#feeling bitter

[meatmensch]

red white and royal blue is fun schlock ig but the book shouldn't be a best seller and the movie shouldn't be doing as well as it is. but it totally makes sense! coz like...this is what we get? this is what y'all deem so worthy of praise? an assimilationist story so fucking assimilationist that the main characters that we are supposed to root for are *checks notes* a filthy rich white man from a family of colonizers and the son of a woman who is most certainly a war criminal? i don't want to be a part of that. i don't want gay people in the british royal family i don't want gay people in the white house i want gay people to tear the fascists down. but of course the story that is so popular is this one. i feel like the majority of gay people want to assimilate more than they want to be themselves

#rwrb #feeling bitter #coz it is fun i do like it. but i hate that i like it. like how dare u #my posts

[ickypuppi3]

it’s actually so insane like imagine being billy hargrove and just being fucking uprooted from your life and taken away from everything and everyone you know and ending up in some tiny town where you don’t ever get a break from your abusive dad who makes every aspect of your life a living hell and never getting any help for the situation you’re in and everyone blames you for absolutely everything and the closest thing to love or affection you get is being objectified and sexualised by literally everyone including women old enough to be your mom

#tw abuse #billy hargrove #stranger things #not to mention everything that came before this #he was so unhappy #i’m so fucking sad #and all that for what #just to end up dying for a bunch of people who don’t even appreciate you after you’ve gone #and your grave being in this town that destroyed your already fucked up life #wow #feeling bitter #alexa play bad things by cults #his story makes me want to actually punch a wall #it’s not even funny #it’s because i relate and that’s why it’s just so fucked to me the way it was handled

[wyllsravengard]

how long are people going to pin the state of wylls story on his rewrite. until i die probably

#z.gen #feeling bitter

[entanglingbriars]

it's insanely ridiculous that I can't even adjunct English with only a master's degree

#feeling bitter #the only job I'm any good for is teaching #but the academic job market is fucked up as hell #and there's no way I'd survive working the hours public school teachers have #if I get a phd #I wanna be able to do more than just adjunct #bc if the only job I can get with one is an adjunct professorship #it's not worth it #fml

[quandongcrumble]

So, my anxiety hit the roof last night at bed time. It’s after 1 am and I’m sitting in paralysed doomscrolling on the couch and I need to go to bed but I just can’t, and my heart feels like it’s trying to climb out of my throat…

I’m on the prescribed medication but it just doesn’t cut it. You know what did? Sharing a joint with my partner. We had a little smoke, got pleasantly stoned, and then I had a quick shower and fell asleep before the body stoned feeling left my knees.

And it pisses me off that I live in a country where that’s illegal. Like, if I lived in the right country I could buy some gummies from a dispensary and chew one on nights like that. I would be able to work out what dosage works for me to cut the bullshit in my head and let me get some sleep, instead of hoping the backyard weed I have is going to be about the right potency. Instead I’m debating asking my doc for a prescription for something on top of my current meds because they work wonders for the depression but don’t really cut the anxiety.

#feeling bitter #weed mention #drug use mention #it’s no fair #I just want easy access to legal gummies #they get advertised on nearly every podcast I listen to and I’m like no I want them #also I had the worst fucking withdrawals from my meds after missing two doses because I fucked up and didn’t get my script filled #before the pharmacies closed over Christmas #so the anxiety might be a byproduct of balancing out again but damn #look just let a girl get stoned occasionally

[doccywhomst]

#i’ve been thinking abt that cringe post #i think the latent feelings behind ‘cringe’ are shame and sometimes envy/bitterness #same vibes as when six year olds say ‘those toys are for babies’ if they’ve been shamed for their age by older kids #anyway. i think part of the healing process is realizing that shame puts you at war with yourself bc part of yourself is a social being! #and that part of you wants community and acceptance (maybe love). shame is the absence of acceptance #unlearning shame means learning self-love and gaining the confidence to find your people #jerma #cw jerma #(someone asked me to tag lol)

[teaboot]

You need to make art that nobody else likes. You need to make art that speaks to you alone. You need to cradle a serpent that eats its own tail and you need to love it until it loves you back

#The best art I've ever made will never be hung in anyone's home #That's not the point #It's not about being good #It's about being real #It's about eating something unpalatable #It's about being consumed #And tasting bitter #It's gorging yourself on crude oil just to feel something different #It's biting your tongue to make yourself cry #I'm saying that I am capable of making you feel good through personal sacrifice but I kind of don't want to cut myself up like that #If you want my heart to taste good you have to prepare it yourself #That isn't my problem

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

[nona-gay-simus]

Some days I truly feel like TLT has ruined... books for me. Like, I don't even like ACOTAR but I can think of at least four series that are basically ACOTAR with dragons, ACOTAR with gods, ACOTAR with vampires, ACOTAR with witches, and that's just off the top of my head.

But there's truly nothing out there that captures all or even some of the elements that enthralled me about TLT. The characters, the character dynamics, the magic system, the voice, the mix of science fiction and fantasy, the prose that knows exactly when to be funny and when to be serious, the queernorm world-building and variety of lesbian genders... It does not exist. Even if I find something with similar themes it will be bland fantasy voice and (most likely) boring straight ship of fem4fem.

It's even ruined audiobooks narrators because no one can compare to moira quirk and her sexy accent and wonderfully animated narration that makes the characters come to life.

And it makes me really sad to think i might never discover another series I love as much as this one. Not even close.

#im writing my own #but they feel like cheap imitations #tlt #the locked tomb #griddlehark #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #alecto the ninth #gtn #htn #ntn #atn #bitter sweet #bitter sweet rant

[neonbuck]

you have to love people for real. and that means loving them as people who have flaws, and will annoy you or get on your nerves some times. treating them like a toy or product you can throw away when you get bored or upset is not acceptable. it's what we've been conditioned to do, but it makes the world worse.

#.txt #i didnt always know this and i dont pretend i did. #i'm just glad i've learned it now at least #i went straight from a cult-like group into tumblrs 'its ok to kick any one out of your life for any reason' environment in my early 20s #it made my life turbulent lonely and miserable #thinking on the older adults who should have known better leading sheltered young queer people astray back then makes me feel so bitter.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I prefer the theory that Miles has a B in Spanish because the Spanish they teach in schools is different than the Spanish he speaks at home more than the theory that he’s just bad at Spanish

Also, I’m getting tired of how people keep portraying Miles as more and more terrible at Spanish, like even if he’s not better at home, a B is still good!!

I know it’s mostly just jokes, but I swear it’s gonna cause a ton of people to just believe that Miles is just horrible at Spanish and refuse to give up that characterization, we’re gonna be watching in real time as a fanon version of a character gets popular and unavoidable

#miles morales #Spider-Man #spiderman #spider man #I feel like a bitter old miser shaking my fist at people from my lawn #but I just know it’s gonna get too popular

[zu-is-here]

Captive

Geno by loverofpiggies

Reaper by renrink

#UPD I forgor glitches *head in hands* :'D #zu art #comic #afterdeath #afterdeath week #geno!sans #reaper!sans #undertale #undertale au #utmv #pun pun pun #I have so many conflicting feelings towards them #but this tender bitterness between them is so sweet to me ;w;

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

#cr spoilers #sometimes i think about how oryms backstory has it baked in that will was magically impossible to bring back #while yasha was simply not powerful enough in either magic or connections to bring zuala back #and by the time she was years had gone by and yasha had moved on and bringing zuala back would've been cruel and selfish #similar to how deanna was brought back but now she was left behind and alone #speaking of could you ever truly move on from grief in a world like that? #how do you accept the inevitability of death when it isn’t necessarily permanent? #no wonder delilah and sylas went evil to keep each other alive #no wonder laerryn accidentally caused the calamity in trying to break through the planes #the hubris of a world like this would be UNREAL #as would the bitter feelings from everyone who knows this power exists but can’t access it bc they’re like. a farmer #critical role #long post #nella talks cr #cr3 spoilers

[miqo-tia]

I like Alisaie's continuous distaste for self sacrifice. In a genre where self sacrifice is usually something noble and necessary, it's refreshing to see a character say "No. There is another way. You are not losing it all for this cause. You will live to see your efforts bear fruit."

#ffxiv #alisaie leveilleur #i'm gonna guess that her distaste for self sacrifices comes from louisoux #who did indeed sacrifice himself for the greater good #i dunno i just think it's nice. it like it. and sometimes characters need some sense flicked into them #there are a lot of instances where she shows this actually! #which also feels nice. she doesn't grow bitter or desperate enough to consider self sacrifice the good option

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Words Collide

[First] Prev <--> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jiang fengmian #yu ziyuan #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #Almost axed this comic but then I remembered I cut the previous argument between them and I guess they can have this. #and by 'this' I mean their toxic arranged marriage verbal battles. #As I previously mentioned in a comic I have chosen to see them as mlm and wlw in an unfulfilled relationship. #The yearning is for companionship. I think they do care for each other it's just something deeply complicated. And bitter. #I truly feel for JC and WWX in this scene because while it's implied YZY really pushes the limit...it's apparent this isn't new. #And it's so petty! Anyone who lived through a parent pitting you against a sibling can tell you that this stuff messed them up #regardless of what side you were on (the golden one or the fuck up). #It doesn't matter what is said. It matters that it was said at all. That you can't shake the concept once it was spoken. #The Jiang household is so much more miserable the deeper you examine what's going on and how they cope with it. #Knowing that a parent does not like you is just awful. I wish everyone who's been through it all the best. You didn't deserve that. #Next update is back to the jokes! Remember jokes? It jingled merrily...How I miss the sound of those bells...

[canisalbus]

I've been following you for years, and I love your art. Seeing you repost your older art pieces reminded me how much I loved the angry, bitter, miserable Machete art and how it resonated with me... but a part of me is also so happy to see the current art of him being happy. Cute art of him as a unicorn, or chilling in a bathtub with Vasco. Like, we're all growing and healing :')

#thank you! #he's been angry and bitter and miserable for so long it feels nice to give him an ounce of happiness for a change #some reasons to live besides spite and sense of duty #answered #anonymous #I always saw him as a character who's unsalvageable corrupted and doomed by narrative #and that the only way out of his miserable existence was a well deserved death #it sounds extremely cliche but I genuinely had no idea it would be so cathartic to view him through a lens of like #hope and healing and being worthy of love and saving despite your evident flaws and failings #unplanned redemption arc kapow #Vasco really just sauntered in and flipped the whole situation on it's head #sorry folks he has a boyfriend and gets regular pets and hugs and kisses now