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dissygif · 1 year

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Here’s a little link page to my blog’s links, tags and downloads. :)

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Young Hercules

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

Xena: Warrior Princess

⇢ Characters: Xena | Gabrielle | Callisto | Cleopatra | Homer/Orion

⇢ Relationships:

Legend of the Seeker

The Almighty Johnsons

⇢ Relationships: Anders/Dawn | Ty/Dawn

⇢ Episodes:

Cleopatra 2525

⇢ Relationships: Hel/Creegan | Sarge/Cleo | Creegan/Cleo

Jack of All Trades

⇢ Episodes: All

Kodenavn Hunter

Season one

American Horror Story

Here

A Cry in the Woods (2004) (Here)

Renegades (1989) (Here)

Men At Work (1990) (Here)

Dakota (1988) (Here)

Young Guns (1988) (Here)

Heathers (1988) (Here)

Priest (2011) (Here)

The Secret Garden (1993) (Here)

Silent Hill (2006) (Here)

Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) (Here)

Star Wars (Here)

Disorganized Crime (1989) (Here)

Tango & Cash (1989) (Here)

Gleaming the Cube (1989) (Here)

🌈 LGBT+ movies (Here)

Young Hercules on Gdrive:

Show | Movie | Extra episodes from H:tLJ

#about blog #tags #links #resources #gifs #hercules the legendary journeys #legend of the seeker #young hercules #cleopatra 2525 #jack of all trades #kodenavn hunter #kieferlou #the almighty johnsons #xena warrior princess #american horror story

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ao3feed-scorbus · 8 months

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The goddess not so ordinary

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/9siQxn1 by AMA1806 Long before Percy Jackson, the daughter of Zeus and Hera was born, named Selena and created as a hope and a protection for the gods in case something bad happens. Her sister Eris, jealous, threw her into the world of humans. She had to face challenges living as a "human" for thousand years and always sought to pursue her destiny. After saving Percy and Annabeth from vampires, things get complicated between the 2 saviors. One day, Selena encounters the camp half-blood, and makes many friends and enemies along the way. How will she be able to overcome all the threats? What is her destiny? The goddess not so ordinary (Part 1): Vampires at Camp Half-Blood + Heroes turn into villains The End (Part 2): Eris as Queen of Tartarus + End of the gods I'm not my mother (Part 3) : Selena's daughter + Selena's evil clone - In a world where there are no more gods and the humans know that you are a demigod, Melissa encounters more challenges when discovers that her mother's evil clone is back. Words: 4184, Chapters: 10/?, Language: English Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M Characters: Percy Jackson, Selena, Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson), Clarisse La Rue, Derek, Eris, Nico di Angelo, Will Solace, Maleficent (Disney), Harry, Ares Cabin (Percy Jackson), Aphrodite (Percy Jackson), Hades (Percy Jackson), Achilles (Percy Jackson), Zeus (Percy Jackson), Thalia Grace (Percy Jackson), Merlin, Merlin (Merlin), Patroclus (Percy Jackson), Hercules (Percy Jackson), Iolaus (H:TLJ), Kronos (Percy Jackson), Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson/Clarisse La Rue, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Achilles/Patroclus (Percy Jackson), Achilles/Patroclus, Achilles/Patroclus (Song of Achilles), Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter Additional Tags: Angst, Romance, Jealousy, Rivalry, Death, Plot Twists, Vampires, Dead Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson), Possessive Behavior, Obsessive Behavior, Dark Percy Jackson, Dark Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Dead Jason Grace, Character Turned Into Vampire, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dark Albus Severus Potter read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/49487947

#ao3feed #fanfic #scorbus #harrypotter #albus #scorpius

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silverbld · 5 years

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Iolaus Appreciation Post 💜💜💜

#iolaus #hercules #hercules: the legendary journeys #h:tlj #did i fucking invent these tags?#wtf #tv shows #classic #lol #bruce campbell #michael hurst #dean o'gorman #kili

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juniperpomegranate · 6 years

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I think it says something that 90% of the posts one finds under the “Hercules: the Legendary Journey” tag is either a) Lucy Lawless, b) Bruce Campbell, c) Dean O’Gorman from Young Hercules, d) Gina Torres, e) Kevin Smith, f) Alexandra Tydings, g) other guest stars and co-stars like Michael Hurst, and h) Kevin Sorbo, more or less in that order.

I’m just sayin’, is all.

#h:tlj #hercules the legendary journeys #seriously though #kevin sorbo is kind of an asshole irl #and his hercules was kind of blandy mcblanderson #and it didn't age nearly as well as xena #but it did have all of the excellent actors mentioned above #a-g anyway

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jenxwp · 3 years

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‘A Necessary Evil’ NZ script

Hey guys! We are finally up to the last episode of the Destiny-Quest-Necessary Evil arc, and boy, are we going out with a bang. Until I started reading through this script I didn’t realise how this story must have evolved! There are so many differences, so this post is going to be long.. #sorrynotsorry.

No, honestly… clear your calendar for the day and grab a coffee because we are going for a ride.. but if you stick with me it will be WELL worth it. 🤯

So first off, a little bit about this script. This one is special to me because it was used on-set in New Zealand and I don’t have many like that. How do I know? The two ring binding on the left is the main give-away along with the fax detailing. The script has seen better days, but considering its 25 years old and been around New Zealand and made its way across the seas to Australia- I think it’s going good!

Who is Russell? Well that’s a mystery I have been trying to work out for many years. I have spoken to people who worked on set and it is still an enigma.

At the top of each page you can see that the document was faxed from LA through to New Zealand on November 8th 1996. I have covered up the number- not sure if it’s still active, but I don’t know international numbers and better safe than sorry!

Interestingly, the shooting schedule for this episode was from November 26th to December 5th with 8 shooting days allocated. Whether this changed because of Lucy’s accident I am not sure, but these are the dates I have on my season 2 main unit production schedule. With this script, I am not sure if it is a final copy because it is annotated ‘2nd draft’. Scripts will go through many versions before the final, but I would have thought because the writers are in LA, only the final would have gone to NZ. But then again the script is dated November 22nd.. which is weeks AFTER it was faxed. Ok there is some voodoo shit going on here. AND if shooting was to begin on the 26th, SURELY it was finalised by the 22nd… but then again.. *I* am a last minute kinda gal so I can’t really judge.. and... Argh! Help! If anyone has a ‘shooting draft’ for this episode, please give me a shout-out- we can compare!

I have digressed. Alright, first up- the teaser. It is so different to what we end up with on screen:

Interestingly, instead of having the dialogue between Gabrielle and Ephiny regarding the ‘Amazon parades’, we have some friendly banter between Xena and Gabrielle about sleeping in late and sleeping in trees. It’s good light-hearted fun.

In the script, Velasca has a lot more meaty dialogue. Which to be honest, I am glad they reduced. Statements like “gift from the gods… to MAKE A GOD” is so much more powerful compared to what is written above. That’s my opinion, but it’s so interesting to read what was originally intended. There was also much more emphasis on Xena being injured in this initial battle which is brought up many times in this script.

The next scene after the intro is also so different to what we saw! I am just going to leave this here...

I have mixed feelings about this. I do feel like the conversation with Xena and Gabrielle is forced, and to be honest, what we got on screen was more genuine. Those two can convey more in one look than 5 pages of dialogue.

Moving on.. Callisto and her pet rat in the Labyrinth of the Gods!

Hear me out. I am glad this changed. I am one of those ones that enjoys Hercules. Let me make clear that I don’t like Sorbo… but I grew up watching the action back-2-back and I will still watch it on occasion. Xena is 10000% times better than Hercules, but I just love the entire WORLD that they create- X:WP, H:TLJ, and Young Hercules. So I like the seamless continuity.

This next one is interesting because this replaces the scene where the Amazons ‘offer’ up Ephiny at night time. I do like the original…

Next up is a bit more of an explanation why they are going in a hole to retrieve Callisto.. continuity.. heh 😄

BUT. I don’t like the implication that Gabrielle would leave Xena? I know it was in jest but I really just don’t think given the circumstances they would joke about that. Or am I being overly analytical?

Down into Callisto’s tomb…

I just wish we saw Xena break off a stalagmite… meanwhile we have Gabrielle and a rabbit up top.

(gifs from @aphroditexwp)

‘Nuff said.

Next up we have a real change from the screen. In the script, Velasca destroys a temple to Demeter, not Artemis.

Artemis makes sense… goddess of the Amazons. Lets stick with the latter shall we?

Now this bit is good. In this script, the manner in which Xena tells the story of Cirra to the villagers and Callisto’s reaction is very different to what we see. Callisto is much more involved.

I would like to have seen how this played out. I greatly admire Hudson’s acting of Callisto because she is such a loose cannon. You never know how it will be portrayed. But that look she gives in the episode- that almost robotic moment; it just makes the scene for me and we would NEVER have got that with this dialogue. So is it greedy of me to want both?

So the scene in the ‘mountain arena’ (as I am going to dub it) isn’t too different, but since Callisto gets blown into pieces I feel it is worth visiting:

Following on from this, we also have SUCH a different campfire scene:

I have reservations about how good a ‘general’ Callisto would have been. I think she was much more impulsive and wouldn’t have sat around discussing tactics. She definitely wouldn’t have discussed things on the same level as Xena. I know these differences are dealt with in the scene but I really just don’t see it. I would love to know what others think of this because maybe I am bias… NOTHING could be beat the campfire scene between Gabrielle and Callisto.

I wasn’t going to include this next snippet because I know this post is already very long but… Chariot!!

Alright. Here we are. The penultimate fight. Buckle up. THIS IS SO DIFFERENT. Lets read:

… so XENA is the one on the rope bridge telling GABRIELLE to cut the ropes! AND SHE DOES! I am just shook.

Okay, final scene back in the Amazon village:

What do you prefer? The Wizard of Oz version or the ‘Less-Wizardy’?

I do really like the imagery of Velasca and Callisto imprisoned like flies in amber, but I am unsure if CGI at the time would have done it justice. The gutteral screams and laughs really get you in the feels in that closing scene. But from what I remember, I think there was intentions to have Velasca resurrected from the lava like Callisto was at some point. At least it was left open and I would have loved her return. Imagine if she came back after the 25-year time jump with no understanding of ANYTHING between Season 2 and Season 6. That would have been fun.

Alrighty guys, if you’re still with me, THANK YOU. Its been an epic one. You deserve a stiff drink.

Until next time xo

#xena #Xena Warrior Princess #script #xenites #production materials #new zealand #lucy lawless #renee o'connor #hudson leick

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littlebitofwitchery · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Jelsa - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game), Disney - All Media Types, DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), Frozen (Disney Movies), Tangled (2010), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Brave (2012), Beauty and the Beast (2017), Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Rise of the Guardians (2012), Mulan (1998), Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Elsa (Disney)/Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood), Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Merida (Disney), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Adam/Belle (Disney), Elsa/Hans (Disney) Characters: Elsa, Anna, Kristoff (Disney), Rapunzel, Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood), Elsa (Disney), Anna (Disney), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider, Adam (Disney), Beast (Disney), Belle (Disney), Cinderella, Gaston (Disney), Hades (H:TLJ), Kuzco (Disney), Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III Additional Tags: Jelsa - Freeform, Hogwarts AU, Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts Summary:

Hogwarts is left stunned when the Tri-Wizard tournament is resurrected and Anyone can enter. When two new schools are housed at Hogwarts and the tournament stakes high, there is no easy tasks and no guaranteed survival. With love, friendhsip and drama being tested to how will this young up and coming witches and wizards fair.

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scarstarved · 1 year

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Ted Raimi as Joxer II Hercules: The Legendary Journeys · 4x5 “Stranger in a Strange World”

#hercules: the legendary journeys #h:tlj #herculesedit #xena: warrior princess #xenaedit #ted raimi #tedraimiedit #joxer the mighty #joxer ii #filmedit #filmgifs #tvedit #tvgifs #tvandfilm #televisiongifs #cinematv #cinemapix #gifs*

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ao3feed-helsa · 4 years

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Disney Dreamworks Hogwarts

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/3kcDgKH

by Littlebitwitchery

Words: 1263, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Jelsa - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game), Disney - All Media Types, DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), Frozen (Disney Movies), Tangled (2010), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Brave (2012), Beauty and the Beast (2017), Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Rise of the Guardians (2012), Mulan (1998), Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Elsa, Anna, Kristoff (Disney), Rapunzel, Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood), Elsa (Disney), Anna (Disney), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider, Adam (Disney), Beast (Disney), Belle (Disney), Cinderella, Gaston (Disney), Hades (H:TLJ), Kuzco (Disney), Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III

Relationships: Elsa (Disney)/Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood), Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Merida (Disney), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Adam/Belle (Disney), Elsa/Hans (Disney)

Additional Tags: Jelsa - Freeform, Hogwarts AU, Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/3kcDgKH

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #helsa #hans x elsa #elsa x hans

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silvermoon-scrolls · 1 year

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New Year’s Resolutions

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys/Xena: Warrior Princess

Wordcount: 1000 Rating: G, silly Warning: None, except that it's written in a very 90's fanfic kind of way

Timeline: Takes place shortly after the Christmas specials, A Star To Guide Them in H:TLJ and A Solstice Carol in X:WP, though that's not particularly important. Also on AO3

It was the night of New Year's Eve, and the light of the full moon fell upon a hill where four friends had gathered. Gabrielle took her eyes from the stars she'd been watching and turned to face the two men. "So, what have you guys been up to this past year?"

Iolaus shrugged. "You know, the usual."

"Like what?"

Hercules exchanged a knowing smile with his friend and decided to go first. "Well, I got to be a spirit for a day."

"And I got to be purple," the lighter man put in.

"I played a prince."

"And I a king."

"I almost got killed as I was swallowed by a sea-serpent, for the second time."

"And I did get killed, for the third time."

The younger woman exchanged a look with Xena. "A-ha, that 'usual'."

"How 'bout you, what have you been up to?" Iolaus asked, eyes dancing with mirth.

"Well, I don't wanna brag," the dark warrior said with a smug smile, "but we died, too."

"Really?! Your first?" Iolaus' voice revealed his somewhat unnatural excitement for the topic.

"Yeah. Hey, did you also feel that, hm..." the bard stopped to search for the right word, "-tingle? You know, just before that, uhm, ‘whooshing’ sensation?"

"Yes! I know exactly what you mean! I've been wondering-”

"A-hum, excuse me." Hercules tried to get the attention of the two enraptured blondes. "Can't we find a more pleasant subject to talk about?" he asked uncomfortably.

"Ha, you're just jealous 'cause you never died," Iolaus informed him with a wink.

Hercules rolled his eyes and ignored his friend. "Did you perhaps do anything else? Besides dying?"

Gabrielle tapped a finger against her lip. "We did became bacchaes for a while," she said after some thinking.

"And I'm only just recovered from a body-exchange with Callisto," Xena offered.

"Sounds like you've been kind of busy, you too," Iolaus stated with a grin.

There was a short silence while the foursome in good humor contemplated the nature of their unusual lives.

"Do you think it's a new year yet?" the bard asked after a while.

Iolaus looked up at the moon. "Hard to tell, but I guess now's as good a time as any."

They all exchanged warm smiles and in unison wished each other a happy new year.

"So, any New Year's resolutions?" Gabrielle wanted to know.

"Well, Herc and I decided to make up each other’s resolutions this year." Iolaus turned to his friend, beaming with excitement. "So, what do I got?"

Hercules smiled before answering. "To stay out of trouble."

"And you expect me to keep that?" The hunter sounded beyond doubtful.

"For a whole year? Of course not. But I was hoping for maybe a week or two."

"I'll do my best,” Iolaus snorted. Then his eyes lit up and he broke out into a broad grin. “And as for your resolution, you should flirt more." He winked at his friend. “No strings attached, just harmless flirting.” Putting his hand against his chest he added sagely, “It’s good for the soul you know.”

The demigod sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I can't believe I didn't see that one coming.”

“Oh c’mon, Hercules.” Gabrielle tried elbowing the demigod lightly in the ribs, which had about the same outcome as if she’d elbowed a stone wall. “It’s fun.” As if to demonstrate she did an exaggerated wink at Iolaus who grinned and waggled his eyebrows in return.

Ignoring the two blondes who seemed to have launched into a pantomime involving increasingly ridiculous and flirtatious behavior, Hercules turned to his more mature companion. “Xena, how 'bout you? Have you got any New Year's resolution?"

"No," she stated firmly, not taking her scowling eyes off the laughing blondes.

"I could be wrong, but I’m guessing Gabrielle's the one doing most of the household work, isn't she? Maybe you could promise to, I don't know, cook twice a week? Something like that," Hercules suggested, ever on the quest for a more fair and equal world.

The tall woman opened her mouth to reply, but her friend was faster. "I thought a New Year's resolution was supposed to do good, not food poison you."

Xena chose to ignore the younger woman. "I could promise to do the laundry more often, that's as far as I'll go."

"Actually, washing our clothes is the one thing you do help with, and you're not very good at it. I don't understand how you manage to shrink my top every single time."

"It's not that hard."

"What?"

"I said, neither do I."

Gabrielle looked suspiciously at the warrior princess, but the tall woman acted as if she didn't notice. "So, what's your resolution then?" she asked sweetly.

"I haven't been able to come up with anything good," the bard answered regrettably.

"You know, if you travel with Xena, you ought to learn how to defend yourself." Iolaus didn't see the two women exchange a private smile. "If you want to, I can teach you how to use that stick for more than walking," he offered.

"Thank you, I would love that,” Gabrielle answered somewhat exaggeratedly. “Hey, why don't we have our first lesson right now?"

"Sure, why not?" the blond man said with an oblivious smile as he followed the bard a few paces away from Xena and Hercules.

"I had this 'stick'," Gabrielle smiled at the word, "for some time now, and I already picked up a few things. Mind if I show you before we start?"

"Of course not. Go ahead."

The young woman started twirling the staff elegantly through the air around her. Iolaus just stared in shocked surprise. "You know, I think there's something I forgot to mention earlier when we discussed the previous year," she said with a soft voice.

"U-huh." Iolaus still couldn't believe his eyes. Suddenly he felt his feet being swept off the ground, and he landed on this back with a thud.

Gabrielle held her staff against the surprised man's throat. "I'm an amazon princess now."

The hunter called out to his friend, but his eyes never left the staff. "Herc, I think I just broke my New Year's resolution."

~The End

January 2002

#fanfic #hercules the legendary journeys #xena warrior princess #hercules #iolaus #xena #gabrielle #xena fanfiction #my stuff

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jeanjauthor · 4 years

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No Fandom Flame Wars, But...

...I am prefacing this with the statement that I am NOT going to participate in any arguments over ANY of this. You have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to my own. Respect that. There is NO need for a fandom flame war of any sort (and y’all will be ignored if you try to ignite one with me). There is room for all sorts of viewpoints.

With that said...

Time for one of those Controversial Opinions™* that we keep seeing on Tumblr and Twitter, etc, ad nauseam...and here is my own (potentially very but who cares) Controversial Opinion:

I like the way The Witcher series has been plotted and filmed.

You don’t have to read any further (and I’m implementing a cut to avoid #spoilers for those who haven’t seen it yet), but that’s my take on it, and the TL;DR version of why is because The Show Is Making Me Think About All The Things In It.

This is a rare thing these days, because so much is spoon-fed to us in other shows...but I like it. And for me...it works.

The rest is behind a cut. Be warned, if you click the Keep Reading, you’ll be entering the *spoiler*-filled mists on those archaic medieval maps where cartographers usually put warnings like “Here Be Dragons” and such...

And yes, that IS a deliberate pun. *spoiler spoiler spoiler!* It was also a good episode, and yes, I want that tent. I just don’t want to have to transport it physically, yeesh...trust me, I KNOW how much tent that is to try to transport, the tent on the inside. (The one on the outside still requires a horse at the very least, but only one horse.). I’ve been playing around in the SCA, medieval society, for decades!

Anyway...on to why I like the series:

At first, I was hella confused. I literally had to rewind and repeat several time the scene where Renfri talks of Calanthe just having won her battle...when earlier, I’d seen Ciri telling Calanthe that “when you were my age”... (Which, on a side note, is what I thought was the age of 14 years old. Dunno why I stuck on that number, but apparently in the chronology she’s actually 11yo, I guess, when Ciri’s storyline takes place? Since Geralt left 12 years before, when she was still a nausea-stirring little zygote or whatever...but I digress.)

So the first episode confused me. But holy hellz ballz, the fight scene was freaking awesome! That was like...some grandmaster fight choreographer’s fightporn wetdream! Every move Geralt made in the fight against Renfri’s men was believable. Fast, realistic, hella good choreography! ...Gross, gory, and at a few points I could see hints of the CGI used, but I was actually rather grateful to see some of the CGI, because that kept me from flinching too much...though certain scenes later on definitely made me Look Away.

[Btw, for anyone watching, #spoiler for #implied #suicide #attempts. Also, magical #cannibalism, yuck.]

Anyway, that first episode was fascinatingly good in its fight choreography, Geralt was pretty to watch, and I found myself interested in what was going on.

I’ll also admit I was confused enough to go looking for spoilers, and found some comment somewhere explaining that the different scenes were being told non-sequentially. That each different main character was in a different time period. The post I read reassured the readers that, if we paid attention, we could figure out which stories were being told in which era, the more we went along.

THAT made sense to me...and I decided I’d give it a try...but to be honest, I wasn’t entirely wasn’t sure if they could pull it off.

I do think that is what has put a lot of people off, the way the story is initially being told, by the way. Some people have compared it to a (grimdark) version of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys...but I really don’t think that’s a decent comparison. Not because H:TLJ is better or worse in any way, but because it and X:WP were their own things, without consistent story-threads woven throughout each and every episode as a single tapestry.

...That’s actually a pretty good comparison. In fact, it’s so good, let’s use this as a metaphor for the difference between the two.

This is Hercules: The Legendary Journeys as tapestry art:

Here are several different tapestries. Each one is full of plantlife and people and animals. Sometimes the animals are mythical, like unicorns. Sometimes there are hunting dogs and horses. Often times there are flowers and fruits. A number of the tapestries have similar objects repeated over and over from one to the next...but for the most part, they are separate stories even if they have similar themes. This is H:TLJ. A series of separate or similar-themed tapestries. Sometimes you’ll even get some telling a progression...but for the most part, they’re a bunch of different tapestries woven by different storytellers.

This, on the other hand, is The Witcher as a tapestry:

...Most people will recognize this as the Bayeux Tapestry (Do NOT @ me about it being technically an embroidery, not an actual woven tapestry, shush!)...but what you may not realize is that I’ve taken pieces of it from the very long single image posted on Wikipedia (located here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayeux_Tapestry just click on the images on that page, click through, and find the really long super skinny horizontal version).

More than that, I’ve taken pieces from it, and mixed up where they come from in the chronology...but it is all still one and the same story.

These seemingly disconnected bits and pieces are like finding a bunch of chests in an old storage room in a cathedral somewhere, opening them up, and finding folded bits of cloth with magnificent images embroidered on them...but not knowing that you’ve opened the chest with panels 4-6 first, and that the next chest you open has panels 25-27, and the third chest you open has panels 13-15. You see these images, they’re fascinating, yet they seem disjointed and unconnected...but...they’re not.

We just have to put them into the right order to tell the full tale.

This is something we don’t get in storytelling. Not very often, at least! The storytelling invites us to put the pieces together. Now, I’ll freely admit they could’ve done a somewhat better job in the very first episode, and finding that spoiler-warning that the chronology is mixed up did help...but I do like to think I would’ve figured it out as I went along.

Yes, I only just started watching the series, after all 8 episodes were out of the first season (prequel season? whatever) so that all the spoilers were already out, yadda yadda. And yes, it’ll suck having to wait for the next season. I am not sure if they’ll keep telling the storyline in this same open-a-random-tapestry-chest fashion, but since I do know (haven’t watched it yet, but it’s next in the queue) that in the 8th episode, Geralt and Ciri finally meet (and he’s already met Yennefer), that we finally have most of the pieces spread out on the walls.

They may not be originally laid out in their proper order...but we have enough to put things in order. And that, dear readers, fans, etc, is our job to do, in the way this story is being told.

It is not for everyone. I freely admit it. But it does make those of us who stick with it invest more of ourselves in the story.

We’re the archaeologist finding these treasure chests full of these tapestry stories, and we’re just now realizing that this is a HUGE SINGLE TAPESTRY, with massively intricate details...some of which are just lending color to a scene, but others of which will be referenced later, or be a foreshadowing of something to come, or a flashback of what has already occurred.

That is why I truly like how this story is being told.

It’s not something I could enjoy within each and every story across all of creation...but I don’t need a bloody Bayeux Tapestry each and every time.

I got to puzzle out some really cool things. I got to experience several aha! moments. I had a number of wtf was that?? moments, too...and lord knows I got plenty of delicious eye-candy. (Also the scene of the half-paralyzed bard dropped into the midst of the orgy scene was freakin’ hilarious, because you know he was being tormented, heaven-and-hell all at one and the same time, the lustiest night of his life...and he could not participate, poor fellow.

Also, “Toss a coin to your Witcher” and the other songs are actually pretty decently done. I love the fact the actor playing Jaskier is the one actually singing these end-credit songs.

...One last thing. Some of the people don’t appear to age. That might give the impression that most do not...and that did lend some to the illusion of chronology confusion. In truth, most folks in this universe do age, but they’re mostly background characters. Calanthe and her husband showed signs of aging, Mousesack certainly aged, and Yennefer gets in a good crack at the bard about his crow’s feet, a common sign of aging, if not one instantly visible to most. (Since he doesn’t get many close-ups, you can’t tell he has crow’s feet...but neither can you not tell...so that and the quality & style of his clothes changing help tell you that he’s been aging.)

To be honest, your genetics does quite a lot to determine how “old” you will look. I knew a woman who looked like she was 92 (roughly the age my grandmother died) when she was actually only 62 (about a year before she died). At the same time, I knew a woman who was celebrating her 90th Birthday, but she looked like she was at most in her late 60s.

Some people don’t get grey hairs until they’re in their 60s. Some turn grey-haired in their 20s or 30s. When I think back on the differences in appearance for people like Calanthe, she did look younger in the earlier era scenes...and she did look older in the later era scenes. Plus, the better your diet and exercise are, the healthier and thus younger you’ll look...so it’s expected that a queen wouldn’t age nearly as fast as a commoner.

Additionally, when you have magically modified characters who cannot age, and they’re the main / primary characters...well, we really don’t spend nearly as much time looking at the secondary & tertiary characters. Yet they did put some effort into aging those characters appropriately.

So with that observation made, I think they did a reasonably good job...because they’re also dealing with the constraints of a production budget. Netflix took a risk on this series. They sunk a lot into the special effects, blood splatters, choreography, magic effects, etc. But I think it’s also a case of deliberately obfuscating the puzzle pieces. They didn’t go in for the overblown obviously older effects (makeup, CGI, whatever)...because they want their viewers to think about what we’re watching.

But I’ll bet that, if we go back and take a second look...we’ll see the little details of non-immortal (or at least regular lifespan) folks actually aging, if they get to appear in two different timelines. When you have a story this large and this long, however...not everyone will get to reappear.

Anyway...that’s my Controversial Opinion™. I genuinely like the way The Witcher has been told in its first season. For me, it genuinely works. I’ve had fun discovering and opening all the tapestry-boxes, and am having fun trying to fit together all the puzzle pieces of each story section so that I have the full chronology in my head.

I like the amount of time that I’ve had to invest in this story to make sense of it.

...And I especially like the use of the word “Fuck.” If you’ve watched the series, you know which one I mean. The one that was quietly said, in the very quiet room, in front of a whole bunch of very quiet people.

Very well said.

*applauds*

#*fake trademark but you gotta admit it's a common meme atm #The Witcher spoilers #mention of spoilers containing implied or off-screen attempted suicide

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