#frustrating i fucking hate him so much

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

.

#my dad is so fucking #frustrating i fucking hate him so much #why can't he just stick to one thing? if you've decided to be an asshole then be a goddamn asshole #why these random bursts of affection and caring I HATE IT it hurts me more than you scolding me #because your love is so fucking conditional and fickle and i never know what to do to keep receiving it #and it makes me question everything about myself my thoughts my relationships whether if im actually ever right when im mad at people #it makes me think oh maybe it was me i understoof them wrong i can never fuckinh trust my judgement #like feeling unloved is all MY fault i am the one who can never get enough #i still don't know if that's true #broken three different relationships and I still don't know this about myself everytime i was like i don't feel like you love me and they #were like what no ofcourse i do but if you can't see it then fine fuck off i give up #he said he is concerned about my weight because he's scared i might get some diseases like thyroid (bc mum has it) or pcod or something??? #like dude why tf did u not just say that pehle 😭😭😭😭 i spent like 5 days feeling miserable not eating properly because i thought you #hated my appearance all my fragile self esteem it's all broken now i can't eat dinner without thinking about you saying don't you dare have #dinner if you feel hungry just drink water #and the worst part is i can't even skip dinner because it gives me a horrible headache the next morning and then i can't study and work #which btw YOU can absolutely not tolerate i gave up on being happy for your dreams im just trying to make you proud and happiness feels #like a far fetched dream now but i keep going everyday because im so close to the finish line and maybe if i do this you would finally be #happy with me love me #i told him that my first loan file got sanctioned today and he was so fucking happy so proud so soft like eat the dragonfruit i brought for #you okay it's so tasty and take care of yourself celebrate this little win you've worked hard #like just. please. don't confuse me you saying shit like this made me sob so much harder than all your angry words

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter. #he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point. #and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!! #hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do! #the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into- #one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT. #but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb. #I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time. #and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances. #and doesn’t want to hear any excuse. #but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment. #NOW. CHAPTER 17. #UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN #Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC. #IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!! #BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’ #WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM. #(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.) #and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through. #despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up. #like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him. #that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying. #just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner. #IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD. #and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. #he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had. #and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT. #<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but. #eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind. #I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags

[scoliosisgoblin]

Which version of Rick is your fav?

it's so hard for me to choose tbh. HOWEVER, I'd say Evil Rick

then I'd say it's C-137 and Memory Rick

I love how pathetic™ Evil Rick really is tbh. love that he's being controlled by his Morty. can you guess who my favorite Morty is?

#the only reason why Evil is above C-137 and Memory is because #Memory's design is something I don't really like in the style of the show #his fanart makes him look so much cooler but in the show he just looks.. unfinished? #idk it's weird to me. I love him outside of that though #and with C-137. I'M SICK OF HIM LMAO I AM SO SORRY #there are too many fucking episodes dedicated to this man. pushing everyone else aside just to have him yap about his dead wife #I love him so much but there's only so many times we can bring Diane up and not really develop her as a character but rather to boost Rick #and the show is Rick and MORTY yet all I see is Rick 😭😭 don't get me wrong I love this man #I just feel like we know more about Rick than the rest of the family #WHICH IS FINE IF THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR #and if they wanted to go in that direction so be it! it's fine! #I just feel like he needs less screen time or at least balance episodes among the family #cause even the most recent Morty episode is about Rick. it was so frustrating watching it cause it's literally MORTY'S fear hole experience #yet we're watching Morty's head canons about his grandparents #I also hate the narrative they took with Diane. only ever having Rick talk of her or others bring her up #it just doesn't make her a character but rather an extension off of Rick. that's how I'm feeling rn with the family #they're all just there to prop up Rick or something. super annoying #but that's about it. I'm not gonna continue my rant #unless you want me to? #idk if I even made sense but that's all good #rick and morty #rick and morty fandom #rick #memory rick #evil rick #C-137 #Rick Sanchez

[jrueships]

https://twitter.com/danfetes/status/1712166167572361344

josh says people saying stuff about stef ticks him off 😭 that's the meanest he'll ever get off the field 😭

that was kinda... 😏😏😏

and i definitely know stef feels the same... 😏

" tired of hearing all this nonsense... lot of guys in this league that have that same fire that don't get talked about, but--"

" frankly that kind of ticks me off when people wanna say stuff about him, but... we'll keep that all internal here 🙂🙃🫥."

this is allen at his boiling point omg 😭😭 held back by pr

#reporter: we talked to josh and we asked him a question about y- #stef smirks in Yeah. I Bet You Did. Bitch.😎 we're a two packaged deal. inseparable 😎 (insufferable) im his right hand man. his silly rab- #the sassy pose and the fond smile. theyre so untouchable dramatic ass top of the foodchain powercouple it's Unreal. #WHERE IS THE RPF!?!??!?!???? #josh and allen sooooo fucked after this #fucked HARRRRD bro fucked HARD #and they were both soo ready for it like you cant tell me they didnt fuck nasty after this HELLO #we cant always bet on them winning but the fuck nasty is surely guranteed #diggs had the bed all set up with romantic candlelight and roses and josh hurdled over all that shit just to hold him in his arms #josh caught on fire a little bit but diggs patted the flames down before he could notice #all the snow piled up around their home in buffalo could not muffle the 'youre my qb.. ure my qb' pants& moans which shake those very walls #josh '🙃🙃' the hell outta this interview #he said YOU may not understand diggs horrors but **I** DO!!@@! **I** UNDERSTAND. I GET THEM. #the frustration of seeing everyone hate on his husband when he knows all of that pales in how much stef hates himself #AND THAT MAKES JOSHS LITTLE STUNNED FACE ALL THE MORE SAD LIKE. HES SO HURT FOR STEF. #AND HE JUST KNOWS. he KNOWS the public is gonna spin this horribly. make stef the diva they always degrade him as #josh has CONSTANTLY with like a bear pacing around the cracked glass enclosure barely disguised rage #defended stef from misinterpretation and disdained the diva drama so vehemently #so everytime josh messes up or stef messes up or they lose all josh is thinking and feeling is 'im fucking this up for him even more #i dont care if theyre gonna be mad at me. diggs is hurting. somehow some way. diggs is gonna get Hurt. #and i cant do anything but talk. and i cant even do that well. #it's all my fault i cant do anything im so stupid im so stupid' #saint bernard song 1 hour #that single wide eyed stare he gives his wr bcs all he can do is stare as stef's pain surges #it's not fear of stef as the media tries to portray for qbwr tension. it's fear For stef. #he knows theres hurt. and he knows theres gonna be even more hurting. and. the nail. he knows he cant do anything to help it from stopping #'why couldnt i throw better. i need to just run it to lessen the chances. i need to do something. i need to be better. i have to be better' #meanwhile diggs could care less abt what everyone else thinks about him. he just cares abt how josh thinks. about josh #stef wants to perform well so josh can actually feel well. be able to express anything he wants without worry or treading #diggs/allen

[homeless202]

EY's reaction to finding out HJ used to steal as well when he was younger is so interesting.

How excited he was abt it:

From EY's pov, this straight A student he thought was perfect and never did a single wrong thing in his life, just confessed to having a criminal background. EY used to look down on HJ for his self-righteous and goody-two-shoes behavior. In his eyes, 'good' people like that don't last long bc they're 'sensitive' abt (in his eyes) insignificant stuff, and they often criticize and judge people like him too quickly. That's why he was so curious abt HJ and tried to figure him out, and why he pissed him off so easily. To him, it's a mystery how people like that still exist and manage survive.

One of EY's sources of frustration towards HJ was how EY thought, HJ thought, he (HJ) was better than him (EY) <- which was partially true, HJ did think "I'm miserable, but at least not as miserable as him". But HJ admitting he used to steal showed EY that HJ was not that much better than him. That he's not as stuck-up and 'holier-than-thou' than he previously thought. He had character.

After finding this out, EY gained a lot more respect for HJ. Especially after hearing his story abt how he managed to quit. HJ became a person EY could truly look up to that day.

#it's like. after hj admitted to stealing. him and ey finally were on equal footing. hj wasn't on a pedestal anymore as the good student #just a high school kid like ey. which made ey look up to him more bc: #'hey. this guy is just like me and look where he is. maybe i can get there too one day' #but ey doesn't believe he can actually get there seeing how he never planed on living past 20 #which is why he still keeps getting frustrated with him #and why HJ's words always hit hard when he fucks up -> the person you look up to tells u u can't change? ouch #THERE'S SO MUCH DEPTH HERE i think i'll pick this topic back up later in a new and more extensive post. i'll save the details for that #no home #no home manhwa #집이 없어 #webtoon #stealing arc #multipart #details #meta #eunyung baek #haejoon goh #ey hj parallels #what if i say my ability to read ey's character is bc i kin him? what then? will i become fish fodder? #i love-hate how similar our thinking patterns are

[jemmo]

i can’t tell you how much i usually hate these ignoring, distancing plots in shows and how much i absolutely adore everything about these 2 episodes of the eighth sense. like im not having a good time, and it’s fantastic.

bc the thing is, in all of this, i can’t see the right way to go, i can’t find the person to blame, i can’t find the way to make it better. I can’t single out a single moment or a thing someone did and say “this is why everything went wrong”. it’s just this coming together and rise and swell of things happening and people feeling things that has us ending up here and it feels beautifully and horribly organic bc we can’t find that point where it all went wrong. was it on that rooftop? was it at the beach? was it when they first met? was it when his brother died? was it when he was born into this family? there is no single point. it’s all of them and it’s none of them. there is truly nothing and no one to blame. and there are bad characters in the show, people you can hate, eunji and taehyung, but neither of them are to blame for any of the bad stuff that happens in the show. you’re not waiting for them to be taken down bc that doesn’t solve anything. instead, it’s just two people hurting, and not knowing how to make it better.

bc you take jaewon, and after what he says at the end of ep 8, you want to hate him, you want to be so angry at him for what he says, for how he acts, how dismissive and hurtful he is, and yet you’ve been made to understand 100% why, and not just in a “i get it but that wasn’t the right thing to do” way, in a “that was horrible and yet i know he doesn’t see any other way to handle this” way. like you don’t see this as a misstep, or a step to far, bc you know for him, in his state of mind, it is completely justified, it’s necessary. bc it not only punishes the person he blames for all of this, himself, but he sees it as a way to protect jihyun. and not even in a cliche “bad things happen when people around me, the people I love always get hurt” kinda way, but more so in that he sees that he is a scared, messy, struggling person that doesn’t know how to handle himself, and doesn’t want to inflict that on anyone, let alone the person he cares about. so what’s worse, a quick, swift blow that hurts but cuts everything off cleanly, or this prolonged relationship where he inevitably continues to weigh jihyun down with the weight of his trauma, and take it out on him. what’s the point of having a place of refuge when you ruin it more and more every time you depend on it, until it eventually can’t offer you comfort. it’s a lesser of two evils, jaewon’s choice is obvious to him.

but then you take jihyun. and we talk about masks and fronts but we never once question whether jihyun wears a mask bc he appears so sweet and innocent and naive, what can this boy possibly be putting up a front for. but i see it, this almost fake it till you make it confidence front that yes is becoming more natural. but my god just think about what he’s gone through for a second. think about it. left home for the first time in his life, moved to an unfamiliar and intimidating city with only one other person he knows, started a new job, started university, tried to build relationships, met a man that intrigues him, and perused him only to be kissed and then ignored, then maybe establish something tentative, only to then see him spiral, go on a trip where he shared his trauma, you have an intimate night together only to almost die, and then be not only ignored, but plain and simple rejected and pushed away. like… you can say all you want about jihyun growing as a person and having more courage, but no amount of growth for however many months this has been going on for can prepare you for that. for the mixed messages on steroids. for the back and forth, not knowing. to give yourself to someone like that and go through something traumatic and then be abandoned by that person. we get it, bc we see all of jaewon’s story. but apart from what jaewon shared at the beach, jihyun doesn’t know any more than that. he doesn’t know about therapy, about how his father acts towards him, about the extent of his trauma and how it manifests and affects his mental health, and how he is struggling every single day. and you can’t expect him to know the depths of that no matter how empathetic and connected he is, how much he cares about jaewon, he can’t be superhuman. and so you get why he pushes and fights for jaewon. like… he is in love. it’s clear. he’s fallen in love with him. he is this wide-eyed, open kid that fell in love with a senior. and jaewon has just messed with his head, he’s never been clear, and you can’t expect jihyun to just get past that bc he knows something is up with jaewon. he can’t know the full story, but even if he did, that can’t be a reason or a justification to be treated the way jaewon treats him. bc we’re all about jaewon putting himself first and doing what he wants and respecting himself like that, but jihyun deserves that too. and it’s such a fine line to tread when you know someone is going through something, bc again you understand why, but you’re still the one being treated that way. like we talk about jaewon’s trauma, but here jihyun was part of it, he went through that traumatic experience. he’s the one that nearly lost his life. and yes, he appears to handle it well, and no matter to what extent that’s true or not, you can’t not look at jaewon struggling and understand it and then not look at jihyun with that same understanding. it’s not about comparing trauma and pain and deciding who is suffering more, it’s seeing that there are two people in this, and they’ve both been affected, so we should give them the same level of understanding.

and that’s something jaewon has to see. that his self-preservation is selfish. that his destructive behavior doesn’t just affect jihyun, instead it feels pointed and directed, bc every way jaewon hurts himself hurts jihyun. and it comes bc jihyun was so much of what was good about jaewon’s life for a second, so attacking that is his only form of self-sabotage. he can’t mess up his relationship with his friends or parents bc they were broken in the first place, and he can’t sabotage his future bc it’s already been ruined the moment he didn’t pursue his photography major. him nearly getting kicked out of school affected him so little not just bc he wanted that punishment, but bc even that punishment meant so little to him. all these things are established and they already contribute to his suffering. removing jihyun from his life is the only active thing he can do to make himself feel worse, and he can veil it in an act of protection, and even feel like he’s doing the right thing, but that deceives them both into believing this is done from a good place, when no good can actually come of it. in trying to protect jihyun, you hurt him more. in trying to hurt yourself, you hurt him too. and when someone is in a headspace like jaewon is, you look for that thing that’ll break through. bc he is so distant, he’s trying to remove himself from reality, and jihyun needs to act as this person that can anchor him to it. when you’re trying to isolate and separate yourself, sometimes seeing that you still affect things, that there’s a persons that exists that is affected and hurt by your actions, and no matter how you try to cut yourself off, you cannot stop that, separating yourself still hurts them, maybe that’s a thing that can get through. but that’s something that depends on jaewon. ultimately, he’s the only one that can get himself out of this place, and that’s what makes it so hard, that no matter how much jihyun cares and how much he fights for him, nothing can come of that effort is jaewon doesn’t meet him there. and it’d be so easy for jihyun to give in, to take the hurt, but over the course of this show we’ve seen the strength jihyun has developed, which has only seemed to increase more so after the accident, call it a renewed vigor for life or something. he has the strength that jaewon doesn’t, to not let his pain consume him. and in a beautiful full-circle moment, it’s because of jaewon, bc when they first spoke he sparked in jihyun a want to be stronger, to be more than the country mouse, and he’s done it. and it’s that courage that means he can fight for jaewon, even in the face of rejection. he trusts himself and that he knows jaewon, the real jaewon, to see past words that are intended to hurt them both, and go after the person that’s still inside jaewon somewhere. no, he can’t do it for him, and no them being together is not some magical cure for jaewon, but it’s what can put him on a path of caring for himself again, and sometimes that has to start with caring about someone else (and suddenly I’m reminded of my beautiful man 2 and how kiyoi tries to break hira out of his worthless mindset by making him care about him, and how ultimately that can’t be enough, and that hira has to take those first steps of seeing his self worth by himself). what jihyun can do by fighting is again act as that tether to reality and try to be this representation of the good jaewon can be and do. bc look at jihyun, look at how confident and strong he has become, and look at how he got there, bc you saw that country mouse and gave him the time of day and helped him grow and gave him new experiences. you jaewon, you. and that shift in mindset, from jihyun representing hurt and the accident and the trauma of his brother and everything he can’t do, to being that light and refuge and everything he can do is again something that might breaks through. and the fact it has such narrative strength and satisfaction makes me hopeful that that’s what we might actually get.

#I did a rant #I’ve done a lot of rants actually they’re all just sitting in my notes bc they all got a little too much #my thoughts are a literal mess and I am still struggling to put them in all the right words #mostly bc the way jaewon is behaving and not to be too overinvolved is very reminiscent of *me* #and so watching him shut down and remove himself knowing it’s something i do is hard and frustrating #and I did a whole rant about it but I realised I need to separate myself from the character to be able to talk about it #so yeah #I really wanted to bring up jihyun tho #bc he presents as so strong in these two eps but you cannot argue against what he’s been through and the effect that would have on anyone #and try to see it from a perspective where we don’t know what jaewon is going through and just see his actions and realise how much he has #messed with jihyun again not at all on purpose but that 1000 to nothing jihyun went through from the trip to the accident and it’s aftermath #that’s a fucking lot #and it’s interesting that we talk so much about people putting themselves first and not putting up with shit #like I think of simon from young royals and how we celebrate him saying no to being willhelms secret as an act of self-respect #but bc we understand and empathise so much with what jaewon is going through it’s hard to make yourself even consider jihyun #but when you do see it from his side you realise it’s a lot for him too #and that you wouldn’t hate him or misunderstand him if he was mad at jaewon #and with *spoliers* is there only so much he can take of jaewon’s self sabotage hurting him until even he and his developed strength and #confidence is broken by it #he can only keep fighting for jaewon for so long and idk if it’s gonna be a case of jaewon coming round too little too late #but I just hope this isn’t easy which sounds mean I don’t want either of them to suffer more #but this isn’t a kiss and get back together and all is good #I think jaewon needs to see the bad he’s caused #bc it’s only by owning up to that that he can ground himself in the moment and see that he’s part of this world and can’t separate himself #from it and jihyun also needs to realise that no matter his headspace jaewon does want space and when someone is self sabotaging you still #have to listen and respect what they’re saying distance means distance and as much as you want to fight against it you can’t be responsible #for making it work #agh I need to stop rambling bc it’s so messy and complex and I just absolutely ADORE the level to which this situation has so many emotional #moving parts and how ultimately blameless they both are and how it makes it so much harder to see a way out it’s fantastic #the eighth sense

[ditttiii]

it's every single time i give myself a minute to breathe. a minute away from people, places, distractions, running away from my reality--when the heartbreak catches up and hits me. knocks my fucking breath out.

#as someone who's default has been for the longest time to love love love not being able to give it all the time actually makes me feel #like i am missing a part of me #its the weirdest most incredibly frustrating feeling to feel just slightly off kilter every single minute of the day and knowing u have #no choice but to ignore the oddness bcoz if u poke it its gonna all come crashing down #i hate having loved someone to the point where it was more than how much i loved myself coz now i m left #picking up the pieces they chose to leave behind and not knowing how to piece it all together #and it hurtshurtshurtshurts and never lessens and i can kiss someone else and still feel like a corpse inside #bcoz theres pieces missing that i gave away and that feeling of being incomplete just wont go away #trusting someone to love me forever might have been the stupidest thing i will ever do #and on bad days i think i deserved being left for the sheer stupidity of my life choices #istfg i m never loving again until a man puts a damn ring on my finger #so unbelievably fucking done with this shit #i wanna hate him but i cant and i wanna stop loving but i wont and i wanna feel full again but i dont #tw breakup #tw heartbreak

[hella1975]

i hate my town i hate the people in it i hate the shame that consumes us all i hate that every failure might as well be posted in the square because everyone knows everyone i hate that my grandparents are here and i hate that my mother came back for them i hate that the kids are dying and no one cares i hate that every good memory has a bad memory right next door like sam's house around the corner from my childhood home i hate the body they pulled from the river i hate the memory of hearing yellow by coldplay at my cousin's funeral because all i could think was that it was too modern for the situation but then he was only seventeen so it makes sense i hate that i was seventeen too and all the boys i knew were there his friends that were supposed to be the tough guys the scary guys i hate that i pretended not to see them sobbing i hate that everything smells of cigarettes here i hate the politics i hate the people i used to love that dont even smile at me on the street i hate that the girl who called me a slut works at my favourite bar i hate every alley and hidden shortcut and i hate that i know them like the back of my hand i hate the same fucking coffee shops i sat in when i was fourteen and scared and now im nineteen and scared and i hate that it's exactly what this town wants i hate that it wants anger i hate that it wants fear i hate that it wants shame i hate that i can give it everything

#thinking about how the two biggest things in my life rn - writing and my degree - are so punctuated by this fucking town #like my biggest fear with my degree isnt what id think of myself if i dropped out or failed #or even what my family would think bc they're nicer to me than i am #it's genuinely the thought of what my hometown lot would say that keeps me up at night #like the thought of my neighbour who told me id never accomplish anything bc my school was shitter than his fancy one #the thought of having to look him in the eye #or the thought of knowing my friends will tell their mums who are still on the PTA with old teachers who thought i was special #like small towns wrap you in this bubble of smallness and it suffocates you and you're so terrified and ashamed of every little mistake #and then my writing GOD i keep thinking about how tbos is probably the best thing ive ever written #and id publish it id genuinely try and get it published #but im just again so scared and ashamed and embarrassed like how do i explain to these assholes that im writing fantasy #and that's not even counting the gay angle bc that's the biggest part #i just am not brave enough for that yet and yeah maybe it's bc im still young but i shouldnt have to be brave to enjoy things to begin with #failure shouldnt require bravery when it's just a fact of life #and i think about if we'd lived in london like my dad wanted us to or if we'd gone to dublin bc my mum loves dublin #or even if we just hadn't come to this fucking town and we'd lived in ANY FUCKING CITY #my dad jokes about how in london he didn't even know his neighbours names and god i just crave that anonymity so fucking much #it's so frustrating and my mum takes it so personally whenever i say i hate the town and my sister says i'll grow out of it just because #she did but i genuinely dont think i will #and maybe that's the creative in me or the queer in me that she just cant relate to but i have always always hated this place #like a guy i have a VERY complicated history with messaged me the other day and we havent talked in TIME #and it was kinda sweet if not awkward just bc of our aforementioned rocky past but one thing he mentioned when i said i was at uni #was that he said really genuinely 'im so happy to hear that; i know you always wanted to get out of [town name]' #like he still remembers that about me even though weve been friends since we were 12 and i havent spoken to him since i was?? 17?? #UGH i just hate it here and it's the fact that i'll never escape it either bc i cant totally abandon ship without also #abandoning my family and i refuse to do that and they refuse to leave so now im just stuck with all these CONNECTIONS #sorry to vent lol #ig this could be a poetry thing? we'll say it is instead of me just having another meltdown LMAO #hella goes home

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

#rat rambles #oc posting #warriors posting #spiraling upwards #long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds #I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated #and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them #oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much #and for good reason get his ass #alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones #aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit #so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another #honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that #most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will #and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan #but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot #she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic #but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated #some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them #instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding #it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming #out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits #that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion #she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit #so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards #now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while #for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place #she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy #but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up #and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly

[scringee]

This is the only way to express how I'm feeling

#i try not to talk about my home life on here but im honestly so fucking frustrated that if i dont get this out i might just kill someone #my family car broke down in January of this year #my father refuses to get a new one because he thinks hes saving so mucj more money and he doesnt feel like he has any incentive #acting as if he was giving us free trips #i would literally pay him 100 dollars a fucking week to help take me in and out of work #and he just doesnt like acknowledge that at all #so now im having to take ubers to and from work every day. each trip is like 20+ dollars so that 40+ dollars a day five days a week #im averaging spending 200 dollars a week jusy to get into work #and i work a minimum wage shitty fucking job so all of my paycheck goes straight into ubers and fucking therapy every week #ive had to skip so many sessions becaause theyre all 50 dollars after insurance #and im just so frustrated #i want to move out so bad but how can i save enough if im constantly hemorrhaging cash #the only reason hes saving money is because he fucking works from home #i just dont know what to do at this point i feel so helpless #becayse even if hou casually bring it up my dad immediately assumes youre ATTACKING him and how DARE you and im tited im so fucking tired #how am i meant to move out in these conditions #how am i meant to do anything #i have no fucking social life because i literally just cant afford it im going to cry #i hate him. i hate my dad so fucking much #vent #ig. #scringee mouth

[wernerherzogs]

bear in mind i've never seen yellowstone when i say this but, seeing your tag post about the reason for jamie's family dynamics and how its bad writing is extremely funny to me because that is exactly what happened to my best friend dean winchester 😂

*takes a long drag of a cigarette* dean winchester..... now that's a name i haven't heard in a while

#scream no anon you're actually onto something #there are - surprisingly or not - many similarities between the shows #mostly shitty fathers/complicated family dynamics/toxic masculinity #with jamie in particular i get so frustrated because the main reason why (slight spoilers but i don't think anyone watches this ajdjjd) his #sister hates him so much and why his father is extra critical of him gets revealed in the middle of season THREE #until then nothing he does warrants that level of hatred tbh #and when those reasons get revealed girl (gn) the writing was just SO LAZY when it comes to that!!!!! SO LAZY #and don't get me wrong jamie's not a crystal clear fellow and some of beth's (his sister) commentary on him is On Point #but when i discovered the origins of her/jamie's father's contempt towards him i was furious 😭 #GUESS I'M GONNA SUPPORT JAMIE'S WRONGS FOREVER THEN ! #truly few things piss me off more in shows/films than lazy writing/shock factor writing. fuck off #ANYWAY. just remember another shared characteristic between spn and yellowstone: characters brush off killing people SO easily lmao #well. most of them anyway #also the quote: 'there are monsters everywhere in this world. so we just have to make sure we kill them when we find them' is shockingly #NOT from spn lmao. #anonymous #a response #yellowstone spoilers #IF ANYONE CARES #yellowstone lb #ish #also am not fixing the typos i'm sorry. i see them but i ain't retyping all that #TL;DR BE MORE CREATIVE WHEN CREATING CONFLICT WRITERS OF THIS WORLD

[kirii-chan]

*Search ray toro tag on insta*

:)

*Top results are all gerard pics*

>:(

#ray toro #i hate this so much stop putting him in tag if hes not even in the pic istg I'll bust down your bedroom fucking door and beat you to death #mcr frustration #ray stans #gerard way #dear gerard stans #EVEN THE FUCKING TAG PICTURE IS FUCKING GERARD FUCK OFFFFF

[vulpinesaint]

what they don't tell you is that writing poems can be so. difficult. when you're doing it for a purpose and not just to write a poem.

#which means that you should just write poems and have them for a purpose when you're done but 🙄 #idk bro it fucks with something in my brain #writing poems? awesome! #there's something you're writing them For? well boys. kill him with hammers #my stuff for my creative writing workshop always felt like it SUCKED cause smth in my brain wouldn't turn off while writing #so everything i wrote + turned in for it felt so stilted and uncharacteristic nd not like my best possible work :( #will have to redeem myself next semester in the second level workshop. anyway #writing someone a poem for christmas and it has me Fucked Up what am i supposed to do with this! #can't write a cheesy love poem for shit either i hate that stuff. #like i could Do it i would personally dislike it very much though #i have written poetry about how frustrating i find writing 'love poetry' when i know all the formulas for it #but still find the topic itself ultimately unfulfilling #anyway. god. one of these days i'll get a poem done properly for this kind of thing. #one day soon... #valentine notes

[notmoreflippingelves]

Eoa 5, 6, 9, 16, 24?

5. 3 favourite characters?

Esteban, Elena, Naomi. (Though it's a very close call between Naomi and Valentina ngl and sometimes, Elena annoys me a little and gets bumped down a place or two).

6. Least favourite character?

Shuriki in the sense that she's the one who personally evokes the most angry feelings in me. But I also thinks she's a particularly good and effective villain and a very effective means of creating high stakes and woobifying Esteban further, so she can stay in my book.

I also really dislike Cristobal Castillo a fair bit for obvious reasons, but I think he also works fairly effectively in the context of the show as both a temporary baddie and as foil to Esteban (even if I wish we could've seen them interact more).

I think Fiero and Zopilote are both really interesting conceptually but were largely wasted in the show itself. Maybe they would've worked better if they were combined into a single character. Ash's evil mentor who serves as a foil to her and to Mateo, allies temporarily with Shuriki for POWAH (but always plans to betray her) in S2 and is both very proud of and very demanding of Ash. But in their current incarnation, they're just kind of there and largely pointless to me.

In terms of characters who weren't specifically designed to be villains, I am not particularly fond of Flo, Charoca, Luisa, or Mateo. I wouldn't say I "hate" them exactly as all do have some moments that I enjoy and have a role to play in the story. But even at their very best, I am decidedly "meh" about them compared to the others. Particularly Mateo. (I recently made a post about what I see as pretty clear writer's bias/favoritism toward him and why it aggravates me).

9. Favourite season and why?

It's difficult to say, since I think each of the seasons have their own particular strengths and weaknesses.

S1 is most consistent on an episode-by-episode level. At this point, the show is mostly filler/world-building but its much less glaring and disruptive here than in the later seasons. Also "Island of Youth" and "King of the Carnaval" have my whole heart.

S2 is best at pacing and balancing filler with the main plot. Shuriki is also by far the best villain on the show, and while there's still a lot of missed opportunities with that (which I'll get into at the next question), her return and defeat are handled reasonably well. I also feel that S2 has the best Dia de los Muertos episode (" The Jewel of Maru") and the best holiday episode ("Snow Place Like Home"). That being said, S2 is particularly aggravating to me as an Estefan since he does pretty much nothing of substance for an entire season--with the exception of an (admittedly great) cousin rap battle and a bit of (shared) focus in the Navidad episode.

S3 is probably my favorite and there is so much to love about it. the show finally gives Esteban the characterization and plot focus that he has deserved all along--and as a bonus, they gave him magic powers, a (reluctant and fortunately temporary) villain era, a redemption arc, a sparkly magical outfit( that pairs with Elena's) and an extremely stupid new hairdo to boot. I also love love love Elena's emotional magic (particularly as a parallel with Esteban's teleportation and just the aesthetic of her dress changing colors with her mood). I also love Victor and Carla redemption (even if I wish we could've seen more of them). In S3, we were introduced to Chloe, Antonia, Ixlan, and Rebecca who are some of my faves of the supporting characters. I love everything about "Dreamcatcher" and most of "The Magic Within" (except for Flo and the mood whiplash she brings with her) and "Coronation Day" as well.

But for all that is great about S3, there are some notable flaws as well. The most obvious of which is pacing. (Granted that this is probably unintentional and a lot of the problems are due to Disney airing things wildly out of order). We will go from some of the most devastating and emotionally exhausting episodes on the show to just super low-key filler episodes without any preamble and it's so frustrating. That being said, S2 did a much better job integrating the main plot even into filler episodes. (Ex: There was a little bit Victor and Carla shenanigans in "Royal Rivalry" and a few scenes of "Carla-as-Rita" even in the mostly filler science fair ep). It's also wildly funny to me how we will go through multiple S3 episodes without Esteban appearing or even being mentioned, yet the moment he does show up--either in person or conversation--he is accompanied by the affirmation that Elena is 110% incapable of being normal about him. It's like he either doesn't exist at all to her OR he is one of the only things that exists to her. There is absolutely no middle ground. It's hilarious.

I also have mixed feelings about Ash, Chatana, and the Four Shades of Awesome as villains. Chatana in particular seems underdeveloped and underused. While I mostly like Cahu as the final Big Bad, the other Shades seems kind of random and out of place, and I also think Cahu should've been introduced an episode or two earlier. Even if she doesn't appear, we could've learned that summoning her was Ash's plan and what she expects to accomplish. As well as the stakes of what they are risking by doing so.

16. Most ridiculous plot line?

The absolute nonsensical timeline/episode airing order throughout the whole show but especially in S3. Honestly, ridiculous is not at all the right word, but the plot arc--or at least plot element--that I find most aggravating is Esteban's plot during the S2 "Shuriki Returns" arc. Or more specifically, the complete and utter lack of Esteban plot during said arc. More than anyone else on the show except possibly Elena (and even that is debatable), Esteban's entire character has been shaped by 41 years of Shuriki's reign, coupled by his own guilt for enabling that reign in the first place and his lingering fear and trauma from the Dark Times in general.

As such the Shuriki returns arc should've been nearly as crucial to his character development as it was to Elena's. And yet...all we get is "The Right Thing to Do" and a few tiny little moments in "Song of the Sirenas" (him hiding behind Francisco on seeing Shuriki again and wanting to be rescued first from the tower). That's it. Three little moments, two of which are specifically played for laughs and all of which only really contribute to Esteban's character development if you really stop and think about them beyond the surface level.

Esteban uses his body as a shield multiple times to protect Elena from Ash (and later Cahu) in S3 and yet, he sees Shuriki and he immediately darts behind his grandfather for protection like a scared child. He literally does a song and dance to try to persuade (and then force) Elena to stay as far away from Shuriki as possible. He jumps the line to try be the first to be rescued from Shuriki and then his second thought is to protect the youngest and most vulnerable person in the room (Isabel) instead of himself. It's almost (sarcasm) as it he knows better than anyone exactly what truly horrendous things that Shuriki is capable of and wants to protect himself and his family from them.

I mean, I understand that the nature of this being a children's show discourages them from delving too much into Esteban's trauma and what exactly the Dark Times looked like. If they reminded the eight year olds watching that 41 years is an insanely long period of time to live alone without family, friends, or freedom, they would probably get so many angry letters from parents. Yet in the very first episode of the show, they just low-key reveal that Shuriki enslaved the noblins .

I don't think it would've been too much to have Esteban be like "Remember the noblins. Remember your parents. Remember the amulet. These are only a few examples of the terrible things Shuriki has done . I've seen them all firsthand and I've seen countless more equally nightmarish so I will not let you go after her now" before he breaks into his Hamilton audition piece.

Or even just there be a brief moment during the "Shuriki Returns" arc where someone is like "How are you holding up, Esteban? This must be so scary and stressful for you too/ you in particular." But no, this was apparently too much to ask for.

24. Favourite song from the show?

My favorite songs from the show are always the random ones with guest characters as opposed to the actually plot-important ones with main characters, lol. So my top 5 would probably be: "You Can't Catch Me," "A Little Bit More," (Val, my beloved) "More, More, More" (which is probably the most underrated song on the show imo), "You Want to Live Forever," and "The Gift of Night" and probably in that order.

If you held a gun to my head and told me I had to pick a more important song that is song by a series regular, it would probably be either "Something I Would Never Do" or "Let Love Light the Way."

Ask Meme

#elena of avalor #eoa salt #i love this show but it is so frustrating to me #esteban is already a great 12/10 character but he could be so much more; should be so much more #but that would require the writers remembering he existed until they needed him to do plot things in s3 #and even then; they'll still ignore him for multiple episode at a time #and act like his (admittedly huge) mistake happened like 5-10 years ago instead of over 40 years ago #like i get that it still feels fresh and new to the characters too but still #*Sirius Black voice* Esteban did his waiting and suffering. 41 years of it in Shuriki's Avalor #fuck cristobal castillo tho; all my homies hate cristobal castillo

[hakiarleon]

the coronation arc is probably when i became a izana fan, especially this scene... lives rent free

#like i know hes a good brother! i know he cares! but these lines are just?? #and he was so patient with little zen here... like hes mourning too hes got all this work that hes voluntarily taken on and sitting awake #so late but still taking the time to take his little brothers concerns SERIOUSLY #hes an ass but thats just how siblings are and he was So frustrating in early chapters but ultimately he just wants thr best for #his brother snd he doesnt care what that takes #hurting the feelimgs of some random nobody? who fucking cares. the last time he looked the other way abt someone like that #zen got traumatised #ughhhh i hate him i hate that i genuinely like him as a character so much #then again the fact that i paired an oc w him says enough... #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #mangacap #izana wisteria #zen wisteria #queued #pics or it didnt happen

[irritablepoe]

one thing about me is that i'll freeze to death when angry. like i'm shaking and not from anger, it's just that i get so cold

#johnny's silly rambles #surely this is normal right? #or is it the lonely having a grip on me and making this all dramatic like “there's not warmth in my life *faints dramatically*” #but i mean am i wrong??? #lmao why use a tma ref but i've been thinking about this a lot recently but ANYWAYS #i hate being angry :( #i'm meant to be pet.. #he's not answering now too. ofc. he probably doesn't even know what he did wrong... #fuck off dude. i was angry at him before for pressuring me to do things i don't want (like using tinder or sth which... wouldn't make- #-much sense to me... if you were listening to me??? maybe??????? but he never listens.) but now it's just- argh i want to punch him #yeah another #vent #sorryyyy but i can't let this out anywhere else #if you're reading all this ily <33 #and dw i'm gonna be fine #just so frustrating to deal with all of them nowadays