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#she did but i genuinely dont think i will
pinkandlilacroses · 3 days
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
Angel - Paige bueckers
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• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}
• warnings {angst}
• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist
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bellas pov
for everyday this week, azzis been over and i haven’t seen jake in a while. hmmm
avery has taken away my weed, and my valium because she says i need to ‘deal with things naturally’ blah blah blah
this week has sucked. especially because avery keeps dragging me to azzis basketball practice, and every practice, paige ignores me. i really need to stop thinking about her.
“its friday, that means you don’t have to go to a practice until monday” avery says, trying to convince me to show up to yet another practice. i don’t even watch basketball, theres literally no point to me being there
“ok, fine”
azzis pov
i know what avery’s doing is wrong. i mean shes cheating on her high school boyfriend with me, but i think im falling for her.
“paige cmon we have practice” i say, shaking paige, attempting to wake her up
“ok, ok, calm down. im up”
“also, avery and bella are coming to practice again”
“bro why” she says, complaining. she doesn’t like bella for some reason, like every time bellas around, she gets annoyed quicker than usual.
“why do you hate bella so much”
“cause she gets to attached” she says.
what.
“what do you mean paige” i say, somewhat yelling
“i mean, we hooked up and she got all mad when i kicked her out, then she blocked me”
“paige are you fucking kidding me” i say, fuming
i cant believe this, the one girl i actually like, of course paige has hooked up with her best friend
“it was before you guys got close” she says, defending her actions
“it doesn’t matter, avery definitely knows. oh my god” i say, getting more and more stressed
“bro it doesn’t matter” she says, getting ready, clearly unfazed by my anxiety heightening
“of course you would do this. why do you have to get with every girl on campus paige, she clearly isn’t like that” i say, yelling
“she was loving it” she says, smirking. why is she not talking this seriously
“your disgusting” i say, slamming the door and walking to practice on my own
azzi
- hey bella, im so sorry about what paige did
- i just yelled at her for you lol
bella
- did she tell you?
azzi
- yeah
- im so sorry
bella
- its ok
- it doesn’t matter
azzi
- does avery know?
bella
- yeah
- its pretty obvious
azzi
- yeah lol
fuck.
bellas pov
i mean, i appreciate azzi’s texts, but she shouldn’t be apologising for her shitty excuse of a best friend
“hey guys” nika says, as we walk into practice
“bella” kk says, spinning me around. i’ve gotten pretty close with kk over the past week, so this isn’t out of the ordinary
im talking to the team, as avery sticks to conversating with azzi, until
“paige” ice and kk say, somewhat screaming
azzi and avery just look at her, blankly
paige comes and stands with myself and the rest of the team, standing next to me
“can we talk” she whispers
“about what” i say, turning to face her. i obviously want to talk to her, but i dont want her to know how bad i want to
“i just need to talk to you”
“ok, fine”
she drags me to the bathroom and i sit on the bench
“azzi knows” she says, leaning close to me
“yeah, she texted me”
she looks at me, blankly
“is that all you wanted to say
“im sorry”
what.
“wait what” i ask, genuinely confused
“i shouldn’t of kicked you out”
im in shock
she continues “i was just horny and desperate, i genuinely do want to get to know you, im sorry”
she wants to get to know me?
“what do you wanna know” i ask, somewhat seductively
she bites her lip
“no”
huh?
“i want to know you, in a friend way”
“oh” i say, jumping down from the bench and walking out of the bathroom
“no bella, not like that” she says, chasing after me
i walk out of the bathroom and towards avery
“im leaving”
“ok tell me later” obviously referring to paige and i in the bathroom
im getting deja vu, walking through the halls, crying. fuck why do i care so much about her
paiges pov
i fucked up. i didn’t mean it like that, i meant that i want to know everything about her, like a friend. but i want to be more. fuck
why would i say that
“avery, whats your dorm number” i say, running up to avery and azzi
“why” she asks, confused
“what did you do” azzi adds
“i fucked up, i think i like her. and i fucked up” i say, shocking myself
they both look at me in shock
“no fucking way” azzi says, covering her mouth in shock
“its 235, be quick, run!” avery says, and i begin to charge out of practice. fuck that. this means more
after basically running through the dorm halls, i begin to hear soft cries. thats her
“bella?” i say
“leave me alone” she says, i run closer to the voice and i see her. standing outside her door
“bella, please talk to me” i say, standing infront of her, towering
“why paige, you just wanna be friends” she says, looking up at me with teary eyes
“please let me in, i need to explain” i beg, and she complies
“sit” she says, coldly
“ive always had a crush on you, ever since your freshman year, i’ve noticed you, more than any other girl. seeing you in the halls genuinely brightens up my day, at the bar. i had finally mustered up enough courage to talk to you and i just found myself falling more and more for you. i kicked you out because i was scared, ive never liked anyone like i have with you, your different. i tried to distract myself but i just cant. im so sorry”
i cant even look at her right now. fuck
“paige-“ she starts
i interrupt “i shouldn’t of done that” i say, and basically run out of her dorm
fuck
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starrbitez · 2 days
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In s6e2 when rick leaves Marta behind in the Roy game i think it’s rlly interesting. Bc clearly the after effects are Morty’s obedience increasing, him saying”whatever you say Rick, i trust you implicitly” and while this could be read as something rick did on purpose like in the heistotron episode, i actually dont think it was on purpose. I think rick genuinely left Marta behind as a sign of respect, because it is implied that she requested it and would send everyone else with him. But she was such an important part of Morty, clearly representing his determination and intelligence, a sign of his power and strength over other people. I think that rick knew a part of Morty missing would hurt, especially Marta. Yet on some level i think he respected this part of his grandson so much that he wanted to let her live a full life?? I’m sure he was FINE with the consequences, but i don’t think they were intended. Rick even looks back at the broken Roy machine sadly, and i feel like it is because he Does care that he left that part of Morty behind, but he doesnt regret it. I’d love to hear other opinions but this is just my theory :3
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elftwink · 1 day
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got a text from my coworker apologizing that she accidentally outed me to another coworker and i am not sure how to respond because on the one hand theres not really a safety issue and if there is fallout im pretty sure its handlable and the most likely outcome is literally nothing happens. like one of our other coworkers is openly nonbinary so this is not a stealth-necessary work environment and i have often considered coming out to coworkers with the main reason i havent being because i dont want to put the effort in to talk to everyone LOL. and the coworker who outed me is a pretty good friend and i know it was an accident and she feels bad so like i dont really want her to beat herself up about it or for it to reflect badly on our relationship
but on the other hand im not sure how to convey that without saying something like "no worries" or "you're fine" or otherwise minimizing what she did, which i dont want to do because despite there not being a safety issue it is kind of upsetting and nerve wracking. like i just dont have control over a situation where i previously did have control & there isnt a way to put that back the way it was. and i don't know exactly what our other coworker has been told either, or how he reacted, or anything really, so i just sort of have to wait until sunday to see if he says anything or treats me differently (the latter of which i think is extremely likely; not that he'll be directly bigoted, but ive talked to this coworker about trans stuff before and the conversations have been... ill informed and very exhausting. usually i just try to end them as fast as possible because i dont get paid enough to have a difficult conversation with someone who knows nothing but thinks they are an expert, especially when i am the only one of us with any personal experience).
she already feels bad and i dont want to make her feel worse (she's my friend!), but i also don't like being put in the position where i have to comfort her about the thing that she did to me. i know this isn't what she intended like i firmly believe this is a good faith apology, i just dont know how to respond to it in a way that doesn't involve saying it's okay. and i don't want to say it's okay because it really is not okay.
(the other thing also, which just has to do with the general atmosphere of transphobia and not my coworkers apology, is i find that i am usually expected to say everythings fine when something transphobic happens to me, lest i be painted as the evil and unreasonable transgendered who isnt willing to let people make mistakes and rules my tyrannical pronoun kingdom with an iron fist. or whatever. i dont think my coworker would react this way, but years and years of people misgendering/outing/saying transphobic things and then crying to me as though they're the victim and reacting extremely negatively if i did not dry their tears and reassure them that They're A Good Person, Really... it weighs on you. there's an unspoken expectation that you will be endlessly tolerant and forgiving, and an accompanying resentment or anger if you don't fulfill that expectation. even when people aren't getting angry at you, you still flinch from the times people were, and you still try to temper your reaction based on the possibility they will react badly. difficult to have honest and genuine conversations in that environment!)
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hella1975 · 2 years
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i hate my town i hate the people in it i hate the shame that consumes us all i hate that every failure might as well be posted in the square because everyone knows everyone i hate that my grandparents are here and i hate that my mother came back for them i hate that the kids are dying and no one cares i hate that every good memory has a bad memory right next door like sam's house around the corner from my childhood home i hate the body they pulled from the river i hate the memory of hearing yellow by coldplay at my cousin's funeral because all i could think was that it was too modern for the situation but then he was only seventeen so it makes sense i hate that i was seventeen too and all the boys i knew were there his friends that were supposed to be the tough guys the scary guys i hate that i pretended not to see them sobbing i hate that everything smells of cigarettes here i hate the politics i hate the people i used to love that dont even smile at me on the street i hate that the girl who called me a slut works at my favourite bar i hate every alley and hidden shortcut and i hate that i know them like the back of my hand i hate the same fucking coffee shops i sat in when i was fourteen and scared and now im nineteen and scared and i hate that it's exactly what this town wants i hate that it wants anger i hate that it wants fear i hate that it wants shame i hate that i can give it everything
#thinking about how the two biggest things in my life rn - writing and my degree - are so punctuated by this fucking town#like my biggest fear with my degree isnt what id think of myself if i dropped out or failed#or even what my family would think bc they're nicer to me than i am#it's genuinely the thought of what my hometown lot would say that keeps me up at night#like the thought of my neighbour who told me id never accomplish anything bc my school was shitter than his fancy one#the thought of having to look him in the eye#or the thought of knowing my friends will tell their mums who are still on the PTA with old teachers who thought i was special#like small towns wrap you in this bubble of smallness and it suffocates you and you're so terrified and ashamed of every little mistake#and then my writing GOD i keep thinking about how tbos is probably the best thing ive ever written#and id publish it id genuinely try and get it published#but im just again so scared and ashamed and embarrassed like how do i explain to these assholes that im writing fantasy#and that's not even counting the gay angle bc that's the biggest part#i just am not brave enough for that yet and yeah maybe it's bc im still young but i shouldnt have to be brave to enjoy things to begin with#failure shouldnt require bravery when it's just a fact of life#and i think about if we'd lived in london like my dad wanted us to or if we'd gone to dublin bc my mum loves dublin#or even if we just hadn't come to this fucking town and we'd lived in ANY FUCKING CITY#my dad jokes about how in london he didn't even know his neighbours names and god i just crave that anonymity so fucking much#it's so frustrating and my mum takes it so personally whenever i say i hate the town and my sister says i'll grow out of it just because#she did but i genuinely dont think i will#and maybe that's the creative in me or the queer in me that she just cant relate to but i have always always hated this place#like a guy i have a VERY complicated history with messaged me the other day and we havent talked in TIME#and it was kinda sweet if not awkward just bc of our aforementioned rocky past but one thing he mentioned when i said i was at uni#was that he said really genuinely 'im so happy to hear that; i know you always wanted to get out of [town name]'#like he still remembers that about me even though weve been friends since we were 12 and i havent spoken to him since i was?? 17??#UGH i just hate it here and it's the fact that i'll never escape it either bc i cant totally abandon ship without also#abandoning my family and i refuse to do that and they refuse to leave so now im just stuck with all these CONNECTIONS#sorry to vent lol#ig this could be a poetry thing? we'll say it is instead of me just having another meltdown LMAO#hella goes home
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subunit-a · 6 months
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Been listening to malevolent and it really is like *slaps roof of malevolent* this bad boy can fit so many aromantics in it
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mugentakeda · 5 months
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iroh azula antagonism is sooo important to me guys i cant ever read azula redemption fics cus none of them include their insane beef. its such a lonely world out here. can u even imagine how nuts it wouldve been if she found out abt the white lotus. i need to talk ab them dude
i like to imagine the trip back to the fn after ba sing se zuko didnt talk to iroh at all while he was in the brig because he was so in shock and still reeling that iroh outright betrayed him and his family and nation for the avatar. those three years iroh spent with zuko on the ship encouraging him meant what now? "why would he banish you if he didnt care" meant what now that you helped what would undo the banishment evade me?
and azula has never been above gloating, even over the most pathetic scum. so she makes sure to head to the brig the night they depart, her exhausted brother conked out in his quarters none the wiser, mai and ty lee flanking her. and even though the mission had been to capture the avatar dead or alive, theres something about looking down at her restrained uncle whod been working the whole time to get zuko (who has an unending list of faults but is loyal above all else and had been trying his hardest to fulfill the terms of his banishment even while being a wanted criminal to their nation- something she will not overlook) to betray their nation is somehow more satisfying by tenfold than looking down at a restrained avatar.
she knows just how hard iroh takes losing. he lost ba sing se and a son years ago, and here he has lost ba sing se and a son once more. or a boy his senile, trauma-riddled mind has convinced him is his son. her uncle bet against her father by trying to turn his son against him for whatever traitorous and foolish reasons he has and frankly shes just overjoyed to have him out of the way once and for all, because azula is a dragon just as much as iroh and she will always strive to protect her blood, because irohs the one who let zuko into that war room in the first place, because what right does he have to allow her foolish brother that couldnt keep his trap shut to save his life in a situation like that and then have the audacity to try and turn him against them when zuko even being in ba sing se (instead of working under azula along with mai and ty lee like he shouldve been) was all his fault in the first place? she hopes freeing zuko of him stings unlike anything else. she hopes if that sting manifested in reality it would take the shape of an ugly stamp right across his face and haunt him for the rest of his days in his self made prison.
and then iroh can say that zuko had no choice BUT to be loyal above all else because if he wasnt thats a death sentence from ozai. and then azula can say that thats wise of her father then because if that wasnt how it was then their whole family would be an infested nest of lying cowards like iroh. mustve been something her dad learned from his dear old brother. and what can iroh even say to that
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fearforthestorm · 6 days
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the thing they don't tell you about being raised in a high-demand religion is that everyone who you grew up with at some point will either have a faithbreak or they will continue to stay. and both of those are kind of the hardest thing ever to watch someone you cared about go through.
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anotherpapercut · 9 months
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the girlbossification of ruth bader ginsburg has to be one of the most just plain annoying aspects of white liberal feminism. like it's not as actively harmful as a lot of other shit obviously. but it is soooooo annoying. if I never see another notorious rbg tote bag as long as I live it will be too soon
#her opinions and amicus' in many cases were iconic! not denying that certainly. she is absolutely AMONG the better justices in us history#HOWEVER her record on policing/the carceral system is very bad! genuinely bad!#and she just would not hold the conservative justices accountable. her and kagan are way too placating#and then she refused to retire in 2009 when there was a sitting democratic president and a fucking DEMOCRATIC SUPER MAJORITY#saying basically that no one else could do the job as well as her which is insane because sotomayor and KBJ literally are better :/#its also unbelievably conceited and just incredibly fucking selfish to knowingly doom the country because you think youre hot shit#started ranting abt this at work bc literally any talk even adjacent to the supreme court will set me off abt all of us court history#and my coworker was like 'well i dont think its very fair that she had to have that much riding on her decision to retire'#it literally is fair because that is the fucking job that she signed up for. this has literally always been how it fucking works#its a lifetime appointment. you either die unexpectedly or retire strategically#she accepted a position in which the entire country would depend on her but its not fair for the entire country to depend on her???#bullshit#im not fucking buying it. she did this knowing roe would likely be struck down as a result#she should absolutely be held accountable for that lmfao. you can know that she had a hand in a lot of great decisions for this country#while also knowing that she did a fucked up and extremely selfish thing
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maliciousalice · 4 months
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vexx-the-egg · 21 hours
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> Dies
> comes back wrong
> Dies again
> Comes back RIGHT this time. Turns out comming back wrong was actually the much needed push for them to not only put there needs first and understand there own inherent worth but also to find what they really want in life and broaden there horizons.
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ceasarslegion · 6 months
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Will never get over how many people on the piss on the poor site genuinely think that i, a transgender, full on support and agree with jowling kowling rowling to the extent that they warn people about me when they reblog my posts when the most supportive thing ive ever said about her was "I dont think people who read and enjoyed harry potter as children in the 90s and 00s should be strung up and publically executed in the town square for not being the most woke babies, and i dont think going through a grieving process regarding something folks had a genuine connection to and not wanting to talk about it at all anymore is indicative of their views towards a serious topic like systemic transphobia."
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caramelmochacrow · 21 days
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how ibuki's voice changed (joke)
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aq2003 · 7 months
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there comes a beautiful time in life where i have to ask myselg th question, "did i accidentally project too hard onto the character that i only relate to a little bit and in doing so hugely missed this one entire aspect/interpretation of the characters . am i stupid"
#ARE THEY STUPID!#dr who#this is about ten specifically his relationship w martha lmao#m being so serious i genuinely did not. see the 'ten was on purpose leading martha on to make her think her feelings were requited' angle#until going out into the wild and reading the tumblr posts. like i genuinely did not. at ALLLLLL. its like a brick hitting my head#bc the ENTIRE time s3 ten came off to me as 'doing stuff w no romantic intent behind it but would consistently get misinterpreted as such'#cuz IIIIIIIII have done this. IIIIIIII have run into this problem before. and it sucks so incredibly bad.#i actually do want to think my og interpretation still holds water cuz like. well i could gather all the evidence but#first one that comes 2 mind would be him going 'it's like when you fancy someone + they dont know you exist' to martha. in episode TWELVE#two routes; either ten is needlessly cruel and callous even after a season's worth of building up trust and friendship w her#or he is on super 'i dont think she has feelings for me and this is a very unhappy coincidence of a line' cocaine#Or the 'she fancied me' line in s4 to donna. either he is disregarding all the good and positive impact she did him. or the fact that this#went over his head the whole time made him look back on that time w discomfort <- I DID THIS. I MIGHT HAVE BEEN PROJECTING#THIS ONTO HIM. AM I STUPID.?.?????#you know how mikage rgu can either be read as an incel or a gay man lost so completely in the sauce#ten is like in this same ballpark. i think. of 'emotionally manipulative and disrespects women' or 'aroacespec and missed the cues'#funniest possible options to pick from. ten my brother how did you set yourself up like this#absolutely not denying that he was toxic and unhealthy during s3 in like 500 ways btw. but well. ths is the one concwpt that#flew over my head. so completely. and i can kind of see it now but i also still find it hard to incorporate into my belief system#bc its like. brother I'M aroace and missed the cues too lol#tangential note we can trace many problems down to a writer's room filled w white people not giving#martha's character the respect/agency she deserves for the existing narrative she has. bc they pulled this w mickey too both in series 1+2#if they wanted to portray ten as manipulative then him and martha should've been given more screentime#together where martha (or anyone else) calls him the FUCK out on this. and ten would need to suffer narrative consequences of doing smth#as fucked up as that rather than his happy stable dynamic he has w donna. if they wanted to portray him as oblivious then marthas character#shouldn't have constantly been boiled down to an unrequited crush (particularly her dialogue in the s3 finale - there's a LOT more reasons#why she would choose to leave/why their dynamic was unhealthy besides ten not returning her feelings)#if you read all these tags you may be entitled 2 financial compensation#ten and martha#aspec doc tag
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haunted-xander · 6 months
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I'll bury myself with your suffering, if that's what it takes
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llumimoon · 11 months
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me pulling out a whiteboard: okay so here's how us sparrow apologists can still win-
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francy-sketches · 9 months
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You know when you think about it…purple wedding is just a synonym for lavender marriage...hmmmmmmm
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