#friends get it if i feel up to it

[sluggishslugcrimes]

Weird crack fics are my drug, I spent two hours looking for one of these fics because it was horrible, honestly therapy is gonna be half regular trauma and half fic related trauma.

And yes majority of them have Shrek to the point if I watch the movies I just stare in horror of all the shit I read about him.

#I'm reading this one about a book series which only has one person writing these fics about fuckin a printer #i just #there's trauma in there #Tumoas Saloranta might've not seen ot coming but also i didn't either #i would love to live post my reactions but idk #friends get it if i feel up to it #crack fics #they're my drug #to the point Nebby wrote me a crack fic and i cherish it every day to her dismay #reading crack fics is like harmful for me but also therapeutic #idk #tho some ain't #some keep me up at night drenched in a cold sweat because i remember #also shrek is just cravk fic god i swear

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them. #hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore. #but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[salamispots]

dream from several days ago

#dream diary #artists on tumblr #flotsam diaries #sequential #...I said I was gonna sleep but that obviously didn't happen HAHA #anyways really happy that I was able to get the colors/vibes I wanted down fjhkgj :'D #a lot of nitpicking and adjusting hahah #also kororon/eve was on blast for the majority of drawing this hghhjf #alright good night/morning/something yall #edit: was thinking more and the feeling I wanted to get across I guess is like when someone voluntarily #reaches out to touch me/casually/platonically and it's like a 'you're touching me of your own free will??? o H' #because when I was growing up had a parent who wasn't physically affectionate/would kinda brush me off #and that uhhhh kinda internalized as I'm gross and therefore shouldn't touch other people #(lmao took covid lockdown and very good friends to basically destroy that feeling yay) #anYWAYS had feelings but didn't quite know how to verbalize it hahah

[bigskyandthecoldgun]

steddie fake dating au that starts because robin’s mom keeps pushing for her and steve to get together and robin gets so fed up that she yells, “it’s not gonna happen because some people are gay, mom!”

and upon seeing the utter horror and fear on her face, steve swoops in and says he’s the one who’s gay. cue mr. and mrs. buckley, local hippies, attempting to show how supportive they are, and all the while steve gets eddie to agree to fake date to get the buckleys to prove they’re safe, so that robin will feel comfortable enough to come out to her parents.

#steve using his puppy dog eyes to get eddie to agree bc “it would mean so much to robin to know that her parents would accept her” #eddie agreeing because. it’s STEVE. #robin not knowing about ANY of this until steve and eddie show up to her house holding hands #mr. and mrs. buckley just want their daughter to see that they’re totally cool with her gay friends #they aspire to be the cool parents #bonus points if steve is aware of his own sexuality the whole time #bonus bonus points if nobody else had been #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #robin buckley #steddie fake dating #prompt ! #feel free to use it tbh i’d love to see it #i might also use it. actually yeah i’ll also use it at some point

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry. #Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong: #“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH. #This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated. #I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them. #Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad. #When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment! #I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug. #Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends) #and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off. #I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi. #obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him. #I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

[chuthulhu-reads]

[ID: A panel from Dungeon Meshi. It shows the corpses of Senshi, Chilchuck, Izutsumi and Laois all propped up against fancy paintings sitting on the ground against the wall. Marcille is alive but has a reddened, tear-streaked face and a dead-eyed expression as she leans her head against Laios' shoulder, reached out a hand, and says, "Did you give even a moment's thought to how I'd feel surrounded by your corpses...?" End ID.]

God this panel took me right the fuck out. On the one hand, what else can they do? Marcille's the only member of the party skilled enough in magic to do resurrection spells. Laois straight up tells her he's giving her the neck armour because she's the healer, the one they can't afford to lose; she can rez the rest but if she dies, they're all doomed. And it's a uniquely cruel position for Marcille to be in because of her deep, aching fear of outliving everyone she loves, a fear that Laios has to be aware of on some level, even if he doesn't clearly remember the nightmare he rescued Marcille from... but even if he was fully aware of it, that doesn't change the fact that she's the only one of them who can rez. It's inescapable that she has to be in this position, just as, in the end, it's inescapable that she will outlive everyone in this panel even if they live to ripe old ages. Marcille being forced to microdose her inevitable looming grief is a great setup for her making the decision she does when they meet the Winged Lion--how can she go through this again, for real?

#Dungeon Meshi #Delicious in Dungeon #Dunmeshi #I kinda love that at the end she still hasn't actually given up on her dream of extending all races' lifespans #she just knows the price of doing it the Winged Lion's way isn't worth it #and she gets time to digest this moment and this feeling #and become less blindly terrified of losing her friends #she still wants them to live. She's still determined to make it happen #she's just also more prepared to accept failure in that quest #I love her #dungeon meshi spoilers

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#selfie bee #hello friends!! how are you doing!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ #I'm very very tired today #I woke up very early today because I took a driving lesson! #I have had my licence for many many years now but I haven't driven in so long #and when I tried I just turned on the windshield wipers again and again #so I'm taking some refreshment lessons! I was really afraid of driving again but my new driving teacher is very nice (❁´‿`❁) #my last one scared me a little because he talked a lot about bathroom renovation #I just drove for an hour or so but I was so concentrated that I'm very tired now #I have another lesson tomorrow because I deleted every information in my brain about how to park a car #all those synapses are currently used to remember Godzilla facts #another big news!! #I saw a PHEASANT last week #we almost hit it with the car but luckly it remembered in time that it was a bird and flew away #I've NEVER seen a pheasant before!! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I knew that pheasants were real because my favourite cartoon as a child was animals of farthing wood #and there's pheasants in it and then they get murdered and all the other animals are like 'oh well' #but I had never seen one! #I feel like a stronger person now #one that can drive a car #maybe even park one ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #have a wonderful evening friends #<3

[shitouttabuck]

something in your magnetism (2x01 / 6x18)

#eddie “let me scooch on over a little closer to my boy best friend for no real reason” diaz #the way he HALF GETS UP to move just a little nearer in top right..... i feel deranged.... HE'D JUST MET THE GUY #buddie #911 #mine #my rewatch is going so well im being sooooo normal

[wyvernity]

been thinking about the sinnohtrio lately......plus misc other stuff

also, casual ko-fi drop!! get something in this sketchy style starting at $10 woop woop

#finally decided to do a commission test run u_u #pokemon #trainer lyra #trainer kris #trainer dawn #trainer lucas #rival barry #rival silver #ayalumi #hisuian zorua #luxio #timeskip tag #rkgk #anyway it's sinnoh time !!! #still figuring out their designs and lore but this works for now #god's specialest little guys & their very normal bestfriend who they would kill/die for. up to interpretation who is killing/dying #dawn is the platinum protag who meets giratina and becomes champion #distortion world affected her way more than compared to cynthia and cyrus since she's still a developing kid. but hey cool ghost hair! #4-5 yrs later lucas gets blasted to hisui..lost his memory for the three years he's there and when arceus sends him back he's just like Man #the entire time barry is CHILLING PLAYING HAVING FUN #and forever worried abt his friends ): dawn & lucas are soo nonchalant about what happened to them it's a bit concerning to everyone else #design comments umm the only thing that matters is that they still have their og scarves 👍 #and i guesss these are spring/summer outfits. winter dawn gets leggings and big coat ok. she already has too much yin energy #btw i use the cleanse tag as the direct opposition to the spell tag even tho that's probably not a real thing LOL) #oh yea barry wears the tower master ribbon 24/7. tower tycoon in training and won't shut up about it (i love him) #character dynamics i will talk abt that in another post if i feel like it... these days i just want to go replay pla aughh

[meidui]

“It kinda feels personal.” | for @catws-anniversary ♡

#happy day 2 of catws anniversary week🤗 catws on 🔝 #catws10 #steve rogers #steverogersedit #brock rumlow #brockrumlowedit #marveledit #marvelgifs #mcuedit #mcuchallenge #capedit #dailymarvelgifs #mcufam #marveladdicts #marvellegends #rumrogers #shieldbones #gif* #edit* #* #for a few seconds when rumlow calls him 'big guy' steve literally isn't even poised like he's about to fight #his hackles are up but his arms are down at his sides like he honestly thinks rumlow is going to say something to him worth hearing #that breaks my heart because he must have thought rumlow was his friend or at least that they were on the same team #come to find out rumlow is the enemy steve already died fighting once and now he tells him to his face it isn't personal #like?? isn't it?? #'it kinda feels personal' is such a badass line especially the way chris delivered it but 💔 #tbh i believe that rumlow believes it isn't personal as in they have to get rid of captain america which is ideological not personal #when rollins asked if steve wore a parachute the way rumlow said 'no he wasn't' makes me think he was actually fond of him #but in a 'if only you were hydra' way

[knifearo]

i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once

#in conclusion. alloromantics stfu up about love challenge #hate using the term platonic so much actually. cause even if it has a definition that is what it Should mean #you know that people don't actually think about it that way. #you say 'platonic' and you might Mean an all-encompassing love. but how it's interpreted is shorthand for 'just friends' #so like. the word platonic isn't Really for me is it :| #platonic gets presented like a consolation prize for aro people no matter where you turn #but fundamentally rn it comes from a concept of platonic and romantic as the two kinds of love #where platonic is for family and friends and nothing More. #and romantic is for the relationships that overhaul all else #so 'aros can still feel platonic love!' ok. what if it's not platonic as you know it though. #'oh then it's romantic!' k but it's not romantic either. will your framework explode if i say that #'aros can still feel platonic love!' why do you say that like it's a second-best option and expect me to identify with it... #again. platonic might Actually mean smth i experience. but it won't be Heard that way. do you get what i'm saying #i don't experience 'platonic blurring into romantic' cause i will never feel romantic love actually. those lines are still blurring though #ummmmm in conclusion. killing and biting #aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #arospec #talking

[stagefoureddiediaz]

This morning I woke up thinking about how Tommy checked in with Buck after he kissed him. The ‘was this ok’ is just so tender and uncertain. The underlying worry that he might’ve gone too far. It’s just so…

#yeah it’s everything #so perfectly placed #because Buck could’ve just been trying to get his attention because he wanted to be his friend and if that had been the case #Tommy would’ve put his friendship with Eddie at risk as well #so I love that little moment of uncertainty- Tommy might be more experienced and confident and settled in who he is #but he also took a risk and he wasn’t 100% confident it would pay off #and that has me up in my feels #911 abc #tommy kinard #evan 'buck' buckley #Kinkley #bucktommy

[bamsara]

being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now

#wish i could tell younger me that i wasnt fucked up i was just autistic #even if youre not nd i still think having things you enjoy around you is important especially for your space #so i make a notable effort to get fandom stuff for my younger siblings now #like my lil sister thinks getting demon slayer stuff is cringe cause anime and what not (havent read it sorry) #but her face still lights up when i get her a pin for her #or a blind bag with a character keychain #and very slowly the self hatred and whatever it feels like that youre not allowed to like anything and that anything you like is bad #starts to diminish #my qpp is obsessed with birds and chickens and has so many trinkets around the house for it #or my friend who loves how pretty stained glass looks that his walls are covered in thrifted stain glass pieces #i know an elderly couple who are obsessed with star trek and they have a room in the house purely for shelves stacked with collectables #my friend's dad is so obsessed with spiderman that he has 3 walls full of figurines and posters and collectables that prob amoutn to tons #like i dont get it but i get it #maybe its because im sick rn but im in my head tonight about human loving things and stories and cocepts to the point of comfort #sara shush #ramble

[homolobotomized]

kabru going thru the labors of hercules (and dying more than any other named character) specifically because he wanted to listen to laios infodump ab his special interest is making me crazy like what do you MEAN..........

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #kabru #laios #labru #shut up homo #dungeon meshi spoilers #i knew before i started the series thayt he wanted to be friends #but i was living under the assumption that it was like. after encountering him in the dungeon #and not that he'd do what he hated most to get to know laios #like im not crazy for feeling crazy right #also also also #laios saying shuros about the only person who'd call him a friend #and shuro in reality 'not being able to stand' laios #vs kabru doing All That just to be friends with laios #i am rattling the bars of my cage #me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic #or whatever

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Let the revenge games begin.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #He's gonna call his 5 horse friends up. They have to go on a 14 year long journey to finish the job but by god they will do it. #The sheer chaos in the Audio Drama is really fantastic. Reminds me of those traincar murder mysteries. #The lights go off and there's a scream and then BOOM dead body. Who did that!!! #Okay it was qi deviation and he did it to stop himself from killing his brother. He did it to himself. #JGY sadly has the worst alibi ever though. Both the strongest motivation and also uhhh presence at the scene. #Not to nitpick but as someone who loves murder mysteries - I do feel like even *one* other suspect would have made it stronger. #I get that he tried to make it look like an inevitable Qi Deviation and that it *is* something within the family legacy. #And a big part of NHS figuring it all out comes down to his own perceptiveness and intelligence. #If you weren't close enough to JGY and NMJ of course it looks like an accident. #Sadly 'guy who plays the 'poor little meow meow card'' is also weak to 'guy who plays the 'poor little meow meow card''. #NHS was the better subtle manipulator at the end. That's probably the strongest mystery part of MDZS. And why he's in my top 5. #My man pulled the 'kill him just as he falls from the top of his game and loses everything' gambit and I love him for it.