#for some reason the audio is fucked in the cast album. what if i wanted to listen to it

[visenyaism]

also district 12 being actual appalachia was great. folk music canon where somehow the only part of pentecostalism people remember is the fucking with snakes part but not the jesus part

#for some reason the audio is fucked in the cast album. what if i wanted to listen to it #tbosas

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 14 June ‘21

Louis Tomlinson Cooks is here!! Yeah it’s 100% for sure as delightful to watch Louis make himself a sandwich as you might have hoped, but how was his cooking? Well I’ll let Louis rate himself-- “I’m not gonna lie not that appetizing is it, I mean look at it,” he says when it comes time to taste his creation, plus, “chopping peeling slicing not great to be fair- everything else I’m all right” (he’s… not wrong, even aside from the peeler issues has this man ever held a knife??) but- “it probably tastes nice though as I said it’s not about presentation for me… [munches cutely]... it’s actually pretty banging, that’s actually quite nice!” Success! Maybe it’s cause he knows the secret to faking good cooking- “as you can see I don’t have a lot of cooking ability so the more butter the better,” I mean the experts can tell you, that’s advanced stuff right there! #Louis-aChild! Substituting mustard and ketchup for coleslaw is a bit of a bold move, but in a belated attempt to convince the kiddos to eat some healthy veg even though he won’t he does bravely try the cucumber strips despite being “not really a man for cucumber” and makes a pained attempt to be positive- “bit of crunch.” Oh and speaking of crunch I’m relieved to have learned that the waffle is NOT a waffle, it’s a crispy waffle shaped bit of potato; a much more reasonable fish sandwich addition than the American version of a potato waffle! Full Time Meals polled to see what people think of Louis cooking; the two choices are “it was amazing” and “the best,” THEY GET IT. My kind of Louis poll! Helen Seamons rated him a “10/10 for effort and entertainment”, Masterchef acknowledged Louis as one of their own, and Marcus Rashford keeps it simple- “my guy” with a lil heart. YEAH, SAME.

Harry showed up in Italy, where he was papped in Venice being driven around (with PA Luis) on a boat (as you do, in Venice). He’s in a cool embroidered Bode shirt and shades and fancy hair, looking good. He’s seen carrying his suitcase, taking photos, and resting his head on his arms looking like a model. One might think, since we just saw the My Policeman cast and crew on set celebrating the wrap of the shoot, that they were done filming and Harry was off to do something different, but nope, he’s there to film! The book has key scenes in Venice that folks had been wondering about the filming of, and David Dawson is also being boated around Venice for the paps, so, it seems that was just for the wrap of the *UK* filming, which makes sense I guess since it would mostly be different crew I imagine, and perhaps some of the main cast are done as well.

Liam’s NFT sale is happening tomorrow! If you’re confused and want more info, I’M NOT GONNA HELP THAT MUCH… uh but I mean you can check out Liam’s youtube video explaining though I would guess that won’t help much (even Liam thinks so; “there’s probably websites that explain a lot better than me” he admits). There is a roundup now posted of what’s on offer for the buyers of the NFTs but I’m gonna be really honest with you, I’m more confused now than I was before. It’s clear that there are only SIX LONELY BUG NFTs right? They for sure said that I believe. But the packages for each different piece (token bundles) seem to me like they’re available to multiple buyers? Like maybe you don’t get the NFT but multiple top bidders on each get the extras? Like they can’t be selling multiple copies of the NFT... can they?! Isn’t the WHOLE POINT that only one person gets to own it? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW I AM SORRY. What I think I understand to be true: the six NFT buyers get to go to “a once-in-a-lifetime immersive dining experience at Resorts World Las Vegas” (this is the dinner with Liam and “a selection of crypto leaders from around the world” which takes place on display inside a giant glass box) and also “a bespoke commemorative presentation box containing the world’s leading holographic display... with audio... and a custom made Lonely Bug commemorative coin,” and “a unique QR code directing the owner to a special ‘Director’s Cut’ edit of the short digital film ‘Making Of Lonely Bug Collection’ which features unreleased footage from the day of the drop showing the creators' reactions when the winning bids came in” (I mean YEAH I would think it’s unreleased it literally hasn’t happened?) But then there are really a lot of other extras including tickets with Meet & Greet access to any Liam Payne headline show around the world, admission to pool and cinema parties in Vegas with Liam, signed art, non-Liam extras (I will literally bid to NOT have 20 minute phone calls with those crypto entrepreneurs PLEASE… but that’s just me), and access to an online party hosted by Liam; I really get the impression many of these, especially the last one, are just crypto tokens that are for sale that aren’t linked to the main Lonely Bug NFTs and many more than 6 people can buy them but a lot of the extras I’m not clear on which it is. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll understand better WE WILL SEE.

Liam also dropped by the discord last night to say some hellos (after a “long long day”) and that he “bought a piece of NFT art of myself tonight I’m going to give it as a prize Monday night so someone can own a piece of art that was owned by me” (an even less tangible bragging point than simply owning an NFT wow that’s an achievement) and the most important update- “I want a French Bulldog”! Oh and he said “that’s like one I did myself” in his fanart channel to a pic of a tiny crocheted illustration of Louis and Harry holding up a rainbow flag. Didya Liam?? (...Liam is crocheting??) Anyway I recognize who it’s supposed to be because it’s based on a familiar piece of fanart, but Liam definitely might NOT realize it’s meant to be someone specific, and tbh I’m more <eyeballs> at him saying that at the rainbow flag crocheted thing than at it being shippy.

Our Song acoustic version is out this Friday!! And Niall talked about NH3 some in an interview today; “I’m in the studio most days, it feels really good. I’m kinda in the latter stages of it and then I’ll go get a band together and go in and record the whole thing. I’ve just kind of been writing for the past 9 or 10 months and really enjoying it” and “It sounds like a complete album. God knows when it’s coming out because I’d like to be able to get around the world to see all the fans as well” and “It’s different. It sounds a lot more grown up. I’m 27 so it’s about time. I really wanted to kinda cement a sound. The singles I’ve released previously have all been kinda different sounds. I would like to have my ballad sound & like a cemented uptempo sound.” He and Anne Marie also talked about one of the other songs they wrote together saying, “It’s kind of like a, how do you describe it- guitar driven meets Tom Petty meets Katy Perry meets…” but say “We haven’t really decided if we are putting it out yet, the conversations are kinda happening... but it’s completely different (from Our Song).”

#liam payne #whyyyy so confusing #niall horan #louis tomlinson #YES BABE please do bake off now PLEASE #Harry styles #looking so good even though those shorts are AWFUL IMO hilariously frumpy #love that #14 jun 21 #overall I do not think liam should get any more dogs #but a small dog he took everywhere with him would be ADORABLE #(more dogs than he has previously owned I mean he currently has no dogs)

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Five Times Colson Baker Almost Kissed You and the One Time He Did

Requested? For someone else maybe (i’m sorry LMAO)

Warnings? None? 

Summary: You and Colson have been best friends for years now and had feelings for each other for what seems like the same amount of time. However, you always seem to be missing out on one another. 

Word Count: 2,902 (it’s so long but I promise it’s worth it)

One

“One hour,” Colson says, trying to convince you. 

“No.” 

“Please? We can get food after,” he begs and you consider it for a moment. 

“Alright.” 

Colson cheers loudly at this, picking you up and spinning you around before throwing you back onto his king-sized bed. He heads to his closet, sorting through his clothes to find something to wear and you roll your eyes at your best friend. 

Colson had been begging you practically all week to go to a party that Pete Davidson was surprisingly throwing. You had always wanted to meet his best friend but had never gotten the time to do so. That was the main reason you said yes to going to the party and the other was Colson was Colson and you couldn’t say no to those big blue eyes.

“One hour,” you tell him when you arrive at the house. 

“One hour,” he repeats pressing a kiss to your cheek before heading into the party. 

You head in slowly, making your way to the drink table first and pouring yourself something before figuring out what to do next. Just as you’re about to walk around in hopes of finding someone you know, you hear someone call your name. 

“(y/n)?” you turn to see Pete standing a few feet away with a smile plastered on his face. 

“Hey! I’m Pete,” he says offering his hand to shake. “I didn’t mean to sound weird knowing who you are, Colson talks about you a lot.” 

“Good to know,” you joke, and Pete smiles. 

The two of you end up talking for a while, getting to know each other, and trading secrets about Colson. You don’t realize how fast time is going until a drunk Colson finds you. 

“Darling!” he calls, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and leaning his head against yours. “You met Pete?” 

“Yes, love. And you’re wasted?” you ask. 

You turn your head to the side to look at your best friend when it occurs to you how close Colson is. An inch rests between two of you, and your eyes flicker between his and his lips. Your eyes land on each other and for a moment something passes between the two of you. 

"Y'all gonna kiss or what?" Pete says from in front of the two of you. 

You and Col both laugh, and your head rests on his chest. The two of you cast another glance at each other before you maneuver so your arm is around Colson's waist and his slips around your shoulders. 

"Let's go, big guy." 

Two

"Fuck!" Colson curses loudly while messing with the pearl-like necklace. 

You stand from your spot on the couch and head over to your frustrated best friend. As you walk up to him, his hands drop and you stand in front of him. You offer a small smile and reach up to click together the confusing necklace. 

“I’m nervous,” he admits as you work on the jewelry. “Why the fuck am I nervous?” 

“Because it’s a VMA and you’ve been working your ass off and you deserve one.” 

“But I don’t care if we win or lose,” he insists and you nod. 

“I know. But you still care a little bit.” 

After fastening the necklace, you fix it so the bullhorn is at the center of his neck. Once finished, your hands fall to his chest and you look up at him. 

“You’re gonna win.” 

Because of restrictions, you sit to the side of the room as Colson heads in front of the cameras to talk to the interviewer. You sit back and admire your best friend’s success, proud to have been able to watch how far he’s come and how amazing he’s done in his career, vma or not. 

“What I wanna let you know, you won the vma. I have somebody bringing it in for you right now.”  

Just as Colson begins to freak out on camera, you immediately start to jump up and down for your best friend. You want to run up and hug him and tell him you knew it but you refrain wanting to hear what he says in his acceptance speech. 

He runs through the og’s, Casie, his family, Travis, and Mod, and just as he’s about to stop, his eyes land on you. 

“My beautiful best friend. Just before this, she was reassuring me that I was gonna win and I trust her with everything. Thank you for always believing in me.” 

A happy tear falls as Colson continues to cheer and you watch until the interview is over and the crew cuts the camera. As soon as they’re finished, Colson beelines straight for you. 

His arms wrap around your waist and yours slip around his shoulders and you can feel the excitement and love radiate between the two of you. He picks you up and spins you around unable to contain the happiness and you’re both practically screaming in the tiny backstage area. 

“I won!!” he yells. 

“You won!!” you echo and you’re both laughing out of pure bliss. 

He sets you down and you take a step back, your hands moving from his shoulders to his face and you cup his cheeks and see a beaming smile greet you. 

“I’m so proud of you Col,” you say and he laughs lightly still not believing this all. 

You stay there like that for a moment, gazing into each other eyes and your heart beats fast as his striking blue eyes study yours. Your thumb absentmindedly strokes the side of his cheek and he leans into your touch. You’re certain he’s leaning in and you’re getting closer when someone interrupts you. 

“Colson? Is it okay if we get some pictures?” 

Three

“Okay, we’re gonna sit here and get all of our work done even if it kills us,” you say turning to your best friend and laughing. 

“Or, we could go to this party in the hills?” Kells asks, offering you puppy dog eyes. 

“Absolutely not. You have to finish that song and I need to write this paper. We can get it done together.” 

The older boy gazes at you from across the room and you meet it with ease. After a moment or so, he breaks and you giggle lightly knowing you won. 

You and Colson both had been putting off your respective work for days now. You were both born procrastinators, having bad habits for waiting till the last minute to get things done. When you met each other, it got a little bit easier to finish things though when you had to do it together. 

However, sometimes you got things done much later in the night than the two of you would have liked. Currently, it was almost 2:30 and neither one of you had made much progress. 

“Okay, I’m done,” Kells says coming over to your spot on the couch and laying down. 

His head falls into your lap and you instinctively let your hands fall to his hair. Your hands card through the soft blonde locks that fall into a messy mohawk formation on his head. You watch as Kells eyes fall shut as your nails scratch the sides of his buzzed hair before running through the locks once more, 

“Hey,” Colson says and you look down at him. You smile lightly at the older boy and he sits up at the action. He props up on his elbow, one hand reaching up to twirl his fingers through your hair and you hum at the action. Your eyes trace over his features, committing each perfect detail to memory. 

You suddenly realize you’re both moving closer and closer to each other until you’re centimeters away from each other. Your heart is nonexistent and your eyes shut in anticipation at the closeness. 

Suddenly the loud sound of your alarm goes off and the two of you split. Colson falls back into your lap, his head hanging lowly and sighing quietly. You scramble to turn the alarm off, completely forgetting that you turned it on in case you took a nap during your work. 

“So close,” you hear Colson whisper before he stands and goes back to his work and you find yourself smiling. 

Four

“I suck,” you tell him. 

“You don’t suck,” Colson reassures you. 

“Please? It’s one song, the last song! Please?” he begs taking your hands in his and tugging at them lightly. 

“Fine.” 

“Let’s go!” Col cheers letting go of your hands to pump his fists together. 

Colson had come to you when he was almost finished with the album and had only a few songs left to mix and go over to make sure they were perfect. After going over the album and the deluxe over and over, Colson finally realized what he was missing. 

“It’s just this part at the end, me and Dom already did it but I think adding a high harmony will be perfect,” Colson explains, leading you into the small recording booth. 

He wanted to add you onto body bag, one of your favorite tracks off of Col’s new album that he recorded with none other than YungBlud. The two finished the song, but Colson insists the ending woahs need a harmony. So, he came to you which you still didn’t understand in the slightest. 

“Are you sure you want me to sing? I’m gonna ruin the whole song.” 

“Definite. I’ll sing with you if that makes you feel better,” he reassures and you nod. 

The two of you get set up, Col explaining the process along the way and you try to follow along to the best of your abilities. After putting on your headphones and you both step up to the mic, your nerves start to kick in. 

“I promise it’s not bad. And we can always redo it.” 

You nod at your best friend and he smiles before giving Travis the thumbs up to start the audio. The backing of the song begins and out of habit, you begin to dance to the song. 

Just before the part you’re supposed to sing hits, Colson taps you and you look over at him and he nods as you’re supposed to come in. The two of you sing together, you hitting a higher harmony and Colson smiles wide at you the entire time. 

“It’s perfect guys,” Travis says when you’re finished. 

“We finished!” Colson yells. 

“You did it!” You yell back. 

It hits you both at the same time, the fact that Colson had finished something so close to him and your best friend had achieved something so great. 

You jump into Colson’s arms, your legs wrapping around his waist and your arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders. He catches you as if he’s done this a million times, his arm circling your waist and he pushes his face into your neck. 

You pull away, about to tell Col how proud you are of him when you’re struck by the proximity of the two of you. You both smile widely at each other, radiating complete and utter joy. You move closer, wanting to finally close the gap, wanting to enhance this moment when you’re interrupted. 

“Uh, guys?” 

Five

“Colson,” you whine from across the room. 

“Yes?” he asks looking up at you. 

You give him a look, the look you’ve perfected between the two of you that is always understood whether you say something before, after, or nothing at all. It always means I want food. 

“We just ate!” he exclaims and you burst out laughing. 

“We ate preppy award show food! I want Mcdonald’s,” you say in between laughter. 

“I mean,” he says, shooting you the same look and now you’re both cackling together. 

You grab your phone and Col grabs his keys and the two of you head out together. Some days, going to McDonald’s and just hanging out was the best for you and Colson. You got to relax, spend some genuine time with each other and do whatever you wanted. 

As you drive, you and Colson sing along to your throwback playlist and talk about the award show you just attended together. You two were getting tired of award season, and the speeches and the tiny food. However, you always promised that if you had each other you’d bear every award show. 

“Usual?” Col asks when you pull up the speaker. 

“Yes please,” you answer. 

Colson orders your food and as you pull up to the first window you try to hand him your credit card. 

“Venmo me,” he says. 

“I..” you begin and he tilts his head to the side in confusion. 

“Have no money in my bank account currently.” 

The two of you burst out laughing, the worker giving you confused looks as Colson hands him his card anyway and you try to protest but nothing comes out between the giggles. 

After Colson pays and you pick up the food, you tell him to pull over somewhere so you can eat. He ends up finding a secluded parking lot for the two of you to chill. 

As you eat, you two talk about random things, from stories from the week to past dumb things you two have done. You end up laughing and enjoying your time well past when you finish your food. 

“Remember when you fell at that award show?” kells asks and you begin to laugh.

“It was one time!” 

“You face planted!” he reminds you and you’re both laughing all over again. 

“You didn’t even try and catch me,” you whine. 

“I’ll always catch you I promise,” he says and you look over at your best friend. 

Kells wears a serious expression replacing the bright but rare smile on his lips just seconds previous. Your eyes search his, uncertain of the meaning behind the words. His hand takes yours, his thumb rubbing over the soft skin and his eyes stare into the distance as he does the action. 

“Col,” you whisper, trying to get the older boys attention. 

His eyes snap to yours and his hand moves from yours to your cheek. His thumb traces your features, trailing from your jaw to your lips and you’re breathless at his touch. Just as you inch closer and closer, your lips ghost over each other’s, and your breath hitches. 

You think you’re about to meet, a long-awaited connection when a horn blares out of nowhere, scaring the two of you apart. You both settle back into your seats, a soft chuckle emitting from your best friend as he shakes his head. You bite your lip, a hand coming up to feel the skin where his fingers gracefully touched and you can’t believe your moment was ruined once more. 

And One 

“Hey I’m coming over in 5,” you say greeting Colson from the view of your car. 

“Uh why?” he asks peering into the phone to figure out why you’re headed over to his place so late at night. 

“Cause there’s a meteor shower and I wanna watch it from a good view,” you explain and Colson laughs at you. 

After a quick drive, you’re walking inside of Colson’s house with blankets, pillows, and tons of snacks. When Col sees you, he hops up from the couch and helps you with the stuff. 

“You seriously drove all the way over here for a meteor shower?” 

“It’s a better view over here!” you defend and Colson laughs. 

Together you bring the stuff upstairs and manage to bring it out onto the rooftop. You set up, laying blankets over the rooftop, setting up pillows, and laying out snacks. 

“When is the shower supposed to start?” Col asks as he climbs back onto the roof next to you. 

“I think like 10 minutes?” 

Colson nods in response, settling in next to you. He lays down, his hand slipping underneath his head to prop himself up slightly. You lay down next to him, relaxed in each other’s presence as you wait for the meteor shower to begin. 

As you sit and stare at the stars, your mind wanders to the boy next to you. As cheesy as it was, you’d always be grateful to have Colson Baker in your life. No matter what happened, knowing him and gaining life experience together will be something you always cherished. 

You feel Colson moving next to you, and his hand slowly trails down until it meets yours, interlocking your fingers with ease. Your heart pounds slowly in your chest and you’re surprised Colson can’t hear it. 

“Hey,” he says and you turn to look at him. 

His hand comes to meet your cheek and you search his eyes. You sink into the feeling of his hands on you and nothing feels better in the world. As he moves closer, your breath hitches and you’re mesmerized by his stunning blue eyes. 

Then his lips are on yours, and the long awaited connection has sparks lighting from end to end. He moves slightly so he’s facing you, one hand holding your waist as the other caresses your cheek and you’re relaxed into his touch. 

As he pulls away, he places another chaste kiss to your lips and you’re left smiling wide. As you stare into Col’s eyes, you can’t help but giggle as the ultimate feeling of happiness overwhelms you. 

“Fucking finally,” he says and the two of you are really laughing now. 

#colson baker #machine gun kelly #mgk #kells #colson baker imagine #machine gun kelly imagine #mgk imagine #kells imagine #imagine #bravebesson

[outroshooky]

no halo | kth

⇢ genre: oneshot (brief angst, fluff, smut) (exestolovers!au)

⇢ pairing: kim taehyung x reader, bestfriend!min yoongi x reader

⇢ word count: 5.3k

⇢ audio: brockhampton’s ginger album

⇢ warnings: brief angst (it’s exes to lovers, what do you expect), a smoking mention, some varied cursing; implied and explicit smut (soft!! body worship). there’s a happy ending, i promise.

⇢ a/n: i sat down at my laptop today, turned on no halo by brockhampton, and started writing. six hours later, i cannot believe that i managed to smash a brutal writer’s block by churning this out in literally one day. i hope that this is a bit of bright light for you, dear reader, in a time where nothing seems to be going your way. you will make it through no matter how messy or uncertain life seems to be, and you will come out on the other side all the more stronger for having survived it. 

Believe it or not, it’s the pair of battered red Converse slung over his shoulder that tips the whole thing over the edge.

It’s inexplicable. Perhaps it’s the memories attached to it, knotted and strung through metal rivets scuffed with night rides and hard asphalt. Tastes like cigarette smoke and ashen dreams wafting from the driver’s side window, but there’s something more bitter there. Heartbreak veins, like you’d expect them to pulse with anything but. They say love doesn’t last when it’s not built on something solid, but somehow, heady summer nights and network love aren’t enough to pass the time.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing with those?” It bites, thickened with venom. Somewhere far-off is a headboard banging, curses of those stupidly thin walls of the motel complex. 

“They’re mine,” Yoongi says. Which they are. Unfortunately. “I need them to like, go outside and stuff.”

“Fuck you,” you fire back.

“A ray of sunshine you are,” he remarks. “Any particular reason you feel like biting my head off in this shitty hotel room?”

The silence explains absolutely nothing. What he doesn’t know is that it’s not his fault. It’s right there in the middle of the dingy carpet, cracked and bleeding, privy to one and one alone. You’re too stubborn and he’s too good and here you find yourselves, locked at an impasse. He doesn’t know how good he is, how he’s patched your wounds up with wind in your hair and sand between your toes. He tries his best; it’s better than anything you would allow yourself, a luscious pleasure in such a stark world. So you settle for what you’ve got, and he shakes his head.

“You know you can come to me, right? About what’s on your mind?”

You finger the fraying tear in the bedspread, the cotton crumbling between your thumb and index.

“Look, I’m not good at this feelings thing and you know that. But you’re my friend, and I care about you, and I want to hear you out, okay? Whatever you’re thinking about. You’re not gonna hurt me; it’s not like I haven’t been through the ringer myself. You’re not so different, yeah?” Yoongi’s eyes search your own for acceptance. Defeat. Anything at all. “You’re not some kind of lost cause because one asshole in particular who shall not be named made you feel that way. Maybe it was two assholes. Whatever. Your worth isn’t dependent on their opinion of you.”

It feels like rambling but burns like an iron, sears through the darkness hovering over your consciousness, casting shadow. That thing twitches, bent and broken deep inside, staining down the bedsheets and spilling onto the beige carpet. He’s hit home, and Yoongi knows it when the defiance in your brow drains, floodwater evaporating against the creamy popcorn ceiling. He’ll forever hold that he doesn’t have a way with words; you’d kindly argue the opposite.

“I’m sorry, Yoon.” You look up at him for the first time since you’d woken up on opposite sides of the same bed. Something about childhood innocence preserves moments like those, in spite of years gone past since the last time you shared a bed like that. Nothing dirty about needing companionship in the form of a brother you’d had since you’d skipped stones down at the pond in grade school. He knows you intrinsically, like the scars that cross his knees and the freckles that dot his neck, no better and no less. “You deserve better than the way I’ve been treating you. Because you’re right, you know. But right now, it hurts.”

“Hurt doesn’t make you any less human. It’s a part of life. And it’s okay to hurt sometimes. Just don’t let it consume you till there’s nothing left.” He readjusts the shoes tied together by one string, sitting on the narrow angular of his shoulder. “Breakfast ends in an hour. I’ll grab you something and bring it back, and then we’ll figure out what to do next, yeah? I don’t have work till Tuesday, so we don’t have to be back for a few days more.” He pauses in the doorway. “Oh, and for the record, fuck Kim Taehyung. I’ll knock his teeth through his ass for the shit he put you through.”

The small smile you crack brings a toothy grin to his own visage. “Excellent advice.”

There’s a wry fondness dancing in the deep russet of his pupils, burning umber in the low light. “I try.”

Fuck Kim Taehyung. The exact advice you needed to hear, and the exact advice you decided to act upon, in exactly all of the wrong ways.

It’s the number that is stamped on your brain like a fifty-dollar tattoo— not necessarily the most tasteful, a pain in the ass to remove. Unfortunately, it is the tattoo that your thoughts like to trace with gentle fingers, rubbing at the lines, blurring the edges. Laser removal takes time and patience, but the contrary nestles in the form of stupid decisions and late-night mistakes. Like a dead battery on your Wrangler at 1am on the back streets, a useless cell phone, and three weeks of time to think.

Grief gave way to rage gave way to kindling coals of sadness, burning low but bright enough to light your way. Gone were your attempts to fan them back into the roaring bonfire those motel walls once contained, but here were your best efforts to cradle them close, nurture them that they might die out on their own, and most of them had. Moving on tasted ginger-sweet and minty-bitter, the chill in the air as the leaves tumbled and crunched underfoot, ignited with reds and yellows and everything in between. A summertime flame left for the autumn rain.

Pour the rain did, leaking rivulets down the windshield as you sat in the driver’s seat, staring at the dashboard. In times like these you’d call Yoongi, but he didn’t get off work till the morning and an impossibly timed dead zone did nothing to help your wireless suffering. Nighttime meant comfort for souls like yours, an escape into the quiet of dusk when everyone else sought the dreamy confines of sleep. Unfortunately, it meant that everyone else sought sleep while you were cursedly awake and stuck in the downpour. No place to go, no one to find.

You let your head fall forward and hit the steering wheel with a thunk. Fuck.

Knock knock.

It’s a glance to the left, out the driver’s side window that reveals a silhouette framed in darkness, wrapped in a thick coat, peering through the glass. Hand raised to brow and you can’t help the involuntarily yelp that leaves your mouth from the sheer proximity of the stranger. The figure flinches back in response, and you can’t help the immediate pang of worry. You can’t afford to miss a chance for help, but you also can’t roll down the window, and thus you’re opening the door and squinting into the rain as it blusters through the open gap. “Hello, I’m sorry, my cell phone isn’t working, is it possible for me to borrow yours so I could call somebody to pick me up?”

“Wait, what?” The stranger hunches slightly, peering through the watery onslaught. “Is that who I think it is?”

Oh god.

Oh god no.

The sheer absurdity of the situation isn’t lost on you, not like the way relief is wrapping that thick timbre around yourself like a familiar blanket. The irony of your car happening to die only a few blocks away from that little blue two-story, the coincidences of such a familiar stranger going out for a stroll in the middle of a fucking rainstorm. Of course he had to.

“Unfortunately,” you can’t help but grimace. “Taehyung, what the fuck are you doing out here in weather like this?”

You can hear the hint of a smile in his voice. It almost aches. “Are you saying this isn’t ideal weather to take a walk and enjoy the fresh air?”

“No,” you reply bluntly. Infuriatingly positive he is, always has been. “Ideal weather isn’t a fucking thunderstorm.”

“Mm.” The momentary quiet, save the rainfall, hints at what goes unsaid. “So what are you doing out here?”

You bristle. How to formulate a response that would not warrant help, but also warrant help? “I was out taking a late-night drive and stopped to take a break. I was getting drowsy and I prefer to be a responsible driver, so I pulled over to make sure I was awake enough to drive home.”

“What a considerate person you are!” Taehyung trills, and you’re almost positive it is completely unironic. “How are you feeling then? Do you think you’ll be able to drive home?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll be fine.” A tight smile. Polite. It takes every ounce of will to not study him deeper, all of the curves and edges hidden snugly in the darkness. “Thanks.”

“Are you sure? It’s raining really hard as well; you won’t be able to see well even if you aren’t feeling drowsy.” There’s genuine concern in his tone, warmth bubbling from his throat like liquid sunshine. Maddening. But he’s right; he’s shining a bright light through the flimsy veil of your lies and you’re pinned. Even more maddening.

“Taehyung, it’s—” you clamp your mouth shut because in a slip of the tongue, you were that close to letting anger seep into your tone. That close to losing your stance as the better man, but the line of who exactly is the better man is smudged beyond sight in the downpour. You take a deep breath. Start again. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

Lightning flashes, jolting the clouds and cleaving them in two. The very world could be coming down in tatters around him and Taehyung wouldn’t think twice about being his everyday self, annoyingly cheery and maddeningly gentlemanly. You swear you see a flash of teeth, a boxy smile despite the water dripping from his umbrella, striking the pavement with an irregular heartbeat. Not your own, of course. “Nonsense! We can’t have you left out here to soak like this. Come on, you can drive us home!”

Oh my god, he certainly has not disappeared quicker than the very implication left his mouth. He is not shaking his head like a dog shedding wetness, nor opening the passenger’s side and hopping in, pausing to fold his umbrella in the gap before pulling the door neatly shut. You are not seated in your dead Wrangler with your ex-boyfriend at one-thirty in the morning in the middle of the very heavens coming apart with a religious fervor.

Taehyung brushes his wet hair out of his face, dribbling water down his cheeks. For all of your expectations, he looks no different than when you saw him last, standing on the curb with all the world’s joys flickering in his pretty almond eyes. The shadows cast his profile in a gaunter light, sweeping down the hollows of his jawline, his cheekbones; your fingers tighten around the door handle. Apparently, three weeks might not change much after all.

“Oh sorry, did I rush you?” He opts to ignore your blank-eyed stare of shock, reaching out to you before pausing, his hand outstretched to touch you. “I didn’t mean to rush you if you’re not ready to drive yet. We can sit here as long as you’d like! There’s no rush for me to be home. I just wanted to get out of the rain; it was starting to soak through my umbrella!”

For all of this, you can manage a brief: “Yeah.”

“Let me know when you’re ready to go!” The optimism in his voice is painful.

“Taehyung.”

“Yeah!”

“I lied.”

You don’t need to look at him to know the way his forehead will furrow. “What?”

“Gah!” You can’t help pinching your brow between two fingers. “I can’t fucking believe this—”

“Believe what?” Blinking doe-eyes, long lashes wet and thick in the dimness.

“Taehyung, my car battery died three blocks from your house and my cell phone isn’t working, and now I’m sitting here with my ex-boyfriend in the passenger’s seat and I have no fucking idea how I ended up here.” You sigh. “Do you not see the irony in this?”

He blatantly ignores the gesture towards the massive elephant basically perched on the center console. “No wonder your car is off! We’ll walk then.”

“Taehyung, please just make it easier for the both of us and l—”

It’s no use. Dear god. How you had ever put up with him, shared a bed with him is currently escaping you, but regardless of this, he is already out of the car as the words punctuate empty air. Weighing options is impossible when you have none to choose from.

“-use my phone to call somebody to pick you up!” The driver’s side door opens and he’s there, right there, not across the console or the bar or whatever. Right there. “Come on, we don’t have time to waste!”

“Kim Taehyung, for god’s sake, I am your ex-girlfriend!” The exclamatory stops him in his tracks. Finally. “Why are you helping me?”

The rain pours rivulets down his black slicker, drenching his hair and bunching along his shoulders and running down his arms. And yet, he brushes the water from his brow with a swipe of his thumb, peers at you, sneakered feet planted firmly in the asphalt. He raises a finger to the sky, smiles— not a half-smile, lopey and lop-sided, but a true grin, squared and gummy and full of wonder. “Ideal weather.”

“Kim Taehyung, you are absolutely ridiculous—”

“Ideal!”

“So let me get this straight,” Yoongi grits as you sit across from him, your frame molded into the plush of his second-hand loveseat. “Your car died on the back streets, coincidentally three blocks from Kim Taehyung’s house, who is— just to double check— the asshole who shredded your relationship, and he happened to be out for a walk in the rain and stumbled across you in your car, and offered to take you back to his house and let you stay there till morning until you could get me to pick you up?”

“Yes.”

“What the actual fuck.”

You gesture at him with your free hand, the other occupying a mug of steaming tea. “Join the club.”

“Just to double check, we’re talking about the same Kim Taehyung. The dude who you officially dated for a solid four months but fucked around with long before that. That guy, right? That Taehyung?”

You release a deep breath; the steam rising from your mug winds away. “Yes, it’s the same Kim Taehyung.”

Yoongi looks like he is about to spit nails. “I hope you took the chance to kick him in the balls.”

“Yoongi!”

“Just saying.”

“It could’ve been a lot worse, actually.” Your companion raises an eyebrow. “He gave me his umbrella when we walked back.”

“Ah yes, because giving you his umbrella once undoes six months of emotional damage—”

“Yoongi, chill. I did what I had to do—”

“Which is good, because survival skills are important.” He searches your face for any hint of something other than stoicism. Forgiveness, maybe. “And it doesn’t have to be any more than that.”

“I didn’t say it was,” you affirm. “But even if I don’t like him, I owe him credit where it’s due.”

Yoongi frowns. He knows not to push, but curiosity pecks his bones, nips his intuition. “For the third time— why didn’t you call me last night when you got back to his house?”

You sip at your tea. Flaxen sweet, mild on your tongue. “You were at work and I didn’t want to bother. Paying rent is more important than saving my sorry stranded ass.”

“You’re neglecting to mention the Kim Taehyung part.”

He rubs a fine nerve, one push too far. “Yoongi, what are you so worried about?” You sit up, place your mug on the fold-out table. “It’s not like I’m suddenly pining over him just because he happened to be there when I needed help. It’s not like I had any other options; I can handle myself. Taehyung and I broke up a month and a half ago; I’m not as… broken as I was before.”

It’s written on Yoongi’s face that he doesn’t like it, but protectiveness wins out over stubbornness. It always does when it comes to you. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

You soften. “I know.”

The tension drains from his hunched figure. “I know you can handle yourself when it comes to people like him. But I also know how hard you cried over him in a shitty motel all those weeks ago.” The corner of his mouth twitches. “I don’t want you to feel like that again because of someone. Fool me twice, you know? You deserve better than that.”

Your eyes flick to his. Steady, warm, weighing justice by the tawny flecks that glint in the raven black of his irises. “I do. And I don’t doubt that. It won’t happen again.”

His own mug clacks as it meets the wooden tabletop. “You know, you never told me what exactly happened between you two that ended it. Like, I know the rough idea, but not play-by-play. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but…” He trails off, leaving the gap.

“Ah.” A remark, neutral in sheen but bitter in taste. Like biting into the shell of a crisp apple, only to find that it’s not as sweet as once hoped it to be. “Sure.”

So Yoongi listens.

It’s strange how someone so vivid in nightmares, so seemingly real as the pen between your fingers or the breath in your lungs, can fade away so quickly by daybreak. Before you ran into Taehyung again (for better or for worse? For worse), he loomed as some larger-than-life figure in the back of your consciousness, spewing traumas and terrors like a river gully. But there he was in the passenger’s seat, no larger or smaller than before. Just Taehyung. Terrifying in premise, in rationality, on the contrary.

With that in mind, it was hard to not wonder if you had, perhaps, not given him credit where it was due. The Taehyung you met in the pouring rain was the same Taehyung whose hair you brushed sand from and temple you kissed and sides you pinched to get him to squeak when he laughed. Memories you tried to stuff away, filter through a new lens with every flicker in your mind, like a crackling film reel. But there he was, and here you were, and you weren’t quite sure who you were running from anymore.

Is it easy to run from someone who your lips know the taste of, fingers know the feel of? Is it easier to run from yourself when you strip away the miscommunications, aches and pains?

Yoongi knew the full story now. Terrifying to admit your fault, any measure of it, because you never liked to show him what being broken looked like. Some measure of personal freedom exercised, but with the wrong heart in mind, because he would never judge anything you had to say and instead, simply listen. He was always an older soul than you ever tried to be and he knew it, rugged wisdom at its finest. But ultimately, he only knew what he was told or taught, and there you were, spilling the unmangled truth to him on a Wednesday morning over two cups of chamomile tea. 

Coming to grasp with imperfections is part of the cursed struggle of being human, of embracing those little nicks and dashes that make us who we are. It does not mean we are loved any less, but loved because of them; none of us are angels. These messes are our measures, our faults and our pleasures. How terrifying it all is, being ourselves. Being raw and vulnerable and attacking those thoughts that weigh heavy on our consciousness, day after day.

And it is easy to wonder if you matter through all of this, through the chaos of that inner dialogue. It’s moments like these that put those perspectives into frame, click them like camera shutters pausing time to breathe and think. To look at the white-framed ink is to rewrite tangibility, printed blurry on those transparent rolls. Nothing is so unforgettable when it is angled just so.

In the evening, in the comforts of your apartment, you uncork a Polaroid from where it is hidden behind some cheery optimistic phrase you stole off of tumblr. Bullshit for the purpose it serves, painfully ironic for the task it demands. A picture of a boy with cherry-red hair and a boxy grin on his face, arms wrapped around you with all of the comforts and ease of home. There’s mirth in your eyes, sheer joy and laughter. No alcohol involved, just two people who found it easy to slip into each other’s company just-so. A jasper gem for you, polished to perfection and printed right underneath your fingertips.

Anxiety clenches at the base of your jaw, massages your throat with the cruelest intentions. You swallow it back.

The phone rings once.

Twice.

Crackles to life.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Taehyung?”

His voice melts through the receiver like buttery chocolate, smooth and warm. “You still have my phone number! Hello! I thought I’d never hear from you.”

“I-I’m sorry, what?” You blink in confusion, then shake your head. “Never mind.”

“I thought I’d never hear from you. That guy who picked you up didn’t seem to say much, but I figured you’d call eventually to say that you made it home safe. So I guess you did! And I’m glad.” You can hear Taehyung smiling through the phone, easy inflections of speech.

“Yeah.” You fidget, playing with the edge of your sleeve. Now or never. “Taehyung, I owe you an apology.”

This is the first time he falters, hints at something deeper. “What for?”

You take a deep breath. “You were kind to me. And I didn’t recognize it for what it was at the time, so I was a complete asshole to you. And I’m sorry for that. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, it was the least I could do! Nobody deserves to be stuck in the pouring rain—”

“I’m not talking about the rainstorm.”

He stutters. “I-I’m sorry?”

“Taehyung.”

He’s quiet. It is terrifying.

“Taehyung, both of us know what I mean.”

You momentarily wonder if the line has gone dead. Perhaps it has. A saving grace, and then that deep timbre crackles to life on the other side. You nearly miss what he says.

“I want to hear you say it,” he whispers.

“You were kind to me,” you stutter. “Kind to me; so, so kind. And I didn’t recognize it for what it was w-when you gave it to me. And I was a complete asshole to you. I’m sorry.” You wait for something, anything, but he gives no intention, and you continue. “Taehyung, you were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was so terrified that I stuffed it away into some far-off corner and tried to pretend that it wasn’t happening. I turned so much outward onto you that you didn’t deserve because I didn’t know how to be good enough for someone like you. I took you for granted, Taehyung, the exact opposite of everything I should have done. You glow like the literal fucking sun, and I’m a little cloud drifting through the sky. I should’ve let you shine through me, but instead, I just blocked you out. And I’m sorry,” you confess, the tension in your shoulders collapsing. “I’m sorry.”

For the first time in weeks you wish you could see him in front of you, gauge his reactions like barometric pressure, but instead he’s across town and you are here, feeling ever-so-small in spite of yourself. It was easy to read what he was thinking, painted across his face in swaths of joy and sadness and everything in between, but here, he gave away nothing. 

Please say something, Taehyung. Please say anything.

“Ideal weather,” he murmurs.

“W-What?”

“A sun without clouds in the sky shines blindingly. Clouds temper all that light; certainly we don’t need all of it.” It sounds so cheesy, some Shakespearean verse he quotes from off the top of his head, but it is the closest thing he’ll phrase to acceptance, and you swallow down a relieved sob. He calls you by name then, lets it ring warm and sweet, the way he used to say it. With life, energy, everything it lacked simply because it rang from all the wrong mouths till then. “Everything happens for a reason. You did the best you could. It just didn’t work out at the time.”

“Taehyung, it’s okay to blame me. It’s okay to say that I was the one who fucked it all up, not you. For god’s sakes, you never did anything wrong. It was always my insecurity, my mistakes—”

“You’re only human. You did the best that you could, just as I did. Who could blame you for that?” Taehyung’s words seep heat into your bones, calm your trembling fingers. “I couldn’t. Nobody could. I certainly don’t think any less of you for it. None of us are angels; we did our best with what we had. And that’s alright.”

You can’t help but laugh, dry, monosyllabic. “You handled this so much remarkably better than I did, god.”

He’s breathy with amusement. “It took a little while.”

“I could imagine.”

He hums. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

Your index finger finds the edges of the instant photo. His smile catches in the light of your desk lap. “There’s another reason I called.”

“That wasn’t it?”

“Believe it or not, no.” You trace his shoulders, the planes of his chest. “I just wanted to say. I have a Polaroid of us from July, from that bonfire that Jeongguk had with like fifty people down at the beach. I kept it, selfishly. It’s been pinned up on my bulletin board behind another piece of paper. But I took it out today. And I think I might pin it up in front now.”

“Oh, the cherry red hair.” The fondness seeps through the receiver. “I loved that night.”

“Me too,” you admit. A beat of silence. “Goodnight, Taehyung. Thank you.”

“Oh, you’re hanging up already?”

“What?” You nearly sputter.

“I haven’t gotten to talk about the Polaroids I kept, too.”

There are two ways to fundamentally seduce Kim Taehyung: make his coffee exactly how he likes it, or play with his hair while he’s lying on your chest. Both of which you achieved, and both of which led to your current predicament.

But we’ll rewind a bit.

That phone call, the first of many, lasted into the early hours of the morning, that sacred time that you both hold dear. It tasted like nostalgia and fondness, feelings you corked and bottled out of fear of what might lie on the other side. But in this case, the other side was a friend and more, a living history book for all of the cracks in between. And he simply adored filling them in.

That lazy afternoon where you planned on having a date at the park, but it had poured rain nearly as intense as the day you reconnected with him. You danced in between the raindrops instead, bare feet on the gravely asphalt, wishing you could touch heaven and so you kissed the boy whose cheeks were between your palms. The spontaneous road trip you took to the next big city over, five hours away, simply because for the first time in so long, you had nowhere to be but with each other. Hands held between library shelves, firelight’s glow on faces untouched. Sharing a tuft of blue cotton candy with sticky fingers, talking about everything and nothing under the moonlit, cloudless sky. For every instant photo saved were memories tenfold that he plucked from that mind of his like stars placed in the breadth of the cosmos.

One phone call became two, became four. Became texting over a break at work, FaceTiming over dinner. Became meeting each other for a late breakfast, studying at the cafe for an early afternoon cup of espresso. Depth and understanding, and Taehyung is slotting into your life without a second thought, as easily as you’re slipping into his. You let him this time, so much smoother than before. You want him to.

Neither of you can deny what it is happening, but neither of you can find a complaint to lodge. So when he asks you out, fingers entwined over the metal arm of the park bench, a bouquet of sunflowers tucked next to you, he already knows what your answer will be.

Indeed, there are two fundamental ways to seduce Kim Taehyung, and as a master of both of them, it is only a matter of time before you find yourselves at the foot of your bed; he pulls you closer to press his lips to your own. He tastes like cappuccino and chocolate and you’re humming into the kiss, shuddering underneath him. He still knows your body, every divet, every edge. He never stopped loving it— never stopped loving you.

He worships the way he loves— selflessly, giving every ounce of himself without abandon or question. When he eases himself between your thighs, the look in his eyes is nothing short of sinful adoration, seeking out every secret to your pleasure. It’s ingrained in his memory, the way you gasp or grab his hair when his fingers dance along your skin; he couldn’t forget it even if he tried. It is worth every wince as your digits tug at his scalp; he swallows down everything you give him and begs for more, more, more.

And likewise you lavish him, devoting minutes to dot his heaving ribs with kisses, stroking comforting palms down his sinewy thighs. Taehyung is every work of art you have wanted to see in a museum, living, breathing, merely mortal but so much more. So vibrant, so raw.

And afterwards you lie together, unable to tell where he begins and you end. Breathing in the heat, piecing each other together in the silent din. Clothes are tossed about the room; you can’t find it in you to care. You turn to him, caress his cheek, run a thumb over his lips. “Stay here tonight. Please.”

He smiles and your thumb brushes his teeth, boxy and exposed through the gap of his grin. “Was the overnight bag not enough?”

“How did I not notice you packed an overnight bag?” You sit up, wrapping the blankets around your torso, scanning the room to spot his duffel.

He pushes himself up on his elbows, wraps himself around you like a human koala. “I’m very good at being sneaky.”

“Mm, I noticed.” There it is, against your dresser. Your heart swells, fit to burst.

“Come to bed,” Taehyung hums, gritty, a little seductive. It sends a chill down your spine. You don’t think it’s meant to. Your fingers find his own and knit together over his knuckles.

“I’m right here, sunshine.”

He kisses behind your ear, the gentlest of intentions. “I love you,” he whispers. “Come to bed.”

You squeeze over his hand. Everything left unsaid, in the space of a breath. Two. “I love you too,” you whisper. “And I will always be here, loving you, with everything I could possibly give you. Every ounce of my heart. I love you.” 

He squeezes back, wraps the blanket around your frame, tucks you in tight. He kisses your shoulder with lips of silk, and you roll on your side to get comfortable, his arm draped over your waist. 

Against the far wall, propped up on his duffel, lies a pair of Converse sneakers, as scuffed and beaten as they were saturated with rain, on the day you fell in love with Kim Taehyung all over again.

#btswritersnet #bts #bts fluff #bts smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #kpop fluff #kpop smut #exes to lovers au #outroshooky

[vanishingpod]

Pod Rec Sunday!

Another Sunday, another set of Podcast Recommendations from us here at The Vanishing Act--it’s been a busy week gearing up for the launch of our first episode (huzzah!) on Monday, but we wanted to share some more shows we’ve been diving into over the last month+. 

1) Wolf 359: Truly a classic in the community, and for good reason on so many counts. The show evolves and reinvents itself so many times over the course of  its four seasons that it never grows stale or complacent, always forging new paths ahead for its ragtag bunch of misfits. Following the crew of the U.S.S. Haphaestus, what starts as a pretty standard audio-log-based sitcom turns into a mystery, a horror, an extended character-driven bottle episode, a psychological thriller, an existential tale of what it means to be human (or alien), an amazing metaphor for anxiety and depression, and so many other things--this is a perfect example of ambition in genre-bending and storytelling, and we couldn’t love it more. (Also, their online course on writing for audio drama is fantastic and helped guide us through the early stages of writing our show for audio.) Find them @wolf359radio 

2) The White Vault: Audio horror hell YES! This is a favorite of our head writer, who is always in the mood to curl up on the couch and just get spooked af.  When a repair team is sent to a remote research station in Norway to check on a mysterious signal, they get trapped by a blizzard and start to realize stuff isn’t quite right. The sound design is so evocative of the mood of the show and truly puts you on edge before anything truly spooky even begins to happen--many people ascribe to the belief that horror works even better in an audio format because what’s in your imagination is scarier than most things filmmakers could show you, and this show is the perfect argument for audio drama being the new frontier for found-footage horror. There’s also an amazing, diverse, multicultural cast that immediately delineate who their characters are so we can get our bearings as soon as possible and settle in (as much as possible when you’re battling feelings of dread from pretty much jump.) Find them @thewhitevault​

3) Less is Morgue: On a (slightly) less scary note, Less is Morgue is an (allegedly) fictional interview podcast hosted by a droll ghoul (Riley) and an energetic, Nickleback-stanning ghost (Evelyn). Shenanigans ensue, as they should, and they are lovely. Our producer, Lauren, is from Florida originally, and let it NEVER be said she doesn’t enjoy being targeted specifically with Florida-based humor (#FloridaMan), of which there is TONS in this Tallahassee-based show. There are SO many moments that made us giddily laugh out loud right from the beginning (Oedipus 3000, oh man....) and every character introduced is vivid, silly, and fun. If this show hasn’t won you over by the introduction of Bloody Mary, I truly don’t know if there’s much to be done for you. Find them @lessismorguepod​

4) Fall of the House of Sunshine: This show has made the rounds with our entire production team and we’re OBSESSED. It’s a musical noir on the set of a kids tv show about dental hygiene--what more could you possibly want other than the cast recording right the fuck now??? This. Music. BOPS. Every song is better, sillier, and catchier than the last and the theme song has been in our heads all week. There’s so much I want to talk about on this podcast but 1) I want you to experience it yourself, and 2) things escalate SO quickly on this podcast that they wouldn’t make sense out of context even if I did say them. If you want to check out one of the most singularly-unique comedy podcasts out there, with top-notch vocalists/actors, ridiculously sharp comedic writing, fully-produced production numbers, and a song about a group of sinister puppets, this is where you go. (Also get that cast album, trust me, you’ll want it by the end.) Find them @podmusical​. 

If you love these podcasts, please leave them a review wherever you listen to podcasts--we will be doing so! And if you like comedy podcasts, consider giving The Vanishing Act a listen starting tomorrow--trailer here! 

Happy listening!! 

#podcast recommendations #wolf 359 #the white vault #less is morgue #fall of the house of sunshine #podcasts #podcast recommendation #horror podcast #comedy podcast #musical podcast #musical theatre #audio drama #audiodrama #fiction podcast #podcast

[hoodharlow]

Wildflower: Chapter 1 [PR!Cal]

Prologue found here

AN: First of all this is dedicated to the anon that sent me the whole Twitch stream. ILYSM. Second fatass shout out to @d-oaks​ for always reading and editing these messes ilysm.

Warnings: brief mentions of drug use towards the end

Word Count: 3.8k

“‘llo?” Calum answered his phone groggily. He had passed out the minute he climbed on to bed with Duke. 

“Ash asked you for one fucking thing. Be nice to Alexis, and what do you do? Fucking yell at her in a parking lot.” Luke’s voice boomed on the other side. 

Duke climbed on Calum’s chest. With his front paws he nudged him because he needed to go.

“Did she fucking tell you that?” Calum rubbed his face as he led Duke out to his yard to do his business.

“No, it’s all over fucking Twitter. God, Cal we don’t need this. Look, we got a meeting with the label at nine. I’ll leave ya to it.” With that Luke hung up.

Calum opened Twitter and there was a video of him and Alexis Ximena. The audio was just the paparazzo talking about them, but anyone with eyes could see what they were doing wasn’t talking. They were arguing. The video ended with Alexis wiping her tears as she walks back to the building. There was another video of them, but this one is of him draping his jacket over her as he leads them to the car. 

"Fuck." Calum said to himself. Most of the tweets are calling him out for being an ass. 

He dropped his phone on the couch. He went over to his kitchen and started on his daily coffee when his phone pinged. It was a Tweet from Alexis Ximena.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

A loud knock woke Alexis Ximena. Her morning class was cancelled today. She had hoped she would be able to sleep in today after last night. 

“Mande,” she called.

“Get ready, we have a meeting at nine.” Her dad answered from the other side.

She got up after hearing his footsteps fade away, walking to her vanity to check her phone. Her stomach dropped when she saw twitter. Then she was angry. Where the fuck were the paps? She thought to herself. They always have the fortune of getting her and Calum in pretty compromising  positions. Shawn was still mad at her for the pictures from a few weeks ago in which Calum was carrying Karma, her dog. She was on her way to Paris when the pictures were released. 

Alexis Ximena started typing. “I’m fucking done with the media this morning. I was so excited to share some very exciting things, but TMZ beat me to it. A lot of y’all know I’m a huge fan of @5sos. I had the mf opportunity to be working with them on a project that’s V special to me 1/2

Y’all are so quick to start shit. That video only showed a snippet of what happened between @Calum5SOS and I. We’ve been in the studio all day working. If y’all were us, you'd be annoyed too lmao. Have a nice morning and stop hating on him 💛💛 2/2”

She turned off her phone and got ready. For some reason California decided to be 78℉ in the middle of January, so she changed into a baggy polo long sleeve and a skirt, pulling her hair into a low bun. After she finished her makeup and grabbed her converse, she picked up her backpack from the floor. 

When she got downstairs, her dad was in the living room answering some emails. She quickly filled her water bottle and grabbed a few snacks before following him to the garage. She  watched her dad press a button on the mini fridge, and then a platform lifted. It had all the keys to the cars in here. No wonder she couldn’t find shit yesterday. Alexis Ximena has been living here for almost two years, but she still keeps learning about new features in the house. 

The drive to the meeting was pretty short. She checked her phone and rolled her eyes. They were 45 minutes early. She reached inside her backpack for her journal. Panic ran through her veins after she realized it wasn’t in there. That journal was the last gift her mom gave her before she passed away, and Alexis Ximena used it specifically for her song writing. She pulled her phone out and called the studio. After a brief call, maintenance didn’t find anything other than a few used condoms from a different section where she was. 

“Do you know what the meeting is about?” Alexis Ximena asked dad after finishing the call. She sat down again next to him. Her knee bounced as she wondered where she could’ve left it.

“Damage control for the video TMZ leaked.” He replied.

“I tweeted about it when I was getting ready. We should be good no? I haven’t read anything bad since I sent that out.”

“I’m sorry for what they’re going to ask you to do, mi’ja.” He said solemnly.

She rolled her eyes at his melodramaticism. What’s the worst that can happen? 

She sat back and checked her phone. She was replying to Shawn’s message about meeting up at his place for dinner when they were called in. 

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

They had to be joking, they just had to be. They all saw that video of them about to rip each other’s throats out, so the most reasonable thing that occurred to her team and the label was to suggest they try to convince the general public that they have been dating for a while. Lucky for them, they have enough footage of them that can work in their favor.

Calum glanced over to Alexis Ximena. She looked like she had her mind elsewhere. Her eyes met his, and she looked down at the contract. 

She mumbled something to her dad. Her dad whispered back in Spanish. Whatever he said it pissed her off. Her anger was spewing out of her. From the way she was clicking her pen to her furrowed eyebrows. 

“No, this is bullshit.” Calum was the first to respond.

“I agree. I don’t want to be pictured with him.” Alexis Ximena looked over him in disgust.

“Why? Your boyfriend gonna get jealous?” He taunted. 

Alexis Ximena’s face paled and then she glared at him. 

“What boyfriend?” Her dad asked her in a low voice. She quickly responded to him in Spanish.

“Calum,” Michael warned him. 

“What? She needs the publicity.” Calum turned to Michael then he turned to Alexis Ximena. “I wouldn’t be  surprised if you’re the one that called the paps.”

“I need the publicity? I’m not who’s been teasing an album and tour dates.” Alexis Ximena snapped at him. 

Calum’s brows furrowed as he angrily glared at Alexis Ximena. 

“You know what? Why don't we all take ten and reconvene?" the PR lady smiled at Alexis Ximena and Calum. 

Alexis Ximena pushed out of her chair and walked out of the office. Her dad followed behind her.

Calum took the chance to use the restroom. After doing his business, he walked out of the bathroom. Behind the corner, he overheard Alexis Ximena and her dad argue. He stayed hidden because if he walked over, she would probably chew his head off.

"You're a fucking liar. You promised me that you weren't getting involved in my shit." He heard her say. Her voice cracked in the end, like last night.

"Mi'ja-"

"Don't fucking mi'ja me, Alejandro. I'm working my ass off on that soundtrack only for it to get used as a pawn all because some fucking security guard had the fucking nerve to call the paps that the guys were there.”

"If it makes you feel better, I got them transferred to a different place." Her dad spoke up.

"Of course you did.” She scoffed. “Might as well have gotten them fired, no? That really would have shown them.”

“Ximena—” 

“Do you know how hard it is for me? I have to work my ass off and prove myself so that  everyone realizes that I earn my shit. Then you or Amy swoop in, and it all looks like y’all were behind it." She sighed. 

"I know I fucked up as a dad, but I'm trying to fix it. All I'm asking of you is to sign. It's a shit deal, but you need to do it. If I had it my way, this wouldn't be happening." He said.

Calum heard footsteps.

"You can come out now. I can see you through the reflection of the vase." Alexis Ximena told Calum. 

He awkwardly walked over from behind the wall."Sorry, I overheard. I won't-"

"Are you going to sign it?" She asked, cutting him off.

"I kinda have to. We have an album and tour coming up." He repeated her words to her. 

"Right."

"At least they're letting us go about this more organically. They're not forcing us to go to restaurants and dry hump each other like… you know." 

She glared at him. “Let’s get this over with.” 

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“How the fuck are you even alive? Didn’t you say your dad would have killed you if he found out about him.” Angie asked Alexis Ximena as she lifted her burger.

“I’m pretty sure he’s going to when I get home. He wasn’t about to do it in front of fifteen people, too many witnesses.” Alexis Ximena shrugged. She plucked a fry from the basket. 

After class, Alexis Ximena called Angie, asking to meet her at Umami Burger. Angie and Alexis Ximena instantly became best friends when they got casted in ‘The F It List’. They both faced a lot of criticism because their characters were white. Most of the hate was aimed at Angie because she was black and the main character. People were really mad about that. Alexis Ximena was quick to defend her and call out everyone that made racist comments to her. 

“When are you going to tell him about your situation with Calum?” Angie asked. 

“Later today. He flew down this morning because they made him come for the Grammys. I’m going over after I get Calum a present.” Alexis Ximena explained. She set her sandwich on her plate and reached over for a napkin. “What?”

“You’re getting this dude a present? What is it, a thank you gift? ‘Thank you for yelling at me in a parking lot. Here’s a present.’ You can’t be serious, Alex.” Angie rubbed her temples trying to process. It took everything in her not to call Alexis Ximena out for being a clown that let’s everyone walk all over her. 

“His birthday is on Saturday. After they’re done with their thing, which I have to go to, Luke is playing a little after party thingy in the hotel room. Since I’m his girlfriend ,I have to be there.” Alexis Ximena rolled her eyes and went back to eating. 

After lunch she took an Uber to Diesel. She loved Diesel and most of their clothes had Calum’s current aesthetic. She didn't have much trouble finding him a present. She bought him a black knitted sweater with ‘DIESEL’ across the torso. 

After  she was done, Alexis Ximena hopped on another Uber to Shawn’s condo. She was supposed to go over tonight, but Calum texted her that he had an extra ticket for Coldplay, and she better be ready at 8. She slipped on her sunglasses and covered her head with a hat she bought along with Calum's sweater.

"Hey," she greeted Shawn when he let her in.

"I thought you were coming over for dinner," he said confused.

"I was, but something happened. Uh, can we talk?" she asked. 

"Yeah, let's go to the couch."

He took her hand in his and guided them to the two person sofa. Alexis Ximena's cheeks flushed remembering some of the things they've done on that sofa, specifically her being on her knees in between his thighs. He sat down and pulled her to his chest. 

Alexis Ximena rested her head on his shoulder. She missed this. It's been over a month since they saw each other. The last time was Christmas, but Alexis Ximena had to fly to Melbourne right after for a photoshoot for Vogue Australia. 

"I saw that video of you and Calum. I can't believe he would do that to you." Shawn was the first to speak.

"It was a cleverly recorded video by the paps. All a complete misunderstanding, but his team and mine aremakingusdoapr." She quickly mumbled at the end and hid her face.

"What? I didn't hear you correctly." 

Alexis Ximena sighed, "For damage control or whatever it's called. They're making us you know, date."

"You're kidding me right?" Alexis Ximena shook her head at him. "Did you sign?"

"I had to. They basically used my soundtrack as blackmail. You know how much it means to me." She said, sadly. She played with the hem of her skirt.

"Yeah, but another movie would have come by. We know you get parts thanks to your dad." He said nonchalantly. "Shit, that came out wrong. I'm sorry"

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it." She dismissed him.

"When's your first outing?"

"Later today. We're going to go see Coldplay, but I rather stay here with you. Can we stay like this for a bit? I miss being in your arms." 

"Yeah, Lexi." He said, pulling her closer to him. 

She cringed at the nickname. She's never liked it because it sounds a bit white to her. She's never 

told him that because she knew it would hurt his feelings, so she lets him call her that. 

A few hours passed and Alexis Ximena was on her way back home. Shawn and her spent them hanging out. A few kisses here and there but nothing too intense. In their year old relationship, they never fully had sex. There was something that always held Alexis Ximena back. She just couldn't bare her soul like that. She loves Shawn with her whole heart, but she's never felt comfortable enough to give herself to him or anyone. Luckily, Shawn is patient and never forces her to do something she's not ready for. 

Alexis Ximena thanked the Uber driver and pushed the door code so she could go into her house. She was half way up the stairs when her dad popped his head out from his home office.

“On’tabas?” He asked. Alexis Ximena almost missed the step when she turned around.

“Before you start, I have to get ready because I’m going out with Calum tonight.” She said.

Her sister squealed from wherever from the top of the stairs. “You’re going out with Calum! I frickin knew it. Ever since I saw you two flirting backstage in the Late Late Show, I was shipping. No wonder Karma loves him. I’m starting to think that he wasn’t there for Luke; he was there for you huh?” Paola gushed in excitement. Alexis Ximena looked at her dad, but he raised his hands in defeat and retreated back to his office. She plastered a fake smile and turned to her sister.

“Promise me you’re not going to say anything. It was supposed to be on the DL, but things kinda started to get out of hand. We’ve only been talking for a few months. Since we’re both not busy right now, we’re gonna see where it goes.” Alexis Ximena said. She was delivering the role of a lifetime. 

 “I’m so happy you’re happy again. After the whole mess with Shawn, I was worried you weren’t going to, you know, find love again. I’m glad it’s with Calum. He’s a really sweet guy.” Paola smiled sincerely.

Alexis Ximena vividly remembered that her sister was ready to fight Shawn when the pictures of him and Camila were released back in July. After their talk back then, Alexis Ximena promised him that she wasn’t going to tell anyone that they were still together. She couldn’t ruin his career on something like that. On top of how he was already ruining his career by being associated with a known racist. They can’t have him as a cheater. 

“Let me pick your clothes. We can’t have you looking like a mess on your first date with Calum.” Paola clapped her hands. She grabbed Alexis Ximena’s hand and pulled her to her room. 

“I’m capable of picking my own clothes. I was on that Instlye’s Top Ten Best Dressed of 2019.” Alexis Ximena tried to tell her, but she was in her own world rummaging through Alexis Ximena’s closet, secretly picking some clothes to borrow as well. 

“Yeah, you were number 3.” Paola said, glancing at her.

“Okay you try beating Zendaya and Tracee Ellis Ross.” Alexis Ximena retorted.

“You’re right,” She went back to sorting through the clothes. “Oh my god! Yes! This is perfect.” 

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Calum scrolled through Alexis Ximena’s profile. He followed her a few months ago, occasionally liking a post here and there. He was three years deep when he saw a post from her 18th birthday. It was a video of her forearm getting wiped clean showing a wildflower bouquet. 

Then it hit him. He reached for his phone. He continued scrolling through her profile, waiting for Luke to answer him. She even posted an IGTV about her getting her tattoos covered for filming. 

“Why are you calling me? Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for your big date?” Luke laughed. 

Calum rolled his eyes. “What if we change ‘Sunflower’ to ‘Wildflower’?” He asked, ignoring Luke’s joke.

“You’re still on that? I thought you said you were okay with Sunflower. Why?” 

“I mean other than the fact that Harry literally has a song in his new album called that, Alexis Ximena has a wildflower tattoo—”

“But that—”

“Let me fucking finish.” Calum grumbled, “So I was thinking since we’re dating, I could have a song that’s quote on quote about her. What do you think?”

“I mean, yeah. Ask the rest and see if we have time to change up the song. When are we dropping the trailer?” 

“Early February along with No Shame, I think. We have Friday reserved in the studio. Maybe we could redo the song. Oh shit, we’d have to record Kill My Vibe as well, huh” 

“Oh, I forgot about that song, fuck. Okay, I’ll text Ashton and Michael. We’ll talk about it and fill you in. Let me nap and go get ready for your date.” Luke hung up. 

Calum rolled his eyes. They’re going to a concert, not to some gala or award show. The only thing he had to do was brush his teeth and slip his coat that his sister sent him as an early birthday present. 

He walked over to the fridge so he could reheat leftovers from the other day. While he waited for his food to heat up, he fed Duke and let him wander around the yard until he pooped. Calum decided to stir the pot a bit while he ate his pad Thai. 

He went into one of Alexis Ximena’s fan accounts and liked their current post. It was a video posted on her stories a few hours ago. She was pushing her hair over her shoulders and looking over her shoulder to the camera, her go-to pose, while her sister hyped her up. He locked his phone and waited for a few minutes and unliked it. Within those minutes, a screenshot of the like was getting spread through his fans’ accounts and hers. 

Around 7:50, Calum changed out of his sweats into some jeans. After making sure Duke was good for the rest of the evening, he grabbed his keys, wallet, and journal from the counter. He’s assuming that the journal is Alexis Ximena’s. It’s black leather bound with “AX” etched in gold. It exudes a rich girl that doesn’t know how to spend money, he had thought to himself when he found it. 

When he drove out his house, he spotted Alexis Ximena outside her’s. You had to be blind to not see how beautiful she is, how she carries herself with grace and humility. It’s a shame that it’s all a facade, deep down she’s just another LA girl. 

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“Hi,” Alexis Ximena said when she climbed in his car. “Oh, here’s your jacket. If I knew we were going to meet up earlier. I would’ve given it to you then.”

“Keep it for now. When we break up, I can get it back.” He said, not even glancing to look at her. Alexis Ximena simply nodded. 

She scrolled through Instagram. Ever since Shawn’s 21st party when someone leaked a video of her and Shawn standing close to each other and talking, Shawmila accounts have dedicated their time to tagging in her posts of their faves. They could be doing more productive things like streaming  their fave’s album or buying  tickets for Camila’s tour instead of tagging her in posts because neither her album and tour isn’t doing so good. 

“Is this yours?” Calum asked her, holding up her journal. They were in Calum’s car. They still had a few minutes before the venue people could go in. 

Her eyes widened in surprise. 

“Oh my god, thank you so so so so much. I was worried I lost it. It’s the last birthday present my mom gave me before she—” 

Overdosed, shoving fentanyl down her throat only for Alexis Ximena to find her dead in a pool of vomit when she came back from an audition to Julliard. 

She cleared her throat, “When she, um, passed away.”

Calum instantly regretted what he thought about her spending her money on unnecessary things. He watched her trace the A. 

“I’m sorry for your loss. You don’t have to answer, but when did she pass away?” He asked solemnly.

“Um, a little over two years ago. It’s actually the reason why I moved down to LA with my dad. They split up when I was little, and I stayed in Oakland with her.” She explained. 

She looked over to Calum. He was processing everything she told him. Before he could ask her another question, she looked at her phone. 

“We should get going.” She unbuckled the seat belt. 

“Right.” He nodded along. He noticed how she quickly changed the subject, making it obvious that she was still not comfortable talking about her mother’s death.

“Are you a pancakes or waffles guy?” She asked him. She was a few steps ahead of him. 

“A what?” Calum gave her a confused look.

“You know how in Cloak and Dagger when Tandy and Tyrone go to that club. Tandy and Tyrone pretend to be a couple to get through.” She turned to him, pushing her hair behind her. “From the look on your face you don’t even know about Cloak and Dagger.” 

“No.” 

“Cloak and Dagger is a show. It’s so good. I’m really disappointed they cancelled it. Anyways, the pancakes and waffles reference is for hand holding. Like do you clasp your hand around, pancakes, or do you intertwine your fingers, waffles. I’m a waffles girl, which sucks because Shawn is a pancakes guys and—”

“Waffles.” Calum cut her off. The last thing he wanted to hear was her talk about Shawn.

“Okay,” She reached for Calum’s hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. “Waffles is it.”

#pr!cal #Wildflower #calum hood #calum hood series #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fanfiction #cloak and dagger #5sos #5 seconds of summer

[kingsandsaints]

~ Author Meme ~

I claim to be tagged by @ihni ! wasn’t tagged directly but I wanted to do this so here y’all go !

I don’t have a lot of work published so far so I’m going to take some liberties and talk about some WIPs as well

Author Name: KingsAndSaints (formerly WhereTheWildThingsWent but who has the time to type or remember that)

Fandoms you write for:  Nowadays it’s all Harringrove but I’ve written SO MUCH that I’ve never posted. Pretty much all of it was RPF, either of youtubers or bands. 

Where you post: AO3

Most popular one-shot: The only one-shot I’ve published is Like A Sunburn, so I guess that one. It’s about Billy having chronic pain after the battle of Starcourt and doesn’t even have 1k reads. I’m still glad I wrote it because I gave Billy the same condition as my roommate and writing it was a way for me to imagine what her life is like on a day to day basis. I’ve only told her that I wrote it a few weeks ago and it’s going to be the first piece of my fanfic that she’s ever going to read which will be weird. More so because I’m kind of nervous that I got something wrong, but it will be good to be told so. 

Favourite story you wrote:  It has to be Definitely Something. I started it trying to write something light and funny for a change but it seems I can’t write anything over 1k without also throwing in some turbulent musings on the human condition. It was really fun to dig into the characters and come up with their family history, wants and needs. And some of the comments I got on that one can still bring me to tears. I’m still really proud that I finished it. 

Story you were nervous to post:  I have some mpreg stories in my drive that I am nervous to post, present tense. I know a lot of people are put off by mpreg because it tends to feminize male characters, which is fair. However, I think the problem is not that a man having a baby is weird. It’s that pregnancy itself is just insane, regardless of gender or sex. It’s an incredibly intense thing your body goes through and I think the fact that it’s happening to a male character just brings the inherent weirdness to the surface. We’ve just normalized and kinda glamorized pregnancy for women when I think it’s just as weird and beautiful and gross as a man having a baby. 

There is so much conflict you can draw from in mpreg. In of the stories I’m writing Billy is intersex, gets pregnant by accident and hates every second of it. For him being a pregnant boy in the 80s is an incredibly traumatizing and dysphoric experience. He just wants to get out of Hawkins, get into college and move on with his life. Meanwhile, Steve is pretty excited about having a child and getting some purpose and direction in his life now that he doesn’t have college to look forward to. The tension between Billy not wanting anything to do with the baby and Steve wanting to keep it while both want to stay together is one I find really interesting to write about.

That’s part of the reason why I ended up writing my thesis about A/B/O. Because it’s weird and kind of uncomfortable but that discomfort is proof that there is something strange and novel going on regarding sex and gendered embodiment. For me, that initial discomfort is the main reason to explore male pregnancy and how it would function on a personal and societal level

How do you choose your titles: 

They just come to me. I usually get a few ideas while I’m writing and pick one, but if I don’t have anything, I just chose something from a list I made of phrases that sound nice. In the case of Definitely Something, I had the title before I worked it into the story. 

Do you outline:  I start out with a collection of scenes that I like. When I feel like I have enough plot material and I want to make a serious effort to finish the story, I’ll do some outlining before try to fill in the gaps, just so I feel like I know where I’m going. I also outline during revision.

Complete: 3 on AO3, 5 if I count old Wattpad fics in.

In Progress:  Too many. I tend to abandon stories for new ideas and pick them back up much later. What I’m working on changes from week to week. In the case of Definitely Something, I wrote the first scenes 16 months before I’d finished the final chapter and wrote a bunch in the meantime. 

This week I came up with three one-shot ideas, none of which are finished just yet but the fact that they are short is very new for me. All my ideas usually end up being novel-length so it’s nice to get some ideas that I could actually finish within a week’s time. The one I’m closest to finishing is one where Steve doesn’t want Billy to get a tattoo for him, but then Billy remembers he’s a naughty bitch. 

I also have my Two Princes AU based on a serial fiction podcast but more on that one later. 

Do you accept prompts: no... I don’t have enough faith in my skills as a writer to ask for requests. There are already a bunch of incredibly talented writers in this fandom who can stir up some brilliant one-shots with one or two lines of prompt, but I don’t think I’d be one of them.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write:  The Two Princes AU! The fun thing about writing an AU is that I know exactly what’s supposed to happen but you also have a lot of freedom. 

The podcast is quite jolly and gets through events fairly fast, but in text, I have the time to really develop the characters, describe their train of thought and add a few additional storylines. Another thing is that in audio they don’t really describe the scenery so I get do add that element as well. Plus, it’s been really fun to study the story and figure out where how I’d cast the characters of Stranger Things into the existing roles. 

OH, and making a playlist?? I found this string quartet that does classical covers of pop songs and they made albums of the soundtrack of the first two seasons of ST so you fucking bet I’m gonna have Prince Billiam enter the stage on a string cover of Rock You Like A Hurricane !!! 

So yes I’m very excited about this. Feeling pretty confident this will be the next multi-chapter thing I’m going to post. I kind of want to finish it before I start posting so I can pop a chapter out every week and illustrate each chapter.

Tagging: I’m gonna do the same as Ihni and just say if you wanna do this I have hereby tagged you! You have my full permission to indulge in your own writing! Don’t forget to tag me in the post so I can read all about your process!! 

#tag game

[jazzviewswithcjshearn]

A detailed look at Stanley Nelson’s Miles Davis documentary: “Birth Of The Cool” (2019)

The following is an in depth review of the New York premiere weekend of Stanley Nelson's Birth of the Cool which I attended on Sunday August 25th, 2019.  Where applicable I have added some additional information about Miles' history and career to give context for new fans in the Davis orbit.  

Introduction

Miles Davis.  All you need to do is say the name and many adjectives are conjured-- restless innovator, genius, temperamental, swagger, fashion icon, tenderness, mentor. All of  these themes and then some are explored in famed director Stanley Nelson's fantastic new documentary Birth Of The Cool. For casual music lovers and devotees of Davis' extensive genre breaking career, there is a lot on offer.  Initially when the film was announced, following Don Cheadle's  creative  vision of the trumpeter's retirement period with Miles Ahead in 2015 the thought in my mind as a lifelong Davis fan was what could possibly be covered that I don't already know?  The answer is quite a bit. Through combinations of interviews with those who knew him best, musicologists, fellow musicians such as Jimmy Cobb, Herbie Hancock, Ron Carter, Wayne Shorter, Lenny White, Carlos Santana, family friends, and ex wife Frances Taylor Davis, it creates quite an intimate portrait.

By far the most impressive feature of the two hour documentary is the coverage of Miles the man, not as an mythical superhero figure as some documentaries or biopics are wont to do with their subjects.   Nelson covers virtually the entire spectrum of his career and life: personal reflections from Davis' joys  following Dizzy and Bird to 52nd street, meeting ex wife Frances Taylor, the unbearable suffering of his heroin habit quitting cold turkey, the relapse into drug use to deal with intense physical pain, his thoughts on creation, the freedom of being a black man in Paris, and the disappointment of coming home and seeing the racism again, among other topics. Davis is approachable and endearing to the audiences voiced by actor Carl Lumbly reading portions from both Miles: The Autobiography and interviews from his later years.

The Music and Film Production

Nelson's interspersion of decade specific footage to track the trajectory of the trumpeter's varied career is incredibly clever featuring stock footage, fast cuts of classic films, and significant political events.  The use of Wayne's Shorter's “Paraphernalia” from Miles In The Sky (Columbia, 1968)  as the director announces the decades through slick headers is striking. It is striking in part because it drives home the point of how the trumpeter was always moving forward.  Though he always went forward musically seeking to change with the times and grow, Miles' previous musical breakthroughs from Birth of the Cool (Capitol, 1957 rec. 1949/50) Round Midnight (Columbia, 1956) Kind of Blue (Columbia, 1959) Sketches of Spain (Columbia, 1959) Miles Smiles (Columbia, 1966) On the Corner (Columbia, 1972) The Man With the Horn (Columbia, 1981) and Tutu (Warner Bros, 1986) just to name a few, informed EVERYTHING he did; and that's important to realize for newcomers should they wish to make the deep dive to access his entire catalog.  The use of  “Agitation” from E.S.P. (Columbia, 1965) as Frances Davis was discussing the domestic violence she experienced, as well as during the recounting of the brutal beating by a drunk police officer outside Birdland shortly after Kind of Blue was issued made the viewer almost feel those incidents.  A wonderfully smart choice by Nelson to use  selections from Round Midnight, Workin' (Prestige, 1956) Kind of Blue, Sketches of Spain, Bitches Brew and On the Corner at the appropriate moments was masterful and lead a gentleman to remark at the post film Q&A that the film's totality was a composition and the director was on par with a musician.

The reasons for having an actor voice Davis was due to the fact that although Nelson had access to 40 tapes of Davis in conversation with Quincy Troupe for Miles: The Autobiography, the director explained at the post film Q&A that the interviews were recorded on a cheap tape recorder, with quite a lot of background noise, so the tapes were unusable.  It was decided to use portions of the autobiography and later interviews to tell Miles' story.  His actual voice is heard in the documentary via session reels from Freedom Jazz Dance: The Bootleg Series, Vol. 5 (Columbia/Legacy, 2015) the 50th Anniversary edition of Kind of Blue and there is some gold there.  The archival photos and footage are stunning.  Davis' friend Corky McCoy had brought two reels of film, and had a 16mm camera for which he took a class at UCLA and provided a lot of source material.  The scenes of Miles boxing are phenomenal, and one sees that he had as much passion for the sweet science as he did for music, and cooking.  He had a terrific left jab!  There were many previously unseen non performance photos that were obtained through photographer estates, and friends that add another deeply personal dimension to things.  Also essential to the narrative arc is that contrasting views are presented.  Stanley Crouch's frank admission of not getting, liking or understanding the 70's period met by a harsh, but true rebuttal by Carlos Santana is just part and parcel of the documentary's mission to feature everything.

Miles' Humor, Stance as a Civil Rights Activist

Over the course of the film's two hours, there are some hilarious bits of the trumpeter's blunt commentary on life experience, and thoughts on other musicians.  For those with a deep knowledge of him, there are no new revelations, but they are quite funny just the same.  Miles is heard in session reel audio “I can't play that shit, man!” and even more uproarious in a story relayed by Wayne Shorter of a well known episode, the trumpeter's response to black folk playing the blues out of suffering is classic: “you're a GODDAMN liar!!!” Finally, tenor legend Archie Shepp discussed wanting to sit in with Davis to which he was met with a stone cold “fuck you!!” which brought a unison chuckle from the Film Forum audience.

As funny as his remark was regarding his teacher's naive comment, it boldly demonstrated  Miles' commitment to  exercising the civil rights of black people, and the pride of being black.  In 1957 when Miles Ahead was first issued, Columbia chose a white woman sailing on the cover because they felt that it would show that the trumpeter crossed over to a mainstream (read: white) audience.  When Davis saw the cover, he incredulously asked “who is this white bitch on the cover?”  The album was promptly reissued with an image of him instead.  In 1961, he demanded that Frances Davis be photographed on the cover-- the first in a series of covers featuring black women on the trumpeter's records which for the time period, an incredibly progressive move. Cicely Tyson was featured on the cover of Sorcerer in 1967, another emphatic statement on the beauty of black women.  As the film discussed early on, Miles saw his dark complexion symbolic of power, and that is something he exhibited time and time again. Although not covered in the film, the famous February 12, 1964 concert that produced My Funny Valentine and the companion Four and More brought forth a rare passion from the players involved because they had learned Davis had waved the fee for the show as it was an NAACP benefit.  Also he had felt strongly about the apartheid in South Africa during the 80's and refused to play there.  He was committed to the civil rights of African Americans up until the day he died.

Transition to Superstar in the 80's

As Miles started back on the road to health in the early 80's after the 1972 car wreck that caused him considerable physical pain and causing him to  dive back into substance abuse, he emerged a new man in the 80's.  He cut Man With The Horn with a new band, diving into the new decade's vision of funk. Along the way he tapped into Caribbean flavored grooves, synth pop, and hip hop.   He did interviews (most memorable, his appearances with Bill Boggs and on the Arsenio Hall Show) television shows like Miami Vice, and played a leading role in the film Dingo. Nelson's choice of footage and commentary from musicians during this period show him as positively ebullient, Davis was healthier, painting and cooking, his passions with increased zeal.  The footage of the Tutu session, showing the trumpeter's investment in current pop music of the day, and with Prince is quite jubilant.  

Touching Moments

There are several touching moments scattered throughout the film that Nelson uses to truly allow the audience to identify with Davis and those who loved and cared about him.  Three particularly stood out. The star of the film was without a doubt Frances Davis who had detailed a few stories previously unbeknownst to me.  When Miles fell in love with her after seeing her in a production, she was heavily courted by top Hollywood and Broadway actors of the day, with unshakable confidence,  and wry humor she professed in the film that as a dancer, her legs were her best asset and that  was like with everyone else, won Miles over.  Though he had many romantic partners, he and Frances clearly had something that was beyond special.  He admitted due to his drug use that he was a bit jealous of the attention she received after being cast in West Side Story and made her quit the show.  The emotion she felt when retelling the regret she had when leaving the show, and  her career behind was palpable and heartbreaking.  She would frequently disappear upstairs in their apartment and gaze longingly at her ballet slippers between bouts of cooking.  Lumbly, as Miles intones in his signature rasp how he wished he knew years later that Frances was the best thing to ever happen to him-- a fact he was unaware of when they were together.

The second really touching moment of the film occurs towards the end of Miles' career during the famous 1991 Montreux concert conducted by Quincy Jones where he revisited classic Gil Evans arrangements. There was no musician closer to Davis from 1983-1991 than Wallace Roney.  In the film, Roney explains his feelings at Miles indicating he wanted to get the quintet with Wayne Shorter, Herbie Hancock, Ron Carter and Tony Williams back together but also revisit the Gil Evans material, he had the sudden realization Miles had little time left. The rehearsals for the July, 1991 Montreux concert were vigorous, and Davis showed up for only a few.  One of the most challenging pieces was “Pan Piper”.  Roney, sensing what his mentor and dear friend was feeling physically jumped in to assist.  The piece was not rehearsed but called at the concert, and Davis, summoning the strength of his youth plays a remarkable solo, sharing phrases with Roney.  At one particularly difficult passage, Roney jumps in, but Miles is also playing the same phrase.  Like Muhammad Ali winning the title a third time in the 1978 rematch with Leon Spinks, Davis managed to reach back and heroically play through the tune, as he did the rest of the concert, providing a memorable late career moment.

The third deeply emotional moment is shared by Miles' last partner, friend Jo Gelbard.  As the trumpeter was rushed to the hospital, she detailed some of their last moments as Miles was in his bed prior to having a stroke.  The moment has a gut wrenching, aching beauty similar to a great solo like on “Blue in Green” or “Time After Time”.  She tells of a conversation that she and Miles had where he said “God doesn't punish you, you get everything you want.  You just have limited time.”  Indeed, a provocative thought on mortality.

Closing Thoughts

Attending the Birth of the Cool New York City premiere weekend was a marvelous experience.  While fans can quibble about what was not included, what albums were glossed over, the lack of bands represented, etc the documentary set out what it was supposed to do; present a balanced, comprehensive portrait of Miles Davis the musician, and human being.  While it would have been nice to hear from band mates like George Coleman, Keith Jarrett, Airto, Kenny Garrett, Foley, Marilyn Mazur, Benny Rietveld, Jack DeJohnette, Chick Corea or Dave Holland, many of them are featured in the Miles Davis Story (2001) and those interviews can be used as a supplement to this new film.  Stanley Nelson treats Davis with respect, and veneration detailing the human experience at each point. The wealth of unseen photos and film footage are a nice bonus for diehard fans, and the well known stories that they all know, will be enlightening to casual and new fans of Davis. The Q&A on the Sunday, August 25th matinee was incredibly insightful, with probing detailed audience questions, with an added treat:  The ageless 95 year old drumming pioneer Roy Haynes in the audience!  One of the few surviving titans to have played with Charlie Parker.  The documentary is on a par with Jaco, Chasing Trane and Bill Frisell: A Portrait.

Rating: 8.5/10

(c)2019 CJ Shearn

#miles davis #legend #change #blackness #herbie hancock #wayne shorter #john coltrane #tony williams #jazz #music #documentary

[pitofghosts]

11 Questions Tag

Tagged by @rktho-writes! Thank you!

What makes you chuckle knowingly about your WIP? (If it’s too spoilery, just skip this one.)

The reason for Kaifen not being blessed...... Sometimes I wonder if anyone else wonders why, or if they just go “sometimes genetics miss someone.”

What was the biggest setback you’ve ever experienced writing your WIP?

Writing the actual ending... and also my lack of plot in the beginning. I had no idea what the fuck was happening.

What medium would your WIP not translate well to? (Movie, audio play, concept album, comic, etc.)

MOVIE! It’s too long. I think miniseries is the shortest it could be.

If someone accused you of plagiarizing elements from other authors (example– your villain talks to his pet snake, just like Voldemort from Harry Potter!) what would be their first accusation?

I want to formally apologize to Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante Dimartino for stealing Zuko, aging him down, and making him the protagonist only now not only does he have a complicated relationship with his father, but with his god!

Kaifen originated as a Zuko rip-off and I’m not at all ashamed to admit that lmao.

What scenes are harder to write than others?

Anything where Kaifen has to sit and listen instead of acting. It’s as hard for your as it is for me buddy I promise.

Which character is most like you?

Saoirse, Viktor, or in some ways, Illarion. Though most of them are like me in some way.

Which character is least like you?

Kuratsa.

If you could be transferred to the world of your WIP, what role would you want to play? (Occupation, residence, spouse, etc.)

I want to protect these kids. Adoptive mother I guess? Although I think I’d want to live in Drekku. It’s the most stable place even though we rarely see it. I think being a floral collector/perfume maker there would be nice.

Which Hogwarts house do most of your characters belong to?

Gryffindor probably.

If someone else had to write your WIP, who would you want to write it?

Someone on writeblr or someone published/popular/you know, an Author-with-a-capital-A? For the second one probably Leigh Bardugo. I love her prose in Six of Crows and would love to see how she’d write Saoirse. I especially think she’d do some wonderful stuff with Illarion. And Pelageya and Heila, too... She writes wonderful women and girls.

For someone on writeblr.... I’d be curious about how @woodhouse-jay would write it though I’d be scared about what he might do to the poor cast; I have a feeling the aftermath of climaxes might be bloodier than mine. I’d also be interested in what @abalonetea might do! Systems for magic aren’t my strongsuit and she’s very good at that so it’d be cool to see an AFITS where the magic/powers were more of a focus.

What would a film producer be most likely to get wrong about your WIP?

Make Vwos too much like Russia. Probably dumb down Saoirse and make him more comic relief. I think the importance of Kaifen’s backstory and parents could easily be overlooked. Pelageya and Saoirse being ex’s would probably be played up too much. If the romance between Kaifen and Saoirse was even kept I worry it wouldn’t do a good job of showing that Kaifen is interested, just not... right then. It would be hard to capture those inner feelings in film.

I’d feel sorry for any film producer working with AFITS.... There’s a lot of mirrors and those are horrid to shoot with.

My questions:

1. What is your favourite setting in your WIP?

2. Do you have any unofficial theme songs for your characters?

3. Are any of your characters based off of people you know IRL?

4. What’s the funniest moment in your WIP?

5. The saddest moment?

6. Which character do you think you would most like to date?

7. What other medium do you think your story would work well in?

8. Do you plot your twists or do they happen naturally?

9. Is there a moment of angst you feel kind of sad just thinking about?

10. Which character is the easiest to write? The hardest?

11. Who is your favourite antagonist?

Tagging: @woodhouse-jay @abalonetea @snowdropwrites @vviciously @dogwrites and anyone else!

#about me

[she-toadmask]

I wish there was a thing that gave you ‘songs like this’ in topic and tone instead of just by the musical sound

Like my taste is whatever I like but a lot of it depends on the lyrical content at least in part

Like one part of my music taste is up-tempo/upbeat stuff with kinda fucky lyrics like a good chunk of Creature Feature’s songs (not all of them, like Here There Be Witches is a slower song and I’m sure there are others I like) just like

Stuff that’s about murder n shit but not about real crimes or anything that’s too much

Like sometimes I’m like ‘I want a song about making a deal with an evil thing’ but like...aside from Devil Went Down to Georgia, how many are there that aren’t heavy metal or similar? (That’s like the one genre of music I am certain I dislike or just don’t like yet. There are some metal covers of songs I like on YouTube and those are good but I’m just really not as into it maybe it’s because the words are hard to hear or understand or maybe I just don’t like that kind of loudness/chaos, but I have yet to find an original song in that style that I like.)

Sometimes I want stuff similar in style, tone, and lyrical content to Disney villain songs but that isn’t that because I want other stuff right now and if it’s out there I can’t find it. I mean maybe if I made a Spotify radio out of it I might get something new, but I could just as easily just end up with a Disney/animated musical radio. I never thought about it at the time because that wasn’t the mood I was in but I can probably find some things in musicals that would work, though it still might not have been what I was looking for since it was part of a greater work and not just an independent (relatively, could still be part of an album theme but I wouldn’t know shit about that) song about that stuff.

Honestly though if I got songs on my phone encompassing my entire taste and hit shuffle, there would be no telling what would pop up. Musicals? Online songs people wrote about video games? Edgy shit? No fucking telling my taste is whatever sounds good, like I like Cats (original London cast thank you very much) and Music Man and Chicago (at least musically never seen the show) and The Lightning Thief and Be More Chill and Mean Girls; and then I also really like a good chunk of what Random Encounters has produced like I still have stuff of theirs I don’t like but it’s mostly old stuff that came out before I subscribed and then I like a lot of The Stupendium’s songs and his style is all over the place (I played some of his songs to a friend in the car recently and she wasn’t really listening to the lyrics as much as just the song and she said I listened to weird music and like...yeah I guess having Vault Number 76, It’s A Joy, and The Fine Print in the same playlist would be kind of weird if you didn’t know they were by the same person lmao he has great range and songs I started off not liking that I’ve listened to more times I’ve grown to like, like the weird-sounding ‘Joy’ in It’s A Joy’s chorus is supposed to sound funky and wrong because that’s the vibe of the game, and just the fact that I initially didn’t really like Way Deeper Down but I kept listening to it and now I love it a lot and it’s just really fun); and then there’s just a playlist someone made on Spotify called Creepypasta Songs and it has a lot of really good music like the ones I’m remembering right now are Bullet by Hollywood Undead (the lyrics are so fucked up but it’s so upbeat and catchy and that bridge has action hero vibes out of context), Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums (yes I googled it and yes the title is that fucking long for some reason), I think Mama by MCR is on there too, probably Black Parade too, Blood definitely is, there’s a lot of edgy music there and it’s good music. (Oh I think Teenagers is in that playlist too. Going back and looking there’s also Boulevard of Broken Dreams, the version on some cast recording of a musical apparently, Duality, Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing, both of those two are from Set it Off and they’re really good too, there’s a lot there and most of it is really good, just wish that Madame Macabre’s Spotify releases of her classic songs weren’t so jarring, like if you’re going to redo your vocals don’t just leave the instrumental how it was initially, it creates this awful contrast when your voice is doing ‘cool’ stuff and the music is just kinda flat. Same goes fro the ones where she did a collab with someone else and their vocals aren’t redone, like I get the desire to make your old stuff better but it’s just really jarring how the audio quality is so different between the voices on the track, the duets I can think of that are so not great on Spotify but just fine on YouTube where they weren’t altered were her Skintaker song and Balloon Animals.

I feel like I had other things to say but I got distracted so they’re gone now.

Only other thing coming to mind is I did things on Wattpad and I have stories posted there and they make me cringe but I’m not going to delete them because I don’t think they have any personal information and for all I know someone could love them a lot and get really sad when they can’t find it again. I doubt it, but given that I, multiple times, have gone to look for something and not been able to find it because the creator deleted it, I really don’t want to do that to someone else. Because it sucks.

#untagged #delete later

[owlinaminor]

DONNY NOVA BAND REUNION CONCERT (@ BIRDLAND JAZZ CLUB) NOTES

hello, tumblr.  this is betsy’s ghost speaking, because betsy died about five minutes into that thing.  i did, however, take some notes on her behalf.  those are under the cut because... there are many notes.

also!  i took an audio recording of pretty much the whole concert, and it’s pretty decent quality considering that my seat was not great.  if you want it, dm me or shoot me an email ([email protected]); i’ll gladly send it to anyone in the fandom without a trade because this was such a fucking good concert, i think the whole world should’ve heard it.

i know a guy.  the concert started with corey and nate doing donny and jimmy’s little riff from when they first meet in the show, transitioning into a version of i know a guy with original verses for each band member!!!!  the best moment was that joe got about three verses to himself (since johnny doesn’t have a verse in the actual song).  imagine, in the place of corey singing, “finally home”, joe singing, “finally joe”.  yeah.  incredible.

ain’t we proud. mostly the same as it is in the show, except that they played an extra verse which i’m guessing was cut from papermill.  but man oh man it was so good to hear these guys playing together again.  also nate and joey were really showing off on their solos (it was kinda hard to see nate from where i was sitting, but i think he was playing tenor?  like, just for fun?).

first steps.  laura’s grand entrance!!  the intro to this was so fucking corny, because corey was like “hey do you want to sing a little bit laura” and she was like “yeah, of course, but first steps first”.  also, during the “julia forgot the bridge” part, some of the guys told stories about lines they flubbed during the show.

firefly, an original song by joey pero!!!  featuring none other than bandstand composer robert taylor on the violin!!!!!!!  this was a really pretty piece; joey is so fucking talented, his skill on the trumpet honestly blows my mind every time i hear him play.

agony, a parody of the song from into the woods, by geoff and joe.  about how hard it was for them, as actors, to learn their instruments.  yeah.  it was a religious experience.  also, perfect ending (both of them singing perfectly, “at least i’m not corey cott.”)

you deserve it.  everyone killed it on this, obviously.

worth it.  this was the original concert song, that was cut during the show’s run at papermill and eventually replaced with love will come and find me again. it’s a bit slower and (imo) less instrumentally interesting than love will come and find me again, but it’s a really gorgeous duet and corey and laura seemed to have so much fun with it.

give me a reason.  this was another cut song, originally either in place of this is life or right after it.  it’s just a beautiful corey solo.  and apparently laura convinced him to re-learn it for this concert a full year and a half after the song was cut because she loves it so much.  if that’s not friendship i don’t know what is.

samba counterpoint.  this started out like normal counterpoint... and then all of a sudden brandon and joe started playing a latin beat... and then joey and nate and geoff started doing improv over it... it was really incredible.  they explained afterwards that, during band calls/tuning calls, the band would often create different versions of the songs in the show, and this one was one of their favorites.  other remixes apparently included “surfer you deserve it” and “ain’t we proud but just like twice as fast”.  corey also gave a great shout-out to the dancers at this point - almost all of the show’s ensemble came to watch, which i thought was truly wonderful.

nate’s solo.  i unfortunately don’t know what this song was called, just that nate said it was his favorite song.  he played piano and sang.  he’s unbelievably talented.  i’m sure anyone reading this already knows how unbelievably talented he is, but it bears repeating.  (”that’s the saxophone player in our show,” geoff said afterwards.  “what a jerk.”)

my funny valentine, sang by brandon, featuring nate playing bass (brandon said thirteen but actually this man plays like twenty instruments it’s insane) and joey playing a truly lovely trumpet solo.  brandon has such a good voice.  wow.  and it was clear that he really enjoyed showing off.

talking about vets.  not a song, but i wanted to give this its own bullet point.  all of the cast members said something about how meaningful it had been to them to tell vets’ stories, and what they’re continuing to do for different organizations (corey plugged the fact that he’s running the houston marathon with his dad to raise money for the USO, for example).  they were also selling signed cast albums and photos of the show’s veteran wall to raise money for taps.  good shit.

welcome home - romantic, the extended version of julia’s rewritten verse of welcome home.  laura was at her peak with this one.  i don’t have much to say other than damn.

tuxedo junction, played by conductor/pit pianist matt perri!  it was super cool to see the guy who’s kept the show’s music running actually featured in the spotlight, and his singing and piano playing was so good.  (i also loved this one because, near the beginning, nate and geoff started aggressively head-bobbing in sync, and kept it up for the rest of the song.  love these good good friends.)

love will come and find me again.  laura killing it.  again.  also, she segued into this one by saying that there will have to be a bandstand revival and/or tour, because “love will come and find this show again”.  she’s clearly still so salty about the show closing, and, well, same.

nobody.  brilliant ending for a brilliant concert!!!  nate, geoff, and joey all stood up during different parts of the song to do a bit of choreography, which was really fun.  and of course they got a standing ovation, and calls for an encore, which led to...

white christmas (encore).  because, as corey said, the donny nova band is a “real band” that has to “play stuff when people call for an encore” despite their very limited repertoire.  this was basically corey’s best bing crosby impression, featuring backup vocals from geoff, nate, joey, and laura.  it was very beautiful and i nearly cried.

so my face still hurts from smiling for an hour straight... this reunion concert was really really incredible, especially because everyone onstage seemed to just be so happy to be back making music together.  i really hope they can do more stuff like this in the future (tour when?  revival when?)

#bandstand #bandstand broadway #bandstand reunion concert #donny nova band #broadway audio #hi this is your captain speaking #honestly all i want is for someone to isolate samba counterpoint so that i can put that shit on repeat

[kewltie]

title: MONSTAR

author: kewltie

pairing: hyukjae/donghae

contains: slight media fic, non-linear narrative, celeb/manager, substance abuse, fandom

summary:  The life and time Lee Eunhyuk--rock god, king of the airport's runway, lord of the tabloid's front page and Donghae's eternal migraine.

a/n: i said i wasn't going to start anything new new until i finish my other projects but LOOK it been two years (??) since i wrote anything that doesn't belong in magnetic, posted to my tumblr, OR updated any of my old fics soooo hey! this isn't even new new since i been working on this on and off on my tumblr for years now so haha /o\. i like to think of this entire 'verse as my love letter to lee hyukjae so HERE WE GO GUYS. 2-3 parts i think?? lmao I THINK.

>>>>>>>>>Part One<<<<<<<<<<<<<

#eunhae #fic: monstar #I SOLD MY SOUL TO FINISH THISSSSSSSSS #im not sure it worth it BUTTTTTTTTT IT'S DONE OMFGGGGGGGGG #well ok no it was mostly my sleep #it's almost four omg someone save me #i fucking lie #it's five now bc I HAD TO EDIT THE FORMAT AGAINA;SLJDF;ASJD

[bannedfromtheaters]

Oooh wicked or rent (or both😊) (for the ask game)

Ay I’ll do both :D (warning tho, I’m pretty critical of Rent) and this goes under a cut bc OOF did it get long haha

Rent

the first song from this show I heard: I remember when I watched Rent for the first time recognizing the tune of Seasons of Love so probably that onedo I own the cast album?: Nope, although I got a few of the songs in my ‘musical’ playlist on spotifyfavorite song: I’ll Cover You is such a cute soft mlm song and Take Me Or Leave Me has such a terrible message but goddamn is it catchy.least favorite song: there’s this one song in the end where Roger sings to Mimi the song he has been working on during the entire show and it’s somehow the worst and most boring song ever created..? favorite character: THEY ARE ALL KINDA AWFUL PEOPLE TBH but by design, Angel is the manic pixie dream girl with least of an arc and somehow therefore the most likable?

EDIT: the homeless woman in the movie who tells off Mark for using her misery as art without even wanting to give her a fucking dollar so she can live.least favorite character: MARK CAN CHOKEOTP: I mean Collins and Angel are pretty good & soft until DEATHBROTP: I have no idea why these people are friends with each other in the first place to be completely honest??NOTP: Does “I want Mark to end up alone and miserable bc he’s a fcking dick” count as a NOTP or……?song I didn’t like at first but now do: okay. this only goes for the musical, not the movie, but Over The Moon. It’s so wonderfully pastiche and some of the actresses play it up so hilariously Bad that it becomes good again.song I used to like but now don’t: hmm. La Vie Boheme.. because.. listening to the actual lyrics.. it’s just.. WHAT?! They praise.. yogurt and yoga as.. counter culture..?? WHAT IS THIS SONG??is the fandom annoying?: i have no idea because i do not venture there tbhdo I read/write fanfic for this show?: nope!favorite non-sung line:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯favorite lyric: “because reason says I should’ve died three years ago” is one hell of a gut-punch line. overall rating out of 10: instead of a rating, I’m gonna link you to Lindsay Ellis’ incredible video essay on Rent called “Look Pretty and Do As Little As Possible” because even though she says she hates Rent, still has a very nuanced and fair analysis that really gets to the core of all the issues I have with this story, even though I can acknowledge that it has done some good things. She phrases it a million times better than I ever could. Yes, it’s 40 minutes long, but trust me when I say it’s the best thing you’ll see this entire week.

Wicked

the first song from this show I heard: defying gravity probably lbrdo I own the cast album?: Again, only in the Spotify playlist, but to be quite honest (don’t murder me) the original cast recording underwhelms me :/favorite song: this depends on the mood really! But, I’ve noticed I always tend to Sit Up as the first notes of No Good Deed blasts into my ears. God i love that song. Also, Thank Goodness. I. Yes. ALSO!!! It’s technically not a song, but the moment in the Ozdust Ballroom where Glinda and Elphaba are bonding, and you only hear that piano… WHEN AM I GONNA GET A HIGH QUALITY AUDIO OF THAT LITTLE BIT WICKED MUSICAL!?!?! least favorite song: WONDERFUL. at this point i just tend to skip that scene. it. It’s a good song the first time you listen to it, but becomes such a drag so fast.favorite character: at this point in my mind Glinda and Elphaba just count as one person right? cool? cool.least favorite character: The Wizard. Ugh. Manipulative Asshole. And I’m gonna say “The Wasted Character Potential For Fiyero”OTP: i mean… c’mon.. are we.. do i even have to - G E L P H I EBROTP: in the actual musical? Not really.. anyone? In my version of the musical: Gelphie&Fiyero and Elphaba&Fiyero. In the book: Elphaba&Boq are a fucking delight.NOTP: any ship involving glinda and elphaba being with someone but each other i guess?song I didn’t like at first but now do: I mean, I liked most songs the first go, so I guess Something Bad. It’s mostly the mysterious music that I really dig and the transition music after it.

Also I just wanna say that March of the Witch Hunters is such a banger ensemble song. I’m always so excited that we get to keep that momentum NGD has built up and get to stay in it just a little bit longer before we go to the soft and beautiful For Good.

song I used to like but now don’t: hmm I guess Wonderful because as explained before? And kinda… well I actually don’t dislike Defying Gravity, but I’m kinda upset that people only seem to focus on that song? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good song. But it’s a shame it’s the main focus bc there are so many other good things & songs in this show.is the fandom annoying?: the fandom is so interesting, bc at the core, it’s really small, but because it’s such a well-known musical, some posts can suddenly EXPLODE even though the tag updates maybe on average 3 times a day? and that’s generous. So that’s really weird and interesting. But since at it’s core it’s small, it’s really nice and well-behaved. I’ve talked with a ton of people in the fandom and it’s really nice and lovely, and not annoying at all! do I read/write fanfic for this show?: YES! shameless self-promofavorite non-sung line: what I love about this show is that the actresses can say certain lines and make them their own, so I wanted to type out all my fav line deliveries, but it became too long and kinda pointless bc you can’t hear it. but yeah.. a LOT of them tbh? the dialogue is sharp in this play.favorite lyric: hmmmm “There are bridges you cross you didn’t know you crossed until you crossed” is just so angsty.overall rating out of 10:  I know I never shut up about Wicked but is it the best musical? No, not really. But I get why it’s still running and why it’s so goddamn big. I love the overall Wicked canon and I love my interpretation of it all, but if I actually had to give the actual musical a rating I’d say a solid 7~7.5..?

#tag games #this is why i shouldn't do tag games #i always feel the need to explain myself #otherwise the answers are so boring?? #anyway going to bed now #please sent me more! #i really don't have the space to talk about musicals and it upsets me #sweet-shakespearean-tomatoes