#hating life

[gravehags]

my capstone meeting today was like 15 min long and i didn’t retain anything beyond my advisor being like “and get this to me by thursday ok” sorry what? i was too busy fantasizing about a specific satanic cardinal while you were speaking you want me to huh?

so anyway im now in bed like this

bitch being neurodivergent is a fucking struggle i hate it here

#hating myself #hating my capstone #hating life #etc etc

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

𝔊𝔯𝔞𝔳𝔢 - 𝔗𝔴𝔬 𝔬𝔣 𝔐𝔢

#Grave #Hating Life #Two of Me #Full-length #Release date: #March 25th #1996 #Genre: #Death Metal #Themes: #Death #Gore #Anti-Christianity #Sweden

[stylistic-nightmare]

Grave - Hating Life

#grave #hating life #metal #death metal #music

[dystopicbrain]

— Stranger Things

#quotes #tumblr #screencaps #aphorism #drama #frasi tumblr #frasi #citazioni #depressing quotes #bpd #love #depression #bpd stuff #sadness #mental illness #stranger things #stranger things spoilers #st #stranger things quotes #hating life #in the end #villain #villain quotes #henry creel #eleven #icons #icon #wallpaper #header #vecna

[juiche]

a moment of peace before the whole world shatters 😇

#do you ever cry while touching your pinky to a strand of your besties unruly hair #I call this aesthetic “warm angst” :'D #geto taking the pining to the next level #I imagine this takes place after the big village event #but before gojo finds out about it #just geto taking a moment to say his farewell to the life as he knew it #christmas present for my satosugu obsessed buddy @kymsys who lovingly made me read the manga at gunpoint. I hate you (affectionately) ❤️ #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #satosugu #stsg #satosugu fanart #stsg fanart #gojo satoru #geto suguru #jjk fanart #anime #fanart #digital art #art #artwork #gojo fanart #geto fanart

[sir-meows-a-lot]

throwing up. Is so actually terrible. Worst thing ever

#Soso sick rn #Hating life

[lesbianshepard]

while frustrating, the funniest response to historical erasure of same sex couples is people wildly overcorrecting and assuming any interaction between two men in history was a secret homosexual relationship covered up by Big Historian. i saw someone on r/sapphoandherfriend sincerely ask if Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were lovers.

#no bestie they were not #😭 they HATED each other #though iirc they chilled out later on in life #i dont doubt that there are enemies to lovers hamilton fanfics out there #but like. no. they were not in a gay relationship.

[werewolfetone]

Dear god. please make all superyachts explode tomorrow. amen.

#i hate them and they are ruining my life #do you have any idea what it's like to go to work and have to hear 'ya the harbour is dying because of the superyachts and there- #-isn't a thing we can do about it' #i am this )( close to becoming the joker but with superyachts #anarchism #greatest hits

[dearlingx]

Midterms 2morrow and I haven’t studied at all + I have multiple missing assignments 😋😋

#Irl #other #midterms #hating life

[trickster-kat]

I learned recently that the last 2 managers hired at my job get paid more than me. For the same position. One works more hours than I do, the other works less hours than I do. Both of them have been at the store for less than 5 months, I've been there for 2 years. Hell, I'm the one that trained them in closing the store properly. What the actual fuck? I haven't learned what the 3rd newly hired manager makes, but they have only been on for about 2 weeks. But guess what... I'm training them too!

#work related #ranting #i make .70 more than our lowest paid position. #what the actual fuck #wtf #i do not make a livable wage #hating life

[tsuyoung]

One thing about being a mom is that u have to do it no matter what or else you’re a bad mom. We have no needs, wants, plans, or goals.

That alone makes me want to commit suicide. So u telling me I needed a man’s sperm to have a child but once I have that child I’m alone responsible for it. I have to put my mental health, physical health, emotional health to the side just because I have kids. But the dad gets to go on with life like this never happened? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

#mommy issues #baby mama #hating life #goth fashion #depressing post #dead inside #singlemom

[tarysande]

when no one has written the exact fic to scratch a very specific emotional itch and you absolutely do not have time to write it yourself but you still want to read it dammit

#it’s not even my usual fandoms I hate this ugh #grumble grumble #fandom life problems lol

[scripture-pictures]

#jeremiah 20:17 #hating life #prophets wishing never born #daily bread #nightly bread #god is love #bible

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

#jason todd #Bruce Wayne #dick Grayson #Damian Wayne #tim Drake #clark kent #Batman #alfred pennyworth #Bruce: he my little baby #jason: I’m 6’2 and have the ability to kill you if I wanted #Bruce: my baby my little son #jason: GOD YOURE SO EMBARRASSING DAD #jason was probably the most behaved child before he went boom boom and I stand by that #he enjoyed school #most likey hated it when he missed it #and he loves classic literature??? #bros a huge nerd #yea dick is all smiles but probably gave Bruce’s near death heart attacks everytime he swung from chandeliers and rooftops #jason just wanted to live his life in the library reading his fav books and homework

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[gaznull]

.

#i dont know why i bother #im fucking hopeless #hating life #and i dont want to exist rn