#expect some eclipse art sometime soon

[amberluvsbugs]

I'm still processing everything that happened over the week but I'm finally back home.

#my persona #doodle #I am #exhausted #good lord #but man i had the time of my life #Im on an eclipse high bc of the trip #so #expect some eclipse art sometime soon #cause holy shit #it crushed me #and i cant describe what it felt to me so I gotta draw it out

[flutishly]

LBD rewatch, full show summary

Rewatches will never fully recreate the experience of the first time around, for good and for bad. Sometimes, a rewatch strips away some of the joy from a well executed plot twist. Sometimes, it adds entirely new dimensions that could not possibly have been noticed on the first pass. Sometimes the art itself has “changed” in the interim, due to cultural or technical development. No matter what, the viewing experience will be different.

For popular media - and more specifically popular media with involved fandoms - a huge factor can be the post-show narrative. Any good fan will know that a show doesn’t have to be currently airing in order to have an active fandom (Star Trek, anyone?), but there is immense weight to how a longform story that has grown and changed over time is perceived by its longterm fandom. Some shows have huge followings while they’re airing and then basically disappear from the cultural consciousness soon after they finish, often due to burning bridges with their own fanbase or having endings that don’t live up to their earlier seasons (Game of Thrones, How I Met Your Mother), some shows simply fizzle out and nobody remembers that they still exist (I loved Call the Midwife, but I’m about four seasons behind and it very much no longer has the active fandom it had a decade ago...), and then there are the shows that keep chugging along, maintaining their own moderate success and cultural appeal even years after completion (The Office, a show I expected would not have a lasting impact, remains confidently present).

What’s this to say about the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, though?

When it began airing, LBD felt like a minor media earthquake. The show leaned into its vlog-style presentation, integrated different social media platforms as an active part of its storytelling (”transmedia”), bounced between different accounts without minding if someone suddenly missed a part of the story (but trusting their ex-world media to do the job, and also trusting the viewer to find what needed to be found), and doing so in a way that felt shockingly believable. There’s a reason that LBD sparked the imaginations of so many different young creators across the world, who wanted to emulate this sort of storytelling. LBD set the stage.

A common narrative that’s emerged in the years since LBD ended is one that admires how it set that stage, but then adds a caveat about its implementation. Hardcore fans of what became known as “literary inspired webseries” (LIWs) will often point out that LBD was a “flawed” show, obviously not their favorite, “not very good” in retrospect, and so on. I’ve seen countless posts and tags to this extent and have even on occasion caught myself thinking that too. Of course I liked LBD, I would tell myself, but I didn’t love it the way that I went on to love other shows. As time passed and the LBD-specific fandom quieted down, I accepted this narrative as truth.

And this is where a unique benefit of rewatches comes into play: Rewatches can set the record straight.

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries is, ultimately, still not my favorite webseries. It’s still not what I would call the “best” literary webseries I’ve seen, either. It doesn’t have the best transmedia. It isn’t the best adaptation of a webseries I’ve seen, nor the best adaptation of the original work itself. (Some might argue that it’s not even the best modernized adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, but here I find myself disagreeing somewhat; I’ll elaborate on that some other time.) Lizzie Bennet Diaries was, in a way, eclipsed in my mind by some of the series that came after it.

All that being said, it’s also a very good series. And it’s not a stretch to say that I loved this rewatch.

I’ve gone through some of the show’s features and flaws in my previous posts (parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5), but a recurring theme from my recap posts was that a lot of things that I remembered being bad simply weren’t there. I remembered Lydia’s transformation into her Wickham arc being abrupt, but it wasn’t; her loneliness and sense of not fitting in start extremely early on. I remembered Lizzie as being presented much more kindly/positively than what she actually is, in part because of her growth during the series and attempt to be less judgemental (which is all explicitly laid out in the text!). I remembered the show feeling slow, but it wasn’t. I remembered the parts that were/weren’t on camera feeling like MASSIVE stretches, but they’re mostly discussed in-text. I remembered feeling like there was a clumsiness in the show actually feeling real and fresh, especially compared to shows that came afterward, in terms of acting.

A lot of these stem from two main issues: 1) the last part of the show is a lot less well paced than the beginning, and 2) there are acting inconsistencies with the medium. The first of these is something similar to what I described earlier in terms of the end of the show being weaker than the beginning. The second is a problem that recurs across the vast majority of webseries that I’ve watched, but I think I remembered it being worse for LBD is because of how good the good parts are. 

So here are some of those good parts: Ashley Clements’ Lizzie is absolutely brilliant. I feel like she’s rarely remembered for being tremendously well-acted, I think because it’s sort of assumed to be an easy role, while someone like Mary Kate Wiles garnered obvious (mostly justified) admiration for the more obvious work she did as Lydia. Meanwhile, Laura Spencer and Julia Cho are also both excellent in their respective roles as Jane and Charlotte, rounding out the main cast in a way that feels almost unbelievably good. Of the lead four, I actually continue to have the most nitpicks with small things in Lydia’s acting (which could also be about directing), but these also feel unimportant in the grand scheme of how her story played out so richly. It seems trivial to say it now, more than a decade since LBD first aired, but the active choice to make Lydia a second lead character is inspired, even if I’m still a little uncomfortable with how some of her story played out. And none of this would have worked without good acting and writing, especially in how Lizzie builds and presents her story.

The acting inconsistencies mostly occur in the side characters and much of that is also down to the show’s insistence on having people show up on camera when they frankly didn’t need to. Having Fitz be a random friend who shows up on camera with Lizzie was fun because he wasn’t a plot-central character, he was just sort of... there. His appearances feel casual. (It’s helps that he’s one of the characters who is clearly most comfortable being filmed.) But I cringed just a little bit every time Bing appeared onscreen, and Gigi too for the most part. It’s not necessarily poor acting, to be clear, but it’s inconsistent with their environment and it makes it harder to buy into the “real”ness of those videos. Darcy, at least, carries his obvious discomfort with being on camera like an absolute burden (which is entirely believable), but this didn’t help alleviate my sense that Lizzie should not have been uploading those videos.

The fact that the ending is weaker than the entire run of the show is a more serious issue, I think, and certainly helped contribute to my sense of the show being less well-paced than it actually was. One of the things I’m grateful for, at least, is that “The End” is an episode that centers around Lizzie, Charlotte, and Lydia. Part of what didn’t work for me with LBD’s end was the fact that it felt like the show forgot that it wasn’t actually a romance, but more Lizzie’s becoming and growth process, with Lydia, Jane, and Charlotte as crucial linchpins during this process. Darcy is an obvious presence in the story, but the Lizzie Bennet Diaries as a show isn’t about Lizzie and Darcy getting together, just like Pride and Prejudice isn’t a romance novel. The problem with ending LBD within a couple of episodes of Lizzie and Darcy getting together is that it makes it seem like that was the whole point of the story.

But on this point, there’s also a reminder of the fact that for the most part, Lizzie Bennet Diaries is a good adaptation. I’d remembered feeling like it was old-fashioned because of things like the Jane/Bing subplot and how Lizzie and Darcy spoke with each other (...stiffly), but the majority of the show does a really nice job of loosening up Pride and Prejudice to match the modern day. The way that many of the romantic gestures end up tied to jobs is a nice nod to the fact that modern women have aspirations and goals that aren’t just about bagging a rich husband (coughcough). I also still really admire that the show decided to fully humanize Lydia, without stripping away the weight of what happens to her. Except instead of it being a burden on others and All About Lizzie, it’s actually a story about the ways in which a young woman’s value can be easily erased and recognizing that event as the abuse that it is. I still don’t love all the ways in which that arc plays out, but the fact that it exists? Excellent.

This rewatch was the obvious choice to start my Great Webseries Rewatch and it earns its stripes; even more than a decade later, the Lizzie Bennet Diaries is a mostly well-made, well-written, and well-acted show. It also has the distinct honor of being a show that had genuine widespread appeal, garnering attention beyond a small fanbase of loyal viewers. LBD set the stage, performed, and earned its standing ovation. The fact that others came up onto that stage afterward and performed their own wonderful art should not take away from its achievements.

#The Great Webseries Rewatch #series analyses #lizzie bennet diaries #lbd #webseries #essays #Longer thoughts

[sholangagaga]

Ruin is finally out! Thoughts?

I've actually been waiting for the release of Ruin for a while but got side-tracked to the point where I FORGOT it came out today! But fear not, I managed to download the update (62gb on pc! Are you kidding??) and I started playing Ruin!

Thoughts under the cut! ((DISCLAIMER; I HAVE NOT FINISHED RUIN YET AND THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR THE DLC. EVERYTHING PAST THIS POINT WILL BE MY THOUGHTS, OPINIONS, AND PREDICTIONS))

THOUGHTS

Where do I start? The DLC started off with a really immersive intro that introduced you nicely to the new gimmicks (Faz-Wrench and the V.A.N.N.I. AR system)

and I gotta say, I LOVE these new gimmicks. There's so much put into them that it feels like playing a new game, and its so nerve-wracking due to the Entity that chases you around in the AR world and the shattered animatronics that chase you around in the Real world

Its a day one release, so it's a bit clunky and there's some bugs I encountered, but nothing too severe or game breaking. There's something so refreshing about being able to experience the same Pizzaplex, but in a different circumstance and with different dangers and tools.

Another thing that I'm loving; the Lore! Cassie is such an interesting child character (And she's apparently a POC! Everything you see of her and even her voice alludes to the fact that she's definitely not a white character. And her favorite animatronic is Roxy! She subverted all of my expectations!)

And we finally got to see Glamrock Bonnie! His outfit was a little silly (the fanmade ones were all way better imo) but he still looked so cute! I hope we get to see more of him and what happened to him because the Monty Backstory in the Gator Golf ride felt a bit too fairy tale-like compared to what we heard happened to Bonnie in the emails in the base game. So, here's to hoping!

ALSO I LOVE LOVE LOVE ECLIPSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH SO SO MUCH

PREDICTIONS

I have a sneaking suspicion that the voice we hear on the Roxy Walky is not in fact Gregory, but either Vanny or Burntrap/William impersonating him to lure Cassie into the Pizzaplex. Sometimes I find myself doubting this line since the animatronics seem to react to Gregory and he keeps mentioning needing to hide or remain quiet, but it all feels suspicious to me. I won't trust the voice on the walky until I actually see Gregory in front of me. We've been tricked by sweet voices in the series before.

I don't know what Cassie and Gregory's relationship is, considering they seem to be quite close to the point where she finds the need to rescue him at a moment's notice and can also seem to tell that Gregory is acting Weirdtm. I think they might be related in some regard, like half siblings or something, or they might've been friends while Gregory was homeless

Speaking of Gregory being homeless, I noticed some of the Real World collectibles that you can find are Gregory's handdrawn comics. I haven't collected them all yet, but I feel like they tell a story that may end up being super important.

Overall, I'm loving Ruin so far! I've found a lot of things that I can write about in the Glamstar AU, and now I need to find a way to implement Cassie since she and Abbie are way too different now to be tied as the same character

I've already started art and drafts for Glamstars Ruin, hopefully I can post them soon! Stay tuned!

#fnaf security breach #security breach #glamstar au #glamstar fam au #fnaf #shoucan says #five nights at freddy's #shooting the shit with shoucan #glamstars legacy #william afton #fnaf vanny #fnaf gregory #gregory #cassie #fnaf sb #cassie fnaf #fnaf ruin #gregory fnaf #ruin girl #ruin dlc #eclipse #eclipse fnaf

[yurimother]

Interview: Shilin Huang, Creator of Amongst Us and Carciphona

Shilin Huang ( @okolnir​​ )is a Canadian freelance artist and comic creator, known for her long-running series Carciphona. She has a Bachelor of Music in Performance from the University of Western Ontario. Carciphona is a long-form fantasy story set in a world where demon-magic is forbidden. The series follows a young sorceress named Veloce, and the mythical assassin assigned to kill her, Blackbird.

Shilin’s newest book, Amongst Us, based on the webcomic of the same name, is an alternate universe comic that reimagines Veloce and Blackbird as musicians and girlfriends in the modern world. You can support the physical release for Amongst Us book 1 on Kickstarter today.

The first book of Amongst Us is coming soon. How do you feel about the release?

Eager and relieved!! I had worked for so long to make the web format viable for print format, as well doing all the extra drawings that were necessary--like covers--that I had to keep under wraps, it felt great to know that that part is finally done and I can release my child into the wild. I was very worried too before the launch of the Kickstarter, because though I am the one who made this story, I am not quite a slice-of-life type of person myself, and it was hard for me to see value in this mundane, not-plot-driven kind of story as a printed book. But I was very lucky to have that worry dispelled!

What drew you towards creating comics and artwork? Was it a dream of yours?

I’ve been drawing since before elementary school because I enjoyed it, and somewhere along the way, I wanted to create my own characters, and then I wanted stories for them. It was always just me doing what I felt like doing, more so than something that I aspired towards achieving consciously. If I had to analyze the allure myself, maybe it was because people and the world are so interesting, I’ve always loved thinking about their nature and circumstances, and art/storytelling was the best way for me to explore and share those thoughts.

Could you briefly walk us through your creative process for making a page of Carciphona or an episode of Amongst Us?

Carciphona is a long, plot-driven story, and so the scale of preparation required before the page eclipses the actual drawing of the page itself. [A] small moment has some larger impact in the plot, character development, and accuracy of world-building. So I usually spend about half a year or more writing out an entire volume, read it over many times over the course of the years, before I do the same thing with sketching the entire volume on the computer, rearranging pages and panels and entire scenes for best delivery, before I finally commit to drawing out each page in detail on the computer. 

Where Carciphona is like an elaborate set course where I chop up and measure ingredients and time their cooking with a careful game plan so everything can be served as they should, Amongst Us is more like an omelette that I’m making to taste. There is still planning and writing ahead of time, but each episode is much more self-contained, and I do more of the planning of the episode within the episode itself, adding and taking away details as I see fit before I feel like it reads naturally enough for me to fine line, colour, and paint.

You talk about being a self-taught artist, how did you learn to create artwork? What are some of your favorite educational resources?

While I did come across many tutorials, they were mostly short ones here and there made by my peers, so I don’t have any favourites in my mind that I can share ): . I learned by just looking at the art of my peers at the time and drawing a lot myself, thinking about what I could learn from each time I see something great, and what I could try next time to make the next drawing look better to me. When I had just started drawing digitally, the internet was quite new, drawing tablets expensive and uncommon, with no social media to share art or find resources. Over time, I did try to learn more properly by doing studies and seeking out professional tutorials, but I found that I hated it and decided that I’d rather learn and make mistakes at my own pace and be happy than to commit to effective and efficient learning and make myself dislike drawing.

Amongst Us is, of course, an Alternate Universe comic featuring characters from Carciphona. What inspired you to put your characters into a GL slice of life work?

Back in 2006, when I started drawing Carciphona, I had no plans of this frenemies dynamic for the two main characters, Blackbird and Veloce, and when the thought had occurred to me as I continue to tweak the story, canon GL relationships were still rare and rarely accepted. I was even told on many occasions by readers that they hope the two do not end up with some couples dynamic, or they will no longer be interested in the story. Ultimately, Carciphona was a fantasy story about an entire world, and I wasn’t going to risk the story’s reception over a small detail like whether or not Blackbird and Veloce sleep together, so I just played with the ideas of their relationship on the side, in paintings of many different AUs. Eventually, all that did was make me become so attached to the idea that I decided to say, screw it, I need someplace where they could be together, and I’m drawing an AU for real.

Where do you draw inspiration from for your work? Both Amongst Us and Carciphona.

I love a lot of things, feelings, aesthetics, and I eat up all of that and take it back out in the form of my stories. The inspiration is everywhere, from beautiful imagery I witness in pictures and in real life, to [the] lives of people that I hear about or experience firsthand, to the ethics and structures of professions from mechanics to medicine… In feelings, knowledge, and perspective, there’s an infinite amount of things that makes me think, and that thinking is what creates AU and Carciphona, whether or not that line of inspiration can be clearly drawn back to the root of the thought.

What are some of your biggest challenges or fears creating Amongst Us? Was there any realization or advice that helped you overcome those difficulties?

My biggest fear is always in relatability because it’s a difference between me and the reader that I do not and cannot have a solution for because it involves another person. In such a relatable genre as slice of life/comedy/romance, where the readers have more experience and therefore more varied but stronger expectations of a version of life that is relatable to them, I know that even if somehow I become a master writer, I still would not be able [to] say whether I could story that others would get or would be interested in, especially because I am aware I am an oddball when it comes to how I think, how I live, and what I value. What helped me the most was simply seeing that there were readers who did enjoy the stories for what it was, and reminding myself that I’m telling the stories to find those who might enjoy it, not to avoid those who might not. It’s a different perspective, rather than a solution, so the worry constantly resurfaces, but I hope it becomes easier over time as I am proven wrong more often!

Amongst Us readers have gotten to see Veloce and Blackbird as an established couple, and now we are witnessing flashbacks to how they first met. Where do you hope to take the series in the future?

I intend to tell both of these timelines concurrently, so as the couple timeline ended at episode 20, I intend to end the flashback at around episode 40, and then switch again at episode 60, and so on. While this kills the momentum for each arc, I made AU so that I can have the cake and eat it too--I want both their back story and a happy ending at the same time without having to wait 10-20 years for it, like I do with Carciphona’s plot haha!

What is one dream or aspiration you would like to accomplish? Even if it is unrealistic.

My only dream right now is just to finish both Carciphona and AU before my time’s up! Funny how unrealistic is specified, it made me realize that I rarely consider unrealistic dreams/aspirations as worth thinking about as they are unlikely to happen when there are so many other things I want to do that are actually possible. Most of my unrealistic dreams actually revolve around music, a profession I had left behind with an aching heart. I dream to play a concerto with an orchestra someday, or even learn to conduct, but for now, drawing my dreams out feels enjoyable and fulfilling enough a compromise!

What advice do you have for people wanting to create artwork and comics?

The true challenge these days I feel like is rarely in the work itself; there are so many readily available free resources that anyone who is capable of working hard and thinking critically will sooner or later be able to master skills they acquire to some degree. What is truly challenging is finding, and then accepting, what paths work for you. Someone might find great joy in working in a studio with a group on something big, while someone else might only enjoy drawing what they feel. Both, in this current climate, will be compelled to adhere to the standards of drawing what others want to see in order to gain recognition and financial stability, one will thrive, one will not. 

I think the most important thing to keep in mind is understanding what you want out of drawing/creating, and why. Understanding yourself is often not as straight-forward as it may seem, everyone has different circumstances that subtly motivates them to sometimes misdirect energy and misinterpret what it is they truly want. Some people need to be understood, some people want an excuse to execute, and some people want fame, money, recognition, validation. Whatever it is, and all valid, understanding and accepting your own motivations to create can tremendously help you find the path forward that is suitable for you, not anyone else, even if it might mean following an impractical path that no one else recommends.

Finally, after the release of the first Amongst Us book, what is next for you? Anything special your fans can look forward to?

My game plan through the decades has always been to just keep going. I did choose long-form projects such as the comics that I draw, and the best thing I can do is to just keep it up and reach those exciting points of the story that I’ve always worked towards, no matter how uneventful that may make my work routine sound. However, I do have a little side thing with a(nother) recurring theme that I’ve been doing here and there for fun whenever I had time, people who keep up with my social media art posts may have noticed. If I ever accumulate enough material, maybe there will be some bonus snacks for my readers on the horizon!

Read Carciphona and Amongst Us online now and be sure to support the physical release on Amongst Us book 1 on Kickstarter today. Also, be sure to follow Shilin on Twitter @Okolnir.

#yuri #news #essay #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #queer #gay #shilin #girls love #gl #wlw #essays #interview #art #artist #comics #indie #carciphona #amongst us

[androidemotions]

OK NEURODIVERGENT GAANG TIME BC I WANNA

these hcs are kinda halfway set in a modern au bc thats my context for this ! (gonna split it up so its not as long bc i drafted the original and it was LONG) water tribe siblings first !!!

Sokka

adhd/autism king 😌

[ID: a screenshot of Sokka standing on a raised stone platform with a map of the Fire nation hanging behind him. He’s holding his arms stiffly by his side with a wide-eyed look on his face, brows raised as he has his mouth open, saying something. End ID.]

- schedules to survive, he likes to know what hes getting into and if you try to change plans on him without warning he’ll be very resistant

- smart kid who doesnt study, oh he tries, oh boy does he try, he ends up reading the same sentence over and over until he gets distracted by drawing something, working on the blueprint for his latest invention, or with researching something completely unrelated to what he’s mean to be studying. then he tosses and turns all night because he’s stressed by not having studied, but when he actually takes the test he makes a 105, despite there not even being a bonus question, he just answered the essay question so well the teacher gave him an extra 5 points

- special interests?? we got em!!! classic weaponry (think swords, boomerangs, but also, like canons and catapults and shit) engineering/physics, art/drawing, strategy games. he tends to hyperfocus within his special interests, so like for a week he was hellbent on building his own full sized trebuchet, much to the dismay of Gran Gran who just wanted to grow her tomatoes without them being crushed by said full size trebuchet

- (also he plays all types of games probably, but he def plays those ones where you take over the world, like the ones online and azula also plays them too and they end up being rivals, while not actually knowing who the other is outside of their usernames)

- he also talks a lot in his classes/is like the ‘class clown’ and ppl think this is him not focusing but engaging this way actually helps him focus way more than sitting silently, a lot of teachers dont understand it but the ones who do are actually paying attention and realize that he’s generally talking/joking about their current topic

- some observations (this shit is all canon babey!!!) - sokka is great at being a leader and communicating in groups he’s in but he really really struggles in front of crowds, one-on-one and sokka can talk well, joke and stuff but as soon as he’s separate from other people and everyone is just listening he clams up (solar eclipse pt 1). he also loves to joke and make people laugh, and a lot of the time he misinterprets stuff because he’s autistic but he also will realize this and do it anyway because he thinks it’s funny and he likes laughing with his friends (idk if this happens in canon but i do this and sokka does too bc i said so :^). He also takes up the protector/comforting role but despite his best intentions he can sometimes say insensitive stuff and not even realize what he’s done to upset people (when he happily told aang ‘the whole world thinks your dead!’) works best when he feels needed, if he feels unnecessary or like something doesnt matter he struggles to complete it (i feel like the beginning of sokka’s master rlly demonstrates what i mean here), and this goes both ways, he will put too much value into certain things that he cares about and can get his priorities mixed if he’s focused too much on what he believes matters more than what might be most pressing (zuko destroyed his suki sculpture, oh right bc he was attacking aang)

Katara

she also has adhd/autism, (so do both Hakoda and Kya 💙)

[ID: a screenshot of Katara, Hakoda, Sokka, and Bato. Hakoda has his hand on Katara’s shoulder as they both look at Bato who is saying something, she has curious look on her face with her brows raised, while Hakoda looks exasperated. Sokka beside him his also looking curiously up at Bato, with one brow raised and the other furrowed. Bato has a neutral expression on his face as he speaks. End ID.]

- palms sweaty thoughts spaghetti, she tries to be practical bc she thinks someone needs to be but really her brain is like a runaway train, she sees something that needs doing and is like, guess ill do that now! and drops whatever she was doing first. she can get very anxious because of this because all the thing that need doing start to pile up because theyre all in her brain at once. that and as much as she tries to be practical she’s very impulsive, getting help from other people really helps alleviate this stuff

- interacting w ppl, when she was only part of her own smaller community she had a lot less toll on her, bc she knew everyone and was used to them, as she meets more people she gets really frustrated with how many people seem to refuse to say what they really mean. Katara is very straightforward herself and she says what she means, so even tho she gets more and more perceptive when interacting with new people, she resents how much she has to work just to decipher what people really mean half the time.

- caring for ppl, with people she cares about communicating is much easier bc she knows them, so she’s very open about her feelings around these people, and she can be hyper empathetic at times, but then sometimes she will say SUPER insensitive stuff off the cuff because she’s just very impulsive and she might regret it after the fact but she really struggles with apologizing because being wrong makes her feel like ppl are going to reject her

- perceptions, she knows what’s expected of her by the world, but she really rejects the idea that she has to stay in her role. still, she has internalized a lot of these expectations and tries to perform them, even when she sometimes struggles. beyond herself, she’s very certain about what she knows is wrong and has a strong moral code, she sees something wrong and she wants to fix it.

- she’s awful in school, not because she’s not smart, but she’s smart in ways that society does not appreciate. she doesnt care at all about all the worksheets and math she’s never gonna use, and all the history that got distorted, she’s much better at learning stuff on her own and she will go on deep dives of subjects she cares about and is super knowledgeable abt them.

also:

[ID: A cropped screenshot of Sokka with his arms extended outwards, palms flat as he gestures. He has a slight grin on his face with his mouth open to speak, eyebrows raised and looking at the viewer calmly. He’s wearing his usual blue tunic with the Earth Rumble XI belt along with his earth kingdom bag hanging across his chest. The text on the image says, “This post made by ADHD Sokka gang. End ID.]

[ID: a cropped screenshot of Hakoda, he has a serious expression on his face as he looks ahead. The text on the post reads, “This post made by ADHD Hakoda gang.” End ID.]

from this post (part of what inspired me to write these out) @meteor-sword​ now just katara needs one 😄

adhd aang next, i will finally live up to my url (will edit with a link when i post)

#a:tla #atla #katara #sokka #avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #hakoda #adhd headcanon #autistic headcanon #water siblings #image described

[ikevamp-annalyne]

Apple bite [Leonardo Da Vinci x MC] [NSFW]

Hello there!!! ლ(⌒▽⌒ლ) I posted this one-shot on my Ao3 and thought I could post it there as well. It is long, I am sorry about this! And also nsfw. The theme I went with is lingerie and it is from Leonardo's pov. I hope you will like it ｡(*^▽^*)ゞ

✿.｡.:* ☆:**:..:**:.☆*.:｡.✿.｡.:* ☆:**:..:**:.☆*.:｡.✿

The scent of apples drizzled in homemade caramel took over the whole corridor, spreading like some sweet wings calling the very core of my stomach. Only one person could make something so tasty, so flavoured and enticing: I was making my way towards this very person, also known as the prettiest woman on Earth.

My dear Cara Mia.

Ah, spotted. As I thought, she was in the kitchen preparing a midnight snack. And since it dealt with apples, I knew it was for me. Due to some circumstances -I might or might not have been in the library reading about astronomy stuff and eventually fallen asleep amidst the books…- I did not have any dinner. Knowing this, I could have bet Cara Mia was preparing something for me to eat.

I snickered inside the kitchen and approached her with the slow pacing of cats, the discreet and charming flutters of my cloak covered by the ticking of the clock and the soft whisper of the oven. But to no avail: as soon as my hands wrapped around her plumpy waist, a smile crawled its way on her beautiful features, eclipsing the light of the world and attracting me towards her like gravity.

"You know your smell of cigarillo always gives you away, Leo?"

I smirked as my lips found the path to her uncovered neck; the peachy-like skin was inviting me wordlessly to cover it under countless feather-like kisses. In all innocence, of course.

"Oops. Found before I could even make you jump out of surprise."

She turned around a bit -finally letting me get a good look at her face that I missed so much- and hit me with the spoon she had in hand. Hah, such a tease. I was a bit too much of a good teacher...

"Ouch, Cara Mia. It hurts." I said playfully while licking her ear, nibbling on her lobe, sucking a moan out of her pink and seducing open lips.

"As if I were to believe you, Siñor I-like-to-sleep-in-the-library-and-forget-to-eat." She counterattacked with a flick on my forehead, her voice only displaying the purest affection ever felt.

The years we had already spent together reflected oh-so-well in our incessant and unending banter: teasing each other had become our habit, our own little display of love -alongside the night-long chats we had discussing on a wide range of topics and the amazing love sessions we would have together. We might not be together every single second of the day, but the deep love we had was enough to fulfill us while we were away. However, when we were finally reuniting, no more separated by work or personal time, we had this urgent and dire need to feel each other, even with the simplest of touch. Romantic or platonic, innocent or sexual, you would always find our bodies glued to each other, tied by the fingers, the hands, the arms -the lips whenever we were out of sight.

This was what was happening at this moment: after being away from her a whole afternoon, my hands were animated by their own lives and were just covering her sensitive skin with caresses and warmth. Her voice was softly echoing through the empty -except for us two- room. She dropped the spoon on the counter to properly face me, turning on her feet to close the small gap our bodies were suffering from. The smile on her defined mouth was breathtaking. She always had this silly fear of me getting tired of her, when she was effortlessly pulling me to her every second. Every smile she shot me, every look she sent me, every breath she took would tug on my heartstrings and make me unable to avert my gaze from her essence.

"I love you so much I wonder if you are a witch who put a spell on me." I laughed while kissing the tip of her nose, earning a cute laugh from her, my heart skipping a beat in the meantime.

"Well, if it helps keeping you by my side…"

Her thin yet firm arms found their way to my neck, hanging on it and charmingly attracting me downwards, my face barely inches from hers. She smiled this killing smirk she would show me sometimes, and it was enough to scatter my resolution to wait for our bedroom to make her mine once again, to melt in her embrace and abandon myself to her undying love. A love I would give up everything for.

Maybe my own beliefs…?

I put aside these thoughts and threw the last pieces of resolve in me to unbutton her shirt and slide my hands on her bare skin, only the corset preventing me from going further. I was ready to tear it apart when I realised I had never seen  it before.

This beautiful black colour, as deep as the night hiding our most sacred secrets, was outstanding on her pale skin tone. The contrast was like a work of art, a striking black and white painting drowned in sfumato and chiaroscuro. My painter fingers had this urge to draw all the curves of her body, to slide my fingertips on her silhouette and engrave it forever in my mind and my body. The corset showed her full breast, such a feast for the eye, a feast I had seen hundreds of times but I still could not get enough of it. The boning right under her chest made it look even more prominent: it looked like mouthwatering peaches, their soft skin appealing my lips to shower them with kiss marks. The corset shape flattered her waist, the end of it reaching just above her hips; these hips I could die for as they were so full, attractive, seducing. The front was tied by a black sleek ribbon, one that I could feel sliding through the eyelets and my fingers as I untied it in my mind.

I was mentally undressing her and I had no regrets nor guilty feelings.

A smirk played on my lips as I looked at her panties; these pants that she shortened to make it look like some sort of shorts. Something she had picked up from her time; I can still remember these strange underwear she still had from her modern time. She had to get used to the ones from here: long pants with lace reaching above the knees with a slit. She had told me underwear in her time were shorter; “so that we can slide them off easily when we go to the toilets!” she explained when she put the underwear away in front of me. I was not the least surprised when she asked a sewer in Paris to have the panties shortened and reaching the middle of her thighs.

Not that I minded, of course. The more skin I could see, the happier I was.

I licked my lips absentmindedly while sliding my fingers on her skin, playing with the lace and ribbons and pulling the elastic before slapping it on her bare skin; red coloured her shiny skin and called me to drown her in my own colours. I came closer, brought my lips to her neck and kissed, sucked, licked all the flesh under my mouth. My lips were drawing circles and spirals on her, her body becoming a canvas I was ready to stain. I nibbled on her neck and her voice rang in the empty kitchen, echoing against the frying pans and saucepans. Her reflection could be seen on the kitchen utensils, her mouth agape and her breath blurring the silverware with vapour.

I caressed her cheek, drew the contour of her jawline and ravish her lips while throwing her clothes all over the kitchen: her shirt on the stove, her skirt on the table, her socks on the counter and her shoes on the floor. Anyone could come by but honestly, I could not care less… But then I saw her orgasmic face -teary eyes and blushing cheeks- and I slammed the door. And locked it.

No one will ever see this marvelously splendid sex expression aside from me.

“Leo-nardo…”

Oh God, here was the sexiest groan ever: it was the only time her voice would get so low and husky, filled with excitement and desire, full of expectations and ready for our love-making. I hurried to her side, put my hands under her bottoms and brought her close to me. Her legs found their way around my waist, my lips grew daring and kissed her so much her own turned red and swollen. I sat her on the counter, clearing out the surface and throwing the tea towels and utensils all over the place. She moaned under me, her whispering groans ringing in my ears like Heaven trumpets of joy. I let my lips taste her breast; my hands were already undressing her from her -now useless- panties. The fabric slid through my fingers and felt like a caress on my hot skin. I smirked when I got rid of it and had the most exciting painting in front of me.

My beautiful Cara Mia, naked with flushed and pink cheeks, teary eyes and mouth breathing hot, only a beautiful dark corset covering her last pieces of skin.

“A sight to see…” I heard myself groaning. “You are beautiful, Cara Mia.”

I pulled her closer to me: I kissed her breast, my tongue left trails of saliva on her bare skin before following the line of her corset. I came down, down, down, until my lips caught the end of the ribbon tying the fabric together. I raised my eyes, staring at her glittering orbs and smiling as I bit the ribbon and pulled it out with my teeth. She let the sweetest moans escape her lips as the corset opened and finally revealed the best artwork: her breast. Full, round, prominent, with nipples as reddish pink as tasty cherries. I knew I had the most wicked grin ever; I even allowed myself to giggle as I kissed her lower abdomen and I felt her shivering under me. My tongue alternated with my lips to mark her skin with love, from her navel to her stomach and then her beautiful breast.

I tasted her chest, wrapping my lips around her nipple while playing with the other with my fingers. I caressed, pinched gently, kissed and sucked, I even lapped a bit when my hands stroked her sides, her waist and eventually her hips and bottoms. She sighed ecstatic breaths: her body was deliciously crossed by shivers of upcoming pleasure. I giggled and let the naughty beast come out; I grabbed her bottocks, kneading them like tasty buns of fresh bread, and my tongue ran all over her upper body. The breast, the stomach, he navel, the lower abdomen… Each line of saliva left by it got moans out of her, stronger at every passage. My lips then reached her sex. I looked straight in her feverish eyes as I licked the sensitive skin and kissed her lower lips. The groans I earned from her tickled my inner thighs. Just her voice made me excited and craving for her even more. I smiled through my kissing session: I played with her most sensitive part, slightly sucking on it and taking great delight in her orgasmic moans. My fingers joined the dance, tucking them into her wetness the most gently I could. I was always afraid of hurting her in the process: I knew how us, men, could be rough when horny.

And bringing pain to her was the least thing I wanted to do.

I would rather die or end up in an eternal void.

My lips kissed every part I could, my tongue ran all over the place and I removed my fingers from inside to caress her inner thighs. I came closer, replaced the emptiness left by my fingers by my tongue, penetrating her very core with my taste-testing muscle. The sounds she made were the sweetest melody, strengthening at every movement I made and making my own core twitch with burning desire. A hand abandoned her thigh and unbuckled my belt. But then I remember she liked it a bit too much when I was completely naked, slave to her hands and captive to her desire. I threw my boots away, got rid of any piece of clothes I had on me before undressing from my trousers.

My tongue was still busy pleasuring my Cara Mia when I heard the very distinct sound of her soon-to-come relief. Oh non, you were not getting it until I felt you around my most intimate part. I pulled off and got up. Her flushing face looked at me in daze as I came in for a passionate, feverish and delightful kiss.

“Wait for me, Cara Mia… Can I come in?”

She shot this incredibly soft and kind smile as she opened her arms to me. She embraced me, bringing me closer to her, our skins rubbing against each other in sensual waves, brushing my hair aside and losing her hands in the messy locks, and sweetly whispering in my ear:

“Please, Leonardo, make me yours…”

I ravished her another kiss; we were losing our souls in this deep exchange and we shared the most intimate groans. I was always so ecstatic to share all these muffled screams with her; it felt like our pleasure was mingling together and becoming one in our own little world, the place only the both of us knew and will ever know. I softly sucked on her lips, licked the corners of her mouth and grabbed her hips, bringing them closer to my own and earning a sweet cry of pleasure from her -I could also hear my own voice growling at the contact. I gently entered her, doing my best to control my desire and not go wild with my thrusts. Every time we made love, I was doing my best to be the gentler possible: I wanted her to feel the sweetest pleasure possible. I wanted to be the only one to make her this excited. I wanted her to remember every part of my body, my skin, my flesh, and print my marks on each of her orgasms. I wanted to be the only one for her, the only lover she will ever crave for.

When did I become so deeply attached to her…? I could no longer see myself without her by my side…

A sweet moan of pleasure cut me into my train of thoughts. My eyes drifted towards her and what I saw made my heart race: teary eyes full of pleasure and desire, red cheeks stained with sweat from her and I, open mouth and swollen red lips… I dived in for another kiss and groaned at every movement we made: my needy thrusts, her spasms of pleasure, our joined moans.The heat was getting us and I felt dizzy as I entered her intimate sanctuary faster and stronger. The pleasure was making our breathing erratic. We were both on the verge, but I could not help myself : I came in for another kiss, my hand caressed her inner thighs, I let my fingers tickle her intimacy and rub on her pleasure organ, I nibbled on her ear and licked her jawline.

I did not think it would earn me nails planting on my back and scratching my bare skin. Ah, why this simple contact made me almost come…? I giggled and pecked her sweet lips, seeing a frown form on her pretty face:

“Leo-aaah, why are you, haaaah, giggling like this- mmhh!”

I took her hand into mine and intertwined our fingers while withdrawing from her warm privacy and slowly entering her, letting her body feel every inch of my manliness. Her moan was loud, her body shivered and I felt all her muscles twitching against me. I growled and squeezed her hands tighter as I came in her, filling her with my most intimate fluid. I gently removed myself from her and wiped her with a nearby towel -we would take it with us to not leave any hint, so…-. She blushed at the attention: I knew she was soft to these small gestures I would spoil her with. I laughed at her shyness and kissed her on the cheek.

“Leo…” her voice rang in the air when I held her princess-like and covered her skin in soft kisses.

“Hm? What’s going on, Cara Mia?” I knew I sounded worried; her eyes were avoiding me.

“Do, did you like the lingerie I was wearing today? I bought it for you, so…”

I smiled so much my jaws were painful. I hugged her tight, our past love-making still lingering on our skins. I kissed her softly, deeply, a candy-like kiss with the sugar running into our veins. I gently sucked on her neck and imperceptibly ran my fangs on her skin.

“I did.” I whisper into her ear before diving my eyes into hers and smiling the most tenderly possible while kissing her cheek. “You could wear a sack that I would not care less. I love you, no matter what. But I guess I really liked how this lingerie set looked on you…”

I giggled at her red face and pecked her nose.

“And I realised something, today.” I murmured before letting her down, picking her clothes up to dress her. I slid my hands on her stomach and then cupped her face into my large hands; her bright eyes were focused on me. “You mean so much to me, I cannot picture myself without you anymore. So, I need to be honest there…”

I saw her eyes twitching and her face twisting into a deep expression of worry. Ah, Cara Mia… Always imagining the worst before I could even say anything. I ran my thumb on her jawline and came in for an Eskimo kiss, rubbing my nose against hers.

“I just want to tell you that, following how you want me to be a bit more selfish when it comes to loving you…” I had troubles saying all this; I had to take several breaks between my words. “I, I am thinking about asking you to, maybe…” Was it so hard to say, Leonardo? Yes, definitely, since it was so against my everlasting wish to preserve human lives. “I mean, I could bring myself to, make your life last longer…”

Her eyes widened, her mouth opened agape and I could see tears gathering around her wattle. She threw her arms around me and hugged me so tight she nearly made us fall -making me growl in pain at the same time since she was nearly strangling me...

“Are you, are you serious, Leonardo!?” she asked while turning my face left to right with her hands, kind of like she was unable to believe what I was saying. “I mean, sure we love each other but, you have never ever thought of, this-! Even when I begged of you...”

I laughed out loud and removed her hands from my jaws; I kissed all her fingers softly and then her lips in a soft peck.

“I know, but, I really cannot see myself without you now, and I know I, will not lose you or make you sad living all these years as a nearly-immortal. I mean, you abandoned your life in the modern day to be with me, so…” I giggled a bit. “I still cannot bring myself to do it now, but…” I ran my nails on her still-sensitive skin and earned sweet shivers from her. “I am willing to do it. Just give me some days… Huh, weeks, and I will be, happy to, you know…”

My beautiful Cara Mia hugged me even tighter and I bumped into the table behind me. She covered me in kisses; every single part of my skin had the traces of her feverish lips lingering on my flesh and I could feel my own body twitch in suddenly awoken desire.

… You cannot blame me; the woman I love is sticking her amazingly seducing curves against me.

She cupped my face in her long fingers and stared at me with her big round eyes; lighted by so many stars I could almost see the milky way dancing in her irises.

“This is the most amazing proof of your love, and I will always respect your decision, the time you need or your beliefs. Thank you for rethinking this for me, Leo. You always manage to make me the happiest in the world.”

…

Needless to say our love-making session was far from being done.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp leonardo

[lovemesomesurveys]

surveys by -thoughtlessdork

Have you ever had the chicken pox? Yeah, back when I was 7. 

how often do you do laundry? I personally don’t do it because I have help with certain things like that, but it gets done like once a week. I have a lot of clothes.

Have you ever been evicted? Nope.

would you grow your own garden? Nah. I don’t have the green thumb. Or the energy or interest in even trying. 

do you know anyone who snores? Yeah.

what is your favorite font? I like Times, Ariel, Verdana, Tahoma, and Georgia.

do you know what a wombat is? I’m familiar with the name and know it’s an animal of some kind, but I couldn’t pick one out of a lineup.

would you make a good movie critic? No, I’m horrible at describing...anything. My movie reviews are like, “Omg, it was soooo good! Amazing cast, intriguing storyline. 10/10 recommend.” haha. Or on the flip side, “Uh, wtf did I just watch? 10/10 would not recommend. Super lame.”

what goal are you aiming for this year? Well, right now I’m just trying to get better from this infection I have and take this disgusting antibiotic for the next 10 days. I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m still not, but I kinda have to. I’m not getting into it all over again, I made a lengthy rant in a previous recent survey, but basically it’s absolutely awful because I have to crush my pills and this pill is d i s g u s t i n g. My body revolts it when I take it and I have to fight to keep the damn thing down. My body is also dramatic and I don’t do well with nasty tasting things (I mean, most people don’t, but they can probably just suck it up and chug whatever it is or eat it really quickly and move along barely fazed at all... not me). It’s just causing a lot of stress and anxiety and makes me feel worse than the illness because of it and yeah. Not fun. Unfortunately, that’s my only option unless I want to spend a week in the hospital to receive the medicine through an IV and that sounds awful as well. Ha, so much for not getting into all over again. *shrug*

are you currently reading any books at the moment? Not at the moment. I just finished one a few days ago, though, and plan to start a new one soon.

when i say foxy lady what comes to mind? Beyoncé’s character in the Austin Powers movie she was in lol; her name was Foxxy. <<< Hahaha yep.

would you have liked to have lived during the Victorian times? No.

would you own a Siamese cat? No, but I’m just not a cat person.

have you ever had an ultimate adrenaline rush? No.

do you like deviled eggs? I’ve never had them; it’s not a common dish here. But they always look so good in the American shows I watch??? I really hope they taste as good as they look. <<< I think they do! I love ‘em. 

what tends to upset you? Upsetting news.

what's the farthest you've walked? All around San Francisco. It’s a big city and the streets and sidewalks go up and down at high slants, so it’s no easy feat.

what is your favorite horror movie? I enjoy several, but my top favorites are the Halloween, Scream, and It movies.

what does your favorite shirt look like? I love all my graphic tees.

is your life like a daily routine? It very much is.

were you ever told as a child if you eat carrots you'll have pretty eyes? Not pretty eyes, but strong eyes.

what career are you most interested in? I don’t know. :/

have you ever seen a rooster? Yeah.

what time do you usually wake up? Lately, it’s been really all over the place. I don’t know what’s going on with my body.

what do you think about religion? I believe in Christianity.

what made you feel most accomplished in your life so far? Graduating college with my BA was my biggest accomplishment. Probably always will be. 

have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? No.

what are you allergic to? Tangerines and typical seasonal allergies.

do you ever feel like people hold things you do or say against you? Yes.

what can't you afford but wish you could? A beach home.

what is one word that sums up this year so far? Shitty? 

ever felt like you were putting your life in danger? Yes.

what do you like with your eggs? I like scrambled eggs with cheese, green onions, and spinach, or with just country gravy. I like over-easy eggs with just pepper. I like hardboiled eggs as is or with just a little bit of salt. I like deviled eggs with mayo, mustard, and paprika. 

what remedy do you partake when experiencing the common cold? The good ol’ wait-for-it-to-go-away life hack. <<< Yep. Cold medicines can help alleviate some of the symptoms a little, although I personally find they don’t really help at all except for if I have a headache. I honestly don’t usually bother taking any cold medicines. I think teas can be soothing and can make me feel a little more relaxed. Ultimately, though, it’s just something you’re gonna have for at least a week or so regardless.

would you ever spend a weekend in the mountains in a log cabin? Not alone, but yes absolutely. That sounds amazing.

have you ever been called a psycho? No.

have you ever taken martial arts? would you? No.

who is someone you look up to? My mom.

is there something you're anxious about? Of course. Ongoing things and new things.

what is the longest you've gone without sleep? Like 36 hours. 

what is the longest you've been on the phone? I used to spend a few hours on the phone often with friends back when I was in middle school and some of high school. It still surprises me that I used to do that because of how much I hate talking on the phone now and have for a long time. 

do you care about calories? No.

do you know someone with a really annoying laugh? No.

what band do you mostly always listen to no matter what mood? Linkin Park.

have you ever been to Indianapolis? Nope.

what type of bread do you like to eat? Wheat, white, sourdough, croissant.

do you have any great great grandparents still living? No.

what is one country that you really want to visit someday? Sweden.

who usually cooks or what do you usually crave the most? That’s two different questions, but okay. In my household, it’s usually my mom or brother that cooks. My dad does sometimes. As for what I crave the most, it’s ramen and boneless wings from Wingstop.

ever been associated in a program that was a complete waste of time? Hm. Not that I can think of at the moment.

do weird numbers call your phone? Sometimes.

where are you right now? On my bed wrapped in my blanket. I love that it’s finally cold here. It even rained yesterday *chef’s kiss*

do you tend to care about other people's feelings more than your own? I most definitely do.

what type of lifestyle do you want to obtain? if you haven't obtained it? I don’t know.

what was something that use to frighten you as a child? Ghostface from Scream. I love those movies now, though.

have you ever been on a train? Nope.

who's been in your life the longest? did you expect this person to still be around? My family. 

how do you feel about anatomy? Uhhh. It’s complex and pretty crazy how it all works.

Insert interesting fact here: Nah.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[fleckcmscott]

Watch What Happens - Chapter 3

Chapter links: 1, 2 

Summary: Arthur, an aspiring comedian, has struggled to find normalcy and compassion his entire life. Y/N, a hard-working paralegal and transplant to Gotham, has just been put on a case for the Wayne Foundation. When they meet, unexpected sparks fly.

Chapter warning: Angst

Words: 1,856

Impromptu conversations with Hoyt were rarely pleasant. There seemed to be a new gripe whenever Arthur learned his boss wanted to speak with him. He’d been late to a party because the train had broken down. The balloon animals he was learning to make deflated too quickly. His laughter popped up at the wrong times.

Today’s meeting had been no different. As soon as he walked into Hoyt’s cramped office, he knew he’d be scolded. He understood Kenny’s Music was upset that he’d disappeared. What he hadn’t expected was Hoyt’s complete dismissal of his side of the story. Yes, it was a stupid decision to go after the kids who were giving him shit. The bruises covering him were enough to prove that. But why would he go out of his way to steal a sign?

Arthur had been careful to smile painfully the entire time, the way Penny had taught him. With all the effort it took to maintain his composure, he’d barely heard Hoyt threaten to take the cost of the broken placard out of his pay. He felt a pang in his gut. Less money would mean missed meals. At least he could handle that better than his mother, since he rarely ate anyway.

Hoyt told him his co-workers were uncomfortable around him. That they thought he was weird. That wasn’t news to Arthur - though he didn’t always get their intentions, he wasn’t an idiot. He hadn’t missed the lack of inclusion in the card games the others played on their downtime, or how quiet they were around him.

And he made everyone uncomfortable. Except maybe Gary, the little person he worked with. Gary was the only acquaintance who appeared to give a shit about him, even a little. And he went out of his way to check-in with Arthur when a day had been particularly trying. Arthur would have to remember to try to return that favor.

Usually, his anger didn’t eclipse his general malaise. When it did, he tried to push it down like he had learned. He couldn’t do that today. After the meeting with Hoyt, he’d gone into the back alley and punted the garbage until he fell.

It had been too much. He put more than forty hours a week into being a clown. He loved his job and was good at it. There was a reason he was on the rotation list for the children’s hospital. Just once, it would be nice to hear he had done well instead of being berated.

He tried to remind himself he was lucky to have a steady income.

Now Arthur was in the empty locker room at HaHa’s, cleaning crud off his shoes from the garbage bags he’d broken open. His knee was sore from the kicking. When he got home, he’d have to put ice on it. He took in a long breath, sitting on the bench in front of the row of blue lockers. Sometimes he thought it would be easier to simply drift away.

“You okay?”

Arthur hadn’t heard Randall approach. He slumped a little, expecting another smart remark from the giant know-it-all.

Randall continued. “I heard about the beat-down you took. Fucking savages.”

The aggravation in his voice wasn’t what Arthur had expected. Arthur shook his head. “It was just a bunch of kids. I should have left it alone.”

“No, they’ll take everything from you if you do that. All that crazy shit out there? They’re animals,” Randall stated.

Arthur stood and grabbed his jacket from his locker, not wanting to continue. He’d been on his feet all day, which hadn’t helped his healing back. All he wanted was to go home and try to relax.

Randall shoved a paper bag at him, taking him aback. “Here.”

Arthur glanced at it. “What is it?”

“Take it.”

Half expecting a trick, Arthur wiped his nose, took the bag and gingerly opened it. The light from overhead reflected off a .38 snub-nosed handgun and six bullets. Giggling nervously, he closed the bag and tried to hand it back. He looked around, making sure no one else had entered the room. “Randall,” he whispered. “I’m not supposed to have a gun.”

Randall smiled at him. “Don’t sweat it, Art. No one has to know. And you can pay me back some other time. You know you’re my boy.”

Arthur wasn’t sure how to take that. Had all the self-doubt he’d felt moments ago been wrong? Randall giving him a gift a gun to protect himself - did this mean he was finally “one of the guys?” It made him nervous. And a little proud. He shoved the paper bag in his pocket and shook his head lightly, laughing. “I’ve - I’ve got to go. My mother’s waiting.”

~~~~~

Arthur's evening went similarly to every other. He made dinner for Penny and took a quick shower, then ran a bath for his mother. After testing the temperature with the back of his hand, he went into the living room with a towel. "It's time for your bath, mom." Penny didn't have much of a reaction, a soft smile and a nod. He draped the towel over his shoulder and, putting an arm around her back, the other under her armpit, gently lifted her out of the easy chair. She shuffled along as he guided her to the bathroom.

Penny dropped her robe to the floor, seemingly half paying attention to what she was doing. He picked it up, folded it, and placed it on the closed toilet lid. Once he had helped her out of the rest of her clothing, he threw it in the hamper. He took her hand as she stepped into the tub. "Be careful. Don't slip," he said, helping her get into the water. When she was situated, he dragged a stool over, sat, then grabbed a washcloth and soap to scrub her back.

Arthur was used to taking care of Penny, but this level of helplessness still felt new. He'd had to start helping her bathe about six months ago, when she'd had a fall getting out of the tub. The panic he'd felt when he'd found her on the floor still weighed heavily in his stomach when he thought about it. He'd been grateful she hadn't broken anything. And when she’d first said, "Happy, I need your help in the bathroom," he'd been glad to assist her. Truthfully, it felt good to be needed.

She stared vacantly at the wall as he washed her arms. "I wonder why there was no mail today."

"That means no bills, mom." He handed her the washcloth and soap. "Wash your chest and down below." Turning away from her, he listened to the water splash behind him. He hummed gently with the radio as he waited for her to finish.

She continued after the soft sloshing stopped. "Maybe the mailman is stealing my letters."

He swiveled back around and grabbed the nearby plastic cup. Carefully, he tipped her head back and started washing her hair. 

Penny closed her eyes. "Maybe we'll hear from him soon."

He couldn't bite his tongue any longer. "Mom, why are these letters so important to you? What do you think he's gonna do?"

"He's gonna help us," she pronounced.

Bewildered, he shook his head. "You worked for him, what? Thirty years ago?" A sigh escaped him. "Why would he help us?"

She turned and looked him straight in the face, answering without hesitation. "Because Thomas Wayne is a good man. If he knew how we were living... If he could see this place, it would make him sick." She lowered her head. "I can't explain it to you any better than that."

Arthur pursed his lips. It wasn't worth the argument; he wouldn't win it anyway. He closed his eyes. He did his best to provide, but he knew it wasn’t enough. Maybe if she hadn’t had a son who was such a mess, she’d be in a better position. He started thinking about the sign he had to pay for, hoping he could pick up an extra gig to make up the difference.  "I don't want you worrying about money, mom," he said soothingly. "Or me." A flicker of excitement went through him at what he was going to say next. "Everyone's been telling me my stand-up's ready for the big clubs."

Blinking at him, she said, "But, Happy, what makes you think you can do that?"

"What do you mean?"

Penny looked at him in consternation. "Don't you have to be funny to be a comedian?"

~~~~~

The journal lay open on the coffee table in front of Arthur. Sitting on the old, scratchy sofa in his blue pants, smoking cigarette after cigarette down to the filter, he thought about what he should write. It felt like homework tonight. The jokes weren't coming.

Usually he could ignore Penny's remarks. Tonight's comment from her had wounded him, though. She didn't think he could pursue his purpose of spreading joy and laughter? A purpose she'd told him he had all his life? He knew his timing was off, that he didn't get punchlines in the same way others did. He was acutely aware of that he had misunderstandings he couldn’t seem to fix. But he wouldn't stop practicing and trying to improve. He'd make her proud of him one day. He'd show her.

He wasn't going to journal about the bullet hole he'd accidentally fired into the wall, which he was going to have to figure out how to patch. If Counselor Kane caught wind of it, he'd be in serious trouble. The gun had been heavier than he'd imagined. His hands had trembled when he held it. It felt forbidden. And dangerous.

Why hadn't Randall told him it was loaded? He could have killed himself. Maybe that's what Randall wanted.

The new pack of pens caught his eye, and his thoughts went to the woman at the store. When she'd first spoken to him, he'd been preparing himself for a snide comment. One never came. She'd been unexpectedly kind and polite.

Her stare had been disconcerting until she apologized for it. A short chuckle escaped him as he remembered her blush. Women never did that around him. Even though he wasn't like the men in check-out stand magazines or movies, he wondered if she'd found him attractive. She was so pretty, too pretty for him.

The bravery he'd managed to wrangle to open the door for her surprised him. He wanted to keep it. Standing behind her in line, he thought he'd been able to catch a whiff of the sweet fragrance of her shampoo. Or maybe he’d dreamed it. Either way, he associated it with her. He wished he had worn cologne - she might have liked it.

He picked up a pen and started writing in his messy scrawl, a soft smile on his face. "I met a nice woman at the store yesterday. I don't know why she was nice to me but I'm glad she was. If I meet her again I need to say hi."

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​ @clowndaddyfleck @stephieraptorr​

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x female reader #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck x ofc #joker 2019 #watchwhathappens

[heartschoicegames]

Heart’s Choice Author Interview: RoAnna Sylver, “Dawnfall”

Find true love and family with a pirate crew at the ends of the universe, where aliens, ghosts, and portals open the space between worlds...and your heart. You are a Navigator, one who creates and guards portals from one dimension to another, wary of the liminal sea between them.

Your universe is made of two worlds: one contains the magic-infused world of Zephyria, and the other, the dystopian space station Eclipse. The worlds are balanced, until one day, an explosive disaster, a deadly energy storm, and an infamous pirate—the Ghost Queen—upend your life and plunge you into a race to save both worlds.

Dawnfall is a 232,000 word interactive romance novel by RoAnna Sylver,  one of the first set of games releasing with the launch of Heart’s Choice. I sat down with the author, RoAnna Sylver, to talk about writing interactive romance. Heart’s Choice games release December 2nd.

Dawnfall has frankly an insanely wonderful setting for a romance game. Tell me about the aliens, the pirates, the ghosts, and the alien-pirate-ghosts.

Hi there! I’m so glad you think this sounds fun! Yeah, Dawnfall is weird as heck, and that’s one of the things I love about this story. It’s weird in a way I don’t think we’ve seen much of before. I really just tried to put in everything I find fun or interesting, and that I’ve always wanted to write. Dawnfall started out as a total brain-candy project, and runs on pure Rule of Cool. Pirates? Yes. Magic? Yes. A slice of cyberpunk? Hell yes. Eerie ghosts and faerie-tale influences and memory-sharing potions? Giant bird people? The power of rock n’roll? Yes, yes, yes.

And also everybody’s dateable, and in a couple cases, dating each other. We weave a tangled web, but I think it’s a pretty badass and spectacular web.

You seem to really neatly straddle the genre fence here with a romance and sci-fi/fantasy. What was challenging about cramming all of that into one game?

Thank you so much for saying that. I’ve always adored SFF, and there’s so much in this genre-collection, so many extremes and concepts and contrasting colors, that I couldn’t limit myself to picking just one to play with. This weird game-book is kind of a love letter to fantasy and science fiction and haunted house stories and cyberpunk adventures—I thought a lot about the Disney movie Treasure Planet for its genre-blending beauty, and the Bioware game Mass Effect for its array of fascinating, multidimensional alien cuties to interact with and date… and then turned it up to eleven.

I guess you’d expect the challenge to be in making it all fit together/be “believable,” but I kind of threw that out the window. I don’t expect anyone to find it ‘realistic’ (setting-wise anyway; I tried to make every character ring true of course), and I don’t really care if someone thinks it’s silly, or doesn’t take it seriously. It is silly in a lot of ways. DAWNFALL is a giant ridiculous queer space magic pirate adventure, and the only goal is fun. If you have fun, I’ve done my job, and there should be something fun in here for everyone.

Did you have a favorite NPC you enjoyed writing most?

Honestly I love them all so much in different ways, and I know them so well by now it’s really second nature. Their voices come so easily and they’re all so much fun. The Queen’s swagger is awesome though, and her mental voice/mannerisms probably come through especially clearly. I love Zenith’s vulnerable moments when xie lets xir guard down and lets go of the need to entertain or please. I love Averis’s journey and growth from cute wibbly nerd to a confident swashbuckler (who is also still a cute wibbly nerd). I love how deeply Oz feels, how strongly he loves and remembers and honors memory, and how unafraid he is to show softness and warmth. And I love a certain spoilery ghost-babe and how they’re so full of joy at the beauty of life.

I do want to give special mention to Aeon, though. This is a story about connection, and I wanted to show that sibling bonds are every bit as important and strong as romantic or any other. I also wanted to show a complex, multidimensional antagonist figure who holds heartbreaking secrets along with authority, and is genuinely trying to do what she thinks is the best thing, and wants what’s best for you, the PC, even if you might not always agree. Her balance between being so emotionally guarded and determined and unyielding, while hopefully being extremely easy to read and tell what she wants and fears and loves—spoiler: you; she loves you!—was a challenge I hope I pull off.

…Also I enjoy any time Vyranix gets his pompous feathered ass handed to him. I think we all know a Vyranix, or at least of one, and it’s always fun to take them down, even in fantasy.

Who would you be romancing as a player?

I’m gonna say “everyone,” and here it won’t actually be cheating, because you can romance everyone! At once! In varying degrees/relationship dynamics and attractions. You don’t see a lot of polyamory-friendly games or books or anything really, and this is an incredibly important thing for me. The second I got the idea for Dawnfall I knew it had to let players romance anyone they wanted and show polyamory in a realistic, healthy light. I’m also a-spec (asexual and aromantic), and having not just good representation but being actively included and welcomed and celebrated in fiction is so huge too.

Dawnfall is a romance of course, being part of Heart’s Choice, but one of the single most vital elements for me is making it inclusive for aromantic and asexual players and player-characters. Essentially, I wanted to write a romance that didn’t penalize players for not experiencing the attractions the way we’re otherwise expected or required—and I’m so grateful that my amazing editors and community not only accepted but supported everything I was trying to do here. (It’s so refreshing not to have to fight for inclusion and freedom. It shouldn’t be, but it is.)

And that’s where the concept of “Heart-Stars” and “Same-Feathers” came from. I’ve never seen anything honor queerplatonic relationships like I’m trying to do here, and I want everyone, of every sexuality and attraction, to feel like they have a place here and can experience this adventure without limits. And I wanted to show that it’s a very normal thing, hence this being the same for the human characters as well as alien. (One of the nonbinary characters being human is also no mistake. I love me some wild alien genders, but there are tons of awesome nonbinary humans too!)

…That being said, I think I gave Averis most of my anxiety-issues, and would really just like to curl up with Oz and watch The Great British Bake-Off. That sounds like a perfect night in my books.

What were some of the things you found surprising about the game-writing process?

Coding was definitely the biggest learning curve. I’d never coded anything before in my life, and it’s such a new skillset to learn, entirely different from any kind of writing I’ve ever done. Sometimes it felt rewriting my brain, which did not at all do this intuitively—and also sometimes like I bit off much more than I could chew (first game ever being not only a huge piece of interactive fiction, but a polyamorous romance with aro and ace possibilities, and so many more variables than expected!), but it’s been worth it. Entirely. If my writing makes anyone feel seen and accepted and invited to have fun as they are, it’s worth every bit of struggle.

Also, oddly, interactive fiction is in some ways easier for me than writing a plain old book! Probably because I love AUs so much, and every choice in a game is like writing a tiny AU of the story, so I get to do the same scenes several different ways. My ADHD-brain finds something about this extremely satisfying, most likely because it somehow feels more like multitasking! Several stories in one, and if I like two ideas, I don’t have to pick just one to write!

Honestly though, I think the most surprising part is just being done, and…that I could do this at all. It was so huge, and took so long, and I learned so much, and every day I’m just kind of going “who the hell am I?” about doing all of this. I’m proud of it. I did a cool thing. And trying to get better at saying that.

And, what are you working on now?

I always have about 8 active projects going at once (which shouldn’t come as a surprise after last question!), but my next interactive fiction game is with Tales/Fable Labs! It’s shaping up to be a Dawnfall-sized project, but a little faster-moving and action-y.

It’s called Every Beat Belongs To You, and it’s a romantic thriller that feels like Twin Peaks meets Mr. Robot, with a smattering of Repo: The Genetic Opera. A creepy Pacific Northwest town with a secret (and a rash of ritualized murders), a super-slick medical research company whose flagship product is a 100% perfect synthetic heart, a mysterious new-age group, and a sister who went missing just before discovering how it’s all connected. Also five simultaneously-dateable (including ace and aro ships!) cuties of varying genders! Who will you trust with your heart?

I’m very excited about Everybeat, which should be just as queer, polyam, exciting, and weird as all my stuff! Aside from that, I’m working on Stake Sauce Book 2, its companion f/f vampire series Death Masquerade, and Chameleon Moon Book 3. I’m not always working…sometimes there are videogames, and sleep. But I really hope to have a lot more fun things to share soon!

Oh, and depending on how this weird, fun thing goes, I do have some ideas for prequel Dawnfall stories; maybe games, maybe books, but the ideas are there. The world—worlds, really—is so huge, and I’m not done playing in it yet! I also have some character art drawn, and I want to do a lot more of them. It’s another way to show love.

So thank you so much! I really hope Dawnfall is as fun to everyone to read/play as it was for me to write. I can’t wait to share it with you!

#hearts choice #interactive fiction

[rosesisupposes]

To Dust or To Gold

Part 8 of Another Goddamn Hero Story

read on ao3

Chapter Pairings: established Royality, Analogical, pre-romantic LAMP (emphasis on Moxiety and Logince)

Chapter Warnings: Hospitals, death threats, background character deaths, some gore, hallucinations, self-hatred, bipolar cycling (both depressive and manic), cliffhanger ending :D

Word Count:  9,395 [it’s a doozy]

Taglist: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @bewarethegrammarpolice   @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse @thelowlysatsuma @monsterinatophat @turtally-pawsome @um-yes-hi-hello @idkaurl @potestessemagishomosexualitatis @hawthornshadow

~~~~~~~~~~

“So,” Logan began.

“So,” Roman responded, reclining in an ornate ruby chair.

“Sew buttons!” Patton interrupted, draping himself across Roman’s lap.

Virgil growled in frustration. “Can you please focus for a single second?”

The heroes had relocated to the supers’ gym, still anxious to keep the untested villains away from the mayor.

“We don’t take orders, Reflex,” the Marauder replied evenly. “We’re only here because you two don’t seem as incompetent as the rest of the super assholes.”

“You don’t need to take orders,” Logan said, shooting Virgil a reassuring look even as he spoke. “We just need to know what exactly you can do, and plan how we’ll stay in contact.”

“Asking for my number already? I couldn’t possibly, not so soon,” Roman responded, fluttering his eyelashes.

“We’re not joining your ‘hatchet’ or whatever you call it,” Patton added. “We’re here to take down a murderer, not get sucked into the system.”

“We’re not asking you to join H.A.T.C.H.,” Logan said patiently. “But if we don’t know where you are or how to contact you, that just makes you a liability.”

“Actually it’s just an air ability,” Patton quipped back. His lips didn’t twitch. He didn’t grin. But the smugness was palpable from across the gym. Logan lost his train of thought at the overwhelmingly familiar feeling of a punster at work. He could practically see his dad’s irritatingly-pleased grin shining through Patton’s smooth mask.

Virgil, a true hero, came to Logan’s rescue. “So, air ability. Air manipulation, no matter where the air is, yeah? Inside or outside of a person?”

Gale Force paused, then nodded.

“And you, Shiny Red Boy, any limitations we need to know about?”

The Crimson Marauder gasped. “Shiny red boy? That’s the best you can do? I am appalled, I am disgusted, I spend my life dedicated to being chaotic neutral and this is the thanks I get??”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Okay, Drama Red Queen, shall I paint the roses for you or are you going to answer the question?”

“Joke’s on you, I like that nickname,” Roman said with a sniff. “I just need to keep focused. And my constructs can only be autonomous if they’re tiny. And I can’t do more overall mass at once than something about the size of this entire room.”

Logan looked around the echoing room, designed for whole teams of heroes to practice in at once. “That’s some power,” he said softly. “And limited only by strength of mind. Fascinating.”

“And what about you two?” Patton asked in a saccharine-sweet voice. “You wouldn’t get us to divulge details without returning the favor, would you?”

“I have, as you’ve seen, a super speed ability. I can also speed read or manipulate just a hand or limb to go at enhanced speeds. I can go from 0 to 60 in .0001 seconds, and my top recorded speed is 1,700 miles per hour, or approximately 2,700 kilometers per hour.” Logan responded matter-of-factly.

“And what about you, Tall, Dark, and Muscly?” Roman asked.

“I picked my super name as Reflex for a reason. I’ve got fight, flight, and freeze. Super strength, superflight that can rival the Doc here for speed, and the shockwave you both saw the other day. I send out a burst of energy that stuns or knocks out anyone in a given radius.”

“Can you control who it affects?” Patton asked curiously. “Or is it just anyone?”

Virgil’s mouth twisted. “I can sometimes control it, yes. If I’m focused, and I’m not too upset at the time. It’s not guaranteed.”

“How upset were you the other day then?”

“You’d just attacked my partner. I was pissed, but in control. If you’d more seriously injured L- the Doctor, you might have needed more than one day to wake up from the coma I put you both in.”

“Partners are important,” Patton said softly, running a hand through Roman’s dark, wavy hair. He turned and made eye contact with the heroes. “If you hurt him, I will end you.” It wasn’t a threat, but a statement of fact.

Virgil locked eyes with the villain, jerking his head at Logan. “And if you hurt him, you’ll wish I’d only killed you.”

Roman chuckled, flashing a smile at Logan over Patton’s curly head. “Aww, look at then, they’re bonding!”

Logan looked up at his partner and back to Gale Force. “They’re bonding over death threats. I don’t think this is how I expected a hero-villain team-up to go.”

“It’s okay, Doc, you and me are clearly the pretty faces of our respective teams next to the brawn of our boys here.”

“Excuse you, I did not get three degrees in the time it takes most people to get one to be called just a pretty face,“ Logan said with an frown.

“Doesn’t make it any less true, though,” the Marauder replied with a wink. “Your face is pretty, you gotta accept it.”

Logan stared at the villain. “Is this flirting?”

“Do you want it to be?”

“No, I’m legitimately asking, I’m apparently unable to identify it on my own.”

Virgil and Patton stopped staring one another down in time to hear the last comment. Virgil snorted. “Doc, you have understatement down to an art.”

“Shush, you,” Logan said, blushing faintly.

“Do you have, like, a crush on him?” Roman gushed.

“Please, no-”

“Oooohhhh, he totally has a crush on him!!” Patton chimed in, bouncing in Roman’s lap.

“Reflex, I take all of this back, this was a terrible idea, I’m leaving…”

Virgil gently nudged Logan with a shoulder. “No you won’t. This is too important. And you and I are good, no matter what.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Darling, I think they might be gay,” Roman stage-whispered to Patton.

“And I think you might be annoying,” Virgil shot back. “Enough fucking around. We know your powers, you know ours. What we don’t know is anything about the bastard out here killing our city.”

Logan adjusted the goggles on top of his head. “We can tell you what we know from the Mayor. It’s not much. They clearly can cause some sort of nightmare or hallucination in others. The survivor mentioned the outline of a smile in the dust clouds.”

“Like the Cheshire Cat,” Roman murmured. “How very Carollian.” Logan started, a curious expression on his face as he looked at the taller villain.

Winds gusted around Gale Force as he lifted himself up off of his partner’s lap. “A survivor? Who saw what happened?”

“Yes, a teenage girl. She’s in the hospital.”

“Could we ask her for more detail?” Virgil mused aloud. “Get a full description of events, see if there are any little details she may have missed?”

“It’s worth a shot.”

~~~~~~~~~~

To say that the hospital staff reacted oddly to seeing the until-recently most prominent villains strolling in the front door, accompanied but not restrained by some of the best-loved heroes would be putting it mildly. Reflex had to undergo a brief concussion test administered by a well-meaning emergency tech, and Doctor Vectorious had to calmly talk a doctor into putting the defibrillator back on the wall and stop brandishing it as a weapon.

Once the misunderstanding was cleared up, Virgil politely asked after their patient.

“Ah, yes. She’s conscious and stable, if still very shaken. Her family is in with her right now.”

“Can we see her?”

“Not all of you! Pick just one, and her mom stays no matter who it is.”

Virgil nodded. “We should ask who she wants in there. Who she’d be most comfortable with. She’s just a kid, after all.”

The doctor nodded. “I’ll ask. You may wait here.” She paused, looking around the waiting room with many sets of staring eyes. “On second thought, follow me.”

Patton seemed completely oblivious to their observers. Roman stared at his surroundings as they walked, sniffing the air frequently. Virgil walked closer than normal to Logan, accidentally bumping him several times as he fought the urge to shrink into the hoodie he wasn’t wearing.

The doctor showed them to a smaller, empty waiting room and left them there with a brisk nod.

“Why’s it smell so weird here?” Roman finally asked.

“Weird?”

“Like, sharp. Stinging in smell form. Kinda acrid, I guess. But also a bit like soap?”

“That’s the antiseptic,” Logan said. “Have you not been in a hospital before?”

Roman went quiet, then finally said, “I haven’t been to a doctor’s office before. Not that I remember, anyway.”

Logan pursed his lips and Virgil was about to speak when the doctor returned.

“The patient has made her request,” she began.

“Yes?”

“...she asked for him,” the woman replied, pointing at the Crimson Marauder.

The group looked to Roman, then back at the doctor as one.

“I confirmed it with her. She specifically requested ‘the red one.’”

Roman nervously adjusted his cape and mask. “Can she speak to me now?”

“Yes, follow me.”

He stepped into the indicated door to see a middle-aged woman with plenty of silver threads in her plump braid helping the young woman on the cot drink from a pink plastic cup. “Um, hi, Ms. and Miss Rodrigeuz. I’m the Crimson Marauder,” he began.

The young woman sat up without her mother’s help, leaning forward eagerly.

“Are you really, though?”

“...would anyone try to impersonate me?”

“I mean… I saw the group. You’re with the heroes again. Are you still the Marauder if you’re back?” she asked with a bruised smile. 

“Back…?”

“You don’t remember me, do you. I was probably one of many people who thanked you, back in your Prince days.”

Roman’s eyes went wide. “Sofia? That Sofia?” he asked, voice cracking. “The little princess?”

“You do remember,” her mom commented softly, brushing a gentle hand through Sofia’s hair. “She kept that crown for years. Even when she insisted that princesses were ‘only for los niños’, she would keep pulling it out when she thought we couldn’t see.”

Roman swallowed a lump in his throat. “I could never forget. You were the first person ever to thank me. The first civilian to treat me like a real hero.”

“Only the first civilian?”

“I- another hero did, too. Many years ago.”

Sofia tilted her head. Her bruises were shockingly colorful, and she spoke carefully around a tender jaw, but she seemed otherwise in one piece. “Why did you stop?”

“What?”

“You were ours. The Prince of Sycamore Heights. Why did you become a villain?”

Roman looked down. “It’s… complicated. But I thought I could do a better job for our home this way.”

“Things did get better,” her mom said. “For years, it was so much better. After you got rid of the Patrol.”

“It wasn’t just me,” Roman responded automatically.

“You and Copper Eye. I remember,” Sofia said. “I loved watching her work.”

“So did I,” Roman said quietly, swiping at the tear wriggling out of his eye. He swallowed and settled his shoulders, trying to compose himself. “Sofia, can I ask you about what you remember about this attack?”

“It’s not much,” she warned.

“Anything helps. We’re going to get whoever did this. I promise.”

Sofia looked up, meeting his eyes directly. “Don’t promise unless you mean it.”

Roman looked back steadily, and placed a hand over his heart. “I, the Crimson Marauder, formerly the Scarlet Prince, promise you, Sofia Rodriguez: we’ll get the one who hurt you and all those people, or die in the attempt.”

Sofia nodded fiercely. “Here’s what I remember.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The Crimson Marauder sat on a red swing floating from nothing as Gale Force reclined on air beside him. They faced the heroes, who were more sensibly sitting on the edge of the roof of an office building near the middle of the city. All four contemplated the details Roman had shared in their own ways. A tiny tornado ran up and down Patton’s fingers, Roman created and vanished mini constructs, Logan’s fingers tapped so quickly they left erosion trails on the concrete, and Virgil hummed tunelessly under his breath.

“You know what seems weird to me?” Reflex said at length. “I don’t know if this means anything, but your friend seems like an extremely level-headed teenager. And yet...”

“...you gonna finish that or do you just think teenagers are dumb.”

“Oh, I don’t think they’re dumb, they just scare the living shit out of me,” Virgil said with a quirk in his smile. “No, she seems really collected, really rational, and yet she didn’t think twice before leaving safety to get to her family.”

“It’s family,” Patton said curtly. “Of course she didn’t.”

“Believe me, I understand protecting family,” Virgil replied. “But not even trying to confirm? Not even when she saw others running? It seems like she was just operating off panic.”

“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Mr. Brendon Urie Wannabe,” Roman snarked. But he had also reached out and grabbed Patton’s hand, squeezing reassurance to his partner to counteract the dark cloud spread across his face.

“Do you think that tells us something about how the villain operates?” Doctor Vectorious asked Reflex, pushing them back on track.

“Maybe it’s more than just visual hallucinations?”

“Hm, interesting theory, but-” Logan began, when their watches began to blare with a new H.A.T.C.H. alert.

“Fuck, the harbor!” Virgil said.

“Southeast,” Logan said at the same time. He looked up at both villains. “Meet us there.”

Reflex was already soaring away, a streak of black and purple stretching through the city. A second blur joined him, black and white and blue paralleling his trajectory from the ground.

Roman squeezed Patton’s hand once more, tightly. “We’re doing this, yeah?”

“We are. We have to.”

“Okay then. Time for some thrilling heroics.”

As one, they went from sitting to moving, both riding a red hang glider that sped as quickly as the ripping wind that sprang up to carry it.

They soared over the city towards the water, following the heroes. Roman nudged Patton as they approached.

“What is that?”

“Looks like a dust cloud. Someone’s being naughty.”

“Should we land?”

Patton nodded, letting go of the frame to point to roof where the heroes were braced, trying to see into the obscured area. He floated down to land softly, Roman a breath behind him. They stared at the enormous cloud of dust and debris, trying to make out what was happening underneath.

Reflex frowned. “It’s not moving.”

Doctor Vectorious nodded. “If it were a true debris cloud, it should be dissipating or growing, not just staying static. It’s obscuring something, and I can’t tell what.”

“Maybe I can help clear things up,” Gale Force offered, sending winds towards the very center of the obstruction. Dust and rocks and debris blew up and away, out of the three-block radius and into the harbor.

The Crimson Marauder gasped aloud as the cloud faded. “Whatever I was expecting, that wasn’t it.”

The dust cloud had been pushed away. But a dark mass remained. It oozed through the streets, a bulbous form that dragged on corners and sidewalks but left no residue. It was mesmerizing, in an off-putting way. Colors shifted and played over its dark surface like far-off nebulas brought to earth, now an orange veil, now pink, now a green or blue haze. It absorbed light rather than giving any off, but besides the flicker of changing colors, no movement was seen.

“...I know I’m gonna regret this, but I think we should go straight into it,” Reflex offered, stepping out into the open air. “We need to know if it’s solid, and this is where the alert said the disturbance was.”

“Are all heroes dumb enough to wander into Definitely-Murderous-Glow-Clouds or is it just you?” Gale Force asked mildly.

“All hail the Glow Cloud,” Logan and Roman said at the same time, then scowled at the other for having the same thought.

“What else do you suggest then?”

Patton huffed, and paced on the edge of the roof. “...I don’t know.”

“We’ll send the strongest two first, then,” Doctor Vectorious mused. “‘Flex, you fly in with Gale Force to blow off any more debris, and to see if you can wind-funnel your way in. We’ll back you up, ready to pull you out if needed, or Marauder here can add a construct tunnel if you’re able to open it up. Is that acceptable?”

Patton frowned at what felt like condescension, at this hero trying to tell them what to do. But, with resignation, he realized he didn’t have a better plan, and Valerie’s murderer could be getting away right now for all they knew. Stiffly, he nodded his assent.

Roman cupped his neck, fingers tangled in the curls at his nape. “Be careful, gingerpie,” he whispered. “If you die, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Don’t worry, honeygold, I’ll be your boo no matter what,” Patton murmured back with a grin. He kissed Roman firmly on the mouth, right under his mask.

“I’m too pretty to date a ghost,” Roman complained, but he was smiling all the same.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Okay, Hurricane Gay-trina, let’s not waste any more time. Can you make a wind tunnel I can fly through without getting hurt?”

Without a word, air raced past them into a clear cone that hollowed out, a tube of rushing wind that stretched from their spot towards the mass. Virgil acknowledged his villain partner with a two-fingered salute and sped down it, rocketing towards the form that continued to shift colors. He extended a clenched fist, bracing himself to collide with the edge, ready to use all his strength to bust through if possible.

Instead of hitting a hard edge, though, he just passed into it as the sun disappeared. Darkness surrounded him, the pitch black of an overcast midnight. He could suddenly hear impacts, crunching rock and shouts and screams, and froze. He couldn’t move suddenly, not without seeing around him. He might hurt those near him worse with too fast a movement or a misplaced step.

Virgil had never expected to experience relief at seeing Gale Force, but the tunnel of wind opened up the mass and brought in Patton and the setting sunlight in a joint beam. “It worked!” Virgil said. “Quick, blow away as much of this as you can. I can try to stun everyone if I need to.”

The villain didn’t pause or argue, but multiplied the cyclone until copies branched out in all directions. They punched through the dark haze in dozens of places, bringing in the scant evening light and blessedly fresh air. Some of the screams faded, and Virgil could finally see the faces of surrounding civilians as their terror faded into confusion.

Both hero and villain could see what had caused the screams. A young villain, a H.E.A.R.T.S. dropout Virgil remembered, had paused in the center of the chaos. They blinked, slowly shrinking their hands back from huge, car-sized fists to normal limbs. The villain looked around them, and down at their torn costume. It was as bloody and ripped as their hands, the bold gold and red of a ringmaster’s coat turned into something out of a horror film. The Contortionist fell heavily to their knees, still shaken.

A burst of blue fire brought attention to the other active combatant. This was a current H.E.A.R.T.S. student, not yet a full hero, and even through her mask it was clear she was terrified. Another flash of light and she popped into being closer to the newcomers.

“V- I mean, Reflex?” she asked in a tiny voice.

“It’s really me, Blynk,” he reassured her, crouching slightly to shrink the almost-foot difference in their heights.

“I- where did they go? The ones attacking me? They were… everywhere.” She balled one hand in the loose blue dress that made up her costume as the other pulled up the attached hood nervously.

“It was an illusion,” Patton explained. “This new villain, Agent Whisper. They make you see things that aren’t there.”

“I couldn’t get away,” she whispered. “No matter how many times I teleported, they were still there to catch me.”

“They’re gone,” Virgil assured her. “You’re safe.” He offered his arms, and the young hero dove into his embrace. Speaking over her head, he looked up at his villain partner. “Can you fully break this up?”

“Here comes Mister Blue Sky,” Patton said with incongruous cheer, expanding the existing funnels. Light filled more and more of their view until the full sky returned and the last of the strange substance melted into air.

A zip and a thud heralded the arrival of the missing hero-villain pair.

“Good work,” Logan told them both. “A small bit seemed to split off, but you cleared the area and appear to have fully disrupted any illusions.”

“They got away?” Patton asked sharply. “Which direction?” He was already started to drift into the air.

Virgil grabbed the loose tunic and tugged him down. “We can’t just chase after them!”

“Why the fuck not?”

The angry question was spat into Virgil’s face, but it was Logan and Roman who answered simultaneously, “We need to help the people here.”

The fading sunlight showed just how right they were. Craters littered the landscape around them. So did bodies. Every visible face was bruised or bloody, but luckily, most were moving as civilians picked themselves up out of the wreckage.

Logan was already confirming that emergency care was on the way as he zipped around the battlefield, assisting where he could. Roman took one look at the injured and started to conjure glowing splints and crutches.

Patton was still staring angrily at the direction Logan had indicated was  that of Agent Whisper’s escape, straining at Virgil’s hold. “Let me the fuck go,” he snapped. “I’m not here to be your goddamn hero, I’m here for revenge.”

“You think I don’t get that?” Virgil snapped back. “I want the bastard dead as much as you do, so don’t think for a second that you have a monopoly on rage here.”

“Then what are we waiting for? We’re the strongest and those two both know it. Let’s follow this piece of shit, grind them into dust, and be fucking done with this ‘partnership.’”

Virgil’s grip slackened for a second as he looked around them, a cloud of anger on his face. But it passed, and he pulled Gale Force all the way back to earth. “We can’t just rush in. This isn’t just for revenge: it’s to stop more people getting hurt. And it’s because we’re the strongest that we can’t risk blazing through, because we’ll be the reason more are hurt.”

Patton crossed his arms, glaring at the taller man. “What makes you think I care about a couple of casualties if it means I get revenge?”

“Because you’re still human,” Reflex responded. His gaze was level, understanding. “If all you wanted was their death at any cost, you wouldn’t have come to us. I’m not asking you to admit anything, but I have a feeling you know more about collateral damage than you ever wanted to know.” A nerve in Patton’s cheek jumped at that and Virgil nodded. “Like I said. Not asking you to admit anything. But I get it. I never wanted to be a hero. But then my partner convinced me that it’s not about getting recognition, it’s not about the fights. It’s about doing the best you can for as many people as you can. It’s about using these powers I never asked for to do what others can’t.”

Patton grumbled, but assented. “Fine. What can I do here, then?”

“Help me with the rubble? Drop it in the harbor if you need to.”

Reflex and Gale Force joined their partners in cleaning up the disaster zone. ‘Flex lifted enormous chunks of rock and concrete gently to free trapped limbs or to uncover more bodies. He tossed them into the air, where the wind-manipulator caught them and floated them safely to the water.

The Crimson Marauder flew into the air to check for more injured civilians, held aloft by his glowing hands. He was aware of Doctor Vectorious moving quickly somewhere below him, running up buildings and around the square to find civilians who’d been outside as well as in the surrounding apartments and offices. Was anyone limping? Anyone who needed a temporary bandage? Where was the emergency services van, shouldn’t they be here?

A huge crack of of rubble and rock shifting distracted him, and he whirled to see where the noise was coming from. By the time he registered that it was just Reflex working with Patton (aww, his love was working with one of his crushes!), he’d lost focus and his glow went out. He fell, stomach dropping as he tried to conjure something, anything, even just a mattress or a trampoline to break his fall.

A warm impact hit him as a blur originating from a nearby roof crashed into him and carried them both to a fire escape on the other side of the narrow street. The blur resolved back into Doctor Vectorious, and he found himself being held in the shorter man’s arms.

The speedster stared for a moment, then looked away with a slight pink tinge to his pale cheeks. “You’re, um,” he said, jerking his head towards him without looking back. “Uncovered.”

Roman started, feeling his face. The impact had knocked off his mask, and the hero was pointedly looking away to preserve his identity.

Or, perhaps, Logan was looking away because his internal monologue had been hijacked by the phrase, “Oh fuck, he’s hot.”

Roman quickly conjured a replacement mask and slid out of Logan’s hold to stand on his own again. The hero remained with his gaze averted until a siren’s blare drew close, announcing the arrival of the emergency crew.

“Thank fuck,” Roman sighed, and flew himself down to greet them. He explained quickly that his constructs needed to be replaced now so that they wouldn’t fade if they got too far away. He was already grateful that they’d be detached from him long enough that they hadn’t faded when he momentarily lost focus, and was eager to be able to draw back his energies further.

Virgil, Logan, and Patton ferried the injured from ruins of the street to the vans, including both the young hero and villain to the separate supers truck. Finally, they were able to move out. The heroes had acquired a better-functioning scanner for the villains, one that could call them specifically when they were needed, and allowed the villains to call them securely if they should so choose. About to part, Reflex paused, and offered Gale Force a handshake. Warily, the villain accepted, and the Marauder did too, in turn. Doctor Vectorious was more hesitant, but copied his partner.

Back in Logan’s apartment, the shorter man washed his face thoroughly, still shivering slightly at the remembrance of so many hurt. “How many casualties was it, all told?”

“Ten. All civilians. Both The Contortionist and Blynk are on bed rest, but they’ll recover. Total injuries are at about 25 people, but the techs said at least ten additional civilians avoided worse injuries that could have lead to critical conditions thanks to our timing as a group.”

Logan sighed. “I know I should be grateful that we were able to help so many, proportionally, but…”

“I know.”

“This villain is no joke, Virge. 35 deaths and it hasn’t yet been two days.”

“We’ll get them, Lo. I promise.”

Logan looked up. Virgil was back in civilian clothes that he left here in his partner’s apartment, one of his trusty black hoodies unzipped over a plain tee and sweatpants. Logan had changed back into his version of casual: a button-up not fully buttoned, no tie, and jeans.

“Speaking of promises…” he began. He ran a hand through already-mussed hair. “I was cut off, yesterday. I know that there are bigger, more pressing issues now but I still want to finish the thought I was trying to express.”

“Lo, it’s okay if you don’t return the sentiment, you know that, right? I’ll still love you as a friend no matter what.”

Logan sat next to Virgil on the couch. “I appreciate that, Vee, but that’s not where I was going.”

“Oh?” Virgil asked, smiling hopefully.

“I apologize for my obliviousness, Virgil, and for how long it took me to put this together, but I believe I feel the same type of romantic sentiment towards you as you’ve expressed that you feel towards me.” Logan reached out a tentative hand to take Virgil’s in his.

“You’re sounding like a textbook again, Lo,” Virgil teased, squeezing Logan’s hand.

“Sorry, I just-”

“I’m not complaining, not in the slightest. It’s part of you, ya know? It’s part of the charm.” He shifted over on the couch until their thighs were touching, and, receiving a nod of approval, draped an arm around his partner’s shoulders. “I love you, Logan.”

Logan blushed deep. “I love you as well, Virgil.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please do.”

Lips met in tentative sweetness and softness, neither pushing or needing to. This was them, comfort and companionship that felt as natural as breathing. And at this particular moment, breathing was the more difficult option of the two.

At long last, Logan broke off and looked up into Virgil’s dark eyes. “Are we… dating? It seems like an odd term, or at the very least an odd distinction.”

“I mean. We’re already partners,” Virgil said with a shrug and a grin.

“Oh no, don’t you start on puns too, now. There’s already Dad and Gale Force, I refuse to take any more of this.”

“Okay, okay,” Virgil said, laughing. “I’ll have mercy. Because I love you.” He most definitely did not add in the phrase because it was a relief to say it out loud after so many years of thinking it. He would definitely not continue to sprinkle it in liberally after seeing Logan’s pink-cheeked reaction to hearing it.

“I must say, I was quite impressed by the Marauder today. I thought he’d entirely turned his back on heroing when he realigned, but it appears he really is a hero at heart. Or, at the very least, a super who cares about the well-being of civilians over his personal gain.”

“Almost like people can have a change of heart without a change of personality,” Virgil commented mildly.

“He’s still a villain, though,” Logan added sharply. “And don’t think I didn’t see Gale Force trying to run off before you talked him down.”

Virgil sighed, letting his arm fall off Logan’s shoulders. “He’s not all bad, Lo. He’s just an angry human with far too many scars that haven’t come close to healing yet.”

“So are you. And yet you’re still a hero.”

“But I’ve had you, for nine years. He only has whats-his-name. Roman. Princey. Who’s just as burned, if not quite so angry.” Virgil’s voice was soft.

Logan frowned. “Why make excuses for them?”

“Because it’s not hard for me to picture a different world where I went that direction instead, Lo. I… I could picture myself neutral, hiding from my powers. Or a villain, angry at the city for not finding me sooner. Gale Force understands that. The fury. And besides that… I like them. For all that they’re frustrating and have evil tendencies and all the public displays of affection.”

An eyebrow raised above glasses frames. “You like them?”

“I mean, you know I’ve been flirting with Princey during fights. It’s not just because I’m a walking stereotype of a snarky hero. And the other one, Patton, he’s not bad-looking either.”

“Ah, I see,” Logan said quietly.

"This doesn’t affect how I feel about you, Lo, not in any way,” Virgil rushed to clarify. “It could never. It’ll always be you, no matter if I pursue these other feelings or not.”

Logan relaxed slightly. “I don’t know that I feel similarly, or even could, not when I only realized how I felt about you through a strong platonic bond over literal years.”

“That’s more than okay. You mean the most to me. If you’d rather I keep quiet about these feelings, just let them fade…”

“No, that’s unnecessary. I am not opposed to you, ah, pursuing them, just keep me informed. I do understand the… attraction.” Logan blushed lightly, but coughed and continued. “And as long as you’re safe. They’re still villains, Vee. We can’t trust them, not past taking down Agent Whisper.”

“You may be right. You usually are. But, I don’t know, man. I feel like maybe we can, this time.”

Logan raised an eyebrow again. “Virgil the cynic, wanting to trust people?”

“Oh look, it’s the pot, calling the kettle black,” Virgil replied, shoving Logan lightly in the shoulder.

“Guilty as charged.”

“By the way, can I borrow your phone charger, I wanna call Mom and Mama today, and the sibs if they’re home.”

“Why do you think I bought an extra-long purple cord?”

~~~~~~~~~~

D.R.E.A.M. Index #337475 Classification: A.3.i [Tertiary Tier Hero, Legacy] Name: Blynk Status: INACTIVE /////////Reason: Injury Civilian Name: [CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] McKenzie Bleu Affiliation: Hero /////////H.A.T.C.H. Status: Temporarily Inactive Partners/Sidekicks: N/A Primary Foes: N/A Powers: Short-Range Teleportation; Enhanced Durability; /////////Range approximately 100 yds; does not need to see destination, but does need to focus on it Costume: Black leggings with lace up ballet slippers; blue dress with white stripe on the skirt with attached hood Age: 17 Height: 5’4 Pronouns: She/Her H.E.A.R.T.S. Class: Enrolled, anticipated ‘19 Note: Daughter of DI#265353; Not yet cleared for independent hero missions - involvement in IR 18-Z-0015 unintentional and due to proximity alone

D.R.E.A.M. Index #337432 Classification: Z.3.iv [Tertiary Tier Villain, Unknown] Name: The Contortionist Status: INACTIVE /////////Reason: Incarceration, Injury Civilian Name: [CLEARANCE: CONFIDENTIAL] Tai Kim Affiliation: Villain Partners/Sidekicks: N/A Primary Foes: N/A Powers: Body Plasticity - Medium Spectrum; /////////Can alter density and length of body parts; cannot fully transform into other shapes Costume: Bodysuit in black, red, and gold; designed to look like a tailcoat with gold braiding; /////////Strongly reminiscent of a ringmaster outfit, but able to stretch with them Age: 19 Height: 5’10 Pronouns: They/Them H.E.A.R.T.S. Class: Dropout Note: Believed to have left the city until involvement in IR 18-Z-0015

~~~~~~~~~~

They were woken early the next morning by yet another H.A.T.C.H. alert. Virgil gave a single breath to regret his poor, poor sleep schedule before changing into his costume.

Mayor and S.E.A.M. Stokes weren’t sure of the exact nature of the disturbance, but they knew it involved supers. In this uncertain climate, that meant sending their best, just to be prepared. At Virgil’s urging, Logan had conceded to alert their villain partners as well.

“What’s the harm in being ready, L?”

“They’re collectively responsible for over fifteen felonies.”

“...yeah, but they’re on our side now.”

Logan fixed his partner with a look.

“I know, I know. We can’t trust them entirely. But you trust me, right?”

Logan softened. “Of course I do. I trust you with my life.”

Virgil paused, blushing slightly. “I… god, I love you, Lo.”

“I love you as well.”

Standing by the window, in full costume, seconds before rushing to whatever crime scene had alerted them today, Virgil stole a moment to pull his partner in close and kiss him softly.

They parted, both pink-faced. “I’ve just got a hunch, Lo. I think we’ll need them, or at least not regret bringing them along. And I swear, I’ll protect you if they try anything.”

And thus, as they surveyed the scene from the top of a nearby building, the villains arrived as well.

“I don’t see Agent Piss-per anywhere,” Gale Force said with a frown.

“We haven’t either,” Logan replied evenly. “But they’ve been targeting super fights so far. It’s only logical to conclude that any fight between persons with enhanced abilities will continue to be targets for them.”

“I’m not participating in your self-righteous state-sanctioned vigilantism,” the Marauder said, lounging against the wall. “Who’s even fighting?”

“They’re a recurring duo. They either partner up or are on opposite sides, it depends on which muse is controlling her,” Virgil explained, gesturing to the dark-clad figure visible from above. Many brilliant lights surrounded her, with more seeming to sprout from the galaxy print on her suit. Tiny constellations flew towards her opponent and swirled around the other’s massive, cascading skirts. With Gale Force’s help, they could all hear the conversation on the wind - a steady stream of chat and compliments, even as star constructs disrupted the princess-figure’s attempts to infiltrate the nearby museum.

“Who’s this?”

“Today? Nebula. You may also know her as Ghost. But she’s not nearly as active as some I could name,” Logan explained, glancing side-eyed at where Gale Force seemed to be taking notes.

“Yes, but what about the aesthetic one,” the Marauder asked with a tone bordering on reverence.

Virgil smirked. “She’s known as Lovely Darling. A mesmerizer with a strong affinity for princesses. So you know, pretty familiar, except more people are infatuated with her than just herself.”

Roman pouted at the tall hero and opened his mouth to object when the air suddenly shifted and four sets of eyes snapped to the scene below.

A dark dust cloud was rising, despite the complete lack of debris or destruction from the existing fight. Looking for the details, Virgil saw how the ‘dust’ cloud dragged and stuck on corners as it neared both supers.

“Heads up!” Gale Force shouted, and the air itself carried his voice, surprising them both as they noticed the impending danger. Logan was there a breath later, grabbing them both and pulling them away before rejoining the group in a blur.

“Go in all at once?” Virgil asked.

“On y va,” Roman said firmly, and they moved forward as one. The minute they passed into the cloudlike mass, Roman had the strangest sense of someone muttering, Oh, this should be fun.

And then the world went grey. His limbs went heavy and his heart turned to lead. A sluggishness settled over his entire body as he crumpled to his knees. He couldn’t muster the energy to do anything but struggle to stay upright, and he watched his constructs melt away in a blink of an eye. Of course he couldn’t create anything. He was useless. Everyone knew he was the weakest of their group. No raw power like Reflex, no elemental power like Patton, no brilliant strategy like the Doctor. He just had his little red toys. And now, he didn’t even have those.

It was fitting, wasn’t it? Let everyone see how worthless he was, whether a hero or a villain. He could die here, in this cloud, and the world would not note his passing nor feel his loss. A tear coursed down his cheek and fell onto his hands as he struggle to just barely brace himself. All he was good for was tears. How had anyone been fooled enough to believe anything else? Had they even been fooled? Or had they just been humoring him, pretending that he had something to offer. Seeing his obvious fragility and flattering him the way you compliment a child’s terrible scribbles. Who could ever truly believe in him? His arms trembled, and he collapsed fully, prone upon the ground, awash in despair and listlessness.

Logan was running as he passed into the cloud. He was surprised to see it was only a hair’s width as he passed through, coming into practically the same daylit scene on the other side. He kept running as he looked for the villain. Ro- the Marauder was flying on his right, with Virgil and Gale Force on his left. Was that Agent Whisper up there? The dark, humanoid shape was further back than he’d guessed. He pushed himself to speed up, to get there faster before the villain could escape again. He was reaching a rate of one hundred miles per hour - why weren’t they getting closer? His muscles felt odd, not the normal level of burn for this speed, but the wind was rushing through his hair and he could see the world flashing by through his goggles. Perhaps his workout routine was finally helping him reach new speeds. He pushed harder, blurring into five hundred miles per hour, fighting to reach the villain. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his villain partners had fallen behind him, but Virgil was still there on his left. But Agent Whisper was still so far away. He ran faster, nearing his top speed. He was a blur, a bullet streaking towards its target, but he could still see and feel his whole body. Finally, the dark antagonist was near, and he went to slow down to grab them, incapacitate them, bring them to justice.

But he couldn’t stop. His legs wouldn’t slow, his arms still pumping in rhythm to keep running. He was still moving, still in the nimbus of speed that almost no one could see. He looked frantically around only to see that he’d left Virgil far behind. He tried to turn, but couldn’t. He was just running, running, through the city, past the city, over hills and mountains and water and more mountains and he couldn’t stop. How would he get home? How would he live? How would he see Mom and Dad again, how would he be there for Jem and Bea? How would he be with Virgil, now that they finally were? He’d left him back there, surrounded by villains. He’d left him all alone, the one thing he’d promised would never happen back when they’d first met. How would time pass while he was stuck in this endless speed? Would he even feel it? Would he just run until his body gave out from the stress or exhaustion?

“Please!” he tried to yell. “Please, get me out!”

But his words were whipped away by the rush of air and movement all around him. He was trapped.

Virgil was prepared for his first step into the cloud, for the light to cut out and the fog to surround him. He felt slightly more of the texture this time, a weird film that clung to his skin. He strode in, scanning for the villain, trusting his hearing more than his sight, which extended only about three feet in any direction. He turned almost instinctively to look for Logan at his right, to check if the speedster had dashed in. He saw his partner but… Logan was frozen, eyes jumping and flitting around. His muscles twitched, but he seemed glued to the spot. His mouth opened, but no sound came out. Past him, a red-and-black form lay curled in a fetal position, unmoving.

Virgil reached his partner and love in a single step, reaching out for his shoulder. The impact caused Logan’s eyes to snap open as he cried out in pain. Virgil immediately pulled his hand back, only to see bones protruding from Logan’s arm from how strong his touch had been.

“Fuck, Lo, I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry-”

“You always are,” Logan snapped back, blood seeping down his shoulder. “Sorry will mean nothing when you kill someone. They won’t care that you didn’t mean it!”

Tears sprang from Virgil’s eyes. He looked down to see the concrete was crumbling where his foot had touched the ground. “Please, Lo, let me help-”

“Don’t touch me!” his friend screamed, terror in his eyes. “Stay back!”

Virgil swallowed hard and obeyed, stepping back, but craters formed with each step. He backed into something and whirled to see a huge wall sway and fall, crushing those who’d been unlucky enough to be sitting behind it.

“Stop it!” Logan yelled, and his terror had shifted to hatred. “You ruin everything you touch!”

“I don’t-”

“Just hide away, Virgil. Just leave this city, leave your family, hide away where you won’t hurt anyone anymore. You’re a threat to everyone around you, so just go!”

Tears coursed down Virgil’s cheeks. “Lo, please-”

“You are and always have been nothing more than a ticking time bomb, Virgil. Didn’t Sandry teach you that?”

The tall hero froze. Logan no longer sounded like himself. Virgil knew his dearest friend would never mention that, no matter his anger. No one would - except Virgil himself. Logan’s words were Virgil’s own, the ones he directed against himself on all the dark days. The world crumbling at his touch, inadvertent pain against the one he loved? This was his own private nightmare made real. He took a deep breath, in for four counts. Hold for seven. Out for eight.

“I am not a monster,” he whispered to himself. “I have enhanced abilities. I use them to do the best I can to help others. I pull my punches, I take care to not use too much force. I don’t hurt my loved ones. I am a hero because I try to be one, and I succeed at an above-average rate.”

Slowly, the craters fixed themselves, and the wall re-erected itself. The blood and bones vanished off Logan’s arm, and he was now as he had been, frozen, looking with distress off into nothing as his eyes shifted rapidly. Virgil reached out slowly, gently, to brush his shoulder with a feather-light touch. His partner didn’t respond, but neither did he bruise.

Virgil turned, hearing footsteps. He kept breathing evenly, repeating his mantras to himself, and stepped towards the sound of movement. It was Gale Force, Patton, walking evenly through the mist without hesitation.

Patton stepped through the border of light to dark as easy as breathing. It took him almost ten steps before he realized he no longer heard the heroes and his partner on his right. He turned to see them all paralyzed. Roman’s beautiful, radiant red fire had faded. Patton had been around for enough dark days to recognize the despair etched into his love’s face. He almost ran to him when he saw that the Doctor was frozen too, not on his knees but standing. Doctor Vectorious, who was intriguing and infuriating and condescending and so very pretty seemed to shiver and jerk with some internal movement. Even Reflex had paused, looking confused and distressed. His love and his... partners. Not friends. They were coworkers, if that. Nothing more. What had put them in such a state?

He felt a slight weight on his chest. An impression of tears, of bricks and water and twisted metal. He turned, and walked towards the center of the cloud, seeking Agent Whisper. He was sure he was getting closer, he could feel it. And with every step he saw flashes of the past. A dusty courtyard, the Hundredth-of-an-Acre Wood. A lanky child carrying two giggling girls on his back. Phantom hands smacked his and ran away laughing in a game of tag. Two women smiled down at him, hands linked.

Now they shifted. Bruises and blood appeared, torsos were covered in brick. Limbs became maimed and mangled beyond recognition. And voices drifted out of mouths that couldn’t possibly be producing them.

“You should have saved us.”

“Why were you the only one to survive?”

“You let me die.”

Patton lifted a hand casually to push back the clouds and give himself more visibility. Finally, a form in the mist. It seemed to eat the light around it, a human-shaped hole cut out against reality, a black pit that had no eyes to stare at him.

“How?” a voice asked, shrieking in impossibly high and low octaves at once. It was an eagle’s cry and an earthquake’s rumble, unnatural and natural at once. Patton turned to it, and smiled brightly.

“Oh, kiddo, were you trying to make us feel bad? Here’s a fun little factoid for you!” He grunted with effort as he conjured a cone of air, tightly wound and pointed away from his team. His face fell into a dark mask as he sent the tornado hurtling towards the dark form opposing them. “I’ve felt worse.”

The form dodged easily, but backed up. Reflex appeared at Patton’s side, scowling and tensed to attack. The mist started to lift, helped along by Patton’s winds.

Both hero and villain heard a sound that might have been the crack of rock and might have been a swear. Clouds suddenly rushed past them, flowing from their backs towards Agent Whisper. They swirled around them and starting to soar into the air, a column of dark clouds even as the last traces faded from the square. Reflex shot off from the ground, ready to give chase, but in a breath the clouds were gone and out of sight.

“Fuck,” he said, coming back to land. “That was rough. How were you so unaffected?”

“It’s just ghosts,” Patton replied with a shrug. “I’m always surrounded by ghosts. I’m more worried about our partners.”

Reflex nodded, and they both flew over to where Roman and the Doctor were recovering. Patton was immediately kneeling at Roman’s side, rubbing a warm, grounding hand on his lower back.

“I’m here, love,” he whispered. “The dark is gone, you’re safe, and wonderful, and deserving of all the love I could possibly give you and at least twice as much on top of that.”

Roman stirred, slowly uncurling out of the fetal position. “Sunshine?” he asked raspily. “That’s really you?”

“It’s me, my ruby. I’m here. I love you. You deserve that love.”

Roman moved slowly to sitting up, shuddering. Patton continued to rub small, comforting circles on his lower back, the other hand coming up to run through Roman’s silky, dark hair.

“How did it come on so suddenly, Pat?”

“Agent Whisper, sweetness. I guess that’s what the illusions are - a blast of bad emotions, and our brains fill in the rest.”

Roman shivered and nodded. “Makes sense. And I’m already starting to feel better. Thank you, honeybunch. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Virgil half-listened to the villains’ conversation but his main focus was on Logan. He gently touched his arm, still flinching at the idea of accidentally hurting him. But the speedster’s eyes had finally gone back to normal, focusing on Virgil’s face instead of cycling rapidly.

“Vee?” he asked, voice barely audible. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Is this real?”

“Yes, L, it’s real,” Virgil murmured back.

“Can I-” words seemed to fail him, but he lifted his arms enough for Virgil to understand him.

“Of course,” he said, smiling as he wrapped his arms around his friend and partner. Logan hugged back tightly, burying his face in Virgil’s muscled shoulders to avoid knowing if there were tears on his face or not. Virgil hugged tighter, lifting Logan fully into the air and surprising a laugh out of the shorter man.

“Hey! I’m not a child!” he complained, grinning.

“But you are my babe,” Virgil responded, teasing. “My tiny boyfriend.”

Logan blushed a deep red at that. “Oh, yes, I suppose I am.”

“That’s gay,” Roman drawled, standing with Patton’s help. “Dear, look at the heroes, they’re gay.”

“Heroes? More like queeroes!”

Logan’s blush didn’t fade as he glared over. “That was terrible.”

“Is that why you’re laughing internally?” Virgil asked blandly, to Logan’s indignation.

“Hey, don’t out me in front of them!”

“Oh horror of horrors, the nerd might actually have a sense of humor,” Roman said, draping a hand dramatically over his forehead. Color had returned to his golden cheeks, and his eyes were practically crackling with rich hazel energy.

“I’m glad you’re both feeling better,” Virgil said, putting Logan back on his feet. “Even if this Whisper fuck got away again.”

“We know what they’re capable of, now,” Logan said. “We can prepare for next time. Or at least brace ourselves for it.”

Patton nodded. “‘Flex and I are proof it can be overcome. So there’s hope for you two as well.”

“Go home and get some rest, gather your emotional strength,” Virgil advised, slipping his hands into Logan’s grip. “I’ve got a feeling we’ll be called again much sooner than we’d like.”

The villains nodded and flew off together, Roman rocketing ahead of Patton.

“Ladybug, slow down,” Patton complained. “You’re going too fast for me!”

“You’re going too slow!” Roman cried happily, looping in circles high and low. “God, I can’t believe how much better I feel now that we’re away from that creep!” He laughed and created a glowing red surfboard. He stood on it and balanced with exaggerated outspread hands, conjuring a huge red wave that crashed over Patton as he flew through the air still. He giggled, and the wave crashed into an explosion of butterflies and ruby wings sprouted from his back.

“Ro, come on, let’s go home,” Patton pleaded. “We can bring the butterflies if you want.”

“Butterflies are old news,” Roman replied, snapping his fingers. The forms around him melted into a huge dragon that carried him on its back as it blew sparkling fire.

“Roro, please!”

“No, not a dragon. A witch!” Roman cried, unhearing. “No, both!” Crackles of energy sparked as the dragon shifted and twisted into a dragon-witch complete with crystalline hat.

Patton sighed. The emotional manipulation had triggered a manic phase, and there was no reasoning with Ro when he was in mania’s throes. He turned in mid-air and flew to their home alone, trusting that his love would come find him when he’d calmed.

Roman flew, creating and destroying and creating anew until the sun started to fade. When the light in the sky began to match the red light of his constructs, he looked up at the clouds and thought of Patton. His love, his salvation, his partner in crime. Literally. Not that they’d been caught more than the one time.

He flew lower, just above the rooftops, finally traveling at normal speeds once more. Just as the forced low had been brief, his uncontrollable high was resolving faster than normal, too. He sheepishly contemplated the apologies he would need to make to his partner for worrying him and leaving him behind when he’d soared into the sky.

He floated down to earth to walk the last few blocks home. He stepped off into a dark alley to change back into civilian clothes.

If only he’d looked a bit harder at the shadows.

~~~~~~~~~~

D.R.E.A.M. Index #337403 Classification: M.1.ii [Primary Tier Neutral, Acquired Powers] Name: Ghost/Nebula Status: ACTIVE Civilian Name: [CLEARANCE: CONFIDENTIAL] Lulu Ador Affiliation: Neutral /////////H.A.T.C.H. Status: Blackout Only Partners/Sidekicks: #337471; #337402 Primary Foes: #337402 Powers: Shadow Teleportation; Psionic Construction [Star Sprites] /////////As Ghost, can travel through any shadow to any other; As Nebula, can summon star-sprites who are directed by her thoughts Costume: Tailored suit in a galaxy print and bow tie with a matching mask Age: 27 Height: 5’7 Pronouns: She/Her H.E.A.R.T.S. Class ‘10 Note: Valedictorian of her class, on similar caliber to DI#337255 - Doctor Vectorious. Ghost appears to be almost like possession, while Nebula is the 'true' form. When as Nebula, she is a hero, albeit one frustrated with the overly-physical nature of typical heroing due to her fibro. Classified as neutral because any given day she may be one or the other

D.R.E.A.M. Index #337402 Classification: Z.2.i [Secondary Tier Villain, Legacy] Name: Lovely Darling Status: ACTIVE Civilian Name: [CLEARANCE: CONFIDENTIAL] Danielle Disney Affiliation: Villain Partners/Sidekicks: #337403 Primary Foes: #337403 Powers: Mesmerizing; Power of Suggestion; Forced Infatuation /////////Anyone within a radius of approximately 10 yards is susceptible; focus on a particular person makes it more compelling and longer-lasting Costume: Purple and pink ballgown with a hoop skirt; heart-shaped mask Age: 26 Height: 5’7 Pronouns: She/Her H.E.A.R.T.S. Class ‘11 Note: Teams up with DI#337403 - Ghost/Nebula and feuds with her in equal measure, depending on how much her current scheme might affect others

~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: Spot the Steven Universe reference! There's also a Firefly quote in there. Partly an homage to one of the other possible names for this fic as a whole, ‘Big Damn Heroes’

(Fanfic writing, aka, finding ways to sneak in references to other fandoms and also inserting your friends in as background characters <3)

#another goddamn hero story #aghs #superhero au #supervillain au #superpower au #sanders sides fanfic #ts fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #long post #long chapter #//gore #//hallucination #//hospitalization #//death mention #lo and virge finally talk it out #royality #analogical #moxiety #logince #eventual LAMP #i'm so sorry this chapter is VERY long #roses writes fanfic

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Venus enters Virgo

July 9 - August 6, 2018

The traditional Virgo flower is the aster:

Astrologer Isabel Hickey wrote:

Venus is in its fall in Virgo. This is an indication that the critical and analytical mind is far from an understanding of love. When a person has Venus in Virgo they may be discriminating and proper but they are extremely unloving and apt to be faultfinding. They have not yet learned to love and have difficulty in attracting love because of their own lack. They can change, and the secret is hidden in the higher meaning of Virgo: service and humbleness of heart. Willing to be nothing in order than the hidden Christ can come forth.

Since this is transiting Venus, we can expect some of that Venus/Leo luster to flag and falter, over the next 29 days. The morning after?!? Most of the aspects which follow are of the flowing variety, but remember that “flowing” only means “easy access.”

The people I’ve known with Venus/Virgo are true tightwads. We’re definitely not liable to overspending during this transit! There could be some instances of the opposite of “penny wise and pound foolish” - namely, “pound wise and penny foolish” - know what I mean? The kind of selfishly false economy where one skimps on the necessities in order to continue the luxuries.

Venus/Virgo values can be truly admirable. For example, my Venus Rx/Virgo mother was on board with the beginning of the 1970s recycling craze as soon as it happened. (She had been a teenager during World War 2, when the US had scrap metal drives, rubber drives, newspaper drives, etc. etc.) We value practicality, sustainability, and efficiency.

The Venus/Virgo approach to art, on the other hand, can be a little quirky and unusual. If you ever read the interviews John Lennon did with “Playboy,” just before his assassination, you’ll find that he repeatedly refers to the songs he wrote as “pieces of work.” He’s even on record, in an earlier interview (1968 IIRC), as comparing the blues to building chairs. No “art for art’s sake” with this crowd - everything has to be functional.

Reminders: Venus enters Libra, her own sign, on August 6; she enters her upcoming retrograde zone on September 2, at 25:20 Libra; she stations Rx on Friday, October 5, and stations direct on Friday, November 16; she finally leaves her Rx zone on Monday, December 17, at 10:50 Scorpio. What house(s) will she be backwards in?

Celebrities with Venus in Virgo:

John Lennon, Meghan Markle, Chrisses Hemsworth and Pine, Carrie Fisher, Natalie Wood, Sylvia Plath, John D. Rockefeller, Bill Murray, Martha Stewart, Johann von Goethe, Neil Armstrong, Marcel Proust, Joni Mitchell, Guy de Maupassant, Louis Armstrong, Toni Braxton, Julie Andrews, Mark Hamill, Lucille Ball, Louis Vuitton, Debra Messing, Diana Rigg, John McCain, Henry Ford, Pele, Joan Jett

Wednesday, July 11, Uranus/Taurus trine Venus/Virgo, 2:16

Some new ideas about practical, efficient sustainability - again, you Southern Hemisphere folks have the advantage with planning your gardens. I suppose if Venus/Virgo is ever going to drop a lot of change, it would be now, for a premium top of the line composter or something. There’s a Cancer Moon too, helping the energy find a focus.

Planets/Points affected lie between 1:16 and 3:16 of the yang signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Friday, July 13, Saturn Rx/Capricorn trine Venus/Virgo, 4:39

This trine can sometimes manifest as a kind of “be nice to the grandparents” thing, Chauffeur them on their errands, do their yardwork, mop their kitchen floor for them, etc. It’s also really auspicious for the more classical art forms - if you’re working on some excruciating Chopin etude, this can help you find your way through it. And again, if we spend money, it’s going to be for something of timeless quality, like a beige Burberry trenchcoat.

Planets/Points affected lie between 3:39 and 5:39 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Sunday, July 15, Juno/Taurus trine Venus/Virgo, 6:21; Monday, July 16, Ceres/Virgo conjunct Venus/Virgo, 7:33

This interesting little line-up will include a Virgo Moon, on the 15th, so let’s revel in the womanliness! There’s a particularly strong emphasis on family and community; we want to find the practical things to do to ensure that everyone has their basic needs met. Partnerships are more of the “working” kind and take on more traditional aspects.

Planets/Points affected lie between 5:21 and 8:33 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces; and between 6:33 and 8:33 of the yang signs Aries*, Gemini*, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius*, and Aquarius*.

Sunday, July 22, Jupiter/Scorpio sextile Venus/Virgo, 13:32

Thank goodness Venus is in Virgo, putting the brakes on all that excess! Still, the excess might turn up as excessive restraint and prudishness. This is an “11th House,” waning sextile, so a better use of the energy would be to find and join a group of congenial people trying to make the world a better place. It might be the luckiest thing you ever do. There’s a Scorpio Moon on the 21st, inspiring us to act on our best hopes.

Planets/Points affected lie between 12:32 and 14:32 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Tuesday, July 24, Neptune Rx/Pisces opposite Venus/Virgo, 16:09

And this is where the legendary Virgo critical nagging rears its ugly head. Our ideals are so lofty and exalted that nothing and no one can ever match up. We may sacrifice ourselves for an unworthy goal; we may guilt-trip everyone around us on our own personal martyr trips. The day’s Capricorn Moon suggests that there’s a lack of self-worth behind the shenanigans.

Planets/Points affected lie between 15:09 and 17:09 of the signs Taurus, Gemini*, Cancer, Virgo*, Scorpio, Sagittarius*, Capricorn, and Pisces*; and between 0:09 and 2:09 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

Friday, July 27, Pluto Rx/Capricorn trine Venus/Virgo, 19:38

On the day of a scary lunar eclipse, this trine can help us survive the difficulties by giving us a sense of integral connection to The Universe. We can find a place where we can make real contributions. This is an influence also for “official” legal relationships, for doing the traditional cultural relationship things. Unfortunately, this may also make the capitalist patriarchy seem more attractive. Resist!

Planets/Points affected lie between 18:38 and 20:38 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Monday, July 30, Vesta Rx/Sagittarius square Venus/Virgo, 22:09; Sun/Leo (7:46) semi-square Venus/Virgo (22:46)

The issue here is with finding and/or owning one’s valid personal identity - Venus/Virgo is persnickety and capricious. Nothing is perfect enough, least of all ourselves. The joys of a binary culture, I guess. If our identity is based on self-aggrandizement, then yes, we’ll never be satisfied. If we’re trying to “fit in,” we’ll never be able to contort ourselves properly. I keep seeing (on Facebook) a recommendation to always do my best - if at the end of the day, I know I’ve done my best, that’s accomplishment enough.

Planets/Points affected lie between 21:09 and 23:46 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 6:09 and 8:46 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

#Astrology #Transiting Venus enters Virgo #Ms M astrologer

[atlanticcanada]

Eclipsed by new development: massive downtown Halifax mural to vanish from public view

A well-known piece of public art in downtown Halifax will soon vanish from public view, eclipsed by a new development, but the artist who painted it says that's simply the nature of the work.

The massive, surrealistic mural depicting an octopus and a blue heron battling over a fish, covers most of the exposed side of Freak Lunchbox, a popular retro candy store on Barrington Street.

It was painted in the fall of 2015 by Montreal-based artist Jason Botkin, who admits he initially took some heat over the mural, but it was one of the most interesting and significant projects of his career.

"I arrived to Halifax amidst a storm of controversy surrounding the project," Botkin told CTV News from Chilliwack, B.C., where he's working on another mural.

"I received some of the most negative criticism by people passing by, constantly over the first couple of days, and then that switched to a type of feedback that was some of the most effusively positive I've ever received for any project," he said.

Approved by regional council in late December, work is underway next door on a new nine-storey development that will swallow up two heritage buildings on Granville street, keeping only the facades.

The project will also butt up against the Freak Lunchbox store, covering the mural from view.

In an effort to save the piece, which cost $12,000, the store owner has explored a number of possibilities in recent months, but none have been easy, feasible or cost-effective.

"We've explored and kind of exasperated a lot of different options", Freak Lunchbox marketing manager Leighton Bearchell told CTV News.

The options included dismantling and moving the piece, which is painted on sheets of plywood.

"There's a lot of buildings, based on the fire regulations, you can't have wood on the outside of the building, and a number of different things like that," he said, adding the sheer size of the painting makes a move prohibitive.

In the end, they decided to simply leave it as is.

"It is definitely sad to see it being covered up, essentially, but also, the glass half-full approach to that is it'll be nice to have something down here, a new, pretty development," said Bearchell.

Botkin says public art like the kind he creates, always has a limited shelf life.

"The work that I do doesn't always live that long," he said. "Sometimes it lives for a couple of weeks. In this case, it lived for a number of years. I'm proud of the work, but if the work disappears because life goes on, then that's what it is, and I think that's really fundamentally part of what I do."

Excavation of the site is expected to begin this September, and the development is expected to be complete by October of 2023.

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/3hQ2gJh

#new brunswick #prince edward island #nova scotia #news #politics #canada #CTVAtlantic

[idolizerp]

[ LOADING INFORMATION ON JAWBREAKER’S LEAD VOCAL YOOJUNG…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 23 DEBUT AGE: 19 SKILL POINTS: 16 VOCAL | 07 DANCE | 00 RAP | 07 PERFORMANCE

INTERVIEW

there’s always this peculiar, flip-flop kind of duality that keeps the fans split on which side of yoojung they prefer.

some like the yoojung who burns up the stage with her charisma–it’s probably that little bit of grit, a hint of danger and rebellion all wrapped up in a slender body and in the curve of her lips.

others like her off-stage more. likes the shy, almost down-to-earth version of her who dotes on fans, collects fan letters and small gifts, signs autographs until her fingers cramp. the yoojung who treats those who raised her up and put her on a pedestal with the kind of reverence that radiates from within. gratitude and whole-hearted sincerity pouring out of her in weekly vlives and instagram postings. her diehard fans praise her for her generosity and altruism and, sometimes, it is enough to make some people second guess who yoojung really is behind the tsundere persona she wears like a second skin.

marketed as the cold city girl of her.oine when they first debuted, she did everything she could to make that mysterious beauty persona hers. smile, but not too widely. stare, but not too intently. you look haughty. look a little less mean. no, don’t glare, yoojung-ah, you look bitchy. better.

it earns her a nickname—ice princess. her outward coldness paints her as intimidating, almost unapproachable. it doesn’t help that she rarely takes the initiative to speak until she’s spoken to first. her innate shyness and fear of being vulnerable (of being caught off guard, her words twisted and stuffed right back into her mouth) misconstrued as disinterest or pure conceit. it earns her an article or two on the scant variety show appearances she makes, photos of her biting her lip or staring a little too hard (she wasn’t wearing her contacts that day, everything & everyone was a little blurry. her squint coming off as a glare without context) at the hosts make their rounds. it’s not serious enough to warrant a witch hunt or for her to be publicly crucified, but it garners minor backlash and singularity starts benching her for variety shows, opting to send her members in her stead, and encourages her to dial back a little, to reflect. try to find a balance between who you are on-stage and who you are off-stage. if you yo-yo too much, you’ll come off as fake and you don’t want the fans to think you’re not sincere, now do you? (but how can she do that—when yoojung doesn’t even know who she really is? when the weight of this ice princess moniker feels heavy on her shoulders, feels like caution tape and warning signs: beware! mean girl ahead. approach with extreme caution if you so desire. avoid otherwise.)

it hurts more than it should.

even when the articles are buried when singularity sinks and her.oine goes down under along with it, yoojung wallows. panics. embroiled in controversy and her future left dangling, yoojung tries her best to lie low. tries her best to create a new image. desperate to create a version (multiple versions) of herself that could be loved universally.

when news of her.oine rising from the ashes to become jawbreaker in june 2018 is announced, yoojung dons a newly made mask. her smile is a little less sharp; (maybe a hint wicked and dangerous, teeth hidden behind a curve of rouge red), she’s noticeably softer around the edges, a little more tender, sweeter. her laughs no longer sound hollow and awkward, but rings more warmly, comes off more sincere.

it’s a new start. tentative, uncertain.

and yoojung thinks she’s ready. thinks (hopes to god) this version of her is good enough.

after all, a smile could hide a multitude of things. (like greed, like ambition, like insecurity. like fear.)

BIOGRAPHY

ten.

her parents already have their hands full with three children by the time yoojung is born prematurely in the dead of the night on a friday.

too small, too sickly, too weak. that’s her designated first impression.

she might not make it, the doctor tells her mother quietly as the nurses swaddle her in blankets and whisk her away to be saved.

her mother cries, but nods in resignation, hands folded and head bowed in a prayer.

(hours later, yoojung spits in the face of fate and fights her way into recovery. a natural-born survivor.)

nine.

she takes to growing up like a fish to water. young and oh so eager to learn, yoojung absorbs everything around her like a sponge. always bright-eyed, gummy smiles, and grabby hands, she’s mastered begging to an art form.

attention comes easy when all she has to do is come home with a scraped knee or a bruised elbow. her family dotes, coddles, and loves her to the point of suffocation.

and yoojung basks in it. all the while, running full speed ahead, chasing after her siblings. always subconsciously half a step behind.

eight.

she’s stripped of her status as princess of the seo family when yumi is born when yoojung turns six. instead of opening up presents, she’s got her eyes glued to the baby girl her mom coos at, all heart eyes, and tender smiles.

her family forgets to wish her a happy birthday amidst yumi’s toothless grins and soft cries for attention.

it’s the first time they forget. (it won’t be the last.)

seven.

every year after, she has to share her birthday. share the cake, share the attention. no longer the baby of the family, yoojung is expected to become a role model for yumi. kind, caring, and loving. the kind of sister yuna had been for her.

and soon, gone is the tolerance for temper tantrums. her parents grow stricter, affection a little stale in favor of caring for yumi, who’s sick, weak, and needs a little more love.

go study, yoojung-ah. you should practice with your sister. look, your hajoonie oppa’s going to the library, why don’t you tag along? read some books? yoojung-ah, why can’t you be more responsible like taejoon? yoojung-ah, why can’t you–?

it becomes a mantra of comparisons. broken record after broken record. and yoojung grows to resent how small her presence has gotten in her own home. eclipsed by the shadows of her siblings and rendered just shy of insignificant. invisible. practically a spare.

it hurts.

six.

puberty hits her hard, but not ungracefully.

she shoots up like a weed; body slender, the barest hints of curves hidden beneath oversized t-shirts and high-waisted shorts.

yoojung’s up to her elbows in grease and dish soap, singing about a romance she never had with her sister manning the cash register at their family restaurant when an opportunity comes knocking.

it’s a business card from a talent scout and an encouragement to participate in an audition.

at 13, she’s never considered being an idol was a viable option for a career choice. traditional and wholly conservative, her parents would never let their daughters parade around in booty shorts and crop tops, singing about playing hard to get with bad boys. but the thought sticks, piques her interest, and keeps her up at night.

let’s audition, yoojung begs her sister.

so, they do.

five.

yoojung doesn’t get chosen. yuna does.

she’s the whole package: doe-eyed and girl-next-door, your first love kind of beautiful, a bewitching kind of aura when she plays the piano, and the sweet voice of an angel.

of course, she’s chosen.

yuna’s presence is too bright for anyone not to notice. at 16, she was already turning heads with her soft smiles and gentle demeanor. at her side, yoojung is barely noticeable in all her gangly prepubescent glory–no longer a little girl but not quite a young woman, dangling on a precarious in-between.

she’s not enough, she’s told. not pretty enough, not sweet enough, not talented enough. yoojung bites back a sob when they tell her yuna is. a superstar in the making.

four.

her parents are none too happy about yuna becoming a trainee in a well-known entertainment company, but congratulate her all the same. it’s what she wants and as loving as they are, they could not begrudge yuna of her happiness.

with two sons going off to university and their eldest daughter whisked into practice room after practice room, a once lively household dwindles down to something stale and much, much quieter.

yoojung’s left to help out her mother at the restaurant and babysit yumi. her mediocrity in school is noted and becomes a pressure point of tension. she’s not book smart like the twins and yuna. academia, a complete bore to someone who has been languishing in the shadows ever since she turned six years old. not quite here and not quite there. always not good enough. a perpetual almost.

she doesn’t know what she wants. doesn’t know what her dreams are. a life of fame and fortune sounds like a far-fetched dream once upon a time. but that too feels like nothing more than a mirage. close enough to touch but not close enough.

fate had such a funny way to spit in her face.

three.

she gets accepted to sopa, starts using her savings on classes at a local dance studio, and fights back.

a true fighter, yoojung claws her way from barely adequate to polished. coin noraebangs become her own version of a practice room, singing herself hoarse until she can nail an almost perfect 99 singing tears. the round of applause in the dance studio after a well-executed choreography routine her first taste of recognition.

addiction comes easy and yoojung wants the spotlight. wants something to call her own. wants to be good enough. better. the best.

so, she auditions a second time. far from the company her sister is thriving in.

and makes it in.

two.

as a trainee, yoojung refuses to pander to ass-kissing and outright bullying, she works to befriend the misfits and the outcasts. forms her own network of has-beens and second-bests and molds herself into a leader.

undeterred by harsh criticisms at evaluation and wholly determined, yoojung worked and worked and worked until she thought she could rise above everyone else. the need to outshine, to prove herself, becoming her biggest motivator.

look at me. look at me.

four years ghost by and yoojung has forgotten what it feels like to dangle on the precipice. competition is fierce and it turns everyone into an enemy in disguise. behind closed doors and in front of mirrors, she practices and perfects the art of smiling with no teeth. eyes a touch cold, backhanded compliments hidden behind words of encouragement and borderline praise, yoojung finds herself shedding her naivete in the corridors of singularity, flushing her insecurity down the toilet in between meals, and hiding her fear and anxiety behind a perfect posture and a head held high.

she knows in a cutthroat industry like this that survivors don’t make it to the top without sacrificing a little bit of something.

in yoojung’s case, she sacrifices it all: the once tight-knit bond with her family (now borderline estranged), her network of best fake friends, and her own innocence.

anything for a taste of fame. anything to have something that is hers. all hers.

when her.oine debuts and she stands in the spotlight with three other girls (her newfound comrades in a new war to the top), yoojung smiles. wicked and a touch dangerous.

attention-starved and ravenous, she wants more.

one.

they hit rock bottom in the worst way possible.

singularity goes pear-shaped and her.oine (her stepping stone to an eventual solo debut and a shot at becoming the next It Girl) becomes nothing more than a blip on the idol radar. a footnote in a list of girl groups already saturating the industry.

she wonders if this is the end. if four years of blood, sweat, and tears have culminated in nothing more than a gunshot of a debut with three firecrackers for company and all that’s left of their hard work is a life shrouded in infamy.

does she go crying back to her parents? beg them to let her try again? persuade them to give her more time to claw her way back on stage?

she doesn’t know. she doesn’t. and that scares her.

with her.oine’s future hanging on a thread, yoojung wishes for a miracle for the first time.

her genie comes in the form of singularity being bought out, her.oine absorbed into a new company, and a promise to keep her newfound family intact.

she’s relieved. ecstatic, even.

until news of their new company announces that her.oine would re-brand as jawbreaker. that they would come back stronger and ready to take the world by storm. that a new girl was set to join the lineup.

someone equally as talented as she is. someone potentially more talented. (yoojung’s borderline ambivalent; half resentful and half curious. it doesn’t matter in the end because she’s competition, nonetheless.)

of course.

fate has never been kind to her, after all.

(so, she works herself to the bone, sings herself hoarse, dances until her feet blister. she pushes and pushes and pushes her body to its limits because it’s the only way she knows how to fight the voices telling her she’ll always be second best.)

and we’re back!

it’s june 2018 and jawbreaker is set to debut.

yoojung’s ready. she was born ready.

will they sink or will they swim? only time will tell.

#id.bio #id.jawbreaker #id.kjh #id.jung soojung

[surveysonfleek]

546.

A! What is your AGE? 26. Have you ever been to ALASKA? nope. Do you want to go to AFRICA? i’ve been before but not to the mainland. What is one of your biggest ACCOMPLISHMENTS? getting a degree. When if ever was the last time you were on an AIRPLANE? back in april this year.

Have you ever eaten ARUGULA? yes. What is your favorite ANIMATED movie? aladdin, mulan and the lion king. Do you have any famous ANCESTORS?  nope.

Have you ever seen an ALLIGATOR? yes. Have you ever sprained your ANKLE? i feel like i have. When was the last time you had a doctor APPOINTMENT? i never really make an appointment, i just show up. Do you enjoy doing ART? sure but it depends on the subject matter. Have you ever gotten a celebrity's AUTOGRAPH? yes. Who is your favorite AUTHOR? jk rowling. Have you ever AUDITIONED for anything? no. Are you interested in ASTRONOMY? hmm not so much hey. Do/did you have good ATTENDANCE in school? yes. B! When is your BIRTHDAY? dec 5. What color is your BACKPACK? black. Have you ever done BALLET? nope. Do you know anyone who's expecting a BABY soon? yes, two people from work. Do you have BARBECUES in the summer? yeah sometimes. Does your house have a BASEMENT? nope. Do you enjoy going to the BEACH? hmmm sometimes. not usually tbh. What is your favorite BOOK? the harry potter series. What time do you usually go to BED? usually 3am. What did you eat for BREAKFAST? nothing. Do you know anyone who is BLIND? no. Are you wearing anything that's the color BLUE? nope. Do you know what BOOMWHACKERS are? nope. Have you ever been BLUEBERRY picking? no. Are you wearing a BRACELET? yes. Do you like the song BRIDGE Over Troubled Water? it’s okay. Have you ever slept in a BUNK BED? yes. C! Do you have a CAT? no, i’m not a fan. Do you drink COFFEE? not often. How much CASH is in your wallet right now? nothing, i hate carrying cash. Do you like COUSCOUS? eh, it’s okay. i don’t like nor hate it. How about CHEESECAKE? i prefer mudcake. What kind of CAR do you have? a suzuki alto. What is your favorite kind of COOKIE? any with a soft centre. Have you ever been in a CHOIR? no. Do you enjoy riding CAROUSELS? i’ll only go on it if it’s a short line. Are you sitting in a CHAIR? no, i’m in bed lol. Do you go to CHURCH? nope. What is/was your favorite CLASS in school? visual arts. Do you like COLORING books? depends on the images, but yeah.

Who is your favorite COMPOSER? i don’t have one. Do you like COWS? haha no. What was your favorite Halloween COSTUME? wednesday addams. D! Do you like DUCKS? not really. i don’t hate them though. What is your favorite breed of DOG? corgis. What would you name your DAUGHTER? no idea yet but i’ve loved the name sierra for the longest time. What is today's DATE? nov 16. Are you good at DANCING? not at all. Do you have DECORATIONS on your bedroom walls? nope. just a huge corkboard. When was the last time you saw your DAD? nearly two weeks ago. Have you seen the musical DEAR Evan Hansen? nope. Have you ever seen a DEER in your yard? no, that’d be a shock. Do you own any DIAMOND jewelry? yes. Do you like DOCUMENTARY films? generally yes, depends on the subject. Does your house have a DECK? nope. What's your favorite thing to eat for DINNER? it depends on my mood. How about for DESSERT? usually something warm like waffles, pie etc. Have you ever lived in a DORM? no. What's the last DREAM you remember having? i forgot. E! How do you like your EGGS? scrambled. Are your EARS pierced? yes. Have you ever seen an ECLIPSE? no :( next time! What is an activity you ENJOY? sleeping. Is your favorite animal an ELEPHANT? nope. When is the last time you rode in an ELEVATOR?: ummm. tuesday. Do you know anyone named ELIZABETH? yes, a supervisor at work. Do you believe that everyone should have EQUAL rights?  yes.

Have you ever been in an EARTHQUAKE? i don’t think so. Are you EXCITED about anything? i’m excited to eat. i’m starving. Do you get a lot of EXERCISE? not enough. F! Have you ever been to FLORIDA? yes, once. Do you like FISH? yes. Have you ever been to the FAIR? yes. Who was the last FRIEND you hung out with? four of my friends. Do you like FIREFLIES? i’ve only seen them once but they were amazing!! Have you ever wished you could FLY? i’d rather teleport than fly. Do you like FROGS? no. What FOREIGN countries have you visited? singapore, philippines, fiji, usa, canada, uae, mauritius, england, france, italy, belgium, spain, greece, germany, the netherlands, czech republic. i think that’s it... Can you run FAST? nope. Do you have a big FAMILY? yeah kinda. Do you have A FACEBOOK? yes. Do you like FRENCH toast? yes!! Have you ever been to FINLAND? nope. Are you FEMALE? yes. Do you know anyone who lives on a FARM? yes. G! Do you believe in GHOSTS? nah. Are you good at GEOMETRY? nope. What is one of your GOALS? find a good career. Have you ever pet a GOAT? yes. What year did you/are you going to GRADUATE high school? 2009. Are any of your GRANDPARENTS still living? unfortunately not. What GRADE in school was your favorite? 11th i think. When was the last time you gave someone a GIFT? yesterday! Have you ever seen a GRIZZLY bear? i don’t think so. If a GENIE granted you 3 wishes what would you wish for? unlimited money, happiness and health for me and everyone i love. Does your house have a GARDEN? yes, a huge one. What about a GARAGE? yes. Do you like to chew GUM? yes. Have you ever done GYMNASTICS? as a kid. H! What is your HOMETOWN? i live about 30 minutes form my hometown. When's the last time you had a HAIRCUT? maybe three months ago. What HAND do you write with? right. Have you ever ridden a HORSE? yes. Do you like HOT chocolate? yes, but i only ever drink it in winter. When's the last time you ate a HAMBURGER? yesterday. Do you have neat HANDWRITING? not super neat, but it’s legible. What is your favorite HOLIDAY? christmas. Do you like the musical HAMILTON? i haven’t seen it. when i was in nyc this april every show was sold out but people were reselling their tickers for thousands of dollars. no thanks. Are you in HIGH school? nope. Do you enjoy HIKING? no, i hate it with a passion. What is your HEIGHT? 5'4". Who is your HERO? my parents. Are you HUNGRY? nope. I! Do you like ICE in your water? yes. Are you INSIDE right now? yes. What's your favorite INTERNATIONAL food? japanese and chinese. oh, greek food is nice too! and korean! Have you ever been an INTERN anywhere? yes.

Do you use the INTERNET a lot? everyday. What is your favorite musical INSTRUMENT? piano or guitar. What is something you're INTERESTED in? traveling. When was the last time you used INDEX cards? i never really did, not even when i was studying for exams. Do you like the color INDIGO? yes. Have you ever had a job INTERVIEW? yes. What's your favorite ICE cream flavor? cookie dough. J! Are you wearing any JEWELRY? yes, i wear my necklace and bracelet 24/7. Do you like JAZZ music? it sounds good but i don’t actively listen to it. Are you JEALOUS of anyone? no. Do you write in a JOURNAL? nope. What is your dream JOB? something that allows me to travel a lot. Do you know anyone who's a JUDGE? nope. Can you JUMP high? no. Do you know any funny JOKES? eh, not really. What does your favorite JACKET look like? it’s just a plain denim jacket from h&m. Do you know anyone named JOHN? yes. Have you ever played JEOPARDY? no. Have you ever seen a JELLYFISH? yes. How about a JAGUAR? i don’t think i have. not even at a zoo. K! Do you like KALE? from the very few times i’ve had it, it was good. Do you know anyone in KINDERGARTEN? i know someone that will start next year. Aren't KITTENS adorable? i don’t really like cats in general. Do you own a KEY to your house? yes. Do you have any KIDS? nope. Do you own a tea KETTLE? yes. Have you ever seen a KOALA? yes. Do you have a lot of KNOWLEDGE? i do. maybe not as much as other people but whatever. Have you ever worn a KIMONO? yes. Do you like KEBOBS? yes. Do you know anyone who's had a KNEE replacement? no. Are you KIND? for the most part, yes. Do you know how to KNIT? nope. Have you ever sung KARAOKE? yes. Do you always KNOCK before entering a room? not unless i know someone’s in there. L! Do the LEAVES change color where you live? yep. obviously only in autumn. When was the last time you did LAUNDRY? i don’t remember. my mum still insists on doing it coz apparently i don’t do it right. How many LANGUAGES can you speak? two. When was the last time you went to the LIBRARY? no idea. back when i was in uni i think. Do you know anyone who's LEFT-handed? yes. When was the last time you wrote a LETTER? i wrote a quick birthday message in a card yesterday for my friend, does that count? Post some LYRICS from the song you're listening to: not listening to anything. Do you have a driver's LICENSE? yes. Is there a LIGHT on near you? yes. Have you ever seen a LION? yes. LOOK out the nearest window. What do you see? the street. Do you buy LOCAL food? yes. Have you ever eaten LOBSTER? yes. How LONG is the song you're listening to now? not listening to anything. Do you like LEMONS?: only to compliment food. M! Are you good at MATH? very basic maths i guess. What is your favorite genre of MUSIC? rnb, hip hop, neo soul. Have you received any MAIL recently? yes. What is your MOM'S name? rather not say. Do you believe in MAGIC? no. i do love illusions though. Do you wear MAKEUP? yes. Have you ever been in a MADRIGALS group? nope. Do you put MAPLE syrup on your pancakes? yes! What is one of your favorite MEMORIES? any time i’ve gone traveling. What would you do with a MILLION dollars? pay off debts, give some to family, invest in a house and save the rest. Are there any words you often MISPRONOUNCE? probably. Can you see the MOON right now? nope. Do you enjoy going to MUSEUMS? yes, i’ll happily visit any museum. When did you last use a MICROWAVE? today. Do you drink MILK? only soy or lactose free. What were you doing at MIDNIGHT last night? sleeping. Do you MISS anyone? yes. N! Do you like your NEIGHBORS? i don’t really talk to any of them. Have you ever been in the NEWSPAPER? yes haha. Do you have a NICKEL in your wallet? yes. Is it NIGHTTIME? yes. Do you have any NIECES? yes kinda, they’re my cousin’s daughters. How about NEPHEWS? same ^ but my cousin’s sons. When is the last time you wrote in a NOTEBOOK? i don’t remember. Have you ever been to NEW York City? yes. What is your favorite/lucky NUMBER?  7. What makes you NOSTALGIC? looking at old photos, listening to old songs, watching old videos and/or movies. Do you have any NICKNAMES? yes, plenty. Do you ever take NAPS? only if i haven’t had enough sleep. Do you enjoy spending time in NATURE? not usually, but i can. Do you know anyone who has a NEWFOUNDLAND (the dog)? nope. Were you born in the NINETEEN NINETIES? yes. When was the last time you read a NOVEL? a couple weeks ago. O! Do you like to eat OATMEAL? nope. Have you ever been to the OCEAN? yes. Do you work in an OFFICE? no.

Are there any OAK trees in your yard? no. Do you like OLIVES? no, i hate them. Have you ever seen a live ORCHESTRA? yes. Have you ever been to the ORTHODONTIST? nope. Are you ORGANIZED? yeah kinda. Do you like OTTERS? yeah, they’re cute. What is your favorite OUTFIT? just a plain summer dress or a tee and leggings. When is the last time you were OUTSIDE? just then. Have you ever been to The OUTBACK Steakhouse? yes. What is something you're OBSESSED with? netflix lol. Is there a door OPEN nearby?  nope.

Are you part of any ORGANIZATIONS? not really unless you count the union at work. P! Do you have a PUPPY? yeah but he’s not a puppy anymore, he’s an oldie. Do you like PAINTING? i haven’t painted in years. Have you ever had a PEN PAL? yes, just my cousin lol. Do you own any PALAZZO pants? nope. What's your favorite kind of PIZZA? meat lovers. What are you PASSIONATE about? tbh i’m not sure. is that bad lol. What's the best PERFORMANCE you've ever been to? beyonce. Do you get along with your PARENTS? yes. What's the last thing you PAID for? presents for my god daughter. What kind of PHONE do you have? iphone 7. Can you play the PIANO? i can but very basic stuff. What is your favorite kind of PIE? apple. Is PURPLE your favorite color? not my fave but i still like it. Have you ever been to a PLANETARIUM? yes. Do you like POETRY? not really. Do you carry a PURSE? yes. Q! Do you like answering QUESTIONS? sure. Is it QUIET in the room right now? yes. Have you ever made a QUILT? nope. Have you ever been in a QUARTET? no. Did you ever collect state QUARTERS? no. When did you last have a QUIZ in school? no idea, maybe five years ago. What is your favorite QUOTE? i don’t have one. Do you ever QUACK like a duck? umm nope lol. R! How often do you listen to the RADIO? every now and then when i do short driving trips. Do you like to READ? yes. Is it RAINING? no. it was earlier though. Have you ever been to a RALLY? nope. Name 3 things in your REFRIGERATOR: ketchup, cheese, water. Have you ever had a REHEARSAL for something? yes. Have you ever been to a RENAISSANCE festival? nope. What makes you feel RELAXED? massages. Does your family have REUNIONS? yes. What is your favorite RESTAURANT? i depends which cuisine. but i do love any kbbq. Have you ever sat on your ROOF? nope. Do you have a ROOMMATE? no, just family. Do you have a Labrador or Golden RETRIEVER? nope. Do you know anyone who is RETIRED? yes. Do you like RASPBERRIES? they’re okay. When you go to an event do you buy REFRESHMENTS? yes. S! Have you ever been SAILING? not proper sailing. Do you ever shop at a SALVATION Army? i have before. Do you like to eat free SAMPLES in the grocery store? sure. Do you have a SISTER? yes. Can you speak SPANISH? no. What SCHOOL do you go to? I'm not in school. Do you like the game SCRABBLE? yes. Have you ever been to SPAIN? yes. Have you ever been in a SPELLING bee? no. Name someone you know who is an amazing SINGER: eh... idk lol. When was the last time you saw a SQUIRREL? when i was in usa. Does it SNOW a lot where you live? it has never snowed here. Are you wearing SOCKS? nope. Do you own a SKETCHBOOK? yes, but i don’t use it.

When was the last time you took a SHOWER? today. Do you know the song from West Side Story called SOMEWHERE? idk. T! Who was the last person you TEXTED? my boyfriend. Do you like to drink TEA? i do but very rarely. Have you ever played a TAMBOURINE? yes. Who is/was your favorite TEACHER? tbh i didn’t have one. Do you like to shop at TARGET? yes. Do you have a TAPESTRY in your room? nope. What's the TEMPERATURE outside? idk probably around 20 degrees c. What is your favorite T-SHIRT? my oversized striped one. Do you own a TEDDY bear? no. Are you a TEENAGER? no. Are you interested in THEATER? not really. What TIME is it? 12:28am. Do you have a TRAMPOLINE? nope. Can you read music in TREBLE clef? nope lol. Have you ever had a pet TURTLE? no. Have you ever TUTORED anyone? yeah kinda. U! What is UNDER your bed? a lot of junk and early christmas presents that i’ve bought. Have you ever had to wear a UNIFORM for anything? yes, work. When was the last time you saw your UNCLE? in april. Do you go to a UNIVERSITY? no i already graduated. Do you live in an URBAN area? yes. When was the last time you used an UMBRELLA? i forgot. Do you know anyone who is a UNITARIAN? nope. Have you ever been an USHER? nope. Can you UNDERSTAND other languages? yes. What makes you UNIQUE? just the way i look i guess. When was the last time you went UPSTAIRS? just then. How many months are there UNTIL your birthday? less than a month. V! Do you know anyone who is a VEGETARIAN? nope. When did you last use a VACUUM cleaner? last week. Where is the last place you went on VACATION?  vegas. Do you know anyone who plays the VIOLIN? nope. Have you ever wanted to be a VETERINARIAN? no. What countries would you like to VISIT? japan and the bahamas. Have you ever taken VOICE lessons? nope. What was the last thing you bought from a VENDING machine? a drink. Have you ever been to Martha's VINEYARD? nope. How about VERMONT? no. Do you like VANILLA ice cream? no. Have you ever VOLUNTEERED anywhere? yes. Are you registered to VOTE? yes. Do you have perfect VISION? no. i wish! W! Do you drink a lot of WATER? yes i do actually. What's in your WALLET? license, debit card, credit card, membership cards. Do you wear a WATCH? not since my apple watch broke :( What is the WALLPAPER on your computer? it’s of cityscapes all over the world. it changes every five minutes i think. Have you ever read the WARRIORS books? no. Can you WHISTLE? yes. Do you like WOLVES? tbh i’ve never seen any irl. What is your favorite WORD? fiasco. Is it WINDY outside? no. Have you ever painted with WATERCOLORS? yes. What time did you WAKE up today? midday. Are there any WATERFALLS near where you live? nope. Have you ever seen a WHALE? yes. If you have a dog does it WAG its tail a lot? whenever he sees anyone. Have you ever been to WASHINGTON, DC?  yes. Have you ever been to a WEDDING? yes. X! Have you ever had an X-RAY? yes. Can you play the XYLOPHONE? i mean i can but i can’t play anything nice lol. Can you speak or understand XHOSA? nope. Y! Does your house have a big YARD? yeah, it’s huge. Have you ever done YOGA? no. Do you like YOGURT? sometimes. Do you have a YEARBOOK from high school? yes. Are you wearing anything that is the color YELLOW? nope. Have you ever had a YARD sale? no. What YEAR were you born? 1990. Have you ever heard the song YOU Will Be Found? nope. Have you ever been part of a YOUTH group? yes. What did you do YESTERDAY? had dinner with friends. What's something YUMMY you ate recently? tacos. What's the last YOUTUBE video you watched? some buzzfeed video of a girl going on a date with a real life vampire lmao. Z! Have you ever seen a ZEBRA? yes. What is your ZODIAC sign? sagittarius. Are you wearing anything with a ZIPPER? nope. Have you ever seen the movie ZOOTOPIA? yes, it was cute, Do you use ZIPLOCK bags? no. Do you know anyone named ZOE? no. Have you ever been to ZIMBABWE? no.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

[navaan]

Rec Week 2017: Cap-IM Sunday

My very late recs for Cap-IM Sunday. ^^;

Like Coming Home (616/MCU, 75015 words) by missbecky (2013 Captain America/Iron Man Big Bang) Summary: After a tragic accident, Steve is given a chance to go back in time and deliver a warning to Tony in the hope of avoiding their fate. Something's gone wrong, though, because this is not his world he's ended up in. And that is definitely not his Tony who's planning to delete his own brain. Sometimes your second chance isn't at all what you were expecting. Comment: This is one of my favorite MCU/616 crossovers and one I go back to rereading regularly. This ties in beautifully with post-Civil War and Dark reign canon and has a good amount of Tony angst and Tony whump and I just love it.

Buy You A Mockingbird (616, 29652 words) by jadedoll (2011 Captain America/Iron Man Big Bang) Summary: Babyfic! When Tony unexpectedly becomes a parent, his world view drastically changes. And changes. Then it changes again. And then again. Comment: Also one of my all time favorite fics, because Tony and a baby is just my favorite trope ever and this is the post-Civil War getting together with a multiverse baby fic!

the best man in his world and a good enough man for any world (Noir, 24914 words) by thyrza (2013 Captain America/Iron Man Big Bang) Summary: Tony Stark disappeared without a word at the close of World War II, and hasn't been seen or heard from since. When Commander Steve Rogers, newly retired from the mantle of Captain America, arrives in Madripoor to investigate the presence of a Hydra cell, he is reunited with his former lover. But Tony is keeping secrets of his own ... and Steve soon finds out he isn't the only person interested in Tony Stark's missing years. Comment: This is my favorite Noir fic and also one I reread regularly. It just has the right tone and whiff of adventure for a Noir story and I don’t want to give away too much about the plot and what Tony is up to, so I’m just saying this fic does a nice job of being a sequel for the mini-series.

De Profundis (The Wartime Romance Remix) (1651 words) by Woad Summary: Tony was kidnapped and his memories altered in a bid to make him the next Zemo. He was rescued, but now he's dealing with the aftermath. Comment: This is a sequel of my own fic, so I was pondering if it would seem self-indulgent to put it on this list. But it really needs to be on this list, because I like it very much as it’s own story and it really is the kind of very well crafted remix that is enjoyable as remix and as a completely separate fic. Woad made all the horrors of war and Hydra come alive for me in a very confined setting and that is just amazing.

Broken Mirrors (3485 words) by laireshi Summary: “He hid some things from me,” Tony says, then shrugs. “It’s fine. I hid some things from him, too. Don’t you know this story?” 616 Steve meets MCU Tony. Comment: Another of my favorites when it comes to my favorite MCU/616 crossovers. This is set after CA:CW and it’s so in character and hurts SO GOOD.

Staring into an Eclipse (616, 26157 words) by laireshi Summary: The New Avengers are the best thing to happen to Steve in months, or so he thinks – until he starts a relationship with Tony. But when Tony disappears after he gets Extremis, Steve isn't sure of anything anymore. Comment: I’m always a sucker for post-Extremis “how does it affect Tony” fics and I haven’t seen many lately, so I went back to one of my older favorites. This really does a good job of showing us the getting together, before tying in with the Extremis arc and going beyond it.

Before the clock strikes 12 (Art, Noir) by ranoutofrun (2016 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange) Comment: I do love ran’s art in general and I just love how a whole life and story is expressed by the sequence of panels. It’s just very evocative.

#capimrecweek #stevetony

[rilenerocks]

Okay. I promised myself when I started this blog on January 1st, 2018, that I was not ever going to censor myself. As an adult with lots of life experience, I should have known better than to make promises like those. Right now I’m waging an internal struggle about censorship regarding what I want to be expressing in this forum. I’m not ready to be done with that inner conversation. But the need to write is big. So instead, I’m going to write about one topic which might offend people but isn’t personal. At least not to me. I also have a few other items to share that are mostly neutral. So here goes.

I’ll start with food. I really like food. I like it just as much as anyone does, especially eating it. In fact, I’ve probably always eaten more than I should. I think that got started because my older brother and sister were colicky babies, fussy and cranky about what went in their bodies. I guess they kind of drove my parents nuts. By the time I came along, my brother was eight and my sister was almost six. For mom and dad the advent of me was like starting over. They were certainly more mature than the 20 year olds who found themselves up to their elbows in diapers. Apparently, I was a really easy baby. In the beginning I liked to eat and I liked to sleep. My mom told me she always worried that I might be dead because I slept a long time. She also confessed that when I didn’t want to drink as much as usual, she snipped the ends of the nipples off my bottles and just poured the milk down my throat. That confession came as an apology well into my adult life when she was sorry that I’d had weight struggles. She felt guilty.  As I grew up I learned that there were rewards in cleaning your plate and being the easy to please kid. And as I said, I really liked food. I didn’t spend a lot of time cooking as a young kid but I watched my mom and grandmother a lot and when Michael and I started out together, I had a decent repertoire of dishes and was the primary chef of our household.

But Michael really liked food too and by the time we’d been together about 20 years, he’d turned himself into a vegetable and herb gardener, a canner and a recipe fiend. He wanted to learn to make the foods he loved from our favorite restaurants, like deep dish Chicago pizza and Greek saganaki. He loved grilling and had all these special tools for doing vegetables and fish and even a massive grill for multiple slabs of ribs. As time went by, I did most of our holiday celebration cooking and he took over daily meals. Truly delightful. His meals were tasty and big on beautiful presentation. It worked for us.

When he got cancer, especially during his worst treatment times, that lifestyle changed. I was back in the kitchen, scrambling for recipes and tempting ideas and feeling like a failure when my concoctions were clearly subpar compared to his. I was grateful for the kindness of friends who started food trains to give us a hand. As he neared the end of his life, he’d sometimes just look at me and say, “what’re you going to eat when I die?”

I’d say Raisin Bran and cottage cheese with fruit and tell him not to worry about anything. And I meant it. I completely lost interest in cooking and made do with things that were more like snacks than meals or otherwise went out to eat or threw myself on my son-in-law’s mercy. My daughter’s not big into cooking either.

Before he died, Michael made an elaborate menu with both of our special recipes included. I could barely remember the last times I’d have mine. I guess you could’ve described him as a foodie although he’d never have been one of the people who posted photos of his dishes on social media. He really hated that. I don’t hate it but I’ve never quite understood the need to show what you ingest to all your friends. I admit that I did put up a video of a pot of bubbling matzo ball soup because I thought it was miraculous that I’d actually made it again after a long time. And I once posted a picture of two gorgeous orange sweet potato pies because they looked like art to me.

And then there was my snotty post of a Whopper just to be obnoxious.  But mostly I didn’t do that kind of thing because I just didn’t see the relevance of it. Maybe some people are food voyeurs. Maybe others are fascinated by new recipes. As I said, I just like eating. But I’m going through a new thing right now. I realized that some of my fondest memories are of the special meals prepared by my mom and grandmother when the whole family came together to eat, sing, socialize and share. For so many years, well into my twenties, those traditions were the treasures that I stored away in my memory.

I took over a lot of the big family events when I was thirty and kept it going up to and including the darkest days of Michael’s sickness. But as soon as he died, I bailed on all of it. I just felt done. My mom stopped cooking after my dad died, too, perhaps setting the role model for me. I think she made a few efforts to do a couple of meals but as she aged, she lost her touch. I realize that whatever years are ahead of me are far fewer than they used to be. What homey memories will my grandchildren have of me? Fruit snacks and Twizzlers? My kids have memories of their favorite foods that I made which were ultimately eclipsed by the sheer volume of recipes that belonged to Michael. But they have some. And my eldest grandson, who I cared for during his first three years, still says he loved the special oatmeal I made him for breakfast, filled with applesauce and golden raisins. My whole matriarch thing has begun to feel like a big glob of words with no fragrant smells or tastes that will evoke the kinds of memories I have of the women in my life. I still smell my grandmother’s hallway as we all trundled up the stairs to gorge ourselves on her food. And my mom’s desserts which were, yes, literally to die for. So I figured I should pull myself off the couch and get it together before there’s no time left to establish those things for my crew. I think that starting out as an older parent and grandparent has some disadvantages but if I can swim every day, the least I can do is make a meal. So this week, I’m diving headfirst into good action.

Today I decided to try Michael’s marinade for salmon. I remember exactly what it looked like but being myself, a person who prefers to throw food together in the same non-scientific way that I garden, I took a wild stab at making what I thought was a good flavor blend and popped the salmon into it for a good soak. In Michael’s honor, I did wear his goggles that he always used when grating onions. I always thought he looked ridiculous but they worked very well. The fish was delicate and didn’t dry out. That was good enough for my son and me.

Tomorrow night, everyone is coming to my house for a traditional although late Rosh Hashanah dinner. I’ve included a photograph of my sweet and savory brisket which simmered fir hours tonight in my mother’s ancient pot. I remember her spicy baked chicken which cooked in there along with a fabulous fricassee that had little meatballs and chicken wings and a gravity so savory you sopped up all you could get on eggy, buttery challah bread. Makes me mouth water. My five year old grandson has tasted my matzo ball soup before and now says it’s his favorite. I’m making progress already. I don’t expect to go back into any full time cooking mode for the future. But at least they’ll remember me for some comfort food when I’m no longer here.

On to the next topic. Last week I spent about 15 hours driving in just a couple of days. My obsession with clouds on bright sunny days was a constant distraction. I also love looking at farm animals in the same way I used to when we were little, driving through Iowa to go visit the family in Chicago.

I had to stop to photograph the Mississippi. I’ve seen it so many times but it’s romantic for me because of books and history. I try not to think of what’s going on it biologically speaking.

And then there are bridges. I can’t get enough of a good bridge. And, oh, the wind farms. I always expect to see Imperial Walkers from Star Wars strolling in between each separate wind turbine. They are truly enormous. I saw lots of semitrailer trucks with room enough only for a single blade on their flatbeds. I do worry for the birds navigating those places.

Lastly, there’s my little phenology study of my yard. I think I’ve seen my last monarch this year, on September 30th. I still have plenty of painted ladies and sulphurs, but I’ll miss those monarchs. I hope those orange and black beauties with their white spots are safely headed to southern climes to go through their multiple breeding processes so they can return next year. Butterflies were my sustenance this summer and I had a great season.

Now I can hear bird chatter picking up in my garden. Some are migrating through and others are returning to spend the winter near all my feeders. They know a sucker when they see one. Oh, and I didn’t get a single tomato off my vines this year. All gotten by squirrels and rabbits. They’re getting my apples too.

Seasons coming and going. I can’t find a way to get Michael’s physical self to return so I’m making do with the mysterious strength of us that still permeates me and all my nature buddies which I’ve cultivated with great intensity. Great intensity is my thing, apparently. To close this random blog, I include a few photos of the architecture of my town. I’m still thinking about how to wrestle myself away from my censorship issue but at least I’ve found the way to release the deluge of words that gets backed up in my head when too many days go by without writing.

Food, Memories and Travel Mashup Okay. I promised myself when I started this blog on January 1st, 2018, that I was not ever going to censor myself.