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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 1 year

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i resent very much that i am writing twd meta this late in the year of our lord two-thousand-twenty-two after my long journey to distance myself from it, but the words are rattling around in my mind grapes, and because i am incapable of keeping things to myself, how about one more go for old time’s sake?

i think the main thing that i want to say to y’all is that we didn’t imagine it

obviously caryl has had chemistry from the very first scene they had together, but even these past few years, where we’ve dissected and meta’d every second of their screentime together under kang’s watch to death, and been like “here’s how bernie can still win!” we weren’t being delusional. the romantic beats were all there. the narrative was set up that way. she was wearing a ring in that dream sequence. he brought her a cherokee rose on a tray. they longed for each other, and planned to run away together, and it was never once foolish of us to believe otherwise, bc the only reason it didn’t happen is bc the narrative got eaten by amc’s desire to beat the shit out of twd for every drop of money it could possibly give them, and in the process they contracted Chris Charter Syndrome, which is unfortunately fatal

for those unfamiliar (tho with this group there’s probably enough crossover that i don’t rly need to explain), chris carter, the creator of the x-files, is notoriously dense af about how much of his show’s popularity is driven by his ~amazing lore~ vs the audience’s desire to have mulder and scully fuck

every conversation with him, to this day, goes p much like this:

[chris carter: people love the x-files for the mystery and intrigue and they don’t want resolved sexual tension, they want to watch our mains constantly will-they/won’t-they while battling government conspiracies until the end of time

the audience: we would watch one hundred billion hours of mulder and scully searching for bigfoot but comically missing him every time bc they get distracted by fucking each other, we could not care less about your plot. your plot doesn’t even make sense

chris carter: they just can’t wait to see what twists happen next

the audience: we are tired of the twists, and we want them to bone. in fact, here are graphs and studies and stats that all say that we would be much happier if you would just give us mulder and scully fighting silly monsters and stop trying to be gritty and dark with your plots that even you admit you don’t understand

chris carter: i am very good at my job

the audience: you are not good at your job]

rinse and repeat

if this sounds like gimple, that’s bc he has the worst case of CCS i’ve seen in a long time, and it’s unfortunate bc it’s contagious, and those who are especially susceptible are misogynistic money-hungry dudebro companies who think that what people want are GRIT and BLOOD and MAN PAIN, even when their statistics consistently tell them that they are wrong. a key component of CCS is an undeserved inflation of one’s ego and the inability to recognize the fact that one is making an ass out of oneself, which is why the past 84 years have looked like this:

[gimple: man, people love my negan and rick man-pain arc

the audience: no we don’t

gimple: i know what the ladies want, they want jerk-off contests between mediocre men while i kill off all their faves

the audience: no we don’t

amc: hmmm, while i’m picking up what you’re laying down, gimple, let’s see what this other showrunner can do for a minute

kang: people want stories about people. they want to see the seeds of character development that were planted at the very beginning bloom. they want to see the characters with chemistry go down on one another

the audience: yes, this, this is what we want

amc: interesting concept

amc: however

amc: that sounds suspiciously like conflict/resolution, and if things are neatly resolved then we can’t make money out of it anymore. i know that all the statistics say that caryl is our top ship, and that we should get them together, and let them have a concluded, peaceful ending

amc: BUT

amc: let’s instead launch a spin-off with one (1) of the duo (the male, obviously), and then let’s leave their storyline ambiguous bc that way they’ll follow us to the shitty spin-off, but also anyone who just has the hots for daryl/norman reedus will also watch bc he’s still an Eligible Bachelor ;)

amc: this is a good idea that will make us lots of money

the audience: no it will not

amc: gimple, we need your wisdom again, btw, the people miss you

the audience: no we do not

gimple: who’s ready for some GRIT AND BLOOD AND MORE MAN PAIN?!?!?!

the audience: for the love of god]

it’s stupid and exhausting, and i have Mad Respect for those of you who have been putting so much effort into making sure our voices have been heard. ( @my-mt-heart , @gunmetal-ring , @lighteneverything to name just a few) plz know that your voice WAS heard, and i fully believe that you DID make an impact. it’s just that, when push comes to shove (i.e. when you’re dealing with misogynistic rich white men), CCS is one helluva disease

and it’s sad! it’s very very sad! i’ve been spending my time away over in the “our flag means death” universe, and y’all, it has been WILD. all of the interactions with the show’s creator and the cast have been “oh you enjoyed that? we’ll be sure to keep that in mind so that we can cultivate a show that you will love, bc it makes more sense to listen to our viewers than to ourselves sometimes, bc they’re the ones who keep us from driving ourselves directly into a ditch! thank you for your feedback, we appreciate and love you!”

like??????

but see, that’s the difference between creators who are in it for the story vs. creators who are in it for the money. if you are solely money-driven you’re never going to be able to dedicate yourself to the narrative, bc narratives have concrete endings. they require you to not always be looking for that next spin-off, or to not sacrifice a character’s integrity to fit it inside of a bad plotline. they are shows like the good place, that had an ending in mind from the start. they are shows like ofmd or what we do in the shadows, where the audience’s opinion gets listened to. even supernatural (mother fucking supernatural, you guys!!!) catered to its biggest fanbase better than twd did. it might have been clown shoes, but destiel’s last-minute confession was at least explicitly romantic. amc was too cowardly to give us even that, bc it might “jeopardize” their spin-off

what we can take solace in, tho, is the fact that they are in the end stages of CCS. they think they’ve given enough to string caryl fans along over to the spin-off era of twd, but they haven’t. they’re going to crash and burn, and go out the way of GoT, in that everyone is going to be like “wow that was... let’s just not talk about that one, huh?” and it will be satisfying to watch them fizzle out into nothing when they get hit with the grim reality that they should have gotten their heads out of their asses and listened to their fans who told them that, yes, your “hot male lead” needs that middle-age grey-haired woman you cast to the side so carelessly, and that fact doesn’t change just bc you can’t fathom people caring about a woman over the age of 25

whatever. it is what it is. what matters most here is what i said up top, which is that we didn’t imagine it. we did not waste our time. we were not stupid. we had these beautiful characters laid out before us, and a storyline that supported them, and we took it and ran with it in the right direction. it’s not our fault that the narrative didn’t follow

our retribution will be the fact that now it’s our turn not to follow. instead, we can finally rest, not having to worry about the future, bc who fucking gives a shit about their dumb taunts, trying to get us to watch the spin-off for the “possibility” of caryl way down the line? we’re over it. we’re not chasing anymore carrots. we’re happy here in our caryl sandbox, with our li’l aus and headcanons and fix-its, and we don’t have to fucking discourse at each other every week anymore. we can come and go with a lightness we haven’t felt maybe fucking ever, bc it’s over now. it’s not in their hands anymore, it’s in ours

it was real. the feelings we felt, the relationships that were made between us, they were real. and it will all continue to be real in whatever way we decide to keep it. we can and should grieve what could have/should have been, and we can and should be mad, because there’s no question, we were wronged, but let’s not stay in that negativity place forever. let’s not forget why we all were drawn here to begin with, and let’s not forget what we’ve gained from each other

it wasn’t “just a tv show.” it was, and is, a community that has influenced lives to the point of changing their entire trajectory. i have written over one million (1,000,000+) words of caryl fic, and bc of that i have been able to self-publish my own book, and get into freelance writing. bc of caryl, i have been able to ghostwrite and collaborate with published authors, and am on my way to making my actual day job being writing, which is something i’ve wanted since i was itty bitty. bc of caryl, i have traveled the world. bc of caryl, i have made relationships and connections that have, quite literally, changed my entire life. amc can’t take any of that away from me. it can’t take any of that away from YOU

so yeah, shit sucks, but hey, i got something for you: