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butmakeitgayblog · 1 year

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hi dear!! sorry if this comes up as random but do you happen to have/know any link to a masterpost/thread on what happened with alycia/jason back then when lexa was killed off? i know the whole “she had to film FTWD” is bs and everything but i’m looking for a post or something with actual content, proofs, evidences and stuff about the whole thing. also, is that in any way correlated to bob and what came out a few years ago? like i saw a tweet from Isaiah that was suspicious (“lexa didn’t have to die, ask eliza and jason why i’m off the show” or something) but as far as i know he never spilled any more tea? are the who things connected to why alycia left the 100? thank you sm and again sorry if it’s random and if you have probably answered a million times about the topic but it’s all new to me. of course if there’s some tag of yours that i can check for more contest just please lemme know 💝💝

A masterlist post? No not that I'm aware of. When i have time I can try and track shit down and people are encouraged to comment here if they think of stuff but it's been forever and mostly it was just piecing things and comments and timelines together and using our brains to figure out that excuse was bullshit lol (nvm the fact that even if it were true, they didn't have to kill her, much less the way they did. But that's another rant)

For me tho the biggest hammer came down from Alycia herself when she said she'd been willing to work on both shows but "it just didn't work out that way" AND this Q&A interview question at 29:43 minute mark. She auditioned for ftwd after filming season 2, meaning Jason hadn't signed her on and had no intention of signing her on, in fact iirc (I could be misremembering) by the timeline I think she may have already knew she was getting killed on the loo or at least knew she wasn't gonna be a regular and thus was why she went looking for another show. Also the fact that Fear and the loo filmed during different times of the year so there wasn't really a big scheduling conflict either. So. I mean it's just logical 2+2 stuff when you look at it.

As for Isaiah, I mean. Consider the source. I'm not saying he doesn't know actual bts tea and there's probably a fuckton because that whole cast and production was A Mess, but I still take a MAGA bro's word with a grain of salt especially since he never backed it up.

#anon #idk what you mean about correlating to Bob #i mean I read a rumor once a million years ago that he was rude af to alycia all the time but again #grain of salt #other than that I mean who knows. the only people that truly know all the deets aren't gonna talk publicly #because they actually wanna work in Hollywood again and you don't spill and keep jobs in that environment

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lexa-griffins · 1 year

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thanks loads for the quick response, you were so lovely!! 🌸 as i said i’m just starting to educate myself so i don’t want to get things wrong or support someone who doesn’t deserve it. for example, Eliza.. like im still confused about this other topic bc i’m not interested enough, my heart already belongs to Alycia and i mean Alycia only, so… that’s what i’m focusing on. okay so basically that’s what i thought, the “could’ve handled it better” was about her not actually handling it at all, in a way, which i like to believe has nothing to do with her “hating” lexa (it’s something i keep reading online and idk where it comes from) or her fans. Bad advices and likely her trying to save Jason’s a** lead her to shut the discourse. but if this makes sense for the first weeks/months following lexa’s death, what i don’t understand is why she did seem annoyed when fans brought up lexa to conventions etc. but if she hated the fans and/or lexa, i can’t possibly believe she would’ve ever accepted to come back to the show for the finale. she came back bc she cared (about lexa, i mean SHE played her for gods sake, it must be hella important for her as well!!) and knew it was important for the fans, i guess. I’m almost scared to talk about this as i know Eliza’s fans are mad about it and especially Eliza/b0b supporters (i’ve seen enough on Twitter dear lord) but if what some people say is true, that he asked Jason to fire her bc he was jealous of her success, then maybe HIM being fired was also one of the reasons she willingly came back? like don’t get me wrong, i’m sure a big fat paycheck played a huge part too 😅 but trying to add more pieces to the puzzle here, as i really know like 40% of what happened behind the scenes with Jason and all when lexa was killed off, so again, i’m sorry if this always ends up being super long but i’m trying to do my homework here 📋🖊️ (and you genuinely are super kind btw which i’m super grateful for 😭)

I have never opened my mouth about the E and B topic because I am not about to open that can of worms or invite their fans to fight me here. I was a huge E fan and just a week before all the shit came out i was talking to a friend about how i wish clarke and her got the same love Lexa and Alycia do... that came back to bite me in the ass real quick 😅 you guys know how much i love Clarke but damn was it impossible for a bit there for me to be able to watch clexa and clarke scenes again and be able to seperate e from Clarke. We clearly got there tho 😌

In a way, I can understand why she was a little annoyed at cons. Alycia never went to a con with the main intent of talking about Lexa, she was on FTWD, she was probably very excited about it and was sent there to talk about it and yet every question she got was about a character that st that point she had not played in maybe a year if you account for the time between filming and the episodes coming out. And its probably nerve wracking to have a room full of people who care so deeply for a character and that are part of a community that is marginalized and her having to say the right thing. Not to meantion like most actors sometimes the line betwwen Lexa the character and Alycia the actor got a little blurred and i get the sense Alycia is the type of actor who wants a clear separation between herself and the character. Maybe wrongly so she tried to distance herself from Lexa not because she hates the fans but because it was what she and others around her felt was right for her career having just started on a new show.

We know B was most likely fired but I doubt that he was the reason why Alycia left. I truly think Jrot believe he was doing something with Lexa's death and that he was telling a epic story, i really think any other story of B wanting her gone and what is now know its false about her not being able to do both shows (AMC was ready to let her continue on the show, i wish i could link you a source to this) - making Alycia agreeing with Jason probably just PR trying to not cause a drift. Alycia (and Jason) kind of alluded to the fact that there had been chances for Lexa to come back before but that Alycia didn't feel comfortable with it and I do think that shows that she respected the fans and didn't want to be used as a prop to make fans to watch the show again. Her being in the finale was a surprise (well, not to me and many others because it felt like there had been hints being dropped for a good while). While i dont doubt the nice pay check wasnt an incentive Alycias entire message for the shows finale felt very sincere to me and very clearly dedicated to the fans. Blorke/B/E fans (well, B fans, lets be real here they only care for her because shes with him, they used to call her names before that) think that just because Alycia is both rather private and doesnt try to take fans money left and right that she hates her fans and hates Lexa. I just think that Alycia didnt really speak up when it was the time for it for whatever reason - i dont think it was out of malicious intent but i do think she should have said more - and talking about it now would just come across as trying to stir something up unless it was directly asked of her to talk about it. Id like to think she has proven herself an ally and a decent person where i dont think she has to talk about Lexa for me to consider her "forgiven" for not speaking up back then.

No need to say sorry, i totally get trying to understand what the fuck happened in this fandom of ours 😅 i just hope im saying things accurately because i have been here since mid 2015 so some things really get blurry around the edges. There used to be master posts or something im sure that explained things because this was a whole thing that last through most of 2016.

☺️ i might not remember or know how to answer everything but if you have any more questions about the fandoms history and if i can help and respond, feel free to ask me! :)

#letter opened #god it has been a wild ass ride sjdbdjd #what is it about this show that made people foam at the mouth the way they did christ sjsjd

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themuselesswriter · 3 years

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To The Troubled

Characters: Troy Otto, Nick Clark, Jake Otto, Alicia Clark, Madison Clark and a hint of Travis Manawa

Summary: Nick was doing his best to recover at the new institution, from his addiction and his family life, things were not looking so promising until a handsome stranger named Troy walks into the room and now Nick can think beyond tomorrow.

Word count: 14259

Warnings: drugs abuse, implied suicide, implied sexual harassments, child abuse.

A/N: this story is part of a series but can be read individually.

Credits: viking - polarr filter by me, photos from Pinterest

—————————————Teaser——————————

He doesn’t remember when he came to the institution first, it’s been a while, and they had a strict rule about not bothering the patients with dates and periods, not that he minded though, Nick was glad for what the institution offered, safety, food, a good bed and the best part is his mother has to keep up her good act whenever she visits him.

Every day was the same, he’d wake up in the morning, get breakfast, have an hour for daily reading where Nick usually picks a book about chemistry or herbs, sometimes novels if he's in the mood, he enjoyed reading and that's an obvious fact, then he’d go to a private session of therapy where the shrink would keep telling him that he must stay strong, that his mother did him wrong and that it wasn’t his fault that his father died, he was used to it by now.

Next, they’d watch TV and have an hour to socialize which he spends looking out of the window unless someone talks to him, Nick used to be such an extrovert before his mother started drinking like crazy! When the abuse started he closed to himself, he’s trying to get that part of him back though, later comes lunch and then it’s group therapy where they talk about what they thought of their private sessions and their current thoughts, there’s a group for each; children of abusive households, addicts- Nick was in both, and many others.

Later it’s a free period until dinner time, they’d do whatever they want to do, Nick would usually finish reading his book, maybe listen to music or talk to Gloria, she was kind of his friend, she’s bipolar though, sometimes she liked to hang out with him and fill his life with the most interesting stories about her super-rich parents and their adventures, but when she isn’t then he’s all alone, she found a way around taking her meds, so the second part happens more than Nick would like.

This place is different, it’s not like any institution he’s ever been, apparently, it’s for rich people and those who the government failed, it was quite difficult for Nick to get in, Travis’s ex-wife had to pull some strings to get him a spot, they didn’t believe in days so he had no idea when he came and how long he’s been there, he stopped counting, part of him didn't want to get out, he didn’t want to be with his mother anymore.

He sat quietly in the group therapy, listening to everyone go through their stories as if it was something new, he memorized each story by heart now, Joe who’s dad hit him once for yelling at his mother, silent Eddie who never speaks in meetings, cool Linda who had similar struggles to his and lastly, Suzie who goes on and on about her life and thoughts, he zoned out of the meeting quicker than the therapist said “hello everyone” he thought of the visits day, he thought of seeing Alicia, his little sister who looks at him as if he’s nothing but a pathetic loser - which he was or so he thinks.

Alicia used to think of him as her hero once, adapting to the change of their dynamic was all he could do now, he knew it will never be the same between them, then he had his mother and Travis, Travis was cool, he was nice to him, often supported him, he even believed that Nick can actually recover from his addiction, he was clueless to why he started getting high, and his mother would never hit him in front of him, even her drinking habits changed when he was there, Chris sometimes visits, Chris is his stepbrother, they aren’t close but they bonded over their dislike of their family.

It was his mother who he worried about so much, their relationship was so toxic, she’s the reason why he started using to reduce the stress, they had a little game though, where she’d kick him out of the house when she finds drugs in his room, next she would go search for him a week later, she’d beg and cry so he’s left with no choice but return home, she’d send him to a rehab and he’d recover, for a bit, then she’d start making him feel like shit for wasting her money until he starts using again, and lastly, it’s the shouting and the beating until she kicks him out again, and the circle goes on and on.

“Nick?” he heard the feminine voice call him, one that he recognized so well, Dr Winston, the group therapist, he snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her blinking “hm?” Suzie groaned “of course you don’t know what’s going on! You always do that! oh my god, it’s like you don’t even care about what we have to say!” Nick rolled his eyes “Jesus Susan, chill a bit, I’m not the boyfriend who dumped you in the middle of the night and kicked you out! Give me a break” he clapped back, and just when she was about to start again the therapist cleared her throat.

“Guys, we can’t have this every meeting! Each has a turn to speak, and if the others choose to listen or think about something it’s up to them” the older woman said tiredly, Suzie glared at him and never said a word after, well, besides the fake coughed asshole she did, causing both Nick and Dr Winston to share a look “anyway… how’s your session today? Do you have anything to share?” he shrugged, taking a moment to think “I… heard my therapist say that I was doing well, I think he will release me soon” he said, his hands moving everywhere as if it would somehow make him less stressed.

“And how’s that making you feel?” he laughed, terrified, anxious, disconcerted, nervous? He didn’t know the right feeling exactly, it was too much “uh… scared? I just… I’ve done it for so long, I only see two ways how that would go, and both lead to the same shit” he groaned, Dr Winston was saying something when a new man walked in, who looked like a lost dog, Nick guessed he was new to this, they all have the same frightened look on their face, he saw it almost on everyone who walked here, it wasn’t the case with him though Gloria said he looked like he’s so done when he walked through the door.

He must’ve been staring for a while because when he turned his attention back to the group they were all staring at the 6 feet something white boy, the blond looked around terrified until Dr Winston raised her hand for him, he walked to the group and quietly sat on the empty seat “guys, this is Troy, he’s new here, Troy those are Eddie, Joe, Nick, Suzie and Linda, Nick was just telling us about his session earlier” she gave him the friendliest smile.

They all turned their attention back to Nick “what makes you scared the most?” he pouted, uneased, he wasn’t expecting a new guy, and now he’s supposed to share his life with him while he knows nothing about him, besides that he’s messed up somehow “my mom… I don’t want to go back to her but the rules say I must stay with a relative and my dad’s gone so…” he swallowed thickly, looking at both hands.

Dr Winston was about to say something when Suzie raised her hand, the woman sighed “yes Suzie?” the perky blond girl with pixie hair cut smiled “I just felt something about an old memory that I want to share” the doctor leaned further into her chair “you had your turn, Suzie, now it’s Nick’s” but the woman protested, Nick whoever interrupted “it’s fine, I have nothing to say anymore” He lied, or maybe he didn’t, he just didn’t feel like talking anymore and for the first time, Nick was thankful for Suzie being Suzie.

Suzie beamed in excitement, she started talking about the one time her dad refused to give her money to buy a new iPhone so she got upset and slept with his best friend after drugging him as payback, and how her father slapped her for it, Nick disliked Suzie, she always claimed that she was a child of abuse but the more she talks the more he pities her parents, who’d drug a 50 something years old man and fuck him then get upset when their dad reacts the way he did?

And his dislike of her grew when he learned that those sessions weren’t mandatory for her like the rest of them, she and Joe signed up for it, and they both like to pretend that they’ve been abused while Joe was barely slapped once lightly to be brought back to his senses and Suzie, she only does what she does to seem more interesting, people like that are the reason why no one believes abuse victims anymore, both were spoiled rotten and had no business being in the group besides wasting everyone's time, or so the recovering drugs addict thought.

Her little story was interrupted by the sound of rising sobs, they all shared a confused look until they realized it came from the new one “see? New guy gets it!” Suzie threw her arms in the air victoriously “shut up Susan” Nick mumbled, Dr Winston told them to stay calm and give him some space, she calmly explained that Troy sometimes has uncontrollable breakdowns and it’s not because of something they did or said.

It’s been ten minutes and the crying only worsened, Nick was too frustrated, he wasn’t going to sit and watched anymore, he got up from his chair and knelt in front of Troy “Troy, right?” He asked, the blond nodded, this was good, he was responsive, aware of his surroundings “do you wanna get the fuck out of here? There’s a pretty garden outside, you can catch a breath” Troy nodded again, His tears streaming down his cheek like waterfalls.

The brunette got up and offered him a hand which he took after too much time spent freaking out about it “Nick…” Dr Winston said “it’s okay, I’ve dealt with it with Alicia” he assured her, she sighed and gave him an approving look before the two disappeared, they gave them weird looks as they walked to the garden, Troy isn’t being shy about crying, and it was obvious that he was struggling with keeping it down.

They sat on a bench far from the others, the blond almost instantly curled into himself and cried his eyes out “I lied, I never dealt with it with Alicia, I just didn’t want to listen to Suzie anymore” Nick spoke after a while, well, Alicia used to cry a lot when their dad passed away but she stopped after a while though it was nothing like Troy “I guess I wanted a break and I thought you could use one too” he added but he earned no response in return, he sighed “how can I help?” He whispered once he finally gave up.

“You can’t” the other mumbled between the sobs, even though the tears stopped but he was still heaving and shaking, Nick just waited it out until Troy finally calmed down, it took him almost an hour, he hid his face into his knees, too embarrassed to look “I’m Nick Clark” He started again “Troy Otto” the blond whispered drained, Nick nodded “do you want to go back inside?” He slowly shook his head “is it-“ he gasped “is it okay if we just talk?” Nick nodded.