darthmalewife

[darthmalewife]

the boys (again) x

[darthmalewife]

I need to practice action scenes/poses, and so this happened.  At first I only drew Obi-Wan, and then a Togruta and a human child snuck in there somehow… And then space background happened because it’s Star Wars.  I really love Star Wars.  I need more Obi-Wan Kenobi content in my life.

[darthmalewife]

i’m not into “who’s the most powerful jedi” “who’s the best duelist” stuff but if i was, mace windu would be my man. who the fuck defeats palpatine. in a 1v1 . every other time someone has to fight palpatine in this saga they’re like “noooo i’ll turn to dark side there must be another way 😔😔” mace just does it. he beat the shit out of that old man what the fuck

[darthmalewife]

NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY STOLE FROM US

[darthmalewife]

[darthmalewife]

'unhinged but loveable droid' is far and away the best star wars character archetype

[darthmalewife]

Interrogator: now that I have administered the truth serum, I will begin with the questioning, and you will be unable to resist answering truthfully! Interrogator: Commander, what is General Kenobi's greatest weakness? Cody, through gritted teeth: praise kink Interrogator: :/ Cody: :/ Rex and Obi-Wan in the ceiling vent: :/ 😳

[darthmalewife]

Emperor Palpatine: Lord Vader, would you care to explain why you requested official, imperial reimbursement for a set of--and I quote--"Baby's Basic Shapes Refrigerator Magnets"?

Darth Vader: I have noticed, my master, that our troops have a difficult time inferring my mood because of my helmet. And I also discovered that my whole suit is slightly magnetized. So I got this idea, and ... Well, check this out, my master!

*turns his back for a moment, then faces him again*

Darth Vader: I call this one "Really Angry Vader Face"! What, um ... What do you think, my master?

Emperor Palpatine: I think you're an embarrassment to the Sith, to the Empire, and to me personally.

Darth Vader: ... oh.

*turns his back for a moment, then faces him again*

Darth Vader: I call this one "Really Sad Vader Face".

Emperor Palpatine: Your request for reimbursement is denied.

[darthmalewife]

i make important meaningful art

[darthmalewife]

I like the idea the moment Padawan Qui-Gon got to a world with forests that was it. The biggest tree would be climbed. Dooku would turn his back for two seconds and his Padawan would already be stuck. Sure he can get up there, but can he get down? No, his Master dignified Master Dooku who is a great orator, negotiator, and duelist has to climb the tree himself to retrieve his teenage tree happy apprentice.

See also Anakin dipping into all the water the moment he can solidly swim and Obi-Wan having to dive in and fish him out.

[darthmalewife]

imagine watching Star Wars in theaters in 1977 and pointing at Darth Vader boarding a ship with Stormtroopers and then choking some guy, and exclaiming THAT'S CLEARLY JESUS CHRIST, THAT'S WHY I'M INTO THIS

[darthmalewife]

The Star Wars experience

[darthmalewife]

giggling at the image of rex having to cover for cody and obi-wan whenever their brothers came by, like he did with anakin and padmé. Because it would be so much funnier. For instance, maybe the wolfpack is w them, and codywan is poorly hiding in a utility closet making out bc they haven't seen each other for weeks, and rex is outside, wringing his hands and whistling, trying his best to look inconspicuous as possible, oh look at this nice closed door it's very sealed tightly wow! And Wolffe, all but pushes him out of the way just to open the door and see obi-wan and cody having their afternoon tea, with a whole fucking table. Obi-Wan grins innocently, says something like, "care to join us, commander?" While cody is maintaining his strictly professional Marshal Commander™️ face, but what he's actually thinking is how close he is to spitting his tea trying not to laugh. And all of these close calls keep happening but they're never caught bc obi-wan detects their force signatures 100 feet away and he ups his game every time. Poor rex is on little brother duty and gets the brunt of it

[darthmalewife]

A clone made documentary about why Jedi are like cats with video proof (always awake and knocking shit over at 3am, sleep in piles, do long blinks and turn their backs to people they trust, will happily sit in the same room without acknowledging you and consider it quality time, little chaos monsters, can eat a whole bantha, love bread) and a Jedi just quietly responds with their own documentary about how that also describes clones To A T, and the galaxy just imploded with the footage of clones and Jedi in sleep piles and being assholes to each other and it’s great it’s honestly great.

‘Jedi, much like cats, have a parental instinct for raising children, but then when the time comes for them to go their separate ways, they do so with a fake stoic grace that is all 100% bullshit because they can’t keep out they children’s lives for more than ten seconds without wondering if they’re okay these dumbass little hypocritical-‘

*an entire photoset of clones in sleep piles in various places on ships and campaigns*

[darthmalewife]

if they were all padawans & initiates

[darthmalewife]

Finally watching the kenobi show and I love how the inquisitors are like "jedi always betray themselves by wanting to help people!!" like why are you spreading pro-jedi rhetoric when you're hunting jedi lmao

[darthmalewife]

imagine if the senate made the jedi like make a documentary for whatever reason so the public view during the war of them gets better or something and it’s just the funniest shit ever bc the Jedi might be seen as just rigid or uptight by the public but it’s the total opposite