinks, and they sound like the halves of his name. Which one was it again? Jiang Cheng. A-Cheng. Leader. Brother.

Jiang Cheng wants. He waits for the lotus to split apart the water, breaking up, breaking open. In the mornings, the lakebed is still and empty and Jiang Cheng does not, cannot have what he wants. He rolls his sleeves up, refills the clan’s coffers and then empties it for new disciple’s uniforms, distributes their meager food stores and then does it all again when they get new shipments in from the surrounding farms.

Jin Ling’s first words are, Mama? Mama? It sounds like a question and his face reddens in alarm when Jiang Cheng starts crying.

I don’t know, he tells him. Gone away, he says around the leaves splitting up his throat.

Where, Jin Ling asks, barely old enough to toddle after Jiang Cheng on fat baby legs. Old enough to break Jiang Cheng’s heart again and again.

Away from here.

Is she coming back?

No, he snaps, and then when his nephew bursts into tears out of surprise, Hey. Hey, I’m here. Still here.

Jiang Cheng was never supposed to do this alone. When he dreamed of the future, it was a picture in three parts, golden and setting. A brother and a brother and a sister. The sun coming up and up again and sharp lotus petals peeking up with it. He dreams of the same things now. These dreams which cannot come true and will not come true, which we call wishes. His wish, choking silently, is that he wasn’t alone.

But all Jiang Cheng has is an infant in the hands that murdered his brother and a grave which he is expected to make a home. He does his best, considering–

Well. Considering.

A-jie, in his arms, blood pooling beneath her the way seaweed makes silhouettes beneath the water. A-jie, smiling at him, at them, and he needs someone to tell him things are going to be okay. At the end of the story, there were his siblings instead of A-jie’s torn mouth and Wei Wuxian’s laugh which splits and splits.

In the morning, the lotus always come to life again. Jiang Cheng’s getting too old for happy endings. He isn’t three anymore, he’s twenty-two with his tongue in his hands, ready to draw blood. The air is viscous and thick and Wei Wuxian smiles from the wound in the center of him while Jiang Cheng draws him in red one last time.

A wound the colour of–

His siblings die smiling.

In this story, is Wei Wuxian the lotus or the water? Choking or choked? Dying and not dying and leaving and staying and leaving and leaving and Jiang Cheng was never supposed to do this alone.

The lotus, which comes back to life but in order to do so must leave first. Which breaks open. Just: things burgeoning, things breaking apart, the shoreline speckled with closed buds like fists in wait. This is a hand outstretched.

This is where you come back in the late nights and dawn-struck mornings. Where time suspends itself. The water, drawing itself up, the reason you hold your breath at all. Which goes on and on in the night, uninterrupted. Which suffocates and kills and is lived in.

Anytime anyone tries to put Wei Wuxian in a single, definable category, he delights in splintering apart the category between his fingers–the definitions too. Breaking through or just breaking? He loves to defy expectation, that Yiling Patriarch, head disciple, A-xian, who, once, was Jiang Cheng’s brother too.

Life is not a story and so, refuses absolutes. Which is to say: there will be no happy ending.

At the end of the day, this: Wei Wuxian is better than anyone at destroying himself.

Also: Jiang Cheng is always watching. Waiting for the lotus to die. For them to come back. Watching, watching. He has never known how to stop a death than to ask, where are you?

So again. Where are you? This is a curse, but only in so far as it is a plea.

“You spend all your time here?” He insists in the Jingshi, aware how much he, Jiang Cheng, jarrs against the white walls, white ceiling, light wooden boarding. “What do you even do?”

“I keep myself busy,” Wei Wuxian defends and hops over to his working desk before shoving a talisman in Jiang Cheng’s face. “See! The wards here are so bad, Jiang Cheng. So bad, you would think they’d get better in thirteen years, but no,” he shakes his head grimly.

“I’m sure the Lan appreciate it.”

“Ah, well, they will! Once I’m done.” Wei Wuxian scratches at his nose. “I figure, you can’t really get mad if someone desecrates your sacred barriers by making them better, right?”

Jiang Cheng snorts. That’s the kind of attitude Wei Wuxian thrived on in Lotus Pier, which thrived on him in return. He can’t quite see Cloud Recesses appreciating it as much, but then, it’s not like he’s been around here much in the past two decades either.

“And really, it’s a net positive if everyone benefits from new wards.” Wei Wuxian says, like if he just keeps talking about barriers and wards and new cultivation techniques they can avoid saying anything personal about themselves at all. “Lan Zhan will approve anyway. Maybe he could convince Lan Qiren?”

“I’m sure the Lan will bend back over themselves to make their Chief Cultivator happy,” Jiang Cheng says.

“They should! But you know, Lan Zhan really deserves it.” And here they are at Wei Wuxian’s favourite topic of conversation. “He’s too good, really, Jiang Cheng. Ah, I’m pretty sure I break at least five rules every time I so much as take a step outside but he doesn’t even mind!”

“You’re a walking violation, of course,” Jiang Cheng says. It escapes him before he can think better of it.

But Wei Wuxian just grins. “I’m Lan Zhan’s walking violation now. I think he likes it. Shameful!” he crows, delighted at the thought. “He makes too many exceptions for me.”

“See which rules need to be broken,” Jiang Cheng says. Nods. “Which can be put away. That’s you.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Oh,” he says and then grins like he’s only just realized ‘troublemaker’s’ a compliment from Jiang Cheng.

He scowls. Of course it is. That’s how he meant it in the first place.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what,” Wei Wuxian says, still doing it. “Smile?”

Stand there. Be there. Let the dawn light catch the spread of your hair like a slow-seeping violet. Jiang Cheng gestures at him wordlessly.

Wei Wuxian keeps grinning anyway. “Jiang Cheng, you know I can’t help it. Oh, but I must be the greatest nuisance Great Sect Leader Jiang ever dealt with.”

“Deals with,” Jiang Cheng corrects. Wei Wuxian, for once, gets it. He stops talking, a quiet, trembling hope in the corner of his mouth.

What does it take, he thinks, to say words that get where you want them, the shredded flesh of a heart bearing itself up on a palm. Oh, just a brother and a still water lake. Thirteen years and names enough to bury.

“Old man Sim came back,” says Jiang Cheng. “Well. He died a few years ago, but his daughter took over the business.”

“That’s good,” Wei Wuxian starts, blinking, wondering how this punch line ends with him.

Jiang Cheng scowls. “Her Scorch Seeds are even better than his. She uses more spices.”

His brother’s eyes light up with recognition. “I’ll have to come back to Lotus Pier sometime. Try them out, if there’s a nighthunt in the area.”

Fuck it. Jiang Cheng’s spent too many years crying over his parent’s grave, tracing A-jie and Wei Wuxian’s steps through the halls of a new Lotus Pier to deal with all this again.

“You should come,” he says. “If there isn’t. If there is. I don’t care. But don’t you dare stay at an inn.” He clears his throat, Wei Wuxian’s eyes shining. “If I so much as hear you were in Yunmeng and you don’t come to see Jin Ling, I’ll break your legs.”

Never mind Jin Ling isn’t at Lotus Pier so much these days, that there’s no real reason for Wei Wuxian to disrupt his life but Jiang Cheng.

“I’ll come for the Scorch Seeds,” Wei Wuxian agrees, weakly.

Jiang Cheng nods and before he can think twice about it, throws him his clarity bell. Wei Wuxian catches it at his chest before blinking fast at the little charm, the thick purple tassel Jiang Cheng tied to it.

“This is yours,” he says.

“I– Jiang Cheng, you can’t,” Wei Wuxian sputters, nearly dropping it. “You don’t want to give this to me.”

A peal of metal rings through the air. Despite Wei Wuxian’s words, his fingers are white around the bell. Only Jiang disciples get the bell. To have one is to be considered good as Jiang. He’d forced one on Jin Ling for his birthday years ago.

“Don’t tell me what I want to do,” he snaps. And then, just to get it through his brother’s thick head, “if you want to get rid of it so bad, give it back to me later.”

Jiang Cheng thinks, at some point he forgot to tell his brother he loves him without wounding them. But then, maybe Wei Wuxian forgot how to listen, too.

He flits away on Sandu before Lan Wangji can get there and doesn’t look back this time. He feels hopeful eyes following him around the bend of the hills as he does, a muted chime ringing between his ears.

Life is not a story. This has been said. So, there are no happy endings. But for this to be said, it must also be mentioned that there are no tragedies either. No absolutes.

The story, instead, goes a little like this: Water in the lotus beds. Lotus beds in the water. Maybe the lotus die every night or maybe this is more a question of why Jiang Cheng thought they went anywhere in the first place.

There is a little boy in the dark, wondering where his parents went, and Jiang Cheng holding his hand. Watching him. Watching. When Jiang Cheng wakes up, he’s there. Always. The water recedes from Wei Wuxian’s dead-boy face.

A two-part tragedy, Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian comes home to Lotus Pier, for a time, and hasn’t he learned yet that this story has more than two parts? Some of the best things come in threes. At first, there was him, and A-jie, and Wei Wuxian. And though it’s true this isn’t a story. The night slips away from the sea, the lotus breaching, blooming like fists uncurling. Palms up. Palms up. Jiang Cheng, you will never be given anything if you aren’t poised to receive it.

A story’s genre is decided by its third act.

See, A-jie says. See, A-Cheng? Still here.

They came back, he tells her.

The first thing Wei Wuxian does when he comes to Lotus Pier is gape at the lotus blossoms.

(He didn’t tell Jiang Cheng he’s coming. Next time, Jiang Cheng’s going to yell at him to write ahead so he can actually send a boat and receive him properly at the official’s pier.)

“Jiang Cheng,” he gapes and leans so far over Jiang Cheng thinks he’s going to fall in too. “You put them back! You have no idea how much I missed them.”

He’s going to say something about how, if he missed them so much, why he didn’t come back sooner. Jiang Cheng doesn’t.

He says, “I planted half of them myself. We couldn’t have all these lotus on our robes and swords if they weren’t anywhere else.” Parts of him swell with pride. “All that water and nothing in it. Looks better,” he sniffs.

“Lucky, with the water. I tried in the Burial Mounds, but there wasn’t enough,” Wei Wuxian tilts his head. “This place is a thousand times better than I ever could have made it, Jiang Cheng. Everywhere I look, a good amount of lotus, a good amount of water.”

“It needed to be done,” Jiang Cheng says, uncomfortable. “And don’t say it’s perfect. I made the carpenters put in the wrong amount of space between some of the boards on the outer docks. Watch your feet around them.”

“How can anything be wrong when the lotus are so beautiful?” Wei Wuxian leans toward him, just shy of knocking their shoulders together.

He wants to reach out. He wants to pull back.

Jiang Cheng goes, “No, really. If you don’t watch your step, you’ll put a foot through. And a single wet leg isn’t a good look on anyone.” He says, “And if the wind pushes the water, the lotus roots pull up.”

“So?"

“What do you mean, ‘so,’” Jiang Cheng crosses his arms. “It’s bad during storms. Water comes up the boards. And if we plant the lotus too far into the water, they’re pulled away.”

“You’ve been struggling,” Wei Wuxian says, joking. Not joking at all.

“You were dead a few months ago,” he snorts. “Like I need concern from you. Talk to me when your fatality rate is the same as mine.”

“You’ll still want to talk to me by then?” Wei Wuxian grins. “No take-backs, Jiang Cheng, you’re stuck with me in the next life.”

“I’m going to break your legs. And then, then I’ll throw you in the lake.”

Wei Wuxian coughs into his arm like it does anything to hide the sharp edge of his smile peeking out.

“I just mean,” his brother goes, “the water takes the lotus. But if there are too many lotus, they choke out the lake.”

Jiang Cheng blinks. “Well,” he says. “It’s a good thing there’s a whole lake, then.”

“Lots of room for both,” Wei Wuxian agrees. “Ah, everything’s so nice here. Except your scowling face Jiang Cheng. You make all this and still scowl like that? You know what I want to see in Lotus Pier? A-Cheng making any other expression for once in his life.”

He grimaces harder at that, which makes Wei Wuxian grin.

“How can I when you give me so much reason to frown,” Jiang Cheng tells him. “Lan Wangji moderating sect meetings and sighing every minute like we don’t all know you were being disgusting right outside like teenagers.”

“I’ll make sure to do it where you can see next time, then.” The face he makes at that is wholely appropriate, he thinks.

“Shut up. Shut up, gross.” He wrinkles his nose. “Why are you like this? I bet your new body doesn’t have your old one’s tolerance. Let’s go shovel so much spicy food down your throat your tongue swells up.”

“Then I’ll figure out how to talk and eat at the same time. Just for you, Jiang Cheng.”

There’s something splitting through Jiang Cheng, light streaming through the water, refracting into a million strains. The edge of light meeting the lakebed. Between the bloody sun, a violet sunset.

He thinks, he thinks, he might do something to Wei Wuxian one of these days. To himself. This wound we call a bearing of self, an offering. Maybe not tomorrow or the day after it. One of these days, a smile.

“So,” the water says, the lotus risen up, the lotus to the water. “Where have you been?”

[A03]

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs fic #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #mo dao zu shi fanfic #mdzs fanfiction #the untamed #mxtx #mxtx fanfic #untamed fic #look i know i said id never do another but actually #i wrote that last thing two weeks ago!#so. herego #My fic #mypost #pls tell me if i got any customs or other things wrong

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kiriel123 · 1 year

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MDZS/The Untamed

A storm without a warning by Spodumene

Modern AU wwx and lwj have always been best friends and number one in each other’s lives…until lwj gets a new boyfriend. Wwx is completely, totally, absolutely fine and Jiang Cheng is very done with all the drama

Become Tomorrow by ShanaStoryteller

Alternate canon wwx sneaks into Cloud Recesses to deliver a love letter from his Master Baoshan Sanren to her trapped-in-a-cave soulmate Lan Yi, when he gets caught by a beautiful boy. What else is there to do but lie and pretend to be Jiang? Extremely entertaining

Inside and Out by JangJaeYul

Modern AU wwx likes to dance with hot people at the club on Fridays and his latest target is maybe the hottest boy he’s ever seen. And now that wwx is in reach he’s not getting away

watch me fall by ilip13

Modern Cultivation AU wwx has become a VR sex performer as punishment for his crimes. Why settle for locking him up when the Jin could also make money off him? Good thing he’s got a reliable partner in the mysterious hgj. Super cool world building!

sense memory by luckymarrow

Alternate canon A/B/O wwx died an omega but came back to life as an alpha. This does not make alpha lwj want him any less (the opposite in fact). The feral energy in this was off the charts, double the biting, double the fun

all the problems we could solve by Stratisphyre

Modern AU lwj is a thief with a heart of gold, in love with sweet, innocent wwx. But when lwj gets kidnapped after a heist gone wrong, the Yiling Laozu comes out to play

Where You Say My Name by trippednfell

Modern Cultivation AU lwj is just trying to work in peace which is made difficult by his chaotic partner wwx. But when wwx gets hurt protecting lwj, lwj takes on the responsibility to care for him, and finds his world opened up

Allopatry by chinxe

Modern AU where they’re cats Lan Qiren runs a tearoom which also houses his two perfect cats, explicitly NOT a cat café. When Lotus Pier Shelter opens next door mischievous sphynx cat Xianxian sneaks in and befriends Wangji. Adorable!!

a burden of figs by spookykingdomstarlight

Alternate canon wwx and lwj are courting when wwx finds out lwj’s status and bows out of the courtship. Unfortunately, he didn’t tell his mama about the breakup so two years later when lwj brings him home after a night hunt gone wrong, it’s fake dating speedrun time

stop the world (for a moment) by azurewaxwing

Modern AU lwj is a figure skating sports commenter and is required by the ISU to have a co-host, in the form of former figure skater wwx. Wwx certainly spices up lwj’s commentary and life! Features Jingyi as the best eavesdropper gossiper

#mdzs #the untamed #fic rec

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mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess · 1 year

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Keep it alive

Part 2 to Keep it alight

Warnings: suicide and aftermath thereof

The day Jiang Cheng died had been suffocatingly warm. Sunlight barely breached the thick smoke of resentment that sat atop the Burial Mounds like a stubborn cloud - but the heat could seep through without issue, stifling and unforgiving. It made the stench of corpses, wrath and ancient hatred rise even higher in the air than usual, a putrid smell that made the place even more unbearable than usual.

Wei Wuxian had been too busy with his new inventions to pay much attention to it, fiddling with talisman paper and sketches of spells and arrays. He had already come up with ways to control the corpses and the resentful energy to some degree, and until he could complete that, he had to come up with a solution to keep them at bay.

Hence, the talisman and spellwork.

Jiang Cheng sat a little a-ways, looking as resigned and indifferent as the first day they had been thrown in the Burial Mounds, staring at nothing in particular. He didn't have any feelings in particular about what Wei Wuxian was doing, although he found it odd, sometimes sinister, but mostly, pointless.

There was no way he could achieve all that he promised Jiang Cheng he would - take them out of there, kill Wen Chao, go back to Lotus Pier - and even if he did, it made no sense to even do all that. Jiang Cheng wouldn't ever resort to the kind of... techniques Wei Wuxian was starting to use, and his life at Lotus Pier would be just one of shame and uselessness.

Not to mention, his efforts, his inventions... they all felt... superfluous. Like an insect that just wouldn't die no matter how much you stomped on it.

And Jiang Cheng just really wanted to die.

"Aren't you tired?" He asked, at some point, growing somewhat frustrated with the noises and the experiments, despite his apathy.

"No." Wei Wuxian responds absently, drawing on talisman paper. "I can't be tired. I have to do this, so we get out of here already."

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah... get out, kill Wen Chao, go home... when will you stop?"

A sigh. "When we leave this place, Jiang Cheng. We already had this conversation. Let me work."

"You've been working for weeks. No results."

"Some results."

"Not enough."

Wei Wuxian turned his head to send him a warning look. "Jiang Cheng."

"I'm tired of all this."

"You're not the one doing it."

Jiang Cheng sighed quietly. The conversation always went the same way. There was nothing dissuading Wei Wuxian from his ridiculous endeavours, Jiang Cheng should have known not to try again.

"I won't do this kind of cultivation with you."

"I know, you told me before. But it's fine, it's enough if I do it."

"I don't want you to protect me."

That had Wei Wuxian pause. "What?"

"You heard me. I don't want you to protect me. I never did. You should have let me be killed by the Wens."

Wei Wuxian had to take in a deep breath. Emotions ran haywire in the Burial Mounds, the resentful energy messing with people's minds, aggravating feelings. He had to take that into account for both himself and Jiang Cheng. He had to make sure his emotions were his own, not the Burial Mounds'.

"You're talking nonsense again. Go to sleep, you're tired and irrational."

"Why did you have to save me?"

"Because. Now go to sleep. Or I will knock you out again."

"You should have let me die."

Wei Wuxian decided not to bother. They had that argument over and over, and it never led anywhere. It was better for him to put his energy into his work rather than go back and forth with Jiang Cheng. He'd have to accept the actual reality of their situation - that they weren't dead and that they could escape in a short while - and stop sinking into that bottomless pit that he seemed so convinced had become his life now.

"I would have been with my parents now, instead of this horrible place. This is worse than torture, than hell, than-"

"I know it's horrible, I know it's every fucking shade of fucked up, but I'm trying to fix it, okay?! I don't expect appreciation but at least don't make me feel worse than I already am!"

"Why do you always have to fix everything?! Why can't you just fucking let fate run its course for once?!"

"Because I'm not like you!"

He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, as soon as he saw the way Jiang Cheng somehow looked even more broken than before as he sat in his corner of the cave again, quiet and unmoving.

Wei Wuxian cursed lowly under his breath before speaking again."Jiang Cheng... why do you always pick a fight? What's the point? You know I won't just let you die or die myself here if I can do something about it."

"Can you? If you could, we would be already out. We wouldn't even be here at all!"

That stung a bit more than Wei Wuxian let on.

"I'm trying to fix this. I'm almost there. Just wait a little longer and-"

Defeated, Jiang Cheng looked up at Wei Wuxian with a tired, sorrowful look. "When will you understand there's nothing for me on the outside? I don't want to live like a commoner or do whatever demonic tricks you're trying to invent. So what do I have left to do? Nothing. I can't even fulfill the duty I have as my father's son."

"Uncle Jiang wouldn't-"

Jiang Cheng's expression darkened as he looked away. "Don't talk as if you know him better than I do."

Wei Wuxian ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and confused and angry. "What do you want from me, Jiang Cheng? You don't want me to protect you, you don't want to leave, what should I do?"

"Just let me die."

"No."

"Kill me yourself then."

"No!"

"Then just... go away. Go work, or whatever you do. I don't want to see you or hear you. Get lost."

Wei Wuxian huffed, annoyed beyond measure and almost stomped towards his little makeshift table. The last thing he wanted to do was work, his mind clouded with negative feelings and thoughts he wasn't sure were his own.

"I'm going to get us some food."

"Whatever."

---

He returned with... something to eat. He had cooked it so Jiang Cheng wouldn't know what it was, and had managed to calm down in the meantime. He could have only hoped Jiang Cheng did too.

When Wei Wuxian stepped inside the cave, it was eerily quiet. Dread sank into his bones immediately as he lit up a talisman and the greenish flame revealed the haphazard state of the place, even more so than before, and-

"Jiang Cheng!"

He laid down, motionless, lips already purple and skin translucent, hollow eyes staring ahead, as his hairpin stuck out from the side of his neck, blood having already started to dry around it.

Wei Wuxian screamed so loud it felt like the whole mountain shook with it, like the whole world shook with it. He screamed and screamed, tears streaming down his face as he cradled Jiang Cheng's body, his own shaking with so much force that the clarity bell around his sash jingled with it.

He had screamed and cried for hours like that, begged Jiang Cheng to come back, to forgive him, to anything - but of course nothing happened. The body in his arms only grew colder and stiffer and the realization made Wei Wuxian wail so painfully that the resentful energy that had begun swarming the cave drew back.

His eyes fell onto the hairpin obsessively. It was the only thing Jiang Cheng could have used, there was nothing else around - and Wei Wuxian had been so careless... why didn't he take it away? Why didn't he stay? Why did he agree to the surgery? Why did he risk it all like that and lost so miserably?

He had finished carving Chenqing that morning. She was beautiful, powerful. Wei Wuxian had never used her before - just other spare flutes he made out of anything he could find, for practice - but he felt like there was nothing to lose now.

He placed the flute to his lips and began playing it quietly. The wisps of resentment responded to it, gently wrapping around Jiang Cheng's body, dissolving the hairpin in his neck, covering him like a transparent veil. Wei Wuxian kept playing. Jiang Cheng's right arm twitched, then his left. Then his neck craned just a bit, like he was trying to find the source of the melody, though his eyes remained empty.

Wei Wuxian found himself crying again. Was he really turning Jiang Cheng into a fierce corpse? Was he really desecrating his body like that, disrespecting his final wish... for what? Why?

The corpse stood up on his legs now, his gaze empty as it awaited orders. Wei Wuxian ended the melody gradually, and the resentment subdued.

He was alone with Jiang Cheng's corpse now - a corpse like the thousands outside. An empty shell, a carcass.

Wei Wuxian played his flute again.

And again.

And his mind began working on a new invention.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #writing attempts #jc is so hard to write #im trying to keep him as close to canon as possible #at least how i see canon #i hope i dont get discourse for this

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 2 years

Text

After Each Midnight Begins A New Day

Extra #12 - Thank You, and I'm Sorry

This extra immediately follows the events of the main fic and is set sometime during 3zun's stay in Jinlintai. Nie Mingjue, wanting to apologize to/make up with Nie Huaisang, travels from Lanling to Qinghe to see his brother, and Jiang Cheng, having heard that his husband was called urgently to Cloud Recesses, has travelled to Qinghe to support Nie Huaisang through the aftermath of his somewhat-disastrous visit.

[Masterpost] [AO3]

-/-

Jiang Cheng knows the Unclean Realm like the back of his hand - as well as he’s ever known Lotus Pier. The servants and disciples still show him respect and deference when he arrives, of course, but he’s no longer treated like an outsider, like a guest. His marriage to his childhood sweetheart had solidified that nicely, and now that he leads Yunmeng Jiang and his husband leads Qinghe Nie, they’re treated like the Sect Leader in each other’s homes as much as their own.

Which is why when one of his Nie intelligence cultivators - personally trained by Nie Huaisang himself early on in his time as Sect Leader - comes to him to tell him that Nie-Zongzhu was summoned unexpectedly to Gusu, Jiang Cheng wraps up what needs doing in Lotus Pier and flies to Qinghe in an evening. If it was something requiring his presence in Gusu then someone would have told him so he doesn’t go running after his husband, but that doesn’t mean that Nie Huaisang won’t need him when he returns home. Jiang Cheng works out of Qinghe frequently enough that no one really blinks twice at his assertion that he’ll be there through the end of the month, and within two days the reports and letters that require his special attention begin arriving, redirected from Lotus Pier by his second-in-command.

So he sets up camp in Nie Huaisang’s quarters. He runs the senior disciples through their saber drills when he needs the fresh air, and he spends his free hours admiring his husband’s paintings or his aviary in his private gardens, and he waits for the man himself to return with news from Cloud Recesses.

“We received word from the outer patrol that Nie-Zongzhu will be arriving this evening,” his husband’s Second informs him when they bring him the latest batch of news from Lotus Pier. “Would you prefer to meet him or shall I?”

Jiang Cheng shrugs and pulls the stack of letters closer. “I’ll meet him at the gates at dusk.”

With a quiet, “Yes, Jiang-Zongzhu,” Tang Ming bows and leaves him to his work. The noise in the hallways and corridors begins to pick up as the dinner hour nears, and when dusk begins to settle in the corners of the rooms and the paper over the window fades to cream, lit more from the inside than the out, Jiang Cheng stands and shakes out his robes to stride through the fortress to the gates.

He arrives just in time for the portcullis to rise, and as always something deep in his chest settles at the sight of his husband even before he dismounts his horse and their eyes lock across the space between them. He’s treated almost immediately to a wide, surprised grin and he can’t quite keep his own smirk off his face as his husband - elegant, dignified, gentlemanly Nie Huaisang - hurries across the courtyard like an excited young boy to link their arms together and cuddle up against his side.

“A-Cheng!” he greets despite their audience of disciples and cultivators. Jiang Cheng’s cheeks immediately grow warm and he turns without a word to usher Nie Huaisang towards the inner clan residences. Nie Huaisang laughs at him for his inability to flirt in public but the sound is like music in his ear so Jiang Cheng allows it, simply ushering his husband inside and into a storeroom for ink and paper to gather the man up into his arms.

Nie Huaisang tucks himself into the contours of him with ease and Jiang Cheng sighs into his hair, lips pressed to the top of his head in between two of his braids. “I’ve missed you,” he says softly, because it’s true and he never lies to his husband. Is incapable of lying to him, actually. Nie Huaisang is easily one of the craftiest and most perceptive men in the cultivation world, Jiang Cheng could no sooner lie to him than a military force could storm the Unclean Realm.

“Is that why you decided to show up weeks early for your next visit?” Nie Huaisang teases and skates his hands up and down his arms a few times before snuggling in again. “Is that why we’re hugging in a storage room instead of going to our quarters to eat dinner together?”

While once such teasing would have riled Jiang Cheng up and fanned the ever-present flames of his flustered irritation, now all he can do is shrug a bit helplessly and duck down to kiss Nie Huaisang’s cheek. “Yes. Are you complaining?”

“No.” Nie Huaisang sighs and settles more firmly against him, so Jiang Cheng reaches a hand up to cup the back of his head, to hold him close to his chest and kiss his temple slowly until he feels his husband’s shoulders begin to unclench.

“Everything alright in Gusu?” he asks eventually. Nie Huaisang shrugs noncommittally and withdraws with a reluctant sigh. Jiang Cheng lets his husband take his hand to pull him from the storeroom and towards their quarters again, the pair of them tangling their fingers together at the same moment as they wander at their own pace down the corridor.

“It will be. Da-ge and I got into an argument, it’s not a big deal. We’ll make up soon enough.”

Jiang Cheng, who’s been privy to quite a few dust-ups between the Nie brothers, knows very well that it’s only a matter of time before a teary-eyed Nie Mingjue shows up at their gate to apologize and dote on his little brother in his own ways. He can never stay angry for long, at least not at Nie Huaisang, whom he practically raised.

“What was the argument about?” he asks instead of speaking his thoughts aloud.

“Mmm something of a miscommunication I suppose,” Nie Huaisang sighs and flicks his fan open in his free hand, already pouting prettily. “Must we talk about this now? I’ve been traveling for a day and a half, and I’d very much like to be treated to a bath and a da-ge sized portion of whatever the cooks have made tonight.”

Jiang Cheng has been playing his husband’s games for a very long time, and so he allows the subject change for now despite how much it still chafes at him to play this back-and-forth. Things would be so much faster and easier if everyone would just say what they mean, but Nie Huaisang has never been the type, even since they were children playing together and a romantic relationship wasn’t yet the smallest blip in their minds.

“You can have whatever you want, it’s your house,” Jiang Cheng reminds him somewhat gruffly. Nie Huaisang knows him well enough not to take it personally by now, and so his husband just grins up at him and tugs him along a little faster.

“A-Cheng, you spoil me! First a surprise visit and now anything I want? You should come see me more often.”

Jiang Cheng sighs but ignores replying in favor of ushering his husband into their quarters and behind the screen to get out of his traveling clothes. One of the perks of being the Sect Leader’s husband will always be access to his private soaking bath - something Jiang Cheng had never seen anything like in his entire life prior to their official courtship - and so he finds it no hardship at all to join him once he’s ready to step down into the recessed pool fed by a hot spring a little further up the mountain that guards the Unclean Realm’s rear flank.

“Da-ge never really used this thing, you know,” Nie Huaisang tells him once they’re settled in together, Nie Huaisang’s back to his chest so Jiang Cheng can stroke his hair for him, watch the ends of it swirl gently with the edies of the spring. “He always groused that he didn’t have the time, or the inclination to sit and soak like this. I think san-ge and er-ge were able to talk him into it a few times, but he never loved it like I do.”

Jiang Cheng wrinkles his nose a little at the idea of what those three might have gotten up to in what he privately thinks of as his and Huaisang’s bath, but of course that would have been a long time ago, and the water is, of course, not even remotely the same water as they would have used. It’s rare that Nie Huaisang is in a mood to share things like this, and Jiang Cheng can’t help but feel that it’s related to something that happened in Gusu, so he just keeps his mouth shut and continues stroking his husband’s hair as if trying to coax a particularly skittish cat to trust him.

“He’s so different,” Nie Huaisang muses, mumbling almost too quietly to be heard over the faint burbling of the water. “He’s…he’s better…than when he was here. He’s happier in Gusu. He could never really be happy here. Too many memories, I think. Father used to chase us up and down the corridors. I was still young enough at first to think it was a game, and when Da-ge would tell me to hide my giggling gave me away every time. I was always whisked somewhere else by a servant or a disciple when Father caught us. Usually they’d take me to the gardens, but sometimes the kitchen for a snack.”

Jiang Cheng presses a soft kiss to his husband’s neck as he draws the curtain of his hair aside with one hand, silently reminding him that he’s here. That this is not the past.

“Da-ge still tried to use the same trick with me even when I was old enough to understand Father was on one of his rampages. I think Da-ge didn’t want to accept it, that I was growing up and I knew enough by then to be afraid. He never wanted me to worry, or be upset. He’d always do his best to take care of me.”

There are days, sometimes, even weeks, when Nie Huaisang’s eyes turn haunted, and his mind is so far away Jiang Cheng worries that he’ll never find his way back. Nie Huaisang never tells him where his mind goes when he gets so contemplative, but at the same time it’s not like Jiang Cheng ever presses him too hard. After all, he’d grown up watching his brother do the same. Sometimes, he figures, childhoods and memories of the past can creep back in like ghosts to haunt them - it’s not as if either of them had a particularly charmed life when they were young, no matter what sort of images they project now.

Jiang Cheng can hear that same faraway quality to his husband’s voice now without even needing to see the glazed look in his eyes.

“I couldn’t take care of him. There was a time once when he needed me, and I couldn’t protect him. And someone we had trusted hurt him down to his core - literally. If I were to hurt that person in return, would that be so wrong?”

“Revenge is usually justified when you bother to worry about it,” Jiang Cheng murmurs against Nie Huaisang’s heat-flushed skin. “If the pain was equivalent, if it was the proper price to pay, it’s not so wrong.”

“Mm. Maybe. It’s in the past now, either way. It hardly matters anymore. But Da-ge…he’s so straightforward about everything. I went behind his back to do it, and learning about it now has been…upsetting. For all three of them, really. I think that’s why he’s upset, more than at me directly. I accidentally hurt his husbands trying to make things right.”

Jiang Cheng tightens his arms around his husband’s chest and presses a palm over his rabitting heart. “If anyone hurt you, I wouldn’t sit idly by and allow it,” he vows. “You can’t expect him to do nothing if the people he loves have been hurt.”

“True,” Nie Huaisang sighs. “I really messed up this time, I think. At least in his eyes. I can’t honestly say I feel sorry for it, even though I probably should.”

Jiang Cheng snorts softly at that and presses one more definitive kiss before he sits up straight and squeezes Nie Huaisang tightly around the middle.

“I’m pretty sure you could do no wrong in his eyes, at least once his temper’s cooled off. You have this fascinating way of winding angry men around your fingers and never letting us stay angry at you for long.”

“Don’t compare yourself to my brother like that,” Nie Huaisang laughs softly, still with that melancholy edge. “I have you both wrapped around my fingers in entirely different ways, and you’re not the only jewelry I wear. I have many people right where I want them, but you always know you’re special.”

“Mhm. Nie Mingjue will come around,” Jiang Cheng soothes, not one to be too distracted from the topic at hand (he’s had plenty of opportunities to grow at least somewhat immune to his husband’s tactics). “Give him some time to cool off, let the ones who married him do all the heavy lifting of calming him down again. He always comes back to apologize, it’s just a matter of time.”

“You’re right, of course, zhugong,” Nie Huaisang teases and Jiang Cheng smiles a little at both the title and the return of levity to his husband’s voice. “Now will you tell this humble husband why you’ve graced Bujing Shi with your scowling face weeks in advance?”

Jiang Cheng splashes him for the teasing until Nie Huaisang is laughing in his arms and crying out for mercy. He only deigns to answer him once he’s turned to give him a few consolation kisses and settled in his arms again with a happy little sigh.

“A little bird told me you’d been summoned quickly and unexpectedly to Gusu, I was worried. I thought you might appreciate a chance to talk through your thoughts with a captive audience rather than to your plants. I’ve arranged to stay until and through my planned visit, you have me at your disposal for an entire month.”

Nie Huaisang’s genuine happiness at his pronouncement and the kisses he peppers his face with once he turns around once again are as good a reason as any to abandon such heavy topics, so Jiang Cheng settles in to enjoy his husband’s company for the night, the matter of what happened in Gusu settled to his satisfaction.

—

Jiang Cheng has been in the Unclean Realm for a few weeks when a letter arrives from Lanling. It’s brought to his desk in Nie Huaisang’s office as it’s been written on his sister’s favorite stationery, but when he opens it to glance at the contents he recognizes his brother-in-law’s hand immediately. He skims it quickly to make sure it’s not an emergency, and when it proves itself to be a simple request to come visit he sets it on Nie Huaisang’s painting table - where he’s much more likely to see it than on his desk - and returns to his own work without much more thought about it.

When Nie Huaisang reads it later, though, Jiang Cheng can’t help but notice the pinching at the corners of his mouth or the worried little frown between his brows. Normally requests to visit from Nie Mingjue are a welcome thing, even if the Nie brothers have recently had an argument that requires apologies to be given, so Nie Huaisang’s reaction is negative enough to set off a little alarm bell in his head.

What if this time their argument is something that drives a true wedge between them? They’ve been inseparable since they were all children - hell, Nie Huaisang had been distraught when he couldn’t be near his brother during their summer studying in the Cloud Recesses - but they’re growing older now. Growing apart. Nie Mingjue still has a hand in leading the Nie from a distance, but the role is mostly to make him feel better about having stepped down early to live in Gusu for the sake of his health. That particular fight had lasted for months, Nie Mingjue’s pride and bone-deep sense of duty pitted against Nie Huaisang’s stubborn patience which can outlast the stars and the seas - it hadn’t been pretty.

But even then, Nie Huaisang hadn’t ever turned away the opportunity to see or speak with his brother.

“What’s wrong?” Jiang Cheng asks when Nie Huaisang has finished reading the letter for a fourth time. “You don’t want him to come?”

“I don’t know if it’s been long enough for his temper to have cooled off and he wants to make up, or if he wants to come and yell at me some more,” Nie Huaisang pouts, and for anyone else the pout would’ve been good enough to hide the fact that he’s genuinely afraid. But Jiang Cheng can see the fear sitting deep in his husband’s eyes, and the tension making his shoulders rigid under the stiff layers of silk that make him look broader than he really is. He stands up from his work to cross the room and settle in on his knees behind his husband to begin combing his fingers through the loose section of his hair, careful not to dislodge his guan or any of his intricate braids or ornaments.

“Can you tell me what happened in some more detail?” he coaxes quietly after a few long moments. He hadn’t asked for the details when they’d talked about it that first night, and he still hasn’t asked in the weeks since, but the curiosity has been simmering low in his chest the entire time. He can’t imagine that Nie Huaisang hurting someone - anyone - could be such a problem with Nie Mingjue that he would be furious with the brother he adores for so long, but Nie Huaisang is clearly convinced that that’s precisely what’s happened.

“Not without telling you a whole bunch of stuff that would upset you, too,” Nie Huaisang mutters and sets his favorite brush down a little too hard with a huff.

“You said before that you hurt Lan Xichen and Meng Yao…what did you do?”

Nie Huaisang takes a few deep breaths in and holds them, clearly trying to calm himself down, so Jiang Cheng leans forward to wrap his arms around Nie Huaisang’s waist and prop his chin on his shoulder.

“Whatever you did, I’ll still love you just as much as I do now,” he whispers, and even after all these years he flushes ever so slightly with embarrassment to say such things out loud. “Hurts can always heal, even if it’s not perfect after it’s all said and done. Just tell me what happened?”

Nie Huaisang breathes deeply again and brushes ink-stained fingers against the backs of Jiang Cheng’s hands, his touch light and cool as a spring breeze. Jiang Cheng closes his eyes and leans more firmly against the other, his mind wandering lazily through all the years of their relationship. They’ve been married for a while now, but even before that Jiang Cheng had vowed his heart to Nie Huaisang. For him, there hasn’t been anyone else he would even think of courting, and he knows that Nie Huaisang is well aware of his adoration. He can only hope his husband finds comfort in knowing that nothing in the world could break it.

Their minds must be following similar paths, because Jiang Cheng can hear a soft smile in Nie Huaisang’s voice when he says, “You’ve always been so devoted, A-Cheng. I’ve loved that about you for a very, very long time, you know. Longer than you’d ever guess. If anyone ever hurt you, I’d never be able to rest until I’d destroyed them.”

“I know,” Jiang Cheng murmurs, because he does. Not everyone sees it, in fact he’s fairly sure that virtually nobody sees it except him, but Nie Huaisang is ruthless, like all Nies are. It’s less obvious than it is in Nie Mingjue with his many loud declarations over the years of what’s right and what’s wrong, but Nie Huaisang’s moral compass is just as harsh. He’s just as likely as his brother to focus on what he thinks is right at the expense of anything else, and to only think to deal with the consequences of his actions after the fact. Jiang Cheng has thought for years that the cultivation world is lucky that Nie Huaisang’s interests lie in the arts and not in warfare, or else they’d be living in a very different world than they do now.

“I’d do the same thing for da-ge. I’d hurt anyone who hurt him. I’d ruin them, everything they loved.”

“I know that too.”

Nie Huaisang doesn’t continue, but Jiang Cheng stays where he is and waits him out. Being with Nie Huaisang for as long as he has has done wonders for his patience, though it still only really applies to his husband. No one else (except for, of course, Jiang Yanli) deserves his precious reserves of patience, so easily depleted.

“Er-ge hasn’t been feeling well, and Wei-xiong thought I might be able to help,” Nie Huaisang eventually reveals. Jiang Cheng rewards him with a kiss to the side of his neck. “And he was right, I could, but I…well I wasn’t very nice about it, and because of what I did to try to help, er-ge stabbed san-ge. Straight through. I watched Shuoyue come out of Meng Yao’s back.”

Jiang Cheng freezes as he tries to process that, that something so violent could happen between his brothers-in-law, who love each other to the point of it being downright disgusting. Lan Xichen stabbed somebody? Anybody?? Their lives have been so peaceful for so long that sometimes Jiang Cheng forgets, in the quiet course of his daily life, that his family are all remarkably powerful and formidable in battle. But Lan Xichen is, without a doubt, one of the most peaceful men in the cultivation world - what could have possibly driven him to violence?

“You were behind Meng Yao when Lan Xichen stabbed him,” Jiang Cheng notes when he’s got his metaphorical feet back under him. Nie Huaisang plays this game frequently, dropping little hints and clues about what he means without actually saying it outright, and though Jiang Cheng finds it maddening he’s also resigned himself to the reality that that’s just what it’s like to be married to one of the cleverest and most non-confrontational men in the world. “Something must have happened to Lan Xichen to make him unbalanced enough to draw Shuoyue too quickly for anyone to stop him, because I can’t imagine anyone was happy to see him stab Meng Yao. You included.”

“No, I didn’t want him to,” Nie Huaisang agrees, his voice low and oddly neutral in a way Jiang Cheng isn’t sure how to interpret. “He moved too quickly for Da-ge to stop him.”

“Who did?” Jiang Cheng asks. “Meng Yao or Lan Xichen.”

“Oh. I meant Er-ge, but I suppose it works for both of them.”

Jiang Cheng tightens his grip around Nie Huaisang’s waist and holds him close, lips pressed firmly against his neck, as he puts together the pieces that tell him that Lan Xichen had been aiming for him.

He was behind Meng Yao, who had moved too quickly for anyone to stop him. Moved in front of Nie Huaisang, to put himself between him and Shuoyue.

He doesn’t ask what Nie Huaisang did to anger Lan Xichen to such an extent. He doesn’t try to even guess at it, whatever it was it’s in the past. It’s already happened, and now Nie Mingjue, who carries the same sort of righteous anger on behalf of his loved ones as Nie Huaisang does, wants to come to the Unclean Realm to see his brother.

“You should tell him to come,” Jiang Cheng murmurs after a few long minutes of silence except for the sound of Nie Huaisang’s birds out in the garden and the occasional clang or shout from the training grounds a few courtyards away. “Soon, while I’m still here. See what he wants, and if he tries to hurt you because of whatever you did then I’ll protect you.”

“My A-Cheng is so loyal,” Nie Huaisang purrs, levity creeping back into his tone as slowly and softly as a sunrise. He turns then in Jiang Cheng’s arms to look at him and Jiang Cheng leans back enough to allow it, meeting his husband’s eyes steadily and not worrying at all about the guilty look in them. “I’m sorry I can’t..tell you all the details. You know I don’t like keeping things from you.”

Jiang Cheng shrugs and tucks a stray hair behind Nie Huaisang’s ear. “And I don’t really like you keeping secrets from me, but I haven’t been with you for decades just to start getting upset now that there are still things I don’t know about you. I know what I volunteered for.”

“You’re so lucky I snapped you up when I did instead of letting you loose to get taken advantage of, trusting little thing that you are,” Nie Huaisang tuts and pats him on the cheek with a playful smile. Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes as he jerks back from the contact and he fights against the urge to smile when Nie Huaisang just laughs at him. He stands to return to his desk with a little flick of his sleeves, shooting his husband a stern look over his shoulder as he goes.

“Write back to your brother and tell him to come here and apologize. Everyone survived the stabbing incident so he can’t be mad for too long, right? Might as well get it over with.”

“A-Cheng is right, as always,” Nie Huaisang demures with one of his dreamy little smiles that have been certified to make Jiang Cheng blush since they were teenagers.

He returns to his work without a fuss, and after another long reread of Nie Mingjue’s letter Nie Huaisang sighs, picks up a brush, and writes his response.

—

Nie Mingjue strides into the Unclean Realm a few days after he’d sent off his reply, and Nie Huaisang wonders if he’ll ever truly be used to it, seeing his brother older than he ever got to be the first time around.

Most days he doesn’t think too much about his own age. Though he hadn’t truly lost as much time as Wei Wuxian had - considering he hadn’t died, unlike his friend - he still sometimes thinks of those years he’d spent pursuing his revenge as well as the 5 years of the aftermath as having been barely lived at all. He’d spent so long mired in grief and fear and carefully constructed webs of manipulation with no one at all he could trust that he can’t really remember anything worth living for from those years. Most of the time he feels as young as he ever has, nothing more nor less than..himself.

But some days, like today, the truth of how many years he’s lived sits heavily on his shoulders and it’s a wonder to him that he isn’t beginning to go gray at the temples, that there aren’t lines around his eyes or mouth to telegraph to anyone who might look at him that he’s tired. This life is infinitely better than the one he’d left behind, that much is absolutely true, but sometimes the weight of both of them is just this side of too much.

He’d asked Jiang Cheng to wait for them inside, and now that he’s seeing Nie Mingjue for the first time since that awful night he’s glad that he did. His brother’s expression is cracked open, uncertainty and guilt and, yes, anger written plainly for anyone to read.

“Da-ge,” he greets when the man is close enough, and he can’t help but notice that he’d arrived alone despite the news he’d heard that all three of his brothers had gone to spend time with their family in Lanling following Meng Yao’s recovery. “Just you?”

“Xichen and A-Yao wanted to stay in Jinlintai,” Nie Mingjue says gruffly. “I’ll go back when I’m done here, we’re imposing on Jin Zixuan’s hospitality for a while longer.”

“I see.” Nie Huaisang doesn’t ask if it’s out of a desire to avoid him or to give Nie Mingjue space to do what he needs on his own, and Nie Mingjue doesn’t clarify. He gestures towards the nearest cluster of buildings without a word and Nie Huaisang turns to lead him inside, his stomach twisting uncomfortably with anxiety.

In his adult life, Nie Huaisang has done what he’s needed to do, and he’s made too many sacrifices to easily count. He’s lost everything once, and he’s lost plenty of it all over again. Whatever it is that Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have done to improve this life, they couldn’t prevent the loss of Lao Nie, or the degradation of Nie Mingjue’s health and wellbeing before Nie Huaisang had arrived and intervened. Lan Xichen has had a closer relationship with Nie Mingjue this time, that much had been evident from the beginning, but without Nie Huaisang’s intervention it wouldn’t have been enough to save him. And even though Nie Huaisang has saved him, he’s also lost him in the process, in a way. His brother lives in Cloud Recesses with his husbands, blissfully unaware of how desperately Nie Huaisang has missed him and therefore ignorant of how much his absence leaves Nie Huaisang bereft and, some nights, shaking through the aftermath of nightmares in which none of this second chance has happened at all and he’s lost his brother once again.

But in spite of - or maybe because of - how many hard choices he’s made in the past, anxiety still grabs at the hems of his robes, twists its claws into his heart at the slightest hint that all of this is going to be swept out from under his feet again. For maybe the first time in this new life he can’t tell what Nie Mingjue is thinking, and that alone is more than enough to make him afraid of whatever’s going to happen next.

He’d told Lan Xichen on his last evening in Gusu that he could bear to lose their trust so long as Nie Mingjue was still alive, and it had been true. He could bear it. It would just be a torment he very deeply hopes he won’t have to endure.

Nie Huaisang leads Nie Mingjue through the Unclean Realm, down familiar paths from one building to the next until they step inside the pavilion containing the Sect Leader’s office, once Nie Mingjue’s and now Nie Huaisang’s. It’s empty, Jiang Cheng having apparently elected to give them a bit of space, though Nie Huaisang is sure he’s near enough that he’ll be easy to fetch should an emergency arise.

“Xichen told us everything, after you left.”

Never one to beat around the bush. Nie Huaisang smiles ever so slightly to himself before he schools his expression into wary neutrality again and turns to face his brother standing behind him, near the door.

“Everything?”

“Everything he knew. More than Wei Wuxian told us when all of this started.”

Nie Huaisang nods, unsure what to say to that. By the end, of course, Lan Xichen had learned everything there was to know about the whole affair. Jin Guangyao’s numerous betrayals, his own blindness, the many strands in the web of Nie Huaisang’s revenge for the man now standing hale and hearty in front of him. If he’s shared every bit of it with his husbands now, then -

“I’m sorry.” Nie Mingjue says it as sincerely as he says everything, and somehow it still leaves Nie Huaisang utterly floored. Nie Mingjue doesn’t apologize easily - his pride rarely allows him to honestly acknowledge his faults, and rarely does he truly regret an action he thought was right - and to hear it now is actually disorienting. Their apologies when they fight aren’t typically apologies, but rather a mutual understanding that whatever it is that happened is over now and they’re going to move past it as if it never happened. They’re going to just forget about it and continue as they always have.

Nie Huaisang manages to choke out a slightly strained, “What?” before Nie Mingjue crosses the room in a few strides and grabs him. Pulls him into a crushing hug.

“I’m sorry, A-Sang,” Nie Mingjue says into his shoulder. Nie Huaisang wraps his arms tightly around his brother’s waist and clings to him like a child, burying his face in his heavy gray robes and breathing deeply of the familiar smell of him, virtually unchanged even after so many years spent away from home. He smells like the musky soaps he always buys from the markets in Qinghe, like leather and the iron tang of metal, and the dust of the road. Like open air and freedom and strength. Nie Huaisang hides his face in his brother’s chest and clings on for dear life, all the years of his lives falling away only to leave him feeling small and unsure.

“You saved my life, and you’ve done so much on your own - in this life and also..before. Whatever it was. I still don’t understand it and I refuse to listen to Wei Wuxian try to explain it, but whatever has happened you’ve always done everything you could for me. Even when it should have been me taking care of you.”

Nie Huaisang muffles a sob in Nie Mingjue’s robes but gives in when Nie Mingjue presses a hand to the back of his head to press him in closer, giving him tacit permission to keep crying if he needs to.

A small, frightened, animal part of him is crying out for his brother even though he’s right here, aching for the time they’d spent as children before everything got messy and complicated, when Nie Mingjue had sworn to protect him and give him everything he could and Nie Huaisang had lived free and easy, secure in the surety that his brother would protect him from everything, give him anything. No matter what happens, no matter what kind of arrays Wei Wuxian invents, no matter how many times someone turns back the years and returns to childhood, Nie Huaisang knows that the youth of innocence must always be lost. There’s no way to escape it except to die young, and Nie Huaisang wants, more than anything, to live on into old age with everyone he loves.

He wants to live in a world that contains his brother, and in which he hasn’t destroyed his relationships with Lan Xichen and Meng Yao. He wants to live with Jiang Cheng and enjoy his husband’s company, he wants to dote on his nieces and nephews and teach the next generation of Nies how to cultivate in ways that won’t send them careening to an early grave. He wants to enjoy the fruits of his labor, and he knows that no matter what he won’t trade this life away for anything.

Not even his innocence.

Nie Huaisang is older than Nie Mingjue, but he is, at his core, Nie Mingjue’s little brother. Nothing can take that away from him, which means that his brother will love and protect him until his last breath. Nie Huaisang doesn’t think he was wrong to be anxious about what this visit would bring, but he does feel a little foolish now for having forgotten, even momentarily, that Nie Mingjue’s oath to be the best brother he could be for the rest of their lives wasn’t an oath he took lightly, even though he’d made it as a child.

“Thank you, da-ge,” he eventually manages, his voice thick and snotty. “I missed you.”

“I’m sorry I ever left you alone,” Nie Mingjue rumbles, and Nie Huaisang knows he doesn’t mean in this lifetime. Because he hasn’t left him alone, not really, not when he takes any excuse to come visit and writes letters constantly to check in on things here. “I’m sorry I lost myself like Father did, and that I let -”

“It’s okay,” Nie Huaisang sniffles before Nie Mingjue can apologize for falling prey to Jin Guangyao’s schemes. “It’s all so far in the past now, da-ge, and…at the end you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt me, even when you were qi deviating and you didn’t know me anymore. And I’ve been here since I was fifteen anyway, I’ve had plenty of time to do my grieving and enjoy getting to grow up with you again. It’s all more immediate for er-ge than for any of the rest of us, I’ve…I’ve forgiven them.”

Nie Mingue lets him go then, finally, to level a look at him, one thick eyebrow raised in disbelief, but Nie Huaisang just shrugs.

“Alright fine, so my forgiveness may look a little strange all things considered, but I could have just killed Meng Yao when I woke up in Cloud Recesses and found him having the time of his life flirting with er-ge all over the place.”

“Not funny, A-Sang.”

“I’m not trying to be. I had just destroyed everything Jin Guangyao had worked for and treasured after years of waiting and plotting, it was all over for better or for worse, but suddenly he was right in front of me again and completely unaware that I was someone he should be watching out for. He’s sneaky and he’s smart, but he was easy prey back then. I could have done it, da-ge, but it’s over and done with. I’ll do what I have to do, but I won’t go any further than that, and it wouldn’t have accomplished anything except Meng Yao would be dead though he hadn’t even done anything wrong yet.”

Nie Mingjue glares at him but Nie Huaisang stands his ground, doesn’t take any of it back. If they’re going to move on from this then Nie Mingjue is going to have to see that his ruthless streak is a lot wider than anticipated (though in Nie Huaisang’s opinion that’s inevitable since no one thinks he has one at all).

“Does Wanyin know you’re like this?” Nie Mingjue asks a bit helplessly, and Nie Huaisang mentally corrects himself; there’s one person who knows exactly how wide it is.

“A-Cheng is maybe the only one who knows exactly what I’m like and always has, at least this time around. But for the rest of it, I don’t think he needs to know.”

Nie Mingjue’s expression turns serious again, sad under his furrowed brow, and Nie Huaisang watches him warily.

“Wei Wuxian said that part of the reason they wanted to start everything over was because everyone was miserable after everything that happened, even five years later. Including you and Wanyin.”

Nie Huaisang carefully shutters his expression as he takes a moment to tamp down the panic that occasionally sneaks up on him when he remembers just how firmly he’d been shut out of Jiang Cheng’s life before. Even before Nie Mingjue had died and the Sect had passed to him, he’d never truly gotten to help Jiang Cheng shoulder any of his burdens. He’d watched from afar as tragedy after tragedy turned the boy he loved turned into a man who was as cold and unyielding as a granite cliff to anyone who wasn’t his nephew. And after everything had come to light after Jin Guangyao’s death Nie Huaisang had been helpless as, somehow, an even wider gulf had opened between them, him alone on one side and Jiang Cheng on the other. He knows the chances of it happening again in this life are nigh on impossible, but sometimes he still can’t help but worry.

“We were. What of it?”

“I’m glad you have him now, didi. I’m grateful that he loves you.”

Nie Huaisang can’t help but squint a little at his brother, but he looks perfectly honest. Painfully earnest, as ever, his emotions always right at the surface.

“Thank you,” he finally settles on. “And I’m happy that you have er-ge and san-ge again, properly this time. No matter what happened before, it’s…things are different now. I’m glad they’re ending differently. Better.”

Nie Mingjue nods, and some of the tension of the conversation lifts enough for Nie Huaisang to feel like he can breathe again. They move on to talking about less fraught topics then, a strange mixture of their current lives and details Nie Huaisang can tell him from his previous life that Lan Xichen wouldn’t have known or thought to tell him. He can tell Nie Mingjue isn’t entirely comfortable talking about that other time, but it’s equally clear that he’s making an effort for Nie Huaisang’s sake, to understand him and love him for everything he is, and Nie Huaisang is more than capable of appreciating the gesture.

He doesn’t see Jiang Cheng again in private until after dinner, the two of them retiring to their quarters earlier than usual so that Nie Huaisang can have the freedom to shed his heavy outer robes, his guan, his weapons, and climb into bed to curl up tightly against Jiang Cheng’s chest. His husband holds him in his lap, arms and legs wrapped around him without question as Nie Huaisang hides against him, face buried in the crook of his neck, and breathes deeply until he feels a little less like he’s going to disintegrate.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t tell him that it’s alright, or ask him what happened, or anything else. He just holds him, presses kisses to the top of his head at irregular intervals, rubs his thumb slowly back and forth against his arm, the sensation slightly muted through his shirt.

“You don’t have to tell me anything about it,” Jiang Cheng murmurs when it’s late enough that theirs are probably the only lanterns still burning in the Unclean Realm. Nie Huaisang stirs a little from his dozing and starts to sit up, but Jiang Cheng presses a hand to his head to keep him curled up against him before he can. “But I…I overheard a little of what you were saying earlier, and I wanted to ask you something.”

Nie Huaisang very consciously doesn’t stiffen, but Jiang Cheng can probably feel it in him anyway. He’s attentive like that, even when Nie Huaisang sort of wishes he’d be just a little less observant.

“Alright,” he allows finally, and Jiang Cheng presses a long kiss to his forehead right in the center of his hairline.

“When were we miserable?” He whispers it carefully into Nie Huaisang’s forehead but he can still hear the uncertainty in his husband’s voice, the fear that he’s missing an important piece of information about their relationship. “I heard Nie Mingjue say that we were, and you agreed, but I don’t…I can’t think of a single time I’ve been unhappy with you, let alone for years. You’ve never made me miserable.”

“A-Cheng no,” Nie Huaisang rushes to comfort, sitting up and taking his husband’s face in both hands to press their foreheads together tightly. “How could I ever be miserable when you love me? That wasn’t - it’s…” He exhales sharply and closes his eyes, resigning himself to the reality that the only way to get that hurt-but-trying-to-hide-it look off of Jiang Cheng’s face is to tell him the truth.

“I’m going to tell you something, and all I want is for you not to leave me. You can hate me, you can be mad at me, but just..please don’t leave.”

“That’s not very comforting,” Jiang Cheng huffs but wraps his arms tightly around his waist again anyway. Nie Huaisang readjusts until he’s straddling Jiang Cheng’s lap, his calves pressed along the outsides of his thighs through the sheet and his hands resting lightly on his chest. He trails one hand up enough to feel his heartbeat, steady and regular, and he lets it soothe him as he finally drags the truth out of the shadows.

“You and I have lived this life before, but very differently. It’s too much to explain in full tonight, but…you didn’t love me then, like you love me now. We were never married, barely even spoke to each other in the end. We both lost…everyone. Everything. We were extremely unhappy, but it has nothing at all to do with this life. We got a chance to try again, so I took it and I’ve never regretted any of it, not even once.”

Jiang Cheng stares at him blankly for a few long, breathless moments and then says, “Oh heavens, you’re serious.” Desperately though he wants to, Nie Huaisang doesn’t try to pull Jiang Cheng’s hands away from his face when he raises them to cover his eyes, instead letting his husband have a moment to think through whatever he needs to.

“I never wanted you to know,” Nie Huaisang can’t help but whisper, desperate to defend himself as his old panic begins to creep in again. “All I’ve ever wanted is for the people I care about to be happy. All I want is to be able to love you - you can’t be angry with me for doing everything I could to make sure I’d be allowed to, can you?”

Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath in and finally lowers his hands, and Nie Huaisang’s shoulders sag in relief to see that his husband doesn’t look angry or even hurt, just a bit shocked.

“No. I’m not angry. But I want a full explanation at some point, preferably when it’s not almost dawn. I want to understand what’s going on.”

Nie Huaisang nods and hurries to duck in and hide in Jiang Cheng’s chest again - he thinks sometimes that they were perfectly built for it, they fit so well together and they both take so much comfort from holding each other like this.

“And you’re not going to leave me?”

Jiang Cheng huffs a frustrated exhale that ruffles his hair. “No I’m not going to leave you, you already know I would never dream of it. I’ve known what you’re capable of for decades, A-Sang. You can't scare me off that easily.”

The remaining tension leaves Nie Huaisang’s shoulders at the typically-gruff reassurance and he lays down properly when Jiang Cheng coaxes him away from his lap to get settled in for the night. He lays in their bed and watches Jiang Cheng go through the ritual of blowing out each lamp one by one, and when the room is fully dark he listens to the familiar rustling as his husband makes his way back to him, slides into bed beside him. Jiang Cheng pulls him close the second he’s horizontal, and Nie Huaisang tries not to cry as he fits himself right where he belongs against Jiang Cheng’s side under his arm, head pillowed on his chest. He listens to the steady thumping of his heartbeat under his ear and the whisper of Jiang Cheng’s hand running up and down the soft silk of his shirt, rubbing his back in soothing circles until he begins to feel drowsy enough to sleep.

In the end, he does tell Jiang Cheng everything. It’s harder than he’d like to admit, but when it’s all out in the open and his final, biggest secret is off his chest, he can’t deny that it makes him feel lighter. Freer. Like this life is finally completely his, and he can live it exactly as he wants to without the shadow of the past looming behind him and threatening to bring it all crashing down around him. It’s been so long since he’s been able to live without watching his every step, his every word, that it actually takes an effort to remember that he doesn’t have to hide anymore. But every time he manages it, the feeling of relief and being known is its own reward, and every happy kiss or smile from Jiang Cheng is an extremely welcome bonus.

#the untamed fanfic #Sangcheng #Nie Huaisang #Jiang Cheng #Nie Mingjue #crybaby nie brothers rights #After Each Midnight Begins A New Day #HAHA SUCKAAASSSS I'M STILL NOT DONE WITH THIS UNIVERSE #anyway I guess what I'm getting from the last few things I've worked on is that my writer's block can be cured by Jiang Cheng so that's bee #*been fun #Love my angry purple man with a heart of gold #some anti commented on the main fic a long time ago (I think it was the xiyao troll 🙄) that I completely misrepresented/misunderstood #the Nie brothers/ that NMJ would never get angry at NHS or something like that #and I was like first of all that's completely incorrect CANONICALLY #but also fuck off I wrote their argument with this reconciliation already in mind #and then I just straight up never finished writing it lol #but the Muse has Gifted Me

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mxtxfanatic · 2 years

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In one of your recent reblogs, I think you had a semi rhetorical question asking smth like, what could JCs actions be if not homophobic? And ever since I've been trying to put my headcanon into words and figure out *why*.

(Pls take this just as an alternate headcanon, not me trying to push my views.)

I've been trying to remember why JC didn't seem homphobic to me at first glance when I read the book, then I realized - my headcanon was that he would have reacted the same way if it was a woman - that he's romance and sex repulsed in general, not just between men.

If it had been a woman WWX had been with on that final night in Lotus Pier, a woman that WWX cuddled up to and then bowed before his parents with... that's still a different person taking *his* spot as important to WWX.

That he got angry at the bowing scene, not because they weren't paying respect properly - but because it was so final, like WWX was saying "thank you", "I'm sorry", and "goodbye" - that he'd no longer need to come back to him. (Bc he can still want wwx back no matter how he actually feels about him. He should be here, under him; what right does he have to leave again? ... which is a bunch of BS, but who *ever* said JC is a logical, rational person instead of a ball of conflicting emotions.)

So... yeah. I think he would have hated whoever WWX brought - that it was *Lan Wangji* was icing on the cake.

Then why didn't he get fussy when his Shixiong always flirted with girls? Because they weren't *actually* a threat. WWX never even considered *actually* following through on any flirting - not until his Lan Zhan. He didn't seem thrilled with it either, though, but he couldn't really say anything bc it was more normal to everyone else, and WWX would tease him about that.

...I hope this is coherent; I just woke up and had the explanatory brainwave insisting I reasons to that rhetorical question *right now*.

In summation: my headcanon is that JC is romance and sex repulsed on all levels, and would have hated it just as much if Lan Wangji was a girl that was taking WWX away.

Hm, I agree with everything here except the romance- and sex-repulsion, but also in a slightly different way (and I see the other ask about this not being a defense of jc, so I won’t respond to it as such). These are where I diverge:

Just to get this out of the way, the text establishes Jiang Cheng as homophobic upon his first meeting of “Mo Xuanyu,” who was doing nothing at the time for jc to feel any discuss towards if his issue is romance or sex, so that’s an established fact. But with that out of the way, I agree that jc was really territorial of Wei Wuxian and that he definitely picked up on the finality of wwx’s actions in the ancestral hall. I also agree that jc would have acted just as acerbically towards wwx bringing a woman, but for a different reason: he would have probably seen a woman as a threat to wwx’s servitude due to the history of wwx’s father leaving the Jiang to follow his wife, as wwx had done (for entirely different reasons). This is also supported by the way jc is always upset at wwx in the scenes where wwx “flirts” with other girls and women, like when he is teasing Mianmian and in the lotus pod seed extra when he “flirts” with the girls who gave them watermelon, so maybe you have a point there. But jc being dismissive towards wwx flirting with women as a way to dissuade wwx from pursuing them is different from the marked disgust he shows towards the idea that wwx could like lwj, something he felt the need to “expose” (his words). So while jc would hate anyone wwx brought home, he’d hate a woman because she threatens wwx’s loyalty to him, but a man because he’s a homophobe.

However, I disagree that this is sex- and romance-repulsion because jc only shows this towards wangxian, not towards the idea of other couples like Jin Guangyao and Qin Su or Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan. Jc would have been present for jyl and jzx’s courtship, but is famously shown as being fine with them being together, no problem. It’s even mentioned in the wedding dress scene that jc had been the one reassuring jyl about her outfit, meaning he was also intimately involved in that planning of his own free will, past the requirement of just picking a date and passing everything else off to servants. All jc saw was wangxian hug and decided it was “too intimate.” He doesn’t show this same disgust when wwx flirts with women, just annoyance and dismissiveness. That’s just the homophobia babes lol

#mdzs asks #annaisu #thanks for the ask!#you have a point with the territorialness of jc towards wwx #but the disgust is something that he only shows towards the queer characters #coupled or not

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rosethornewrites · 8 months

Text

NR , E, & M reading since 7/17

The usual

Finished

Not Rated:

Go Hiking With a Blindfold On, by Hauntcats

This is a continuation of a chapter from Jiang Cheng - Dumb Ways To Die by such_stuff_as_dreams_are_made_on

Not Jiang friendly. If you don't like that, please, don't read. It will only make you unhappy.

maybe friends, but not lovers, by Cy_an_Blue (2nd in a series, locked)

After some revelations with the Juniors, Wei Wuxian makes his way to Qinghe to visit one of the few old friends he has that doesn't hate him.

He did not expect to come away from the night with two sworn brothers.

Explicit:

hear my voice and it's been here, by Sour_Idealist (reread, 5th in a series)

Jiang Yanli never expected to lead the Jiang Clan. But here she is, and the people she loves need her to lead it well. Her weapons are not conventional, but she'll use everything she has.

unbreak you to the day you met her, by Sour_Idealist (reread. 7th in a series)

Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing have a great deal to discuss, after she begins to bolster her forces.

In the Cold Dark, by mondengel (reread, locked)

More than just the guqin attacks Wei WuXian in the cold spring.

Mature:

brave enough to breathe, by Sour_Idealist (reread, 1st in a series)

Wang Lingjiao takes her time mentioning the Wen Supervisory Offices. Yu Ziyuan cuts off Wei Wuxian's sword hand in compliance with the Wens' demands, but Lotus Pier still falls. Its children manage as well as they can.

to do whatever must be done, by Sour_Idealist (reread, 3rd in a series)

A-Cheng looks up at her.

“It’s going to have to be you, a-Jie,” he says. At first she simply doesn’t understand; then she can feel the realization there, waiting to be let in.

“What’s going to have to be me?” she asks, as if it will be easier to bear if she’s not the one who says it.

“To lead the Jiang Clan,” a-Xian says.

impossible with two hands, no more impossible with one, by Sour_Idealist (reread, 4th in a series)

A First Disciple with no sword hand. A former clan heir with no golden core. A leader who was never meant to hold the role. Their disciples are killed or scattered; their home is in enemy hands. The Jiang Clan of Yunmeng is not in an enviable position.

Fortunately, they're the Jiang Clan, and they're going to make it work. Wei Wuxian is going to make sure of it.

we shouldn't always get what we think we want, by Sour_Idealist (reread, 6th in a series)

Meng Yao did not come to Nightless City for the sake of Wen Qing, but he has benefited her immensely regardless.

For whose sake did he infiltrate the Wen?

a long way to find peace of mind, by Sour_Idealist (reread, last in a series)

A year after the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Mingjue has business once again in Qishan.

Unfinished

Not Rated:

"Thank You": 5 times Lan Qiren thanked Wei Wuxian and 1 time Lan Qiren returned the favour, by iris_fire

Lan Qiren has spent nearly two decades hating the boy who turned to taboo methods and caused his nephew to rebel. After the revelations at Guanyin Temple were shared with the rest of the cultivation world, Lan Qiren gained a new perspective on his nephew's husband. He begins to watch Wei Wuxian in his daily life at the Cloud Recesses with a slightly more open mind. However, one emotion he never expected to feel towards him was gratitude.

Explicit:

you'll find my heart on the mountainside, by lulu_kitty

After parting ways with Lan Wangji on the mountain path, Wei Wuxian takes some time to consider what it is that he wants with this new second chance at life.

The answer finds him coming back to Lan Wangji, his zhiji, but after they reunite and set forth to embark on their new life together, an unexpected surprise awaits them on their journey home.

Or, a post-canon CQL/Untamed getting together story: accidental baby acquisition addition.

Mature:

Cutting Out a Different Path, by Sunflower1778 (locked)

Wei Wuxian wakes up with an old back pain and a lack of a familiar warmth by his side. He groans, moving his arm around the bed to feel for Lan Wangji. Except what he feels is not a bed. Startled, he gets up quickly to find himself on a familiar slab of rock in a very familiar cave. Rubbing his eyes in disbelief, he takes a look around. His half-finished talismans are lying around on the floor and he can hear voices from outside

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #cql #chen qing ling #untamed fanfiction

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fannish-karmiya · 3 years

Text

Wei Wuxian’s Position in the Jiang Household

Fandom tends to mischaracterise Wei Wuxian’s position in the Jiang family greatly. A lot of people project more modern ideas about adoption onto his relationship with the Jiang siblings, and write as if he really is their sibling and only Yu Ziyuan’s abusive nature gets in the way of their bond.

This strikes me as a bit misguided. While adoption was practised in ancient China, it was mainly for the purpose of obtaining a male heir in the absence of one, or obtaining more daughters to marry off for alliances. Jiang Fengmian had no reason to adopt Wei Wuxian into the main family, and he didn’t. Wei Wuxian’s position in the household is far more nebulous than that, and honestly it’s hard to find an exact corollary, in Chinese history or in any culture, precisely because it was so messy and ill-defined.

A Companion to Upper Class Children

Wei Wuxian is the son of a servant of Yunmeng Jiang; it’s notable that Wei Changze is always referred to this way, rather than as a disciple. Wei Changze wound up leaving the sect in order to marry Cangse Sanren, and Jiang Fengmian considered them dear enough friends that when he heard they passed away, he spent years searching for their orphaned son. He wound up finding Wei Wuxian on the streets of Yiling and brought him home as his ward.

Wei WuXian was taken home by Jiang FengMian when he was nine.

Most memories from back then were already blurred. Yet, Jin Ling’s mother, Jiang YanLi, remembered all of them, and even told him quite a few.

She said that, after his father heard of the news that his parents both died in battle, he had always dedicated himself to finding the child that these past friends had left behind. After searching for a while, he finally found the child in Yiling.

(Chapter 24, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s clear from the start that beyond this sense of obligation to his old friends, Jiang Fengmian also had a role set out for Wei Wuxian: he wanted him to be a companion to his children, and Jiang Cheng in particular.

He encourages a friendship between them, insisting on a sleepover between the two a week into Wei Wuxian’s stay.

On the second day, Jiang Cheng’s puppies were given to someone else.

This angered Jiang Cheng so much that he threw a big tantrum. No matter how much Jiang FengMian comforted him gently, telling him that they should ‘be good friends’, he refused to talk to Wei WuXian. Quite a few days later, Jiang Cheng’s attitude softened. Jiang FengMian wanted to strike while the iron was still hot, so he told Wei WuXian to sleep in the same room as him, hoping that they’d grow fonder of each other.

[...]

That night, Jiang Cheng locked Wei WuXian outside his room, refusing to let him in.

[...]

Wei WuXian waited outside for a long time. When the door opened, before the joy could spread onto his face, he was bombarded with a pile of things being thrown out. The door banged shut again.

Jiang Cheng told him from inside, “Go sleep somewhere else! This is my room! You’re even gonna steal my room?!”

[...]

Standing outside, as Wei WuXian heard that dogs would come bite him, fear immediately bubbled within him. Twisting his fingers, he hurried, “I’ll go, I’ll go. Don’t call the dogs!”

Dragging behind him the sheets and blanket that were thrown outside, he ran out the hall. Having only arrived at Lotus Pier for a short period of time, he didn’t dare jump around yet. Every day, he obediently holed up in the places that Jiang FengMian told him to stay at. He didn’t even know where his room was, much less have the courage to knock on other people’s doors, scared that it’d disturb someone’s dreams.

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

After Jiang Cheng is worried about getting in trouble, he goes to Jiang Yanli for help, and she searches for Wei Wuxian.

But this was the first pair of shoes that Jiang FengMian bought him. Wei WuXian was too embarrassed to make him go out of his way to buy another pair, and so he said that they weren’t too big. Jiang YanLi helped him into his shoe and pressed the hollow tip, “It is a bit big. I’ll fix it for you when we get back.”

Hearing this, Wei WuXian felt somewhat uneasy, as if he did something wrong again.

Living in other people’s homes, the worst that could happen was to make trouble for the hosts.

Jiang YanLi put him onto her back and began to walk back, wobbling in her steps as she spoke, “A-Ying, no matter what A-Cheng said to you, don’t bother about him. He doesn’t have a good temper, so he’s always home playing with himself. Those puppies were his favorites. Dad sent them away, and so he’s feeling upset. He’s actually really happy that somebody’s here to be with him.”

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

Later, Wei Wuxian offers to cover for him, saying simply that he ran outside by himself because he was scared. In this one case it feels like a genuine instance of children showing solidarity and covering for each other’s little misbehaviours. But it also follows a pattern of Wei Wuxian doing this and making excuses, time and time again, for Jiang Cheng. I wonder if on some level, he already knew that his role in the household was in part to be a companion-servant to Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian normally never puts up with people treating him poorly or being arrogant; he constantly bites his tongue when Jiang Cheng does so around him. While they study at Cloud Recesses, Jiang Cheng frequently insults Wei Wuxian, who always just smiles and laughs it off.

Jiang Cheng humphed, “Him? He wakes at nine in the morning and sleeps at one during the night. When he wakes up, he doesn’t practice his sword or meditate; he goes boating, swims around, picks lotus seedpods, and hunts for pheasants.”

Wei WuXian replied, “No matter how much pheasants I hunt, I’m still number one.”

(Chapter 13, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng scolded with a darkened expression, “What are you proud of?! What is there to be proud of with this?! Do you think that it’s a glorious thing to be told by someone to get lost? You bring so much shame upon our sect!”

(Chapter 16, Exiled Rebels translation)

We never see Wei Wuxian excusing this sort of behaviour from any other character; he has no problem scolding Jin Ling for his arrogant attitude and telling him that he shouldn’t be imitating his uncle, after all! It’s only where Jiang Cheng is concerned that he does this, and honestly, even then he seems to be quite aware that Jiang Cheng’s behaviour is wrong; he simply accepts on some level that it’s his role in the household to put up with it.

He actually does, very gently, try to guide Jiang Cheng at times. In Lotus Seed Pods, for example, he tries to give Jiang Cheng advice on how to flirt with some of the maidens in Yunmeng and make friends:

Wei WuXian threw the seed pods toward the shore. It was a far distance, but they landed lightly in the women’s hands. He grabbed a few more and stuffed them into Jiang Cheng’s arms, shoving, “What are you doing, just standing there? Hurry up.”

After a few shoves, Jiang Cheng could only accept them, “Hurry up and do what?”

Wei WuXian, “You ate the watermelon too, so you also have to return the gift, don’t you? Here, here, don’t be embarrassed. Start throwing, start throwing.”

Jiang Cheng snorted again, “You must be joking. What’s there to be embarrassed about?” Whatever he said, however, even after all of the shidi began to throw seed pods, he still didn’t start to move. Wei WuXian urged, “Then throw some! If you throw some this time, next time you can ask them if the seed pods tasted good, and you’ll be able to make conversation again!”

[...]

Jiang Cheng was just about to throw one when he realized how shameless it was the moment he heard it. He peeled a seed pod and ate it by himself.

[...]

After a while of laughter, he turned around and looked at Jiang Cheng, who was sitting at the front of the boat eating seed pods with a long face. His smile gradually disappeared as he sighed, “Well, what an unteachable child.”

Jiang Cheng fumed, “So what if I want to eat alone?”

Wei WuXian, “Look at you, Jiang Cheng. Nevermind. You’re hopeless. Just wait to eat alone your whole life!”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

He even sighs rather disappointedly when Jiang Cheng refuses to take the hint; he knows that Jiang Cheng’s sullen behaviour is going to make him miserable down the line, but all of his gentle efforts to nudge him in a better direction have failed.

He also speaks with great awareness of Jiang Cheng’s flaws after the fight in the ancestral hall:

Wei WuXian reached out with one hand and massaged his chest, as if trying to break up the pent-up feeling inside his heart. A moment later, he blurted, “I knew Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have let us go so easily. That brat… How could this be?!”

[...]

Wei WuXian’s eyelids throbbed, “Every one of them. The brat’s been like this ever since he was young.He’ll say anything when he’s angry, no matter how bad it is. He gives up on all grace and discipline whatsoever. As long as it’d annoy whomever he’s against, he’d say it no matter what terrible insults he uses. After all these years, he hasn’t gotten better at all. Please don’t take it to heart.”

(Chapter 90, Exiled Rebels translation)

This is so interesting to me, because it really makes it clear that Wei Wuxian has always been aware of these flaws of Jiang Cheng’s. He hasn’t been viewing him through rose-coloured lenses or making excuses for him because he’s ‘family’. He puts up with Jiang Cheng’s behaviour because being his companion is one of his duties in the Jiang household. It may never have been directly stated, but there seems to be some unspoken understanding to this effect.

I honestly don’t know if there is any official role in history (in any culture, not just China) which perfectly correlates to this. In China a lady’s maid was expected to also be a close friend and companion to her mistress (in canon, see Bicao to Qin-furen and Yinzhu and Jinzhu to Yu-furen). In Europe an upper class woman would hire a lady’s companion, a woman from the lower fringes of the gentry who would serve as her companion in exchange for financial support.

I don’t know of any version of this role which involves two men. In general, this sort of role existed because upper class women were confined to the household by and large, and had very limited social spheres. Men, meanwhile, had much greater ability to meet with their peers and make friends. I almost feel like Wei Wuxian wound up being shoved into this role simply because even as a child Jiang Cheng was so unsociable that Jiang Fengmian didn’t know what else to do!

Wei Wuxian also at least once steps in and starts a fight in place of Jiang Cheng (essentially taking the fall for him). He does this when Jin Zixuan speaks disparagingly of Jiang Yanli at Cloud Recesses:

Jin ZiXuan asked in reply, “Why don’t you ask me how on Earth can I be satisfied with her?”

Jiang Cheng instantly stood up.

Pushing him to the side, Wei WuXian walked in front of him and sneered, “You sure think that you’re pretty satisfying, don’t you? Where did you get the guts to be all choosy here?”

[...]

Wei WuXian sighed, “… It’d be nice if shijie came. It’s fortunate that you didn’t hit him.”

Jiang Cheng, “I was going to. If you didn’t push me, the other side of Jin ZiXuan’s face would also be ruined.”

(Chapter 18, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s also very notable that Wei Wuxian is never shown having friends outside of Jiang Cheng’s social circle, despite what an outgoing and friendly person he is. Any time he expresses interest in someone for himself, as with Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng tries to nip it in the bud. Being unable to deter Wei Wuxian from Lan Wangji directly, Jiang Cheng instead tries to drive a wedge between them, constantly telling Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji hates him.

“Yeah,” Nie HuaiSang spoke, “It looks like he really hates you, Wei-xiong. Lan WangJi usually… No, he never does something so impolite.”

Wei WuXian, “He hates me already? I wanted to apologize to him.”

Jiang Cheng sneered, “Apologizing now? Too late! Like his uncle, he surely thinks that you are evil and unruly to the core, and didn’t bother to pay you any attention.”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng pulled him even closer, “It’s not as if you’re familiar with him! Don’t you see how much he hates you? You’re going to carry him? He probably doesn’t even want you a step closer to him.”

(Chapter 52, Exiled Rebels translation)

He even directly orders Wei Wuxian not to invite Lan Wangji to come visit him at Lotus Pier during the Lotus Seed Pod extra.

Wei WuXian, “Why are you so upset? My watermelon almost flew away! I was just being polite. Of course he wouldn’t come. Have you ever heard of him go anywhere by himself to have fun?”

Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s not only Lan Wangji he tries to steer Wei Wuxian away from; he also interrupts his conversation with Wen Ning at the archery competition:

Wen QiongLin was probably one of Wen Clan’s disciples furthest in bloodline. His status was neither high nor low, yet his personality was timid. He didn’t dare do anything and even his speech stuttered. Through much practice, he had finally conjured up the courage to enter the competition, but he blew it because he was too nervous. If he didn’t receive the right guidance, perhaps the boy would hide his true self more and more from now on and never dare to perform in front of other people again. Wei WuXian encouraged him a couple of times and touched on a few areas of growth, correcting some miniscule problems that he had when he was shooting in the garden. Wen QiongLin listened so attentively that he didn’t even turn his eyes away, nodding uncontrollably.

Jiang Cheng, “Where did you find so much nonsense? The competition is starting soon. Get into the arena right now!”

Wei WuXian spoke to Wen QiongLin in a serious tone, “I’ll be off to the competition now. Later, you can see how I shoot when I’m in the arena…”

Jiang Cheng dragged him away, short of patience. He spat as he dragged, “See how you shoot? Do you think that you’re a model or something?!”

(Chapter 59, Exiled Rebels translation)

Even when it comes to Wei Wuxian’s friendly flirtation with Mianmian, Jiang Cheng has something to say and tries to deter him from her:

Jiang Cheng, “The one that MianMian gave you? I didn’t.”

Wei WuXian exclaimed his regret, “I’ll find her for another one later.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, “You’re at it again. You don’t really like her, do you? The girl does look fine, but it’s obvious that she doesn’t have much background. Maybe she isn’t even a disciple. She seems like the daughter of a servant.”

Wei WuXian, “What’s wrong with servants? I’m also the son of a servant, aren’t I?”

Jiang Cheng, “How can you compare to her? Whose servant is like you, having your master peel lotus seeds for you and boil you soup. I didn’t even get to have some!”

(Chapter 56, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng really does seem to view Wei Wuxian in a very proprietary light; he’s not allowed to have any friendships which don’t exist under Jiang Cheng’s direct control.

The idea that Wei Wuxian was meant to be Jiang Cheng’s servant-friend is reinforced at its darkest when Lotus Pier falls: both Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian’s last words to Wei Wuxian are an instruction to protect Jiang Cheng.

One hand holding him, Madam Yu grabbed Wei WuXian’s lapels with her other hand as though to strangle him to death. She spoke through clenched teeth, “… You damn little brat! I hate you! I hate you more than anything else! Look at what our sect has gone through for your sake!”

[...]

Madam Yu, “Don’t make such a fuss. It’ll loosen up when you’re somewhere safe. If anyone attacks you on the journey, it’ll protect you as well. Don’t come back. Go to Meishan straight away and find your sister!”

After she finished, she turned to Wei WuXian and pointed at him, “Wei Ying! Listen to me! Protect Jiang Cheng, protect him even if you die, do you understand?!”

[...]

Jiang FengMian stared into his eyes. Suddenly, he reached out. Only after pausing in the air did he finally touch Jiang Cheng’s head, slowly, “A-Cheng, be well.”

Wei WuXian, “Uncle Jiang, if anything happens to you, he won’t be well.”

Jiang FengMian turned his eyes to him, “A-Ying, A-Cheng… you must look after him.”

(Chapter 58, Exiled Rebels translation)

Even Jiang Fengmian, who supposedly favoured Wei Wuxian, only gives him instructions as pertains to his own son; he doesn’t spare a single last word for Wei Wuxian himself.

A Lower Status Family Member

It wasn’t uncommon throughout human history, across many cultures, for wealthy families to take in relatives who were orphaned or had otherwise fallen on hard times. They tended to have a lower status than the main family; they lived with them and were still a part of their social sphere, but were not quite equal, either. The English term for this is ‘poor relation’.

Obviously, Wei Wuxian isn’t actually a blood relative at all. But his position in the Jiang household definitely has some similarities. He lives in the main house, eats meals with the family, attends school with the son... He is even on some conditional levels accepted into the gentry of cultivation society. But he isn’t a full equal member of the family, either.

The fact that he’s Jiang Fengmian’s ward, not a blood relative or adopted into the main family, puts him at even more of a disadvantage. It seems that Jiang Fengmian paid for all of Wei Wuxian’s expenses:

Wei WuXian took a bite, “Back then, I didn’t even have to pay when I ate at the dock. I grabbed whatever I wanted, ate whatever I wanted; ran after I grabbed, walked as I ate. A month later, the vendor would get the reimbursement from Uncle Jiang.”

(Chapter 86, Exiled Rebels translation)

While this is a bit of conjecture, I gather that he was given access to family money as if he was part of the clan, and could just charge Yunmeng Jiang whenever he shopped in Lotus Pier. Which is great so long as Wei Wuxian is accepted in Yunmeng Jiang...but as we see during the Burial Mounds settlement period, the moment that acceptance fades, Wei Wuxian is left out in the cold without a single coin. And because he isn’t a member of the family, it’s a far easier matter for him to be thrown aside, as he was when Jiang Cheng grew angry with him over his decision to protect the Wens.

Of course, Chinese families traditionally did share their wealth, and still do nowadays. Ideally, in a loving family, this is a positive and means they all support each other; but when that isn’t the case, it leaves the victims of abuse vulnerable.

In Wei Wuxian’s case, he has some of the benefits of being a member of the Jiang clan, without ever actually being a member. He can be cast aside at any time, and he is never afforded the same respect by wider cultivation society which an inner clan member would have.

I don’t believe the novel ever directly addresses Wei Wuxian’s acceptance into the guest lectures at Cloud Recesses in this light, but the donghua actually has a very interesting little exchange about it which takes place between Nie Huaisang and a relative of his:

“Wei-xiong is just a disciple from Yunmeng. Why could he come to Gusu to study?”

“Wei-xiong is the son of Jiang-zongzhu’s old friend. He has been treated as their own son.”

“Oh, I see. That explains why they don’t look like master and servant, they seem like brothers.”

(MDZS Donghua, Episode 3, Guodong Subs)

Wei Wuxian was only allowed to attend these lectures, which seem to mainly be for sect heirs and inner clan members, on the grace of being Jiang Fengmian’s ward (and probably to accompany Jiang Cheng). While this exchange is not from the book, we never do see or hear about any of the other students being outer disciples rather than members of the main clan. Here’s what the novel had to say about it:

In that year, aside from the YunmengJiang Sect, there were also the young masters from other clans, sent to study here from parents who heard of the reputation. The young masters were all around fifteen or sixteen. Because the sects all knew the others, although they weren’t close, they had seen others’ faces before. It was widely known that, although Wei WuXian’s surname was not Jiang, he was the leading disciple of the sect leader of the YunmengJiang Sect—Jiang FengMian, and also the son of his friend who had passed away. In fact, the sect leader regarded him as his own child. This, along with how youths were not as concerned with status and ancestry as elders, they were soon friends. Only a few sentences passed, and everyone started to call others older brothers or younger brothers.

(Chapter 13, Exiled Rebels translation)

And Wei Wuxian isn’t treated as an equal at school, either; when he and his friends get up to mischief, he’s frequently the only one punished. Nie Huaisang even notes that Lan Qiren seems to be far harder on him than the other students:

Nie HuaiSang spoke, “Why does it seem like old man Lan is especially strict towards you? He always directs his scoldings at you.”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

And we see Wei Wuxian being the sole one punished out of a group taken for granted by his friends multiple times:

As a result of cheating notes flying everywhere in the air, Lan WangJi suddenly attacked during the test, and caught a few initiators of the commotion. Lan QiRen exploded with anger, writing letters to the prominent clans to tell on them. He loathed Wei WuXian—in the beginning, although these disciples could hardly sit still, at least nobody started anything, and their buttocks were able to stick to their legs. However, now that Wei Ying came, the originally spineless brats were influenced by his encouragement, venturing out at night and drinking alcohol however they pleased. The unhealthy practices grew greater and greater. As he had expected, Wei Ying was one of the biggest threats to humanity!

Jiang FengMian replied, “Ying has always been like this. Please take care to discipline him, Mr. Lan.”

And so, Wei WuXian was punished again.

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

The boys were all cheating, but Wei Wuxian is the one punished most severely. This happens when he's caught sneaking alcohol, too (though to be fair to Lan Wangji, he probably was only punishing him, and himself alongside him, for being outside after curfew when he threw them off the wall).

Of course, Jiang Cheng didn’t dare to say that Wei WuXian was at fault. Thinking back, it was them who urged Wei WuXian to buy liquor. Each and every one of them should have been punished. He could only speak in a vague way, “It’s fine, it’s fine; it’s not that serious! He can walk. Wei WuXian, why are you still up there?!”

(Chapter 18, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s not entirely unreasonable for the one who gets caught to take the punishment (what’s he going to do, rat his friends out?) but their ready acceptance of this does fit into a pattern.

Jiang Cheng’s top was tied at his waist. Hearing his mother’s chastise, he hastily put it over his head. Madam Yu scolded again, “And you boys! Can’t you see that A-Li’s here? Who taught you brats to dress like this in front of a girl!?”

Of course, it was needless to think who led the group. Thus, Madam Yu’s next sentence, as usual, was “Wei Ying! Do you want to die!?”

[...]

He could still feel some pain in his back, so he tossed the paddles to someone else, sat down, and felt the stinging piece of flesh, “How unfair. Nobody else was wearing anything, but why was I the only one who got scolded and beaten up?”

Jiang Cheng, “Because you hurt the eye the most with no clothes on, for sure.”

[...]

Everyone nodded. Wei WuXian, “Thanks for the praise, you guys. I’m even starting to feel some goose bumps.”

The shidi, “You’re welcome, Da-Shixiong. You protect us every single time. You deserve even more!”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

While we know that Yu Ziyuan is an abusive person in general, she abuses Wei Wuxian far more harshly than anyone else, even the outer disciples. It’s made clear to us in Lotus Seed Pods that she whips him regularly over minor infractions:

Madam Yu was even angrier, “How dare you run! Come back right now and kneel!” As she spoke, she let loose her whip with a flip of her wrist. Wei WuXian felt a searing pain slash across his back. He loudly exclaimed, “Ow!” And almost tripped on the ground.

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

And that his back is heavily scarred from it:

He felt his back, covered in scars both old and new, and still couldn’t hold back the question he’d be thinking about, “How awfully unfair. Why is it that I’m the only one who gets beaten up, whenever something happens?”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

Rumours about this even made it outside of Lotus Pier; during their visit to the ancestral hall years later, Lan Wangji even states that he heard about some of it:

Lan WangJi had on an expression of understanding, “Kneeling as punishment?”

Wei WuXian mused, “How did you know? That’s right. Madam Yu punished me almost every day.”

Lan WangJi nodded, “I have heard of a few things.”

Wei WuXian, “It’s so famous that even people outside Yunmeng, even you Gusu people know—how could it be ‘a few things’? But, to be honest, in all these years, I’ve never seen a second woman whose temper was as bad as Madam Yu’s. She told me to go to the ancestral hall and kneel no matter how small the matter was. Hahaha…”

(Chapter 87, Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei Wuxian’s lower social standing is definitely a part of why Yu Ziyuan is able to abuse him so terribly and receive little to no censure for it. Everyone at Lotus Pier simply takes it for granted, with the exception of Jiang Yanli who at least does try to deflect her mother when she is angry with Wei Wuxian:

Yet, all of a sudden, someone’s quiet voice drifted by Madam Yu’s ear, “Mom, do you want to eat some watermelon…”

[...]

Jiang YanLi almost cried from her mother’s pinching, mumbling, “Mom, A-Xian and the others were hiding here to relieve the heat and I came here on my own. Don’t blame them… Do… Do you want some watermelon… I don’t know who gave them to us, but it’s really sweet. Eating watermelon in the summer is great for cooling down and quenching thirst. I’ll cut them for you…”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

She both tries to deflect her mother from her anger, and also outright states that Wei Wuxian and the other boys weren’t at fault. Jiang Yanli seems to be the only one at Lotus Pier who ever does this.

After the war, Wei Wuxian attends social events at Jiang Cheng’s side but is never quite treated as an equal, either. See how at the Flower Banquet, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue greet Jiang Cheng but not him:

Suddenly, a voice spoke, “Sect Leader Nie, Sect Leader Lan.”

Hearing the familiar voice, Wei WuXian’s heart jumped. Nie MingJue turned around again. Jiang Cheng came over, dressed in purple, hand on his sword.

And the person standing beside Jiang Cheng was none other than Wei WuXian himself.

He saw himself walk with hands behind his back, wearing all black. A flute in the shade of ink stuck to his waist, hanging down with crimson colored tassels. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Jiang Cheng, he nodded in this direction to show respect. Attitude slightly arrogant, he took on a profound, disdainful appearance. As Wei WuXian saw the stance of his younger self, the root of his teeth even cringed in soreness. He felt that he really was pretentious, and itched to just beat the hell out of himself.

Lan WangJi also saw Wei WuXian, who stood beside Jiang Cheng. The tip of his brows twitched ever so slightly. Soon afterward, his light-colored eyes returned to where they were, still looking forward in that composed way. Jiang Cheng and Nie MingJue nodded at each other with grave faces. Neither had anything unnecessary to say. After a hasty greeting, the two walked their separate ways. Wei WuXian saw his black-clothed self glance around as he finally saw Lan WangJi. He looked as if he was about to speak before Jiang Cheng came over and stood to his side.

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

They then proceed to talk about him and his lack of a sword behind his back, never having said a word to Wei Wuxian himself:

Nie MingJue’s gaze turned over again, “Why does Wei Ying not carry his sword?”

Carrying one’s sword was like wearing formal attire. In such gatherings, it was a non-negligible indication of etiquette. Those from prominent sects saw it as especially important. Lan WangJi responded in a lukewarm tone, “He had probably forgotten.”

Ning MingJue raised a brow, “He can even forget something like this?”

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

At Phoenix Mountain it also seems that Wei Wuxian is conditionally a member of the gentry, but not treated like an equal. Sometimes there are these more cheerful interactions:

Holding the flower, Lan WangJi seemed to be quite cold. His tone seemed cold as well, “Was it you?”

Wei WuXian immediately denied it, “No, it wasn’t.”

The maidens beside him spoke at once, “Don’t believe him. It was him!”

Wei WuXian, “How could you treat a good person like this? I’m getting angry!”

Giggling, the maidens pulled their reins and went to the formations of their own sects. Lan WangJi lowered the hand that he held the flower with and shook his head. Jiang Cheng spoke, “ZeWu-Jun, HanGuang-Jun, apologies. Don’t pay attention to him.”

Lan XiChen smiled, “That is fine. I will thank Young Master Wei’s kindness behind the flower in place of WangJi.”

(Chapter 69, Exiled Rebels translation)

But then he will be publicly disparaged and it is readily accepted by others. Jin Zixun first starts an argument with him by criticising Wei Wuxian for fighting Jin Zixuan, then turns the topic to Wei Wuxian’s having taken a third of the prey in the hunt.

Jin ZiXun, “Wei, just what what do you mean by going against ZiXuan so many times?”

[...]

Jin ZiXun sneered, “How is it presumptuous? How is any part of you not presumptuous? Today, in such an important hunt involving all of the sects, you really showed off your abilities, didn’t you? One third of the prey have been taken by you. You sure feel pleased, don’t you?”

[...]

He mocked, “But it’s only natural that you don’t think you’re in the wrong. It’s not the first time that Young Master Wei has disregarded the rules. You didn’t wear your sword in both last time’s flower banquet and this time’s hunt. It’s such a grand event, and you care nothing for courtesy. In what regard to you hold us, the people who are present with you?”

[...]

No disciple had ever dared say such lofty words in front of so many people. A moment later, as Jin ZiXun finally regained his composure, he yelled, “Wei WuXian! You’re only the son of a servant—how dare you be so bold!!!”

(Chapters 69-70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Naturally, Jin Zixun is able to weasel out of giving an apology, even though Jiang Yanli demands one. And guess who also takes a third of the prey, but this time without any censure?

Jin GuangYao, “In reality, not only did Young Master Wei keep a third of the prey to himself, our eldest brother has eliminated over half of the fays and the monsters as well.”

Hearing this, Lan XiChen laughed, “That is how Brother is like, after all.”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Never a Brother

As I’ve already mentioned, Wei Wuxian was never adopted by Jiang Fengmian, or adopted into the clan in general in even a distant way. And this nebulous ‘we’re letting you live with the main family as a charity, but you aren’t really one of us’ attitude also reflects in his relationship with Jiang Yanli.

I’ve already discussed how Wei Wuxian was more like a companion servant to Jiang Cheng than a brother. It’s also worth noting quickly that neither of them ever refers to the other as a brother. Wei Wuxian refers to Jiang Cheng as his shidi a few times, and Jiang Cheng never even refers to him as his shixiong (because Jiang Cheng views him as his servant, not as even a martial brother, I’d argue).

Only one member of the Jiang family ever does use familial terms to refer to Wei Wuxian: his shijie, Jiang Yanli. At Phoenix Mountain, when Wei Wuxian is being insulted by Jin Zixun, Jiang Yanli stands up and defends him, and states clearly that she considers Wei Wuxian a little brother:

The people who gathered around Jin ZiXun had on the same dark faces as he did. Yet, taking into consideration Jiang YanLi’s background, they didn’t dare talk back to her directly.

Jiang YanLi added, “Besides, hunting is hunting, so why bring the matter of discipline to the table? A-Xian is a disciple of the YunmengJiang Sect. He grew up with my brother and I, and so he’s as close as a brother is to me. Calling him the ‘son of a servant’—I’m sorry, but I won’t accept this. And thus…”

She straightened her back and raised her voice, “I hope that Young Master Jin ZiXun would apologize to Wei WuXian of the YunmengJiang Sect!”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

It doesn’t come through in the Exiled Rebels translation, but she actually refers to Wei Wuxian as her didi in this scene, not her shidi. She’s trying to draw a line and state that Wei Wuxian is a part of the family. However, no one takes her seriously, and shortly afterwards we see Jin-furen insisting that Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian shouldn’t be walking alone together because it would be inappropriate.

Jiang YanLi whispered, “That’s not necessary. I’d like to have a few words with A-Xian. He can walk me back.”

Madam Jin raised her brows, looking Wei WuXian up and down. Her gaze was somewhat cautious, as if she was feeling displeased, “A young man and a young woman—you two can’t stick together all the time if nobody else is present.”

Jiang YanLi, “A-Xian is my younger brother.”

[...]

Wei WuXian lowered his head, “Excuse my absence, Madam Jin.”

He and Jiang YanLi bowed at the same time. As they turned around to leave, Madam Jin grabbed Jiang YanLi’s hand and refused to let her leave.

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jin Zixuan also never treats Wei Wuxian the way one might a brother who is still angered with him over his past dismissive treatment of his sister. For example, see their argument at the Flower Banquet:

Before he could see how Lan WangJi reacted, a series of clamor suddenly came from the other end of the base. Wei WuXian heard his own raging shout, “Jin ZiXuan! Don’t you forget about what things you said and what things you did? What do you mean by this, now?!”

Wei WuXian remembered. So it was this time!

On the other side, Jin ZiXuan also fumed, “I was asking Sect Leader Jiang, not you! The one I was asking about was also Maiden Jiang. How is that related to you?!”

[...]

Jin ZiXuan, “Sect Leader Jiang—this is our sect’s flower banquet, and this is your sect’s person! Are you going to look after him or not?!”

[...]

...Jiang Cheng’s voice came, “Wei WuXian, you can just shut your mouth. Young Master Jin, I’m sorry. My sister is doing quite well. Thank you for your concern. We can talk about this next time.”

Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “Next time? There is no next time! Whether or not she’s doing well isn’t any of his business, either! Who does he think he is?”

He turned around and started to leave. Jiang Cheng shouted, “Get back here! Where are you going?”

Wei WuXian waved his hands, “Anywhere is fine! Just don’t let me see that face of his. I never wanted to come, anyway. You can deal with whatever’s here yourself.”

Having been abandoned by Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng’s face immediately clouded over.

[...]

Jiang Cheng stowed away the clouds on his face, “Don’t mind him. Look at how impolite he is. He’s used to such rude behavior at home.”

He then began to converse with Jin ZiXuan.

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng also quietly dismisses the notion of Wei Wuxian as a brother in relation to Jiang Yanli; when they visit to show him her wedding dress and she asks for a courtesy name, Jiang Cheng specifically says:

Jiang Cheng, “The courtesy name of my unborn nephew.”

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Not our nephew, mine.

Even the disastrous invitation to Jin Ling’s one month celebration is framed as a favour to an old shidi, not a family member:

Jin ZiXun, “Since you’ve heard it from him already, you should know that I can’t wait. Don’t tell me that you’ll disregard your brother’s life for the sake of Sister-in-Law’s shidi?!”

Jin ZiXuan, “You clearly know that I’m not that kind of person! He might not necessarily be the one who cursed you with Hundred Holes either. Why are you so rash? I was the one who invited Wei WuXian to A-Ling’s full-month celebration anyways. If this is the way you do things, where does that leave me? Where does it leave my wife?”

Jin ZiXun raised his voice, “It’s best if he doesn’t attend! What does Wei WuXian think he is—does he deserve to attend our sect’s banquet? Whoever touches him gets nothing but a splash of black! ZiXuan, when you invited him, weren’t you worried that you, Sister-in-Law and A-Ling would receive an irremovable stain for the rest of your lives?!”

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s clear that not only does wider society not consider Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs siblings...they themselves don’t, either. Wei Wuxian, after all, readily accepts that his relationship with them is over after he leaves the sect:

Before they parted, Jiang Cheng spoke, “We won’t see you off. It wouldn’t be good if someone saw us.”

Wei WuXian nodded. He understood that it wasn’t easy for the Jiang siblings to have come out here. If someone else saw them, all those things they did for the public to believe would be wasted. He spoke, “We’ll go first.”

[...]

He turned around, knowing that it’d be a long time before he’d get to see the people he was familiar with again.

But… right now, wasn’t he on his way to seeing people he was familiar with as well?

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Cast Aside

The way cultivation society treats Wei Wuxian when he is not with the Jiangs is also very revealing. Any level of respect he is given is contingent on his position in the Jiang household, and when they aren’t around that minimal respect fades away. Look at how disrespectfully he is treated when he approaches Jin Zixun to ask for Wen Ning’s location.

Wei WuXian didn’t make small talk either, getting straight to the point, “No thanks. I don’t.” He nodded slightly at Jin ZiXun, “Young Master Jin, could I please have a word with you?”

Jin ZiXun, “If you have anything to say, come after our banquet is over.”

In reality, he didn’t want to talk to Wei WuXian at all. Wei WuXian could see this as well, “How long do I have to wait?”

Jin ZiXun, “Probably around six to eight hours. Or maybe ten to twelve. Or until tomorrow.”

Wei WuXian, “I’m afraid I can’t wait for that long.”

Jin ZiXun’s voice was arrogant, “You’ll have to wait even if you can’t.”

Jin GuangYao, “Young Master Wei, what do you need ZiXun for? Is it a pressing matter?”

Wei WuXian, “Pressing indeed. It allows for no delay.”

[...]

Jin ZiXun, “Wei WuXian, what do you mean? You came for him? You aren’t standing up for a Wen-dog, are you?”

Wei WuXian wore a broad grin, “Since when is it your business whether I’d like to stand up for him or cut his head off? Just give him to me!”

At the last sentence, the grin on his face vanished. His tone turned cold as well. It was clear that he had lost his patience. Many of the people within Glamor Hal shivered in fear. Jin ZiXun felt his scalp tingle as well. Yet, his anger soon soared. He shouted, “Wei WuXian, you are too bold! Did the LanlingJin Sect invite you today? And you dare run wild here. Do you really think that you’re invincible, that nobody has the courage to confront you? Do you want to overturn the Heavens?”

Wei WuXian smiled, “You’re comparing yourself to the Heavens? Excuse my language, but your face is a little too thick, isn’t it?”

[...]

Just as he was about to rebut, sitting on the foremost seat, Jin GuangShan spoke up.

His voice seemed kind, “It’s not anything too important anyways. You youngsters, why lose your tempers over such a thing? However, Young Master Wei, let me be fair here. Barging in when the LanlingJin Sect is holding a private banquet is indeed inappropriate.”

To say that Jin GuangShan didn’t mind what happened at Phoenix Mountain would be impossible. This was also why he only smiled when Jin ZiXun bickered with Wei WuXian but didn’t stop them, and only spoke up when Jin ZiXun was at the disadvantage.

Wei WuXian nodded, “Sect Leader Jin, it was never my intention to disturb your private banquet. My apologies. However, the whereabouts of the people whom Young Master Jin took are still unclear. Just a moment of delay, and it might be too late. One of the group had once saved me before. I will definitely not sit back and watch. Please do not feel pressured. I will make amends for this at a later date.”

[...]

After a few laughs, he continued, “Sect Leader Jin, let me ask you something else. Do you think that, because the QishanWen Sect is gone, the LanlingJin Sect has all right to replace it?”

All was silent within Glamor Hall.

Wei WuXian added, “Everything has to be given to you? Everyone has to listen to you? Looking at how the LanlingJin Sect does things, I almost thought that it was the QishanWen Sect’s empire all over again.”

[...]

A guest cultivator on his right shouted, “Wei WuXian! Watch your words!”

Wei WuXian, “Did I say something wrong? Forcing living people to be bait and beating them up whenever they refused to obey—is this any different from what the QishanWen Sect does?”

Another guest cultivator stood up, “Of course it’s different. The Wen-dogs did all kinds of evil. To arrive at such an end is only karma for them. We only avenged a tooth for a tooth, letting them taste the fruit that they themselves had sown. What’s wrong with this?”

Wei WuXian, “Take revenge on the ones who bite you. Wen Ning’s branch doesn’t have much blood on their hands. Don’t tell me that you find them guilty by association?”

Another person spoke, “Young Master Wei, is it that they don’t have much blood on their hands just because you say so? These are only your one-sided words. Where’s the evidence?”

[...]

Jin GuangShan stood up as well, his face a mixture of shock, anger, fear, and hatred, “Wei WuXian! Just because… Sect Leader Jiang isn’t here doesn’t mean you can be so reckless!”

Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “Do you think that I wouldn’t be reckless if he were here? If I wanted to kill someone, who could stop me, and who would dare stop me?!”

[...]

“Young Master Wei really is too impulsive. How could he speak in such a way in front of so many sects?”

Lan WangJi spoke coldly, “Was he wrong?”

Jin GuangYao paused almost unnoticeably. He immediately laughed, “Haha. Yes, he’s right. But it’s because he’s right that he can’t say it in front of them, correct?”

Lan XiChen seemed as if he was deep in thought, “Young Master Wei’s heart really has changed.”

(Chapter 72, Exiled Rebels translation)

The only person at this banquet who speaks to Wei Wuxian respectfully is Jin Guangyao, a consummate manipulator who is also of a lower social status. Everyone else speaks to him dismissively, refusing to respect his request for Wen Ning’s location even though he states that Wen Ning helped him during the war. Wei Wuxian is extremely polite at the beginning of this conversation, and only slowly begins to lose his temper when Jin Zixun speaks rudely and Jin Guangshan decides to bring up the matter of the Yinhufu (Wei Wuxian is right in suspecting him of wanting to replace Qishan Wen, of course, and that it’s very bold of them to think they have the right to a spiritual tool of his just because...they’re rich?).

When the sects meet at Koi Tower to discuss the breakout at Qiongqi Path, no one considers Wei Wuxian as an independent agent who they might actually want to meet and negotiate with themselves. He is a wayward servant of Yunmeng Jiang who the sect leader has failed to keep in hand.

Jiang Cheng only spoke after a few moments, “What he did was indeed a bit too much. Sect Leader Jin, I apologize to you in place of him. If there’s any way at all to help the situation, please let me know. I’ll definitely compensate for things however I can.”

[...]

Jin GuangShan, “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei Ying is your right-hand man. You value him a lot. All of us know this. However, on the other hand, it’s hard to tell whether or not he actually respects you. In any case, I’ve been a sect leader for so many years and I’ve never seen the servant of any sect dare be so arrogant, so proud. Have you heard what they say outside? Things like how during the Sunshot Campaign the victories of the YunmengJiang Sect were all because of Wei WuXian alone—what nonsense!”

[...]

Lan WangJi sat with his back straight, speaking in a tone of absolute tranquility, “I did not hear Wei Ying say this. I did not hear him express the slightest disrespect towards Sect Leader Jiang either.”

[...]

The good thing was that, not long after he felt awkward, Jin GuangYao came to save the day, exclaiming, “Really? That day, Young Master Wei busted into Koi Tower with such force. He said too many things, one more shocking than the next. Perhaps he said a few things that were along those lines. I can’t remember them either.”

[...]

Jin GuangShan followed the transition, “That’s right. Anyhow, his attitude has always been arrogant.”

One of the sect leaders added, “To be honest, I’ve wanted to say this since a long time ago. Although Wei WuXian did a few things during the Sunshot Campaign, there are many guest cultivators who did more than him. I’ve never seen anyone as full of themselves as him. Excuse my bluntness, but he’s the son of a servant. How could the son of a servant be so arrogant?”

[...]

“In the beginning, Sect Leader Jin asked Wei Ying for the Tiger Seal with nothing but good intentions, worried that he wouldn’t be able to control it and lead to a disaster. He, however, used his own yardstick to measure another’s intents. Did he think that everyone is after his treasure? What a joke. In terms of treasures, is there any sect that doesn’t hold a few treasures?”

“I knew that something would eventually happen if he continued on the ghostly path—look! His killing intents are being revealed already. Killing indiscriminately those from our side just because of a few Wen-dogs…”

[...]

Jin GuangShan continued, “Sect Leader Jiang, you’re not like your father. It’s just been a couple of years since the reestablishment of the YunmengJiang Sect, precisely when you should be displaying your power. And he doesn’t even know to avoid suspicions. What would the Jiang Sect’s new disciples think if they saw him? Don’t tell me you’d let them see him as their role model and look down on you?”

He spoke one sentence after another, striking the iron while it was still hot. Jiang Cheng spoke slowly, “Sect Leader Jin, that’s enough. I’ll go to Burial Mound and deal with this.”

Jin GuangShan felt satisfied, speaking in a sincere tone, “That’s the spirit. Sect Leader Jiang, there are some things, some people that you shouldn’t put up with.”

(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)

This is very reminiscent of the way that Jin Zixuan would often turn around and say, ‘Why aren’t you controlling your servant?’ to Jiang Cheng whenever he had a dispute with Wei Wuxian over his treatment of Jiang Yanli.

When Jiang Cheng goes to the Burial Mounds and Wei Wuxian defects from Yunmeng Jiang in order to help the sect save face, Jiang Cheng treats this as a personal betrayal. He not only challenges Wei Wuxian to a duel but then announces that Wei Wuxian has betrayed Yunmeng Jiang and declared himself the enemy of cultivation society:

After the fight, Jiang Cheng told the outside that Wei WuXian defected from the sect and was an enemy to the entire cultivation world. The YunmengJiang Sect had already cast him out. From then on, no ties remained between them—a clear line was drawn. Henceforth, no matter what he did, they’d have nothing to do with the YunmengJiang Sect!

(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)

“Wei Wuxian has betrayed the sect, and publicly regards all cultivation sects as enemy! Yunmeng Jiang Sect hereby expels him, breaking all ties with him and drawing a clear line between us. Henceforth, no matter what this person does, it will have nothing to do with Yunmeng Jiang Sect!”

(Modao Zushi Radio Drama, Season 3 Episode 5, Suibian Subs)

Naturally, no one ever questions this or wants to hear Wei Wuxian’s side of the story. Jiang Cheng is a sect leader and Wei Wuxian his servant, and that is all cultivation society needs to know.

In Conclusion

Wei Wuxian was never really part of the Jiang family. The wider social view was that he was a servant who was lucky to be taken in by the family and allowed to live in the main house alongside the sect leader’s children. He’s accepted into cultivation society conditionally, but only as someone who remains a rank below everyone else.

This attitude isn’t just the wider social view which the family themselves disregard; they all play into it. Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Cheng both actively enforce it, Jiang Fengmian passively enforces it, and Jiang Yanli tries but fails to break through the social barriers between them.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #modao zushi

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