give your all to me / i'll give my all to you
zutara month, day 10: secret, @zutaramonth
summary: the night before they're set to leave to face ozai, katara can't sleep. neither can zuko. "tell me a secret," she asks of him.
warnings: references to ozai's abuse of zuko, kya's murder and katara's discovery, and ursa's disappearance.
other notes: title is a lyric from all of me by john legend. yes this is the second fic i've written about zutara the night before they're supposed to leave for the final battle. no i will not change <3
Though there are several rooms in the Ember Island house, on the first day everyone was here, they’d dragged all the blankets and pillows from them and instead set up in the open room at the front of the house, and that’s how they usually all fall asleep, near to each other—a holdover from Katara and Sokka’s days growing up in the Southern Water Tribe.
Aang is somewhere else, though. She doesn’t know what he’s doing, what he’s thinking.
She doesn’t know what will happen tomorrow.
Toph is snoring lightly, on her back and feet planted firmly on the ground, but Katara’s gotten used to that. That's not why she can't sleep. Sokka sometimes snores, too, but tonight, she can hear his easy, even breathing. Suki is silent in a way she wouldn’t be if she was awake, and Katara knows she’s pulled Sokka up to her side as she always does in sleep.
Zuko is awake. She doesn’t have to look at him or hear anything to know that.
“Tell me a secret,” she says quietly to the ceiling and to him.
“Like what?” Zuko asks, matching her volume, not bothering to pretend he doesn’t know who she’s asking. Even in the darkness, they have come to understand each other.
“I don’t know. Anything.”
It takes a long moment, but then Zuko says, “Okay.” Another pause, and then: “I use my bending to get the temperature right for the tea. Sometimes.” He says it almost a little guiltily.
Katara snorts and then looks over to make sure she hasn’t woken the others. Toph shifts in her sleep but otherwise only snores again. When she turns, resting her chin on her hand, Zuko is already staring back at her in a mirror image. His amber eyes are two bright points in the dark.
“That is not a secret. You’re not as stealthy as you think.”
“Oh.” She can just make out the way his frown shifts into a slight smile.
“Try again,” Katara says again. “Something I don’t know. Something real.”
He takes a moment to think it over. “The day of the eclipse,” he says finally.
“Yes?”
“My father… he said something.”
“Was this before or after he shot you with lightning?” she asks. It’s rude, abrasive, but—she can’t help it. He’d said that almost casually today while training Aang, and for a moment, that uneasy anger she’d felt when he first came to them resurfaced. Only now, it was for him as well.
How could he ever choose to go back to that? she’d thought. To someone who would do that to him?
“Before,” Zuko says, matter-of-fact, not seeming bothered by her intrusive question. Katara blinks, brought back to the moment. “He said… he implied… I don’t know. He said she might be alive. My mother. I don’t know if it’s true, or if he just…”
Katara’s heart stutters. Knowing something like that was awful. Knowing that no matter how she wished for it, her mother would never return this earth was an awful burden to bear. Remembering what it felt like to run with everything she had, only to find…
But not knowing? Being made to wonder? There’s a different kind of cruelty to that.
“If we win,” Katara starts, then pauses, shaking her head. “When we win—you should look for her. And I'll be there with you,” she promises.
There’s a long, silent moment in the aftermath of that.
“You will?” Zuko asks, sounding sort of choked. Katara smiles softly at him.
“Yeah,” she insists. “You helped me. Remember?”
The journey to find Yon Rha… it hadn’t been easy, or particularly pleasant. But it was what she needed. And Zuko helped her get there. Told her what she needed to know. Guarded her. Respected her choice to walk away without a word one way or the other, no approval and no dissent.
Zuko stares at her for a moment, discerning. “You don’t owe me anything, you know. It—it wasn’t about that.”
“I know. But I still want to help you.”
“...Okay,” he replies in a soft voice. Then: “Now it’s your turn.”
“Hm?” Katara asks, her eyes starting to feel heavy with sleep.
“To tell me a secret.”
Katara winks an eye open again. Mulling it over, she leans just a touch closer and reaches over to smooth his wild hair out of his eyes and touch a gentle hand against his face, against his scar.
Zuko leans into her hand.
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
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