#favorite teacher

[her-favourite]

Closure - please read if you even remotely care about me

I have been having this feeling for months... that I regret ever becoming friends with E.

I only ever posted about the good and about the cutesy stuff but having her in my life (even tho she saved me, she helped me when I was most suicidal) really fucked me up. We had great moments together and she put me in not-so-great situations, emotionally.

There were times when I asked her to message me when she got home (when I knew she'd arrive home late) and she didn't. She she said she'd call me back, she rarely did which caused me intense anxiety. She pointed out flaws in the name of helping me better myself, these often turned into massive insecurities.

Last year, when I have already slept at hers a couple of time, when we were already close friends she full on forgot my birthday (24/02) which broke my heart as she was my main mother figure. When I brought it up she said her mental health was suffering. In contrast, I gave her silver jewellery just a few weeks earlier for her birthday. That whole ordeal really fucked me up and our relationship was never the same. I'm like 60% sure she won't remember my birthday this year... (She never really wore the silver jewellery I gave her which broke my heart because I wore the necklace with a pendant that she gave me every. single. day. For more than 2 years.)

She purposefully never said that she loved me. I told her that I needed that in a friendship, she knew that, yet she never said it.

She purposefully never introduced me as her friend when we met someone. Always as her exstudent. She knew it was important for me, yet she never did it.

It was always me initiating things, it was always me calling her to check up on her. She hardly ever reached out to me. I initiated I'd say 95% of our interactions.

When I left high school I asked her if we can have an adult friendship. She said yes. That wasn't true.

I told her handwritten things are my thing. I told her multiple times. I told her multiple times how happy I was when I got handwritten anything from other friends. Not once did she write anything. Not even a Merry Xmas card. Nothing.

Every time I told her something about N or T she kind of got jealous (I don't know if that's how she actually felt but it seemed like it) and always found something negative about their actions. Why did T as a married man talk to me like that? Why did N as an adult (buy this point I was already 19-20) talk to me about serious stuff) that way etc.

She had been in abusive situations. I thought that she deserved to be loved unconditionally. I thought that if she felt loved by me it's all by worth it. During a fight, I once asked her if she felt loved by me. She said no. That broke my heart to a million pieces because that means that it was all in vain. Whenever she said or did something that hurt me I justified staying because her feeling loved unconditionally was more important for me. And yet it was all in vain.

I learnt so many things from her, both as a person and also as a teacher. I'm so glad I had her in my life during my formative years but I think it's time I set up some boundaries and put a bit of distance between us.

There were multiple times when she messed with my mental peace to the point where I'd have full-on meltdowns, and would have very shit couple of days after our fights. Almost always I wanted to dramatically have a friendship breakup with her but I was afraid I'd be kind of flagged as childish for how I react. But I convinced myself that I just have to suck it up and that E is simply a tough-love and extremely honest type of person.

My heart feels like it's missing a piece. Throughout my high school years, I had (still have) very troubled, emotionally neglectful relationship with my parent's and I almost took pride in calling myself neither my father's nor my mother's little girl. But E's. She took on a motherly figure role in my life. Which is now ending.

I don't know how it may seem to other people, it may seem not that big of a deal but E really was my close friend, I probably knew all her close friends, she definitely knew mine, I have slept at hers multiple times, I even had a key to her flat for a brief time. I met her when I was 14 and now I'm about to turn 21.

One thing I want to add is, and I don't want to compare these two women because both are genuinely amazing (and E was amazing just not as a mother figure I think) , but I feel the most secure, reassured and genuinely liked with my mentor-mentee relationship with N even tho I've known N for a little less than one year.

I don't know how long this post is going to be in my drafts until I'm able to post it (and by that, accept these things.) If she forgets my birthday that'll probably be the last straw and I'll post it. 18/01/24

27/02/24: She forgot it again. I don’t know what to do.

#E #teacher attachment #tcc #teacher crush community #teacher crush #november 2023 #female teacher attachment #female teacher #closure #female teacher crush #favorite teacher #teacher

[just-a-lil-otter]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

So I showed my science teacher my new drawing style and she said "maybe you could draw me in that style"

So I did because she's my favorite teacher and she deserves it

AND SHE LOVED IT ❤️❤️❤️

I SWEAR MY LITTLE ADHD BRAIN CANT STOP SMILING AAAAAAAAAA

#EEEEEEEEE #SHE LOVED IT #favorite teacher #science teacher #my art #adhd go brrrr

[malekiddo]

so

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #comic #dhmis shrignold #love episode #favorite teacher

[rayjayy]

Quotes from my science teacher

Science teacher, randomly when were ment to be talking about Sound and vibrations: and Einstein, was actually an idiot, a fool.

A lesson where we’re talking about swimming: “now..if you drown..you are actually..stupid, drowning is very hard to do.

[he came to school with another teacher, coz his car wasn’t working] me: sir what happened to your car

him, leaning in very closely:it was eaten..by a dinosaur.

Him, when me and my best friend do literally anything: uh..don’t. Thank you.

[my class always arrives like 2 minutes early to assembly] him walking very slowly: we are always so early to this, i wanna go home. me: sir.its 8 am. him: yes.

[my class was playing cards un his lesson and he said if theg solve this one question they can play. They solved it and he still taught] my classmate: Sir you cheated us!!

him: who said cheating was wrong? God? No. us: sir. its..in the bible

he then stuck is tounge out at us.

Classmate: is slavery really gone?

My science teacher: whyd did they go? Some people like to use us, but i wont get into that here

Me:…mr ncube…no. him: …so light-

#science teacher #favorite teacher #bruh #quotes

[claypotz]

I love hanging out in my fave teacher’s room after school she always offers some great advice like you don’t have to get married to find close companionship or don’t get a tattoo as soon as you turn 18

#I never know what she’ll tell me next #she’s also chill with my queer identity #english teacher #favorite teacher #school stories #random

[oursubjectisntcool]

Let’s talk about

Mr. Ben as a new addition to the Pedro character fanfic universe

baby.

#pedro pascal #snl #Pedro Cinematic Universe #saturday night live #teacher #teacher kink #favorite teacher #fan cam

[lifeinspired4u]

#macro #macrophotography #floral #gladiolus amicitia #poppy festival #poppy #international #travel #backtoschool #favorite teacher

[not-ever-normal]

Mga 3 weeks palang tapos may fave teacher na- (Hindi yan lahat nang teacher namin)

#School #favorite #teachers #3 weeks palang #public school #favorite teacher

[tanya-shiza]

New Year Card ×2 // Real Life

I did it! I finished my New Year Card for teacher! Look great! I hope she would like it as much as i do. 🥰🥰🥰

Text: Happy New Year!

#gacha nox #gacha club #new year #new year cards #handmade #school life #favorite teacher #diy

[rainbooksandpoems]

the anger i feel when i see my favourite teacher speaking to another student is unparalleled 

#favorite teacher #teacher #academic validation #dark academia #academia

[venomousraccoon]

my advanced la teacher is convinced that i'm going to try murdering a guy in my class period. (there's some backstory there)

i dont know if it was the death glares towards the guy or #6 on my bucket list, "get rid of *guy's name here*" that gave it away

#satire #this is a joke #dont report pls #favorite teacher #he's so cool #the teacher is the banana slug guy from another post on here #say hi to my boyfriend #i showed him my blog

[her-favourite]

Having a tc has you going absolutely feral because they wished you a good night at the end of their e-mail.

#teacher attachment #teacher crush community #teacher crush #tcc #female teacher #favorite teacher

[swampxwitchxhattie]

When I was in high school I formed a really special relationship with my home ec teacher who was basically a grandma to everyone, she was short and chubby with cherub cheeks and a contagious laugh. I was going through a lot emotionally my senior year and one day was just breaking down and she said “I know I’m not supposed to do this but come here,” and she hugged me so tight I just cried harder. Our advanced textiles class was very small, so we were lucky enough to all form inside jokes and really learn about one another. I think about her often and wonder how she’s doing. Teachers like that are so rare and I loved her so much.

#teachersmakingadifference #favorite teacher #home ec #high school

[wow-itsme]

the partial list of good things that i came up with:

(once i started writing i couldn’t stop for a while and that made me feel better)

“Candles are good. Rain is good. Snow is good. I wish it would snow more. I love snow. Something good is that there are always good things to find! And dogs. Dogs are good. Dogs and flowers and stars and combat boots and leather jackets and textbooks and note cards and anonymous letters and best friends and socks and wind and matching outfits and novels and teachers and trombones and f#s and speakers and headphones and ukuleles and marches and jazz and jazz ballads and conducting and writing songs and playing guitar and music in general and new pens and journals and rambling lists and bad jokes and quotes and other people being talented and feeling like a kid and feeling like an adult and waking up early and sunrises and sunsets and taking way too many pictures and learning a language and watching people laugh and words and wow there are so many things. There are so many good things!! I love life.”

what are yours?

#positivity #healthy positivity #journal #self reflection #favorite teacher #it’s really about the little things #optimist #neurodivergent

[pickingatreality]

My band director when anyone does anything wrong on one of her bad days: I WIILL DESTROY YOUR BLOOD LINE, YOU F*CKING B*TCH

#she’s great though #we all love her #favorite teacher

[doddsmessedupworld]

A little update (05/10/22)

Help! My favorite teacher (who I have told about my problems and stuff) threatened to tell my parents.

I’m not that close to my parents, and for many reasons I won’t get into, I really don’t want them to know.

My teacher found out a little over a month ago. She told me she would not tell my parents unless she got really worried. Today, I was called into her office, and then she told me that she wanted to send my parents a concerned message. I got so stressed I ended up having an anxiety attack.

After pleading, she agreed to give me one more chance to get better over autumn break. If I don’t get better, she will involve my parents. I turn 18 during autumn break, so then she legally can’t tell anyone anything without my consent. Hehe.

I’m not ready to get better, so I think I’ll settle for not getting worse. After I turn 18, I will try to start seeing someone more qualified.

#18th birthday #mental health #mental problems #mental illness #mental issues #mentally ill #self h@rm #cutt1ng #@n0r3x14 #bul1m14 #e@tingdisorder #getting help #favorite teacher #betrayal