#excult

[exmovibes]

I spend a lot of time on here ranting about how angry i am at the church and how much growing up mormon fucked me up. And I want to switch it up a bit.

Things I'm grateful for since leaving the church

The right to my body. I look forward to every new piercing and tattoo I get. I'm almost 1 year on T. Every day, my body is looking more and more like home

The right to my own money. it's so nice to own all the money I earn. I'm not stressed about covering bills or the guilt I would get when I wasn't able to pay tithing. It's honestly so freeing

The right to my sexual desires. It's taken me a while, but masturbation and watching porn no longer fills me with guilt. I'm able to enjoy sexual things and the way they make me feel, without feeling awful about myself. Once I made that switch in my mind, that anything sexual is natural and not inherently wrong, my life has been so much better

The right to my own time. I posted about this a few weeks ago, and let me tell you. Having an additional 5+ hours of time a week to just do whatever, you can do so much. I reorganized my whole room last week while my family was at church. I've been learning sign language while waiting for my brother to be done with mutual. I've picked up book binding and writing during the times my family was at the temple.

The right to consumption. While I absolutely do not advocate for the use of drugs or alcohol, I'm able to enjoy a night out with my friends. I can share a blunt and take shots (of the alcohol variety) without the fear of god looming over me. I can drink coffee and tea without even batting an eye anymore.

I promise you. It does get easier to live life. It's taken me a lot of work, but I'm no longer fully mentally tied to the church. I've still got a lot to work on, but I'm starting to understand the appeal of just living. Taking every day and making the most of it.

For those of you who are pimo, hang in there. I was pimo for 5 years so I get it. It's really fucking hard, but eventually your life will be yours to do with as you please.

Love yall, (p.s. in 9 days I'll be a year inactive!!)

#exmo #exmormon #ex mormon #excult #ex mo #religious trauma #ex cult #cult survivor #exlds

[itsraining-somewhereelse]

I might not be a girl or a woman anymore, but I will never forget the way that 8 year old me had to wear a t-shirt under her summer sundress. She was told that it would be her fault if a man saw her shoulders and was tempted to sin.

I have seen little kids out in “immodest” clothing: tank tops with dinos, polkadotted short shorts, unicorn crop tops. You know how many of those children I’ve had sinful thoughts about?

None.

Imagine being such a spineless fucking pedophile that you blame the child for daring to have a body.

Remember when the men said to Christ, “the scantily-clad woman is causing us to have impure thoughts!”

They waited to hear “she must cover her body.”

Instead, Christ replied “if your hand betrays you, cut it off; and if your eyes cause you to sin, gouge them out.”

It’s high time to bring that back.

#at 8 I had just been baptized. which is where they ask if you will join the church. a thing that they had been grooming you to do from birth #and at 12 they call you a young woman and prepare you for marriage. #fuck the church #rain speaks #exmo #excult #exchristian #victim blaming #implied csa #eye trauma #exmormon #ex catholic #cult survivor #ex christian #ex jw #apostate #anti mormon #hall of fame

[exmojoe]

the deconstruction process is very much so not easy and you should be proud of yourself no matter where you are in that journey

#we’ve had some feelings tonight #I honest to god sometimes feel like I had things more deconstructed as a pimo/nuanced Mormon than I have them now #some things really do just creep up on you #like remember how you were brainwashed with this for two decades #exmo #exmormon #ex mormon #pimo #ex fundie #ex cult #ex christian #excult #ex evangelical #ex jw

[magical-grrrl-mavis]

Shout out to my therapist who listened to me vent/infodump on the church for an hour and then just said "I'm gonna have to process how angry this all makes me tonight" like, sis I'm so sorry I didn't mean to give you second-hand religious trauma.

#exmo #exmormon #excult

[morgannotlefay]

“Heaven hath no fury like a bitch of Hell forced to conform”

I was writing poetry for a scholarship and oops my hand slipped...

#religious trauma #exmo #Excult #exmormon #ex christian #poetry

[fearlessapostate]

The fact that mormons call the people who excommunicate you the 'court of love' is the most Orwellian shit ever jfc

#hey look i remembered i have a drafts folder #apostake #exmormon #excult

[nomowyrm]

It’s all about hope and fear.

I didn’t leave the church because I was Smart and Logicked my way out. That’s not how you get in and it’s not how you escape either.

I left because I was lucky enough that I turned 20 and didn’t have a calling, hadn’t gone on a mission, didn’t have any friends in the church, and I had a number of friends outside the church, who were nice to me despite my sometimes annoying faith. I left because I knew my parents would still love and accept me even if I did, and for that I am also exceptionally lucky.

I was no longer emotionally involved in the church, no longer attached by friendship or responsibility, and I had clear examples that happiness was possible outside of the church, by people who had never even heard of Mormonism.

I left because my fear of staying outweighed my fear of leaving.

I’m not one to talk about fear a lot as a motivator, and I don’t mean for this to be a depressing look at humanity as “driven solely by fear”. I could rephrase, and say that my *hope* of leaving outweighed my fear of leaving.

But I’m choosing fear because it feels appropriate for the issue. I didn’t want to think about life outside of the church because of fear. I didn’t want to consider an afterlife that wasn’t the Mormon Standard because of fear. Everything on my shelf was put there and suppressed because of fear.

Fear of disappointing those close to me. Fear of eternal damnation if I strayed from the path. Fear of being hurt, or hurting others. Fear that if I thought too long about the flaws in the church and myself, I would become a sinner, an outcast, an apostate. Fear that the life I’ve lived for years and years—my entire life!—is actually a lie.

Fear that if I left I would never be happy again.

Because that’s what we’re taught! That those outside the church aren’t really happy, they’re just sort of… ‘happy’. And that every step away from the path was risking my eternal salvation forever.

Our brains want to protect us! When we see something counter to our beliefs, it tells us to stop, turn back, avoid at all costs. We get that feeling in our stomachs, the ‘lack of the spirit’, and all the thoughts are shut down because we sense danger.

And really, there’s only two ways out of that.

The most painful, but unfortunately very common for many exmormons, the fear of staying has to grow and grow until it’s larger than the fear of staying. Abuse, shunning, addiction, being overworked and used. Eventually, we have to make the choice of staying in a situation that we know might kill us, or make the jump into the unknown and hope there’s something out there to catch us. Like jumping from a burning building, unable to see through the smoke and yet knowing that anything is better than staying near the blaze.

The other option is less painful, but the church actively works to make it impossible. Instead of increasing the fear of staying, you have to reduce the fear of leaving.

Making friends outside the church, meeting people who are happy without the gospel, finding those with nuanced ideas on your principles. Creating a community, a landing pad to aim for when you jump for safety.

The church doesn’t want this, of course. But I want that for my loved ones still stuck in that great and spacious burning building, so I’m going to do my best to build them a soft place to fall.

#exmo #exmormon #excult #my parents have been in it all their life #it’s going to be hard for them no matter what #and pushing them will only make them retreat further #the best I can do is help them pull themselves back together when they inevitably crack #they’re getting closer every day #no longer making my siblings go to church or doing family scripture study #reading things that come from outside the church #it just hurts to be patient #leaving

[hymnsinthebathtub]

I always got the the impression that when we went to Heaven all our thoughts and actions would be played back to us like a massive movie and TBH I'm still haunted by that. I'll have the most harmless thought and randomly the side of my brain that's not all the way deprogrammed will step in like umm... do you really want to be seeing yourself think this in the next life?

#exmo #exmormon #excult

[punkindness]

take a last breath before hell weekend.

you breathing?

good. we’ll get through this.

#apostake #exmormon #exmo #ex mormon #ex mo #exlds #ex lds #excult #ex cult #reblog

[chronicallyadhdexmo]

i’ve been seeing more posts lately about misused cult abuse terms/tactics and it’s pretty nice ngl. as a whole cults/cult trauma tends to be ignored, dismissed or just unknown, and so the terms that are specific to it are easily used out of context (not that other terms aren’t but)

it’s good to see people becoming aware of cults outside of a vague ‘horror movie’ context, and the unique abuse pattern of them discussed.

#parker talks #parker is an exmo #excult #cult survivor #ex cult #exmo #ex lds #ex mormon #apostake #apostate #it’s been a minute since i’ve done all the tags lmao

[leavingthepcg]

Lifton's Eight Criteria helps to identify high control groups, or cults. The eight criteria include:

Milieu Control Perhaps the most important aspect of what makes a "high-demand group" is information and communication control. Members are often isolated from "outsiders", including outside sources not approved by leaders within the group, and family or friends that are not part of the group. Members are often made to "cut off" family and friends that are considered hostile toward the group.

Mystical Manipulation High-demand groups, particularly religious ones, will often use or manipulate events in order to further their message and bolster their doctrine. Examples of this are making prophecies or predictions that get repeatedly altered or forgotten about, or pointing to past predictions as being confirmed by a current event.

Demand for Purity Humans are flawed, and high demand groups exploit this fact by demanding perfection of their members. Sometimes, groups will even acknowledge that perfection is unachievable, but that individuals are perpetually at fault for being the only reason they cannot achieve it. This enhances feelings of guilt and shame, leading the member to feel as if the only way to improve themselves is to seek help from the group.

Confession High control groups exploit their members emotionally by having them "confess" supposed wrongdoings to another member or members. This makes the member vulnerable and constantly alert to their own and others' "sins". It is the promotion of hyper-policing of self and peers.

Sacred Science The group's ideology is held as the ultimate, capital-T "Truth"; it is the one standard by which all aspects of life must be measured. This often leads to science-denial, conspiracy-minded thinking, and isolating oneself based on the belief that others are unenlightened.

Loaded Language Members of cults will often reveal that they are a member of an in-group in the use of language. The group creates unique vocabulary, or changes/enhances the use of a term in order to create a doctrine of thought. This tactic helps to reform the member's thought process by embedding concepts into their minds that can be easily repeated and recognized through the repeated use of a simple phrase or word.

Doctrine Over Person Group belief is held as the ultimate "truth", trumping personal experience, beliefs, values, or reasoning. If the member feels or believes that something about the group is "off" or "untrue", they are taught to dismiss those thoughts and to internalize guilt about having "doubts".

Dispensing of Existence This describes the portion of thought control that creates an "us vs. them" attitude in the member. The member may be convinced that those outside the group are "sinful", "damned", "unenlightened", "ignorant", etc.

#cult awareness #cult survivor #excult #armstrongism #high demand groups #deprogramming #lifton's eight criteria #support network #support group

[exmovibes]

SUP NERDS GUESS WHOS A FULL FLEDGED EXMO NOW LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

#ive been waiting for this for YEARS #i can actually call myself 'ex' mormon and mean it now #exmo #exmormon #ex mormon #excult #ex mo #ex cult #cult survivor #exlds #apostate

[itsraining-somewhereelse]

They said the people who left simply didn’t have enough faith,

Lost sheep, sure to be influenced by satan, sure to have sorrow struck deep in their bones, sure to return

I was told that if I stayed in the lines, (clearly painted in red over the messy world) that I would be saved. That if I had enough faith, paid their tithe, went to church, I would be fine. Repeated their words, covered my sinful body, hid away my bad thoughts, I would be accepted. Prayed harder, doubted my doubts, begged forgiveness, I would be loved.

They said the people who left were:

Wrong. 

Bad. 

Evil.

I did nothing wrong. 

I need you to understand, to repeat it, to look at me and know the truth in your bones.

I did nothing wrong. 

I did nothing wrong. 

I did nothing wrong.

I had enough faith, I stayed in the lines, I cried in prayer deep at night, I did nothing wrong. I covered my sinful body, I hid away my bad thoughts, I did nothing wrong. I was a lost sheep only by virtue of being cast out of the flock, banished from their heaven. I did nothing wrong. 

Witness it.

My pain, my hurt, my sorrow.

Witness me. 

They punished and reviled me. 

Witness me. 

They blamed me for my agony.

Witness me. 

They burned me for my imperfections. 

Witness me.

Yet they could not remove me from myself. 

I did nothing wrong.

Witness me.

WITNESS ME.

#excult #exmo #religious trauma #spilled ink #I went ‘this ending is uncomfortably intense lemme edit it’ & then made it more intense lmao #purity culture #exmormon #trauma #Ask to cw #rain speaks

[icannotgetoverbirds]

a compilation of the ai-generated images i've made today

the one that started it all

One of my personal favorites:

#undescribed images #ai generated #byrd is an exmo #exmo #im feeling very exmo in this chilis tonight #exmormon #ex mormon #ex cult #unreality #tw unreality #unreality tw #exchristian #ex christian #ex evangelical #ex lds #ex religious #excult #exlds #exvangelical #apostake #exmo stuff #byrd chirps #im so glad they updated the image limit #FOR LEGAL REASONS THESE ARE JOKES

[heartjia]

a comic about excommunication x

#art tag #artists on tumblr #excult #exevangelical #exjw

[prismfever]

shoutout to trans folks with religious trauma who have chosen to reclaim biblical names or names associated with their previous religion <3 the POWER we hold !!! 🤍

#my name is elijah and im an exjw and my name literally means jehovah is my god or something like that #it also appears in the bible but yeah #we r just SUPERIOR #reclaiming biblical names as our own is something that can be so special #exjw #ex cult #ex jw #pimo #apostate #ex christian #ex cultist #ex jehovahs witness #excult #exmorman #exmo #ex evangelical #atheist #agnostic #eli.txt