#similar to how deanna was brought back but now she was left behind and alone

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

#cr spoilers #sometimes i think about how oryms backstory has it baked in that will was magically impossible to bring back #while yasha was simply not powerful enough in either magic or connections to bring zuala back #and by the time she was years had gone by and yasha had moved on and bringing zuala back would've been cruel and selfish #similar to how deanna was brought back but now she was left behind and alone #speaking of could you ever truly move on from grief in a world like that? #how do you accept the inevitability of death when it isn’t necessarily permanent? #no wonder delilah and sylas went evil to keep each other alive #no wonder laerryn accidentally caused the calamity in trying to break through the planes #the hubris of a world like this would be UNREAL #as would the bitter feelings from everyone who knows this power exists but can’t access it bc they’re like. a farmer #critical role #long post #nella talks cr #cr3 spoilers

[obviouslyelementary]

They Them, Captain - DaForge

Summary: Geordi wants to tell someone about their gender identity. Data suggests the captain.

Warnings: none

Tags: non-Binary Geordi; supportive Picard; coming out; Data POV

-------------------------------

Data had been noticing an increasing comfort in Geordi's personality related to their newly found gender identity. Of course, it was still limited to the both of them, with Geordi being highly uncomfortable with other people knowing about their discovery, but Data realized that sooner rather than later, his partner would be open for discussing this with other people. They had been hinting towards it in their conversations, adding questions like 'what do you think the captain would say' or 'do you believe Deanna has seen similar cases', to which Data answered to the best of his abilities, based on what he knew about his crew.

He could not give completely accurate responses, but he believed that apart from an initial awkwardness, no one in their close group of friends would take offense in Geordi's gender identity.

"Of course, I could be wrong. Humans tend to be... extremely unpredictable" Data said once Geordi brought that up again, and the engineer looked at him, nodding slowly.

"Yeah we can be... but I mean I've been getting used to it for three months and like... it feels good. It feels right" they said, and Data nodded. "I know you are the only one that treats me like a gender neutral person, but I think I should begin to tell other people. At least, you know, the important ones."

"If you want an advice" Data started, and when Geordi didn't stop him, he continued "I believe the correct approach should be the captain."

"The captain?" Geordi asked, surprised, and Data nodded slowly. "But that is like... jumping all the ranks!"

"Yes... but the captain has proved many times before to be open for different species, ways of life, lifeforms and beliefs, more so than others in our crew. I believe he would be the appropriate choice."

"I thought about starting with Deanna. Don't you agree?" Geordi asked, and Data tilted his head.

"While Deanna is also open for different approaches, she is half Betazoid, and created with Betazoid costumes. In the Betazoid world, there are no registers indicating the possibility of a third gender, let alone any others. They are extremely connected to their gender, male or female, and the emotions and connections each gender can make with other people and other species. So I do not believe she would be correct approach."

"I see... I didn't know that Betazoids were so... gender inclined" Geordi chuckled and looked down, seeming nervous, playing with their food. "I thought... well doesn't matter what I think. So, the captain... okay. I think I can make myself comfortable with that."

"I can help you getting comfortable with the idea, by showing you many examples of previous encounters the captain has had with different species and lifeforms. In stardate 423-"

"Thanks Data but you don't have to" Geordi said, smiling at him, and Data closed his mouth. "I believe you. I just need... to calm down. Relax. Make myself comfortable. You can't really help. It's something very personal."

"I see" Data nodded and looked down before looking back at Geordi and tilting his head. "Perhaps I could help. Do you remember when Lore came over to the Enterprise?"

"Yeah it was ages ago, I remember" they said, and Data nodded.

"In that instance, before he had regained conscience, the captain kept referring to him as an it. Of course, he meant no harm, however calling Lore an it also implied that I was an it, an object, a machine. Even though I do not feel emotions, and therefore was not offended or upset with the usage of the pronoun, I also knew it was incorrect, so I corrected the captain, telling him that if he kept referring to Lore as it, he was indirectly referring to me as an it as well, and it was not correct for I am male. And he understood. Not only understood but apologized, and corrected himself, calling Lore by male pronouns even after he had bad actions towards us. Does that help you in any way feel more relaxed towards the captain?"

"Honestly? Yeah" Geordi chuckled and reached out, taking Data's hand on their own. "Thanks Data. You're... amazing."

"So are you" Data said, still as a matter of fact, but also softer, sweeter in a way. At least he tried to sound more romantic.  

The rest of the dinner went well, calm and relaxing, and Geordi seemed even more relaxed.

 Another two months passed before Geordi took their final decision. After a talk with Data, they decided they would tell the captain about their gender identity, but they needed moral support, so Geordi requested Data would stay with them as they talked to the captain.

And Data, of course, agreed.

During a diplomatic mission, one where Picard was not busy at all, Geordi decided to make their move. In a quiet, uneventful evening, they went to the bridge and called Data to their side, requesting to talk to the captain alone. With a nod and standing up from his chair, Picard turned to Riker and pointed to him.

"Number one, you have the bridge. Mister LaForge, Mister Data, to my ready room."

They followed the captain inside the room and got themselves comfortable, Data sitting on the couch while Geordi sat on the chair in front of Picard's table, and Picard behind it, face to face with the engineer.

"Permission to speak freely sir?" Geordi asked, and Picard gave him a confused but assertive nod.

"Of course commander. Always. Is there a problem at engineering?"

"No sir, this is a personal subject" Geordi said, and Picard moved his glance from them to Data, before tilting his head.

"Well considering both of you are here I thought... I'm not going to make any assumptions please continue" Picard said, shaking his head, deciding against trying to guess what the subject was about. Geordi sighed, then looked at Data, who simply gave his partner a firm nod. Then, the engineer turned back to Picard and fixed himself on the chair.

"Sir... I came here to talk about... myself" they said softly, looking down at their hands. "About something new I found out... about myself."

"Commander, you can speak freely" Picard said, and when Geordi looked up, he was smiling. "Don't be afraid. Just say it."

"Okay" Geordi sighed and looked at Picard firmly, chest puffed out. "Sir, I discovered that I identify with the non-binary Earth created gender."

Whatever Picard believed they were about to say had nothing to do with what Geordi said. His eyes widened, he blinked a few times and then looked at Data, clearly confused and surprised. He then coughed and crossed his legs, leaning over the desk between him and his commander.

"I... beg your pardon, commander?"

"I identify as non-binary sir. Most precisely, agender."

Picard furrowed his eyebrows and leaned back against his chair, rubbing his chin and watching Geordi calmly, before he let out a sigh and stood up. Geordi was nervous, shaking slightly, but Data did not move to assist.

"I see" the captain answered, heading to his replicator. "Earl grey, hot" he said, before getting the tea and taking a sip. He walked back to his chair, sitting down, and looked at Geordi over his cup. "Commander... since when you know this?"

"Ten months sir" Geordi said, and Picard nodded slowly.

"I see... close to our visit with the J'naii, no?"

"Yes."

"Commander... many people demonstrated confusion and even doubts about their gender after the visit to the J'naii. Most of which went away in around... two weeks. Are you absolutely certain that this... new discovery wasn't simply empathy? Something to allow you to relate to the J'naii better?"

"I... thought so sir but after reflecting for a long time I came to the conclusion that no, it wasn't. I truly feel this way captain. I am truly non-binary."

"I see I see" Picard nodded and sipped on his tea. "Well, I remember hearing about gender identity in the academy, during the twenty and twenty first century. But those genders were left behind..."

"Yeah yeah I know... but this... this is true captain it's how I feel. It is my truth. And I found out that non binary genders are still used in Earth and colonies, just not... openly discussed."

"Yes... I understand. Well, I am not person to judge others for their beliefs, their identities, or their culture. This is no different. I believe you and I am content you came and told me" he said, and smiled at Geordi. "I will tell mister Data to change your profile to desired pronouns and name-"

"Captain please no" Geordi interrupted, and Picard's eyes widened. "I mean sorry, sorry to interrupt but I don't want anyone to know yet. For now only you and Data know and I want to keep it like this until... I'm ready."

"... very well commander LaForge" he nodded and put his tea down. "So if you don't mind... how should I refer to you?"

"You can still refer to me with male pronouns, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or forget while we are not with other people. So you don't have to change anything captain."

"But commander... I want to. It will not be hard to remember to treat you as you wish to be treated whenever we are alone" he said firmly and leaned closer. "Tell me your preferences."

"Okay... I prefer to use they them pronouns and I would also appreciate if you referred to me by my rank, not by mister" they said, their voice hesitant, but Picard gave him a short nod and smiled.

"I understand. Very well commander LaForge. Tell when whenever you are ready to tell the others" he said. "You are dismissed."

"Oh... thank you sir" Geordi nodded and stood up, and Data did the same, but Picard raised his hand.

"Mister Data could you stay? There are some reviews I would like to make" he said, and Data looked at Geordi, who nodded and smiled. After a short squeeze of hands, the engineer left, and Data sat down in front of his captain.

"Yes?"

"Data... what is happening?"

"Sir, I believe Geordi was very clear" Data said, and Picard sighed, nodding slowly.

"Yeah yeah but... what? Is this truth or some... phase or-"

"Sir, I believe the term 'phase' related to human gender identity or sexual orientation hasn't been used in at least two centuries" Data said, tilting his head. "This is not a decision they made without thought. Geordi knows how they feel, and they know exactly who they are. I told them you would be the best person to tell this to, because you are open for new ideas."

"I am but... we haven't heard about non binary genders in centuries!"

"Sir, it was a political choice made by binary people. Do you truly believe it is fair?"

Data raised his eyebrow, and Picard pressed his lips together, nodding to himself slowly.

"You are right... I will make an effort to study about gender identities again, and talk to some of my friends about it. I will not reveal anything about commander LaForge, I just need more information."

"I will gladly provide it sir" Data assured, and Picard smiled.

"Please send them to me mister Data. And thank you for making Geordi trust me. I think highly of them, and I want them to trust me."

"They do. And they think highly of you too captain" Data assured and stood up. "May I be excused?"

"Of course... thank you again mister Data."

"You do not have to thank me sir. Just make sure you study, and respect Geordi, and anyone else that may come to you with the same requests."

"Right" Picard nodded and Data walked out to the bridge, seeing Geordi waiting for him by the turbolift. He walked over to his partner and made his way inside the lift, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his partner's lips.

Geordi blushed lightly and looked up at him with a smile.

"Oh... that was surprising."

"I am trying to be more spontaneous in my affection demonstrations" he responded, and Geordi smiled, leaning close to Data and closing their eyes.

"I love you Data."

"I love you too Geordi."

Maybe he truly did.

#my fanfic #daforge #data tng #data #geordi laforge #jean-luc picard #captain picard #soft #sweet #non binary geordi #coming out #supportive picard #data pov

[saviourisms]

Trying To Survive

@captkillianjcnes

Emma had been dating Killian since high school and while they fought like any other couple, they stayed together all through college. The four years they were together while in college proved to be the most challenging as he moved several states away to pursue his career in the degree he would be getting. Florida had been the state of choice and while she knew that it would more than likely be on his radar, it was still a challenge to have their relationship turn long distance. They broke up once because of it only to come back together, visiting each other during breaks and spending summers together taking turns by commuting for the summer.

Emma stayed in Maine as she had been given a scholarship for her degree in criminal justice. At the start of each semester, Emma couldn't help but count the days remaining until each break. She missed Killian more than verbalizing could even express, often getting frustrated with men on campus who didn't seem to care that she was dating someone else. Her responses only showed just how much Emma loved Killian, wanting to honour and respect him even when he lived several states away.

"I'm not interested."

"I have a boyfriend." 

"Leave me alone." 

Those were just a few of her responses to those who didn't know how to take no for answer, not until Killian was physically by her side when he visited her and his old hometown 

In 2010, Thanksgiving break proved to be the most memorable one for her. Emma made sure to set aside her entire week to be with the man she loved to celebrate their anniversary, seven years together. It left Emma speechless that they had been together since freshman year in high school, not counting the short break they took when Killian moved away. Emma wanted to visit their old hangouts, try to find the tree on their high school grounds where they shared their first kiss under... Emma wasn't one to be sentimental and yet Killian had always brought that side out of her. 

The week had come to an end and as Emma begged him to move back home and be with her, they were able to make love and focus on each other one last time. "I want to marry you." She mentioned shortly after once she placed her head on his bare chest. "That's what I want. To marry you after we graduate, to be together for the rest of our lives. I don't know how much longer I can take not seeing you every day." 

At first, Emma was afraid to bring up the topic of marriage, but they had been dating for seven years. Wouldn't that have to come up in conversation anyway? It had to sometime, right? And when Killian only agreed to the idea, Emma couldn't help but kiss him as her mind thought of their future together, her wedding playing so perfectly in her mind. It was the last memory she had with Killian before dropping him off at the airport the next morning, before getting home in the afternoon and watching the latest news report of two people acting insane. Before.. before the world she once new fell to shit around her. It was like the world changed overnight and it quite literally did, her friend waking her up panicking because riots on their street were happening. It lead to her packing the necessities and watching as her neighbours panicked. Screams could have been heard for miles as she watched as some attacked each other, blood everywhere only to watch as her roommate she could have sworn was behind her be taken and devoured by another human being. 

"Ruby!" Emma went running after her roommate, her best friend... but the sound of her scream for her friend's name only encouraged the people that seemed to be in a trance walk towards her. She drove off, drove to her parents... but the sight there was just as bad, if not worse than what it looked like on her block. 

What is happening?! Where are my parents? 

"Mom?! Dad?!" Emma ran into their home and began searching every room, but it wasn't until she came back into the living room that she saw her father sitting on the floor with her mother in his arms. "Dad? No.." Mary Margaret had died from injuries to her head as her father informed her, sacrificing herself when two people came into their home unresponsive to his demands to leave. Who are these people? What are they? Several came staggering into the neighbourhood after that as Emma noticed from the window, immediately closing and locking the front door soon after. Her attention turned to her father as she yelled at him that they had to leave, to get out of the town, the city... get someplace safe. "You can bring mom if you want, we can bury her when we’re safe. We can't stay here, Dad! Please!" Emma accepted that her father wouldn't leave, accepted that she would die alongside him, but it was that realization that made David come back to reality. The small herd of... "people" were approaching their home, which provided them with a few minutes to get back into her car and leave. They left unscathed and with no direction in mind, Emma continued to drive south in hopes of finding a safe haven. 

They found a safe place to call home for a few days outside the city where they buried Mary Margaret, meeting some kind people on the road once they ran out of gas and were forced to walk in the days and weeks that follow, where they cautious of their surroundings. They soon realized that the "people" that were unresponsive to them were flesh eaters... dead coming back to life, infecting those that were alive with a fever that killed them in the end, to make them like the dead walking around them. It felt like a nightmare and one that no one could ever wake up from. 

As they moved further south as the months turned into years, Emma never once allowed the necklace that held Killian's most precious ring leave her body. Emma never stopped thinking about Killian as she remained by her father's side, determined to make her way to Florida with hopes of finding Killian alive and well. That was when they stumbled into Alexandria and continued walking mindlessly. Hunger and exhaustion overcame them and if they didn't find a safe haven soon, Emma knew they would be too weak to defend themselves against walkers or people.

And when they needed it the most, when they need a safe haven... someplace to call home instead of constantly having to be on the run, Emma noticed a gated community and couldn't help but cry. The people welcomed her and David without question, which Emma found to be odd despite her weakened state. She had experienced what it was like being with bad people and being so desperate now made her vulnerable. 

Despite such a concern her father also shared, the community was one they could call home. They still had homes that weren't damaged, still had power... the taste of an iced tea soothed her. The majority of the people that lived there since the outbreak begin carried on the old life she once knew, which Emma couldn't help but feel like that was a lapse in judgement on their part. The dead and bad people will always find a way in. It was a thought a new group that came in after they did share as well, which was why Emma bonded faster with them rather than Deanna and her group.

In time, Emma grew close with both sets of groups, Rick's and Deanna's. Everyone seemed to value and respect Emma and her opinions alongside Rick's due her background that was so similar to his. Emma found herself befriending Maggie and Glenn, their friendship meant the world to her and one she would risk her life for if the opportunity came. Emma forgot what it was like to trust more people than her father, to call people friends... family. It was why Emma didn't hesitate in volunteering to go with Glenn, Rosita, Daryl, Michonne, Abraham, Rick, Sasha, Aaron, Carl, and Eugene... her friends to bring Maggie to Hilltop. Maggie was having complications with her pregnancy and the last thing Emma wanted was to lose another person, a baby... a life that would be a gift to a chaotic world around them. 

They were heading for Hilltop to see the doctor there and yet fate had other plans. Each way they went was blocked off and whistling sounds came to their ears. That was when they saw a few members of the Saviour's at a few roadblocks, making it impossible for them to find a way to Hilltop as obstacles came between them. I'm not going to let Maggie and the baby die. 

When Rick suggested that Eugene take the RV and leave as a distraction, Emma agreed to his request to go with them through the woods. He believed it would be safer than trying to fight their way through other obstacles, but they needed to remain cautious of the walkers that could potentially surprise them.  "No guns. Knives only." Rick ordered, everyone nodding in agreement. 

That's when they heard whistling again and it resulted in the group picking up their pace, but they were caught off guard as lights blinded them. They were trapped with no chance of escaping without someone getting hurt, killed... or all of them, for that matter. Emma immediately scanned their surroundings and saw that the RV had been captured, Eugene on his knees in front of them. 

"Good. You made it." A figure from the shadows came into the light. "Welcome to where you're going. I'll take your weapons now."  "We can talk about this." Emma looked over at Rick as he spoke, as he tried to create a deal with the Saviour's. 

"It's not the time to talk." The man grinned, "It's time to listen." Without asking for their weapons a second time, he nodded for some of the group to remove the weapons from them. Emma's back was currently facing the RV where someone from her past was in plain sight. 

The man made everyone get on their knees in a straight line once they helped Maggie first. Emma couldn't help but notice Rick's expression of terror on his face and that was when she started to worry. He never shows fear. That's when Emma turned to face the RV as the same man approached her. "I need you on your knees." He told her, "Which is something I think a pretty thing like yourself has experience in doing, right?" It was a filthy joke that he couldn't help but laugh over. She wanted to say something and yet someone caught her eye, a man from her past she believed to be dead once the outbreak began. K... Killian?! Emma's eyes widened and she desperately wanted to run to him, to throw herself into his arms and kiss him. She couldn't. She couldn't react and risk the well-being of one of her friends. He's alive? Killian is alive?

"Let's meet the man!" That's when Emma learned the man that taunted her and the rest of her friends was only second in command to the man she heard so much about. As Emma watched the door of their RV opening and the boots of Negan coming into the light, that's when Emma finally got to put a face to the infamous name. 

"Have we pissed in our pants yet?" Negan asked with a smirk as a weapon, a bat she assumed, wrapped in some kind of wire resting on his shoulder. "Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close." He approached the group and began pacing back and forth. "It's going to be pee-pee city real soon here, I think. Which one of you pricks is the leader?" 

"This one. He's the guy." 

"You're Rick, right? I'm Negan." He smirked, "And I don't appreciate you and your friends killing my men. Not cool. You have no idea how not cool that shit is, but I think you're going to be up to speed here shortly." 

That's when Emma could feel her body shaking as she looked at Negan before glancing briefly at Killian. 

"You are so going to regret crossing me in a few minutes. This is the New World order, are you ready? Pay attention." Emma was right beside Abraham and watched as Negan brought his bat inches from Rick's face. "Give me your shit or I will kill you. Today was career day. We invested a lot so that you can know who I am," Negan grinned as he walked down the line, "and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me. That's your job. You built something. You thought you were safe, I get it. But the word is out, you are not safe. Not even close. In fact, you are pegged, more pegged if you don't do what I want."

Emma clenched her hands and lips together as she watched Negan walk over to Maggie. "You look shitty! I should just put you out of your misery right now." Emma closed her eyes as she heard Glenn's cry, begging Negan not to hurt her. 

"Get him back in line. Don't any of you do that again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions! First one's free. It's an emotional moment, I get it." Negan paced back and forth more. "I gotta pick somebody but I simply cannot decide." 

Emma couldn't help as her body began to shake more, her eyes falling onto Killian again. 

"I got an idea!" Negan walked over to Maggie again and pointed his bat at her and continued down the line. "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Catch a tiger by... his toe. If... he hollers let him go. My mother told me to pick the very best one and you... are... it." 

It. 

Negan had ended with the bat pointing directly at Emma as she looked at him with fear in her eyes, eyes looking over at Killan as she began to shake. It was her. After everything she had been through, after fighting so long and hard to get to Killian only to see him standing on the other side of the group that surrounded them... It wasn't fair. 

"Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the other boy's eye out and feed it to his father. You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you're all going to be doing that." With Negan extending his bat above Emma's head, Emma closed her eyes only to hear the bat hitting the person beside her. Abraham! 

“Look at that! Taking it like a champ!”

Emma couldn’t help but scream as she watched a man she loved like family, someone she came to respect to highly fall victim to Negan’s bat. “No! Stop it!”

#captkillianjcnes #thread; trying to survive #verse; hidden behind these walls #( here we go my friend ) #( another thread to add to our growing collection haha ) #violence tw #gore tw #blood tw #zombies tw #( MEGAN #YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REPLY WITH THE SAME LENGTH ) #( I just couldn't stop writing #I repeat... YOU DO NOT HAVE TO haha )