#got that found family thing going for it

[to-be-a-dreamer]

Hello Newsies fandom, for your casual viewing pleasure (and because apparently some people think headcanoning the Jacobs family as Jewish is antisemitic), here is the exact passage from the official Newsies novel that states Davey is Jewish and Jack is Irish :D

It's not a headcanon, it's literally written in the source material and, even if it wasn't, this fandom has been headcanoning characters' ethnicities based on their names since 1992. They're street kids living in New York City in 1899, they're going to be a diverse group and the best thing we have to go on is their names. I know my group of mutuals headcanon at least two other characters as Jewish, somewhat if not entirely based on their names.

Like, I don't know how else to explain that headcanoning a character with a traditionally Jewish name isn't "stereotyping" it's literally just being like "oh hey, this whole family has really common Jewish names, it would be fun if they're Jewish" and then we all move on with our lives because it's also literally canon. Like, it would be bad if we were headcanoning a character as Jewish purely because they exhibit behaviors that are also associated with negative Jewish stereotypes but that's literally not what's happening here. Also I'm pretty sure it's mentioned in the non-dialogue parts of the script somewhere but I don't have access to that.

In conclusion, don't be weird about people headcanoning characters as minorities, it's not stereotyping it's literally just people existing.

(Also, I am not Jewish, so I do not at all claim to be any kind of authority on representation. If any Jewish bloggers want to weigh in I will happily read and be open to learning!)

#not to vague post on main but i'm feeling confrontational today #my old post about character details confirmed in the newsies novel was going around again and i got excited until i found out why #the jacobs family is canonically jewish and even if they weren't it's not a weird thing to headcanon #if you're going to police people's headcanons at least go after the ones that are actually harmful to disenfranchised communities #tell me if you want to hear my jewish mush headcanons because i have a lot of thougths about him that i don't think i've ever posted #also if anyone wants my pdf of the newsies novel just dm me it's such a fun read #david jacobs #newsies #92sies #livesies #newsies novel

[ariastarke]

You want SJM to write another book about training to fight because you can’t comprehend a female character being badass and having agency unless she holds a sword.

I want SJM to write a book about Elain training to be a spy because it plays on themes of everyone underestimating her, her powers as a seer, claiming agency in the NC, becoming a hidden weapon, and still maintaining the roots of her character.

We are not the same.

#acotar. elain archeron #pro elain #elriel #we already got the feyre and nesta found family books where is elain’s #i’m suffering #also i feel like there will probably be those self defense lessons as well but like #ESPIONAGE?? FORBIDDEN ROMANCE?? #i think about what sjm said about the wwii spies daily #also i could go on for HOURSSS about the parallels between the way feyre nesta and elain train and why emphasis is put on different things #for different sisters #but maybe that’s for another day 👀 #hush m #book. acotar

[lilaccatholic]

Physically I'm here but mentally I'm clawing the eyes out of everyone who talks crap about their children on the internet and posts them in their most vulnerable moments for clout

#i just saw a video of a like eleven or twelve year old girl approach her mom's car when she got home from work and without even saying hello #to her kid she yelled at her to go inside so she could talk to her husband first and then shouted at the kid when she said her dad put her #through hell that day. is she probably overreacting bc shes a kid and she doesnt have get emotional regulation yet? absolutely. but also? #as the kid who knew that if i didnt get to my mom with my side of things first that my dad would twist things to make himself look like the #victim in a situation i promise you that baby girl isnt feeling heard and that would be sucky but normal on its own. the type of thing #families work through together yknow? but to post that on the internet??? to be recording when you come home knoeing there are problems in #your house and wanting to put online forever a moment in time where there are really strained relationships among members of your family?? #especially when it's the relationship btwn your husband and your child??? nope. im sorry. uh uh. #that kid deserves better than that. your husband deserves better than that. everyone deserves better than to have their really vulnerable #moments shared on the internet with strangers #like. i think about how i felt as a kid when i found out my parents had told a relative something i considered private. how embarrassed and #betrayed i felt. the thought that EVERYONE would see that instead of just my dad's relatives or w/e? #bby girl im incandescent with rage #anyway #lilac rambles

[blueskittlesart]

any thoughts on how once again zelda was robbed of her agency because her "father figure" didn't listen to her? even if rauru was kinder to her than her father. and that she had sonia who was patient and loving for a little while before she died (just like her mother). i know rauru apologizes for his hubris but still, i wish we saw zelda be upset about it. and even if zelda was such a big part of the quest she still literally sacrificed her humanity once again because of someone else's mistake- because rauru literally didn't listen to the girl from the future that warned you that shit was going to go down. o know nintendo just loves putting zelda inside crystals and stones but i wish we got something better. even if it was her decision to become a dragon... did she have any other choice? it really just feels like they robbed her of agency again just like botw and the games before

i've been trying to figure out how to answer this one. because there are two ways i could analyze this plot point, either from a writer's perspective or an in-story perspective, but neither of those lead to me fully agreeing with your interpretation? I think there's definitely something to be said about zelda consistently being pushed aside in these games, but. well. ok let's get into it ig

from a writer's perspective, I do honestly have quite a bit of sympathy for the zelda devs as they attempt to navigate the modern political landscape with these games. The cyclical lore, though canonized relatively recently, holds them to a standard of consistency in their games in terms of certain key elements. one of those key elements is that there has to be a princess, and that princess must somehow be the main macguffin of the game. The player must chase her, and the end goal of the game must be to reunite the player and the princess. In 1986 this was an incredibly easy sell. women didn't need to be characters. players were content with saving a 2-dimensional princess whose only purpose was to tell them "good job!" at the end. but as society advances, that princess becomes a much more difficult character to write while adhering to the established overarching canon. (as a side note: i don't necessarily believe that the writers SHOULD be held to the standards of that canon. I think deviating from it in certain areas would be a good change of pace. but i also recognize that deviations from the formula are widely hated by the loz playerbase and that they're trying to make money off these games, so we're working under the established rule that the formula must be at least loosely adhered to.) Modern fans want a princess who is a person, who has agency and makes decisions and struggles in the same way the hero does. but modern fans ALSO want a game that follows the established rules of the canon. so we need a princess who is a real character but who can ALSO serve as a macguffin within the narrative, something that is inherently somewhat objectifying.

the two games that i think do the best job writing a princess with agency are skyward sword and botw (based on your ask, our opinions differ there lol. hear me out) in both games, we have a framing event which seperates zelda and link, but in both games, that separation was ZELDA'S CHOICE. skyward sword zelda runs away from link out of fear of hurting him. botw zelda chooses to return to the castle alone to allow link the time he needs to heal. sksw kinda fumbled later on by having ghirahim kidnap her anyway, but. i said BEST not PERFECT. botw zelda I think is the better example because, with the context of the memories, she's arguably MORE of a character than link is. we see her struggles, her breakdowns, her imperfection, specifically we see her struggle with her lack of agency within the context of the game itself. when she steps in front of link in the final memory, and when she chooses to return to the castle, those are some of the first choices we see her make almost completely free of outside influence; a RECLAMATION of her agency (within the narrative) after years of having it stripped from her. from an objective viewer's standpoint, this writing decision still means she is absent from 90% of the game and that she has little control over her actions for the duration of the player's journey. however I think this is just about the best they could have done to create a princess with agency and a real character arc while still keeping the macguffin formula intact--you're not really SAVING zelda in botw. SHE is the one that is saving YOU; when you wake up on the plateau with no memories, too weak to fight bokoblins, let alone calamity ganon. the reason you are allowed to train and heal in early-game botw is because SHE is in the castle holding ganon back, protecting YOU. When you enter the final fight, you're not rescuing zelda, you're relieving her of her duty. taking over the work she's been doing for the past hundred years. in the final hour, you both work in tandem to defeat ganon. while this isn't a PERFECT example of a female character with agency and narrative weight, i think it's a pretty good one, especially in the context of save-the-princess games like loz.

as for totk, you put a lot of emphasis on rauru not believing zelda and taking action immediately, which, again, from an objective standpoint, i understand. but even when we're writing characters with social implications in mind, those character's actions still need to... make sense. Rauru was a king ruling over what he believed to be a perfectly peaceful kingdom. zelda literally fell out of the sky, landed in front of him, claimed to be his long-lost granddaughter, and then told him that some random ruler of a fringe faction in the desert was going to murder him and he had to get the jump on it by killing him first. the ruler which this girl is trying to convince rauru to wage an unprompted war on has the power to disguise himself as other people. no one in their right mind would immediately take the girl at her word. war is not something any leader should jump into without proper research and consideration, and to rauru's credit, he DIDN'T ever outright dismiss zelda. he believed her when she said she was from the future, he allowed her to work with him and he took her warnings as seriously as he could without any further proof. but he could not wage an unprompted war on ganondorf. that's just genuinely not practical, especially for a king who values peace among his people as much as rauru seems to. as soon as ganondorf DID attack, giving rauru confirmation that zelda's accounts of the future were real, he began making preparations to confront him. remember that zelda didn't KNOW that rauru and sonia were going to be casualties of the war--she didn't make the connection between rauru's arm in the future and rauru the king until AFTER sonia's death, when rauru made the decision to attack ganondorf directly. I think the imprisoning war and the casualties of it were less an issue of zelda being denied agency and more an issue of no one, including zelda, having full context for the events as they were unfolding. if zelda had KNOWN that sonia and rauru were going to die from the beginning and was still unable to prevent it that would be a different issue, but she didn't. none of them did.

I think another thing worth pointing out with rauru and his death irt zelda is that rauru is clearly written specifically as a foil to rhoam. this is evident in how he treats both zelda and link, with a constant kindness and understanding which is clearly opposite to rhoam's dismissiveness and disappointment. consider rhoam's death and the circumstances surrounding it. He died because, in zelda's eyes, she was unable to do her duty; the one thing he constantly berated her for. Rhoam's death solidified zelda's belief that she was a failure, a belief which she KNEW rhoam held as well. his death was doubly traumatic to her because she knew he died believing it was her fault. Now contrast that to the circumstances surrounding rauru's death. Rauru CHOSE to die despite zelda's warnings, because he wanted zelda and his kingdom to live. rauru's death was not agency-stripping for zelda; in fact, it functioned almost as an admission that he believed her capable of continuing to live in his place. With him gone, the fate of the kingdom fell to her and the sages. he KNEW that he would die and still went into that battle confidently, trusting zelda to make the right decisions once he was gone. where rhoam believed zelda incapable of doing ANYTHING without link, rauru trusted zelda COMPLETELY with the fate of his kingdom. several details in totk confirm that when rauru died there was no plan for zelda to draconify, that all happened after rauru was gone. it was HER plan, the plan which rauru trusted her to come up with once he was gone. and I think it's also worth noting that zelda's sacrifice with the draconification parallels rauru's!! Rauru gives up his life trusting the sages and his people to be able to continue his work in his place. Zelda gives up her physical form trusting link and the sages in the future to be able to figure out what to do and find her. these games in general have this recurring theme but totk specifically is all about love and trust and reliance on others. zelda relies on link, link relies on zelda, they both rely on the champions and the sages and rauru and sonia and they all rely each other. reliance on others isn't lack of agency, it's a constant choice they make, and that choice is the thing which allows them to triumph.

The draconification itself is something i view similarly to zelda's sacrifice in botw--a choice she makes which, symbolically & within the confines of the narrative, is a demonstration of her reclaimed agency and places her at the center of the narrative, but which ALSO removes her from much of the player's experience and robs her of any overt presence or decisionmaking within the gameplay. again, I think this is a solution to the macguffin-with-agency dilemma, and it's probably one of the better solutions they could have come up with. Would I have liked to see a game where zelda is more present within the actual gameplay? yes, but I also understand that at this point the writers aren't quite willing to deviate that much from their formula. the alternative within the confines of this story would be to let zelda DIE in the past, removing her from gameplay ENTIRELY, which is an infinitely worse option in my opinion. draconification allowed her to be present, centered the narrative around her, and allowed the writers to reiterate the game's theme of trust and teamwork when she assists the player in the final battle, which i think was a REALLY great choice, narratively speaking.

In any case, I don't think it's right to say that zelda was completely robbed of her agency in botw and totk. Agency doesn't always mean that she's unburdened and constantly present, it means she's given the freedom to make her own choices and that her choices are realistically written with HER in mind, not just the male characters around her, and I think botw/totk do a pretty good job of writing her and her choices realistically and with nuance.

#as a note i do think that loz still has a LONG way to go in terms of defining female characters by their relationships with men #and i acknowledge that a lot of zelda's choices within these games are STILL made irt male characters like her father link rauru etc #BUT i still don't think it's fair to act like shes been completely stripped and reduced to a damsel because.. she hasn't. #she's a very nuanced depiction of a girl who is used to being dismissed and ignored and powerless #her initial response to that powerlessness in botw was to reject everyone. she got loud and mean and she tried to do everything alone #and she discovered that that wasn't the right way to get what she wanted. it didnt make her happy and it didn't win her anyones approval #what DID work for her was learning to rely on the people around her and work with them. she found solace in teamwork and family #which is why in the final battle she and link fight TOGETHER against ganon. neither of them can do it alone but they can together #the same thing applies to totk. she continues her own journey by finding others like her who understand her powers and can teach her #so by the time she DOES end up alone she has been given the confidence and skillset to figure out what she has to do #you get it. you understand what im saying #asks #totk spoilers #zelda analysis

[supjello]

"Your son?" "My apprentice, but I think of him like a son."

#pentiment #andreas maler #casper ziegler #my art #it took me about two seconds to go full 'if anything happens to my beloved casper i'm killing everyone in this town and then myself' #'and then no one will be around to solve this murder mystery because we'll ALL be dead' #(some spoilers to at least where im at in the game>) #my andreas loved his son but found no love with his wife #(though he wanted to. he really wanted to.) #drifting off alone and finding this kind of 'what if' when he took casper on and began travelling #and it wasn't fair to anyone involved. not his wife who had to face loss alone #not andreas who was trying to cover up the hole august left with another family's son #not casper (though he wouldn't know this- since he didn't realize the extent andreas really cared about him like a father) #but most things went unspoken and most consequences unseen #so there was just this deep undercurrent of silent fatherly love and worry beneath every interaction #between the two #and it KILLS me even though i know 99% of this was me reading between the lines they let me choose #i wonder if my andreas kind of secretly wished casper's family didn't make it through the turmoil #it's a fucked up thought and i think he'd feel extremely guilty if he ever caught himself thinking it #but there's got to be some extreme dread there about the idea of the apprenticeship ending and this boy he considers a son cutting ties #and really having to face going back to his wife who he (rightfully) feels guilty about leaving. #even if she never loved him #and even if only pain was there to return to #ANYWAY #I FEEL TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT ANDREAS MALER #edit: guess who just completed the game. guess who’s own art is now making herself SAD

[puppyeared]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART #I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal #like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends #who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO #and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom #how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house #so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is #by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone #so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis #already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS #it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of #using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht #ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible #theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other #i remember i really liked the kyoya episode bc him and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close #but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru #i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like #who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in #but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to #put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i #theyre all so. NNGGHHHH #ouran #ohshc #yapping

[kinloch-warden]

Anyone else think Alistair and their Warden might've gotten some separation anxiety after the Blight 🥺

#alistair theirin #dao #alistair x warden #dragon age #dragon age origins #they've been a team this whole time! #they might not really have anyone else now that their friends are going their separate ways! #Alistair's got Eamon but like does he even count? #Meg's got like. her friends in the circle but she can't exactly hang out with them #Also Alistair's got that whole 'I lost my found family once before' thing going on... #alistair x amell #but obviously other wardens too I just have OC brainrot lol

[peridot-tears]

I got it in my head that Jin has always wanted to be a dad, but once the war starts and he starts becoming the Ghost, that road seems to shut on him. Who wants to live as the wife of a marked man, and what could he pass to the heir of a disbanded bloodline?

But I can't see him being single for the rest of his life, and I don't just mean casual sleeping around. He would be one of those people who somehow get locked down, and once he's quietly married he'll sit there wondering, "When did this happen?"

I do see him as bisexual, especially given that samurai were allowed to have relationships with other men (it's a specific age gap type of relationship, but from what I've read, that doesn't mean the door was shut on adult samurai having relationships with each other either), but when it came to actual marriage, it was expected that they end up with women because of how people expected gender roles to work when it came to starting a family.

So...I think one of two things could happen:

He has a child with Yuna. I absolutely do not ship this by a million miles (no hate to the ship, I just very strictly see them as bros), but she's the only woman he can get close to without dragging her into danger by association with him. It's very much a case of "my best friend and I made a pact that if we're still single by forty, we'd get married."

Or he finds a woman who willingly throws herself into a life on the run, or already is, and they become inextricably involved with each other. It could even be Tomoe. He sneaks onto the mainland on a mission, to the capital of Japan itself...and, well...

I have a lot of complicated feelings about this, given that Jin was most likely raised being taught that blood is everything. But the way he was raised, his relationship with his elders, and eventually the found family he ends up with at the end of the game tell a completely different story.

#there are also so many things that factor in #fanon consensus seems to be that he's in his late 20s at the youngest and that's way past marrying age during this time period #so why didn't he court anyone before the invasion? #there are so many dynamics that we don't probe in the storytelling #he's closer to his uncle than to his own father #and yuri is like a second mother to him #you know that when he was growing up he was taught that blood is everything if filial piety during kamakura was still a strong value #but after the events of the war i don't think he holds that view anymore #he still regards shimura as his father even without adoption papers #his found family are yuna kenji and co #so if he really wanted a child he could adopt right? #blood shouldn't matter to him anymore right? #but for some reason i can't let go of the idea that he still wants that and that eventually he does obtain it #ghost of tsushima #gots #ghost of tsushima spoilers #spoilers #sakai jin #jin sakai #tomoe #gots tomoe #yuna #gots yuna #tears falling like peridots

[stiffyck]

Clockers found family

#found family is one of my favorite things #and i love clockers #and i love the whole weird family dynamic they got going on #the clockers #gtws #bdubs #cleo #stiff talk

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts) #that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?' #its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

[10hourshift]

Chapter 9

<previous -begining- next>

Español en alt

We're so back baby!! (Doesn't continue it for another month or so)

#fnafhs #fhs #:*3 #golden fnafhs #bon fnafhs #freddy fnafhs #chica fnafhs #fox fnafhs #bonnie fnafhs #golden/julian stuff #theres a reasonable explanation of why i suddenly stopped w these (not that i made them that often) #got a bit of burnout and a little depression going on lol. along w a shit ton of things happening in my life. #i think i got better by mid October but i didn't have enough time to do fuck all. my family moved out. lots of stuff in school also. crazy #not that anyone really cares lol. i also kinda found out this drawing style that doesn't feel so tiring to do (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) yay!.

[vettelcore]

people with outdoor cats be like: yes my cat came back home half dead, caught hiv, is full of parasites and sometimes has gone missing for weeks but i don't care bc at least the cat is free and not locked inside like selfish people do!!!

#i cannot fucking stress this enough PLEASE do not let your cats roam outside freely if you care about them #if they're used to going outside leash them!!!! #the amount of cats we get at the clinic who come almost dead/with horrible wounds bc they're allowed to be outside is insane #not to mention how many run over cats i see where i live #they could get attacked by other animals too #like its just not worth it #we had to put down a cat today after the owners found her almost dead with an INSANE infection bc she had ruptured her intestines #her hip was shattered too #looked like probably some asshole kicked her #and the owners were like oh we had just buried one of our other cats the other day after she got attacked by another animal #and im just standing there like ?????? and that's normal to you?????? #oh but at least the cats can climb trees though 🤪 #remember the dude i talked about a while ago who brought his cat in honestly the worst condition I've ever seen? #covered in poop vomit piss and fuck knows what else? #that had a colony of cats all infected with FelV bc he refuses to vax them? #yeah this woman was a family member btw #thank FUCK he didn't come today because that would've been a shitshow #all things considered at least this woman seems to be... not absolutely fucking insane? i guess? #but anyway she kept saying how it was sudden! and how the cat was perfectly fine last night! #oh my gOD that cat had maggots eating her from the inside that doesn't happen overnight #cats are tough and will hide a lot of pain but can't you just tell the truth??? #you either didn't care enough to bring this poor baby earlier or you just noticed now what had happened to her

[scattered-winter]

the funny thing about being aro is that I am genuinely afraid of being alone for the rest of my life, but if anyone even STARTS to imply that it's because I'm never gonna have a joyful and fulfilled life without a romantic partner it makes me so mad I see red

#its. a fear born from a society entirely structured around amanormativity. #im not afraid ill never Find Someone im afraid that all the people ive already found will leave #because this (western) society puts so much emphasis on romantic relationships that any friendships or familial bonds #are instantly made lesser. #so many of my friends and siblings have pushed their relationships with friends (and me) to the side because they have this... #..idk. Bigger And More Important relationship to maintain. #and its all well and good when Everyone has that Bigger Relationship but when someone doesnt want one??? #theyre kind of left in the dust. by everyone. and it sucks #im not saying all the people ive ever known have done this and its unfair to say that everyone Will do this #but idk. there's fear there that i dont know if ill ever be able to shake. #BUT AT THE SAME TIME if anyone tries to say being aro makes my life depressing and sad and empty i am KILLING THEM WITH HAMMERS #aro joy is perhaps my favorite thing on earth. everyone go look at my pinned post right now #anyway idk. kind of a ramble i just got started thinking about all this #winter speaks #<- ish #aro tag #i should start tagging this LMAO

[rhymaes]

OKAY SAD POSTING OVER! sry to be negative af wtf so good news dump ! saw bestie for a long weekend, got drinks with friends in their city's small town and met strangers who were so NICE and not creepy, a v nice lady gave me a personal tip of $20 bc she remembers me everytime i take her order (which made me nearly cry!! wtf!!), my working out nearly every day while listening to my audio books is showing up & paying off & i feel sm better physically and mentally, & oh i got into a phd program <3 i'll know by April 15th (death day still huh) if my funding package will come through & if so, i will be a phd candidate for poetry & teaching actual classes for the first time ever & im . so fucking excited

#trying not to psyche myself out over it!!! its like either extreme good things or extreme bad things are happening rn #like phd acceptance??? but also the slow illness and inevitable tragic death of a family member coming to a close so like #im . yeah. one day at a time but these past few have been good & i get to see a lot of family for easter so slay :') #and i got my cousins kids CUTE vintage little baby outfits i found brand new while thrifting so little wins!! #god im going to school again thats crazy well maybe we;ll find out in april #personal #take THAT personal tag!

[shima-draws]

Just got back from my friend’s wedding :’) I think it says a lot that I was the only high school friend that showed up

#TBF the others in our friend group back then live in different states now #And flying out for a wedding can be SO expensive. #But yeah idk it just meant a lot to me :’) #And my friend (the groom) was SO happy to see me. And his family was too #That made me really glad 🤧 #The fact that he invited me to come at all also says a lot I think #And you know what maybe I cried on the way home in the car but that’s nobody’s business but mine!! #I’m very very happy for him. And his wife is SO sweet and so pretty #It’s just weird yk? Cause in high school I liked this guy SO much #Like I daydreamed about getting married to him some day #So seeing him marrying someone else felt very weird lol #Bittersweet mostly #Sorry this is super embarrassing LMAO but it’s not like I’m ever going to tell this to his face. #I know they’ll be very happy together and I’m so so glad he found someone that fits together with him so well #He’d better come to MY wedding tho. In the future. LOL #Shima speaks #It was a very ‘saying goodbye to your first love’ kind of thing. #Even after I confessed to him in high school (and got rejected) I never really stopped liking him #Like I just never got over it I guess. Even tho I KNEW nothing would ever come of it #Idk sometimes it’s hard to let that stuff go! It’s hard to stop liking someone after you liked them for so long and so strongly #I want to say I’m over it now but considering I was crying in my car: #Well. JFJSJMFMSMSNN #I know I don’t feel that way for him anymore like as a fact but. Idk it was weird— #Again bittersweet. I think I just needed a second to process and really let it sink in #Goodbye to my high school fantasy //waves a handkerchieff #Also MAYBE I saw them be so happy and was like. Why can’t I have that with someone. HUH #Leetle jealous. I need to find me a someone *squint emoji* #Anyway rant over wedding was good I’m just an idiot ;)

[yr-obedt-cicero]

just curious- somewhat in relation to your fic- but do you think Eliza would have been accepting towards Alexander's and John's relationship? if she ever found out.

Nope. And I highly doubt she ever knew either.

Although we don't have anything that indicates Eliza's opinion on sodomy, it is likely safe to assume she was probably your average, period-typical, homophobic, upperclass woman. Maybe even a bit worse considering she was a devoted christian, and was just a judgmental person in general. Eliza was religious and was adamant about it all considering she was often the one instilling religion and proper Christian behaviors in her kids since Hamilton wasn't really a religious person up until the last few years of his life.

I don't see her as being anywhere near accepting, and I often see people comparing it to the Reynolds affair which is just refutable—Infidelity and affairs were actually a commonplace thing of the day, and it wasn't like the Hamiltons' were sheltered from this issue with Hamilton's own family, and their association with others like Gouverneur Morris. Hamilton and Eliza shared the same class with many couples and families that were a victim of such, so honestly, I can imagine it being more forgivable than sodomy (Plus the whole infidelity loop that twists them in since Hamilton was still in a relationship with Laurens when marrying Eliza). And that point, Eliza would have definitely left.

And there are arguments that she supposedly would have been if she didn't mind Baron von Steuben associating with the family, which leads to the unfortunate truth that; even if she did, let's say, know about the Baron's inclinations, it wasn't her choice or say who associated with the family. Ultimately it was Hamilton's, and as much as he loved his wife, I highly doubt he was consulting her about that stuff. Also it's faulty to even consider she knew, as the Baron wasn't foolish with this sort of thing—He was smart about being good with making friends with the upperclass society (Y'know, like the Schuylers'). And honestly, all the rumors surrounding around why he got discharged from the Prussian army and the conclusion being that he was gay probably weren't even true. It's more likely he was just released from service because the army was downsizing, it's incredibly hard to believe he could have just been so open about his sexuality to people, especially enough so to get discharged. If anything, the most critical thing was that he remained a bachelor. So, I highly doubt Eliza knew of that either.

And now it comes down to, would Hamilton tell her? I don't think so. Nothing suggests he ever did, and that she ever knew even after both men's deaths. Sure, Hamilton confided a lot to his wife, but this would have been too grave to share. Additionally, there wouldn't be any reason to, Laurens was dead and Hamilton ended up pushing the memory of him far away.

But since you brought up my fic, I'll add on what separates some of my opinions and then my stories; it's fiction, and despite some of my beliefs like Eliza never agreeing with this sort of thing, or that Laurens and Hamilton would have fallen out of contact had he lived, it doesn't mean I'm always going to implement the most realistic thing in a fiction story I'm writing for fun. It's all about being hypothetical, and exploring those what-if's—So, please remember I'm not always going to be displaying what I say here in my work. Sometimes I will, but in this case where SFP is just a fun little project I started writing for fun and interactions I wanted to imagine, not everything is going to be the most realistic case in scenario.

#I got harsher comments on my work then on here but still- #Women can have flaws and it's important to remember the “founding mothers” were oftentimes just as terrible as their husbands #Also I'm going to apply 18th century attributes to a character in a story with an 18th century setting. that's how it works #You can't gloss over these things they are history #Sorry I'm getting more off topic into the minor controversy surrounding my fic rather than the question in general but they go hand-in-hand #amrev #american history #alexander hamilton #historical alexander hamilton #historical john laurens #john laurens #elizabeth schuyler #elizabeth hamilton #lams #historical lams #Second Family Portrait #history #queries #sincerely anonymous