#from someone else who's been through stuff like that and knows how to actually critique a piece of writing

[lurkingshan]

Kinou nani tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?

You should know that I attempted to start this write up about half a dozen times before I managed to get a single word down. Every time I tried I just ended up staring at the wall. I don’t think I’ve been this emotionally stunned by a show since I Told Sunset About You, and I don’t say that lightly!

So, is this a good show? My god, YES. What an understatement. Let me tell you, as my MDL can attest, I’ve watched nearly 300 dramas. I’m sure I’ve watched even more Western shows since I had a 30 year head start on those. And I can say confidently that I’ve never seen anything quite like this gem.

Kinou nani tabeta, or What Did You Eat Yesterday?, is a drama about two middle aged gay men living their everyday lives, making and sharing food, reckoning with their identities and expectations, and figuring out how to be together in a long term relationship. That’s it, that’s the show. If that sounds boring to you, I gotta tell you: YOU ARE WRONG.

We meet Shiro and Kenji when they’re in their mid 40s and already a couple years into living together. Over the course of the show, we learn more about their relationship - how they got together, how they differ, where they struggle, where they shine, what they are still figuring out - and we see them work through it all, together. We see them at work, with friends, with their families, out in public, and in the privacy of their own home - we get a full and complete picture of their lives. And we are invited in to experience it with them and get up close and personal with their relationship in a way that feels both cozy and thrilling.

Now, I am not going to go into detail about everything that happens in this show, or attempt to provide deep analysis about its story, its characters, or the various cultures it depicts. This show was released in 2019, the manga began its run many years before that, and there are folks on this website - like @isaksbestpillow and @bengiyo - who have been at this a hell of a long time and thus have a broader context and lived experience from which to critically examine the show and its messages as they relate to Japanese familial values, life as a queer man from an older generation, and building community while living in a culture that is actively hostile to who you are. I implore you to go read their thoughts and learn from their wisdom. But what I will do is mention a couple (3… no 4, okay 5!) things that really made it stand out to me, a lifelong romance reader, avid media consumer, and drama enjoyer (I’m going to keep plot stuff vague because I hope if you’re reading this, you will be watching very soon!):

Let me repeat: this is a drama about a middle aged couple in a long term relationship, and the ongoing growth and deepening of their relationship is the main plot. Do I have to tell you how unique that is? The romance genre is rarely interested in what happens after the couple gets together, and even in other dramas featuring a couple in a LTR, the plot is usually about something else with the relationship in the background. And I’m fairly sure this is the only show of this nature in the entire bl genre (@absolutebl please fact check me if I’m wrong). In this show, the relationship is the point. It’s a rare look at what it actually takes to learn to deal with your baggage and share your life with someone, and I found it deeply moving.

My god these actors. With all due respect to the many fine actors in the bl industry, these two are on another level. We just never get to see seasoned actors of this caliber headlining ql dramas. If I have one tiny critique of this show, it’s that I found the moments when they let us listen in on the characters’ internal monologues mostly unnecessary - every emotional beat played out in their faces and body language. There’s this one scene I can’t stop thinking about, where the main pair are fighting, and one of them says something he doesn’t mean, and you see the regret on his face instantly, followed by a quick aborted movement as if to take it back, but his partner has already turned away and doesn’t see it. Just perfection. And the acting was so good in the finale (@waitmyturtles informed me my absolute fav moment was improvised for fucks sake) that it actually laid me out for like an hour, I was just sitting there in a crying daze.

The writing is so fucking smart. What’s absolutely brilliant about this show is that it’s structured like an episodic slice of life drama, but there is a deeper long term emotional arc at play and the writers forget nothing. Just like in life, in each episode something will happen, it won’t really get fully resolved, and the characters will move on. But on this show, it always comes back around, usually when your guard is down and they can inflict maximum damage by sucker punching you right in the solar plexus. I can hardly believe how many times this show managed to sneak attack me with emotional realness (official Shan cry count: 8/12 episodes caused me to burst into tears, sometimes more than once).

This show will take you through every possible destination on the spectrum of human emotion. I was so emotional while watching this show, in every sense. Crying both happy and sad tears. Swinging wildly between giddy delight, deep sadness, low key anger, and belly laughing. Sometimes the switch happens literally one scene to the next! And yet, there is an evenness to the tone and assuredness to the filmmaking that makes it all feel smooth. You never feel jerked around by the narrative. This is a credit to the writing, acting, and editing all coming together with perfect precision. The people who made this show are masters of their crafts.

OBVIOUSLY I MUST MENTION THE FOOD. Every episode of this show features at least one instance of a character making Japanese food that looks like the best thing you’ve never gotten the chance to eat. I do not recommended watching this without feeding yourself first, because it will have you salivating. And they don’t just show you the characters making the food (even narrating the recipes for you!), they always show you the characters actually eating and enjoying it. Some real foodies were involved in this production and as someone who loves to eat and absolutely was raised to view feeding people as a love language, I loved it.

So now that you are obviously dying to watch it, you must be wondering: where can I find this show? Let me point you to this post on @kinounaniresource, where the amazing Siiri has compiled all the video files and English subs you need. If you’re not familiar with how to use these, you’ll find instructions on her blog (if you get confused come ask me, please don’t bug her about it). I know sometimes shows being a little hard to access is a big deterrent to watching them, but please trust me that this is absolutely worth your time and effort, you will not regret it.

#kinou nani tabeta #what did you eat yesterday? #japanese bl #jdrama #man i am on such a good run with the classics lately #shan recommends #shan shouts into the void

[stardew-obsessed-ora]

I've been avoiding posting just so that Ulrich's ref could be my 100th POST. RAHHH. WOOO IT'S DONE!!

For anyone whose new to seeing this man, his name is Ulrich Althaus (Ulrich Mephisto Althaus if we're referring to him in other canons). He's a Technical Lead for Joja Corporations, and despite being introverted, he can come off as rather judgmental to people who don't know him well enough to understand how he speaks. He's around 18 years old when he first arrives in the Republic itself, finding himself staying around Downtown Zuzu for a while. He's somewhere in his late 20s/early 30s when he stations himself in the valley itself and tries to gather the resources to set up a Joja Brand tech store. In his mind, he truly, deeply believes that Joja can help benefit the valley. He ends up having rose-tinted glasses over the company for the longest time, and gradually has those viewpoints shattered the longer he stays within the valley. Of course, I plan on building his lore up gradually and through slow answers here and there, so I'm really trying not to spew out too much :3 also he's ungodly picky i mean he hates more than the average farmer LMFAO. bro has most of the universal hates too

More general description stuff/expansion stuff (fair warning its long):

 Ulrich's personality is a fascinating one. He feels as though he has a reputation to uphold, and will often shut down most, if not all critique coming toward him unless they are genuine. He often-times does not stand for attacks on his own character. Usually though, he’s the one giving critique to others, but it mostly comes off as insults rather than from a genuine place of concern due to how blunt he is. The way he phrases things tends to be derogatory in nature due to his lack of filter. He tends to get annoyed when people act offended, and genuinely doesn’t understand why they took his concern the way they did.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of feeling he has to constantly uphold a reputation, he is quite the perfectionist. It's difficult for him to accept his own mistakes without shutting down and having to distance himself from the situation awhile. To put it simply, he feels like he’s failed those around him through his errors. While he gives others the opportunity to correct their margin of error, he would never give himself that leeway. 

Due to Ulrich’s lack of social understanding, he tends to struggle at fraternizing with others and oftentimes misses obvious jokes or sarcasm within sentences. He is particularly bad at this when matched with tone through text, and will often find himself over-explaining something that didn’t need to be explained to begin with just to be met with “blah blah blah its a joke”. Though his lack of tonal understanding is better in person, he can still be found occasionally left confused and bewildered at interactions.  

Speaking of social scenarios with Ulrich, he is relatively introverted, and prefers brief interactions with strangers in person as to not burn himself out. He prefers interactions with little to no people around, and in general much prefers spaces with little to no activity. This is one of many reasons which his line of work involves remote involvement and virtual meetings on his end. While this issue does not present itself in online chatrooms, he still finds himself burnt out of interaction occasionally if he’s had to speak to those hes unfamiliarized with for too long. 

To those he’s come to know, however, he can be a rather clingy, overprotective individual who wishes for nothing more than to be there for the ones he’s come to love. His clingy nature comes from a place of fear, as he doesn’t want to go through losing someone else he’s come to grow close to. Though, he can be a bit overbearing at points. 

Other Likes:  

 - He highly enjoys programming, creating things from scratch through the languages he knows,  and being able to experience anything which was decently coded. He’s actually a total nerd for video games and especially for computer viruses. He loves being able to dissect things like that. 

He enjoys heavy metal music and EDM. His playlist can be a jumpscare for those entirely oblivious to his music tastes.

He enjoys hiking and exploring alone in his free-time. Its relaxing for him to be able to get out and exercise in any way he can. 

He’s a total dork for mythology and the study of all things surrounding mythological creatures. 

He gets overly hyper during the festival of the moonlight jellies 

He’d never actually admit it, but he really likes dancing, the art behind dancing, and is a decent dancer himself. 

Other Dislikes: 

He has a phobia of needles

He’s outright terrified of Krampus. His father told him ONE tale for bedtime and it forever sealed his fate. 

He dislikes overly loud and obnoxious individuals, finding them quick to drain him. 

He dislikes summer, finding himself overheating easily in the harsh sun

Despite being a Joja employee, he somewhat holds disdain for the way a majority of the branches are run. 

Geese. I don’t need to explain this one, I’m sure it’s justifiable.

Strengths:

One of Ulrich’s greatest strengths is how agile he is. Being relatively skilled on his feet, he is able to run away from most confrontations. Of course, he’d find that shameful, so instead he uses this agility of his to get to and from places at concerning speeds. He might have knee issues, but that doesn't mean he's not fast as fuck.

He's a total computer nerd. Got a tech problem? He’s probably your guy to help out. 

He’s a surprisingly good chef

He was also taught a decent amount of fishing by his father, making him decent at it. 

He’s very outspoken about how he feels regarding any given situation

Weaknesses:

He’s ass at farming. Do not make this man do farmwork, you’ll regret it deeply. Please PLEASE don’t make this man do farm work.

He has the depth perception of a literal toddler. If he’s running somewhere, there’s a 50% chance he’ll slam into a pole on the way there.

As stated in his bio, he has difficulty in social situations. This can make bonding with others difficult, and causes him his fair share of conflict. Especially when he mistakes a joke as a snide remark and starts to comment about how it shouldn’t have been said and it spirals out of control.

He’s stubborn to a fault. He has a very stern set of morals which are hard to bend. Not only that, but his strict internal code causes him to react oddly to anything which bends it even slightly, causing even MORE conflict on his part. 

He’s very outspoken about how he feels regarding any given situation

close up on some things that might be hard to read + the chibis that im absurdly attached to (i might post them standalone)

#sdv oc #sdv ulrich #stardew valley #stardew valley art #stardew valley oc #sdv #sdv oc ref #my oc art #sdv art #stardew valley fanart #stardew #sdv farmer #stardew farmer #farmer ulrich #jojasona #joja corp #stardew art #sdv fanart #stardew valley farmer #stardew fanart #farmer stardew valley #this took longer than anticipated but thats because I kept double guessing what to put #it might be a bit messy but thats because i never make references LOL #i need to draw exactly when his view of joja gets burst right before his eyes #i like to imagine its when he's talking to morris and they talk about times they've been shafted #and he realizes he's been treated like a damned idiot/treated like he was lazy for his disabilities #and he's like “ok well it could be worse” #then he realizes how he's been looked down on despite his continued unyielding technical efforts #i wanna talk about him more hhrhJHJHREJHRJER #hes my soggy wet cat guy

[vampiremeerkat]

I kinda need some advice (if you're comfortable giving), how does one keep their cool/sanity in the hellish atmosphere that is fandom nowadays? I really wanna get back to fanart and stuff as purely a hobby (and it was a huge part of my childhood) but considering how much of a warzone it is nowadays, I dunno if I can. Got anything?

Don't think I'm the right person to ask, I've not had that many entanglements with fellow fans throughout my online career. It's easy to assume that's because my overall viewership/online presence is low, but I've had the occasional semi-viral success and always enjoyed more praise than "criticism". I'd say fandoms in general are lenient and supportive, but every and any kind of community in the world has an insufferable minority. They shout and have alot of time on their hands, making it seem like you're dealing with a crowd, but that's never the case. Even if hundreds of people jump you, billions walk the Earth; it's not even a fraction of a percent you've displeased. But here's an actual answer to your question: In short:

Choose your fandoms wisely.

Don't overstay your welcome by sticking with one.

Don't join any online communities or participate in ongoing discourse. You're only here to draw.

Train yourself to understand that nothing in life fucking matters anyway. :(

In ｌｏｎｇ: I switch my focus alot. If I attract fans of a particular fandom, but the next thing I show off is less likely to tickle their interest, most will leave again, and it's kinda protecting me from growing an unsettlingly invested fanbase. Praise and attention never motivated me to stick around with one series for long, because I know what's waiting around the corner and don't want to be known as "the <insert this one piece of media here> artist", anyway. Look at my nonsense and go away, I just want to die alone! I'm also not active at any online forums and rarely look up and comment on other people's work. Spares you alot of "who asked you"-styled responses. I might've not when I was younger, but agree with the sentiment now. Unless you come across something criminal, why intrude on someone else's fun. Grumble about it on your account if you must, but don't take it to theirs.. even though it's valid to argue that posting something online is an automatic invitation for others to critique it, especially when you don't apply any form of visibility restrictions. I don't really care to discuss ideas with fellow fans. Weird claim, since my Tumblr exists, but I started this account to post Deviantart stuff. People showed up one day and started asking questions about the fandoms I've been involved in (or haven't), but it's not my hobby to get deep about a fictional property. Without getting instigated, anyway. I think about a question's subject as I read the words, do my best to dissect the whole thing and not throw around one-sentence replies, but seldom have the answer ready in my head. The3Eds was the only forum I enjoyed myself at, and the things I talked about over there barely had anything to do with Ed, Edd n Eddy. In the end, no one will be able to offer you one foolproof strategy on this matter. There've been many artists in the past who minded their business and were slaughtered by strangers. You need to be the kind of person who doesn't take online verbal abuse to bed. That's hard to do if you're looking for validation. You could avoid large fandoms that are known to attract the overly defensive and offensive, but if you have to tiptoe through life for others, what's even the point. Know that the internet is a luxury you don't have to participate in. Log off for a week or so if you're feeling down, or alternatively, delete all comment notifications indiscriminately as you keep on doing your thing.. unless you insist on deleting negative comments, but I don't think you should. Why stop people from embarrassing themselves in public. I don't think I've ever deleted comments, unless it's copy-pasted stuff/spam, because what often happens is that the poster regrets and deletes it themselves. I suppose that has value too. Allow that shit to stay alive, so the poster may one day return to it and potentially realise they're better than that. It's easier to keep your calm when you humanize your critics, if you can. The way a person expresses themselves may be trash, but what is it they're saying, and can the reason be empathized with? Sometimes you're dealing with someone who's obviously a child. I struggle to get angry at people under the age of 20. But really -and more importantly- no one should waste their time on fighting fellow fans when it concerns an issue that's objectively not important, you have better things to do. Try to close your eyes for it, it's seldom personal, even if the attacks try to be. People can pretend, but they don't know you and never will.

#fandom

[magicalgirlpictureencyclopedia]

Idk why I'm back here, but I do want to say that I think we should talk more about gems in the magical girl genre such as Petite Princess Yucie, Jewelpet Twinkle, and Fairy Musketeers rather than niche 2010's titles we've (the fans, idc about them much) all agreed on aren't good. Besides beloved 90's-2000's titles (Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Ojamajo Doremi, Tokyo Mew Mew, Shugo Chara to name a few) and the rare retro fan who is into Minky Momo or Creamy Mami... I see a lot of, "Well, [×] was a bad show and the genre is ruined!", but it always comes off as someone who doesn't really watch the genre. There's a lot of good shows out there if you check them out, but if you aren't actively looking for recommendations or looking for titles then you can't really expect to find much.

As harsh as it may come off, in my experience the average American magical girl fan isn't going to watch or even know of obscure titles much to look for mhch more. Most people's introduction to the genre here was through Sailor Moon, and that expectation of those action oriented media sticked. Therefore, the majokko (魔女っ子, witch girl) and magical girl idol titles are pushed into the background. Some would point the finger at licensing, but it also misses how a lot of these titles aren't commonly talked about as is. It was worse before Retrocrush on Discotek, but at the least you can find people who are into stuff like Magical Emi or Pastel Yumi. Still, it's hard for me to grasp how a lot of the genre is ignored in bigger magical girl spaces, especially on sites such as Twitter. I get highly confused when I only see people talking about Precure or Sailor Moon, yet make a lot of assumptions pushed to places that aren't really responsible for that.

Sure, licensing could be better, but that's a complex issue I've seen people go into. A friend of mines posts about how deals were set up for shows like Shugo Chara, but companies weren't interested. There's a massive problem overall with getting girls media off the ground as well. However, it is also on fans to check out more than what many would call the "cream of the crop" if they want other experiences. The optimizing of "dark themes" from newer fans also does not help, as it relegates the genre into a very odd competition between which is more mature or serious, yet forgetting at the end of the day many of these titles are for kids and cam stand on their own without vague comparisons. If you're not even going to look into say, titles beyond Princess Tutu, then I can't really take demands of wanting the genre to explore other themes seriously when several already have done that...

Yes, I'm saying this because most people in the online spaces I frequent at most will just watch Precure, Madoka Magica, and Sailor Moon, yet refuse to look at anything else and commonly put themselves into discussions to make generalizations about media they know they will never watch. It's especially weird to see as a fan of adv games/visual novels and mecha anime, where I see people do the exact opposite - dig up old titles and openly talk about them. I'm not expecting fans to automatically know what stuff like Galaxy Fraulein Yuna is, or games like Silky Lip and Valis, but I do think with media critique and common complaints your scope of criticism should be beyond a popular 90's titles and a few from the 2000's. I also find so many conversations dull cause I've been in the fandom for a hot minute and recommendations I rarely see, but moreso complaints about the same 6-8 shows instead of uh, idk, watching something else entirely.

Again, enjoy your shows, just don't jump into convos "educating people" (telling me or others stuff like majokko don't count, too many other examples to list here), or claiming all of the genre was boring/good/bad/kiddy before [×]. I also promise you it's actually rare to find a magical girl title that doesn't address "serious themes", cause even the ones about fairy tales and cutesy magical schools have child abandonment and trauma rampant through them. :/

#i'm being blunt here when I say a lot of people on Twitter are like this #magicalgirlofthedaystuff #magical girls #sorry I find these fans to be the most toxic and boring people to conversate with #anime #you can like these shows but generalizing the rest of the genre as bad is annoying #there were also only like 5 or 6 dark mg 2010's titles as is and everything besides Precure or SM Crystal from that era was heavily ignored

[impunkster-syndrome]

my reply on that post was about the idea that the fandom would be unwelcoming to plural folk. i basically said that i myself am plural and that while we cannot control the actions of the fandom, we absolutely curate bad behavior in the fancord where we can catch it, and obviously do not discourage sch fictives considering *i* am a clown with fictives.

but i will add since im here that kitty blocking you is not because you Dared to criticize kit. it's because all of the dogpiling and negativity was unbelievably stressful, you all behave as if there is no person behind the screen, or that she is trying to hide behind trauma as an 'excuse.' that is Not the case. kitty blocked, and will continue to block, every single person involved with those blogs just because again, it was so stressful as a traumatized individual. so much toxicity buried any potentially Good criticisms. we Hear yall on the issues like barry not being drawn as fat as he usee to be anymore, or polly missing their cane, we Will rectify actual issues like that.

we welcome issues being brought up and have listened many times before. the fact of the matter is is that no one was going about it constructively at all.

While I do interact with some criticism blogs, I legitimately don't care for some of the criticism from blogs and approach the media as someone entirely new to it. Media analysis is my hobby, and I see so much potential in Sparklecare plus the related media like the therapy spinoff as someone who has dealt with stuff like systemic ableism and interpersonal ableism. I think some of the criticism blogs don't exactly focus on the bigger issues at hand- the lack of nuance, pacing, the high barrier of entry to being able to understand the media through expecting readers to have done hours of scrolling through social media for lore, the problems of not having page numbers on the site visible and not being able to easily skip to specific pages, etc. However, you do not help yourself here by clearly never having actually read and understood my posts. In fact, I do see some staff acting like trauma makes the media immune to criticism, when trauma can make beautiful art that can speak to people at a core level like Alice: Madness Returns. It just can't get that good without people actually being able to point out things that can be fixed and improved upon. The timing for being blocked despite never actually interacting with the main sparklecare blog plus the posts about how people shouldn't take it as anything other than vent art despite the site's about page itself claiming it is a social commentary tell me that it was about my posts and critique of the media as what it claims itself to be. I had never seen anyone else talk about it in that way in the tags, which was astounding to me as someone that reads social commentary like Discworld and is currently working through Lolita so I can write about the objectification of CSA survivors and erasure of our stories and identities by abusers. If it was never meant to be seen as social commentary, that needs to be removed from the site.

I approach it less like a disappointed fan and more like a creative because I've been in Kittycorn's position at about the same age- 15. I wanted to make a twine game about my trauma and abuse I was still undergoing because I wanted to know why I was being abused and it was a cry for someone to help me. There were also many other projects, and some that I have refined over time. I have OCs I talk about and I use them to explore parts of myself. This is my disability blog too, and I'm going to have opinions on disability-related media and representation in it.

I honestly suggest you read over the posts I have written about Sparklecare and then reevaluate if you think I am coming from a malicious place like you seem to think I am.

As for the alterhuman thing, I will say that it was from publicly available information at the time. I'm not going to be in a fandom discord when I have stuff like a job to worry about and the whole media is a migraine risk to me.

Also- I've seen some staff literally tokenize Kittycorn and act like kits schizophrenia is what makes kit excused from all critique. The holding up of kit as a bully victim and not a 23 year old person able to handle kits own issues is infantilizing to disabled people. We can handle our own shit. You personally need to learn the line between bullying and publicly discussing media that was made public, as someone who got extensively bullied in school for years. It's not the same thing here. Kittycorn is a person behind the screen- but so are the people you proclaim as bullies and dehumanize by acting like all criticism is unfounded or coming from "bad people."

#the blackbox askbox #sparklecare critical #sparklecare hospital #sparklecare

[captain-hen]

re your complaints/critiques on 911 said in an anon response:

I 100% agree!! On the finale, I love everything about the first 30 minutes! the bridge collapse is everything, i could go on about that for hours, even the birth on the couch, i thought that was a funny twist in the couch theory. I love everyone else's storylines (bathena honeymoon, henren's newest foster daughter, madney wedding planning) I could like eddie with marisol if it ends with him growing and them not together, but buck's ending was so infuriating! like you said it felt like he was going in circles which can be true to real life, doesn't always make for good television. The biggest thing im worried about it it being nearly exactly like bucktaylor, especially if they last a season. I don't care if its a slowburn but like you said, theres slowburn and setting up something with no payoff over and over

anyways, Im surprised they didn't circle back to jo and mallory (molly maybe?). they usually circle back to the injuries of the week to get the like conclusion so (and i didn't realize until after) to not circle back to them felt weird. Do you think we'll get them in the next season?

OH also i thought it was so interesting that we almost / could've gotten the lees for this ep! tbh i thought it would be a scene where chim is in the hospital with maddie (if this wouldn't be a scene were maddie and chim jump the gun andd marry) and they reaffirm that chim is a psuedo son to them this leads to my other question: did you think we would've gotten a madney wedding like in the S2 finale for Bathena and would you have wanted that?

anyways, I thought this ep did the platonic relationships really well (buck and hen, buck and chim, hen and chim, and buck and bobby) and did literally every other storyline well except for buck's ending

i realize like as i finished that this was kinda neg so if you don't want to respond to any of this dw I understand adsf

i enjoyed everything related to the emergency! i thought it was done very well, while i wanted it to be more high-stakes i get why they couldn't end what they thought might be their last episode on a cliffhanger or something. the 'pay it forward' thing really worked so well, not just with the civilians and jeff but i also clocked it with ravi and buck (someone also pointed out that the 118's degree of injuries was based on how much experience they've had on the job, which is why ravi didn't face any danger at all, and i thought that was an interesting theme!). i enjoyed how they wrapped up the other characters and i love that bathena got their cruise.

my major problem is the way buck's storyline was resolved, while the sperm donor thing was wrapped up very well; i'm unhappy and tired of him going in circles with natalia yet again. i also dislike the implication that him ending the season being single would mean it's an 'unhappy' ending for him—aside from all the obvious issues with that statement, buck literally started out this season by trying to be comfortable in being single and figuring out life by himself. it would have been the PERFECT conclusion to his arc. i love buck, i really do, but i'm not interested in sitting through who knows how many more episodes of him trying to learn this lesson again, i'm just not.

the thing with eddie and marisol was actually cute and it went more or less how i expected tbh. the way she was re-introduced left very little doubt that eddie would date her again. (given the lack of set-up, tho, i wouldn't be surprised if they opened up s7 with the relationship having fizzled out during the time-gap).

when i saw the synopsis mentioning the lees, i thought they might appear in a montage of sorts with chim recovering and i'm disappointed we didn't get to see that, especially with the stuff with chim's dad. (side note: 911 really needs to do better on the chimney front. i'm gonna need a season 7 that treats him like his own person for the entirety of it, not just maddie's partner. 6B has given us some of that, but i need more).

i'm actually glad they didn't rush the madney wedding. the bathena wedding being the way it was kinda made sense given the circumstances of how they got together in the first place, and how their relationship progressed from there. madney on the other hand—they've always taken things slow, they've been cautious and thoughtful while taking each step, largely because of their own past and baggage. what worked for bathena wouldn't really work for them, especially considering maddie's trauma surrounding marriage, i'm really glad they didn't rush this.

#neethu answers #poc-movie-supremacy #911 spoilers

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

(sent through here in case you don’t answer notes. replies? idk, i’m new to tumblr. feel free to disregard if you do reply to those.)

Are you willing to engage in a convo/elaborate on disliking Taehyung? I can see that you already have somewhere, but I’m new here so I can’t find that. All that I have gleaned is that his actions have bothered you somehow? To be honest, I would like to critique one of your posts by saying that I think you saying “I don’t have the energy for him, I’m trying to be nice” is, like, harmful? Rude? Maybe a bit weird? Yes, I am Taehyung-biased, but I would still be saying this if you said that to Jimin or Minho or, idk, Harry Styles. I just think it’s an unnecessarily mean and even threatening thing to say to someone without being a bit more upfront about your reasoning. I think it would be helpful to link those old posts you made, though I get that that’s not possible for every ask. Anyway, I guess I’ve become the Taehyung-likers in your inbox (or whatever this thing is called) that you don’t have energy for lol, but I genuinely would like to know your reasoning. Thanks for all the other posts, too, your queer Bangtan analyses are very cool and awesome.

Hey @raspberrytaegi

I saw you sent this same message in the comments. I decided to answer here because it's easier to write. This was during my break, so now I finally decided to actually answer your questions.

In a way, I understand where you're coming from, specifically because it appears that you only recently opened up your blog and you somehow stumbled on to mine and you happened to see me dismissing something that was Tae-related. Now, there was a context to that. Some of it is obvious from my blog, other stuff was more personal in a way. This is not me justifying myself because as you will see in what I will explain down the line, I don't think it's necessary for me to do so.

Me saying I don't have the energy for him was right before I went on a break and put the blog on hold. My initial plan was to wait until right before Christmas, but I just had had enough of anything BTS and the 90 percent of asks that were piling up in my inbox. If I came across as rude in that ask, I was just the same in the other ones I responded during those days because I simply didn't have the patience anymore for nonsense. So, there was that.

For anyone who has been following me for a while, they sort of know what my stance is in regards to Tae and I've never been shy about it. I can't link all my posts about him because it would take too much work and time that I do not have. I also wish my tagging system would be more consistent, but if you are interested, you can check the "tae", "taehyung" "V" tags on my blog and you could probably find some more. And what you will find is that indeed, I'm not a fan of him. But I also don't subscribe to this idiotic mentality of what this fandom would call anti, hater or whatever else label is out there. Which means, I don't have a hate boner for him. I may be biased and that influences the way I perceive him, but I'm also not going to drag him for the sake of it. I had anons saying his friendship with the Wooga squad is fake and just for the show they made which was something that I did not agree. I sort of live posted during the Grammy awards last year and 80 percent of my posts was me enjoying Tae doing his thing. His first trip to Paris was on my radar as well and in a good way. I also talked about the "dating scandal" back in September and how the fans are being shitty towards the entire thing (in way more words anyway. If that is of interest to you, I tagged it under the ship name).

At the same time, I'm not a fan of his behavior. I think he can be shady some times and this is something that would get me stoned on twitter. He can come across as rude and spoiled and that's something that personally doesn't work for me. I also don't expect everyone to agree. Some things that I don't like might be the same reason why others are his fans. They like how Tae is more serious and quiet, I see it as unwilligness to be professional (in some group video messages and even Run BTS episodes. Everyone can have a difficult day and not be in the mood at all, but it's a job where they play games. That's it. And it's not a one time occurence. If it was that case, I probably wouldn't have noticed).

I don't understand his tendency to lie. Especially when there's intention (or it comes across as that). This is a behavior that is seen by his fans as Tae just being himself, he's cool like that. Fine. But not to me. He posts a fake tattoo just because, he says he's having a collab for a Christmas song but that didn't happen and it came out of the blue, and so on.

I don't hate the guy, I just don't vibe with him at all and he's the type of person that I can't be a fan of. That's it. It's not a crime. And I'm also not going to judge you for coming to my inbox and wanting to understand why I think that way because you're Tae biased. I get it. I also don't get some of the opinions written about Jimin and Jungkook so I understand your position.

I also don't mind the passive agressiveness in your ask about me not having the energy for a Tae-biased fan. I "judge" my anons mostly on how they choose to express themselves and the willingness to understand different point of views, not based on who they stan. If someone is at least mostly reasonable (which you were), we can have a conversation.

Lastly, I saw that you liked some of my other posts, thank you! Seeing that you didn't immediately sent me a hate post and being able to see beyond an dismissive answer to an ask I answered played a big part in me being open now in having this conversation.

#bmt asks #tae ask

[call-me-double-trouble]

Meet Charlatan, my Double Trouble fankid! He’s trans, bisexual, and 13 years old. He’s best friends with Finn (Adora and Catra’s kid, for those who don’t know), who is 15 years old in this timeline.

He’s adopted, but used shapeshifting to resemble his moddy better. In my lore, I go with the AU where DT is the long-lost ruler of Green Glade, thus getting their power from a runestone and being able to share that power with Char. However, if that’s not your vibe, he could also probably use sorcery to shapeshift. Either way, he’s only able to shapeshift partially so far, so bits of his original form peek through (he’s based on a gila monster, hence the coloration, pattern, and thicker tail). 

–More character info and another drawing under the cut–

DT found him as a baby in the Crimson Waste. His mother had just been murdered in a mugging-gone-wrong, and the baby lizard was left in her cold arms, crying and wailing. He was left there for a while before DT happened to pass by and noticed. They took pity on the poor creature (in my lore, they were in a similar situation as a baby when they got taken from Green Glade to the Crimson Waste, so the whole ordeal reminded them of themself, which compelled them to go against their instincts and do something). They tried to find some relative, someone to take care of the orphan, but no luck. Since they’d recently discovered through being Finn’s godparent that they didn’t mind kids, actually kind of liked them, and was rather good with them, they decided to raise the baby as their own, with help from Casta (yes, this is in the Castaspellma AU too–my mind works in crossovers). 

Although Char lost his mother when he was a baby, he still gets anxious when alone and doesn’t like being separated from DT for too long. DT was his first source of comfort after his mother’s death, and their heartbeat became his favorite lullaby. He likes to hug them and rest his ear against their chest to listen to it and know that he’s safe when in their arms. It’s the surest way to calm him down during a panic attack. Most often, he hugs them koala-style so they can still walk around and do stuff while he clings to them.  It was a little easier when he was still a small toddler, but even though he’s getting too big at age 13, DT still holds him and lets him sit in their lap. They’re completely used to it at this point.

Char grew to be one of DT’s biggest fans and attends every play they have (so long as they’re PG-13 or under). DT tried to get him into acting, but they both learned the hard way that he gets terrible stage fright. Thankfully, his first role was as a tree, so freezing up actually helped in that case. He didn’t move, didn’t even blink, and searched the audience until he found the first familiar face. He locked eyes with Glimmer and stared at her the entire time, in desperate need of moral support. Ever since then, he only helps out behind the scenes; building sets, helping tech master Bow with the lighting, making props, and assisting Finn in watching and critiquing DT’s rehearsals to ensure they’re at their best with each performance.

Speaking of Finn–I’ve seen lots of interpretations of them portraying them as DT’s protege, learning acting from DT, or otherwise being closer with DT than anyone else, so I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny if DT’s kid was like that with She-Ra?” Everyone jokes that Finn’s and Charlatan’s personalities were swapped at birth. Whereas Finn’s quite the budding actor, Char’s been obsessed with She-Ra ever since he first learned about her. He’s been studying sword-fighting under her wing and is getting decent at it, but still has a ways to go. He even made a DIY She-Ra sword bracelet to match how Adora used to carry her sword around. He has big dreams of becoming a hero like She-Ra, and he knows all the legends and stories surrounding her. Because of this, sometimes the crew jokingly refers to him as “Flutterina.”

Everyone expected Char to turn out more like DT. Some thought he’d be an exact copy of them, and his striking resemblance to them didn’t help. Even DT expected they’d rub off on him a little more. Char chose to rebel by not rebelling. Everyone thought DT’s kid would lie, steal, cause mayhem and chaos, and get into all sorts of mischief. Therefore, Char tells the truth, gives people gifts, does favors for free, follows rules, and is a relatively quiet kid who rarely gets into trouble of his own accord, though often gets pulled along with Finn’s schemes. DT will often say things like,

DT: Okay, bedtime is 8 PM. I’m going to be out until midnight and definitely wouldn’t know if you stayed up late.

Char: Ok, 8 PM it is.

DT: I mean really, I would have no idea if you disobeyed me and, say, invited Finn over and ate junk food and broke something.

Char: Is that so?

DT:

Char: Then I might go to bed early.

DT: Listen here you little shit--

It’s not that Char has anything wrong with how his moddy acts–he loves his moddy more than anything, but he’s just not the same person as them, and he doesn’t like the pressure other people have inadvertently placed on him to act just like them. That’s why he sometimes goes out of his way to do the opposite of what they would do, and he struggles a bit to find himself. He changes his appearance here and there in an attempt to find what feels like him rather than DT. The pink hair was one such thing. Sure, he based it on Glimmer’s hair color, but it still feels like something that’s his and helps set him apart from his moddy. In adulthood, he’ll differ from them a bit more, but still resemble them enough. I don’t have a solid design yet, but I imagine he’ll let more of his gila monster traits shine through and will have built more muscle than DT has since he’s more of a fighter.

Thank you so much for reading all that! I know it was a lot. Let me know if you want to see more drawings of Char, or have me write a scene with him, or if you have any questions about him! I’m happy to talk about my OCs any day. If anyone wants to draw him, you can--just tag me!

#double trouble #she ra double trouble #spop double trouble #spop #double trouble fan kid #spop dt #she ra dt #long post #charlatan #my oc #my art #mine

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. LMAO there are literal myths from 2k+ years ago of mythology being pro breast feeding?? like there's a myth of Hera being so pro-breastfeeding she doesn't even flinch at the idea of feeding some random baby (Heracles) that Athena was holding who was being fussy. The nymphs are also called "nurses" to various deities and their kids, which including breastfeeding them. why do LO fans act like she's invented everything thats been common place for centuries at this point?

2. The gay representation in this is so bad that I forget about Athena and Hestia being LOVERS. I only remembered cause a fan mentioned them during an argument about diversity 😂 How ironic 

3. the reason RS doesnt get why her "fertility godess" idea is easily broken apart with even a second of thought it because she has this bizarre view of the world where she thinks a mythology that was fairly fluid in its ideals (esp with sex and gender) is to be like you know whats a good idea, separating EVERYTHING by sex to where it's more conservative than 800 BC. zeus is more of a fertility god than persephone is but god forbid rachel not be gender essentialist about everything in this comic

4. I do love that one panel of Persphone dressed as a Fury bc it was supposed to be her being "badass and sexy" that Hades literally GROANED over it (bleh) and it's like MA'AM she literally looks twelve??? does she know even short people have normal proportions as adults??? anyway jail Hades I hate him

5. I've seen some people critique LO for the colorful gods trope and tbh I don't think it's an issue? I think the issue is more how lazy Rachel is with it. Hercules and OSP put thought into the colors with still unique designs, so the color enhances their designs. meanwhile with LO color is their ONLY design, because there's nothing to tell anyone apart besides color, but even then it fails when all the nymphs are just Persephone with pointy ears, and there is now another Hera clone running around

6. The thing is to me Rachel SHOULD take criticism and fix what she can, but her only solutions to any criticism she does listen to is often just?? stupid?? The "internalized misogyny" and "but capitalism!" bits don't actually fix any issue within the comic and it's more of a virtue signal from Rachel she "hears them" but won't actually do anything and just wants them to shut up. It's also as subtle as the color schemes she uses, which is not at all. She's as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face.

7. I saw someone refer to the LO art as a saccharine "gender-reveal art style" and I laughed so hard that I'm never ever calling it anything else again

8. Isn't Persephone in comic confirmed to have stopped aging at 19? so wouldn't a timeskip not help the age gap? i's not like Hades somehow got younger. idk the specifics but it seems she didn't just stop physically aging at 19, she's also mentally and emotionally stuck at 19 too, so her technically being 30+ now doesn't actually help when she's still going to be 19 forever anyway. anyway RS isn't a very good writer.

9. Ok so either the rest of the season now is RS backtracking to do flashbacks which makes the timeskip a waste of time/random bc why not just go through the day by day style she was doing anyway in that case OR she'll just be like "idk YOU imagine what happened i'm moving ahead" which is so?? lazy??? and a waste of everyone's time?? like dont dick your readers around for almost half a decade with stuff that doesnt matter only to NOT show them over a decade of in story development??

10. ZEUS NUMERO UNO!!!! he's a better king than hades

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

I’m really finna have to keep this short because I feel like this has to be said by me or else I’ll pull out my eyeballs. What was the point? I mean really, what was the point of anything honestly. Now that they’ve officiated what they were I feel literally nothing. I feel like if I was still into this series like I was a few years ago I’d still be incredibly disappointed. Hopefully this will be a short rant because I really have zero critiques this time or points other than disappointment.

That had to be the most dragged out slow burn in my life. I personally love slow burns, it’s one of my biggest passions and the key theme that really holds me when it comes to reading the more romantic comics and books, so this being literally the only climax to Lore Olympus is really making me feel emptier than a hollow tree (probably not a good comparison). We’ve been waiting for this for how many years people? And now we finally get this lazy and rushed reveal. This is honestly so annoying to me, like I’m in between the moods of being annoyed, disappointed, and emotionless. There was nothing truly uplifting and romantic or even new that’s been happening within the chapters. Persephone and Hades are literally doing the exact same things they’ve been doing and actually let’s go down to my next point.

The reason why I say this was a poorly done slow burn because there was no real build up to get to this point. I’m not even kidding! The reason I love slow burns is because it takes character development and romance to a new level, character A could absolutely despise and hate character B but over the course of the novel and after multiple interactions over the course of MONTHS and YEARS they start to see each other in a new light and more complex feelings and relationships could bubble up from just the development alone! Or two characters secretly in love with each other but knowing about the circumstances of their situations causing them to want to reject those feelings over and over despite their various interactions showing the audience of how fondly and lovingly they see each other until they finally reach the climax of them accepting their emotions and developing and fixing their circumstances while working their way through their relationship. You see what I’m getting at? The whole point of slow burns is to have the characters build their attraction with each other over the course of the comic, to have them not want to engage in anything romantic even though they’re yearning for it, and it doesn’t even always have to be just about romance it could be wanting to start a budding friendship! But it’s all about the buildup and development between two characters getting to that point, there’s never been room for Persephone and Hades to have any buildup because since day one they’ve been all over each other, lusting after one another if you will, and displaying obvious acts of affection publicly and behind closed doors. That’s why it didn’t really matter to me when they officiated that they were dating because I’ll be real with you, it seemed to me like they were already dating with how they were acting.

I’m so serious! Who kisses, cuddles, SLEEPS WITH, buys things with, cooks with, cleans with, and hangs out with someone that they think of as a friend?? Or better yet, a stranger! They’ve been doing all of these romantic things with each other whether you like it or not without any sort of development. They’ve been like this and there’s zero need for development if everything was already like that. But that’s also what makes this so weird for me, they’ve done all this relationship level stuff without even talking or really getting to know each other on a personal level, why do you now want to start officiating yourselves in a relationship even though you were doing all of this weird shit with him? Why do you now wanna get to know him after you’ve all been kissing each other and stuff?? Wouldn’t you want to know more about him before hand?? I just don’t understand it. It’s really weird to me and giving me more evidence as to why I think that the only emotions they’ve been feeling is lust.

Something else that made me shake my head was the Zeus moment. Already talked about why I was annoyed with them being sooooo upset at Zeus but I’m not talking about that right now. While I’m actually happy that Zeus apologized for his little power trip moment and stuff, what I’m annoyed at (very petty of me by the way) is the fact that he had to fucking kiss her hands and stuff. Like damn, you couldn’t just allow Zeus to apologize to Persephone like a normal person. No I do not give any fucks if Persephone “defeated” Kronos I’m gonna be real with you, that was not Persephone’s damn win and I’m never giving it to her because her bringing peace to the underworld was done by the pomegranate and Tartarus and those two are the only ones I credit for that. Not Persephone. I’m just so sick of Persephone being treated like she’s just important to everyone’s lives, even people who don’t know anything of her (referring to the court room after Persephone got exiled, like come on let’s be real no one would’ve blinked an eye if this comic made sense) and I think that’s just bullshit. I was so sad when that happened, like damn they done got Zeus too I really thought he would hold out for longer.

Also fuck Persephone again for literally forgetting about her mother for the 124th time in this entire fucking comic. Listen, I understand “wow there was so much stuff that happened before how can she remember her mom” but if she can fucking remember Hades’ immature useless ass while the Underworld is under siege (that kinda rhymed) she can definitely remember her own mother during a time where she’s literally not doing shit but once again being at Hades’ house. I hate that everyone keeps forgetting about Demeter and mistreating her when she literally protected and defended everyone even Hera and Hestia, both of them being apart of the six fucking traitors, forgot about Demeter’s existence and didn’t even try and bring her up. Whoever truly hates Demeter and want bad things happening to her, please never interact with me because you and me will never be fucking cool. As someone with a worser mom than Demeter that has to deal with her on a daily basis I actually wish that I was protected and defended as much as Demeter defends Persephone, not saying that she shouldn’t complain or anything like that but I’m just saying I’m tired of people acting like she’s a fucked up mom. There’s tons of fucked up moms in the world and Demeter is an actual saint compared to them. Also if your fav is Hades, Ares, and Hera and you despise Demeter to the point of wishing death on her please block me or something because not only is that disgusting for you to even do but it’s also hypocritical as fuck because your faves have been worser to Persephone than the person you’re accusing.

Anyways this rant was very very biased, like none of this is fact and this was purely my opinion and my interpretation of it. Also about the last point if you do like those characters I didn’t put that there to shame you or say that I don’t like you or anything like that I was actually speaking to the fans of those characters who really wish violence and death on Demeter to just discontinue with interacting with my page, if you enjoy those characters that’s completely fine and I mean no hate to you at all! But anyways like I always say these rants are really meaningless outlets for me to ramble about my opinions and my emotions and nothing I say should be used as hate fuel or fact because at the end of the day I am only one person and I encourage everyone to find their own opinion. If you enjoyed this rant that’s fine and if you didn’t that’s also fine!

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo

[bronanlynch]

once again here is my weekly roundup post of what I'm watching/reading/etc. once again none of this is necessarily a recommendation, except the bits where I talk about my own fic. obviously everyone should read my fic

listening (podcast): nothing new here. continuing with the Wing episodes of Great Gundam Project, which continue to make me want to watch Gundam at all times. also keeping up with Palisade (Friends at the Table), my beloved, I love it when an actual play podcast episode is an extended discussion on spycraft and the changing political landscape, and also watching someone else flip a coin

also, I've listened to less A More Civilized Age recently because I'm less interested in KOTOR now that they're covering that, but I did listen to their episode on the imminently-closing Disney World Starcruiser attraction which. oof. great podcast episode, unsurprising that the ~experience was uhhhhh not worth how many thousands of dollars it costs

listening (music): changed the CD in my car to One-X by Three Days Grace. sorry for almost exclusively listening to music that was used for AMVs in the 2000s.

however! for once I listened to new music, the new Troye Sivan single, Got Me Started. nothing particularly smart to say here, it's fun and catchy and makes me wish it was 2018 and I was back in grad school having a single overpriced drink in a gay bar and failing to psych myself up enough to flirt with anyone

reading: still working my way through Rule of Wolves (truly would be more interesting if Leigh Bardugo did not always shy away from the political marriages that she teases at, at least then the political intrigue would have to actually happen on the page) and Water Outlaws (shout out to my new favorite side character, the nonbinary strategist who wants to overthrow the government).

also read the newest KJ Charles novel, A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel. I always have a lot of fun with her stuff, she understands that life-threatening stakes and also secrets & betrayal are what I personally want in a romance. this one had some very fun intrigue around inheritance & legal loopholes, and also plot-important discussions of religion in Roman Britain. my main complaint isn't even a critique of the book itself, it's just that I as a person have slightly different priorities and I wish one of the main characters had been allowed to stay angry and maybe be more destructive about it. like I'm glad he's happy now that he's had his character development, and I do think it was well done. however. I would've found it personally cathartic if he got to do a few more crimes first

also also, this incredibly scathing academic book review (Was There an Administrative Revolution?, George Zhijian Qiao). it's a delight. I've seen some harsh rebuttals but nothing nearly as much of a masterpiece as this

watching: continuing to watch Elementary, which has its pros (competently-written mystery stories with fun characters) and its cons (can't tell if the copaganda has gotten more blatant this season or if it's just been building up and I'm getting tired of it)

also continuing my long slow journey of watching Legend of the Galactic Heroes. what a show. love an incredibly homoerotic military sci-fi anime about the narrative construction of history. season 3 has been kind of up and down for me, though, I must say. I love the parts about Reinhard being desperate to die in battle against a "worthy opponent," I love Reuental getting accused of treason presumably to foreshadow him actually doing treason at some point, I love Kircheis haunting the narrative, I love the vastly different tone whenever we see Yang being self-aware about history and his friends getting up to shenanigans. however. whenever the Earth Cult is the central focus I'm reminded how much I don't like that plotline. like. Idk. I'm not an expert but I know more well-informed people than me have talked/written about the prevalence of antisemitic conspiracy theory tropes in anime from this era and uh. that sure is present here and I don't care for it

the other thing I watched this week is 1985 horror film Re-Animator. my first note is "oh he's such a little freak I love him" (about the titular guy who reanimates the dead) and that really sums it up I think. is it a good movie? I mean. probably not. but I could write an entire thesis on the themes of procreation vs necromancy and how that subtextually makes the central conflict of the film a love triangle, and sometimes that's what really matters

playing: ran a session of Blades in the Dark while partially out-of-it from the flu shot/covid booster combo. this was the third session of a single score, and by the end of it everyone only had one (1) remaining stress box but somehow no one trauma-ed out while escaping the ancient winged robot/ghost lady whose gambling hall they were robbing (they stole her reality-bending dice that she made out of her own bones)

I've been enjoying Ace Attorney 5 more this week, the second half of 5-3 and the beginning of 5-4 have been a lot of fun. it really is a shame that Robin's gender is handled Like That because otherwise 5-3 would be such a good case. I'm not far enough into 5-4 to say much about it other than that I like it so far but truly my main observation is, if two astronauts were on the launch pad, and one of them killed the other with a knife, would that be fucked up or what?

making: made butternut squash pasta sauce with the rest of the squash left over from last week's muffins. we used this recipe, largely because it involved roasting the squash in the oven instead of standing over a stove waiting for liquid to reduce (substituted oat milk for the half-and-half, it turned out fine and just didn't needed the added pasta water)

here it's on mushroom ravioli, but we also added it to baked mac & cheese to add some more vegetable to that

drinking: sorry that all of this is so aggressively seasonal, unfortunately I love a lot of ~fall flavors~. anyway. shout out to Citizen Cider's Baker's Dozen (cider donut flavored cider). it's not as sweet as other cider donut ciders I've had, since Citizen's stuff tends to be fairly dry, but it still has the cinnamon flavor and it's very tasty

writing: mostly I've been editing the same t4t yurivain fic I've been working on for months, but I'm running out of shareable snippets of that and really I need to just post the damn thing. and I've also written a little bit more of a self-indulgent vibes- & motif-heavy Great Ace Attorney fic so uh. here's this:

They’d been at sea without stopping for a while now, but land was drawing into view once again, if he looked west where the sky was still dark. Maybe his friends, the friends he must’ve had once, were still out there, beyond the sea. Maybe they were looking for him. Maybe they were waiting for him in London. Maybe that was why he needed to go there so badly. Or maybe they were all gone, and he, left behind alone, had business to finish on their behalf before he could rejoin them. The sea slapped against the hull of the ship, and there was the frayed edge of a memory there too, a familiarity with ships, with the sounds that the sea could make, that went back farther than his few months’ employment as a dock worker and a deckhand.

#'op are you writing Another fic that's mostly people having emotions next to bodies of water' yes. yes i am #write what you know and all that #dreaming.txt #weekly media roundup post

[jesskasb]

EXTREMELY LONG POST AHEAD YOUVE BEEN WARNED. DO YOU LOVE THE COLOR OF MY WORDS?

i've been so scared of posting my opinions about recent media because i want to maintain some kind of unproblematic agreeable image out here. i don't want to say i enjoyed something for fear that enjoying it means i am morally required to reblog or discuss every critique others have to make sure people know i am aware that it is not perfect. i suppose this comes from this increased ideology that people who like things need to do so critically at all times, and they need to demonstrate that or they're a bad person; which is stupid, obviously, but i have somehow internalized that because i wanted to make the small of audience of this blog to know im not stupid or "problematic" or whatever. which is another stupid thing to want because this blog is supposed to be for ME and not other people, and ive always tried to uphold that mentality by posting whatever i wanted and always saying my thoughts in the tags. but obviously, my feelings have had something else to say about it and ive been holding back opinions and expressing my enthusiasm for things because of how that enthusiasm may be perceived and misinterpreted, even though im aware that everything ever will be misinterpreted by somebody eventually and that is out of your control and its ok. this dissonance between what my logic tells me and how i actually feel has been bothering me a lot. even now im like oh i should put this under a read more so it doesnt bother people! while logically i know i want to post this as is because its some meaningful introspection for ME and thats what matters, truly. it's why i have this app in the first place. so i can express myself through text in eays i can't in real life for one reason or another.

either way it seems i've fallen into the social media trap of making everything content and palatable to as many people as possible, making things relatable and clever so others will enjoy it and i will be known as someone to be liked. all for the fleeting dopamine of a like and a reblog or a follow.

and then, because these feelings frustrate me and i have been in denial about them, i have also fallen into the trap of the "let people enjoy things" mentality. that scares me because it just goes to show how easy it is for someone to slowly get on the side of perpetuating a lack of media literacy or even shit like proshipping and stuff, when actually my feelings are not related to that at all but rather a dissonance between wanting to be palatable for everyone and wanting to talk about my interests when the reality is that there is not really anyone stopping me from saying whatever i want except for myself. im the only one who cares about this and the only one that is bothered. i've always looked down on a "what will they say" mentality and i hate that i've become so used to the way ive been thinking that i started ignoring the fact that i shared the mentality.

ok im just repeating myself now. point is. i want to work on getting back the mentality of posting for myself and being honest with my opinions not because i want to start discussions or get clout for being opinionated but rather because i truly enjoy analyzing things and expressing my thoughts. so. in an effort to do just so ive decided to unpack some of the media that have really reinforced the need to conform.

• let's start with the biggest elephant in the room: oppenheimer. i know! i know. no fucking wonder. "but hear me out!!!!" (headass need to justify everything i say and do so i wont be perceived incorrectly). i went to watch it with my stepdad at 11pm after the rest of our family went out to have boba tea without us bc we were resting, even though we LOVE boba and they couldve simply asked if we wanted to go. so the whole outing to the movies was spontaneous revenge and i loved that. it was a great bonding experience. in the parking lot we found two 20 dollar bills on the floor and the way we both dived to pick them up was hilarious. he was faster than me. we got some shitty churros and no popcorn and into the movie we went. now, the movie itself, i honestly did not like it and didnt have a good time, i was trying soo hard not to fall asleep. i was sleep deprived, tired, and honestly science and politics arent my thing at all. and that is obviously beside the fact that the whole plot was hard to follow because they tried so hard to make the audience sympathize with oppenheimer and frame it as if he really knew no better than to participate in the war and making the choice to kill thousands of japanese civilizatians. i was trying not to chew my arm off at the theater. ugh.

i will say i found the use of audiovisual distortion to represent dissociation and high stress brilliant. obviously its not the first media to do this but i think it made amazing use of the audio of a theater and the nature of film. i saw that post about how "if i cant see a movie in the comfort of my house and i have to go see it at the theater to get the full experience then its not very good" and i honestly think thats bogus. in fact im glad and i agree that something that can only be experienced in a theater full of people with good audio and a giant screen has value. chris nolan may be pretentious about it and fuck him but its like. the nature of a thater itself is not stupid and streaming it is different. theaters are about getting together with fellow humans and seeing something live and valuing the fleetingness of not being able to replicate that same exact experience again. whether its a musical or a play or a film youll never see the exact same thing with the exact same audience. and theres beauty in that.

• barbie was fun. it was different and refreshing from the usual stuff in mainstream theaters and i can really respect it for that. i cant believe mattel allowed that depiction of their own company to be in there but yeah theyre winning in the end. really good marketing. when the girl called out barbie for doing irreparable damage to the feminist movement i thought that was very based... im really biased because when i was younger, as a little hispanic poc girl who was chubby and kind of weird, i was just so bitter about everything that barbie was. because she wasnt me. she wasnt like me. she was like everything everyone said was pretty and that idea of pretty wasnt me. and i hated it. i wouldnt play with my blonde white barbies and i was obsessed with the one tan barbie with curly haired i had. she was a ballerina in a blue leotard and a tutu. i took off the tutu because i thought it was too feminine and i wasnt too feminine and i wanted her to be like me. but i still knew i could never be a ballerina because i was chubby and not athletic. it was the closest a barbie doll would ever get to being me though, and i was satisfied. i ended up relating more to my entire collection of g3 ponies than barbies.

going back to the movie; i think the message is important even if it wasnt handled perfectly. its a step in the right direction. we've been talking about this for YEARS and it has finally made its way to be told directly in an extremely mainstream movie. thats good! im glad! and i had fun laughing my ass off at the funny parts with my friends. i was ready to watch it alone after a hangout with my friends but some of them decided to join me and i love it. im very happy ive found people who want to go out with me and include me and like being around me and respect me. its been a while. i coughed a lot during the movie and my friend said "...do you need a cough drop, alex" at the end of the movie and i was so embarrassed and it was funny. my car keys fell in between the seats and it was scary but the employees were really nice about it. when magic ring ken appeared i yelled COCKRING KEN! and it sent my friends and a stranger next to me into hysterics. i had a great time and i wont forget it.

• good omens. neil gaiman has been a figure of great dissonance for me. i genuinely like his books and posts but im also aware that saying you like his work comes with all this other stuff that people assume is true, especially on tumblr, because he can also be really annoying. i dont support EVERYTHING he does of course but i love good omens and at the same time i was scared of what people would assume about me for sharing posts of season 2 and being excited about it. loved the first season of good omens and i was criminally deranged about it back in 2019. i liked the new season a lot! (SPOIILERS AHEAD SKIP TO AFTER THE Picture IF YOU WANT TO AVOID THEM) i missed the characters a lot and michael sheen and david tennant are just such stellar actors and you can really tell how much they like aziraphale and crowley. and gosh i just love when everyone involved in a production is as passionate about it as fans are. i will say michael and beelzebubs thing felt really fanservicey and i wasnt the target audience for their relationship. heres some more thoughts i want to share

besides that i mean fuck i would watch aziraphale and crowley talk about the weather for an hour. their banter is amazing. i also love the final episode drama. i just love mythology and exploring how all the fantastic bullshit fits into the real world. its why i like percy jackson so much, and i think gaiman really succeeds at urban fantasies (or magical realism?? not sure) extremely well. im not familiar with the work of terry pratchett but someone whose opinion i value likes his books so i wanna check em out one day. i had a good time with good omens and im excited for season 3. got a lot of theories but im lucky i have a friend to talk that to about so i wont keep you here much longer.

• the witcher. im SO passionate about the witcher show you guys have no idea i got my entire family to watch it and im able to connect all the dots and shit i love the world building i love the characters i LOVE LOVE JASKIER. but i hate the writing. i hate that i havent read the books and im progressing incredibly slowly through wild hunt so i feel like a poser and not a true fan. i hate that its so mainstream and i hate the way that i hate that. my feelings about this are not as dissonant and strong as the past three media i listed but i feel like it was the first straw. i just have this need to justify liking it and saying oh its not a good show but i like it haha sorry. IM NOT SORRY! I ENJOY IT A LOT, FLAWS AND ALL! AND I THINK ITS GOOD BECAUSE I AM STILL WATCHING! but i will stop watching after this season i refuse . liam hemsworth makes me puke while henry cavill is not only attractive but he genuinely cares about geralt and the witcher series and i dont want to watch something where the lead is just a replacement for someone who wanted better conditions and treatment and didnt receive it. fuck

• young royals. i just shat on it heavily back when it started trending on tumblr bc i thought it was some stupid teen drug show that had some shallow romance but honestly i think it was the internalized homophobia talking idk i gave it a shot and im LIVING for the drama and the cringe that comes with being a teenager and i love the setting and i love that everyone is so flawed and human and real.

• alice oseman's work. i actually dont know much about her as a person and author but i also shat on heartstopper when it became mainstream because the tv show annoyed me. i tried it, but the first episode left me feeling uncomfortable and icked so i quit and have been hating on it since without even giving the graphic novels a glance. i read the synopsis of her novel solitaire and a review compared it to catcher in the rye and i thought that was so fucking stupid. catcher in the rye, really? the creator of HEARTSTOPPER, making something that can even be of the same tone as catcher in the rye? bah, impossible. when i picked up i was born for this, i thought itd be a shitty and fluffy fan/celebrity book but i was just so desperate for trans rep. and then i pulled an all nighter to read it and i realized it was GOOD and had a lot of layers that impressed me. i had underestimated alice oseman's writing skills by SO much and i dont like thar i was so cynical. i started reading solitaire and man. it is dark. and evidently inspired by catcher in the rye. i am not done with it yet but from what i read so far.... holden, you have some competition.

solitaire is told from the pov of the sister of one of the heartstopper voice. through this book i learned that actually the heartstopper boy has a LOT of serious issues. i wonder if the graphic novels handle it better than the tv show. i hope they do! if they dont, then , well, i can say with confidence that i enjoy her books even if heartstopper isnt my thing.

ok i think thats all. if you read all that, post picture of an animal. i dont know. like and subscribe! i am growing as a person and i think thats beautiful. whatever. rolls my eyes and walks away

#i want to have a conversation about this so if anyone has any thoughts or anything about the topic of enjoying things in a modern #social media setting and '“letting people enjoy things'' let me know in a reblog or the notes. cause gosh. i need to get it out i need to #do more thinking it feels like my mind is growing MOLD! im better than this goddamnit #alexchanting #long post #really long post

[ashleyfanfic]

For the fan fiction writer asks! 3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself? 20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? 35. What���s your favorite fic you’ve posted? 68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do? 76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Also I'm sorry you've had only negative asks lately, I hope this cheers you up 💜

First off, you beautiful angle! You put the question in the ask! Second, yeah every now and then you just catch some shit cause people are assholes who feel they can say and do whatever they want behind a screen.

Now onto the questions!

3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself? If they are Jonerys, I share them with my soul mate @justwandering-neverlost cause any opportunity we have to write together I’m gonna take. I know I’ve also shared some Dramione fic ideas with my friend, Kim, who used to write fic but now is a fucking publish author! But usually I tend to keep them to myself cause who the hell knows when inspiration will hit?

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? AUs. Sigh, case and point, just yesterday we got a comment on our Dragon Dark and Deep fic that was complaining that our military strategy wasn’t good. For three paragraphs. Like, come on, my reasoning for writing that fic is NOT to come up with sound strategy. It was to make these two people start banging before they met in season 7 and make them twisted for each other. I couldn’t actually give a fuck about military strat. You wanna read that? Go find a book written by George Patton. Me, I’m here to make two hot people bang a lot.

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted? The first thing that came to mind was Legends of Winter’s Peak. Not only because I got to write it with JW and made the best friend I could ever hope for/have, but because it’s the most complete story in terms of character arcs, relationship arcs, main and side players. The writing process for that story was hands down the most fun I ever had writing. Which isn’t to say I don’t enjoy writing other things or even other fics with JW, but that one owns my whole ass soul.

68. Are there any fics that influence you to write the way you do? I can’t say there are specific fics but specific writers. I’ve been reading fan fic since I was 14 and I started with X-Men’s Rogue/Gambit. But through all the fandoms, I’ve learned more from writers and their process that makes sense. Kim actually had me planning out stories. I was a notorious pantser before and my stories would have more holes in it than Swiss cheese. So when I started LotB (Love on the Brain) I knew that with so many POVs and relationships, I couldn’t do it that way. @frostbitepandaaaaa has made me think harder about motivations for movements and reactions. Also, I respect someone that tears so hard into something I’m writing that it makes me question why I’m doing this. Because good critique can make you question it but their suggestions can also give you new life because she doesn’t see it the same why I do cause I’m too close. JW is so fucking phenomenal about adding in emotion to blocking dialogue. I’m a dialogue whore so I’ve never really cared about the stuff between, but the way she writes it actually makes me take a step back and go “huh, this can be better. What would JW do?” I don’t get close to how good she can make it, but it does make me think.

76. How do you deal with writing pressure externally or internally? I know this might piss someone off, but I don’t care about external pressure. I have a fic I Ah ent updated in 20 years that I was working on the other day. I write what I feel like writing. Internally, I can feel bad about not updating, but I also know I can’t force myself to write anything. That’s just not my way. I can try and get close but if it come down to me crying because I can’t get the words out, let me tell you that I don’t. I move on to something else like drawing, watching things on YouTube, napping. When I get inspiration, I get inspiration. I can’t force it.

Thank you for the asks!!

#fic asks

[gogysvisa]

no I've never sent an anon to blair nor do I plan to all my interactions with her were semi pleasant till they weren't and she went off the deep end

Forget anything else, this has me curious. What unpleasant interactions did you have with Blair?

Uh, lets see

tldr; just said some batshit insane stuff about dream and George which isn't bad because I enjoy that stuff, but it just got weirder and weirder until it got DEEPLY concerning, and it felt like I was looking at a young teenagers mental spiral through dream and George puppets? and it didn't help that the adults around her goaded her and fed into it to degrees that made me personally uncomfortable Ill post most of the stuff under a readmore because I've been sitting on it for a while, this isn't a critique of blair because she's already been critiqued to hell and back but mostly just my POV about how dangerous and batshit internet cults can be

I think I was around since almost the start right after she posted the dream and George chart analysis, I wasn't particularly in her inner group or anything, but like I said I enjoy batshit, she is actually quiet knowledgeable about astrology at such a young age and I was impressed and interested so I kept an eye out astrology wasn't where her interests in esotericism ended she was pretty much a standard internet young esoteric, enjoyed tarot and pendulums and of course if you followed her you'd know all about this mystical "rock" that her friend owned that she got answers from, I am still not certain if it was a pendulum or just a very strong LSD tablet so she'd use all these avenues along with all the other people in her server to divine certain futures for DNF basically, au's that they -me included- treated as reality because why not, its fun exploring stupid scenarios -vis a vis dream gay- but a lot of these scenarios were stupid and not really based on anything in reality or analysis just literally someone draws a card and suddenly everyone is mourning DNF's death or whatever, which, upon asking some of my friends who are into divining and tarot is not how this should be done anyways so I guess they just enjoyed projecting their shitty feelings and having people mourn with them just as a start to this paragraph, she was 16 at this point, with every coincidence she got right people went insane over her, I still vividly remember in 404cord where she put out a couple of dates based on transits that were interesting and she said something will happen in one of this dates, and one of those dates happened to be the Quiz Night and suddenly everyone was holding on to EVERY word she will ever say from that point, a huge sizable chunk of her cult basically came from 404cord. I don't use the word cult lightly btw, seeing how people interacted with her, the only correct word is her word, every other divination that Blair didn't agree with was cast aside even if people were once agreeing with it, the people around her either were mocking her or hooked onto every word hook line and sinker and some of the AU's she explored as if they were reality were very concerning starting with, the suicide fic, which she co wrote with an adult friend of hers, I sadly don't have an archive of it specifically but I do have screenshots of the day she started going insane about it

I am not critiquing the weirdness of this so much so as the ENVIROMENT that birthed the fact that they were talking about dream committing suicide as if it were a reality and blair was encouraged to continue? so much so to fully write it out?

the outline of the fic goes something along the lines of, dream compulsive straight, george is in love with him, they aren't together, dream gets married and has kids, kills himself because of straight pressures and george has to raise the kids which is hilarious out of context but concerning seeing it being treated as a feasible very possible alternate reality. She tends to hide behind "its not real" as a defense, and likes to illustrate they are "just talking as if its real" but that's just a common tactic in communities like these ones to try and appear more normal, trust me I am very sure she along with the people closest to her truly believed, genuinely, that there was an alternate universe where this is possible

they'd say shit like this all the time, and call themselves delusional and crazy, but just like people in this fandom tend to go "haha dnf dating haha im so crazy and delusional" yet still 100% believe it? these guys were the same, its partially why I stopped calling myself delusional, because I was faced with true delusion. they explored multiple scenarios like the suicide fic one but this one was the one that made me go Oh No... next up! all the insane adults around in her inner circle! messiah, van and iceglade come to mind immediately but I remember a couple others including obaba the 40 year old nice lady in the fandom, obaba I think genuinely thought they knew it was all fanfic so I don't think Ill go too hard on her and I have a feeling she felt bad for blair because of all the bullying she got from the fandom but the other adults were as insane as blair or even more blair would explore multiple nsfw scenarios with them and start hinting at them in the server, she would never say any of that stuff in the server because you know...16 year old... talking to 18,23,21 year olds about nsfw scenarios and then coming to this server which is mostly adults to also hint at that crazy shit

nothing was more surreal than seeing all these grown ass people literally believe the words of a 16yr old kid when she tells them that dream and george are into scat the whole adult thing was the biggest ick to me, seeing how she interacted with her inner circle and how they like, took advantage of her popularity to talk insane sexual scenarios about dnf with her was just....ew on so many levels I sadly don't have an archive of this because blair made sure to delete the nsfw stuff she said precisely for this reason, she'd also censor herself and such and I am personally not going to moral panic pander over a 16yr old being horny because who wasn't, at that age, but I am going to harshly judge all the adults around her who take advantage of that this thing is already long by itself, and honestly a lot of this stand alone big picture isn't the worse thing there is out on the internet or in this fandom, I know a lot of these people have moved on from the fandom or such but seeing all that in front of me an experiencing it just made me go "oh god I feel like I'm in a wild zoo documentary" and I wanted to share my POV/documentation of that wild ride because I am also a certain level of mentally ill

edited: removed the screenshots

#ask #god I wrote a lot #anyways dont harass people etc etc #if you want something fun to read enjoy this I guess #I named dropped some people around her because I always see her take the brunt of the heat in mockery #when some of the people around her were equally bad or worse

[twiwwleo]

The Ways In Which We Love Each Other

9/1/22

I have no idea what I’m doing. But I think I can make something of this. It’s been 2 months since grandpa passed. I have a lot of things I’m processing, and it’s all jumbled, but it’s there. I just need to clear away the excess stuff- not less important, just not strongly tied together. I have a lot of writing to do.

9/6/22 Week 0

Lots of jumbled thoughts still. My writing just feels like rambling, but it’s like I know there’s a thread in there that I can pull and it will untangle all of it. I can’t really gauge how my presentation of my project proposal went- Everyone was so quiet. did I make a mistake in picking this? I just kept talking because I didn’t know what else to do. Does everyone think I’m weird for doing (yet another) project on death? I hope I didn’t. I hope this was a good choice.

9/14/22 Week 1

Got my project schedule laid out. Notes and quotes all organized. Blog set up. More nonsense ramblings. Part of this is identity, and how a person’s impressions of someone else’s identity may be just a snapshot of who they are, and how like... that transfers to the info someone may put online, and how that’s a fragment of who they are, and how long will that memory last. idk. That will double as my glass self portrait project too.

9/21/22 Week 2

I remembered the book Ghostland by Colin Dickey, it  talks about hauntings and story and how that connects to the times these stories originated from and how it all connects. I’ll have to dig that out and reread it. Add it to my research materials. 

Writing version 1: done

it sucks and I hate it. That’s all. Onto #2.

9/28/22 Week 3

Definitely behind schedule. V2: Done.

Next week? idk

I’m overwhelmed. Tired. Working through it. Still a bunch of jumbled thoughts. Slowly getting clearer I think.

10/7/22 Week 4

Glass self portrait due in a week. I’m sandblasting sheets of glass with an image of my face layered so it’ll look kind of ghostly? Gonna call it “here then gone again”

A snapshot of what someone else sees in me, and its impermanence or permanence in someone’s mind. I’m a ghost flickering through their lives. 

10/12/22 Week 5

Had no idea what to show for my studio practice midterm presentation yesterday but I definitely almost cried. Glass critique went so well I almost cried in a good way though. I was smiling when I left Sherman. 

I haven’t even started filming yet and I have like... 4 weeks left now? It’s... slowly getting there.

10/19/22 Week 6

Way behind- adjusted schedule to “fly by seat of pants.” Will adjust as necessary. I had this visual out of nowhere of a graveyard full of identical numbered tombstones, but as the camera zooms out it shows each tombstone is actually a USB stick plugged into a hub. Each one is a bit of information a person left on the internet, anonymous, left behind as they move on. 

(Danvers State Hospital info)

Need to model some tombstones.

10/23/22 Week 7

 I think I finished the written portion. Think anyway. I went out and filmed and shot at the Grove City and Greenlawn Cemeteries. It was nice to spend an afternoon with the dead.  Peaceful. I also had to take a moment to consider that their participation in my project, but their lack of consent. These were all people once. Their stories aren’t mine to  use. I don’t want to commodify their deaths, nor their family’s grief. I need to consider how I’ll respect their privacy, and their family’s too without disrespecting them.

10/31/22 Week 8

Happy Halloween + Blessed Samhain!

Final edits being made to the written/spoken portion. Going to record on wednesday and finish editing the video by next Monday. 

Tombstones are finished. They’re cute. I accidentally printed them @ 6.8mm instead of 68mm. I have 49 comically tiny tombstone USBs that I have no clue what to do with. Maybe I can have a little dish of them beside my work and offer them to people as take-aways?

Gonna build the tiny cemetery hub tonight!

11/6/22 Week 9

I’m done. 

And I’m

proud and 

tired.

#journal #documentation

[workofthediesel]

it’s been a week and cam hasn’t even looked at that fic he said he would help me edit so

#life tag #joking (mostly) #i know i'm complaining about this a lot but i'm genuinely kinda hurt about it #i've been playing it off to him like it's not a big deal because for all intents and purposes it isn't #this is for fanfic it's just a hobby #so it's not like my career is on the line or anything #but i was really excited to have him edit it #it was like being back in one of my writing workshops #honestly they were so fun and i was looking forward to getting feedback like that again #from someone else who's been through stuff like that and knows how to actually critique a piece of writing #and he keeps telling me he'll do it on this day or that day and then he never does #and like. i'm going to post the fic anyway once i'm all done with it #but i was really excited to have it edited bc i never edit my fics like that and i thought it'd be cool to have one polished to that level #and i don't know if he doesn't want to do it so he keeps putting it off or if he gets too busy and doesn't have time or if he just forgets #but... :( #i've edited personal projects for him before #and i didn't spring this on him out of nowhere i gave him like a month's warning that i was even thinking about it #and now i just #idk #i don't want to seem pushy or whiny about it but i also want to go to him and be like #hey remember that fic you said you'd help me edit like two weeks ago? why haven't you looked at it yet? #because like. he said he'd help me edit it like two weeks ago and he hasn't looked at it yet #and that doesn't make me feel good