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astralartefact · 27 days

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Entry 002 - Dragon's Dogma 2 <<Prev: 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

Synopsis

A prolonged camping adventure with the loyalest boys and a mage prodigy who gives me sass only often enough to make me paranoid she has the evil guy disease that kills everybody (might just be puberty)

Special Shoutout to whoever I stole Zoe the Beastren Healer Girl from (Your character name is/was Melina), she was a regular fixture of my party and is mine now.

How much did I know before playing?

I didn't play the first one, but I kept up with the marketing somewhat, and I was hyped to finally play it.

Did I like it more than I expected?

I fully expected to like it and I did. From what I've seen from the game before I bought it I knew its approach to an Open World would be my kind of game - and it was.

But seeing the discourse (and we will get to the discourse) this feels like a daring statement to make lol

Since I liked it, here's what I hated about it

Okay, this is the weirdest criticism to have about a game I completed in 113 hours, but it wasn't big enough. When I unknowingly made my way to Battahl and realized it wasn't as big as the other biome my reaction was a sad o: face and that feeling stuck around until the end, everything was just "I wouldn't mind if this was bigger :/" and it did impact my enjoyment of Battahl as a whole (Agamen not as much).

The game as a whole is really cool - I really loved it, I'm having to stop myself from starting a NG+ right now, and I think given an endless stream of new content I could literally play this game forever - and to some degree I feel like its size was calculated pretty well by the devs and shouldn't be bigger (if it was a lot of other minor details would suddenly become much bigger problems) but I guess it feels unexhausted.

I disagree when people say the open world is empty and one note - I personally had a great time exploring the entire map and I think the variety inside of the biomes is realistic and nuanced, I think if they just rethemed what's there into more different, but smaller biomes that wouldn't have done it for me either. The world might not be "new and exciting" everywhere you go, but every space in a given biome has some nuance in its topology and context that makes it stand out from the rest and it really feels like this world could be a real place exactly the way it is.

And since being grounded and 'realistic' is kind of this game's entire deal, having beef with that is to me kind of pointless, that just means you should have researched better what you're buying into (and we'll get to that!)

But I guess it feels like they could have done more, that all of these systems slotting in with each other would have benefitted from more stuff. Take the pawn specializations and classes for example, I think all of them are pretty neat but there aren't that many so running into 'one of that type' doesn't really change anything, especially since situational ones like the Elvish Speakers are coded to appear where you need them and you only "need" them in one specific place so you don't ever really have to think who you take with you. Same with environmental hazards like those water dams.

I guess that's the good thing of being able to expect Capcom to overdo it on DLC - I think adding more stuff like that in for example an expansion would really benefit this game, even though I will say that I think for the game that we have right now, the stuff that is there is enough.

Because in a fit of madness I don't even mean stuff like the enemy variety with that? I thought for the size of the game world the enemy variety was fine, not great but fine, even if it was on the smaller side at least the variety of their placement was really well thought through so I didn't really fight two of the same enemy groups in a row (the only problem i had with the enemies was that the enemy groups spawn way too densely and too frequently, you can't move an inch without aggroing another hassle of a fight and it also happens with paths you just cleared half an hour ago so map movement starts to become a chore at some point)

Finally: Men. But we'll talk about that.

What did this game make me think about?

We can only change the world by wanting to change it :) I love that as a theme, I'm really glad this is becoming a contemporary staple

Specific Impressions that will stick with me

THE TITLE SCREEN BEING DRAGONS DOGMA (NOT 2!) UNTIL THE THING HAPPENS i noticed that and it made me fall in love with the game so much more, it being a stealth remake and how it plays with that is so fcking cool i love that (again, I haven't even played the first one)

The coastal path to Bakbattahl. As I was randomly exploring I was wondering what the red waymarkers along this cave path were, so of course I followed them until at the end of this seemingly endless pilgrimage I finally realised what they were leading to. The entire experience of travelling along the cliffs and having to watch out for the harpies and the griffon was just really beautifully crafted. That whole journey will defo stick with me for a long time.

CHARACTER CREATOR OPEN WORLD RPGS ARE THE BEST Character Creators are my VisualNovel where the general audience seems to think they're cheesy but no, you don't get it, it's just that devs don't use them right because barely anyone has thought about their artistic merit yet. i can add so much visceral character development to my journey by changing hairstyles, adding scars, making my pc more muscular after training a new class, etc.

the day one of these games shaves a pc's head when they're imprisoned or adds scars when losing to a monster instead of a Game Over (all optional ofc people would scream if they forced that on their waifu) without me having to do that on my own is the day i will die happy

Outstanding Audio

The boss themes were cool? I did like the music and didn't just feel ambivalent about it but I couldn't tell you any specific piece :(

Favorite Character

Well, my character and my sweet pawns of course.

Aside from that I really liked Nadinia, even if she didn't get to do all that much, I just really love characters like her.

Also I guess the Smith Girl in Battahl, I liked her :)

Favorite Arc/Story Line

I liked Sven and Ser Menella's quests, but more than anything I loved seeing how doing quests impacted evacuating the cities after being baffled that the quests just ended without a conclusion. So I guess the entire final arc? (btw get good guys, i did the colossus quick kill without the arrow and seeing that pay off afterwards was amazing)

Favorite Set Piece

Travelling to Battahl along the coast

Watching my Pawn fight as the colossus

Everything that had to do with the capital-D Dragon

also having a healer with a child-like voice around and being paranoid about the dragon plague any time she gave me sass (she has like two or three lines out of nowhere that felt very pointed and i was so scared)

Favorite Scene

The ending scene with your pawn turning into the plague dragon. something about that did it for me.

Best Performance (I played with JP voices)

Kakuma Ai of Edelgard fame gave Nadinia such an edge that I really appreciate, she really made that character for me. For some reason I thought she was going to be a well-meaning but helpless pacifist priestess type character and thankfully she was not just that, she knew full well what she was doing while still also kind of being that pacifist priestess.

German Localization Notes

I thought the Localization was great! It fit the setting (I think Vasall is a better term than Pawn, fight me) and there were barely any blatant mistakes (I remember one spelling error and one time I was referred to as female, but that might be a programming error instead)

From what I did understand from the JP Pawn Dialogue I think they changed a bunch from the "original Japanese" though (might be an EN issue though, we don't have our own DE Voice Over so it would make more sense to keep with the 'default' language's text instead of JP) but also I don't really care since 90% of the dialogue is just Pawn Chatter where the phrasing of the content isn't particularly narratively important

--- ENTERING THE PRETENTIOUS SECTION OF THIS ENTRY ---

What about this game gives me Hope for the future of gaming?

This game is so fucking cool. I love this game for how weird it is. The stuff people complain about? Glorious. I love every single thing.

I loved having to have a physical fist fight with the save feature every time I was scared of making the wrong narrative choice. Yeah, it's kind of dumb and annoying, but from the devs' perspective, from the game they wanted to make and the overall vibe they were clearly going for it just makes sense. You're suppossed to roll with your wins and your failings - and if you can just always win then what's the point. You're not supposed to save scum as "un-quality of life" that may be and this is one way to kind of limit it to preserve the vibe they were going for.

Only having one save state and limiting character makeovers (they already fixed this one) makes sense because you're not supposed to play this game 'in parallel', you're supposed to play this game in succession - in a cycle, even. Your character isn't supposed to suddenly be an entirely different character, you're supposed to connect with the story through this character that is yours and to that goal, continually letting you change them completely would hinder that.

And since clearly this is actually a stealth remake of the first one I also really respect them not changing the shitty Beloved system? For some reason it's much more interesting to me that they kept it exactly the way it was, despite being stupid.

I guess I love stuff like this because it forces you to interact with the game as a piece of software engineering to make your own goals in this game come true. And yes, to me that's a good thing, because Video Games are pieces of software engineering - They're pretty much the only type of media that can do this.

Let me, the person who needs to make Self-Inserts for Maximum Escapism, be the one to tell you that I'm with Brecht when I say that in all sincerity, Immersion is a skill issue. Fuck Immersion as an aspirational trait of a piece of art. Especially capital-G Gamers have no clue what they're talking about when they use the word Immersion - and I get to say that, because I know that Presence exists beside the two popular buzzwords Immersion and Suspension of Disbelief - and this shit gives me so much Presence, I can't even begin to tell you.

I had to read the phrase "This game not maintaining 30FPS is breaking my immersion" about a game that made me pick up a child that had developed a crush on me, run in circles until my stamina ran out in order to drop it in a way that makes it crash into the stone floor, spraying blood everywhere because it was the only way I could make the child like me less - and I had to do that multiple times all so I could ensure I wouldn't end up kissing a child in the ending.

And while doing that, I did think "It's stupid the game works like this", I did feel fucking bad for the child I was abusing all so I could romance... well I romanced a random guy off the street because the men in this game were kind of boring - and yet in hindsight I was completely immersed into what I was doing because I was unironically engaging, grasping for agency in the systems put in place by the game's developers. I am rummaging through the rules of this universe all to spite god by making a child hate me a little bit more - and if that's not in the spirit of Dragon's Dogma II then I don't know what is. (this is only like 20% sarcasm btw)

To say it like this: Video Games aren't just to immerse you into a story better. Arguments about Immersion also always make me wonder what people think books are doing. But Dragon's Dogma 2 certainly is first and foremost a video game.

It feels like the people working on this game thought about what they were doing and during my journey through this world I got the feeling of understanding what exactly the devs went for in all aspects of this piece of software engineering - It's not trying to be a movie, it's not trying to be a book. It's trying and succeeding to be what it is and I really appreciate that.

I just wish there was EVEN MORE of it!!!

What about this game makes me scared for the future of gaming?

It grinds my gears that this keeps coming up so here it is, another round of idiot Gamers making me defend capitalism for something it didn't cause:

It's great that you all have awakened to corporations squeezing you out of your money, that's very anti-capitalist of you and I applaud that communist thinking (i'm not a communist but a lot of angry Gamers aren't either so let's make them mad by calling them that)

And yet I'm so sorry to inform you that even in Utopia people would still try to scam you.

It's not a Video Game Company's fault that you believed what they told you. I'm empathetic that it's hard, annoying and most of all stupid that we have to interact with a media landscape that is constantly trying to scam us for our money and attention, but even a genuine and well-intended artist is going to sugarcoat their product - so why would you ever believe what CAPCOM of all people is telling you without seeing physical proof first?

And even if they're point blank lying - which, straight up, for the most part Itsuno wasn't - if someone tells you they will sell you a green mug and the mug they hand you is red and you ask "but this is red" and they say "no it's green" and then you still buy it and at home you're upset that it is indeed red then you're the idiot!!! Yes, why did that person tell you that? Did they think you`re stupid? Why is Capitalism uniquely rewarding scamming people like this? All valid questions to seek answers for! But you can fall to the ground crying capitalism all you want, it's still your own foolishness that caused this!!! Don't buy shit if you're not adequately sure that you will enjoy the product!!

You have to - and will always have to - make your own informed decisions about what you invest both your money and your time into. 95% of problems that not only this but pretty much any video game discourse these days is critizising could be solved by simply researching what kind of game you would be buying into before buying it. And in this case, you have luck, this game existed before and you can try that game out for literally 5€! You know how I knew that? Because I fucking googled it.

And you can too! Thanks to YouTube, Twitch, some shitty wikis and some good ones it has never been easier to identify if a game is up to your standards before buying it - you just can't do that before the game is even out, which is why Pre-Orders are such a big problem to some people (I personally don't care, because I have to think about what I'm doing with my money anyways)

So just. Think about what you're spending money on before spending money on it! Maybe try being poor and having just enough money to buy one game every three months - that taught me to do that!

But with that out of my system let me get to the other problem this game has, one I think is really fucking annoying and stupid and really the core of my grievances with the game and not just the audience....

The Ramble Section where I get to actually talk about what I thought about

To introduce the second? third? Ramble topic of the day, here are a few moments from my playthrough that we will use to illustrate my main "problem" with this game:

I, a gay man, was forced to kiss the Sexy BrothelLady for literally no reason.

When daring to have a full male party, my main pawn mentioned that he hoped I wouldn't make not having women in the party a habit. (paraphrased)

You can buy a very revealling Mage Armor in Battahl. Naturally, after reaching Battahl around 75% of Pawns I encountered were barely dressed women.

I guess to add to that, the only black skinned Pawn I ever saw was one that Capcom made. Isn't that heart-warming.

I don't even know if there are romanceable men on the level of BrothelLady (I'm too lazy to look her name up, that's what she gets for sexual assault) or Ulrika

The Yeti Monkey Ogre gets horny for female pawns which felt very weird. I don't think there's an equivalent mechanic for male characters.

The Beloved Animations are all expressedly feminine. And I love me femininity, but it says a lot about who the devs thought would more likely be beloved and who would do the loving.

There's a summoning stone that only shows you petite women (which isn't necesarily bad, but it did raise my eyebrows)

imagine FPS being the only thing between you and that oh so hallowed immersion.

I guess to put it this way: For most of its runtime, the game gets away with pretending to be Gender Agnostic. Your Beloved can be Everyone even children! There's almost no mechanical difference between genders! You could argue that there is no intended demographic in mind for this game - that everybody can play it and therefore it's made for everyone.

Until, of course, one of those things I mentioned above pops up and serves as a harsh reminder that No! At some point in development, the devs came down hard on "This game was made for heterosexual men and everyone else can just also play it."

And with some of this shit I felt gross about having to witness it and that's really the gist of it.

I remember vividly when my main pawn no homo-ed me about my All Male Party and how just utterly ugly that felt. And I know it was phrased weirdly (at least in german) so maybe it's just me, but it was vague enough that I could interpret it as him saying he needs women in the party so he had something to look at and that's an extremely wild and frankly inappropriate thing to have your blank canvas NPC Follower say out of fucking nowhere. Like, Imagine being a woman liking men and hearing that.

It's in moments like Wilhelmina's forced kiss (i remembered her name are you proud) where the only reason it happened was that the presumed player would find that shit hot. It's in Ulrika being clearly just romance option Nr.1 and I couldn't just tell her no and continue to do her quests, I had to throw her into a wall every time I saw her to the point I completely avoided her instead of talking to her. I'm pretty sure I missed quests because of that. Like, Imagine being a woman liking men trying to do these quests.

Related, there's also something in them trying to circumvent Depicting Real Racism by transposing it onto the Beastren - which I guess didn't not work, I don't have any big feelings either way, especially since the devs at least tried to keep the cast somewhat diverse; I certainly didn't find it as appalling as whatever FF16 did. But it also makes stuff like Nadinia not being an equivalent Romance option despite being on the cover of the game questionable, because now it's like... Yeah, that was a decision you made for a reason. You didn't think your presumed audience would find the cat lady hot, right? (I certainly did and I'm gay)

I also mentioned before having strong feelings about Character Creators - because I do feel they are a very, very strong tool to make your own story telling part of the game in a tangible way. And sure, I use them mainly for self-inserts, sue me, but what I'm trying to say is:

It feels crazy to have 75% of Pawns I run into be someone's waifu and they all look one certain way. Other than that people either make some joke pawn or a bad version of a popular character - but from what I've seen the waifu they can presumably goon over was certainly the biggest pawn demographic by far.

And I know that gets into "Let people have fun!" territory, but it definitely lessened mine and I'm not even one of the people this is about. It was less fun for me not just meeting somebody's unique pawn, but - well. An Army of Women Objects. Not even objectified women - these are Women born as Objects. (and yes while these women aren't real, the treatment of fictional women is still indicative of and impactful on real women - so yeah, you can objectify women even if they're fictional) A world supposed to be filled with myriad unique pawns is uniquely filled with Women Objects - and given what the Pawns are in universe, that's kind of massively fucked up and every time the Game acknowledges that - by including very revealing armor, making it easier to filter certain types of women and by telling me to recruit more women because why would you ever have an all male party??? - it just feels gross.

Again. Try imagining being a woman that dares to like men. I keep repeating it because it feels like nobody thought about this niche group of people that's just about 50% of the entire population on earth.

And I guess I can't fault the devs too much about it, for the most part I actually really like the female characters in this game (nadiniaaaaaa) and the Pawns they themselves made are pretty diverse so clearly they cared at least a little about it; I certainly didn't find what they did as appalling as whatever FF16 did. I can only side eye them for knowing that all of this would happen and kind of enabling their players to do that.

It's just sad. It's sad and it's gross and an active reminder that despite it all a majority of people still treats women, 50% of humanity, like property, deliberately or not. It stains a really enjoyable video game with interesting mechanics to think about that I really connected with - and all because capital-G Gamers and "standard" masculinity is fucking gross and yet the devs either didn't think that far or think that's fine and good and dandy.

#atarasegamediary #dragons dogma 2 #for your interest and i know you care very much #cyan is actually possessed by a dullahan (bc i lost against them so many times it's _character development_)#giving him a weird blue eye to signify possession stuff like that is what i'm talking about #also a great excuse to give him the lance job bc the magic looks similar #that's the kind of shit character creators let you pretend is a real part of the story #it's more than just a one off tool to make a character that looks like x or y #it's a tool to insert your own creativity onto the entire game

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nny11writes · 3 years

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For we will raise you, in safety and peace

Okay, tumblr ate the first attempt at this post, hopefully it doesn’t devour this one as well! Here’s the deal, I can’t seem to figure out a good ending for this fic to save my life and I don’t want it to languish in the pile of unfinished wips. So I’m going to post what I have here on tumblr to at least get it out there somewhere. If anyone has suggestions for an ending I am all ears! HUGE shoutout to @venn364 for helping me figure this fic out to this point and for helping me Horde-ify hush a by baby!

Rating: Teen (for some cursing) Category: F/F/F Relationship(s): Glitradora (Glimmer/Catra/Adora) Characters: Glimmer, Catra, Adora Warnings: None apply, this is a fluff fic Additional Tags: Multiple PoVs, fluff, happy fic, happy ending, crushes, idiots in love, dorks in love, young children, Catra deals with the curse of being cute, Adora is a massive dork but what else is new, Glimmer tries to flex on her crushes by singing, lullaby, hush a by baby, post war, post canon Summary: During the post-war reconstruction of Plumeria, Glimmer volunteers herself and voluntells her crushes to take care of the local children to keep them out from under foot. She just, didn’t expect the Horde to require childcare as part of their regular duties and rotation. Or Three Sapphics watch one another interacting with young children and go, “Well guess I’m somehow more in love, cool cool cool.”

Adora and Catra looked at one another and shrugged. “Yeah okay.”

Glimmer was relieved, don’t get her wrong, but that was…not exactly what she’d expected. “Just like that? That simple?”

It wasn’t like she’d expected them to just hop on board with her, even if she’d wanted this to all pan out.

Catra rolled her eyes, a bit too theatrically thanks, before answering, “Well, I mean, sucks to be doing Cadet chores again, but, whatever. Just a buncha kids.”

“I feel like I’m missing something,” Glimmer grumbled, rubbing a hand at her neck. “You’re not trying to act too cool, and you’re not freaking out enough.”

They shared another confused look before Adora spoke up. “I mean, why would I? We’ve done a bunch of rounds at the Infant Pods, more than our fair share in fact.” That last part she said with a pointed look at her oldest friend.

Catra stretched lazily, “I will not apologize.”

“Point is, we can do this. It’s pretty simple over all, especially with you there as a third!”

Glimmer laughed, “Wait. Hang on, seriously? I’ve never babysat before but you two have?”

“Really? Weird. But, uh, yeah. Everyone in the Horde has some child rearing experience, it’s literally part of your Cadet chores and rotation.”

The galaxy must be on it’s side right now. The Horde, the EVIL Horde, had enforced babysitting chores. “Why?”

Adora shrugged, “Well someone has to make sure they’re clean and fed, doing their homework-”

“Not destroying property or getting in dangerous situations before we could send them to the meat grinder-”

“Keeping them out from underfoot, and getting their energy out too.”

“Also the whole, sometimes babies just die when you don’t, like, hold them enough thing. ...What? Did you think Hordak was at the Pods rocking them to sleep?” Catra laughed.

It certainly was an image. Glimmer giggled as she pictured Hordak overwhelmed by a literal wave of babies. “No, I just never thought about it I guess. You’ll have to teach me.”

They both grinned and Glimmer felt her heart skip a beat. It was, look, don’t judge, it was a really, really good look on them, okay?

It only took a few minutes to arrive at the temporary nursery Perfuma had set up. While Plumeria was still being cleaned up, she’d wanted a safe place for the children to go, and only needed a few extra hands to help as she pulled her subjects to help redesign their homes. Not that she’d put it like that. Something about syncing their harmonies while reconnecting with their innermost roots? The point was that Glimmer had offered to help mostly to help and partially to avoid another extremely long and boring meeting, but one teleporting queen with no childcare experience was not ideal. Perfuma had been the one to suggest Catra and Adora, seeing as the reconstruction really relied more on Perfuma regrowing the homes in this particular space.

So, they were working with what they had. And apparently that meant Horde soldiers. Experienced Horde soldiers who knew what to do with kids. Weird!

When they arrived, it was chaos.

Catra couldn’t help the small grimace she wore, she’d never been fond of IPD. Kids are loud, they don’t have boundaries or respect for other’s boundaries either. She doesn’t know how many times some toddler or Junior Cadet had petted her or pulled her tail and ears with their mysteriously sticky little hands while covered in snot. But she could also say that the one good thing about it was, without fail, some baby was going to think you were the hottest shit ever. And it had done wonders for her low self esteem as a Cadet to know that she’d always collect a gaggle of kids who everyone claimed were impossible to handle doing exactly what she wanted.

It had actually been kind of hilarious out in the Crimson Waste to use some of the tactics she’d learned in the IP against grown gangsters and thugs.

Catra could also say that the very next best thing about it was watching Adora either slowly unravel into a total mess or watching Adora get all the other kids under her thumb. Not that Adora would think of it like that, the goody two shoes, but kids seemed to naturally either love the blonde or desire nothing more than to destroy her.

Especially at the time, Catra could relate.

She was actually kind of interested to do this now just to see Adora go at it again.

And also Glimmer apparently had no experience with kids and Catra would kill to watch that skiff wreck. No, ugh, she had promised to help hadn’t she? Alright, no watching that skiff wreck unless it happened before she could intervene.

She snickered a little as, just like she used to, Adora gave the attention claps that none of these particular kids would know. Embarrassingly, the old rhythm still made Catra’s back straighten a hair just thanks to the amount of times she’d heard it.

Adora’s voice rang loud and clear across the little fenced in area, “Atten-shun!”

The kids mostly stopped, but Catra had a feeling that was due to an adult shouting and not out of their training. Did rebellion kids have training? They had to get some kind of education for sure. Huh. Probably should look into that, like, now that it was post war and all.

“Hello, salutations, and greetings!” Adora started her old spiel as if she’d never stopped, putting on her ‘force captain’ voice which was almost a mockery more than anything else. Not that Adora realized that. “I am Adora, this is Catra, and this is Glimmer. Today we will be watching, caring, sharing, and not botching a wonderful day of enrichment with you. Starting now we will do our very best to educate, captivate, and celebrate without need to castigate! It is time to have fun and run, uh, under the sun! Can I get a hoo-ra?”

The part about their newly acquired sun was a nice touch, Catra mental gave Adora extra points for finally having learned to change it on the fly. Catra weakly lifted a fist to mutter ‘hoo-ra’ with a few confused kids. Oof. Rough, but not unexpected. These ankle biters hadn’t been trained to respond promptly and loudly to Horde commands.

Yet it still had about the same effect. The children were already split down the middle looking at Adora like she was a complete idiot or like she was the best thing ever. Soon more of them would think she was the best thing ever than not, kids loved Adora’s canned speech. It always got a few laughs. Kids were easily entertained by someone clearly putting on a show and rhyming.

Adora put on an over the top look of bewilderment, putting her fists on her hips in some sort of quasi-power pose before asking, “What kind of hoo-ra was that? I want you to shout from deep in your lungs, you won’t sound dumb when it’s all in good fun! Now can I get a HOO-RA?”

Catra gave a slightly more enthusiastic call, and was delighted when Glimmer gamely screamed her head off and then blushed as the kids stared at her, because they had still not shouted. Alright, this had already paid off! Nothing better that watching Glimmer blush like that.

Adora was smiling warmly at the queen, that was always a good look on her. “I SAID HOO-RA!”

This time they managed to get most of the brats on board. A whole army of kids no taller than her waist who were thrilled to scream, a few even did it more than once. It was kind of nostalgic.

“THAT’S what I call a call! I am floored by this horde-” Adora’s eyes widened in panic as she tried to pivot her pre-written speech for a second time. “-o-of wards! Floored! I am floored!”

Aaaand twice was one too many alterations. As much fun as it would be to watch Adora fall apart over it, Catra knew it was mean. And she was trying to, you know, to be less mean.

“Ca-Adora,” wow this was harder than she’d thought. She hadn’t almost called Adora a Cadet in years. “Will be working with any of you who’d like to play a singing and marching game. Line up in front of Adora if you want to join.”

Catra grabbed Glimmer’s hand to pull her forward, which really was only for the benefit of getting to hold Glimmer’s hand. “Anyone who does not want to play a game can join us, we will be taking care of the infants so it’ll be quieter.”

She was not surprised when most of the children flocked to play. There were always a few quiet ones or nervous ones who would hang back, and she was counting on it. Sure enough four kids shuffled their way instead of towards Adora, who was already sorting her little platoon into rank and file, teaching them a quick sound off to learn their names.

Catra motioned between her and Glimmer, “You know our names, what are yours?” The kids shifted awkwardly, looking at one another to start. Catra smirked. “If you don’t want to say I will give you a nickname. For instance, this is now Sparkles.”

Glimmer glared at her, but Catra didn’t stop or let her get a word in edgewise. She pointed at the first kid with glasses, “You can be Specs, short for specification.” A bold faced lie if she’d ever told one. “Stripes, I like your shirt!” Less of a lie. “Flower Power just like Princess Perfuma,” she nodded to the boy with a flower crown. The last kid was nervously shifting hoof to hoof, “And Two Step you got some fancy looking moves.”

“And what do you all think we should call Catra?” Glimmer asked, grinning evilly, as if the kids wouldn’t just suggest kitty or fluffy or whiskers. Maybe tails if someone was feeling creative.

“Kitty!”

Catra chuckled, it was like clockwork. “How about Big Cat? It’s cooler than Kitty!” They nodded gamely to the change. “Cool. Now, does anyone want to help me with the babies? We just need to hold them.”

That was how Catra found herself leaning back against a tree with an infant sleeping on her chest after she’d situated Glimmer and the quartet. All while snickering at some of the concerned looks being shot their way as Adora got the platoon marching and singing. If they weren’t gonna get their asses in gear to manage all the hyper kids, then they could suck it up. Besides, it wasn’t even that intense of a song.

“I think that learning is cool!” The kids echoed after Adora. “Which is why I will stay in school!”

It was schlocky and dorky, if she’d been over there she’d have died of embarrassment already.

Still, Catra couldn’t help but melt a little as Adora exaggerated a high march and then kids behind her did basically whatever they wanted as she marched them around the nursery. It was nice. Even if it made Adora look really dumb, it also made her look happy. Something Catra hadn’t seen a lot of from her in years. Oh no, she was getting mushy about this now?

Disgusting. She needed a distraction stat.

“Anyone have a good story?” Catra asked and after a beat of silence, promptly ignored the kids as they started almost talking over each other to tell something about their day or who knows what. Thankfully Glimmer seemed interested even if a little stiff and awkward. Catra was grateful that her fur hid a sudden blush as she watched Glimmer holding a baby and being enthusiastically engaged in the kids' stories.

Wow.

She gets away from the Horde for less than a year, and now she’s getting sappy over Sparkles.

Gross.

Adora, of course, had a plan. A good one with details and everything!

She was using her patented IPPA (thankfully, things had to be going pretty bad for her to resort to Infant Pod Plan B) and so far things had gone well. She’d taught her platoon to march, even got them to make up some rhymes to sing for it (even if she’d had to backtrack after one of the boys said ‘butts’ and everyone then started to just scream sentences with little sense ending with ‘butts’). After a bit of that she got them doing some basic exercise with her. Jumping jacks and running, she’d then start a game of charge and was already wincing in sympathy pains as some of the kids hurled themselves full speed at the enemy team only to fold in half around their linked arms. Still, the point was to give them free reign here to lose their minds and wear out their bodies a little in preparation for a well earned nap or quiet play time.

After making sure that Catra had eyes on her group, Adora left to hunt down water for everyone, and maybe spent a little time making heart eyes across the field.

Catra, despite what she thought, was pretty good with kids. Especially little infants. Between her fluff, heat, and purrs she was an instant baby soother. Adora would know, she was once the only big baby that Catra would soothe the same way. When they’d been younger, Catra used to lose her temper during IPD, but the older they got the more she’d pull it together. There had always been something heartwarming about watching Catra sit down with a kid who was upset and listen to them intently.

Then there was Glimmer. Gosh, she’d been so nervous going in, but seemed to be quickly becoming a favorite. Because Glimmer always listened to people, no matter their age, and her high energy responses appeared to be winning her fans. The more she integrated with the kids, the more she relaxed too. And there was something absolutely mind blowing about watching her bounce a little baby in her arms, while gasping in genuine delight at something a kid had scribbled into the dirt with a stick.

Adora didn’t even blush, didn’t feel a lick of shame as she quietly got affirmation that yes, girls.

“Ew,” one of the kids snickered after finishing their water, looking right at her before making a face.

She smiled, shrugging and offered her best, worldly advice. “Girls are great.”

“Ew.” They repeated before giggling and skipping away to their friends.

Whether they eventually agreed with her, liked boys instead, like everyone, or even no one, Adora felt very assured in her assessment of wow girls pretty, so she let it slide.

Later, standing at the barrel and handing out gourds of water or helping kids re-apply their protective balms (the sun was nice, but the sun could apparently burn you which was insane), she did another check. Taking note of any particularly worn out kids to send over to Catra’s group, and was very pleased that no one seemed to be really injured. Man, this was way easier than manhandling Recruits who were about to be Junior Cadets. Maybe she could do this more often? Without all the jockeying for power and praise it was actually fun.

After another thirty minutes whizzed by according to her internal clock, Adora decided it was time to start her platoon’s cool down for water and snacks. Maybe a nap after that. It was all smooth sailing!

Adora managed to make eye contact with Catra, flashing a quick few hand signs they’d made up when they were eight and almost lived in the pods between Adora’s clumsiness and Catra’s random bursts of high energy. Catra nodded, both hands occupied as she bottle fed one of the infants, and Adora almost died. First of cuteness, because Catra was looking so cute! But also from laughter because Glimmer’s tongue was sticking out between her teeth in concentration as she carefully fed another infant. And also because she looked super cute doing it!

What a sight! It took her another minute to realize she was just standing there staring at them with a horrifically soft smile on her face. And Catra was staring back with an equally mortifying soft look. And Glimmer was now looking between them with her own embarrassingly tender look.

So this is how I die, public affection.

For some reason this was the thing that set her off. Blushing as red as her jacket, Adora pivoted around to call the platoon to get some snacks and more water. Which, considering most of them were either still singing or making up marching songs, took a little bit to organize.

The snack and water break had been decently timed, they had just finished burping the last of the babies when Adora called all the kids over. Catra waited with Glimmer until everyone else had something to eat, before mingling as best she could. It was more second nature to keep her head on a swivel, making sure no kids were making a jailbreak and no one was beating someone else’s face in. Although that probably wasn’t a concern on the Rebellion side. Maybe she’d have to rescue a kid from suffocating under a bunch of hugs?

She shrugged and got a gourd of water, barely finishing it before Two Step tugged at her hand. They’d only gotten more energetic the longer they’d been helping, so she wasn’t even surprised when they asked, "Can I pet your fluff!?"

Catra sighed heavily. This is what she got for wearing a crop top around children. She turned to look at the Two Step and smiled as best she could while also dying inside. If she didn’t let it happen following her own rules, many kids would simply find a way to make it happen anyways. Better to get it out of the way and without sticky hands. Seriously what do kids even do that makes their hands that sticky? "Sure, but only if I can touch your antlers, they look fuzzy."

They almost stabbed her in the stomach with said nubbly antlers in their excitement, apparently oblivious for at least a moment about how fragile they were. Two Step was still wiggling around the way they had the whole afternoon as they rushed to explain, "They are! They’re new and growing in bigger and my dad says that someday they’ll be HUGE like his!"

She ran a few fingers carefully along the warm velvet and nodded, it was softer than she’d actually expected it to be, and it almost seemed like she could feel the blood pumping in them? Or maybe her brain was messing with her? Either way, weird. "Neat. Your turn kiddo."

Catra did her best to not groan in annoyance when the girl simply leaned forward to rub her face on the fluffiest part of her belly.

"You said pet."

"I am petting!"

"Petting is done with your hands, not your face."

"Says who?"

Well shit, had her there. “...alright, well played.”

She glared as the trademark a high pitched whistling sound of cooing alerted her to Glimmer and Adora looking at her with hearts in their eyes and sparkles around their faces. Not literally, but she could picture it. The traitors. She could see Glimmer mouthing the words so cute and groaned. She was not cute! Ugh!

“Okay, I think that’s enough.”

Two Step grumbled but let go. “Thanks!” And with that they skipped away to hang out with the other kids.

Oh yeah, definitely time to put the kids down for a nap if they could.

It had taken longer that Glimmer expected to calm down the kids. A small handful of them went tearing off around the field cackling like loons as Catra easily loped after them on all fours. Which of course resulted in more kids wanting to get chased for some reason, shrieking in delight each time Catra put on a hair more speed to tap their arms or legs. Eventually even they were exhausted and fell panting into the grass for Adora and her to watch while Catra continued herding. It was adorable and Glimmer was never, ever gonna let her live down her afternoon of being a sheep dog. If only Bow or Entrapta were here to take a picture!

Glimmer reluctantly left her post of watching and jeering at ‘Big Cat’ to help Adora get the youngest ones situated and sleeping rolls or blankets laid out. For the ones who refused to take a nap (whether because they weren’t tired or wanted to pretend they weren’t tired), Glimmer asked around to find a few decks of cards for them to use. She wrangled a promise from each group to be quiet so their friends could sleep, and by the time she’d finished that it was tempting to take her own nap.

Adora was efficiently sorting kids into sleeping spaces, and Glimmer smiled a bit at the way she let pairs and groups just pile up together. Having seen the impossible looking ways Adora and Catra could be found tangled up after a nap, she felt pretty confident that they knew what they were doing.

When Catra finally arrived with the last two kids, both of whom she carried under her arms as they giggled, Glimmer was grateful for the chance to relax a little with her friends. She nudged Adora’s side as they passed and whispered, “Maybe afterwards you can use She-Ra? You know, give them a climbing gym or swing them around.”

Adora blinked rapidly before breaking out in a huge grin and did a little over the top flexing before they made their way over to sit with Catra. And for a few minutes they sat in a peaceful silence, enjoying the sounds of the forest and leaning against one another.

“Pssst,” Stripes rolled over to look at them, making huge puppy dog eyes before asking, “Sing us a lullaby?”

Glimmer’s eyes sparkled as she turned to watch Adora and Catra apparently debate the issue, because hello! Getting to hear them sing lullabies! They rapidly signed back and forth, faces squashing and stretching as they added emphasis to the conversation before they turned and nodded.

“Okay,” Adora said softly, “but you can’t laugh, we only know Horde songs.”

“The Horde had songs?” A little boy asked, popping up from his blanket with a huge smile.

“Yeah we did. To be fair, they’re not uh,” Adora faltered and quickly looked at Catra, which to be fair Glimmer hadn’t considered that the songs they knew might be inappropriate. She quickly decided that she also didn’t really care.

“Adults probably wouldn’t like them here.” Catra supplied with a mischievous grin, apparently knowing that the kids would all be desperate to hear them now.

“Catra!” Adora hissed in what was probably supposed to be a whisper.

“I want to hear!” Glimmer added fuel to the fire and snickered at the look of betrayal on Adora’s face. “What? I do!”

She threw her arms in the air before huffing in her fake annoyed voice, “Fine, I’ll sing a song!”

There was a moment before Adora shakily started to sing both a very familiar tune set to very different lyrics.

Hush-a-bye baby, your crying will cease For we will raise you, in safety and peace If the walls crumble, there’s no need to bawl We’ll burn the villains, princess and all

Glimmer sputtered, accidentally ending it before it even started, not just because the lullaby included a line about burning rebellion citizens to death including princesses. But also because her mother used to sing this to her! “Wait, wait, wait, that’s- that’s not how that song goes!”

“Wha- yes it is!” Adora huffed, arms crossing as she blushed, “I said you couldn’t be mean!”

“First of all, you said I couldn’t laugh and I didn’t! Secondly,” Glimmer cleared her throat to sing her version. She’d always loved singing, even took lessons when she was younger before deciding she’d rather do it for fun. But what was the point of being able to sing flawlessly under pressure if not to flex on your crushes?

Rock-a-bye baby, thy cradle is green; Father's a nobleman, mother's a queen; And Buckley’s a washer, who wears a gold ring; And Tambour’s a drummer, who drums for the king.

Not that she got any further than Adora did before being interrupted as well.

“Ew, it’s all princessy!” Catra jeered playfully getting a few giggles from the kids.

“Uh, yeah, my mom sang it to me when I was a baby!”

“Gross. Ours is better!”

Adora laughed nervously, apparently unsure what to do as their play fight went down in front of a room full of impressionable children. Which, really, was her own fault for not expecting it.

Glimmer puffed up and leaned forward, tapping Catra on the nose just to be a brat before issuing the challenge she knew would get results. “Prove it!”

Ah, the good old stand by of “prove it”, as equally effective as a double dog dare!

So Catra, looking genuinely affronted, took a breath and sang in a wholly and unfairly good voice.

Hush-a-bye baby, your crying will cease For we will raise you, in safety and peace If the walls crumble, there’s no need to bawl We’ll burn the villains, princess and all

Baby is drowsing, valiant and brave With Hordak’s power, disorder we’ll stave Though cadet’s sleeping, her dreams we all share For order and harmony’s, our duty to bear

Hush-a-bye baby, do not you fear Never mind, baby, your squad is right here Strong little fingers, but eyes must shut tight Stay sound asleep now, until morning’s light

“People sang to you as babies about Hordak’s power and burning people?” Glimmer asked, both perplexed at the Horde-ified version and slightly disturbed. No wonder some of their soldiers bought the Evil Horde’s propaganda if this was what they were taught from the cradle!

“Glimmer, I love you, and I say this with as much respect as I can,” Catra said without an ounce of respect in her body or soul, “We grew up in the Fright Zone under the eyes of commanding officers of the Evil Horde. What did you think they sang to us about?”

Well shit, had her there.

#Glimmer #Adora #Catra #Glitradora #SPOP #she ra #fanfiction #fanfic #dorks in love is just *chef kiss*#the Horde sings lullabies to their babies #surprisingly familiar but wildly different lullabies #halp this fic won't let me wrap it up in a satisfying manner so I'm throwing it into the wind to see what falls out #this could absolutely end with them going into a relationship #or it could absolutely end with them just crushing on one another #suggestions are welcome!

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majorxmaggiexboy · 4 years

Text

Finishing up The Grinning Man, 2/2

If the clown doesn’t stop cuddling up to him i’m gonna scream

“The person I feel I can really trust is you, Barkiafahfiughaui” NO BABY NO, NO, UH UH, REWIND, DO-OVER, GO BACK, ABANDON MISSION, TIME OUT, PAUSE, RECONSIDER

MOST IMPORTANTLY, NOPE.

i do think it’s neato how as far as Gwynp knows, he just met this man, who seems to be Basically Nice to him, and that’s enough for him to be like, “I WISH I COULD REPAY YOU YOURE SO KIND WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE TO ME” oh honey

Dea, love, i’m gonna need you to murder some people. Self-Care.

ohhhhhh boi there’s a family throwdown happening, Dea vs. Ursus. i am. Ready.

also tho for real someone pls help this poor Tired man.

is. is Gwynp one of the folks showing up to the fair? the one with the hood on? bc i swear that’s his Very Particular Voice in there somewhere and i think i recognize those leggies as well. :/

Gwynp’s new outfit is GOOD

Gwynp be like “This is my Emotional Support Crouch”

he’s just. dissociating through the whole wedding.

wait so does the actor just keep his mouth open through the entire play or? how does that work?

“top up, my lord?” “*the word ‘no’ but like, gargled*”

“who said that” *lipstick in my valentino white bag voice* “I DID” daveeeeee

i just realized David’s voice sounds like Segundus from JS&MN and now i don’t know what to. *googles* oh thank god

it’s kind of sweet how when Gwynp starts keeling the hell over, Josiana just rolls with it and follows him down

David it’s really not nice to make Gwynp duel you while he’s all floppy like this i mean come on man.

I. this slow-mo bit with the window and the wolf and the Dea and the queen being like D: what. What?

i am now faced with a choice between “she arrived like bc she has a sense of flair and style” and “she arrived like that bc Dea shouldn’t be driving”

all that lead up and he’s just like “yep” and throws it on the floor X’D oh the drama! does throwing the medicine on the floor make the previous dose wear off faster? X’D

.........apparently yes.

nOT HIS FACE DAVID YOU INSENSITIVE TROLL

WAS THAT A THROAT SHOT

DAVID

LEAVE HIM ALONE DAVE HE’S TRYING TO COME OUT OF A DISSOCIATIVE EPISODE

Gwynp: *gets straight up murdered* His dad: “I think the hell not. YEET”

ohe muy gud he prancin. tworl that little blade yass boyo

“aM BI DEX TROUS” stop it dave im gonna cry

Gwynp: *getting straight up murdered* Also Gwynp: *uno reverse card*

DAVID. GETTING STABBED. AND JUST. “AH YES I FINALLY GET TO HAVE MY SWORD BACK” A PERFECT RESPONSE TO GETTING STABBED

“perhaps I may live, wahfgahfdgshgs”

y’all. are. sibliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings

oh my god they’re reenacting it again oh no it’s even Worse :O

ursus you rat bastard D’X

holy bats and cats and hopping frogs HOW is he moving like that? what are his bones made of? slinkies?

Dea you were literally an infant with no say in the matter, i’m pretty sure you get a pass on the entire backstory. not your fault babe.

also pls let him finish saying how he made a terrible mistake bc he’s not wrong and actually did mess up pretty bad with the whole confessing his love for u and then just ditching u in the cart without a holy moly word to go be like “aight” with someone else. like that’s genuinely most likely the only wrong thing he’s ever done, at all, in his life, and he should be allowed to apologize for it.

shoutout to the single paper snowflake that landed on Gwynp and is just chilling right in the middle of his cute little jacket waistcoat thingy. nice.

it’s okay Gwynp, you go ahead and forgive Ursus. I will do the job of thinking of him in dulcet tones of “Dude what the HELL” and slapping the “he’s totally culpable for that” button forever.

he kneeling down and doing the hand-holding and the referring to Dea as the woman he loves and THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF RIGHT THERE

i don’t really understand the phrase “going feral” but the Gwynp/Dea hugs and smooches are happening and. i’m gonna. i already have. Ungodly Screeching.

THEY ADDED. SNUGGLES. TO THE END OF THE KISS. SNUGGLES I TELL YOU.

god that looks like the best hug

Ursus i might fully intend to talk bad about you for the rest of my life but also NO TIRED DAD YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE I FORBID IT

so who gets custody of Mojo

are they walking ON the audience???

this ending music is sick and i want it played at my funeral

i guess the kids got custody of Mojo

#the grinning man #tgm #Well! That Was good!#time to perish.#i may now leave your dashes in peace. <3

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spamela-hamderson · 5 years

Note

This is random but I’d love to know!What are some of your favourite smaller/underrated robron scenes?? 💕

thanks for the qn, sorry I took 47 years to post this!! they’re not all are strictly robron, i got carried away oops

when aaron lost spamela and robert was like “let’s just buy another pig and hope for the best.”

that deleted car scene before they go to sandra’s and how robert didn’t give aaron a chance to get stuck in his own head too much but also wasn’t pushy about it.

aaron drinking orange juice and watching robert’s life with chrissie fall apart in front of him like the petty mf he is. an icon.

this isn’t underrated, i know, but the moment they kissed as legal husbands during wedding 2.0 and everyone clapped and cheered is very special cos that’s what it’s like in my brain every time they smooch and tbh, personally, I would like ed to slap that cheer track onto every kiss. That’s the kind of respect their love deserves.

whEN ROBERT GAVE AARON HIS LAST BREATH. POETIC CINEMA. Except ok it only seems underrated cos it’s so dark and is probably a nightmare to gif.

when angel called robert pathetic and he was like “!! omg!!!

that 1st time robert had seb at the scrapyard and was Struggling and he’d completely cluttered aaron’s desk with baby stuff while leaving his own spotless and aaron didn’t even bat an eyelash

when they were moving robert back into the mill and aaron did his ‘yeah, we should ;) start upstairs ;) why don’t you come ;) up. i’ll help ;) ;)’ face. what a slut.

“precious, is it?”

that whole scene is art ok. rob’s not even helping aaron carry shit, he’s probably spent the whole day flouncing about with his design catalogues, complaining about aaron’s inferior taste, and watching him lift heavy things from behind. what a life.

“I’m just super sensitive about these things ever since I found out my brother had slept with my wife the night before our wedding day.” I mean, wow.

that time during the break up when robert came over to get his phone that he secretly stashed accidentally fell between the cushions and lingered for so long and kept looking back at Aaron all hopeful.

the doughnuts stacked under their wedding cake

that time robert called alex a coward for not fighting for aaron and alex was like “he’s not over you :(” and robert looked like he was barely holding back a sob, fuck, he had to stop and breath for a sec so he wouldn’t immediately break

actually, since we’re already at the xmas episode, when aaron leaves the room after they toast to being bffs and you can hear robert start to cry

oh and aaron fully crying literally 40 seconds after he walks into the room. THEY HADN’T EVEN SAID ANYTHING SAD YET. DID HE JUST START CRYING COS LOOKING AT ROBERT HURT HIS HEART OR SMTH?? WTF IS HAPPENING HERE

the sugdens bringing christmas to robert’s sad little hospital room and making him smile holds a special place in my cold heart

that one time aaron checked his messages at work, and was like “bitch u thought lol” and muted them.

when aaron laughed at robert searching for porn on cain’s phone cos he thinks his bff, robert sugden, is the funniest boy in class

the fact robert didn’t know adam wasn’t actually a murderer but helped him go on the run anyway cos that’s what you do for your best friend’s other best friend I guess.

robert’s super stressed out dancing at the chrobert wedding

that time joe brought his car to the garage while aaron was there and insulted him and then aaron was like ‘well, your hair doesn’t complement your face, so 😎’ ??? ?

EVERY TIME THEY DO THEIR HUSBANDLY NOD OF SILENT COMMUNICATION but special shoutout to the one pre-proposal 2.0 cos I still don’t know how robert knew what he was agreeing to. Is the volume on aaron’s phone just that high?

OH when aaron showed robert liv’s original graduation present and rob laughed cos his husband is hopeless but he finds it endearing anyway cos actually they’re both hopeless, fuck them tbh (also the way the scene cuts to the bear was funny as hell)

and how cute is it that they arranged a quick little meeting outside wishing well just so aaron could show him the gift in the first place? I mean he could’ve just sent a pic but noooo, any excuse to meet up f2f in the middle of the day even though they share a home and a tiny office space and are practically on each other all day every day. I love them.

every time they individually, and as a pair, try to hide

every time aaron tells robert to shut up in his ‘teenager with a crush’ voice

aaron stroking robert’s arm every chance he got, through the entire ‘rebecca goes missing’ storyline

plus robert dramatically marching off with the pram after yelling at everyone in the street

aaron’s bashful shrug at the cemetery when robert tells him he couldn’t have done this without him

when aaron joked about seb emailing robert and then immediately shook his head at himself like ‘ok the accent thing was hilarious, i’m a comedian, but babies sending emails? that’s just silly, what was i thinking.’

The pre-shooting scrapyard scene. I know who I am. (trash.)

ROBERT WANTING TO BUY HALF THE PUB SO HE COULD BE NEAR AARON AND FLIRT WITH HIM ALL THE TIME Urghh

that time they planned to go to a music festival together as exes? cos that’s normal.

robert straight running from aaron post liv’s alcohol poisoning when he realises liv’s told him what happened at HF

post ONS prison scene when aaron walks in with his depression scruff and immediately keeps trying to lock eyes with robert cos he’s so sorry and he needs robert to know and robert can’t look at him cos he feels guilty as fuck AND EVERYTHING IS AWFUL

reunion no. 1 cos I’m a heathen and only recently realised how good it was

them blatantly flirting in front of lawrence and chrissie at HF cos they don’t share a shred of shame between them

aaron not even caring that he got caught staring at robert at the bar, he just carries on staring like an insane person

actually also aaron looking around vanessa’s head so he doesn’t, for one second, lose sight of robert

robert’s sad-dancing once he notices aaron

robert making it a point to place aaron’s pillow back on the sofa after the surrogacy fight and that just annoying aaron even more

aaron’s face after he gets robert to agree to go to the surrogacy meeting with him cos he knew the soft “do it for me uwu” thing would work

“What have you done, Aaron.”

that time robert, fully serious, told a widow that she had it easier cos at least her husband was dead

also that time robert dramatically pushed finn down and yelled at him after seeing aarex at the pub (and then did a bunch of other insane things)

every time they’re not on for a week or more and then one or both of them enter through a door, i dunno, it’s a thing, i have a problem

aaron making sure robert knows that his mouse trap making skills have improved since he was a kid cos he’s a dork and wants to look cool? in front of his husband i guess?? anyway, he’s cute.

aaron thinking robert listening to ‘cheesy teen pop’ is sweet

the fact we narrowly escaped them being orange people in the ONS reveal scenes

that time robert ran belle over with his car and then the dingles thanked him for it

aaron and robert planning to propose on the same day? in the same fucking way?? ? they live in their own romcom world, istg

the porsche taking it upon itself to run out of gas since neither one of these idiots can be trusted to propose otherwise

actually just the v impt v crucial v real role cars play in this relationship. i will shut up about the ot3 when i die.

robert finally taking his ring off juST TO PUT IT IN HIS WALLET, WHERE AARON’S RING HAS BEEN, ALL THIS TIME, CLOSE TO HIM, COS HE’S TRYING BUT IT’S HARD, OK? LEAVE HIM ALONE.

the first time they saw each other after xmas 17, and kept smiling at each other in a very best friendly, non in love manner

aaron being SO ANGRY about having to choose alex over robert

rip alex tbh

aaron going to his mum’s to steal her beer instead of just buying some even though david’s shop is nearer

robert being so proud of aaron for how he handled the boxing thing with jason, like he was fully in awe of him i CAN’T

that time robert was just innocently talking to aaron after he so kindly agreed to watch seb and alex came in like aHA! YOU SNAKE, I KNEW YOU WERE UP TO NO GOOD. and robert was like “:O but no but i’m a real boy now, i would never!!1” Meanwhile aaron’s playing dumb and not saying shit cos he knows he bailed on his boyfriend so fast to hang out with his ex and his baby

the lodge scene, it is pure, unfiltered comedy and deserves to be celebrated more (also paddy is the only one who has actually witnessed their insanity multiple times and survived. he’s powerful.)

#holly #asks #robron

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idothisforfunx · 6 years

Text

It’s Finally Here- Heather’s Top Ten Thighs of Fire Emblem Heroes (As of July 2018)

This is a long post so everything is under the cut! (I went on my computer to make this post!! :O) It took HOURS to sort out and make it look pretty, so please enjoy it!

First of all, I would like to give a shoutout to the people over on @hopusbopus‘s server!!! Without their help and contributions, I would be quite lacking in my information about the thighs of Fire Emblem! (Units like Christmas Chrom and Eldigan have evaded me!) It was hard ranking these beautiful works of art, and even now I’m unsure of some of the positions I’ve given them. But, it’ll do for now!

EDIT: I’ve also noticed I missed quite a few people. I changed the list around last minute quite a few times cause I forgot people/realized stuff, and I even forgot Camoo and Bruno! isujhbisdubflijeb sorry X3

Also.... to a certain few people, and one specific person (Totodiles. That’s all I have to say)..... Please don’t judge me for this list. It had to be done. With all the talk about them on the discord server, and all the screenshots I had piling up.... I had to do it to ‘em.

I would also like to mention that this is a males only list. I may make a female one in the future, but for now, lets get to it!

Honourable Mentions

1. Ares has some damn good thighs. However unfortunately, he just got overshadowed by the people on the list.

2. Jakob actually did make it onto the list! However, last minute as I was writing an honourable mention for the 10th spot, I realized that he had better thighs then dear old Jakob here. So, I quickly switched the two. Sorry Jakob. Your thighs are just a biiiit too shiny and smooth. Nice shape, though.

3. Regular Chrom is our final honourable mention (I have more but I decided against putting them here)! Chrom... we know you have them. We know you have the Good Stuff™. Show it to us. Chrom. Please. Show us. We know.

Now, onto the list!

10. Eldigan

Eldigan is, unfortunately, one of the units I do not have, and I got this screenshot from the amazing people at Hopus Bopus’ server! ;) Eldigan’s thighs are... lacking. They’re a bit on the slim side, but they look pretty muscular.

9. Niles

Niles barely managed to get to the 9th spot, despite being my husband. Jakob was originally going to be in the 10th place, but I replaced him with Niles, and then realized quickly that Niles does in fact have better thighs then Eldigan! BUUUTTT anyway... Lets get down to the details. Niles has some nice thick thighs; they have a nice shape and look pretty strong. They don’t look too muscular though (actually- they don’t look muscular at all!), which is a nice plus. Those are some solid thighs you got there, my love. 👌 👌 👌 👌 👌 There’s just a few people with better thighs then you....

8. Christmas Robin

I had some trouble with this boy. He looks like pretty well off- I nearly put him quite high on this list, until I got down to the technical details. The thing here is, his pants are poofy. We can barely see his thighs! That one rip in his art is all we have, and it leaves one to imagine. And that is exactly why I put him this low on the list. He looks like he could have some amazing thighs- but that’s just speculation. Entirely speculation. In fact, that’s the main reason why he’s higher on this list then Niles. For all we know, especially from how skinny he appears to be, his thighs could be quite skinny and lackluster. It’s just.... he’s got quite a few things working against him. Sorry Robin.

7. Valter

I feel like I’m doing him an injustice by putting him here. He’s got some nice thighs, for sure! The dirt on them is a nice touch for his damaged art. Honestly, they look super nice. They look muscular, but not too muscular, and they look pretty thick, but not too thick.... His thighs look like they’ve seen combat before. His left thigh maybe even looks like it has a scar on it? Maybe? Anyway, they look like some battle hardened legs. Good legs.

But uhh.... the only reason he’s not higher is the same reason as Niles: other people have better thighs.

6. Alfonse

The Askran prince himself! He’s got some pretty nice thighs. They look untouched. Smooth. They’re not too thin, and they aren’t muscular at all. Alfonse’s thighs are pure, pristine. Theres just something about them that makes them look super nice.... And as Niles says, he looks like a pretty bit of porcelain. He may indeed look nicer with a few chips, but he looks pretty damn good to me right now.

5. Gerome

Damn. Those thighs tell stories. He’s got a lot of cuts and scrapes, and I’m not sure if it’s just because of him getting hurt, or if it’s because those are indeed scars. But I’m pretty sure at least some of those are scars. And like I said: those thighs (and the scars that come with them!) tell stories man. Stories of how he’s been hurt, his struggle, the armies of risen he’s had to fight, his past.... everything. His thighs aren’t very thicc, but they aren’t too skinny either. I’d say they’re pretty muscular, which gives him an adequate amount of thickness. But I feel like you could plant kisses on every one of his scars and he could tell you the story behind each and every one.

4. Legendary Ephraim

Legendary Ephriam is THICC. He’s got some DAMN nice thighs and they look DAMN nice for resting your head on. They actually look more fat then muscular, surprisingly, despite the fact you can see a glimpse of a 6 pack a bit further up and to the right. 👀 👀 👀 And look- I am not complaining. In fact, I don’t think I need to say much else. These thighs are just.... Legendary.

3. Christmas Chrom (ft. Spring Chrom)

Ok, so this spot was originally going to JUST go to Christmas Chrom, but as I was thinking about Chrom, I remembered his spring form! Who I literally have in my barracks!!!! How could I forget him??? But I pulled up this bad boy on my computer and confirmed Chrom DOES have some damn nice thighs (AND a nice body.... *ahem*)

Christmas Chrom’s thighs seem a bit thicker then Spring Chrom’s. But Spring Chrom is practically in a skintight outfit- how could I not have him be on this list? Anyway, I was going to talk about how Chrom doesn’t seem to have any art in Heroes that reveals his thighs too much, and that Christmas Chrom was the best one to portray the thighs we all know he has. ;) They’re nice and thick; not too muscular but not too fat either. But Spring Chrom negates this comment entirely, so uh... yeah.

2. Ephriam

I can’t fucking believe it either. Normal Ephriam makes it to second place on this list with these vanilla thighs. They’re skinny, too! But if you look closely, you can see a hint of muscle on the one on the right. His thighs are sooo vanilla, but they look amazing. There’s just something about them that makes me love them. Maybe they’re not very good for laying your head on, and maybe they don’t tell stories like Gerome’s, but.... Naga Damn Me if I said No to these thighs.

And the Number 1 spot on this list goes to....

1. The Prince of Darkness: Berkut

Ok ok ok ok ok ok.... so hear me out. First, look at this art. Only the finest for our evil prince! Second, this is a good angle! You get to see them from the sides AND the top! Third!!! They’re perfect!!! They look like strong, thicc thighs. BUT! Not too muscular (which would be nasty), and not too thicc! They’re just right! Legendary Ephriam had huge thighs: thicc. But they were too thicc. Gerome had muscular thighs: it made him too skinny. But! Berkut has the perfect size: they aren’t too big, nor too small. You can easily and comfortably rest your head in his lap, or even sit on it if you wish. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And, I’d like to think that once he gets more attached to you, he may be more willing to let/make you sit on his lap.

#fire emblem heroes #fe heroes #feh #top ten #jakob #chrom #eldigan #robin #berkut #ephraim #alfonse #valter #gerome #fire emblem echoes #fire emblem awakening #fire emblem sacred stones #fire emblem geneology of the holy war #fire emblem fates

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sunnybimbo · 5 years

Text

New Year’s Wrap Up

i was literally just thinking about this and surprise!! boss has got me covered

weathered (887 words)

Blueberry and Dandelions (2614 words)

Candlelight (1811 words)

Pas de Deux, adagio (23369 words)

Greasy Kisses (1080 words)

Me First! (1563 words)

Howling Heart (2553 words)

Dearly Beloved (3671 words)

Silence is Golden (2153 words)

Molten Gold (2953 words)

Dreaming (5303 words)

Chrysalis (483 words)

Marks You Leave (1182 words)

The Heart Speaks In Whiskers (2612 words)

Refracted (973 words)

All We Need (15983 words)

Whipped (2823 words)

dusklight (2025 words)

left in the dust (2218 words)

Pull of My Hips (3448 words)

the notion of the idea of waiting for you (3242 words)

Fall In (2000 words)

catching your light in my palms (2891 words)

Total Fics: 23 (excluding spice fics which raise it to 31) Total Words: 93,128

(read more bc s u p e r l o n g p o s t)

Ship/character breakdown: Ship breakdown:

Heith - 8 Fics Shunk - 6 Fics Sheith - 2 Fics and the rest have less than one fic attached, or are gen <3

Character breakdown:

Hunk - 20 Shiro - 15 Keith - 14 (w/ Kosmo at a solid 4 appearances yeet) Lance - 7 Pidge - 5 Allura - 3 Lotor - 2 Coran - 2 and special shoutout to Kolivan @ 2 as well

Characters that had the main focus: u already know it,,,,,,, 💛

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title: i really can’t decide between: ‘the heart speaks in whiskers’ vs ‘blueberry and dandelions’ so take both Worst title: Dearly Beloved,,,,,,, i could’ve gone WAY cheesy

Best/worst first line?

best (Dreaming)

“You don’t have to do this.” Pidge says to him, just as the dawn begins to settle. He’s surrounded by faceless people, or atleast it feels that way with how little they look at him, so he focuses on nothing but her. Heavy makeup is traced across his eyelids, golden lines echoing the whisper of sun beams that paint his skin.

i love,,,,, yellow imagery in my fics,,,,,,, sue me

also hidge friendship! yeah!!!

worst (Molten Gold):

Lotor falls for the boy in yellow before he realizes it even happens.

just because i Remember not being able to think of anything more interesting to start with so i just slapped that on

Best/worst last line?

i waver so much but FINAL ANSWER:

i have TWO best ones, though.

(Dreaming):

And Shiro is a greedy god, a selfish god, a lonely god. But forever and always would he be a kind one.

(Pas de Deux, adagio)

It feels the exact same way about two months later, — sending a current of pleasant electricity thrumming through him, until his fingertips tingle and his heart soars— when Hunk proposes in the very pasture they'd met in. Keith, if it isn't obvious by the way he smooches Hunk silly, says yes.

And they lived happily ever after.

everytime i think about this fic i always wanna write a million and one words about it

worst (weathered):

They didn’t say anymore words, but the love (not to mention, the unadulterated mitigation of their combined grief) still nestled its way to his heart. There would never be enough time to describe how happy he was to see them again. And he knew that (and maybe he always knew) despite everything, here in his mama’s arms with his brothers and the familiar smell of grass and ocean, would always be his home.

only because it’s s o l o n g and kinda confusing to read

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I wrote a bunch less than last year, but this year was OOF so I didn’t do as much (93k vs last years 200+k ;w;)

although this IS disregarding my spice fics where i wrote almost 38k so,,, i didn’t do TOO terribly :D

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? spice: hunk/sendak......

but other than that, i’ve really stuck to heith/shunk! What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Familiar Faces is by far my favorite of the year. It was fun, it was kooky, it was funny, it was dramatic. Structurally it was among the most challenging (Two chapters happen simultaneously and that had to be plotted out well). Also, it was just super fun to work with Velkyn!

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

By kudos, Coming Through the Noise. Which is cool! I’d never seen a Gen truth serum fic before, and it was extra fun for a very reserved character like Shiro. Story most underappreciated by the universe? Unrelenting, probably. It’s all about the nature of being a Hufflepuff from Hunk’s POV, so I get why it doesn’t get a big audience. But I love it. Puffs need more love :( Story that could have been better? I like Shackles on my Wings, but it probably could have done with an extra polish (most things I write could tbh) Sexiest story?

DEFINITELY on my mind over @ my horni write write

Saddest story? god.... Silence is Golden for sure,,,,, (tw for torture/whump/i guess mild gore???)

Most fun? Pas de Deux, adagio,,,,,, i love myself some fairy tale (*cough* barbie* cough) crossovers.

Story with single sweetest moment?

i really gotta go with Pas de Deux again

"I'll be fine." Keith says as he pulls away. "Tonight isn't about this. Let's... let's dance. I've never danced before."

"Really?" Then, realizing that no, Keith probably would have never gotten the opportunity, Hunk stands and offers his elbow to him. "Well, I'm obligated to show you the best time of your life now."

They don't head towards the ballroom. Instead, they skirt around the edges of the castle until they find a window, left ajar just enough so that they can hear the music loud and clear.

Hunk offers his hand, and Keith lets his drop in his large palm. He's gathered up, then, with one arm around his waist, and it takes a bit of ushering from Hunk for him to catch the rhythm. Keith stumbles over his own feet more than once, caught between looking down at the motions and up at Hunk's face.

In the end, Hunk lifts him just a few inches up and lets him rest on the tip of his boots so that he can dance them around without having to worry about stepping on Keith's toes. He isn't wearing shoes, after all.

They dance until the song changes twice, and Keith finds himself pressing an ear against Hunk's heart, basking in the steady beat for as long as he's allowed. Every so often, Hunk will hum to the tune and the vibrations will course straight through Keith's body, like light through a rainbow prism.

Keith was right when he'd assumed that his dress would be fun to twirl in. The fabric is kind against his skin as it flips this way and that, but Hunk’s touch against his back is even kinder.

Hardest story to write?

All We Need, because i was at a r e a l l y bad place when i tried to tame that beast, but i’m so proud of how it turned out, and also i’d probably do anything for peach c’:

Easiest/most fun story to write?

left in the dust flowed out of me like water out of a spout,,,, it was Magical

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

mmmm i don’t think so? All We Need made me more conscientious of canon characterization, but by like maybe 10% asljhadl

Most overdue story?

dude..... All We Need, again. peachie was so patient and kind while it took me like 80 years ;w;

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

i tried to be more Flowy n Metaphorical in my writing because i love that shit, and i think it’s going pretty well. i lost my touch somewhere around the end of summer for a bit, bc again i was having some Fucky moments, but overall i think i’m doing alright!!!!

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

i have a couple long fic ideas i want to do!!! which i totally don’t mind talking about if anyone happens to be a little curious. one is an arriety au (bc i’ve never read the borrowers) and the other is that one old west au i literally never shut up about.

there’s another one i’m iffy about where it’s basically shunk in Therapy together yayyyyyy, but we’ll see if that one stays dead

but overall: my biggest goal is to write more longfics for rarepairs!!! also more things w/ women bc i’ve really been slacking on that end.

also maybe something for she-ra? i wrote down a couple ideas the other day that i’d love to explore

✍️ wish me luck!!!

tagging:

@grassepi @drdone @ironinkpen @darlingaces @tootsonnewts @oops-i-accidentally @dansantsouslalune @sakura-daydream @call-me-kaii @maternalcube @turtlelady17

plus anyone else who sees this that wants to do this!!!! i always forget people for these things

#long post #WOOF that took three hours #jam gets fuckin tagged in something holy shit #yayayaayaya #i'm proud of my progress this year!!!#i hope im able to write a bunch more next year!!!!#ask to tag

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healing-hanyou · 6 years

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Ace Attorney, Danganronpa, Love Live for the ask meme

STRAP YOURSELVES IN, KIDDOS. THIS IS A FUCKING ESSAY RIGHT HERE.

Ace Attorney:

Favorite Male Character: Miles Edgeworth. Shi-Long Lang is great as well. I also have a soft spot for Klavier, Sebastian and Apollo. And, naturally, my space son, Clay Terran.

Favorite Female Character: Kay Faraday!! Props also go to Mia Fey and Trucy Wright, as well as Athena and Jinxie.

Favorite Het Ship: Farabeste (Sebastian/Kay). Cykesquill as well, but I’m very specific about how and when I like it...like, ridiculously specific. Diego/Mia is good as well. For something more ridiculous that I think would be fun, Clay and Athena could have had a great dynamic. Maybe even Clay and Jinxie, if we go out and be totally wild.

Favorite Slash Ship (both M/M and F/F): Klapollo, Langworth, Nahyuta/Simon. Vera/Trucy, lady Cykesquill, Robin/Myriam and Athena/Juniper for the ladies.

Least Favorite Male Character: how to I condense the list of the bastards? Kristoph is evil, but I cannot deny he had charm as a character - he’s terrifying, but fascinating, so I cannot name him as my least favourite. I think I’ll go with either von Karma or Blaze Debeste. They’re responsible for so much misery, and they don’t have any tragic reasons for being the way they are.

Least Favorite Female Character: Ma//ya Fe//y. I know the reasons people have for liking her, and I can forgive some flaws in writing, but she simply has too many of them. I know she is a courageous girl who ultimately wishes to do good, but the way she acts, especially in the first two games... just make me go ‘hmmmm’. Honestly, my favourite games in the series are those where I don’t get to see her. Young Pearl is also very low down on the list, and she was my least favourite for a long while, but her teenage years made me soften up to her, she’s pretty great in DD.

Least Favorite Het Ship: anything that encourages abuse, like Grant/Lana? Why would you do this? Also, I’m not fond of Athena/Apollo or Juniper/Apollo. Apollo is far too gay in my eyes to ever be together with a girl. Phoenix/Maya is another one I dislike.

Least Favorite Slash Ship (both M/M and F/F): same rule as above applies. Aside from those, I... don’t have many slash ships I actively dislike, surprisingly? My main one would be Wri//ght//wor//th, since, in my opinion, it’s very overhyped, and I cannot turn around in this fandom without seeing it, but even that is mostly just...annoyance.

Dirty Little Secret: I haven’t forgotten about my dumbass theory. I’m just...really fucking slow.

Headcanon(s): this will need to be answered in its own separate asks. I have headcanons for everyone. For now, though - Jinxie Tenma is a Fey.

Unpopular Opinion(s): I like Gyakuten Kenji far more than the original games. In general, games with a protag that’s not Phoenix and newer games in the series I tend to like more. Not to imply that the original trilogy was bad or anything, but... Edgeworth is far more solid as a protagonist, not only because his side was relatively unexplored, but because his investigation methods were so much more sensible. Phoenix has this ‘wing it’ approach, which works fine, until you see past it. When you see past it, the tension build-up it tries to pull fails massively, and you just get annoyed by Phoenix never thinking ahead for anything, or being oblivious. With Edgeworth, when there are moments of tension, they appear because of something genuinely unexpected, or because Edgeworth made a miscalculation (which allows character growth). Even when Edgeworth has to pull dumb or crazy shit, it feels like it makes sense, because he thinks, even when he panics. Also, Phoenix is tied down by the worst accompanying duo of Maya and Pearl all the time, while Edgeworth acquires an absolutely amazing set of sidekicks (and he not only gets fun new ones, like Kay and Lang, but there’s so much detail in his interactions with Gumshoe, Franziska and Larry as well? It was great to see the Edgeworth/Larry dynamic of the friendship). Plus, I like the Logic Chess things, the soundtrack is my favourite (how exactly COULD you even attempt to top Shi-Long Lang’s theme???), at least if we’re not counting PLvsAA as a part of this universe, and I like the visuals of it much better. In short, everybody should play these fucking games right fucking now, and storm Capcom offices so they actually port GK2 for the Western market.

A lot of the same criteria apply for the newer games, too. While DD was a comeback for Phoenix, it was a game with mixed protagonists, and it was a new Phoenix as well. Apollo probably has my second favourite supporting character crew after Edgeworth, and, at the time, his Perceive mechanic was refreshing to see after being stuck to the same gimmick for 3 games. Same with Athena. She differs dractically from both Phoenix and Apollo, and brings a new mechanic and a new set of associated people. In other words? I’m happy this series is trying new things, and exploring extra protagonists where it can. It has improved a whole bunch as a result.

Danganronpa:

Favorite Male Character: Byakuya Togami, Kiyotaka Ishimaru. Nagisa Shingetsu. Gundham Tanaka, Hajime Hinata, Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko, Nagito Komaeda. Shuuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi, Rantarou Amami.

Favorite Female Character: Aoi Asahina, Celes, Touko Fukawa. Sonia Nevermind, Peko Pekoyama, Akane Owari, Ibuki Mioda. Angie Yonaga, Kirumi Toujou, Maki Harukawa, Tenko Chabashira.

Favorite Het Ship: Togami/Asahina, Ishimaru/Asahina, Hinata/Ibuki, Tanaka/Pekoyama (I’m especially fond of this one, also titled Soft Animals Edge Duo). Sonia/Kuzuryuu is also great, though that is a platonic ship, as I headcanon Sonia as aro.

Favorite Slash Ship (both M/M and F/F): Naegi/Ishimaru, Naegi/Togami. KomaNaegi is quite pure, but a friend also got me into KomaSouda as a complimentary ship to TanaPeko. A crackship, but still a favourite is Izuru/Ryouta. And, of course, the ultimate fave - Saiouma. (A nice shoutout also goes to Oumota and Amamota). As for the ladies, Kirizono and Celesgiri, and all gay Asahina ships are good, SoniAkane & Pekobuki. In V3, Tenko is mega gay, so there’s a chance for every gay ship, however, my favourite one is Tenko/Maki. If we’re talking non-Tenko ships, Angie/Maki sounds fun.

Least Favorite Male Character: in DR1, surprisingly, none. Well, Hagakure can get on my nerves, but I like just alright all of them. In SDR2, Nidai, in my opinion, didn’t have that great of a development, so I guess him. Though I also have plenty of issues with Souda. In V3, Gon//ta Go//ku//ha//ra.

Least Favorite Female Character: All DR1 girls are good, and even if they aren’t, they’re at least interesting or entertaining. But if I have to pick, Junko, if we’re judging morality. In SDR2, Mi//kan Tsu//mi//ki and Hi//yo//ko Sai//onji,in terms of morality and/or being dicks. In terms of rather poor writing (despite having a good idea), Chi//a//ki Na//na//mi. In V3, H//i//m//i//k//o Y//u//m//e//n//o and K//a//e//d//e A//k//a//m//a//t//s//u. The final one is also my least favourite in the entirety of the series as a whole.

Least Favorite Het Ship: Jun//ko//ma//e//da. In general, any Junko ship is not very good for plenty of reasons. Na//e//gi//ri. In SDR2, Souda/Sonia (she’s clearly not comfortable with him), Nidai/Akane, Hi//na//na//mi.. Not sure if should be mentioned here, but romantic Kuzupeko? Mostly because I cannot picture it as a thing. I do, however, like them platonically, they do care about each other a whole bunch. In V3, Sa//i//ma//tsu (never make me look at it).

Least Favorite Slash Ship (both M/M and F/F): Chi//hi//mon//do. Even if I do like Mondo okay, it’s not healthy. Ka//mu//ko//ma. Son//dam. Jun//ko//mi//kan? Mahiru/Peko for sure. Kiib//ou//ma, too.

And the one I guarantee I’ll receive anon hate over - Te//n//hi//mi.

Dirty Little Secret: this series somehow manages to combine the good with the ridiculous in such a way that I can accept.

Unpopular Opinion(s): I am the literal embodiment of unpopular opinions in this franchise. I think V3 is the best game of the series, and it had a brilliant twist (both the start one and the final one). I don’t really ship the most popular ships, the obvious exception being Saiouma (and, to an extent, SoniAkane? It’s a popular Akane ship, at least). I think Saihara is a far better protag choice than the other option that was presented, since the story and its structure was made to fit him. I’m the unpopular opinion and rarepair central in this fucking thing. (Please help me.)

Love Live!:

Favorite Male Character: yay for not having prominent males, which means I get to skip 2 more questions here.

Favorite Female Character: In Muse’s, my top 3 is Hanayo, Eli and Maki. In Aquors, my top 3 is You, Kanan and Dia (though Mari and Chika are also very lovable).

Favorite Slash Ship (both M/M and F/F): Makipana! It’s very very cute. I also quite like HonoEli. HonoMaki is also quite nice. In Aquors, YouKanan or DiaKanan.

Least Favorite Female Character: Not unpopular by any means, but Ni//co Ya//za//wa. In terms of singing voice, Kotori. In Aquors, R//i//k//o S//a//k//u//r//a//u//c//h//i.

Least Favorite Slash Ship (both M/M and F/F): Ni//co//ma//ki??? I will never understand why people like it. In Aquors, Chi//ka//ri//ko and You//ri//ko.

Dirty Little Secret: I quite like A-RISE. Every song they’ve ever done is an absolute banger, as the youth says.

Unpopular Opinion(s): would you look at that. Another fandom where I’m the monarch of rarepairs.

#Ask meme answers #wow I sure as fuck got...spirited #apologies to all and everyone #I tried by best to slash out character and ship names I list in my disliked sections since I don't want people to see them through search #alsoo for my own safety #I know whose fans can get very aggressive so I am taking no risks #no more angsty messaes for me please #anyway cheers for asking #wanderingthroughwickford #Words spoken at me

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athleisure-aesthetic · 7 years

Photo

This is a long post because I went on a few rants, but there are workouts and stuff in there, I promise ;) stay tuned for commentary on vanity sizing and non-scale victories!

April 13 Thursday’s workout was super speedy. Legs and a quick stretching NTC workout. I meant to do curtsy lunges to finish it out, but I was crunched for time and my legs were already burning from the seasaw lunges and step-ups because my bench was higher than a normal one would be. I always get kind of frustrated when my NTC workout ends up being a lowkey stretching one, because I use it to replace cardio for the day. I’m starting to think I should either do more than one or just do cardio anyway. At least I got in a nice half hour walk at lunch; it was much colder than I was expecting since the rest of this week has been so nice! Still pretty out tho. And my skull shirt is badass. The end.

Went to Whole Foods with Ani when I got home to get some goodies for the weekend, and really stuck to my list (which I was proud of, bc that store is a literal TRAP) which included chocolate milk as a post-workout fuel… ASK ME HOW HYPE I AM TO START DRINKING CHOCO MILK AGAIN!!! (very. obviously.) Also started growing a mini protein bar collection because now I’m terrified of not properly fueling post-workout, so now I’m going to have very little excuse not to, since these babies are extremely portable. Just throw one in ya workout bag, and there you go. Don’t even have to remember to get it from my lunch box. I’m finally trying RXBAR and a few Quest Bar flavors (shoutout to @runningwhilenotdying for the suggestion, ty girl!) for now, in addition to the Luna Protein bars I still have. Still going to have to try a few to find out which works best for me.

Legs / butt workout 3x each 15 reps weighted glute bridges, 10# 15 reps goblet squats, 10# 20 reps step ups, alt. sides, 10# 20 reps seasaw lunges, alt. sides 15 reps weighted lying leg curls, 6# 40 s wall sits 10 reps burpee + high jump alternating leg swing stretches instead of curtsy lunges bc I’m a wimpy bitch lol

Listening to: “Under You” by Nick Jonas

April 14 Today is the day John Mayer’s full album is out, something I realized halfway through Friday morning while working from home, so I blasted the FUCK out of it in my apartment and haven’t stopped listening since. Ani took the day off, so it was just me at home designing, which is literally what I wish every work day of my life could be. Making my own schedule, eating and working out whenever I want and not having to worry about when I’m going to finish, not having to talk to people lol.

I decided to workout around 11ish and had to do arms / upper body without weights, which was a bit challenging considering my weak wrists and lack of free weights. BUT I made it, and my wrists weren’t ded afterwards, so I guess I’m building up some strength? Plus check out my schweaty knees, aren’t they purty? It was a dec workout, so hype it. HOWEVER, in the middle of my last set, this awful ringing started in my apartment, which I identified as the fire alarm after panicking for like 2 seconds. Then there was this weirdo announcement in our hallway as if we were in a damn dorm, saying to evacuate asap so I was like o fuck ok let me get my things. Ran outside with my purse and a jacket, ran into the woman who legit hates me and Ani for being loud on the weekend two whole times (fuck her tho it was a Friday and Saturday at like 11pm get your panties out of your ass amirite) and she was like idk what’s going on I’m probably not going downstairs. I was like ????? um if there’s a fire I’m not dying so bye. So I ran down 8 flights of stairs to find no one in the lobby. Sick. It was a false. Alarm. Bc they’re doing construction right in front of the elevators. Motherfuckers. So I had to go back up 8 flights of stairs once I got the approval from the doorman. Thx for the cardio break, how’d you know I needed that? 🙄 Finished my set, worked for a bit longer, then showered and decided I was done working for the day lol.

It was pay day and I was bored so I kinda went a little nuts on a shopping trip. As usual, I mostly bought athleisure, buuuuuuuuuuut there are some significant things about this shopping trip that I must share.

1: I willingly purchased two pairs of athletic shorts. I do not wear anything but leggings to workout in, because I hate the way my legs look, and I usually feel much more mobile and flexible in leggings, even if it’s like 90 degrees out and July. But I tried on two pairs of black shorts, and could actually see myself not only wearing them like to bed, but like… doing active things in them, and being ok with seeing my legs. First #NONSCALEVICTORY o the day.

2: I not only willingly tried on a one piece bathing suit, I tried on two, AND I purchased one. Every person alive knows too well the personal torture of trying on bathing suits, especially in dressing rooms that have awful fluorescent lighting that does not flatter anyone. But for some reason I was in a good mood about my bod (perhaps after the shorts win), so I grabbed two suits and said to myself, fuck it, don’t feel bad about yourself, but do not get your hopes up. This could go great, or it could not. Don’t let this be a reflection of how hard you’ve been working. It might just not fit, that’s not your fault. BUT THEY BOTH FIT REALLY DECENTLY OK. The one was like bright red and v scandalous and tbh I did not have the boobs to fill out that sucker. So despite it fitting ok, I couldn’t go with it. But the other was stripey and rouchey and pretty comfortable, so I was like welp. I need at least one suit for the summer, and can’t picture myself using any of the ones from last summer, and I don’t feel like total crap in this. So. I bought it!

3: I purchased at least one thing of every size (S, M, L, and XL), which proves that sizing is fake and literally doesn’t fucking matter. I like all my tops a little baggy and all of my bottoms tight (except those shorts I ended up getting, but who knew I would even buy shorts…). That’s just my personal preference style-wise. I went to four different stores, and ended up getting clothing that fit me, but when I was ripping the tags off when I got home, I noticed that all the sizes were different. I bought a shirt from Uniqlo (AMAZING STORE, btw, never been before today) that was a size small, which is something I haven’t done in like literally maybe 7-8 years. I also bought a cropped sweatshirt from Marshall’s in XL, even though I thought it was a large when I bought it. Either way, it’s not like my body morphed mid-shopping trip. I was the same size all day, but the stores decided I was all over the place. This just makes me a, hate the fashion industry for forcing this imaginary 00 system and ideals of size-shaming on us, but also b, feel better about myself because I know that I can’t be reliant on just being one size. I used to think of my weightloss in terms of pants sizes. Like last Friday when I was wearing actual pants, they were 12s. But like. A 12 at one store could be a 16 at another, or an 8. I used to say, oh I just want to be down to a consistent 8. That would be the perfect amount of weight to lose. If I get there, I’ll know that I’m good. But I’m really starting to see that that number and that size doesn’t exist. There is no universe in which an 8 at every store will fit the same. So judging yourself on a system that’s literally impossible to fit into is just a recipe for hurt and shame. So now I’m just gonna grab any size that looks like it’ll fit. It’s still not fun to see a higher number, but that’s going to be a mindset I have to get myself out of, and this post is proof that it doesn’t matter. I want to base my happiness with my fitness on phyiscal progress: what I can DO with my body, not just how it looks in the clothes I inevitably have to wear. But today, for a few reasons, I felt really good, and I’m proud to have seen not only one, but a few non-scale wins. Hype it the FUCK up.

Whew. That was a lot, sorry. I almost feel like a doing a ~haul~ like I’m on some fashion youtube channel, I bought so many fun things. But whatever, I doubt anyone cares about that except me lolol.

Honestly sometimes I think I just like to buy some things because I’m happy they fit me, not because I need them or are in love with them. Is that weird? I feel like I’m a pretty specific shape (very short and curvy, but not curvy everywhere), so when I find something I actually think fits me, I usually just say, yeah I’ll wear this. I definitely am spending too much money that way, but it’s nice to feel like a lot of things are fitting me well for once.

Arms / upper body workout 3x each 20 reps shoulder taps, alt. sides 10 reps pushups 20 reps walk outs + twist, alt. sides 10 reps tricep dips 50 reps arm circles forward 50 reps arm circles backward 20 reps lat pull downs + shoulder squeeze 35s, 40s, 45s plank 10 reps decline push ups 10 reps burpee + high jump + 5 jumping jacks PLUS 8 flights of stairs when my fucking fire alarm went off and the elevator didn’t work 🙃

Listening to: “Burlesque” by Christina Aguilera OR the Voices in Your Head a cappella version, both are fun

April 15 I was hella nervous for my run today; 6 miles seemed like a lot to me, and after last week’s long run on the treadmill, it had been a while since I’d done a long one outside. The last time I finished a long run outside, I felt like death. So this time I wanted to be really prepared; I read some articles and youtube videos on how to run longer without like dying, and made sure to focus on my breathing and warmup. Once I left my apartment, I didn’t start my timed run for about 10ish minutes but still ran slow to get my legs ready. Then I did some of the moves from the videos, and set off. Today I went towards the art museum and Kelly Drive for the first time, which was definitely busy for a Saturday morning, but it was kinda gray out and mid-50s which is like perfect running weather. I felt really good for like literally the whole run, and I couldn’t tell if it was the new place, good music, or what, but I was surprised at how quickly the miles came and went. I stopped at 4.56 miles to take the picture in front of the art museum, walked briskly up the hill to the building, then ran the rest of the way on the rest of the Schuykill River Trail and back towards home. I finished a little ways away from home and was inspired by a boy who seemed to be blind or albino who was running with a small leash with a girl, and continued jogging all the way home. So I really totalled something like 7.10 miles and they felt GREAT which is INSANE for me. Like that’s so many miles. And I haven’t run that far in so long, and they actually felt GOOD??? Like who am I?

I rewarded myself with a cinnamon roll protein shake, a little more shopping (I ended up getting the black Nike Tanjuns for anyone who saw my post last night lol), and Chick-Fil-A nuggets for lunch. Was considering making this day a cheat day when I saw the Chick-Fil-A, but I was good and only got the nuggets. My resolve was tested when I saw a girl with a Rita’s cup right when I got home and I wanted to be like OMG GIRL WHERE IS THERE A RITA’s AROUND HERE???!??! But clearly I held myself back.

Guess that means more Easter chocolate for me tomorrow hayyyyyy

6.02 mi 10'20" min / mi

Listening to: “Hair” by Little Mix

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