#he is just like my ugly pet cat irl

[foolishly-snowy]

i had some feelings about nitebear and had to draw about it

#nitebear #msm #i love him. btw #my art #my singing monsters #he is just like my ugly pet cat irl

[llovekami]

is it really you? / eren j.

synopsis: eren jaeger was the best and worst part of your life. your first love, first heartbreak; but what if when you move on, he comes right back and worse than ever?

content warnings: angst(?), smut, porn with plot, p in v, unprotected sex, hair pulling (on eren), biting, reader is gender neutral but afab and femininely dressed, toxic eren, implied cheating, pet names angel, sweets, pretty, possessive eren

a/n: never wrote for eren before. i love toxic men even though i'd probably kms if i fell for a toxic man irl.

eren jaeger was your worst nightmare. your first love on college campus, freshmen year. honestly, the red flags were there - he started flirting the first night you met despite him having his hand on your best friends hip not even a few moments ago before she shoo'd him off in your direction. even worse, it was a halloween party—it was bound to fail from the start. the flimsy material of the black dress you wore and the fake tail clipped to the back of it to make more of a dressy cat woman outfit. the little cat ears you wore reflected the flashing strobe lights of the room, the glitter etched into the black fake fur shining brightly.

he was eager, a real flirt—he had you fooled. if only you had discovered months prior of his scandals with other women, you would've brushed him off the same way your friend did. but when you ended up on your back that night, arched with sweat pooling down your body and the high of pure ecstasy rushing through your veins, you were hooked.

for the next 6 months, you were treated like the campus queen. "eren's never settled down so fast.." "what'd you do to him?" "what spell did you bewitch him with?"

numerous of your friends had warned you of what would happen. your heart would get broken and you'd ugly cry for days, just like you were known to do even over the slightest inconvenience or frustration from you, but you clung hope. eager to make it work, you gave it your all, yet to eren... your all hadn't been enough.

the countless night you had spent on your back or on your stomach with your head pushed into the pillow, in front of your mirror, spending hundreds on fancy lingerie for him to tear off and promise to buy more had all meant nothing. it wasn't that you were shocked when you found him in a room with another woman he told you not to worry about.

her grin haunts your nightmares, and the glint in his intoxicated eyes still made you sweat in your sleep—you moved to learn on, in peace, but it took you until your sophomore year to begin dating once more. it was a sweet, polite boy, someone who'd surely treat you right.

but somehow, eren lured you right back in with a couple of apologies and wet eyes. he always looked prettiest with those long wet lashes of his batting away tears, not that you'd ever mad him cry—but seeing him sniffle over your own crying still made your heart warm.

he pulled you away from the crowd, hiding in a private room and sitting you down on the bed. he said it was to "talk", to put the past behind you. if that was the case, why was his hand dragging up your thigh?

"eren, no touching—" you gasped quietly once he traced over that one barely ticklish spot on your inner upper thigh, watching the way his dimples formed once he smiled. "i still know your body like the back of my hand, angel. i always will." he whispered, letting his lips run along the soft of your neck. your date, the man you were planning on going right back to, waited for you patiently downstairs while your ex kissed on your skin.

"eren," you muttered desperately, brows furrowing as you pushed back slightly on his shoulders. you squirmed in his hold, the old feelings that you had so desperately pushed down resurfacing quickly. your fingers grasped a hold of his long dark brown hair, the same hair that you had tugged on so desperately months ago while he made home in between your thighs. he giggled against your skin, green eyes leaning in on you.

"too much, sweets? cant handle it? are you really satisfied with the fucker that brought you in here?" eren whispered, the words trailing into your ear and igniting a deep fire within you, "he knows you're still mine, angel. you don't blush the way you used to with me." he muttered, snaking the dress you wore upwards and around your waist, noting the way your panties clung to your body. his pinkie teased the lace of it, grinning just a bit.

he sunk to his knees slowly, spreading your thighs apart just slightly. a hunger took over the both of you, your entire body melting into his touch. parting your lips, you were so tempted to beg, eager to whimper his name and scream it to the top of your lungs without him even ghosting his fingers along your core. his teeth dug into the fat of your thighs, looking up to you as he sucked harshly against your skin.

barely a moment had passed before your clothes were eagerly tugged off and he pushed you on your back, taking in the dips and curves that he had foolishly taken for granted. he breathed in your scent and kissed the crook of your neck once more. after he had prepped and entered the same wet cavern that gripped him like a vice, it took his all not to cum right there and then—no words in the english lexicon could explain how desperately he missed this, more so, missed you.

"pussy s'perfect, dunno how i coulda' thrown this away, fuck," he muttered under his breath. the praise had your toes curling, the angle of which he had you in with your hips slightly upward and your ankles locked around his back, had you seeing the stars you never thought you'd see again. the overwhelming feeling of guilt chewed at you, tears prickling your eyes as you watched him enter and leave you with his thrusts.

it was easy to tell when eren was holding back, and now was that exact time. the usual rough pace that you grew accustomed to within the 6 months of dating was now replaced with something much lighter. it had you think, even just for a moment, if this was really eren. the gentleness in which he cradled you, his thumbs rubbing circles into your thighs as he marked you up from the crook of your neck to the valley of your breasts.

you dont know how many times you sobbed his name, nails digging into his back while sweat covered your bare bodies. "you're s'pretty, don't know why i didn't see that with you, ma," he muttered with a moan, "like that? yeah, felt you get a lil' tighter. fuck, keep clenchin' me like that an' i wont be able ta pull out." he groaned against your skin, and you sobbed, "missed you, 'ren, missed you s'much!" you called out desperately without a care in the world. the bass from the music outside still thumped against your heart, so being loud wasn't an issue.

he shuttered at the sound of your begging, and the gentle thrusts that he had started with growing more erratic. you moaned, the spongy spot inside you that he never had any trouble reaching now being abused. his thumb that had previously rested on your thigh now drew attention to your clit, dragging tight circles around it rapidly as if to bring you impossibly closer to the edge.

"eren," you cried, convulsing as your eyes rolled into the back of your head, "gonna cum, m'gon cum, 'ren!" you warned, waterline wet from tears that had shifted from guilt to those of pure overwhelming pleasure. "cum with me, pretty, you wan' cum? cum with me." eren pleaded with you, those jade eyes of his watching the way he disappeared into your hole.

with his encouragement, you reached and came to your peak. you twitched and arched your back higher and higher until you were struggling to breath, feeling the way eren stilled and helped you ride out your high while his own pent-up cum desperately spilled inside you, filing you to the brim as he moaned.

calming down, he grinned at you. "i'm so sorry i left you, angel," he cooed. he brushed your hair back, kissing your forehead while you stared up at him with the prettiest fucked-out expression he never got tired of. "missed this pretty pussy, missed that pretty little face of yours." he hummed, pulling out slowly with a shlick sound coming as he did. he pulled up his pants and ran out, fetching a wash cloth as he returned.

"promise i'll do better if you just give me a chance and drop that fucker you're talking to," he muttered, kissing the hickeys that lined your neck as you nodded drowsily, "you were always mine, pretty. you never stopped being mine."

divider by cafekitsune

#aot smut #attack on titan smut #attack on titan #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren aot #eren smut #eren jaeger x you #eren yaeger smut #tw.cheating #toxic eren

[jen-lee3]

So I love Resident Evil, and in particular Leon Kennedy because when I was like six or seven I watched my dad play Resident Evil 4 on the gamecube and went, I like this funny man. And now years later the remakes slammed me in the face now that I'm capable of complex thoughts. But none of my irl friends like Resident Evil to the point my best friend has stopped me mid conversation because I got really focused on it again. So I need people to talk to about Resident Evil, if not for my sake then my friends. So here are some random Leon headcanons/thoughts that I need to put somewhere. They're not completely original of course, but here.

These are pretty much all Remake Leon, because honestly I prefer him. He's got consistent characterization. Not that og Leon had much of a chance in that regard, there were a lot of writers and years and even consoles between each game, and I still love him. Remake Leon just gives me a chronic case of "i can fix him" disease.

He is a dog person, 100%. I think there's even art for either 2 or 1.5 of him with a bloodhound. But we knew this.

He can’t really have a pet, but if he could I think he’d inexplicably end up with a cat. He doesn’t know how this happened. It just did, and suddenly his phone is filled with pictures of this cat. Like a real ugly cat too.

I feel like he played soccer or baseball in high school. Gotta get look good for those college apps. Absolutely not foot ball.

I feel like he was well liked in high school and college. Not exactly popular, but if someone was planning a party and saw him walk by, shout out an invite to him, because he's just a nice guy.

Girls probably liked him being at parties because while he's bad at flirting, he is always ready to throw down with a creep, watch a drink, walk a girl home. Using his hero complex to enjoy a party without worry.

Leon listens to dad rock. This much is obvious. I’m using my parents for reference but they’re roughly about ten years older so there's differences. Def doesn’t listen to as much hair metal I think, but would probably get a kick out of steel panther still. 

So much nirvana though. So much.

That being said, nothing is funnier than the idea of his inner elevator music being Linkin Park. He kinda missed them, getting beat up by Krauser. But I can see Chris several years later grabbing a cd thinking Leon might like this. Leon doesn’t know when Chris found out his birthday to buy him this gift as he did not tell him. 

The visual of Leon zoning out and miserable with Numb playing just hits different okay. 

Also everyone has seemed to collectively decide he likes NIN, specifically Closer. Which yes totally see it for re4 Leon, but also hilarious. He was 17 when that song came out. Can you imagine, freshman year or college with a Leon that's even a few years younger than re2 Leon, taking a girl back to his dorm room, and putting on some music to try and set the mood or something, and that song pops on. “I wanna fuck you like an animal” Sir, you are a golden retriever of a man that song doesn’t suit you yet.

Leon’s arm with the bullet wound seems to have some issues. I’ve seen several people throw that idea around and it makes sense. We know it was hours before he got proper medical attention at the very least if not days. 

I also think he might have some slight tinnitus. Maybe just in one ear. Not enough that it would make him more vulnerable in a fight than his arm having issues. But the amount of explosions, getting thrown around, and even firing a gun. It wouldn’t be surprising.

I know that when he mentioned Wesker before he called him ‘Wesker’ like everyone else. But I think if they met, Leon would call him Albert cause it’s funny and he had no sense of self preservation. 

I think Leon has a weird thing about his neck. Like sure it's fun to joke about him getting choked, but he has actually been choked by a lot of monsters to the point it’s probably touchy for him. I genuinely don’t think he’d like getting choked. And even touching his neck gets him to flinch unless he trusts them.

I didn’t want to get into nsfw, but since there's literally a tag for this on AO3… yeah, Leon’s packing. At the very least, I think this because something has to give him the confidence to say all that stupid shit. Because I don’t think it’s just his fighting skill. 

Eye contact. The boy loves eye contact. If you manage to get in a conversation with him (and there's not zombies trying to kill you) he is keeping his focus and his gaze. And you know… eye contact in other situations too I guess…

He watched Buffy season 1, only got to watch exactly 2 episodes of Buffy season 2 before Racoon city. I looked up when the episodes aired. He didn’t even get to see the Angelus arc. He’ll never go back and watch until years later when streaming is a thing. 

Another idea I’ve seen more than once I agree with. His apartment is so impersonal. Man walked into Ikea, pointed at one of their display rooms and said yes. Which is what they did in The Room. Tommy Wiseau looked at a display window and went yes.

Loves blockbuster and other video rentals. He loves movies but it’s probably hard for him to have a collection, so he rents them. Though that's always risky if he gets called away. But what else is he gonna spend his money on, the late fees are barely an issue.

sapphire-weapon has a lot of good Leon headcanons but I like the one about him being a fantasy nerd in particular. Being a Neil Gaimon fan makes a lot of sense. Probably enjoys some Terry Prachet as well. Very picky about fantasy but I would just want to show him my weird puppet movies. Like come on, this one has David Bowie who doesn’t like David Bowie?

I recently was shown Escape from New York and I think Leon and Chris would somehow start talking about that movie and they’ll get really excited about it and that they both love it. Like lots of good Kurt Russel movies, but I don’t think The Thing or Big Trouble in Little China gets the same results from those two.

He’s probably not Italian. If he is, it's probably too far back to matter or at the closest a grandparent they don’t really talk too. I would buy Scottish or Irish relatives closer than Italian. He is a white guy in America so he is probably a mix from several European countries but again, too far back to matter or really affect him culturally. He’s just American. Take this from someone who is of Italian descent, (my dad’s grandparents moved to Canada from Italy) and while I’m only a quarter Italian and actually have very similar colouring to Leon (pale, blue eyes, blonde) my family is still very Italian. So I feel like I can be a pretty good point of reference here.

Also the mafia background. Y’all saw one concept artist say he was Italian, and then that mock interview back in the day said his parents died in a “heinous crime” and decided it was mafia related, which hey. But idk, he seems too plucky in re2r. I feel like he’d be more disillusioned with the police force if something like that happened. I mean that is applying realism to Resident Evil which as we all know is a very grounded and realistic horror game, but regardless, he’s not mafia. Mafia princess Leon is hilarious, but just as a fun au.

But eerizon mama’s boy video tho? Makes me want to rip my phone in half (affectionate)

Probably raised catholic. He’s got a couple lines about religion and by merit of being a white guy in America, def christian family. Now y’all in the states have like a million different versions, start throwing directions into it too, so I really only know catholic. And also, Sister Michael of Derry Girls comes to me saying “I do love a good statue it must be said” and she’s right. 

I wish there was more fan art of Leon with Catholic aesthetics because they're so good. Martyr Leon, Saint Leon. the possibilities. God I wish I could draw.

As for shipping, I’ll ship Leon with just about anyone.

Leon and Ashley are my personal favourite, I just think it’s adorable and knight/prince/ss relationships make me feral. 

Chris and Leon are fun because grumpy old men romance!

Luis and Leon are really fun because Leon looks like scary dog privilege but I like the idea Luis is the dangerous one. He may or may not have been involved with Nemesis. Pissing off Leon is bad, but pissing off his boyfriend? Rip. 

Leon and Ada are toxic and fun. I don’t understand the sentiment of, oh it’s not manipulative or unhealthy. Yes it is, that's why it’s sexy. I support women’s wrongs.

Leon and Claire are wild, something ends up on fire at the end of all their dates.

Leon and Krauser… okay maybe I don’t ship them. OG Leon? Sure, they’re more equals. Remake Leon? Krauser I’ll kill you.

In my head I refer to him as blonde because I first saw him in OG re4, but he's really more of a brunette huh. It also varies even in that regard (looking at you vendetta). Kinda like Link. Various between shades of blonde and brown with one random ginger/pink thrown in due to tech constraints.

Anyways, I have more thoughts but this was already waaaay too long. Please talk to me about Resident Evil my bestie can’t take it anymore.

#Resident Evil #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #pls i need re mutuals #my friend is going to kill me if i dont stop #leon my favourite idiot

[kbius6]

Ranking my favorite IkeVamp guys because I'm bored and felt like it lol.

Was just gonna rank them and put what I like about them and stuff but ended up adding extra headcannon-y(?) stuff(like stuff I'd show some of them from the future lol(ADHD strikes again 🤦‍♀️) Im not changing it. Enjoy my rambling lol, or you can ignore it and just look at the pictures, your choice 😂

Im using the pet cards because they're my favorites 🖤🖤🖤

1. Charles. He is an absolutely precious baby. He made me cry. So damn much. I hate that I understand how he feels 😔 just wanting love. I just wanna hug him and comfort him and tell him how much I love him. He's so sweet, and SO kind, he deserves to be happy and loved. Imma make him watch Fruits Basket with me and listen to my favorite bands, that always makes me feel less lonely so maybe it'd help him too 🖤

Fuck it, why not rate the pets too lol.

Louis 9/10 adorable, wants attention, basically a palm sized fluffy Charles lol.

2. Dazai. Apparently the more they make me cry the more I like them 🤷‍♀️ there's just something lovable about him. He's another one I can't help but relate a lot to, and like with Charles I would 110% be showing him my favorite music, maybe it'd make him realize he's not the only one that feels like he does. Also curious what his reaction to Bungo Stray Dogs would be...hmm

Bunta 6/10 cute little bird.

3. Leonardo. This motherfucker...where to begin 😂 he like naps. I like naps. His room's a cluttered wreack. My room's a cluttered wreck. He has a black cat. I have 2 black cats. He has hobbies in basically everything. I end up with new hobbies monthly(yay ADHD) and in his route he takes the MC on a freaking boat ride. Which made me think of the most romantic scene ever(imo) from Tangled(my favorite Disney movie(which I will make him watch) and I would quite literally implode if someone ever did that with me irl. Also I love Italian food and I bet he can cook 🤤

Lumiere 10/10 I am completely biased, black cats are the best cats 🖤🖤🖤

4. Mozart. He was the first route I decided to read. Music was quite literally my first love and I actually enjoy listening to classical music, so he was a no brainer to start with. And stupidly I have a soft spot for tsunderes lol. I have the horrible urge to show him the weirdest stuff from my music playlists just to watch his head explode trying to comprhend how anyone could actually like such things 😂 also think it'd just be fun to show him how much music changes through decades and such. And Imma be nice and show him the soundtrack from Violet Evergarden(it's soooooo pretty) and Final Fantasy XV(and probably some of the other games too)

Schelm 6/10 another bird. Im not a big fan of birds but this one looks like Hedwig 🖤

5. Jean. Again, I like the tramatized ones 🤷‍♀️ I think it's adorable how innocent he actually is. Cherie is adorable, I would gladly be mauled trying to hug her(think the one scene from Black Butler, that's me) 😂 why Comte let Jean keep a freaking TIGER is beyond me but sure, okay. I would LOVE to introduce him to Disney movies(even if there's really only a few I truly love), I just feel like he'd enjoy them 🤷‍♀️ especially wanna show him Lilo & Stitch(I mean, he was reading the Ugly Duckling and that sends my brain straight to that movie okay)

Cherie 9/10 big baby kitty!!! 🖤🖤🖤

6. Vincent. Precious angel. 💛 AND HE HAS A PET RACOON. Granted being that happy all the time isn't healthy(If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game-show host.) but he's a sweetheart and like Theo if anyone even looked at him funny I'd be yelling ever swear I know at them 😁 I already had an interest in him before I decided to download IkeVamp, I particularlly like his older paintings and eventually want a copy of his flying fox for my living room. He'd be so much fun to do arts and crafts with 💛💛💛

Brush 10/10 he's so freaking cute and the way Vincent came up with his name is adorable and never fails to make me laugh. I wish I could have a pet racoon.

7. Isaac. Another precious baby. I just wanna tell Arthur and Dazai off everytime they mess with him lol. He'd be fun to just hang out with, but with how awkward and anxious we both are(and tbh he reads as probably Autistic to me 🤷‍♀️ I might just be projecting(then again all of them have SOMETHING if we're being honest 🤷‍♀️) it probably wouldn't happen often ☹️ I hate math, but I will gladly sit and let him ramble on about it for hours because it's clear just how much he loves it. I wonder what his reaction to us landing on the moon would be. I bet he'd enjoy watching How It's Made.

Harry 8/10 he's small and spiky and so cute 🥰

8. Arthur. I hate him. But I can't deny he is stupidly charming at the same time. 🙄 but I sure as hell wouldn't be telling him that. Deep down he's an okay guy. Just a horny idiot lol. I've always liked mystery/detective stuff(I blame being raised on Scooby Doo) so I could see us bonding over that. I will be showing him bbc's Sherlock and nobody can stop me. Also I feel like he's the type that would enjoy video games 🤷‍♀️ so that could be fun

Vic 7/10 Im personally more of a cat person but I love Charles spaniels, they're just so pretty

9. Faust. He annoys the crap out of me, but in an slightly enjoyable way? If that makes sense? Lol. I feel like we'd probably be constantly seeing who could annoy the other more 😂

Mephi 7/10 absolutely adorable, but I don't like the idea of him snatching my things, I lose things enough on my own 😂

10. Theo. Another one that annoys me. I like him, and his love for his brother, while sometimes a bit too intense is endearing, I just cannot stand all the "teasing" he does. But overall he's fine. Kinda intimidating(I am easily intimidated lol) but his heart's in the right place. I bet he'd probably cry seeing how much people love his brother's art nowadays. I think it'd be cool to take him to one of those interactive art exhibts(I went to a Vincent one and it was so cool)

King 8/10 BIG PUPPER 🖤🖤🖤 the bigger the dog the more I love them and golden retrivers are just so lovable

11. Napoleon. Honestly, he just feels like the big brother type 🤷‍♀️ dk what else there really is to say lol. I would 1000% beg him to teach me sword fighting because it looks fun.

Jupiter 3/10 I have a fear of most birds that are bigger than a fist. I like where he got the name though.

12. Shakespeare. He reminds me of Loki tbh, so it's odd he'd be this low on the list but honestly, he gets on my nerves sometimes. And I always have to Google words whenever he shows up 😂 I feel like we could probably get along okay. I do have a love for drama...I'd love to expose him to musicals(I think he'd like Les Mis) and horror movies, he'd probably enjoy those too.

Puck 7/10 fluffy bunny, so cute

13. Comte. Just not really my type. I literally dk what else to say about this one. Uhm.....🤷‍♀️ he's obviously a really nice guy, sadly I like them less mentally stable than him though 🤦‍♀️ I just don't think we really have any common interest or anything 🤷‍♀️ apart from him being a vampire, I'd love to grill him for as much info as possible lol

Time 8/10 basically a long rat(I love rats) another little theif lol

14. Sebastian. I mean...he's cool I guess, but when you compare him to everyone else...🤷‍♀️ he'd defiently be fun to be friends with though. Keeping a book of things he learns while stalking observing the residents reminds me of when I used to like a certain boyband as a kid 😂 fun fact, I have a grey cat named Sebastian. And he WASN'T named after Seb from Black Butler...unlike somebody else 😂

Fraulien 8/10 cute but not exactly a favorite animal of mine 🤷‍♀️ she would still be getting cuddles though.

15. Vlad. He knows what he did to deserve being dead last 😡 He was higher up but then all the bullshit went down in Charles route and now he sucks 😤 should have known better than to trust someone who loves strawberries as much as he does(Im allergic) lol. Positives, I love his garden. And his taste in decor is just gorgeous. Im sure after I get over all the crap from Charles route we could get along okay 🤷‍♀️

Marshmello 9/10 so damn fluffy and beautiful 🤍 100% would try to steal him from Vlad to keep as my own lol. Foxes are cool.

All of them have their good and bad traits, this is just MY personal opinion. I don't really dislike any of them tbh, even if it kinda comes across that way from what I've put(even Vlad lol, Im just gonna be bitter for a good while). Feel free to add you own rankings.

In conclusion, IDK why I made this post lol. My hyperfixation took over I guess and I wanted to ramble 🤷‍♀️

#ikevamp

[yuukei-yikes]

do you have any headcanons about harutaka's cat(s)?

i think they have 1 spoiled as hell cat and my only supporting reason for it is haruka falling in the fountain. listen if ur gonna introduce a character thru "he fell in the fountain bc he was so determined to pet a cat" i am GONNA give him a cat.

i think harukas dreams in life are 1. not die 2. have cat and when she's settled in with takane post str hes like moaning and sobbing about how much he loves cats and takanes like then lets get one lol we can afford it and harukas brain rewires like Holy shit i am an adult with my own place I CAN GET A CAT???? and its Awesome

i think. cat is subject to his paintings for a long time. i think their place has paintings of the cat bc haruka keeps painting it. i think thatd be funny. i also think hiyori visits a lot to see the cat and also bc she and haruka have a sibling thing going on (both feel responsible for konoha being gone sry i got so many feelings abt this)

as for takane i thought maybe she'd be like Dads and the pet they said they didnt want but no wayyyyy like shes ene... they fucking love that thang. takane and cat having same personality and harukas like Wow when one hisses at me i can just go cuddle with the other this is awesome

i also think kano has like 5 cats though and the number keeps growing. i love kano just being a cat lady. seto is always fostering dogs plus is always hanging out with animals. mary has a service dog. shintaro has his bunny and continues raising bunnies. what i am trying to say the pics of the dan gc are awesome.

hibiya complains about all the cat pictures 1 time and gets hated so bad he has to beg on his knees to be added back to the gc 💔 as for kidomomo i think kido would want a cat but momo is into small ugly dogs and they fight abt it. thoughts??? wait this was a harutaka ask.

um They have a cat idk man i think they treat it like an actual kid. id say haruka and takane never have kids bc Have you seen them but also ratio + konoha reborn as their kid BEST headcanon the fandom ever came up with like OUGGHHKONOHA GETTING AN ACTUAL CHANCE AT A NORMAL LIFE OUGGHH srry the way its always compared to a kid gets me man... and konoha as an actual silly kid... sniff sniff also i think older dan spmehow finding out its konoha irl for reals is so hilarious to me. like how did you even DO that. shintaro kinda knowing bc of past timelines rubbing his hands together like The reveal never gets old. a lotta ppl have designed kid konoha but i wanna make my own too and give it so much nonbinary epicness (holds head) wait why am i talking abt this. oh yeah i had a point harutaka projecting all their insecurities of omg we will never have kids lol!!!! *put cat in crib* anyway spoiled as hell cat.

sorry i kinda talked about 1 million things but whatever haruka and takane have a spoiled cat and its awesome

#harutaka #headcanons #ask tag #sry i kinda lost my mind bc im delusional

[thecyrulik]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @ceph-the-ghost-writer! Trying to get back to being more active here. One day I will write a chapter of one of my stories, I swear.

Let's start!

1. Are you named after anyone? Ostensibly not! My parents had a Talk TM before I was born and they both decided that I should not be named after anyone, to make my life my own etc. They found a name that hadn't appeared on either side of my family till that day. And then my aunt named her child the same name 🙃

2. When was the last time you cried? Sad Moment TM - it was my grandma's funeral last year (the exact anniversary is due in a couple of days), and before that, my other grandma's funeral a couple of years back. I'm not a big crier, though I sometimes wish I were. Lets feelings out.

3. Do you have kids? No, but I'm cool with having them one day, with the right person to raise them with. Love the fact that those funky creatures turn into actual taxpayers with careers one day.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? not really. In text - perhaps. With people I know well - yes. Generally no, I'm not that kind of a joker. In fact, I am a little dull IRL.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? How they react to other people, I think. Their relations with coworkers, how they talk to customers, people above and below them in the company hierarchy etc. I love analyzing that too. I also adore trying to figure out where they're from based on their vocab/accent.

6. What’s your eye color? Greyish blue. The dullest colour there is, though one person (very dear to me) called it "like winter sky on a frosty morning". Not cool enough to be "steel eyes", not blue enough to be compared to aquatic formations. There's no such thing as ugly eye colour though, and mine isn't either.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Def both. Scary with a happy ending. I'm not a fan of jump scares but I think characters have to fight (and sometimes suffer) for their happy ending sometimes.

8. Any special talents? Hah. what does "special" mean? I'm stubborn in all the wrong ways and it makes me end up in some odd situations. I am rarely lost and read maps very well, and if you give me a simple task that needs to be repeated 1000 times, I'll happily do it without getting bored. I will just imagine my blorbos suffering during that time, so any negative moodlets cannot affect me.

9. Where were you born? Poland! In a small town I've only ever been to twice in my life, including my birth! The local hospital used to have a wonderful maternity ward and all, so my parents went there every time they had a baby on the way.

10. What are your hobbies? I write and I read, I find out weird stuff on the internet. I like crafts like stitching and knitting, I make my own beer, cider and fruit liquers, and work in the garden a lot! Oh, and I love languages an awful lot.

11. Have you any pets? I have two cats that live with my parents now - one of them is an idiot and also quarter European wildcat - he has 2 braincells only. The other one is his domestic cat momma, a black demoness that loves staying in the shadows and attacking you when you step on her (she doesn't have a non-black hair on her body so you can imagine she is stepped on quite often).

12. What sports do you play/have played? Used to be into handball in high school. Right now I mostly swim, usually when I have to think about stuff. I can't listen to my music in the swimming pool so I'm forced to listen to y thoughts. Other than that, I juggle! And it's fun and satisfying and you can make your own juggling balls with balloons and sand/rice!

13. How tall are you? 164 cm. Not great, not terrible. I get +2 in sneaking though, and exploring basements, mines and medieval castles is generally safe for me, at least when it comes to bumping your head on low door frames.

14. Favorite subject in school? Foreign languages and biology. I also enjoyed maths a lot, but I had good teachers all the way. In uni - history of Greece, pharmaceutical botany, infectious diseases and ethics.

15. Dream job? Coming up with new blorbos to torment and put in Situations TM and talking about them. Since I have no discipline to be a full-time writer, my current job is a very nice second-best option.

Tagging @whumpsday @kim-poce @whump-cravings @andordean @hold-him-down @whumpy-writings! feel free to ignore any questions that feel too private for you, and swap them with a fun fact about one of your OC!

#tag game

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #456

“i don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger, & that feels so rough”

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? I know at LEAST over an hour. I was in agony. What type of TV shows are your favourite? Animal docs. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Bitch I still am lmao. Do you know anyone who has died in battle? No. When was the last time you went on an adventure? Bro, I could NOT tell you. I haven't had one of those in what feels like eons. What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Are you good at rapping? Never tried, but I'm sure I'd be awful. I stutter too much. Name one world issue that upsets you. Just ONE????????? Well, I can name homelessness as very high on the list. How do you feel about tanning? I hate it. I can't stand the heat, so why would I deliberately go bake in it? Have you ever given a public speech? Yeah, in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade when I was innnn... one of those grades, idr which. It was for my D.A.R.E. essay. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? NOOOOOOOOOOO I'm way too awkward. Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Bro who tf kisses with their eyes open, that shit is creepy. Do you believe you can change someone? No. One can only change themselves. How did you react when your first pet died? I have no memory of our first pet. Have you ever drawn anime? No. Can you use a pogo stick? When I was a kid, I became a MASTER. I got one for I want to say Christmas and I was obsessed. When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like? Idk, first he needs to get on Facebook and see I messaged him alsdkfjalkdj. He like never gets on there. Do you like bathing/showering? No. One, it's a chore, and two, it's actually painful for me, standing up so long and propping my legs up and stuff like that to clean myself properly. Have you ever considered entering a race? HEEEEEEEEEEELL no. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Probably Gaga, idk. Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I actually kinda want a TV now? What do you take the most pictures of? Flowers. What are you always in the mood for? Lately, Krispy Kreme donuts, lol. I haven't had one in a very long time, but goddamn does a hot glazed donut sound BANGIN' right now and has for days. What is something that you never turn down? Hm... how am I blanking??? What is something that you always turn down when offered? Certain foods or drinks, like tea. Name something sexy about your significant other. I don't have one'a those. What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Um, idk. As interests work, I may move away from any hobby eventually. If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance. If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? Violin. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? A mortician. That job doesn't even seem all that bad to me? I think it'd be kinda chill somehow???? I could NEVER be a surgeon. I'd be terrified of fucking something up. Have you ever been on a subway? No. Are you in love? No. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? *eyes emoji* Do you want to get married when you’re older? Yes. What was the last band shirt you wore? PROBABLY my Metallica shirt? But I'm unsure, ultimately. You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? Ugh, I've been wanting a nice chocolate milkshake for a while. Have you ever given someone flowers? For Mother's Day one year, I collected some wildflowers to put in a jar for Mom. I've also given Jason roses before. I really wanted to give Sara some when I surprised her for her birthday, but I didn't want to ask her parents to drive me somewhere where I could buy her some, ha ha. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? None. My days are all the same. Do you have any concerts coming up? No, but UGH, I was so hyped a few days ago because I saw Motionless In White was going on tour next year, but of course they're going to the big city on the OTHER end of the state versus the capital, which I'm way closer to. -_- Bands ALWAYS choose Charlotte on the super rare occasion they come to NC... Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ugh, I hate it. What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos, maybe? Between Mountain Dew and those... I am such a fucking gamer stereotype lmfao. Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? I think I had to before in school? Idr. Do you like pineapple? Love it. Does your house have a dishwasher? Yes. A dishwasher is one thing I MUST have in my own future house. I cannot stand touching dirty dishes. Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? Oh, absolutely. Sunflower tattoos are especially popular around here. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and uhhh Spanish? Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. I don't mind them. I've never understood the hate, honestly? I think he's capable of being funny. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Only by myself when I was a kid losing my baby teeth. Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? Nooooo. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? Fuck no, I hate it. What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? I don't like those. Do you get cold easily? No, but I get hot extremely easily. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? I don't think so, no. Do you admire nature? I positively adore nature. If only we treated it better... Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Done sexual things in places I probably shouldn't have, oops. Name two of your favorite things as a child. Pokemon and Webkinz. Do you own a Pillow Pet? No. They're cute, though. My niece has one. Do you tend to solve problems with violence? Absolutely not. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you know a hoarder? Yes. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I just leave 'em be, honestly. Do you have any interesting scar stories? Not really. Do you hate the texture of meatballs? No, I love me some meatballs. Do you get migraines? Very, very rarely. They fucking suck. Do you like guns? NOOOOOOO guns terrify me alsd;kjfal;sdjfk Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') How much time do you spend taking surveys? A whole lot. It's just that I'm like... always bored and the randomness of surveys can add interesting little flares to the day, I guess. Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, for sure. Would you like to work at a candy shop? No. I don't want to work directly with people. Do you have feelings for someone? It's funny; now that I've settled the extreme indecision, I've come to realize that they're very strong feelings. How you go from being indecisive to really, really liking somebody, hell if I know. Which one of your guy friends is the best looking? Uhhh Girt is like my only real guy friend, so I guess it's by default him, ha ha. I'm not particularly attracted to him, but he's not ugly by any means. Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf? I'm so sorry. Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? Either Ozzy or Metallica. Most likely Ozzy, though. Which song describes your mood at the moment? Hm. I dunno. Which movie(s) do you quote the most? None, really. Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date? None; we don't share irl friends, being many states apart, and not even that many online ones. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? I don't have my own car. Which one of your friends will be the most successful? I'm not psychic. What store did you last shop at? Mom and I picked up a Wal-Mart order the other day. Do you think telepathy is real? Absolutely not. When did you last draw something for fun? A few days ago, I started a drawing of Maieykio for Sara. Who makes the most in your entire family? I have no idea. Do you like writing essays? I don't mind, if the topic interests me. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? Nah. Well, I think you can take it to an visual extreme, but that's just my opinion. Do what makes you comfortable in your own body. Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It's picked up. When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands? The inside of my elbow. Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? It usually happened at night. Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? Haven't taken it yet. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? OH MY GOD NEITHER Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: No one, really? Well, unless you count my change of feelings for Girt, but it's just that: a type of change. I've loved him platonically since high school, and it's like, I feel the same for him, just in a romantic way now? Does your car have a sunroof? No. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? My mom. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope, not how I roll. Who’s the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Unless you count my cat. Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook? Former teachers, yes. I feel kinda bad for 'em now... They're all the sweetest, God-fearing people, and then there's my outspoken (online) and liberal ass sharing shit that's gotta disappoint them now lmaoooo.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''somebody that i used to know'' by gotye

[khorren]

THE ACNH TAG

 ty @morgrenth​ for the ding <3

— Personal

  Is it your first Animal Crossing game? Nope. I played the one on the Gamecube, New Leaf, Pocket Camp, and now New Horizons!

   Do you listen to the game music or put some of your own? Usually have the game music on! Not often very loud, just enough for some ambient background noise.

   What are your 8 reactions?

The ?, the !, clappy hands, glee, doze, and the other 3 i change around a lot. I’m missing so many. Want more!

   Do you use them a lot? For photo ops with villagers and around friends, sure!

   How many rooms do you have in your house? All 6 of them!

   What are they? (Kitchen, bedroom, etc) Main room is just a collection of stuff that I like, some tables and chairs, and then some useful things like mirror, crafting bench, switch, and some trinkets from in-game mom. My top room and right-side room are currently just holding items for a friend. She's planning on restarting her game, but some items she didn't want to lose. So it's just a junk graveyard right now. The right side room was initially a craft room with sewing machines and stuff, and then the bottom bit was the fathers day mug, some tea, and a set of golf clubs. It was going to be a little room dedicated to my irl mum and dad. But yeah. It's holding junk right now. Left side room is a sort of bathroom. Upstairs is a bedroom/study. Also pet cat room. Has cat food, cat tower, cat nip, kitty litter, etc. And a paper tiger acting as the cat.

   What’s the main purpose of your storage? To hold all the crap I might need one day.

   Do you time travel? Why?Nah. I have plenty to do in game each day, I don't need to leap ahead. Even now when I'm making cat-town, it sure would be quicker to skip ahead, but the 3 days gives me time to do other things. I'll get there in the end.

   Do you have a list of dreamies? I hate this phrase. :D

I am currently working on my all cat village (plus the wolf, Skye, cos she's a sweetie and I can't get rid of her), and I'm moving in a lot of my favourite cats / villagers in general. But there are definitely villagers I like more from other species. I've never really sat down and looked at all billion villagers to decide my ultimate favourites. There are lots of cute bunnies out there. Who knows, maybe 3 months down the line I'll make a bunny village. Since it's taking me like 3 weeks to move in all the cats, I want them stuck around for a while.

— Island    What’s the meaning of your island name? Haven! Haven is one of the key locations in a story I've been "writing" for the past 20 years. It tends to be my go-to place of things to name in games where I build a settlement.

   A picture of your island before vs now?

   Do you have all the fruits? I do! Nom nom.

   Do you have all kind of trees? It's mostly fruit trees, and I have about 6 normal trees, and about 3 or 4 cedars. Although I've not had to shake my fruit trees for money for a while now, I like that the option's there. I have just enough non-fruit trees for furniture and wasp needs.

   Do you have bushes? Which is your favorite? A few, but I don't think I have them all. A few of the currently flowering ones, but mostly out of season ones. They make cute borders.

   What flower is the most prominent? Tulips are probably the most prominent in my village.

   Which flower is your favorite? And what color? I love the hyacinths. The orangey ones are my favourite, but I like blue too. I think I only have like 2 blues though.

— NPCs

   Do you commission Flick? Have had one thing made by him in the past. I should do more now that I don't really need the money. But honestly I haven't seen Flick in forever, and the days I do see him, I'm busy doing something else.

   Do you interact a lot with your villagers? Yep! I try to talk to all of them each day, but I'm sure I miss a couple, especially if they're hiding in bum-fuck egypt. I miss the Megaphone from ACNL :(

   What kind of gifts do you give them? If I've got some junk lying around, they'll get that. I totally gift back ugly clothes. Every few days I'll gift some of them a wrapped ironwood clock. They seem to like that.

   Favorite & least favorite personality? Normal and Peppy are my faves. Jock probably my least fave.

   Which visiting NPC is your favorite? Probably Flick. I like catching bugs, it's pretty chill.

   Which is your least favorite? Redd. BECAUSE HE NEVER COMES HERE. I WANT MY ART YOU SHIT.

   Do you always help Wisp? Yes <3 Love that little goober.

— Random

   Do you buy or craft tools? Bit of both? If I'm lazy, I'll just go to the shops. If I'm stocking up on something then I'll craft. I need to make a bunch of nets for the bug-off in a few days! :D

   Do you have any gold tools? Recently got the recipe for the gold watering can. But since it still breaks, eh, I'll just stick to my tier 2 can.

   Do you recover a hole with your feet or the shovel? I try to just use my feet, but if it's in the middle of other flowers I'll use the shovel for precision, so I don't accidentally pluck a flower.

   Do you buy fake paintings/statues? I WOULD IF REDD CAME TO MY ISLAND. I'll generally buy the real ones, but if there's a fake I really like I'll nab it for myself.

   Do you buy a lot of clothes? Yas!

   Do you buy a lot of wallpapers/floors/carpets? I do, but there's so few I end up liking :( I'll buy the fancy stuff from Saharah when I see them, but all I've been getting recently is gross floors and the goddamn lava/volcano wall.

#ACNH #Animal Crossing #Animal Crossing New Horizons

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? yes

Are you in a good mood right now? r u serious?...

Is there anyone who you think you deserve an apology from? I won’t get any

Are you talking to anyone right now? my gf online and my mom irl

Did you buy anything today? I didn’t

Were you happy when you woke up this morning? I wasn’t

When was the last time you cried really hard? today, it wasn’t the hardest tho

When did you last hug someone? Who was it? this day as well, parent

How’s life going for you? no comment

Has something someone said today annoyed you? that’s normal Can you hear the crickets chirping at night? sadly not Do you like listening to new music, or just sticking to your favorites? depends on the new song - if it’s good then I like it as much as my old favs

When was the last time you were bitten by a bug? this summer has the worst mosquitos ever Do you have a pair of sunglasses that are worth over $200? I'm not rich, mine aren’t more expensive than 25 PLN  Are you brave when it comes to trying new foods? ...  When was the last time you saw your significant other? weeks ago, not counting video chatting Are you ashamed of your singing voice? I’m aware I have no talent so... Have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language? also animal languages and been talking to plants etc. Do you have anything important to do tomorrow? hospital Are you a fan of retro things? prefer vintage, antiques, shabby - retro is fake but at times there are some good enough pieces as well  Would you be considered to be knowledgeable about World War 2? I mistake WWI for WWII and vice versa If you’re with someone right now, do you think it will last? don’t feed my paranoia Have you heard of the Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers? oooh that’s the one Do you have something to do, that you would rather not do? tomorrow Are you, in any way, feeling hopeless right now? absolutely Do you know who you’re planning to ask to your prom? I wanted to ask my current gf back in the day but my mom didn’t let me and I didn’t go because only me and K. didn’t have a date so we preffered to stay home When was the last time you went shopping? yesterday What’s the limit on how much you would pay for a shirt? 60 PLN but I cry when I pay 30 PLN, luckily I have like 3 shirts that are about 30 PLN Do you like making funny faces in pictures? better to be funny than ugly, right? Is there something you look back on and go “I can’t believe I did that”? regrets Are you good at offering advice? but not following them  What was the last thing to confuse you? confused is my second name  Are you a fan of Keira Knightley? she’s not that good Have you ever resorted to alcohol to make you feel better? it doesn’t make anything better Have you heard about Mel Gibson’s rant/freakout? he was such a good actor, such a shame he’s not a good person  Do you wish your bedroom was bigger? I wish I had my own apartment Have you ever felt like a “new person”? I had my moments that were ruined right after  Do you own any expensive jewelry? I sold the only necklace that was worth something  Has there been someone in your life that just wouldn’t leave you alone? stalkers Do you hate to use public bathrooms? there are way worse things than public bathrooms, even when they’re covered in blood, poop, pee and vomit (but puke is least bearable from all four)

Are there any writing utensils close to you? I packed bunch of them 

What was the last thing that shocked you? brain, remind me what was last... How many other rooms can you currently see into? hall Do you need to take the trash out? done Do you need to clean your room right now? soon Do you need to clean out a litter box right now? my cat’s gone Are these questions reminding you of things you put off to do this survey? there’s washing my head on my list for this evening - nothing more  How many days have you been wearing those clothes? gimme a break!

Can you move your nose? yasss

Have you ever done a craft that you found on Pinterest? sew teddy and a cat from socks for example but I’m not fond of DIY in general Are you content with mystery, or do you wish you knew everything? knowledge is power

What’s one thing that makes your stomach hurt? what doesn’t?... Ever had a living nightmare? my life is a nightmare

Do you think successful people always come with a pack of haters? successful or not - haters are everywhere Do you wish you could be a world traveler? travelling ain’t my hobby Do you wish you could live in another city for a year? Ełk If you had kids, would you take them to Disney World? if I had money and they wanted to go and it wasn’t that far away from home and they were angels and they were old enough... Have you ever stood in line to get a Disney character’s autograph? wouldn’t bother, pics are better How long does it usually take your hair to dry?  so short yet dry slowly Is your Pinterest page cluttered? it’s neat Did you used to name your Barbies? of course Is your life boring? ppl say it is but for me it’s not enough boring if you know what I mean Do you usually feel better around people or alone? alone Is there a broken relationship in your life that you want to fix? tried to fix friendships but it didn’t work out  Do you ever think about Heaven? yup Are you ready for Heaven yet? I will go to hell but I don’t mind dying now if it’s a quick death as I prefer to be gone that an ill burden to myself and others Are you afraid of where you’re going to go? I don’t deserve heaven, I think it would be unfair for me to go wherever, I have love-hate relationship with God Do you feel better now than you did last night? noooo Does your body have any problems with it? my body is 99,99% a problem, it’s made of problems like jigsaw puzzle game Have you taken any huge risks lately? my life is 24/7 at risk - does that count?... Silence or songs? depends  Do you ignore rude people or do you call them out? try to ignore them if possible What color socks do you have on? purple stripes, looks a bit like asexual flag - this realization :o Are you under a blanket right now? am not

How much was your prom dress? What’s the most you’d spend?: I wouldn’t buy anything expensive, dress from a second hand under 30 PLN Are most of your friends single or taken?: my friends were basically always single When you’re taking a survey that has a “Which of your friends is… the nicest? The prettiest? The smartest? Etc.” do you skip over it?: as I have no friends anymore to be honest What salon do you go to for getting your hair done?: I cut them on my own or ask mom for help Do you believe in luck?: I’m unlucky Would you marry someone of a different religion?: that would be hard  Would you convert for them?: nope Worst part about your job?: I don’t have a job and the worst part about it is lack of money and regular UP visits Ever took something out of the lost and found that wasn’t yours?: they tempt me I took some lost/trashed stuff from the street tho Do you delete friends from Facebook if they never talk to you?: that’s me! Do you know anyone who smokes cigars?: my uncle did Ugliest fashion trend at the moment?: according to this - shorts suit, cut outs, sheer/transparent, raffia not a fan of most of vests blue isn’t my fav color but it’s a seasonal thing but shirts shouldn’t be such a huge part of summer in my opinion Do you like glittery nail polishes?: why not

Are you wearing a pink shirt? it’s white with black letters

If you had a baby, would you want to have it at home or in a hospital? hospital I believe

Have you ever had a bad experience with anti-depressants? If so, what? don’t even let me begin this subject...

What makes your room unique? trinkets

Does your past bother you? consequences of it

Do you take risks or play it safe? play it safe and yet...

Are you afraid of running into a certain person in public? more than one person, more than one reason

Do you live in the USA? Poland

Who do you want to meet in Heaven? from those who already died? my brother

Is it raining? slightly

Is your life stressful and exhausting? to me it is too stressful and exhausting 

What is your favorite time of the day? when I sleep, if I sleep that is 

Have you ever known anyone that’s gone missing? nope Do you put your foundation on with a sponge or your hand? I don’t use foundation, yuk Do you have to pee often? ppl told me that I pee often Do you live near a pet store? they closed pet store in my town

Who was the last person other than family to tell you that they love you? my gf How many people have you kissed in the last month? 1 Do you know anyone who writes really well? my gf writes well Does it bug you when people spell color “colour”? not spell but write, it sounds good in British accent but looks horrible on paper

What is the best fanfic you have ever read (lmao) only fanfic I remember reading was that one E.W. and K.K. sent me about Draco and Harry (yaoi)

If you could direct your own TV show/movie, what would it be like? it would be based on my book

One thing you’ve always wished you could do / be good at? be healthy

Post a picture of the weirdest/funniest text conversation you’ve ever had! can’t choose only one, also, sadly,  I don’t have screenies of some of them 

Is there a stranger you would like to meet again? for example - I’d like to see all those ppl that I thought have amazing fashion sense and ask them if I can take photos then I would make a blog about it

Does your school take sports too seriously? all schools do, that’s unfair What does the sound you currently hear remind you of? it’s quiet

Did you eat out anywhere today? nah Where is your purse? my purses are in various places around my room

[space-kitten-606]

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (I'm kidding you don't have to do that many lololol) (((Unless ur up for the challenge hehehe))) (((((But really just 1 is fine))))))

Alright friendo, bring it on! I can’t believe I actually did that. 

Also fair bit of warning it gets a little dark somewhere around the 90 mark. Sorry about that.

My favourite colour is blue

English is not my first language

I wear glasses

I’m a huge procrastinator

I have a short attention span (even shorter if I don’t care)

If I think you’ve done something good for me, I’m loyal to a fault

I’m very forgetful

I suck at math

I have a bad memory

I’m right handed

I think feet are ugly

I love hugs!!!

When I see an animal irl I always smile no matter how bad I feel

I’m very impatient

I’m stubborn

I’m a people pleaser (yikes)

I’ve never been in a relationship

I have arachnophobia

I’m 22!

I have little to no self control

I’m super easy to befriend (if I like you)

If I see a cat while we’re out I will point at it and say “Katzi” (eng: Kitty) no matter what

I will absolutely want to pet it

I hate myself in pictures

I’m almost constantly surrounded by chaos

I love to play video games

I’d love to play multiplayer games too put they make me to anxious and I cry just thinking about trying

I used to be an emo kid (a really wacky one but I tried okay???)

I used to own lots of jewelry but I rarely put it on

I lost most of it by now

As I write this line, it’s 9:45 pm

I don’t like to eat fish (it makes me gag)

I love plushies and keep buying them

I’m smol

I loved Twilight when it came out but always disliked Edward

I read all three books of Fifty Shades of Grey

I’ve never watched a show completely

I drink way too much caffeine

I don’t like chocolate that much

I don’t like mustard

but sometimes I do

When I was a child my favourite animal used to be a dolphin

I’m too stupid to put in contact lenses, but I would love to use them

I don’t know how to do make up. Like. At all.

I have brown eyes. 

I always wished I had blue eyes and still do

I find colouring my hair in natural colours boring

I’ve had blue(ish) hair for at least three years now

I have two male cousins and three female cousins

I like to crack my bones.

I keep buying notebooks but rarely write in them

I haven’t read an actual book in years

Most of the time I only wear one pair of shoes until they’re broken 

I own seven bottles of the same perfume atm

I don’t like pure beer

Actually, I mix almost all my alcohol

On parties I tend to drink until I throw up (whoops)

For some reason a lot of people I meet assume that I’m a lesbian

I had four years of french in school

I can not speak french

I always try to pick up my cat and he hates it 

My first video game crush was Jak from Jak and Daxter lmao

I love the Resident Evil franchise

I have zero interest in the live action Resident Evil movies

I’ve easily played through Resident Evil 4 more than a hundred times

I own four copies of Resident Evil 4 (only one physical copy tho)

In vocational school I somehow made a presentation about suicide. It was weird, but my classmates were a lot nicer to me after that (and some of them stopped talking to me. Weird.)

I talk to myself almost all the time

I don’t have a driver’s license and am currently not planning to get one

I work in retail

I wanted to become a vet, a writer and an office worker (in that order)

If something is written with very bad spelling and/or grammar I won’t read it until the end

I’m a very jealous person

I rarely proofread my writing

I own all three official Saeyoung pillows

After having a nightmare or watching something spooky I sleep with the lights on

I’m super clumsy

I have only a few very close friends, but I love them like family

I like to overshare

I’m saying each of these things out loud as I write them down

I don’t find myself interesting at all

I always wanted a dog

Never had one

I don’t like voicing controversial opinions so sometimes I just say nothing instead

I like to sit with my legs crossed

I own three laptops

I think I’m not easy to stay friends with

I stop talking to people for (almost) no reason but I still like them

I have almost no boundaries

I don’t like old people

I really don’t like children

I rarely notice when something has changed about someone’s appearance

I don’t care about celebrities

I was in england, france, denmark, the netherlands and italy

I live in germany

I suck at remembering dates

I don’t know my phone number by heart

I didn’t cry when my grandparents died 

But I cried very hard when one of my birds died

I - or rather my parents - owned seven birds at some point

I find Star Wars super boring

I love zoos!

I never went to an aquarium

I once got lost around a village near my hometown

but I saw lots of deer up close which was cool

When I’m out and about I listen to music all the time

I love the Sims

I was at five concerts

I saw the Lion King Musical twice

I’m kind afraid of heights

I’m lazy

I’ve never played a Kingdom Hearts game until the end

I’ve been working on this list for over and hour now

I spend way too much money on in app purchases

I cut contact to my father’s side of the family, including my father

I hold grudges

I haven’t had my first kiss

I have a ridiculously strong desire to be liked by everyone all the time

I’ve never received hate

I counted how many stars you sent me five times. 

Three out of those five times I came to different numbers

I shower every day

I bought a cross necklace, just because Saeyoung has one

I prefer to write on lined (?) paper as opposed to checked paper

I have no idea if the terms above are right. And I also don’t really care

I suck at geography

I don’t like to talk to people who are slow to catch on

I don’t like repeating myself

And I also don’t like to hear the same thing several times

I used to upload amvs to You Tube

I wanted to do Let’s Plays at some point (but who didn’t)

I have oily skin

Tumblr keeps fucking up this post, because it’s too long

Send me a “🌟” and I will tell you a random fact about me ~

#kitten talks #ask game #flanabananacakes #long post

[mill3nniumforc3]

200: My crush’s name is: Russell :) 199: I was born in: April 1994 198: I am really: energetic 197: My cellphone company is: Verizon 196: My eye color is: hazel 195: My shoe size is: 7.5-8.5, depending on the shoe 194: My ring size is: 7.5 193: My height is: 5′5″ 192: I am allergic to: penicillin, cats, pollen, and strong scents 191: My 1st car was: I’ve never owned my own car. 190: My 1st job was: babysitting. First real job was a desk job at my university 189: Last book you read: I don’t remember. I don’t have time to read for leisure. 188: My bed is: comfy 187: My pet: Seamus the miniature schnauzer and Sugar the Aussie-mo 186: My best friend: Ashlyn 185: My favorite shampoo is: Dove 184: Xbox or ps3: neither 183: Piggy banks are: for kids and rainy days 182: In my pockets: nothing 181: On my calendar: going river tubing on Saturday, party next Saturday, trip for T’s birthday weekend, and possibly going to Kennywood and Kings Island sometime in August. 180: Marriage is: something for my future self 179: Spongebob can: do anything 178: My mom: is the bestest 177: The last three songs I bought were?: who buys music anymore? 176: Last YouTube video watched: probably an ASMR video 175: How many cousins do you have?: too many to count 174: Do you have any siblings?: three sisters 173: Are your parents divorced?: no 172: Are you taller than your mom?: yep 171: Do you play an instrument?: piano, drums, bells, and I know three chords of the guitar 170: What did you do yesterday?: sleep [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: sure 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: maybe? 166: Yourself: depends on the day 165: Aliens: not really... 164: Heaven: yes 163: Hell: Do I believe in it? Yes, because God is just. Do I believe people are damned there? No, because God is loving. 162: God: yes 161: Horoscopes: no. It’s funny to see “horoscope” posts and see if they apply to me, but it’s a bunch of b.s. A bunch of Aries aren’t going to have the same day/month/year. That’s ridiculous. 160: Soul mates: I’m not sure if I do or don’t, but I do believe in love. 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: of course! 157: War: it’s an unfortunate and unnecessary part of life 156: Orbs: no 155: Magic: yes [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: both 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: no comment 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: spring 146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s (though I’m probably biased because I work there) 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: both 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: neither 136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 135: Burried or cremated: I want to be cremated and have my ashes buried with a seed and grow into a tree 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: mani 127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas. My birthday stopped being special after I turned 19. I get good food every year on Christmas. 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: Six Flags 123: Yankees or Red Sox: Indians [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. 121: George Bush: he had some good policies. Better than Trump, that’s for damn sure. 120: Gay Marriage: should never be illegal again. 119: The presidential election: #FuckTrump #VoteBlueNoMatterWho #ImpeachTheMF 118: Abortion: all my life, I was told to be pro-life. These days, I don’t know anymore, but I think my beliefs are closer to pro-choice than pro-life. 117: MySpace: it’s not 2008 anymore. 116: Reality TV: glad it’s not my life 115: Parents: they’re doing their best. I’m not looking to be one anytime soon though. 114: Back stabbers: bye! 113: Ebay: Amazon is better. 112: Facebook: these days, I use it to get laughs and memes. I don’t interact with people I know IRL much. 111: Work: good for the money. Not good for my mental health. 110: My Neighbors: they’re ok. 109: Gas Prices: #ThanksTrump 108: Designer Clothes: I can get good clothes at Target. The only “splurge” I do for clothes is at Spencer’s or Kohl’s. 107: College: I plan to go back soon. 106: Sports: entertaining. 105: My family: family is life. 104: The future: anything can happen [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: Tuesday. 102: Last time you ate: a couple hours ago (chik’n patties and cheese) 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: last week. I saw a manager I hadn’t worked with in like a month. 100: Cried in front of someone: Monday 99: Went to a movie theater: July 2nd 98: Took a vacation: June 97: Swam in a pool: back in February 96: Changed a diaper: I don’t remember 95: Got my nails done: way too long ago 94: Went to a wedding: in April 93: Broke a bone: 2017 (broke my toe) 92: Got a piercing: 2006 91: Broke the law: never. I’m a good person. 90: Texted: three hours ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: Russell 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog 87: The last movie I saw: in theatres, Toy Story 4. At home, Adventures in Babysitting. 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being off on Saturday 85: The thing im not looking forward to: working tomorrow 84: People call me: Vonnie, Vonn, Bonbon, Sophia, and “the girl” 83: The most difficult thing to do is: not cry while watching Grey’s Anatomy 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: Aries 80: The first person i talked to today was: my sister 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten. His name was Wally, and we were “boyfriend and girlfriend” til about third grade, and we remained friends til we graduated 8th grade. Haven’t talked to him much since. 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Russell 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Sunday 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody because it’s 3:30am 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I hope to be teaching English education 74: I have/will get a job: I currently work at McDonald’s, but within the next 6-12 months, I’ll be moving out of state, so who knows where I’ll work.  73: Tomorrow: work 72: Today: work 71: Next Summer: I’ll be in a whole new state, so that means new amusement parks to visit and rollies to ride. 70: Next Weekend: party. Oh, and next Saturday makes officially 18 months with me and Russell, so go us! 69: I have these pets: two dogs 68: The worst sound in the world: the beeping in the headset when I work back cash. It haunts my nightmares 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Heather because she sends me to back cash all the time 66: People that make you happy: Russell, my mom, my dogs, Ashlyn, and Aunt Dolly because she sends me lives on Candy Crush 65: Last time I cried: Monday 64: My friends are: Ashlyn, Mikayla, Jon, Rilee, Lamar, Tae, Alexus, Clare, Katie, Mario, and Kel 63: My computer is: all mine because I bought it with my own money 62: My School: not in school  61: My Car: don’t have one 60: I lose all respect for people who: lie 59: The movie I cried at was: Avengers: Endgame 58: Your hair color is: natural 57: TV shows you watch: Grey’s Anatomy, Once Upon a Time, House, The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, and... I don’t really watch TV because I don’t have cable. 56: Favorite web site: YouTube 55: Your dream vacation: Just a big coaster trip 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: my period this month. I had cramps for days leading up to my period that were so bad that, the day my period actually came, I couldn’t stand straight. 53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t eat steak 52: My room is: a mess, like my life 51: My favorite celebrity is: NPH 50: Where would you like to be: with my boyfriend 49: Do you want children: someday, but not today 48: Ever been in love: ohhh yes. 47: Who’s your best friend: not answering again 46: More guy friends or girl friends: i think i have a fair amount of both 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: this is tmi, but sex with my bf. 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Russell 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: yes 41: Have you pre-named your children: I don’t have any definitive names, but I’m thinking MaryGrace Linda for a girl, and James Sebastian for a boy 40: Last person I got mad at: Anna because she put me on back cash 39: I would like to move to: someplace south 38: I wish I was a professional: dancer.... no, writer.... no, why not both? [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: peanut butter cups 36: Vehicle: Jeep 35: President: FDR 34: State visited: North Carolina (not just saying that because I lived there for two months) 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon 32: Athlete: Trevor Bauer 31: Actor: Justin Chambers 30: Actress: Amy Poehler 29: Singer: Chester Bennington 28: Band: Linkin Park 27: Clothing store: Kohl’s 26: Grocery store: Marc’s 25: TV show: Grey’s Anatomy 24: Movie: 13 Going on 30 23: Website: Pogo 22: Animal: seal 21: Theme park: Cedar Point 20: Holiday: Christmas 19: Sport to watch: baseball 18: Sport to play: softball 17: Magazine: I only read magazines at the dentist office, and I’ll read whichever has an interesting cover story 16: Book: A Series of Unfortunate Events 15: Day of the week: Saturday, as long as I’m not at work. If I’m working, then Mondays, I guess... 14: Beach: Huntington 13: Concert attended: Winter Jam, because I got to see Skillet play, and I met Matthew West. 12: Thing to cook: desserts 11: Food: eggplant parm 10: Restaurant: Olive Garden 9: Radio station: Star 102 8: Yankee candle scent: vanilla 7: Perfume: I don’t wear perfume 6: Flower: Daisies 5: Color: pink 4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres 3: Comedian: Steve Rannazzisi 2: Dog breed: I really like terriers lol 1: did you answer all these truthfully ?: For me to know and you to find out :)

#about me #bored #lol

[cuckiller-blog]

About the Killer...

Hello there person on the internet. I don't know you, but if you're reading this you will know me, or at least what I'm about. The name and description of this account pretty much says it all; pretty much...

I just want to clarify that I am fully aware that the terms "snowflake", "SJW" and "cuck" have been made popular due to extreme right Republican, mostly Trump supporters over the last few years; however, they don't own those terms nor are the first to use them. I am not a Trump supporter and never will be. As a matter of fact, Donald Trump is one of the biggest snowflakes I have ever witnessed. Getting butthurt over every little criticism, insulting people he once claimed he liked/respected because they say they don't agree with everything he does (pre and post presidential election mind you), etc... the man is a crybaby.

Just so we're clear here... A snowflake cuck is simply anyone, republican or democrat, liberal or conservative, who gets offended by every little thing or every little person under the reality sun who doesn't agree with their fragile sensibilities.

This goes for the following which I will be covering over time:

- Using certain terms/phrases which can be negative (grasp your chest and gasp now) to express emotions, but don't reflect that person's actual beliefs about human issues. I.E. If I say something is gay or call someone a faggot that doesn't mean I am against homosexual people, or their rights or that I'm protesting gay marriage in front of court houses. Sorry the word "straight" isn't used to describe dumb shit, but that doesn't mean everyone saying shit is gay means they hate gay people...

- Stating facts about people and their appearance..... Sorry fat people... If you're fat, you're fat. Sorry simple facts of life bother you so much. I know a few skinny people also hate being called skinny due to body issues, but it's far and few between fat people and the same still applies.... If you're fat, you're fat, if you're skinny, you're skinny, if you're whatever in between, you're whatever in between, doesn't always mean people are out to get you and doesn't mean they hate you or think you're ugly just cause you're FACTUALLY fat...

- Jokes/Stand-Up Comedy/Overly PC Fascist crowds... You are cancer, you are killing comedy because you don't know how to take a joke and not take everything seriously.... Do you not realize most of what comedians say they don't even truly believe IRL? Even if they do..... Who cares? As long as it's funny? Sorry, anything can be a joke, including rape. Doesn't mean they condone rape... If you can't understand that, move the fuck along snowflake. The PC culture has gone to the extremes in general as well, people can't say anything without being made to feel like pieces of shit because they say something someone may not like as a part of freedom of expression. I'm not even talking about people going around saying blatantly evil shit, those people are dicks, but I mean the most innocent of shit. Like if someone says "I have a friend who's an Indian, he lives on a reservation a few towns over." and people act like you just condemned that whole group to hell because you didn't call your FRIEND a "Native American!!!!" instead.... Lol..... Ugghhhhh.... Get a grip people......

- Millennials.... The epitome of the snowflake plaque..... Sure, not all millennials are snowflakes, but a good majority of them are. Much more than past generations..... They call it progressive behavior when really they are being fascists trying to control free speech and expression; especially at stand-up comedy acts..... Just gay as fuck.... Lol

- Asexuals/Sexual Shamers.... So now a days if you comment on someone's appearance as being "hot" or "sexy" these little pieces of shit wanna downvote and criticize said posts because they don't understand the simple fact that men have penises and women have vaginas and sometimes they see people in certain revealing clothing/poses that induce a sexually attracted response as a condition of being a normal human rather than some sexually repressed cuck.

- Feminazis...... Lol...... Just lol..... Not every person who has a penis and makes a seemingly funny or observational comment about the opposite sex is trying to strip away all of your rights or how strong or equal you can be. The difference between genuine feminists and feminazis is night and day....

Oversensitive/overprotective animal rights cucks..... Sorry bitch boy, it's not animal abuse, it's innocent fun so STFU about "Don't ever do that to that beautiful animal ever again! You don't deserve to have pets!" when it's clear the animal is not in danger and it's just good fun. You're a dumb shit and you know nothing about how well they care for their pets or their bond and simply judge them because some guy sneaked up behind his dog, yelled and made him jump or some shit? Gimme a break ya little bitch...

- Did you assume my/that person's gender!!!!? No shit stick, I don't assume when facts are concerned, I just go by said facts. Chances are if you look like a dude, you're a dude. If you look like a chick, you're a chick. If it quacks like a duck............. It probably calls you a cuck. Look, nobody cares if you identify as a woman, if you've got a 5 o'clock shadow, adam's apple and a penis taped to your thigh behind some dress, wig, and makeup, you're still a fuckin dude..... I'm not gonna call you a woman cause you identify as one "inside". I'm also not going to say a white guy is black because he identifies as a black man. I won't call you a cat because you're a human who identifies as a feline ya nutty bitch. Funny how that works eh? Gender is not fluid and it's not a choice. Nor is race or friggin' species. Lol....

You can turn yourself from male to female aesthetically and call yourself a woman, sure, and I'll most likely call you a woman if you actually look like a woman, but you're still factually not a woman. You don't have milk producing breasts or possess a real vagina or womb..... You can never get pregnant..... Never have a period...... Not a real woman..... Deal with it. "But Cuck Killer, some women can't get pregnant!" blah blah blah.... Yeah, we are all aware of this. It's also not the norm, and obviously even for women who can't get pregnant and whatnot......... Their vagina is still real/natural from birth soooo..... Yeeeeaaahhhhhh...... They are real women still...... Because..... ya know..... their vagina's weren't fashioned from half a mutilated penis..... This also applies to the cancerous "he/him" or "her/she" bullshit on some people's social media profiles. You don't need to proclaim your gender like that, nobody cares. This wasn't something people ever put in profiles to "clarify MY gender" up until a couple years ago. I go out of my way to call them the opposite gender of what they shove in your face to refer to them as just to see them blow their shit. Lol

It's also clear that when someone addresses a group of people and says "Hey, guys!" even when women are present, it's just a common greeting and "guys" in this context just means people.... Not literally calling the women males.... So relax and stop throwing a bitch fit when people say that. It's not always about gender specifics for crying out loud.

- LGBTQXYZSDL blah blah blah whatever it's initial count is up to at this very second of this minute of this hour. Look, I'm not against gay people, nor do I dislike them generally speaking. I am for gay marriage and all that jazz, so this isn't so much about the gay community but more so the people (not all of them are even gay, but they are snowflakes) who raise a big shit when you say "LGBT" but leave the Q off, or worse yet just say "gay/transgendered community" instead of the initials. They act like you just killed a baby right in front of them, calm down faggot, it's not that big of a deal. (Again, snowflakes, me saying faggot there doesn't mean I hate gay people, read above and note that I have no hate for homosexuals and faggot in this case simply means "dumb shit" lol).... How long will it be before they add a new initial to it and people shit their pants if you don't say "LGBTQBSHSKSBDGSN" in one breath without pausing to catch your breath in between? I cringe to see the day. LMAO

And more than likely more ridiculous shit as time goes on. Sure this list will be updated over time as dumb shit keeps happening.... But that is the gist of what this account will be about. Basically people getting offended and raising a stink over every little thing.

If you're still reading you either agree with me or you're a glutton for logical punishment. Either way, get those seat belts on!

[boobachu]

The T.C. rambles while watching a force awakes

Re-watching star wars 7 to see if out of the 3D headache IMAX theatre, if it’s any better.

I still hate parody Han Solo guy, like he reminds me of post-Black Knight Sonic the Hedgehog. Just really unfunny and trying way too hard to be hip and internet savvy or something.

I don’t think anything will change my opinion that he shoulda been a bit character.

I’ve decided to commentate the whole fucking movie so read on if you dare.

Rey’s making space bread. It’s very gross.

I doubt anything will change my opinion that she’s the best star wars character.

Oh God BB-8

HBomberguy ruined BB-8 for me. Whenever I see him all I hear is

L I T T L E   W H I T E   C U C K - B A L L L L L L

I guess Rey doesn’t like him either, I forgot this part.

I wish they got rid of the Dorito Destroyer.

Oh boy Darth Helmet is interrogating Lone Star.

Kylo Ren has the stupidest helmet.

There’s subtitles on this so I learned the guy’s name is Poe

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

Like Kylo Ren is really badass in the first half I remember this, like he stops a God damn laser blast.

Would you sell BB-8 for 60 meals?

Oh hey

Ugh what’s his name... the storm trooper’s gonna take Poe outta here.

You need a pilot. LOL

I guess Poe is alright, just his first impression was very dumb.

Oh snap it’s hooked down. What kinda name is Hux that’s stupid.

Ha hah shootin’ em down just like Annie in ep 1.

Get fucked command center.

Why do they still have Twin Ion Engine fighters?

I guess we still drive cars so eh...

Ah his name is Finn now, I guess he is a clone? or something?

Maybe they have multiple types of clones. I wonder if they still use Jango Fett...

Fucking proton torpedos!!!

Ah yeah I forgot Finn just wants to GTFO

Trailer shot. Nice.

Oh wait I can turn off subtitles. Good that was disorienting me.

And Poe dies... a great fake-out you thought parody han solo was a protag, but no this is the story of Finn, the storm trooper defecting from nazi hell-space to find his own life on Jakku or wherever.

He keeps Poe’s jacket for cover, very poetic. HAH

POE-ETIC God why did I hate this movie again?

If there’s a Kylo Ren, where is Kylo Stimpy?

Oh God Finn no don’t ugh drank the slop water ugh no why ugh

Finn goes to save Rey cuz white knight trope. Rey can handle herself like a ‘90s chick. Hey she’s a pit chick she’s got a staff.

RUN FINN RUN

Rey fuck taser what

Finn’s having a lousy life.

Poor basketball’s friend died. I feel like the story is rushing.

Like I expected more of a build-up not “SPIT OUT THE EXPOSITION FUCKIN”

Ah, storm troopers...

Rey doesn’t want your cooties, Finn.

Fucking TIE fighters fuck

Is Finn dead? No he just nappin’

Everything exploding!

THE GARBAGE’LL DO

God damn Millenium cheeseburger.

I can do this I can do this

HOW DO YOU FLY A CHEESEBURGER

Fucking karma’s a cheeseburger, that’s what you get for callin’ the SS you loser

The action scenes are choice

Ah Dorito ruins.

Oh I remember this part just

TIE DOWN

oh no Finn down

here it comes

G E T  R E A D Y

fucking engine exhaust TIOGHT

HARD RIGHT

WOOOOOO

Takin’ the shot yeah

Space

CHUCK A  SHIT

ohp

Kylo is Mado

NERD RAGE

AAAAAAAAAA

Kylo is such a 12 year old in 2003.

GIRL?! THERE WAS A WOM?!?!?!?!? XDDD fucking loser

pweese BB-8 help I dunno what I do

fucking lighter thumbs up

Damn Finn what a nerd. “Got a boyfriends? a boyfriend?”

oh no they got garbage dayed

come on Rey gas them gas them all

oh great it’s Han Solo and Chewie

oh wait he used to be Han Solo

What is he now Han Oriana? Whatever Leia’s last name was I never could spell it.

Damn buncha everything happens

Oh great it’s big eyed billy joe armstrong and his O-nauts

WE WUNT OR MUNEY BAEK NAU

oh boy more losers.

It’s all over for Solo.

Ah shit just unleashed things.

There goes the neighborhood just fucking angry meatballs of death AND HE FEEDS THAT DUDE TO IT

oh shit it quiet

Rey is allalone...

Fucking Finn I turn my head a sexond and the meatball caught him.

Get to da cheeseborger

“I never ask that question until after I’ve done it”

Just lightspeed dashed I swear he looks like british billie joe armstrong.

Damn giant fish thing on planet deadly pokeball.

Who is supreme leader he is stupid ugly stupid.

Oh his dad’s Han Solo wow way to blow it spoiler alert fucking why didn’t they save that for the end who wrote this crap oh he was a hologram.

Damn babuy chewie

Ah the new hope plot.

I dunno they twist it enough to make it feel fresh so eh.

Ah a planet of islands... the scenery reminds me of ep 2

“Did you just call me ‘Solo’?”

Women always figure out the truth, always.

There needs to be a han solo inspirational poster that says that.

A job? The fabled... job? You offer job?

Rey has a home? I thought she was just a wayfarer.

Don’t stare “At what?” any of it XDDDDD

Yeah this story feels like it’s going too fast like what’s going on.

HAAAN S O L O

Wait she’s hot for Chewbakka?

Man this band sucks.

Oh great fucking droid nark NARK

Weird lady narks NARKS EVERYTHWIER

Oh boy Darth Helmet is brooding.

Fucking Darth Vader. Kylo Ren is such a fanfiction.

Like, the idea of a warrior of light choosing darkness is something you seldom see done, but... eh... I guess? IRL kids no like most nazis are privilidged and a decade ago would be seen as nerds.

what’s this

what are you doing

The eyes of a man who wants to run

Finn need go bye-bye

Oh wait storm troopers are stolen, not bred. That’s worse like

Finn is really shiny there who does his makeup?

Rey sure didn’t care he was a storm trooper LOL

The screams... they becon me...

Finally a fresh feeling scene.

WHAT’S IN DA BOX

fucking lightsaber

T R I G G E R E D

Is she clairvoyant? I dond’t remember this part.

Is this special edition?

FUTURE

I like specs. She cool.

FUCK D A FORCE

Oh boy nazis

Fucking screamy bitch XDDD

FIST UP why are the nazis doing the fist up this is upsetting.

PEW

How does the laser split up into shit and what is this planet?

Like this is supposed to be dramatic but... you literally don’t know any of those people or any of those planets. This should have been episode 8 or 9 after establishing those planets.

 W H A T    A    W A S T E

oH BOY  Finn got da lightsabah

BEASTS

There goes that dump, way to go Rey it’s your fault I guess BLANKS

Way to kill that soldier

MURDER SPREE

Oh boy Kylo Ren, what a hoot that guy.

wait is this the part?

Han Solo so has the force like if his force3 ghost isn’t in the movie

YOU HAAAVE ONE

Han Solo what a goof

TRAITOR

M E L E E   B A T T L E

Fucking just like in Empire except it’s not Yoda hallucination probably.

Caughted

THE RESISTIES

The x-wing is still the coolest thing like Sonic knew that.

Damn Finn calm down it’s just a pilot.

Rey is in weird jungle o no

She just got godlike and Ren is gonna break that killstreak

MELEE OP

Fucking using cheater force

Kylo you sound like such a dork

That cross saber is still stupid where’s the minorah saber

Nooo Rey!!!

C’mon Finn melee them

fucking lightsaber the whole first order you can do it

just

throw it at the ship

just

throw

and the bad guys win

C-3P0 you mother fucker

Changed your hair

Same Jacket

I can’t believe Carrie Fisher is dead.

The resisties are kinda boring looking.

Oh look it’s Poe, he’s alive somehow.

Maybe the second time I’ll get the good explanation.

Oh no, there’s no good explanation he just wasn’t there.

L A A A A A A A A A A M M M E.

Okay we’re past a new hope kinda in empire strikes back territory and the ending is the last jedi. Like I totally get people being upset that this is basically the original trilogy in a nutshell.

Damn dead R2-D2

Wait C-3P0 has a red arm why

I wonder how many parents relate to Han and Leia because their son turned into a nazi.

Fucking Snoke. What kinda name is that. Solid Snoke.

Was Kylo Ren just staring at Rey’s unconscious body for the past hour?

I’m sorry he’s just not intimidating he looks like a cheap halloween darth vader

Then the dramatic reveal like remember when Darth Vader was so disfigured from burning alive?

Kylo’s just ugly. Like that’s it that’s the reveal. Kylo is ugly.

Rey/Kylo is like whenever a 4chan boy tries to hit on a hot youtube girl like your face just melds into the chair to escape his grasp like a cat that doesn’t want to be pet.

I dunno this scene is just so stupid cuz they both look dorky like this is happening at otakon

You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader

BITCH GOT TOOOLLLLLLD

Kylo has a huge nose. Like he’s Lois Griffin triangle sandwitch nose

I like how Rey tries to Luke Skywalker the storm trooper and he’s like “Serious?”

LOL fucking just left

T A N T R U M   T I M E

and the storm troopers just turn around LOL

Okay I love this weapon like, it’s a combination of the star crusher and a vaccum cleaner from Luigi’s mansion. It destroys the star, but in the way that it uses it to destroy things.

“So it’s big”

Disable the shields... there better be Ewoks on that planet.

Seriously, what does Poe add to the story after the escape?

Damn leila and han... dum

Hey a woman stormtrooper, like just a white gal. I didn’t notice that.

Damn lightspeed their way in.

Hooooh what a landing.

...Han Solo...

That‘s not how the force works!!!

LOL

Finn just wants Rey. I can see why people would think he’s horny for her since that boyfriend line, but that was the last horny thing he said.

Fucking mad with Power, calm down Finn then again we all wanna tell off our boss.

Rey is gonna escappeeeee damn hang on the side of the wall is that a switch what

Rey just climbing that wall like a monkey.

S H I E L D S   D O W N

Fucking Han... is there a trash compactor? You dirty bastard

And here comes the interesting part of Jedi Returns SHOOTY TIME

A T T A C K   T H E   S C P H I N C T E R (that’s how you spell it right)

Oh I love the sun thing like, it’s a great way of showing the timer without a clock.

Oh look it’s Rey, go on and almost get shot to death

H U G

Escape now, hug later.

The cinematography is good I like the dog fights.

LET”S BLOW SHIT UP

I dunno this just really isn’t dramatic at all

Placing bombs, just like in Jedi.

Here comes Kylo

At least he keeps the mask on, like too many movies rely on faces.

oh light’s almost gone.

M A H   B O Y

Ah the stupid part

Wait is his name Finn too?

Like this woulda been way more dramatic if you didn’t know Kylo was Han’s boy.

There’s no music making this awkward and gut-wrenching which you don’t see modern mvoies do.

I’m being torn apart ;w;

What a bitch

Knowing what happens these lines are hilarious

Will you help me

L I G H T S   O U T

red

STAB, STAB, STAB~

AHHHHHH HOOO HOO HOO HOOOIIEEEEE

I dunno like, you’d think Han Solo being stabbed to death with his son would feel more heavy but that was just... nothing.

A S P L O D E

Fucking Kylo TEEF

Night time, being chased by a crazy dork in the woods.

oh here it comes

TRAILER FUEL

YEUR A MUNSTAH

REY DOWN

C’mon Finn

TRAAAIIITOOORRRR

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT

Fucking melee battle

Just fueled by the rage of his fallen friend, the desparation of the sun dissolving he fights for his life against a wounded lunatic.

Okay so maybe that cross saber has a use.

FINN DOWN

grabby time

oh no

REY GRABBED THE SABER

ROUND TWO, DARTH LOSER

This is unbearably xcool

Time to shoot the hole... like in new hope.

This ending is just all three original endinds with new stuff

30 seconds

SNEAKED IN SHOOT EM UP WOOOOOOOO

JUST LIKE ANNIE IN EP 1

only cooler

KA BLOOOOIIEEEE

fuckin’ A

this battle is just like in empire strikes back

fucking planet’s falling apart so it’s better

A tempting offer

Who wants kylo ren to be a teacher like he’d be like a nun

W 0 0 T

it’s the comeback

don’t give the hero a dramatic pause to focus

B E A T   D O W N

the struggle is real

K-O

Take that loser

there seems to be something between us, Ren

Welp the planet is collapsing woo

Finn don’t you die, Poe is a loser you’re cool Finn

Ah it’s Chewie in the Churger

oh yeah han died like I thought it was han but no he died XDDDDD

GTFO

Here comes the sun doot de doo doot~

Epic

Now for the final scene of congrats.

“Sorry General, your boyfriend was stabbed by his son and then the planet exploded”

H U G

Poor Chewie.

Fucking Artoo what are you doing here.

Like, this shoulda been episode 8 here, it feels like it shoulda ended with han’s funeral and the map was the start of the next movie aunno.

And Finn’s tale of a freedom slave blowing up the nazi death planet comes to a close.

Wait is she leaving?

I thought there was a funeral.

Nothing?

Not even an F?

Yeah then se see’s Luke’s hairy ass and it ends so awkwardly like this movie felt like two movies and THIS SHOULDA BEEN IN THE SEQUEL WHAT

Whoever wrote this is an idiot, whoever directed is even worse.

ANyways my conclusion is that the movie isn’t horrible, but... I dunno it’s about as bad as ep2 tho that movie’s crime was being boring, this one was too much story crammed into a short period and ruined opportunities.

I might watch ep 8 but I just am not invested like

HAN SOLO DYING MEANT NOTHING

Like fucking handing him a lightsaber what kinda ending is that

R O G U E   O N E   W A S   B E T T E R.

The end.

#Star Wars #Well that was fun writing down #Might do that more often tho WHO READ THIS? Like if you read this I hope you were entertained

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #378

"Baby Fru, Ominous Portents”

[Steve] Has gone to fetch a few things from Doc's disorganized trunks and stumbles upon Grinny pouting. He kneels down and speaks quietly- Hey there... you look kinda cold. Did you lose your sweater?

[Grinny] - Fuck off, I don't need anything!- He makes a quick swat at Steve

[Steve] Yikes! - Manages to pull away in time to only get slightly scratched- That stings! Why are you so angry all the time?

[Grinny] - Because I hate all of you!  Especially humans!

[Steve] Oh. Is there anyone you don't hate?

[Grinny] - There are those I find less annoying, you are not included amongst those

[Steve] But you hardly know me. I haven't been mean to you.

[Grinny] - No, but you are human, and they are the worst

[Steve] That's not fair. You're a mean cat, but I don't think all cats are mean.

[Grinny] - You would think differently if you had been what I'd been through- He tries to slink away

[Steve] We've all had bad experiences. Hey... where are you going?

[Grinny] - Away from you!

[Steve] Would it help if I made you something?

[Grinny] - No

[Steve] Is scooting on the floor to keep Grinny in sight but not touching him - If you could have anything, what would you want? And don't say for me to fuck off and die, that's cheating.

[Grinny] -For all humans other than the ones I like to die

[Steve] Geeze.... I think I'd ask to be able to fly like Cp does. Just like.... hover. Without Elytra or anything.

[Grinny] - I'm sure he could  give you the coding for it, now fuck off

[Steve] Can't I at least make you something to wear so you don't get cold?

[Grinny] - I'm fine

[Steve] Wait! Wait! I have a great idea! - He pulls out his needles and a ball of black yarn-  just give me a minute. I bet you'll like it!

[Grinny] - No

[Steve] Is concentrating and counting stitches as he kits. - Please?

[Grinny] - Not happening

[Steve] But it's perfect! - He quickly finishes up the edges and holds it up. It's a black cat-sided sweater, but on the back, outlined in pixels, in the yarn is a very distinct hand giving the middle finger and the words 'I hate you'.

[Grinny] - Burn it

[Steve] Aw.... - He sets it down on the floor. Obviously a little bummed.

[Grinny] Starts trotting off-

[Steve] Would a flaming skull be better?

[Grinny] - I don't need anything!

[Steve] How about a knife with 'Die humans die?'

[Grinny] - Go away!

[Steve] Just kinda flops on the floor and the sweater gets sucked into Grinny's theft/inventory slot-

[Grinny] Hisses-

[Steve] meeh. 'Born to kick ass?' 'Kiss my Tail?'Maybe just 'Fuck off?'

[Grinny] - Stop bothering me!

[Steve] I bet I know what you'd like actually... to be bigger.

[Grinny] - No

[Steve] Rolls over on the carpet in defeat- Well then I'll spite you by liking you anyway. Just like Doc did with Cp.

[Grinny] - How about you don't

[Steve] You can't stop me. I love cats. I love you Grinny. You're a good kitty.

[Grinny] - I hate you, go away

[Steve] Nope. You're the best creepypasta cat there is.

[Grinny] Hisses and runs off-

[Steve] -Sighs-

[Yaunfen] Calls out over the chat - MOOOOOOOMMM!

[Deer] - I'm in the garden

[Yaunfen] Comes running outside with Waffles following and something in their hands- mom mom mom mom!

[Deer] - What is it?  I'm right here

[Yaunfen] Huffing out of breath as Waffles circles them sniffing excitedly- I put down- accidently- I'm sorry- AND IT'S WIGGLING. - They're holding a very ugly brown egg with red, green and yellow flecks-

[Deer] - Is it something from the analyzer?

[Yaunfen] Fast nods-

-Lots of egg wiggles-

[Deer] - Well, what do you think needs to happen next?

[Yaunfen] Obviously has no idea- Fence? Food? SHOULD WE CALL ENDREA???

[Deer] - Well why don't we go inside first so we can keep a better eye on it and make a small enclosure for it in the lab

-Egg splits and gushes out a rather thick white gunk like donut icing-

[Yaunfen] FUCK.

[Deer] Moves quickly to catch whatever may be inside- Whoops

-It looks like a raptor, but with some small speckles like the egg and the head seems larger-  

[Yaunfen] Helps her and the baby makes a high pitched squeeeeeee.

[Waffles] Very excited sniffing!

[Deer] - Yaunfen, go inside and get some fence materials and find your Mada

[Baby] Yawns big and it has loooots of teeth-

[Yaunfen] Takes off- Yes mom!

[Deer] Follows, moving carefully so as not to be hurt by the claws and teeth that the baby has-

[Doc] comes back from outside the server with a backpack just as Yaunfen barrels into them- Woah! I was only gone a few minutes. Didn't think I'd be missed that badly kiddo-

[Yaunfen] Baby! FCa saurus, something! Waffles bumped me.

[Doc] I think Waffles needs to be taught the sit command.

[Waffles] Blep.

[Deer] Comes up with the starting to struggle baby- Ah, there you are love, a little help here?

[Baby] Wiggles it's feet. It doesn't have the curved foot claw but three big claws instead- Squee?

[Doc] Eyes widen - Oh dear...

[Deer] - Yeah...

[Yaunfen] Am I in trouble?

[Deer] - No?

[Doc] It's just... gonna get big.

[Deer] - But maybe next time you should wait for Mada to be here when you get an animal from the analyzer?

[Yaunfen] Yes mom...  I was gonna put it away...

[Doc] To be fair when Waffles head bumps it can knock you over if you aren't expecting it.

[Deer] - Then perhaps Waffles should be in another room when this goes on as well

[Yaunfen] Yes mom. But.... it is kinda neat isn't it?

[Doc] Is mouthing- I think it's a red-eye!

[Deer] - Uh...  At the moment?  Yes, later?  I'm not so sure.  This may end up getting really big

[Baby] Hungry squeak!

[Yaunfen] What do we feed it?

[Deer] - It's teeth suggest meat...

[Doc] But it's from the candy seed right? Sort of? It looks weird, Like.... not scaly.

[Deer] - Yaunfen, why don't you go find some meat for it while Mada and I build an enclosure

[Yaunfen] Candy meat or meat meat?

[Deer] - Candy

[Waffles] Busks Deerheart-

[Yaunfen] Yes mom! - Dashes off again-

[Doc] Well.... they've inherited a few things...

[Deer] - From which one of us?

[Doc] Both. In this case; my reckless curiousity, and your clumsiness.

[Baby] Wiggling limbs and tail moving around a bit too-

[Deer] Gives Doc a disapproving look- Enclosure building, now

[Doc] Yes dear. How about the playroom for the moment? Unless you want to call Cp. He kind of specializes in cavernous builds.

[Deer] - Anything for now, and let's hope this doesn't grow quickly

[Doc] Come on then, Yaunfen is probably searching the kitchen anyway. We'll take the tunnel.

[Deer] Motions for Doc to lead the way while she holds the squirming baby-

[Baby] Nips at her fingers in annoyance, it reaaaalllly wants down.

[Deer] - We should hurry

[Doc] Leads into the kitchen where Yaunfen is digging-

[Yaunfen] I got chocolate chickens?

[Doc] Lets get it in the pen first - heads down the tunnel-

[Deer] - Ow ow ow

[Doc] Runs ahead and starts dropping metal grate fences two high at the entrance to the room - Shame to ruin the vines, but better safe then sorry-

[Yaunfen] Shuts the door behind them -

[Waffles] Rolls on the carpet-

[Deer] - Is it safe?

[Doc] Yeah, put em down. They're small, they can't get too far.

[Deer] Leans over and lets it go-

[Baby] Makes a break for it to get away from Deerheart. It takes a few steps before getting distracted by the soft floor and kicking at the wool blocks in curiousity.

[Yaunfen] It digs like a chicken! - They put the chocolate chicken flesh on the floor.

[Doc] I read somewhere that dinosaurs are related.

[Deer] - I think this one will be a project for the whole family...

[Baby] Leaps on the food and rips it apart with it's jaws -

[Yaunfen] WHOAH.

[Doc] Yeaaah.

[Deer] - Let's leave it to get settled

[Yaunfen] Mom?

[Deer] - Yes?

[Yaunfen] Thinks deeply for a moment. - Can we name them Fru?

[Doc] Shrugs-

[Deer] - Sure, why not

[Fru] Very tiny little roar.

[Deer] - Come on, I need to tend to my fingers.  Fru has very sharp teeth

[Yaunfen] Sorry mom.

[Doc] I'll get you some of the cooling slime - Leads her outside - Please be careful Yaunfen.

[Yaunfen] Yes mada.

[Deer] - And perhaps slow down on the number of pets your getting

[Yaunfen] Nods as Deerheart is led away-

[Doc] Hugs her shoulder- Things could be worse I suppose.

[Deer] - True, but I think I'll be a bit relieved if they ever end up with a more normal pet,  Plus things are going to get very busy soon with everyone helping with Lie's baby...

[Doc] I was going to say worse like you driving me to make cheese day and night in an insatible cycle of smelliness.

[Deer] - Oh gods, never!

[Doc] Helps her inside and to a trunk in the breakroom facing the map. They pull out a big jar of healing/cooling slime and open it - Just stick your hands in it. They really tore you up, my poor Deerheart. -Kisses her forehead-

[Deer] Slips her hands in, sighing in relief-

[Doc] Sits down next to her- Soooo... how was your day?

[Yster] Sighs as they row the little boat back to shore- I guess we should be getting back.....

[Locklear] - Well, I wouldn't want you to miss your boss' reaction to finding that one mob fixed

[Yster] Yeah, I had fun though. A working holiday. Shall we head out through the office and take a walk home?

[Locklear] - That sounds lovely

[Yster] -in chat- Is there anyone near the bar who can make a portal irl?

[BEN] - Yeah?  I'm at the library?

[Yster] Heads up the hill and motions Locklear to follow-

[BEN] Is floating around trying to find some appropriate books for Hyrule-

[Locklear] Whispering to Yster- I will completely understand if you wish to burn some candles when we get home

[Yster] I think it'll be okay.

[Locklear] - You never lived with him

[Yster] Any chance you can let us out in the Mojang office? I have some news for Jeb before I go home. He tends to work late.

[BEN] - Sure, whatever.  Hey Locklear- He creates an opening

[Locklear] - BENJAMIN

[Yster] Gives him a polite nod - Thank you. Hope your family is well.

[BEN] - Yeah, Hyrules learning fast, still not much of a talker though

[Yster] He's playing the silent protagonist I guess. If he's reading that's good at least. And he might suprise you later. Kids are funny like that.

[Locklear] - Yes well we should be going, it can't be good to leave these portals open for to long

[Yster] Passes through with a friendly wave for BEN. -

- /Player Yster and player Locklear have left the server/ -

-Little bit of time passes. -

[Notch] Knocks on Lie's door. -

[CN] Answers the door- Hello?

[Notch] Is trying not to smile and holding his phone in one hand. - I answered the phone but the call is for Cp. Is he around?

[CN] - I think he's making some food for Lie...  And me- Steps aside so Notch can pass

[Notch] Thank you. - He walks into the kitchen - Cp? Phone call for you. - holds out the phone-

[CP] - About what!?- There's a slight burning smell coming from the furnace in front of him

[Notch] He wants me to give you the phone so you can talk privately, for some fucking reason.

[CP] Sighs in irritation and takes the phone- Fucking Nether what the fuck do you want?

[Notch] A bit too loud- I'm leaving? You happy now? - Goes back out of the room-

[Jeb] Hey.... is this a bad time?

[CP] - What the fuck do you want?

[Jeb] I saw what you did on the phantom coding, it's really something else entirely. Genius really.

[CP] - Is there a point to this?

[Jeb] I was wondering if you'd kinda... maybe... do you want a job?!?

[CP] - No

[Jeb] But you'd have extra money, for the baby and stuff? And you'd have a say in the updates!

[CP] - I already have plenty of money, Slender is fucking loaded and I have his card.  And now that you know I can come out there and personally threaten you I doubt you'll do anything that would piss us off

[Jeb] It has nothing to do with pissing you off! You'd have input when we discuss future features. And we have this codename Markus and I used to use for when it was just the two of us and we wanted to make the company look bigger. You could be Junkboy, and take credit for everything we've done in the past under that name as well as whatever you come up with in the future.

[CP] - No...  Shit!- There is now black smoke coming out of the furnace and CP lunges to pull the food out

[Jeb] I could... add you in on the next bunch of patch notes. I'm sure the community would go crazy on the internet....

[CP] - Oh joy, then we'd have a bunch of summoners going off everywhere

[Jeb] I'm just throwing out ideas! Isn't there anything I could offer you? We'd been working on some of those coding problems all week!

[CP] - Nope

[Jeb] Arrrrrrrrgh. But wait.... don't you want the summoners to go off?

[CP] - I'm going to be busy, I won't want that sort of distraction

[Jeb] But... Cp!

[CP] Is walking now and see's Notch and just throws the phone at his father and goes back to trying to make dinner-

[Notch] Is bonked in the head with the phone and the chain chomp steals it and bounces away before he can fully recover- Hey!

-Late that night-

[Zeke] Is laying in bed with Arden, it's very quiet and both of them are dozing comfortably.

[Arden] Opens one eye - So... when were you going to tell me?

[Zeke] That I'm a giant tentacle monster? I wasn't sure when would be a good time to bring that up in casual conversation. - He hesitates - Does it... bother you?

[Areden] I don't know... I'm still in love with you though. But I don't think I'm ready to make love... like that... just yet. I mean, if it's even possible. You won't like, lay eggs in my chest or something right?

[Zeke] I would never! -pauses- And who says I lay eggs??? That's not true at all!

-There's a bit of a rumble as it starts to storm outside. The crashes of thunder can be heard even in the bowels of the castle-

[Steve] Looks up from his spot in the warm bath- Sounds like tomorrow will be a good day to stay home huh?

[TLOT] Blinks sleeply from his own spot in the lava tub. He's leaning on the railing and his eyes slide open slow like a cat. He's feeling the changes in the air, both real and psychic. - We may not have a choice... I think, it's almost time.

[Steve] Really??? Now I'm excited.

[TLOT] This will be... interesting.

[Yaunfen] Pads up into Doc and Deerheart's room- mada... mom? I know I'm too old for this... but...

[Doc] Wakes up - Are you okay?

[Yaunfen] I had a bad dream.

[Deer] - Oh sweetheart, come here

[Yaunfen] Crawls gratefully into the bed and snuggles down-

[Doc] Wraps hir robe a bit closer and snuggles them both as the rain pours down on the skylight above.

This message has been removed.

[EAlex] Is playing solitare on Licht's computer [literally moving the cards around] - Hey Licht... Licht?

[Licht] - Yeah?

[EAlex] When do you think we'll have time to visit the server again?

[Licht] - Do you want to?  I do have Doc's number

[EAlex] We should go... not just yet, but very soon.... I can feel... something odd happening.

[Polybius] Is rudely plugged into an internet jack while everyone else is eating dinner. He's basically just spaced out at the table next to Slenders left side. His screen flashing random colors as he daydreams.

[Sally] Is playing with her mashed potatoes, making mountains and valley's while the others at the table talk with each other-

[Slender] Is deep in conversation with Offender at the moment-

[Polybius] Tenses visibly as his conciousness picks up on something odd-

[Slender] - Polybius?  Is everything alright?

[Polybius] Opens two eyes on his screen as the background fades to a half black and half white design. His eyes narrow in suspicion, and his gaze flicks to Offender- Hmm.... - He's obviously listening for something the others can't pick up on.

[Offender] - You pick up some good porn or something?

[Polybius] Feigns ignorance, but Offender picks up on the subtext. - Vibrations.... Probably Herobrine doing something stupid again.

[Offender] Chuckles-

[Slender] - Anything I may need to clean up?

[Polybius] Exchanges a look with Offender that speaks volumes- Oh no. It's his mess to deal with. I wouldn't worry about it...

[Slender] - Very well

[Sweet Alex] Knocks softly on Notch's door, it's pouring rain but she's carrying a shield over her head to funnel most of it off-

[Notch] Opens the door in just his pants, it's still dark outside- Alex! Come inside, you're gonna get soaked. What are you doing out here so late?

[Flux] Comes out of the bedroom to see what's going on- Alex?

[Sweet Alex] Hello Flux. I came to tell you something important...

[Flux] - What is it?

[Sweet Alex] I was so excited I couldn't sleep. I wanted to be here. Even if it meant getting rained on and running from mobs. Me and Croca have been meditating, you know, trying to get in tune with the server right?

[Flux] - Oh dear

[Notch] What are you saying Alex?

[Sweet Alex] Notch... it's time.

[batslime]

taggt ( by @wesminator )

Last:

Drink- im schlurpin mtn dew rn

Phone call- my mom to make sure she knew we needed cat food

Text- showing this awful thing to @succubus

Song- ddu-du ddu-du by black pink ( that doesnt even sound the way its spelled and i had to look at it again bc of that )

Time you cried- i dont remember probably while i was watching a movie or smt

Ever:

Been depressed- b o y

Gotten drunk and thrown up- i dont go to parties because i live in the middle of nowhere and ive never been drunk i dont like alcohol enough to get to that point

In the last year have you:

Made new friends- ya

Fallen outta love- YA

Laughed until you cried- no

Found out someone was talking about you- just today my manager told me one of the part time mans texts him to say ive been “acting up” ( i said something to her she didnt get so i told her not to try so hard bc i could smell the smoke coming from her ears ) and he straight up tells her shes stupid fgvhjb

Met someone who changed you- for the worse yes lmao

Found out who your friends are- I’ve found out who my friends aren’t!

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list- Maybe???? ive remade it so many times/ never go on i dont remember if i have any exes besides @succubus

General:

Fave color- im always a slut for pink but i also love rich greens and lavender

How many Facebook friends do you know IRL - why is a tumblr meme probably aged at like teenage-twenty year olds even asking about facebook

Any pets - rn i have three cats

Do you wanna change your name - legally ya

What did you do for your last birthday - I dont remember i was probably still at home jobless and sad

What were you doing last night at midnight - working on miniatures

What is something you can’t wait for - @succubus is coming over next month, next paycheck, to get the energy to work on all my projects again, genji nendroid

What are you listening to - i just left blackpink playing after i had to look that title up

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - idk

Something that gets on your nerves - god everything lately im like a time bomb

Most visited website - Tumblr and Youtube

Hair colour - Black/ dark brown

Hair length - i cut it asymmetrically l recently and shaved it back in march on the sides so its. all over the place

Do you have crush on someone - i have a crush on being a better and more productive and happier and richer person

What do you like about yourself - lets not start this lol

Want any piercing - not rn im too depressed to take care of my body on a regular basis

Blood type-  b+

Nicknames- 

Zodiac - capricorn

Pronouns - She/Her or They/Them is fine.

Fave TV show - I dont watch tv occasionally tho ill go into netflix and play whatevers nice to listen to while i work, like forensic files or movies im really familiar with 

Tattoos - i dont rly like the way they look i think n when i do see designs i like i like seeing them on other ppl, im too fickle for them myself. i used to do designs for ppl tho

Right or left handed - Right-handed

Ever had surgery - to have my teeth removed and tbh id be terrified and i think id really rather just die if i ever needed under-anesthetic under-the-knife surgery for multiple reasons 

Sports - no

Vacation - i like vegas, theres lots of countries id love to see but ive never been out of the states. im too poor and scared to do that rn esp alone

More general:

Eating - i love squishy foods but ive been craving crunchy stuff a lot lately too. ive been getting bowls of ice to take to my room while i work

Drinking- i drink like three things and that mtn dew, water w crystal lite, and match fraps

About to watch- i dont watch stuff much i just play whatever i can presently stand hearing while i work

Waiting to-

Get married - god no i literally just wanna live alone i dont wanna have to see people in my house while im trying to force myself to work or walking around naked i dont wanna be responsible for another person

Which is better:

Hugs or kisses - i dont like to be tocuhed

Lips or eyes - 

Shorter or taller -  

Nice arms or stomach -  these are like. really obscure selections 

Troublemaker or hesitant -  

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger - no

Drunk hard liquor - no

Lost glasses - yeah i just toss em at the end of my bed at night

Turned someone down - um i work retail and look like a teenager i can hardly fucking go in public without some random ugly ass dude thinking he can talk to me lol 

Been arrested - no

Cried when someone died - i dont think so just animals as far as i can recall, i havent lost anyone close.

Fallen for a friend - ya

Do you believe in:

Yourself - Yeh boi!

st sight - for like animals or shows or smt. if youre talking about another person. thats called attraction and calling it love is creepy and unhealthy and an obsolete concept that we need to nip in the ass tbh. i hear a disproportionate amnt of guys to girls say this and its like always someone they meet in public or whatever. im sure if i were desperate and self hating enough to humor any of the losers who try me theyd say it like five years down the line too. you dont know who tf somebody really is til youve known them for years and gone though real shit and seen how they respond. ive always found “love at first sight” creepy 

Kiss on the first date - idk

Angels - maybe

Others:

Best friend’s name - i call her a disgrace and the cause of my death but other ppl call her franky/ alexa 

Eye colour - Brown

Fave movie - 

Fave actors -

franky ive already tagged you like eight times. also im done working for the day. if you wanna be tagged reblog it and tag yourself im not doing anything else for any more people today 

#im sorry im such a downer lately i feel so fucking manic like im tryin but my brains tellin me to bitch about it!

[one-moreminute]

HI, for the ask meme: 1, 2, 5, 6, 7,8, 10, 12,13, 16, 17, 23, 24, 25, 32, 33, 40, 41, 44, 47, 49, 52, 54, 57, 58, 60, 62(and yes I am an idiot for putting that number in here), 66, 68, 69, 70 and 71(good luck)

I’m gonna say now that I really cba to paste in the questions for all of these because tumblrs fucked up again so enjoy this bigass disjointed ask dump. 1 - I’m a back sleeper, but its more comfortable on my side. Go figure. 2 - It depends really? Its normally what I’ve just been listening to, so,, I’ve been listening to BTS again lately though, and I just caught myself humming Aeroplane Pt.2,,, so,,,,5 - My irl friend (@queerly-disappointed, Fuck You) told me he had a tumblr,, and I’d found the text posts that popped up on basically every other social media funny, so I made an account? I regretted it like 60 seconds later6 - I don’t think telling people I used to watch an anime about (gay) volleyballers would go too well, tbh (haikyuu)7 - ,,,okay so tbh I don’t really wanna explain any of my interests there mainly because people are assholes and I’m way too guarded, but wtnv would probably be the easiest because it just sounds like a weird podcast8 - It just switched from Outro: Tear (BTS) to Press Restart (Walk the Moon), so I guess that counts?10 - Wait,, I can pick ANY animal,, and I magically have no allergies,, do you genuinely think I’d stop at one? Okay but I’d probably start of with a dog (I used to have a border collie and they’re the best), like 37 cats, and crows are also really cool but probably not the best pet,, so12 - this is,, a tough one. Uhhh, I genuinely hate pineapple with every fibre of my being and every one of them should be thrown into the void so I never have to taste that sour piece of stringy shit ever again. ,,,I’m okay now13 - catch me avoiding all confrontation ever, so like,, Running Away That Magically Kills Everyone?16 - jejahsjjs salty/savoury food is the best, when I can have it curry is great, but if not just salty crackers are vvv good. I have no idea why, I just really like the taste and they make me feel better, so??17 - mad science huh,, I really like biology and plants are cool, so catch the Mad Botanist and his Army Of Evil Trees (and that one asshole holly bush who keeps spiking everyone bc they’re an asshole and I hate them)23 - I end up obsessively hoarding pens and paper because I always run out. Does that count?24 - Nearest pen’s my good fineliner, which I got last September for school I think?25 - Last game I played is Really Bad Chess (check the App Store, it’s,, something), so unless the zombies end up with like 6 queens I think I’m good 32 - When I was a kid I had this stuffed dog thing and I’d squeezed half of the stuffing out into the arms, so the joins between the body and shit were completely empty. He’s currently living behind my bed, in a box somewhere, I think 33 - Keeping a Secret by Bleachers (I actually really like this song but there aren’t many like,, meaningful lyrics in that way I guess? It’s more the mood, idk if you could pull some out and have it mean the same,, but)And oh God, it's a long walk homeBut I understand why I walk it alone44 - Most orange is UGLY with other colours. I don’t really like red either?47 - When I was really little I had this weird ass dream about clowns? Like it was legit just six different clowns stood in front of a blue background but I was Shook. 49 - Obscure facts,, when ya boi John Snow was trying to prove cholera was in fact Water Bourne And Doesn’t Appear Out Of Nowhere You Fucking Twat back in the 19th Century, he made a map of the deaths in his area due to cholera. Except he found one woman miiiiiles away who was dead from it, even though she was nowhere near any other victims. Why? She had her servants bring water from the infected pump because she liked the taste. 52 - ,,once upon a time my dumbass thought he was straight54 - I bet you couldn’t fucking guess what my favourite fucking curse is, I mean what the fuck, it must be so fucking hard, I have no fucking clue how the fuck you’re gonna guess this 57 - Digital art is genuinely incredible but I can’t do it to save my life 58 - Uhh,, I know how to build a fire?60 - Dinosaurs and aliens are great but dude,, dragons62 - I’m not insulting you, nice try 66 - Honesty, creativity, kindness I guess?68 - Nebula is a good word69 - Fuck alien, marry dragon, kill dinosaur (they had it coming anyway)70 - And here we see a wild gay, in his natural habitat. The specimen appears to be avoiding all responsibility, shielding himself in the familiar digital walls of his phone - but what’s this? He’s picking up a pen - we may be in for a treat today - he’s leaning down to the book open on his desk,, he’s about to write someth- and the pen crashes against the window, thrown from the creature in a moment of impulsiveness and sheer, unbridled stupidity. 71 - How about I don’t do that?So I’ve been doing this on and off for the past like 6 hours and I haven’t proof read this and I can’t remember what I put in this so rip future me