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#few and useless they were
theflyingkipper · 8 months
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There are no LBSCR E2s left.
Would anyone remember them? Would they be another piece of forgotten machinery, with few photos and even less video footage? And in the universe we live in, they are so easily recognizable to foamers and outsiders directed to them- saying “That’s Thomas. He was real.”
Real and made real again in storybooks and TV shows and wooden toys and Bachmann models. Those 10 E2s, faulty lumbering engines with a wheelbase too big for tight turns and water tanks too small to be good enough for the short goods trains they were designed for… became the most famous tank engines in the world. Can you imagine if we still had them? If we still had one? Like wistful lovers of recently extinct animals, we write, we draw, we try to bring them back to life.
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gideonisms · 6 months
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When the urgency just is not there...when the primal urge to do fuck all takes over...
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saintends · 2 months
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Well... over a decade of constant battle in and out of the hospital, diagnosis after heavy diagnosis and still somehow defying the odds- all over in an instant this morning. My dad is gone.
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silvermoon424 · 7 months
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Good fucking riddance to this job. I can't believe the amount of disrespect I've been conditioned to just put up with.
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crispyliza · 1 month
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You've heard of mansplaining, now get ready for: dadsplaining!
Example: you're filling out paperwork and your dad sits next to you and tells you the answers to questions like: what is your name and last name (he also helps you spell it), when is your birthday, when did you graduate high scool etc.
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Had another wild dream
There was a festival, the biggest one of the year. Where everyone comes together to celebrate. Everyone in this world has a hidden ability, like a talent but a bit more magical. This celebration shows off the most magical of them all, like the one who can take reindeer by just touching them, or the dude who can play any instrument without ever seeing said instrument before, etc etc. some are simple powers like reading fast, or able to draw anything, or even just a very good worker, but apparently I don’t have an ability and am seen as worthless. Anyway, There are many people who are invited to this festival, but in this world there are monsters, who trap and kill people in many different ways. This is important for later. Each person invited to the festival, if they are related to one of the performers, must help out in some way shape or form. Last year I tried and failed to help, by being the end flag for the army race, where the soldiers who are invited, race to see who is the fastest. I was told to hold the flag and change it when 10, 20, 30, minutes have passed, while also stopping the clock when the winner passes me. However they never told me that last part and I got in trouble. So this year they want me to just hold a plate of mashed potatoes and hand it out.
So while we are waiting for things to start we need to find our seats. Me and my siblings are sat somewhere up higher, however there are only three seats. So I’m told to just “sit near them” on the ground, but don’t literally sit on the ground cause it’ll make the place look bad. After I join the walk with my mashed potatoes, about half way through I’m out and tell the Sargent and he says “we’ll go get more from up front” which btw this walk is like walking around a mega church building. So yeah, I get pissed and walk back with everyone looking at me. I get back and decide fuck it I’m going to just sit and not do anything. So I climb in the seats where my siblings are, get yelled at by a dude who I have to pass by when getting to these seats cause “you should know better than to walk on my seat” bro it’s literally the only way to the other seats, if you know another path please show me. He just grumbles and says that I should know of another path. I ignore him and get to the seats and stand nearby cause my sibs are sitting there. The show starts then and that’s my siblings cue to leave their seats so they can be carried away to perform. So I’m left in the middle of the path that also acts as the stage and I just quickly get over to the side cause wtf else do I do. Only to get reprimanded by my aunt and mother that “I should be in my seat and not basically on the stage” I just glare at them and say “well maybe somebody should make sure there are ENOUGH seats for us then” only for them to say that there were and that I’m being unhelpful and just want to complain. I finally snap and just walk along the path/stage, backwards. I’m heading to my car and just running away cause I can’t deal with these shits.
Anyway, Remember the monsters? Once outside I see a few roaming around, they are different sizes and different creatures. I don’t care and just keep walking. Apparently last year I ran into one, it grabbed me and I thought that was it, but it just rubbed my head and cooed before putting me down, chasing another person, and then eating them. So I didn’t care cause I felt pretty safe around them, which is saying something when the step on a car and it explodes.
I’m making my way to my car when I hear that apparently my family is looking for me already. I’m like “shit” so start running across the town/city to get to my car. But once again the town is being swarmed by monsters. I get to an area where this grass tentacle monster thing is sitting, and there’s a group of others trying to figure out how to pass it with getting caught. I tell them just don’t get hit by the end of the grass thorn tentacle thing, cause that’s what’ll grab you, as I start causally climbing over the already grown tentacles. A few tentacles have fallen apart and I grab a few and say “check this out” before chucking them into a body of water. The tentacle then grow and form another monster, the exact same kind of monster that we just passed. I rub it’s little head and say it’s a good boy and needs to stay there until it’s big enough to leave the pond. The group is horrified that I just made more monsters and most run away from me in fear.
The more brave parts of the group quickly joins me and hopes I can get them to safety and I mention that the house next to the library has a spell on it that repels all monsters, and that I’ll be walking in that direction anyway so they can join me. Anyway we continue walking through the snow and crowds of people who are scurrying off to do whatever when another monster appears. This one is a classic giant who is seen chasing someone, he sees me and for a brief second considers going for me before returning to his original target. I don’t get to see if he successfully catches them or not.
Eventually we get to the house and I drop them off before going to the library cause it’s a bit closer to my destination. I get yoinked in by someone who is panicking cause there’s a monster running the library. I look over and it’s this little sand vampire lady monster. I recognize her cause a few years back she successfully trapped me in her sandpit. She started sucking out my youth before stopping and realizing that I wasn’t getting older, but she was still getting younger. She is confused and asks what’s going on and I just shrug and say that I have no idea but if she want she can keep trying until she feels she is at the youthful age she wants. She does and I still don’t age, I then tell her if she acts human and doesn’t attack anyone else, that I’ll help her maintain her youth…at least until I die. She agrees and starts to work in the library. She looks human but if you look closely you see her skin is actually sand. Anyway the person is freaking out and I just say hi to the librarian and ask how it’s going. She said fine and that she needs a little pick me up, so I allow her. Much to the horror of the other person.
We chat for a bit before another smaller monster runs in and grabs me and the shocked person shouting that another giant monster needs a sacrifice. He is this fur covered monster with horns and he rushes out, despite the librarian’s shouts. Then we see the a new monster, this giant tall skinny monster, their skin swirling with different darker colors (like dark blue, deep violet, black, and a hint of dark green too)
That’s when the monster carrying us puts us down and is about to shout at this bigger monster that he brought a sacrifice but freezes for two reasons, 1: monsters are not against attacking smaller monsters and mr fluff here was hoping to get on this big dudes good side but just witnessed the big guy rip another monster apart, and 2: he looks at me and says that I shouldn’t be there and that he messed up by bringing me. I’m still confused before it clicks in my brain. I’m not useless, I do have an ability and a very rare one at that. I have a monster ability, it’s why I don’t get attacked, it’s why I can walk by them, it’s why they hesitate and change their mind, it’s why their attacks don’t affect me and why I know so much about them despite not seeing some of these monsters. I stare at the monster who was holding me cause we both realized what I am, just then the giant dark creature is looking at us with bright violet eyes. I’m not scared and walk forward placing my hand in the middle of his face… I then wake up.
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sealrock · 5 months
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decembhyur, day 15: childhood
"why can't you be like your brother?" they would bemoan. I heard that line my entire childhood. they always compared me to him, the brat who couldn't talk and would jump at shadows. I couldn't achieve anything without being snubbed by my relatives. my grandfather despised me; I was 'a blight to the family name,' as he so delicately put it. he said many awful things about me, things a child should never hear or internalize. I was nothing. I came from nothing. I will amount to nothing. do not taint your brother with your rot. why couldn't I be like my brother... the golden child who escaped death, so beloved by my mother and stepfather? she was my mother, too. I deserved the same love as him, but she was ashamed of me. everyone rallied around him when he returned unscathed from the tragedy that robbed us of my—our mother. the adults never let him out of their sights after that. my grandfather was quick to take him under his wing... and me, as well. the bastard child. what's so egregious is that I'm also alive. does my battle with this disease not warrant the same kind of praise? of course not, I was supposed to be in the ground long before now, but what keeps me going is pure spite. I told myself as a child, during those hellish days in the manor, that I would prove the old man wrong someday, and all of my enemies would have to eat their words. sad thing is, my enemies are the ones who are supposed to take care of me, to guide me. instead they treated me worse than a dog. there's always something with this family. not that you would understand. you're like my brother. everything always came easy to him. he's a prodigy in everything he touches, and everyone adores him. my grandfather says he was born lucky—I was just lucky to be born. I don't need luck, though. I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong... it's made me who I am.
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uncle-dusknoir · 4 months
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[Image attached! It's dark outside, the middle of the night. The trees are barren aside from a couple pine-adjacent, coated thick with snow that glitters gently in the dim moonlight. The ground, too, is the same sort of glittery falsely-bright snow, with evidence of Pokemon having run around and played in it.
In the distance, through the trees, a Winter form Sawsbuck can be just barely seen with a Deerling fawn. A trail of what looks like cigarette smoke crosses the scene.]
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crazymecjc · 7 months
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thinking about frankenstein a new musical (2008) once again and going Crazy
#carissa speaks#finally found the boots of the few songs that exist and.#I could stage it better#girl please ur score fuckin Bangs don’t do her dirty like that!!#victor frankenstein my little meow meow someone get this man to open up abt his feelings or smth#also if I was to direct frankenstein it would be so much fruitier#victor and henry were kissing on the regular TO ME#also the costumes????? the coming of the dawn fit fills me with rage the cut of the vest is all WRONG#and unbuttoned????? first and foremost king you are in the ARCTIC but also that would be like stripping!!! that’s not allowed!!#button ur vest up!!#idk if I was the directors of frankenstein a new musical 2008 I would simply up the energy levels#but maybe that’s just me#show fucks though do not get me wrong too 5 musicals of all time I am literally vibrating over here#but I did see those clips and every ounce of my theatre major brain took over#maybe a Would be a better techie#bc I know I could design the Hell out of this show#also- get rid of those fuckass stairs why the hell are there stairs they make for useless traveling#sorry not to be full of mt rage tonight I’m just so ??? they literally had it all how did they not follow through visually 😔#give me victorian gothic!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!#I also think it’s really interesting now that I’ve actually gone through and fully perceived the book#the changes they made specifically in the instances of justine and Henry’s deaths and how that changes victors character#I like that victor gets to witness Henry’s death and I think the conflict there is neat#but I also enjoy the agency of victor deciding to take back his promise on his own#I feel in some ways him actually going through with a second one all the way to the end is a detriment to his character#like yeah he does Immediately regret it and kill her but the lack of consideration beforehand in the musical is interesting to me#it feels much more like the frenzy of the first creation whereas in the book it is a true concious choice which I think is interesting#both are good and valid takes I just think the discrepancies are neat#there are so many typos in these tags but I cannot be assed to fix them#so sorry#frankenstein musical
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recallback-art · 3 months
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oh yeah ftr, there's been talk floating around of a potential deal between tumblr and mid/journey and that's obviously bad news for me here. nothing is official yet and iiiii will probably keep posting until it is either debunked or confirmed, but be aware that i'm gonna delete this blog if its real.
if you'd like to help out small creators like me so we can keep our blogs here, email tumblr via contact us and tell them exactly how bad this is. be calm, be clear, and be serious so they take things seriously. k thaaaaanks sorry for the doom and gloom
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nest-being · 23 days
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love seeing my mum becoming anti-police right before my eyes. nothing will radicalise you like experiencing two murders and seeing the police do fuck all about it
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a-very-fond-farewell · 4 months
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me: oh maybe today I’ll leave my village and go to the city for a stroll
me: *surrounded by pretty women from all sides*
me: *YEARNS*
so.. that was a mistake. time to write my feelings away.
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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youtube
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firebenders-are-cool · 2 months
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Years ago I came up with an ATLA fic idea for the earth avatar after korra and it was kinda good but I stopped caring about it. as I developed the plot and transformed my initial (flawed) idea, I got less interested in it because it was no longer the same idea. I basically wanted to write Trope A, didn't like that it was such a bad rendition of Trope A, fixed it, and got bored cause it wasn't Trope A anymore. I absolutely don't have the time (or desire) to go write it now (especially with avatar studios coming in hot with a new avatar), but damn I hope an alternate universe-me wrote it.
#atla#basically it was the same issue genji had and kyoshi had and all the fics have with not knowing who the new avatar is. Confusing two ppl#/not sure which is which#person A was abandoned at birth and given to family B#family B also had a child at the same time (gasp) which was person B#They grew up together in B's family. Both are benders#B was super clever and brave and maybe a bit headstrong but otherwise everything everyone expected of an avatar#kinda crappy parents of B are warned around age 14 or something that A and B could be dangerous together by Some Secret Source (villain for#and *insert political factors here* parents of B abandon them both.#[both A and B are mixed earth and fire nation]#A is a bit mellower and follows B's lead a lot of the time / doesn't mind not being the best at everything.#A and B go on adventures/solve mysteries on why their parents left both of them etc#that's like the first act and they find out one of them could be the avatar#they're poor btw. anyway#They of course make friends along the way (similar to aang's aventure-journey arc) and bam team avatar 3.0#except they don't know who the avatar is. gasp#so they look for people who might know how to find that out and they're like “it doesn't matter if it's you or me it's fine!” But ofc B#is really confident that it's them#blah blah they train and they find out Person A is the avatar. world crumbles#B is shocked and maybe there are issues beforehand yknow but A leaves for training and B is left in the dust feeling useless#Now abandoned by both family and friends in their eyes#B retreats and disappears for a few years as A trains. A does avatar things. B secretly gets involved with the Wrong Sort [villains]#maybe something spiritual? unlike lok2? who knows. Not me#leads up to A and B confronting each other and it's sad. A does not want this. B feels betrayed cause of x and y events#B obviously feels justified in their cause#*cue fight* but something changes w/ the villain and B's reality starts to crack#A convinces B that it's not all lost. Insert something about their parents again#gasp B's parents were threatened maybe. or not. Never decided#B starts to come around and together they kick ass. B has a LOT of community service hours to fill#protagonist to villain (maybe antihero?) to protagonist again
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biromanticbookbabe · 1 year
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Wow. Sometimes I'm very lucky and my bipolar doesn't always affect me much. But no such luck lately. I'm worried that I might have to retake my modern lit course because I was so late with many of my assignments. I've been mentally messed up more or less with a mixed mood episode since last September. I'm currently on the line of passing and not passing the class (granted there are a few ungraded assignments, including my final so it's still possible that I'm overreacting). I'm usually a good student too so it's a point of pride for me. I went from the honor roll to this all due to me fighting with an illness... :/ (It is my fault for not managing things better so I'm not looking for pity here- just talking).
I cannot imagine how horrible this disorder is for people who didn't have the option of medication (I am medicated, believe it or not). I think about that about that a lot since I study history and look into many writer's and artist's biographies in my spare time. I feel very bad for them since they basically had to live with this disorder without the fixes I have simply because I was born late enough for treatments to exist.
Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath both haunt me. Other people too. Yes, Lord Byron was extremely shocking but consider- we don't actually know what he would have been like if he could have been treated. He wouldn't have died at 36, I'm almost certain of that. I am highly aware of what this disorder has done to people before me. It doesn't make it better. But I keep looking back any way, to see that many of them did incredible things, in spite of it all.
I just keep thinking that if they could do so much without any treatment- that I should be able to function with treatment??? I know: don't compare yourself to other people but I'm desperate to know that I can be successful even with this illness. That it's not going to force me to leave school (the one thing I have been historically good at) and waste my life toiling away for nothing.
So if it seems as if I have been hitting my head against something lately, you aren't wrong. The fall is not generally my friend, pretty as the leaves are. I have not been having a good time of it but we must go on any way because what other option is there? None, I tell you.
#leaves pretty brain shitty has been my fall for the last few years since 2018 at least...#consistently fall has been bad for my cycle though I like that time of year normally#granted a lot of things kept happening every fall since 2018 too#bipolar disorder#actually bipolar#I probably am a closet perfectionist in some cases#I am exhausted thanks for asking!#and yes for a few semesters I was an honor roll student in my grad school- not any more though LOL#seriously I'm going into debt for this degree and uh that promise to waive our debt never came to light so I'm very fucked rn#I have to finish this degree so I can work off my debt and build a good reputation for myself#I'm honestly afraid my illness might take away my ability to have a career at all; I'm desperate for a living wage!#it's not good#but this could be anxiety talking tbh#for real I'm amazed that like Virginia Woolf and others were able to do as much as they did in their lives#because without my medication I'd probably be useless??? Mania is not fun 10/10 would NOT suggest#I actually pity Lord Byron after reading his biography; he just seems like if mania was a person and um it explains his behavior completely#do you ever look back at other peoples' lives and see pieces of yourself in them and then feel really bad for them? cuz I do all the time#mychatter#I'm stubborn in that I refuse to quit school since I am aware that my family needs to know I can do this#please don't take this personally this is my problem and a pointless rant probably
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cathymee · 10 months
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promised myself that i'm gonna fix up my notes from last sy so i can share it with upcoming humss students but i also keep going 'but what's the point'
#there were already so many from years ago who have posted and shared theirs#except theirs weren't as detailed; just the general summary for each topic#and mine are more detailed and i'm also contemplating translating them to tagalog#like this could serve as y'know. notes they could refer to to prepare themselves for the upcoming topics they'd tackle#but also...would i be robbing them of the experience to learn things on the pace their own teachers are setting?#in my own experience i only sought notes in the first few weeks of classes to ease myself into each subs and to learn what i'd be-#getting myself into#but i had fun just anticipating the upcoming topics without knowing anything about them#idk...is this just the result of me constantly mourning the state of the educational system in terms of the garbage curriculum and the-#general unpreparedness of most youths in choosing their tracks especially after the setback that the pandemic has brought on that are still#not given attention to by this garbage administration#combine that with the study of humanities & social science being looked down/underestimated by most filipinos#no wonder they're picking the stupidest and useless politicians & public servants. no wonder they're not paying much attention to the-#credentials of people they're electing to lead the country. ngayon letche-letche HGGSGAHSHAJS#anyway so many of the humss students i know chose careers that aren't consistent with their track and it's sad to see. sayang 2 years my-#loves :')#sigh......gonna do it now anyway#brain be very scattered rn. hate that <3#catdrain#rambles#non fandom
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kiriona-apologist · 1 year
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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youtube
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