#friends can be just as abusive.

[mbat]

do you ever realize youve been part of the cycle of abuse and you need to actively decide to not continue it

because that. that hurt.

#vent #my post #i dont know why its taken me this long to realize that it was abusive. maybe because it wasnt romantic or familial #friends can be just as abusive. #and i guess when i see other people who do their best to end the cycle it looks so effortless #cause you dont see all the effort they put into getting to that point #but. its an active decision to make the right choice. #and i guess. i guess i didnt want to accept that ive been in an abusive relationship. again because it wasnt romantic #and because it wasnt physical or as blatant as it would seem #//abuse talk #but its always at the edge of my mind. the things they did to me. the way i felt so helpless and terrified and just wanted it to end #the way they didnt care how it made me feel. #fuck. #just. fuck. #and i see someone else in that cycle too but they act like they decided to continue it sometimes #and thats so stupid. ugh #i just dont want to be hurt again.

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I notice is the idea with transmasculinity and transmalehood is almost this idea that we had beauty that transition has vanquished, and I honestly never related to this pretransition.

Beauty was never afforded to me as somebody who was obviously neurodivergent and traumatized and weird. I was never seen as beautiful pretransition, and I knew that. Conversations about how desirable we "used to be" never rang true for me personally because I wasn't even given the opportunity to be "beautiful." I was never going to be included in that even if I were not trans, you know? Since transition, I know I'm desirable now, even if it is not in a conventional way. It's interesting how my masculine features are now embraced because people can actually register my maleness, when before, they would never.

Desirability is often used as a tool and a weapon on trans people. The idea of not being "desirable" is a punishment. It's just weird when you're the trans person who was never desired in the first place, and you know it.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #i specify transmasculine and transmaleness because it can be really overt that transphobes often interact with us with the idea that we... #...killed our 'female beauty'. i definitely don't think it's exclusive to us but it's something i take note of because i'm a trans man #it's just funny because i KNOW the transphobes who whinge about my lost beauty would have bullied me for my nose because it's not 'feminine' #or they'd mock my broad shoulers and the fact that i'm asocial and awkward. like it is very transparent #i read a friend who was saying that their beauty was used against them in an abusive way and it's something relatable... #...but it's Complicated at least for me. on one hand - i absolutely get that. on the other - i don't know what it'll be like to be Desirable #or Desirable like that. i find that even though i am desirable after transition people still interact with me in certain ways #part of me appreciates that but part of me is embittered that this is something i just can't ever shake #i think these conversations are interesting and sometimes important which is why i talk about it #i've just been thinking about this since reading what my friend went through (and my heart goes out to them - it was harrowing to read)

[cienie-isengardu]

Zuko and Azula in "The Beach"

Lately I think a lot about "The Beach" episode [x], especially about this small detail of great teamwork Zuko and Azula have during the game.

Zuko is looking ahead, directly facing their rivals (who had the control of the ball at this moment) but his body is clearly lowered to the ground, left hand most likely touching the ground, legs bent and widely spaced - a clear contrast to Mai standing near and how he stood before on two separate occasions

which is why I think Zuko willingly create an opportunity for Azula, so she could jump higher - something she definitely used to their team’s advantage. If Azula simply jumped on her brother’s back when he wasn’t expecting it or wasn’t ready, he would probably just fall face down from the impact but as the scene shows, he had no such problem nor was angry about it in the following scenes.

During the game sequences there was no dialogue shown between our protagonists, so it is hard to determine if Azula in advance called Zuko to give her a “lift” or Zuko offered on his own, or did they were that much in sync they just acted without thinking. Regardless I like this few seconds long interaction, because for me it implies how they trusted each other despite all the rivalry and bitterness from previous episodes. Like Zuko trusted Azula won’t use that moment to hurt/humiliate him by overuse of force, the same as Azula trusted in Zuko’s strength and that he won’t mess up by losing his balance. It is a small thing but no less sweet to see them working well together when fighting for the same goal - what reminds me a bit their teamwork from the previous season finale.

Interestingly, it was also the second time Zuko assisted Azula in scoring against their rivals while not scoring himself any point on screen. The first time happened almost right at the beggining of the game (second from total five sequences)

while each girl have the solo sequence of winning a point:

Azula's first attack,

later Ty Lee landing on the net

and Mai kicking the ball (and presumably scoring)

while Zuko’s two actions are shared only with his younger sister while there is no sense of competition between the siblings, something contrasting a lot with some previous and later episodes.

Azula is bossy and competitive through most of the episode and her brother lets her be that without a complaint. Azula and Zuko get along pretty well and A) do not argue (with the exception of the campfire scene and then they argue not even for the whole scene itself) and B) don't get on each nerves the way they do in the palace, with Ozai's presence looming in the back of their mind. I absolutely adore this episode, as it humanizes all our Fire Nation characters by showing them as teenagers outside the war zone but also giving us a bit of insight into what Azula and Zuko could be if Ozai didn't pit them against each other. And they could be a great team!

#atla #avata #avatar: the last airbender #prince zuko #azula #mai #ty lee #zuko and azula #fire nation #fire nation siblings #avatar: the last airbender - the beach episode is such a great mini story #look i have a lot to say about zuko and azula and their messed up relationship but this episode just make you realize how much azula & zuko #are socially awkward teenagers who have no idea how to interact with their peers #but also the deep of their bond shattered by ozai's abuse and yet somehow still connecting them on emotional level #when they can be just kids not ozai's perfect soldiers and heirs #also zuko just tagging with azula's friends is both funny and sad he has no friends of his in fire nation #while sokka will be the first boy befriended close to his own age (with aang a bit younger and lu ten some years older) #i think a lot about the tragedy of azula and zuko okay? a lot as in too much

[sp0o0kylights]

obsessed with your latest steddie au! steve’s relationship with his parents is so emotionally abusive and manipulative and my heart is breaking that nobody seems to recognise that

Thank you!!

I really wanted to focus on how Steve's parents are abusive in a way that is a lot harder to clock.

They're not out there screaming and kicking him out of the house. These people want you to like them, and they lie like they breath.

These are the adults who downplay serious issues, who make you doubt yourself, who smooth things over or even apologize on your behalf as a way to control and isolate you.

If everyone thinks you're terrible, and your amazing, doting, angelic parents are once again swooping in to save you, then your escape routes close up rapidly--which is of course, the whole point. They want their victims to rely on them and them alone.

For a lot of the Party, that's just not an evil they've encountered yet.

Throw in the fact that Steve does in fact, have a head injury, and things get muddy FAST.

It makes for delicious, angst-ridden scenarios and I am delighted everyone's happy to come along for the ride.

#its not as obvious in part one #but Steves brain injury does come into play a lot more in part two #t I gave Steve my own traumatic brain injury so hes just having a blast on all fronts #and you can see it more when both parts are together but he IS struggling to explain himself. The beauty of his asshole parents though #is that even if he DIDNT HAVE a TBI and six million concussions #hed still struggle to get his friends to fully believe him #because hes rich #hes outwardly “happy” or otherwise not showing signs of being abused in the way people tend to think of abuse #Steves fighting against public perception #his parents very good PR #and his own upbringing and mindset he was trained to have to break out of it #in his head he has no safety net #and his friends are proving that with each argument he has #its also why Tommy tips him off but doesnt “help” him because Tommy is in similar situations--he does what his parents want and doesnt caus #problems or else he too #will face the consequences of no safety net

[daenerys-targaryen]

thinking about how dany had less rights than her husband's horse yet some ppl still act like she had any sort of agency in the relationship

#fandom: dany is a free woman who has just as much power as drogo as Khaleesi and is to blame for all his crimes #dany: I’m glad my husband doesn’t allow his friends to gang rape me #can y’all be so serious 😭 #rape tw #abuse tw #daenerys targaryen #asoiaf #leah rambles #Leah reads asoiaf

[axolotlclown]

I watched Shubble's vod talking about abuse a few days ago and she said something that stuck with me. She told a story where her abuser bit her really hard in front of their friends. She yelped in pain and they laughed.

Men, when we see our friends make jokes about hurting women, don't laugh. Make it uncomfortable. It's not funny. This isn't a joke. You may not think your brothers and friends are abusers, but it doesn't mean that any of this is funny.

I'm certain their friends didn't think there was anything going on behind the scenes, but they should have. I could never even imagine joking about bringing harm to my partner. I'm sure most of them couldn't either. We need to stay vigilant and critical of the ways we carry ourselves around others. What does our laughter signal to the women around us?

My brothers, hurting women is not a joke. Don't laugh.

#i know the majority of the people were men #it takes one to know one #but its important #most of us will say we support women and stand against domestic violence #but none of us have the balls to do anything about it when its right in front of us #its important that men are the ones that stop laughing #i can tell you first hand that social pressure breaks a man #men value their reputations deeply #it hurts when its your brother and close friends that dont laugh #it makes you stop and question what youve done #anyway #it was a very good vod #and i know that it will help a lot of people in dangerous situations #i might make a separate post about it bc i knew a lot of men like her abuser and i know exactly what goes on in their head #to anyone that may need to hear #if they just arent in a position to be in a relationship #dont humor them #thoughts of dante #shubble

[ramayantika]

So Barbie was man hating but Animal should be taken as a movie

#samridhi speaks #the amount of abusive words and reviews that were hurled towards barbie and now some guy friends and other male reviewers make reels about #how animal should be seen as a movie #you know i was rooting for him because he was standing up for his sister yeah the method was violent but movies are exaggerating anyway #but then the affair with zoya him telling his brothers whatever that shaadi mein darr hona zaruri hai #nobody gives a fuck about how women got triggered about the cheating and the way he talks to his wife after screwing up his marriage #yeah a movie just a movie #barbie was terrifying for men right but for what making them realize that men aren't the centre attraction of a girl/woman's world and they #can just exist for themselves and celebrate their existence as women doing their own things behing happy #the director himself talks about that if you can't touch kiss slap your wife anywhere anytime i don't think there is any love emotion #existing #the fuck

[rizaposting]

been thinking a lot about my royai kid ideas lately but i don't think a lot of people will like them because i don't name the kid after maes lol

#and also I focus more on riza's traumatic upbringing rather than only addressing roy being sad about maes #also it's 03royai usually #crystal convos #i have my own personal bias against the idea of their baby being named after maes #in part because i dont think the wound will ever be healed enough for roy to be able to not associate it w the pain of losing his friend #i also cannot explain just how much the idea of naming my own child directly after my dead sister makes me want to die so. pure projection #i think my problem with a lot of royai kid stuff is that riza has an explicitly traumatic childhood in her background and no one explores i #because they're so focused on roy struggling with feeling like he can never measure up to hughes--which is fine but WHAT ABOUT RIZA #One aspect abt Riza's trauma that I explore with my royai kid stuff is the theme of alchemist fathers and their children they abuse/neglect #Riza herself; Nina Tucker; the Elrics... And now she is having an alchemist's child

[lesbianfakir]

To elaborate on my ruekirtho throuple thoughts, sometimes I think about a world where their shared love for mytho brought rue and fakir together instead of driving them apart. They’re both incredibly lonely kids who have lost too much and, as much as they care for mytho, a heartless doll isn’t replacement for real human companionship. So they find each other.

Rue knows it will never last. No one beyond her Prince will ever love her. She sees the way Fakir throws rocks at the flock of crows that gathers around her. When he discovers her identity—and she knows he will discover her identity one day—they’ll go back to being enemies. He is the Knight and she is the daughter of the Raven, his killer. Still, it’s nice to have a friend even for a little while. So she lets herself forget. She forgets who, what, she is. She forgets that there was ever a before. She forgets that they won’t last.

Fakir knows there is something very, very wrong in Rue’s life. He sees the deep scratches that stand out against her almost unnaturally pale skin. She speaks in a hushed tone with a haunted look in her eyes when it’s time to go home. She won’t tell him anything, though. He doesn’t even know where she lives; it’s as if she disappears at the end of the day. He just hopes that one day, when it comes down to it, he’ll be able to protect her from whatever haunts her.

By the time the story goes into motion, the two, along with Mytho, are near inseparable. When Mytho begins regaining his heart, Rue and Fakir work together to put a stop to it. When Rue begins losing track of the days, feeling as if someone else is trying to claw their way out of her chest, she almost goes to Fakir for help. Almost.

It is, of course, Fakir who shatters the illusion that is Rue. Her one and only friend calls her an ugly crow, and in that moment she remembers what she is. What she’s always been. They’ve been enemies from birth. This “friendship” was nothing more than the a sad illusion created by a lonely girl—a girl who no longer exists. And she knows now, in her father’s absence, her “friend” will die at her hand. This is their fate and fate cannot be changed. Still, it was nice while it lasted.

#implied child abuse #I WILL be shipping fakir and rue idc about canon #can you imagine #CAN! YOU! IMAGINE!!! #I made another post on more concrete details of this au I believe #but yeah it plays out kinda like canon #where in the first half of season 1 rue and fakir park together to stop tutu #but after the Kraehe reveal #well #let’s just say fakir’s trust is broken #which makes it harder for him to bond with Duck #and when they DO become friends rue feels like she was replaced #and so rue and fakir are still trying to kill each other here they’re just. much much more angry about it #I think it would be fun if they had a pretty central relationship in tutu #princess tutu #lea talks #also part of rue’s arc is realizing she can be loved and fakir DID love her but now it feels too late for that :( #he feels like their relationship was just a lie from the start so she could get close to him and mytho and then hurt them #soooooo he’s not changing his mind about rue anytime soon #Ehehe I love drama I love suffering

[s0fter-sin]

reverse verse where soap takes on the mask instead of ghost. he wears his red skull mask so you can see the lower half of his face and his chin scar extends along his whole jaw to look like exposed teeth

#his chin scar is so gnarly and i think we gloss over it just a little too much #i like reverse verses but i think they can change just a little too much #like i wouldnt have soap act like ghost #if anything id have him act the same just more unhinged #hes still extroverted and will talk to people but people find him very unnerving #theres just this edge to everything he says and does that lets you know just bc hes being civil doesnt mean he wont rip your throat out #with his teeth #and hes just brutal in the field #preferring hand to hand wanting to get up close and bloody #very berkeresque where other soldiers learn not to go near him or interrupt him bc he cant always differentiate friend from foe #except for one deadpan brit who had a soldier’s eyes long before he ever joined the military #dour and depressing until he cracks a messed up joke and everyones shovked when they hear a scottish voice laugh #just soap who goes through roba and simon whos still ghost after living through his fathers abuse #just slightly less self isolating since he still has his family #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #we’re a team. ghost team

[sdwolfpup]

Really not sure I've ever loved a character more than Ray Vecchio in "The Deal."

He goes in gunless, badgeless, alone, and -- by his own admission -- scared to death, and he takes Zuko down completely. Absolutely guts the man's bravado and leaves him exposed for the weak, petty dictator he is.

And then after making a deal to protect Paducci, when Zuko threatens Ray's own safety, Ray says "I didn't ask for that." He didn't come there for himself! He came to protect Paducci and because he couldn't protect Fraser or Marco and he's trying to make up for it.

The most character of all time.

#due south #he's just so good #fraser does this kind of thing bc at this point in the show he's still basically infallible #honestly it's what's so shocking about him getting beat up by Zuko's goons #he really could have died there #which makes vecchio then taking Zuko on after that #after his indestructible friend has been left bleeding on the floor #LITERALLY #with no gun or protection anything #just his courage and his rage #whew #it's A Lot y'all #(don't get me started on how his thing about being hit with the belt he probably learned from his abusive father) #(my heart can only take so many Vecchio feelings at once) #ray vecchio

[daylighteclipsed]

I think if you convinced Astarion not to ascend, he’s there for the Haarlep encounter, and you fail the CON check (push Haarlep away), he should lose his cool and fire an arrow at Haarlep or something and interrupt Haarlep’s magic, giving you another chance to fight instead. I do think the sex abuse survivor witnessing his friend or lover being coerced into sex would notice when they want to escape and would have something to say about it.

#it’s wild how all of your party members stand there and watch this unfold in silence #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #it’s so uncomfortable and humiliating #i couldn’t handle it i had to reload my save and go the fighting route instead #i had lae’zel and shadowheart with me. and i get how they could ig bear this in stoney-faced silence #but i had astarion with me too. and i just do Not believe he’d watch this in silence #not after you’ve helped free him from a life of abuse slavery and noncon #he should protest more than ‘are you sure we can trust [haarlep]’ #or maybe even offer to take your/tav’s place #it wouldn’t work of course. haarlep would insist on tav #but it would further show his char development since act 1 and how much he’s grown to care about you/tav #that he’s willing to put himself through that again so you don’t have to #i mean #I’m not the only one who sees parallels between cazador and haarlep #AND astarion and haarlep #right #I’m not the only one who thinks haarlep would Really Bother astarion. right #I’ve heard astarion is sympathetic (the only companion who is) if you lose/surrender your body #but i just think he should also be the one who’s like hey let’s Not let our friend be taken advantage of like this

[sunderberry]

i like drawing these two. their designs are fun. i think it's the fluff, the heart motifs, and the stupid hats. and also their size difference

the bottom two are sort of like "what if valentino owned husk" ideas

#hazbin hotel #hazbin husk #hazbin valentino #valentino #husk #obligatory “i don't condone val's actions i just like his design and antagonistic role in the story” tag #idk if i should tag this as ship amd tbh i don't think they even have a ship tag #i just like the size difference. husk holding val's arm like a child #i have a lot of thoughts about the “val owns husk's soul” au actually #it isn't a swap au. val still owns angel #yes val is his canon levels of abusive self and husk has a terrible time #angel and husk are acquaintances. they are friendly with each other but val keeps angel on too tight a leash #husk isn't very important to val. he brings in enough clients that he's allowed to just exist in the background #maybe one day husk stumbles across a broken angel and can't help but clean him up and tend to his wounds #they could become proper friends #though neither would be in the right place to even consider a relationship #i just really like it when husk's heart is too big for his own good #i imagine valentino would start being worse with husk once he finds out he and angel are friendly #there's only so much i can go into the au on tumblr unfortunately #sun art #oh yeah in the second pic yes his wings are clipped :)

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Tbh a huge amount of the issues MHA has could have been fixed had Bakugo just been expelled from UA in the first season or not gotten in at all

#izuku's other friends like ochako tenya etc could have gotten more screentime and development #the todoroki arc wouldve had more space to flesh out all the siblings and give shouto a more obvious personality #the precedent of excusing abuse wouldnt be there so i think ppl would be less sympathetic to endeavour which is GROSS #aizawa and the rest of the ua staff look better as teachers as theyre not just letting a pr nightmare and bully run around unchecked #the 'bakusquad' can be given more space to be their own characters and bond wo being rotted by their attachment to bakugo #shinsou could have actual development instead of being one dimensional and annoying and grow into his potential as izuku's rival/foil #less bakugo screentime also means more time for the plot to develop #and im hoping the characters could develop their abilitie sin unique and more consistent ways wo the constant need to make bakugo the best- #screwing everything up #including izuku keeping his analysis abilities etc #thats just off the top of my head #izuku midoriya #bakugo katsuki #anti bakugo katsuki #anti bakugo #mha #my hero academia #mha critical #my hero academia critical

[craycraybluejay]

yes i am an adult male who loves high school dramas this is because i literally never experienced normal coming of age drama like ever and am disconnected from the collective experience of having a relatable peer group forever hope that helps

#i JUST want to experience high school #without like. my whole shitty life thing having gone on #i want to go to high school and have stupid drama and sexuality crises and worries about grades #not... That #i never had that im never going to have that #can i get (one) permission to go a little crazy if i survive into a university #fuck everyone befriend and be-enemy everyone get all up in peoples stupid mind numbingly low stakes drama #i want that sweet golden experience where the worst thing ill ever fear is annoying my classmates #or accidentally spilling something on someone at a dance #i deserve it i deserve to have had a childhood and a young adulthood and a life #i deserve to have dealt with unserious issues to prepare me for bigger ones #rather than serious danger that leaves me permanently severed from normal people and life #and makes me incapable of reacting proportionally or finding it in me to care about less serious problems #like yes it sucks your mom is going to miss college graduation #but i thank my lucky stars that you are not dying or being abused or starved or beaten or exploited #i literally dont know how to take things seriously a lot of the time like im not able to even if i try #because to me the mildest real problem is someone purposefully isolating you and ruining your health #the MILDEST #i try to care ab simple stuff i really do i just CANT #and it sucks so much trying to be a good friend and kind feeling like i cant do enough #the loud thought 'i wish that hapoened to me/i wish i worried about that/i wish the people i love only had that as a problem' #i get so envious. like thank fucking god your parents divorced like normal adults when it should be over #thank fucking god that 'friend' cut you off when they were actively insulting you and betraying your trust #thank the fucking universe that shitty partner dumped you before you fkn hurt yourself over them #yk? #and its a 'mean/cold' way to think about it but i just dont have the capacity to think or feel the little picture #i can imagine my friends subjected to such horror even tho i dont want to