#except that it has parkour and stealth
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The first drawing I did of My beloved OC on Autodest Sketchbook from this year. 🥹🥹🥹💕💕💕
During the months I been getting better and his design had been changing but the basics are still there. Meet my oc Marcus Williams (this is the first drawing in Autodest Sketchbook I did this year, my boy without his tac suit, just half naked because back then I was learning how to use the app of Sketchbook) and down this description you will see his art gallery. If You want to know more about him, I will answer all the question you can have.🥺🥺🥺🥹🥹🥹👉👈👉👈❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤
Here is Marcus profile and lore:
Name: MARCUS WILLIAMS
Alias: Black Wolf /Chicago Vigilante / The Devil of Chicago.
Occupation: MARSOC "Marine Special Operations Command" (former), Vigilante, Demon.
Skills: Stealth, Hacking, Superhuman Strenght, Speed, Knives Master, Motorbike Master Rider, Combat Hand to Hand, Parkour.
Date of Birth: May 22th, 1985.
Place of Birth : Chicago, USA.
Age: 38 years.
Nationality: American (however, there are rumors that he has British heritage thanks to his father who hails from the UK).
Hair: Black.
Eyes Color: Green.
Height: 6'8" (2,03m).
Build: Muscular and athletic.
Facial Hair: A beard that covers his face except for the chin.
Features: He is brave, fearless, humble, courageous, resourceful, loyal, most of time a serious guy, generous, a bit self confident, respectful, considered, hardworking, daring, adventurous, honest, intelligent (some enemies thinks just because he is a big guy, he is just muscle and not brains, when he is complete the contrary, he is a tactical guy, study his prey and then attacks when they least know it), charming when he opens a little bit with people, reserved, protector, polite, calm, a bit grumpy, skillful, thoughtful, trustworthy, lovely, obssesive when it comes into getting his objective.
Distinguishing Feature: At first stay, people can see the 5 scars that cover his face (three covering his right side of his face and one on his chin, and the burned scar from his left side of his left eye), especially the burn scar on his left eye (in a mirror looks like is his right eye, but is left technically) and the intense green color of his eyes. Without the top clothes, it shows that he has a crisscross scar on his right pectoral and a large scar on his left pectoral, a little scar between the middle of his torso and left pectoral (mirrored could be look as right), a scar on his left side, another scar on his left clavicle, three claw scars on his left shoulder and his back is full of deep burn scars.
Skin tone: Natural Beige with a bit of Warm Beige
Dominant Hand: He is skilled with both hands.
Clothing Style: Marcus usually wears black leather or military pants, a gold belt, a black leather jacket with an almost wine red shirt underneath and wearing leather gloves without fingertips.
Affiliations: MARSOC "Marine Special Operations Command" (formely).
Story: Once a MARSOC soldier, who was part of a Black Ops special team who dedícated to extraction, infiltration and rescue from innocent people until disaster struck in an operation that forced him to leave the squadron and later the MARSOC forces.
For a long time he wandered looking for his purpose, being a vigilante on the streets of Chicago who took care of various mafias and gangs, becoming a fugitive by the police, however, he was never caught.
During one of his missions, which consisted of rescuing the daughter of a CEO from a proliferated company at a Gas Plant, a tragedy occurred in which unfortunately, the girl dies and along with her, Marcus too, however, a strange entity brought him back to life as a demon, a creature that would feed on corrupted souls that got in its way and for every evil life it took, his penance to be able to achieve redemption would be settled.
However, a price would be paid for each soul: little by little his humanity would be lost until someone could help him control the monster he had now become and face enemies fron the past and present who seek him either to settle scores or consume his power.
However, Marcus will not be alone in this crusade, counting on the help of beings that he never imagined were real and that were only myths and tales of cultures that he believed to be superstitious.
At the moment, his home resides in Chicago, taking care of the mafias that surround the city, enjoying the rock music of the 80's, his motorcycle and dressing all rocker with his leather jacket and pants.
Likes: Marcus is a whiskey lover, motorbike lover (don't touch his bike if he doesn't let you), his leather jacket, 80's rock music, bring justice to innocents, to get mad his enemies to the point to made them going into madness after facing his demon form, driving on desert roads. Also as a fit person he is used to eat food that balance a good health diet, but sometimes he would eat a piece of chocolate cake once for a while (especially if the cake was made by his mom).
Dislikes: Justice not being served, Corruption, abuse of authority, innocent people getting hurt, criminals, children getting hurt.
Okay!!! I... I would love to share with You my beloved OC demon boy Marcus Williams.
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Fnaf system reboot au
Returning redesigned characters: good guy character’s info/descriptions (canon)
1. Glamrock Bonnie bunnle: a animatronic bunny and a main character in the au story. Bonnie is a member of the glamrock band who plays the bass guitar, Bonnie is the head mascot of Bonnie bowl where he competed against others, Bonnie much like his other bandmates acts more human than machine. Species: animatronic bunny/reborn soul. Soul: Shawn Maven. Date of creation: July - 30th - 20xx early. Appearance: Bonnie appearance is inspired by many concept arts, except he’s blue and has violet eyes, he also wears heart sunglasses. Personality: Bonnie is smart, friendly, clumsy, shy, excitable, dorky, talkative, fun loving. Corrupted personality: when infected by the g-t virus Bonnie is intelligent, deceptive, reckless, aggressive, obsessive. Facts/info: Bonnie actually prefers golf than bowling, he actually gave Monty his old sunglasses and got a new pair. Power/features: animatronic physiology (strength/speed/durability/advance ai/inbuilt e-manual/databank archive), enhanced audio features (sound sensors/vibration detectors/sound translation/audio triggers), spiritual awareness, ghost haunting. Skills: keen intellect, adept learning, empathy/sympathy, caretaking expertise, tracking expertise. Likes: friends/family, bass guitars, bowling, reading. Dislikes: violence, scary things, making mistakes.
2. Glamrock foxy pyro: a animatronic fox and a main character in the au story. Foxy is a member of the glamrock band and while he doesn’t have a instrument like the rest of them he does help with the music and stuff, foxy is the head mascot of kids cove where he inspires children to be pirates, foxy is actually the 2nd most human than machine animatronic just behind Freddy. Species: animatronic fox/reborn soul. Soul: Jeremy Fitzgerald. Date of creation: July - 5th - 20xx early. Appearance: foxy has a red and black color scheme, he has long light orange hair and orange eyes, like Funtime foxy he has no eyepatch or hook, his pants are black and white panther spotting. Personality: foxy is smart, cunning, crafty, sarcastic, relentless, tough, friendly, caring. Corrupted personality: foxy becomes unworkable when infected with the g-t virus. Facts/info: foxy prefers to spend most of his time by himself but does like it when others are around, he and Freddy are frenemies. Powers/features: animatronic physiology (immense strength/immense speed/immense agility/durability/advance ai/ inbuilt e-manual/databank archive), spiritual awareness, 6th sense, ghost haunting. Skills: high intelligence, raw cunning, adept learning, leadership, self defense, stealth. Likes: friends/family, pirates, boats, the ocean, relaxation. Dislikes: rude/Annoying people.
3. Starlight ballora: a animatronic humanoid and a important character in the au story. Ballora was once a attraction at the mega pizzaplex but she managed to somehow escape and has been hunted down by fazbear entertainment ever since, she like the glamrocks also seems to be haunted. Species: animatronic humanoid/reborn soul. Soul: Serena afton/mrs afton. Date of creation: unknown. Appearance: ballora appearance is inspired by concept art for glamrock ballora with original works as well, she has purple hair and yellow eyes. Personality: ballora is intelligent, calm, levelheaded, caring, helpful, responsible, relentless. Facts/info: urban legends have been going around that a mysterious cloaked figures goes around helping people. Powers/features: animatronic physiology (strength/immense speed/immense agility/immense flexibility/durability/advance ai/inbuilt e-manual/databank archives), faceplate split, body part detachment/reattachment, hologram projection, light/sound frequency changer, grappling wires, purple smoke release, spiritual awareness, ghost haunting, telepathy. Skills: genius level intelligence, strategic planning, adept learning, leadership, empathy/sympathy, parkour, gymnastics/acrobatics, science expertise. Likes: family/friends, studying life/biology, art/music, singing/dancing, resting. Dislikes: evil/malicious/selfish acts.
Other minor (not so important) older redesigned animatronics/entertainment bits (just for fun lol)
1. Glamrock mangel
2. Glamrock bonnet
3. Mr chef cupcake
4. Bubble balloon boy
5. Bubble jj
6. Polly patcher (what I call rockstar foxy’s parrot)
7. Mini joe
8. Oracle gypsy. (What I call the sister location gypsy thing)
9. Partybab
10. Fairyreena
11. Glamrock el chip
12. Glamrock Mr hippo
13. Glamrock Orville elephant
14. Glamrock happy frog
15. Glamrock pigpatch
16. Glamrock neddbear
17. Giant candy cadet
18. Grand prize king
19. Glamrock yenndo
20. Glamrock lolbit
21. Service helpy
22. Sugar baby
23. Neon puppet
24. Glamrock fredbear/golden freddy
25. Glamrock springbonnie/glamtrap
26. Handunit 2.0
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More Information for the Anti-Terrorist Strike Force (A.T.S.F.)
Members of the Anti-Terrorist Strike Force (A.T.S.F.). It is a group of skilled individuals with various abilities, including Nen abilities, who work together to combat terrorism and protect civilians. The A.T.S.F. is led by the Zodiac Captain Botobai Gigante, and includes members such as Angelina Cortez, Jasper Thompson, Sabrina Williams, Ethan Reed, Levi Rodriguez, Chloe Kim, Olivia Patel, and Ryan Flores. The team is known for its extensive knowledge in security and anti-terrorist measures, and serves as a military analyst and public prosecutor. It is a powerful force that was founded and lead by the Dragon Zodiac dedicated to taking down large terrorist groups or criminal organizations.
《HxH OC》
Name: Levi "Leap" Rodriguez
Age: 26
Natural Nen Type: Enhancer
Skills: Levi is a formidable combatant and reconnaissance specialist, thanks to his exceptional physical capabilities and battlefield situational awareness. He is also skilled in stealth and agility, making him well-suited for reconnaissance missions. In addition to these skills, Levi is a strategic thinker, able to quickly assess and adapt to changing situations on the battlefield. He is also adept at strategical retreat, able to retreat from danger and regroup with his team. As a support member in large scale battles, Levi's incredible speed allows him to quickly travel long distances and provide backup to his teammates if they are in danger.
Personality: Levi is an energetic and enthusiastic individual with a love for adventure. He is fiercely loyal to his team and will do whatever it takes to protect them. Despite his reckless tendencies, Levi takes his missions seriously and is a respected member of the A.T.S.F.
Background: Levi was an orphan born and grow up in an urban city located in the south eastern region of The United States of Saherta (U.S.S.). From a young age, he was known for his exceptional physical abilities, which he developed through street racing and parkour. At the age of 16, he was recruited into the A.T.S.F. by the Dragon Zodiac, due to his potential as a nen user. Under the personal guidance of the Dragon Zodiac, Levi became an expert nen user in just five years. At the age of 21, he received his hunter license and participated in numerous missions with the other A.T.S.F. members. He is the youngest member of the current A.T.S.F. members.
• Likes: Adventure, excitement, parkour, street racing, fast-paced activities, teamwork, loyalty
• Dislikes: Boredom, inaction, betrayal, being held back, dangerous situations that put his team in danger
Nen ability:
[Bunny in the Clouds]
Type: Enhancement
Levi's nen ability, "Bunny in the Clouds" allows him to perform incredible leaps and acrobatics, easily navigating and traversing any terrain. This ability grants him extra dexterity, high jump power, speed, and body flexibility, making him a formidable opponent in combat and a valuable asset in reconnaissance missions. Levi's ability also allows him to react quickly to unexpected situations and evade danger with ease.
To use this ability, Levi must focus his nen energy and make hand gestures that mimic a rabbit's movements. This helps him channel and control the nen energy required to activate his ability. Levi must also maintain his focus and control over his nen energy in order to sustain his ability, as it drains a significant amount of nen to use. Finally, Levi must be mindful of his physical limits, as using his ability excessively can lead to physical fatigue and injury.
Levi has spent years honing and refining his nen ability, practicing and experimenting with different ways to use it. He has developed a variety of techniques and tactics to make the most of his ability, such as using his high jump power to launch surprise attacks or his speed and agility to outmaneuver his opponents. Levi's ability has proven to be a valuable asset in the A.T.S.F., allowing him to excel in combat and reconnaissance.
Ways he uses his ability:
• As a combatant, Levi could use his ability to quickly and agilely move around the battlefield, dodging attacks and closing in on opponents. He could also use his ability to perform high-speed attacks or launch surprise attacks from unexpected angles.
• In a support role, Levi could use his ability to quickly traverse the battlefield and provide backup to his teammates when they are in danger. He could also use his ability to help evacuate wounded teammates or retrieve important items.
• For reconnaissance missions, Levi could use his ability to easily navigate and traverse difficult terrain, such as climbing walls or jumping over obstacles. He could also use his ability to quickly move between different locations to gather information or observe enemy movements.
• In addition to these more traditional uses, Levi could also use his ability to perform creative and unexpected maneuvers, such as using his agility to escape from tight situations or using his speed to quickly and covertly gather intelligence. The possibilities for creative use of Levi's ability are endless, and he could continue to develop and improve his ability as he gains more experience and skill.
#hunter x hunter#original character#hxh oc#digital drawing#oc artwork#oc stuff#hunter x hunter oc#oc art
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Assassin's Creed Mirage: Basim's Path from Naiveté to Noble Resolve
In the Assassin's Creed Mirage video game, the plot follows a classic Creed narrative. Players experience Basim's journey from a naive boy to a confident man who stands up against authority. Similar to Ezio and Altair, his motives are honorable, shaping his personality. He exudes charm and endearment, adding joy to every step he takes in his pursuit of equality. However, beneath his confident facade, haunting visions shatter his psyche, causing self-doubt. This evolution of the traditional protagonist occurs as Basim's vulnerabilities allow players to forge a stronger bond with the character.
Assassin's Creed Mirage videogame presents a stripped-back tale that is more refined than recent outings in the franchise, making the story more compelling. While there are side stories, the focus lies in dissecting the Order of the Ancients, which feeds into the mission structure. Before an assassination, the player must gather intel. This comprises different missions to learn about the target, eventually leading to the confirmation of the character's identity and location. The structure harkens back to earlier titles and helps capture the notion of being an assassin. Mirage manages to balance mechanics from the entire franchise to create a game that celebrates its rich history. Basim is much more agile than Eivor and can cross the terrain in style. The dense world includes wonderful lines that allow Basim to acrobatically get from A to B. Tightropes, tree branches, and poles give Basim the ability to stay unseen on the rooftops while searching for objectives. Many elements that aid parkour make a return. Vertical lifts, swingable environmental items, and ziplines make free running the best it has felt in years, ensuring that players have a seamless and exhilarating experience as they navigate the game world, all while contemplating which PS5 games to buy next to further enhance their gaming adventures.
A Vibrant World of Beauty, Stealth, and Consequence
In the game "Assassin's Creed Mirage," beautiful vistas fill the world and encourage exploration. Market stalls are congested, and citizens meander the streets in groups. If the player character is wanted or performs a crime in their presence, they will shout for guards and highlight the character's location. This mechanic is a great way to enhance the importance of stealth and make the in-game world feel alive. Posters adorn the walls of cities, and removing these posters lowers the character's wanted level, allowing them to return to anonymity and continue their journey, perhaps with more freedom to explore and decide which PS5 games to buy next to complement their gaming experience.
In "Assassin's Creed Mirage," the combat system has undergone several transformations throughout the series. While many players may have a preference for a particular style, Mirage successfully balances numerous mechanics to create a comprehensive combat system that caters to both longtime fans and newcomers. Players have the option to anticipate enemy strikes, parry them, and deliver a visceral insta-kill, or they can gradually deplete the enemy's stagger bar to gain the upper hand. Managing multiple adversaries can be challenging, requiring players to carefully observe and evade incoming attacks to avoid deadly strikes. This highlights the increased significance of stealth in the game, which I'm pleased to report is the best it has ever been, making it an even more enticing choice for players who appreciate stealthy gameplay and are on the lookout for exceptional PS5 games to buy that cater to their preferences.
The Tactical Advantage of Enkidu in Assassin's Creed Mirage
In Assassin's Creed Mirage, surveillance plays a crucial role, and your trusty eagle, Enkidu, is there to provide support. You can use Enkidu to scout out areas and identify the locations of guards before venturing into fortified areas. While this mechanic isn't new to the series, it marks the first time it has been integrated into a stealth-focused iteration. This enhancement greatly improves your ability to infiltrate areas discreetly and exit without leaving a trace, allowing you to plan your route effectively.
The thrill of lingering in the shadows is palpable. You are equipped with the tools to dispatch enemies swiftly and silently without alerting others. In addition to hiding in the shadows and using whistling to draw in foes, you can eliminate guards with a deadly blow dart and vanish from sight with the assistance of a smoke bomb. A noteworthy addition is the Assassin’s Focus, reminiscent of Splinter Cell: Conviction's Mark and Execute feature. With this ability, you can efficiently clear an area in a slick and stylish manner. Timing is of the essence, as you must fill your gauge to activate it. There's nothing more satisfying than stealthily maneuvering through a heavily guarded area, utilizing all your abilities to eliminate your target, and then slipping away without leaving a trace.
Assassin's Creed Mirage: A Return to the Essence of Assassination
Assassin’s Creed Mirage represents a return to form for the series. While the RPG titles provided expansive worlds, there's an undeniable appeal to the smaller, tightly woven areas that align with the essence of an assassin's life. The reduced scope and emphasis on stealth bring a refreshing change, elevating the moment-to-moment gameplay to sheer enjoyment. The diverse combat mechanics empower players to adapt to any situation they encounter, and missions grant the freedom to chart your path to the objective. Mirage brilliantly amalgamates elements from the franchise's history, resulting in the best installment the series has delivered in years.
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ok so im 17 hours into the game and Stuff Has Started Happening
i looked up people’s opinions on it and while a lot of people agree that it starts slow a lot consider it the best or just think that it has some of the best parts of the trilogy. so i decided to try changing my approach, and instead of focusing on the things i hate, i’ll try focusing on the things i do like
and you know what. the combat is one of those things. i am not playing these games for the combat but in this one i can fight groups of guards one after the other and be fine despite having barely any health and only 5 healing substances. whereas in ac2 i’d still get destroyed if i took on 5 guards in the late-game when i had a like 30 health and 15 healing substances. idk what it i about it but being able to kick people while fighting them really helps and i’ve figured out how to block and then one-shot kill them altho i’m still trying to learn how to disarm them.
it also has this new feature where if you hit a guy multiple times and then push a directional key you’ll one-shot the guy you hit next in that direction. that’s why taking on bigger groups isn’t a problem even with barely any health. and the fact that you can lock onto targets from way further away is extremely helpful. EXTREMELY HELPFUL. SO REALLY FUCKING HELPFUL. I CAN JUST SNIPE EVERYONE FROM EVERYWHERE THIS IS MY FAVOURITE PLAYSTYLE. oh and have i mentioned you can buy a crossbow. at first i wasn’t so sure about it bc the pistol already exists and is even faster now but its a crossbow. ITS A FUCKING CROSSBOW. IF A GUY IS TRYING TO SHOOT ME WITH A COSSBOW I CAN JUST SHOOT HIM WITH A CROSSBOW. AND IT HAS MORE AMMO THAN THE PISTOL. throwing knives who lol. i barely used them in ac2 after i got the pistol since they don’t one-shot guards but the pistol and now the crossbow do. and seeing ezio actually shoot with it and then put it on his back is amazing. so fucking cool.
speaking of there’s still story-related stealth segments like i had to free caterina from this huge ass castle or whatever and it took so long like getting detected wasn’t a huge deal it just prevented full-sync so i tried my best not to get detected and it went really well i wasn’t 100% able to do it but i could. at some point. because i can snipe everyone from a distance. also you can still ledge-kill and kill from a hiding spot and basically all the coolest shit aaaaaaaaa it’s so cool
oh and now i can recruit assassins. which makes sense i guess like this isn’t called broterhood for nothing lol. but that’s so cool. and there’s like assassin towers and they can level up and you can also like call them to help you out i think??? idk it’s cool. and as much as i hate rome i kinda like rebuilding it like it’s helping the people and it’s really not their fault that everything sucks in their city u know lmao. i guess story-wise the writing is fine so far like this game is basically about ezio trying to fix his mistake at the end of ac2 so that’s fine and makes sense. but holy fucking shit i can’t believe ezio is still so cool. i was like ‘why would i want to play as a 40 year old man” towards the end of ac2 but he’s so fucking cool. everything he does is just so cool even outside the cutscenes but especially during them. and every time i do a parkouring sequence i just marvel at how strong he is. the game really makes his climbing feel realistic and i can’t help it ahhh
so rn i’m a bit more open to doing some of the sidequests and trying to rebuild as much of rome as i can. bc otherwise i’ll drown in the money like heck i get so much money. im always so rich except for when i need to be. BUT ALSO HAVE I MENTIONED YOU CAN BUY BUILDINGS. as in you find a specific landmark like the pantheon and then you can pay like 40k to buy it. idk what that does but it’s a thing. a m a z i n g
still hate rome though. still not gonna bother with the feathers tho (seriously where the hek are they how have i gone 15 hours without seeing one of them WHAT THE HECK)
on another note tho i’ve figured out that i can in fact do that one move i thought i couldn’t during an assassin tomb. turns out im a fucking idiot and i was just mashing the wrong button. you don’t even have to mash you just gotta hit it once and ezio knows what to do. i feel like the parkouring is also a tiny bit better here. idk if i just figured out how to use the controls properly or if it’s actually better, but he’s less likely to fling himself in the opposite direction now which is nice.
he does still keep running up walls when i can’t angle the camera fast enough and i hate it so much its the worst thing but. other than that it works mostly. except for when he’s committed to doing a combo with his weapon and he... falls off the building... when the enemy is already dead... i don’t know if that’s a bug or a feature and i can’t rmr if it was a thing in ac2. it’s funny tho :’)
#my posts#gameblogging#liveblogging ac#yea i changed the tag#anyway yea maybe i don't wanna rush through the game after all like it's still good#it's still assassin's creed and ezio u know like i'd feel guilty if i ignored everything#read more#long post#my rambles
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Always bugged me(i mean... me and i assume every other batfan on the planet on some level or another...) that the Batfam always has these wildly fluctuating and often nonsensical power levels. I get that's just an innate problem of having infinite different writers and the ritualistic reboot once a decade, and the musical chairs game of who gets to wear the plot armor in any given story... And I keep wanting to make a radial stat chart to map the different individual skill levels and specialties(and honestly to customize them into a sort of balance I think makes more sense.)
But somehow this always falls apart for me once I start trying to really boil the batman skill set down to something sufficiently granular... Because sure, there's the martial arts, the detective skills, the techie/gadgeteer stuff going on... But martial arts breaks down to empty hand and weapons, and melee and ranged, and striking vs grappling; techie runs the gamut from soft computer skills to electrical engineering as opposed to mechanical or architectural, etc... The acrobatics and parkour and general athletics that brush up against the martial arts and even gadgeteering via ninjutsu... the ninjutsu that then runs up against stealth, disguise and espionage, which in turn rubs shoulders with some of the archetypal detective routine... And the disguise and espionage gets into street smarts and the intimate knowledge of Gotham itself which feels like a weird thing to even quantify, yet it absolutely is something some of the batkids do better than others: the ones who know Gotham as seen from the other side of a screen or from the tops of buildings, a maze of streets and alleys with flagged locations where valuable things are liable to go missing, vs the kids who actually know the city from the street and the trivia of who actually goes where and for what, where and how people both victims and criminals actually live their lives.f
Anyway as you can probably tell this constant splitting of hairs just means I keep ending up with a radial graph with, like, a dozen axis and that's to convoluted to be any use, or even readable for that matter...
The unfortunate consequence of a less detail oriented approach to writing the batfam is that every member of the batfam in isolation ges treated as if they have the exact same balance of skills at batman, but worse according to the seniority of what other batfam members are present. Yet what I find most compelling is the idea that Batman is not and has never been The Best at any one thing he does, only the best as everything-he-does; as in he's the only one who utilizes the full package at the level he operates at. But in turn that every one of his proteges is better than him in at least one category.(except maybe Damian, who appropriately is just a tiny Batman waiting to grow into the role and indeed the only person who can rightly outclass Batman in the whole package approach)
but i feel like there would be such utility writing wise to be able to match end to end, like dominos, which batfam members compliment or supplement one another....
I like the idea that Tim might be the galaxy brain hacker detective who can see the patterns and fish information out of a cellphone, but Steph is the one that's actually good with her hands when it comes to breaking into a building, evaluating the blindspots of a security system's hardware, working on a car, dismantling some gimmicky supervillain deathtrap, etc...
That Luke and Babs are the ones who share the commonality of excelling in a formal education; unlike their undeniably intelligent but distracted and hooky prone batsiblings. They know the city's history, neighborhood by neighborhood, they know the weird trivia about every major building and who built it, who owned it, who lived in it, and what it was used for over the past 200 years.
That Dick and Cass are the natural athletes of the family. Where everyone else is athletically fit and talented even, only these two (okay and again I guess Damian...) were really born and raised to be physically fluent first and foremost. What the others, even Bruce, can do tactically they can achieve reflexively.
Also Damian and Jason really need to have more of a bonding experience over having died and been brought back by the Lazarus pit. I know batman has this weird kind of unspoken we-don't-talk-about-the-occult rule, but, like... They both experienced death first hand and came back... Have them talk to Spectre, or Jason Blood, or Constantine or something...
And speaking of "dead" Robins, Jason and Steph really need to talk more about that time in 2004 when they BOTH independently tried to enact plans to take over Gotham's gangland.
One of the Helenas is/was a spy now, right? her and whatever weird nebulous iteration of the original Batwoman was behind Spyral. Do they have any kind of a working relationship with Julia Pennyworth?
How many of the batfam still have any actual working knowledge of the legal system? Was Dick still a cop in the current continuity? (although with the new infinite frontier anti-continuity thing does that even matter?) And babs still has a degree in law, right? or did they replace that with one in forensic psych?
Speaking of the law, what about the kids who have more personal feelings about the other side of it? Jason, Steph, Harper (sort of Duke? if we count his dad being a supervillain, but that was less law breaking villainy and more cosmic shenanigans...) all ought to have a lot to talk about growing up on the opposite end of town than Wayne Manor.
And what about Damian and Cass both being raised by a cult of assassins and needing to be basically fully deprogrammed and assimilated into normal civilian lives?
While the whole family might have the full repertoire of bat gizmos at their disposal, some prefer to work up close, while others function best keeping a distance, and others still only use certain tools as a last resort. I imagine Cass would never use the bat gadgets at all if she didn't have to. I imagine Dick is the first to whip out the grappling line and take to the air, even when it might not be necessary or the most efficient. I imagine Tim loves to dip into every gadget at every opportunity just because he can, because he's a dweeb and a batman fanboy at heart... and this sort of circles back around to the giant string of batfam fighting styles rants that I can never iron out into something postable... so I've come full circle to drafts I was wrestling with at the start of pandemic...
Anyway, I dunno, what do you think are some of the essential "core skills" of a Batfam vigilante?
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“Did you just hit me? With a pillow? Oh. It’s on now.” for Sam and Bucky aka the weiner club
Sam has seen some questions floating around on the internet about the worst thing that came out of World War II. He has a lot of answers.
But he thinks he has the final answer as to the worst thing that came out of World War II:
James Buchanan Barnes.
What a dumbass.
For one thing, absolutely wrecked his credit score when he ripped his steering wheel right out of his car. It was a new car too, just gotten and Sam had gotten a fancy car-freshener, not one of the trees that was labeled Black Ice. You know, the scent that every guy-in-his-twenties had. No, he was getting fancy in life. Upgrading, as it were.
And then this absolute goddamn travesty of a human being with a metal arm that was more indestructible than that one spoon that keeps getting stuck in the garbage disposal and somehow makes it out.
Steve brings him back. And now Bucky--which is a very stupid name--is currently stealing all of Sam’s fancy oatmeal and he knows he’s doing it.
Bucky is having a lot of fun at Sam’s expense, and Sam can’t say shit about it because Bucky goes “oh boo I’m a traumatized war veteran who had to go to Russia for like fifty years. Let me eat your oatmeal you stupid bitch” and Sam has to let him.
So Sam decides that he will just refuse to ever interact with Bucky on any level except Enemy.
Sharon tells him he’s being a tad dramatic.
“That oatmeal cost me seven dollars every week and he fucking eats it.”
“Not all of it,” Sharon says. “He’s not bad, he’s just messing with you. Steve is still treating him like he’s one of those glass figurines that Bruce collects.”
“Bruce collects glass figurines? What?”
“Yeah. I think he finds them in thrift shops and just collects them. I can’t decide if it’s an intimidation tactic for the Hulk or for Tony.”
“Tony is scared of glass figurines?”
“He’s scared of breaking stuff. Don’t ask, it involves Pepper.”
“Oh. I think it’s weird that you know him on such a personal level.”
“Why?”
“I was literally just telling you the last time I went grocery shopping and you told me, and I quote, ‘stop telling me all this personal shit I have limited memory storage in my brain’.”
“It’s because I do. I don’t give a shit about your grocery purchases unless any of it is for me.”
“Very self-centered.”
“Quite. But give Bucky a little leeway.”
“Absolutely not.”
-
Bucky absolutely knows what he is doing. He really and truly does. He’s been texting Maria Hill about the whole thing, who finds it absolutely hilarious.
In fact, everyone knows what he’s doing. Except for Steve, which makes it even funnier.
Steve is under the impression that Bucky has no idea that that was Sam’s oatmeal, or Sam’s favorite coffee cup.
He most definitely knows it. But Sam has funny reactions, and in all honesty, a lot of it isn’t that big a deal.
And then Sam wacks him with a pillow.
“You hit me. With a pillow.” Sam wacks him again.
“Oh, it’s on now.”
The Pillow Wars commence.
There are three rules:
1.) No headshots. Those are mean and stupid and bad.
2.) You cannot use any of the pillows that Tony or Pepper bought. Both are incredibly enamored with their own interior design and decoration choices, and will not be messed with. It took Bucky only once to learn this. He was threatened to be launched out by an arm, and it wasn’t gonna be his left.
3.) Steve and Bruce cannot know
This is mainly for humor purpose. Steve--maybe--would be fine with it. Bruce knows too much about how brains work and how maybe Bucky gets hit with a pillow and Something Bad happens.
So begins the Secret War.
Sam ditches an official interview to sneak on a plane and absolutely wreck Bucky with pillows.
Bucky stealth attacks from ceilings.
The most entertaining is when other people are in the room and the AI Friday informs of “Dr. Banner’s” or “Captain Rogers’s” imminent arrival.
“Hey Steve-o,” Bucky says, just casually draping his arm over Sam’s shoulders. (And potentially maybe holding him quite tightly so as to not have him escape. He’s made the mistake before.) “What’s going on in the world with you?”
“Nat and I are going to practice parkour,” Steve says. “You guys have gotten...closer?”
“Yeah,” Sam says, grinning. “Best buds, us two. Peas in a pod.”
“Or more,” Steve teases. “I’m right, right? The hugs, the way that Sam was on top of you earlier, Buck...my two friends dating?”
They freeze.
They can’t tell him no, because then Steve is going to know that they’ve been fighting.
“Yes,” Bucky answers. “Sam asked me out a couple weeks ago. We’ve been trying to take it slow, but you know how modern men are. Too quick for their own damn good.”
Sam wants to fucking murder him.
Because this? Exactly what he wanted to avoid.
“I hate you.”
“Love you too. Baby.”
“Oh, ‘baby’? That’s the one you’re going with? Listen you fucking asshole--”
“Nope! Sorry!”
-
This leads to dating. And even more lying.
Because Sam has to keep it up and pretend like he’s been sharing his oatmeal. They have to go out on actual dates because Steve “checks in” on his runs that he takes (he takes multiple because he’s insane) and they have to be in love.
It is disgusting.
Bucky has had to use hard-earned money to get Sam stupid shit like flowers and “just thinking of you” gifts and a birthday present. He had to spend money on a nice shirt and a cute plant that Sam will like.
This is what changes things, by the way.
Bucky was not supposed to be thinking about how Sam has been wanting a peppermint plant for a while, but he won’t fucking shut up about it and he won’t stop telling Bucky about all the cute pots that he wants to put it in and Bucky was not supposed to go to the nursery and go get it.
But he did. Because Sam wouldn’t shut up and Bucky wasn’t gonna be a basic bitchy boyfriend and get him flowers and a dinner. That is for losers. Which Bucky most certainly is not.
Sam is surprised that Bucky is listening.
And then they realize that it’s not exactly that they’re mad that they’re dating. In fact, Sam kind of likes having a special someone to go to breakfast with, even if Bucky kind of hates the diner he keeps choosing.
(To be fair their muffins are dry but also to be fair Bucky will simply not order an omelette, which is their best option.)
Maybe Bucky likes remembering fun little facts about Sam, like how he hates red petunias because his old neighbor always had them everywhere, or how he secretly thought that Captain America was literally just a media project meant to consider how well propaganda worked on the American people.
(If Bucky hadn’t remembered that Steve was literally just That Stupid, he probably would’ve agreed with that theory.)
So now they have Stupid Feelings. This Sucks.
Also? Sharon is laughing at Sam, because she’s a terrible gay best friend.
“You’re gay too, so that makes us just friends. Cancels all that shit out. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re stupid and didn’t recognize that you liked him. It literally took Steve assuming you were a couple to get this whole thing rolling.”
“Wait, so you knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Sam I’m sorry you have to hear it from me, but I had a hell of a lot more faith in you than I should have. Is that a sin? That should be a sin.”
“I will literally write you out of my will just watch me.”
“Who else is going to take your ugly paintings, Sam? Who? Steve? He went to art school for a year. He knows quality.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, just like you hate Bucky,” Sharon says, laughing. “Have fun with that, by the way. Hope you confess your feelings soon!”
-
Sam is not having fun with this. No, not at all.
It’s mostly because Bucky is still stealing his oatmeal and they’re in Public and he can’t confess his feelings. It’s just not convenient. Also Bucky is having a lot of conversation with a certain guy that Tony knows in one way or another, and they’ve hit it off.
Steve is looking at Bucky.
“Huh, he seems to like that guy a lot, they’ve been talking for a while. You know him, Sam?”
“No,” Sam says. “But I’m sure everything is fine.”
(Well everything is probably fine on Bucky’s end. Sam is trying Very Hard to not be jealous at all. People talk all the time. He’s talking to Steve right now. It doesn’t mean he’s going to do anything to Steve.)
(It’s not working, if you wanted clarification. The whole “I’m not actually jealous” thought.)
-
He hits Bucky with another pillow.
“What the hell?” Bucky mutters, flicking on the light.
“Come to bed, asshole.”
“I hate you,” Bucky grumbles, shrugging off his tuxedo jacket. “Let me get into my pajamas first before you start a pillow war.”
“Surprised you came home at all. Thought you and that guy were getting awfully cozy.”
“Ain’t my type,” Bucky answers, “and his wife wasn’t my type either.”
“Then who is?”
Bucky looks at him.
“You seriously wanna know?”
“If you’ll answer, yeah.”
“Sam, my type is someone who is an absolute asshole who I hate a lot.”
Sam blinks.
“You wanna know what my type is, Barnes?”
“Who?”
“Someone who keeps stealing my fucking oatmeal.”
Bucky stops and pauses. Then starts shaking with laughter.
“We really are the worst, aren’t we?”
“In a sense, yeah. We have an early breakfast tomorrow with Maria and Pepper, by the way. So come to bed.”
“Yes, dear.”
Doesn’t matter if it’s said sarcastically. Sam still likes it.
-
There’s a part to this story you should know:
Steve’s absolutely not stupid about this certain situation. He knew Bucky was a little shit who kept stealing oatmeal. He also knew that Sam liked him, even if he didn’t recognize it himself.
By him insinuating that he thought they were dating, he knew they would never crush his dreams. He’s secretly a manipulative genius like that.
(It also helps that Maria owes him about a thousand dollars or five favors, give or take a couple.)
#surprise surprise sam and bucky are too busy acting like assholes to realize they like each other#steve rogers#sam wilson#bucky barnes#sharon carter#maria hill#lovelyirony writes#anyways sam is cool
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A Vikingr Saga for the Ages
Ever since the first game in the franchise, I was enraptured by the idea of stalking my prey on the rooftops of Renaissance Italy and then leaping down - slaying them with a flourish. I didn’t know it yet but the marriage between history and stealthy parkour had me hooked from the very first trailer for Assassin’s Creed. When the series pivoted towards mythology and set further in history than ever before, I eagerly followed. From Ptolemaic Egypt to Ancient Greece. It should come as no surprise that I devoured, then, that I devoured as much of the world that I could in the latest entry: Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla. And after clocking in just under 150 hours, there is much for me to unpack in Ubisoft’s latest entry into the Assassin’s Creed franchise. That, and a fierce desire to finally start watching Vikings.
When I initially booted up Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla (AC:V), I will admit that I was a little disappointed with the control scheme. Once again, Ubisoft had made it a confusing mess with trigger buttons instead of face buttons used to attack. Since I had just come from Spider-Man: Miles Morales, it took a good long while for me to adjust. Several hours later, after fumbling through my first battle with a lost drengr (I actually dumbed down the difficulty a litte), I finally managed to find my footing and was on my way to England to scrape out a place for the Raven Clan.
As for stealth...well, the less said about it the better. I never found it effective. It was much easier to smash my way through, axe in hand (or greatsword) and lay waste to their paltry resistance with a mixture of heavy attacks and parrying. I also, hardly used the bow (one of my favourite weapons to being stealthy in Origins and Odyssey).
The story in AC: V is a little messy. Most of it is done through a separate arcs for each territory Eivor ventures through: from East Anglia to Snotinghamscire, with little to link it all together except the main character. Were it not for the very loose story threat surrounding Sigurd and the conquering of Mercia to establish a firm foothold in this new land of England, many of the storylines could be regarded as standalone adventures in Eivor’s epic saga of conquest.
That doesn’t, of course, mean it’s bad. Merely disjointed. Particularly when I went from Jorvik and its Yule Tide celebrations to Glowecestrescire that was right in the midst of Samhain right after each other. Did I go back in time? Or did almost an entire year fly past Eivor with none the wiser?
Still, even though they were mostly standalone storylines, I still very much liked all the characters I met along the way. My favourites were the earnest Hunwald, noble Ceolbert (his death was almost as bad as all the horse deaths I’ve encountered in video games) and fun-loving Twydwr (particularly when he and Eivor were drunk, and messing with the local chickens) On the Norse side, I very much enjoyed the banter between Eivor and her childhood friend Vili. But the one that I admisted most was Soma. She was the jarlskona of Grantebridgescire - the first place I explored after landing in England. And one, I hoped I could romance to some degree. Alas, my hopes were dashed on that end.
What I did find a little intriguing were how Sigurd and Eivor were sages for the Isus: Odin and Tyr. And in their little Raven Clan, revealed much later, was also Freyr. It seemed strange that so many of the reincarnated Isu were all incredibly close at hand.
In this title, Ubisoft was able to focus again a little more on their complex lore that was seeded throughout the first few games. And while some questions were answered, it still left plenty of mysteries of where the games go from here - particularly from a modern-day standpoint. Though I am reluctant to see the franchise go, it does feel like Ubisoft is finally coming to a close on the grand story that they are trying to tell. What the end result turns out to be is still to be determined, but more emphasis needs to be focused on the central conflict.
For a game that still has Assassin’s Creed in the title, Eivor’s connection with the order and their enemies seemed very tangential. While I killed many Order of the Ancient members, there was no sense of personal investiture, like, say with Ezio’s quest. The only ones that I felt motivated to put an end to were Fulke and Kjotve the Cruel. Unfortunately, all the build-up in the first scenes with Eivor were quickly resolves within the first two to three hours of the game, and Fulke’s arc was all but over in the half-way point.
I suppose the main reason for my discontent with the narrative of AC: V is the fact that there is no Big Bad for Eivor and her Raven Clan. Yes, Aelfred of Wessex is a ‘villain’ that hinders our protagonist, but he never felt like an oppressive threat.
Basim’s reveal, somewhat late in the game, was also a little underwhelming. Yes, he did look an awful lot like Loki, but how did he manage to get to Norway? He hadn’t accompanied Sigurd and Eivor. Did he travel with a third party? How did he know that Sigurd and Eivor would be in the ruins of an Isu temple? So many questions, so little time.
Then there was the whole ‘Heir of Memories’ and the fact that Layla seemed so worn. After finishing Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, my last impression of her was receiving the Staff of Hermes Trismegistus from Kassandra and being hopeful for the future. Fast forward to AC: V and Layla is tired. The world is on the edge of destruction once again and she’s now paired up with married couple: Rebecca Crane and Shaun Hastings (the two last appearing undercover in Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag).
On a side note, why are their adventures all done in the comics or some other media? AND WHY DO I NOT HAVE ACCESS TO ANY OF THIS?
And because I didn’t play the expansions for Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, I knew too little regarding the modern-day struggles with Layla. In fact, I basically resorted to the Assassin’s Creed wiki to bring me up to date. Honestly, DLC should never be story-related. Or, if it is, should be more tangential rather than major. It’s a terrible practice that quite a few publishers do, and which leaves players such as myself playing catch-up.
The only one that landed with any oomph (at least for me) were the Asgard and Jotunheim arcs. These were connected and told the story of Havi as he struggled to find a way to avert his fate. The final battle also proved challenging and climactic. A far cry from the ‘endings’ that the main story provided. In all honesty, I probably should have left that to last while completing everything else first. But the temptation was too great and I was vastly overlevelled.
I also enjoyed the play on the Norse myths. The only downside with the Builder was that there was no horse to help him. And so, there was no sexy mare Loki to tempt away the Builder’s horse - giving birth to Sleipnir. The other stuff, though, was clever. And I liked the references made to other myths, such as fighting against ‘old age’ and Thrym’s disastrous marriage to ‘Thor dressed as Freyr.’
What was also a little odd, at least for me, was that there was no definitive part where the credits rolled. Much like in Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey and Assassin’s Creedy: Origins. Personally, I hate it. Credits give closure and tell gamers that the narrative that they were pursuing has come to an end. It lets me reflect on everything that I experienced and is an indication that I can finally set the controller down.
Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla also came with its fair share of bugs and glitches. Many, after reading up on them, made me frightened to continue. One, in particular, took me a while to figure out an alternative to: entering Lunden. I didn’t help that the more I read, the more I worried about encountering a game-breaking bug. Thankfully, most were simply treasure hoards not loading, late texture pop-ins that were a little frightening, and the drunk Eivor every time I loaded up the game.
Despite its many faults, I still very much enjoyed my time roaming around England, Vinland and Norway as I worked to build up Eivor’s reputation and to ensure her name would be sung for ages to come. Like a true Vikingr, I played copious amounts of orlog, drank mead and tore up the battlefield to create a home for my people.
Even better, at Gunnar’s wedding, I managed to finally woo Randvi (who I abstained from bedding down with earlier on in the game)! That, perhaps, elevated the game for me and I can be happy knowing that all my hard work paid off.
(As an additional aside, I also love how many of the side quests or ‘mysteries’ in AC: Valhalla made references to popular culture. From Winnie the Pooh to Alice in Wonderland. AND ROBIN HOOD! THE NPC CALLED LITTLE JOHN HAD ME GUFFAWING!)
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How are you liking AC Valhalla so far? Any characters you love? Any characters you hate? Is there anyone as sexy as Brasidas?
hiiii thank you for asking!! i’m going to keep this as spoiler-free as possible.
i’m really liking it so far! i have my gripes about gameplay mechanics and the buggy launch, but at this point i have either grown used to them or am happily experiencing stockholm syndrome and am just enjoying the game for what it is (and hoping the stuff that needs patching gets patched soon).
here are some things i love:
the voice acting is so good. SO GOOD!!!
eivor! she stands out among the protags of other ac games i’ve played because she always has this community about her. she’s a loved and respected leader to her people, they’re always happy to see her return to the settlement, she’s got her crew to back her up at a moment’s notice, there’s always portions of the main quests where she has companions fighting beside her.
basically all the other characters in ravensthorpe! they’re a fun bunch and a loving community and they have their quirks and i love hanging out with all of them. petra in particular is an absolute sweetheart and not a day goes by where i don’t feel awful for breaking up with her bc my goblin brain decided “lol i want to fuck my stepbrother’s wife who looks like kassandra in sweatpants”
HYTHAM IS A SWEETHEART. we love an assassin who is also, to use 2012 lingo, a pure and sweet cinnamon roll, too perfect for this world.
petting dogs and cats!
how dynamic the settlement is. every time i go back there’s something new and interesting happening, whether it’s a new sidequest an npc wants me to help out with, or a dispute between neighbors, or new dialogue with npcs i repeatedly interact with. i love having a home base that i can upgrade and that i want to spend time in.
the minigames! orlog is fun and frustrating but mostly fun, and the drinking contest is AWESOME.
quick-time assassinations for higher-level enemies! it’s a good balance between the old games where you could just indiscriminately kill fucking anybody in one overpowered hit, and odyssey where you had to either stack your assassination damage to get that sweet OHKO, or straight up fight the polemarchs.
the relationship between eivor and sigurd. i’m only about 40-50% of the way through the game so i’ve only seen a bit of it, but as someone who generally gravitates towards sibling narratives (i.e. odyssey, fullmetal alchemist, and way too many of my prime years wasted on supernatural) i really love their dynamic. i think it was an excellent idea to have that become one of eivor’s central narratives from the very beginning of the game. also, i get to fuck his wife.
(forces through gritted teeth) the... modern... day. i HATED layla in odyssey, to the point where i don’t even remember what happened in the modern story at all because every playthrough except for my very first one i simply mashed the skip button until i got back in the goddamn animus.. and i do not remember a single thing she did in origins. and maybe it says more about me than anything else that i wasn’t able to care about her until ubisoft (finally!!!!) brought back shaun and rebecca to make me care, but... this is the closest the modern day has felt to the desmond games, and there’s post-odyssey continuity with layla’s struggle as the keeper of the staff or whatever, and i really like it!
when you hover over different things in the map, the sound effects change. you get chanting music when you hover over monasteries, and ocean noises when you hover over the ocean! IT’S SUPER NEAT.
taking damage when you swim in the cold cold waters of norway made me chuckle. i can see how it might get annoying, but it doesn’t really bother me that much and it’s not that much damage.
THE SOUNDTRACK GIVES ME CHILLS IT IS SO GODDAMN GOOD
things i’m ambivalent about:
fall damage? i’m peeved that it’s back, but it makes sense. i do love that the breakfall skill makes it so that the most damage i’ve ever gotten from taking a long fall is like... 5 hp lmao
kill animations. they’re really cool and i love seeing what new fun way eivor has to brutally murder her enemies. on the other hand, the shift in camera angle can be annoying in the middle of a massive battle, and if there’s an object in the way of the very specific camera angle then sometimes i can’t see the animation at all and have to just stare at some wood/stone texture for like 10 seconds.
environment puzzles. sometimes they’re fun but sometimes i’m too damn tired to try and figure out the 3895th way to break into a locked building.
side quests world events. they’re fun but also seem largely... pointless? i wish we had one or two longer sidequests; some of my favorite moments in odyssey were on long sidequests like mykonos or the battle of 100 hands. i feel like this was a reactionary mechanic to people complaining that odyssey had “too many” sidequests or something idk.
tattoo parkour. i would like it more if eivor didn’t feel so “sticky” if that makes sense. i like the return of parkour puzzles, and i like collecting tattoos (the tattoo shop is always the first place i visit when i return to ravensthorpe), but the parkour in the game often feels quite clunky.
social stealth. another excellent idea that they brought back, but executed clumsily. i just don’t understand how it works, or, more importantly, why it’s even necessary in the first place. but it’s also easy to ignore, so whatever.
animus glitch platform puzzles. they’re super cool but for some reason give me massive anxiety.
things i don’t love:
some combat mechanics, like having a stamina bar and losing adrenaline when you get hit. i’m not here for any of that *~*~sO gRiTtY aNd rEaLiStIc~*~* bullshit. i just want to have fun and hack shit up.
that motherfucking god damn terrible fucking skill tree/map/web. who the FUCK thought it was a good idea??? the incremental changes between the big nodes feel kind of meaningless, and it’s very difficult to see the (completely arbitrary) progression towards the big nodes because they’re pathed out on SKINNY WHITE FUCKING LINES
synin got nerfed real bad :(
dag is a massive chode. and not even in a fun way, like stentor was in odyssey.
don’t really care for ivarr either if i’m being honest.
i do not give a single shit about fantasy asgard, and i’m kind of peeved that i apparently have to finish that arc in order to finish the game. (i didn’t like the atlantis dlc in odyssey either—a couple hades sidequests notwithstanding—so go figure.)
congratulations on reading this far if you actually bothered to do that! i don’t think any game will top odyssey for me in terms of setting/storyline/general vibes. but valhalla is a great, solid game in its own right.
no npc will EVER be as sexy as brasidas, but eivor is definitely sexier. she and kassandra and aya hold the 3-way title of Sexiest Assassin’s Creed Characters But Not In Like A Creepy Incel Gamer Way.
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Two-Faced Jewel: Session 7
A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at.
[Campaign log]
Last time, Saelhen and Looseleaf continued their scouring of the evil torture wizard's evil torture tower for clues as to the identity of the murderer terrorizing the towns of Barley and Wheat. They found a bunch of mysterious documents of ominous character, but they've yet to check out the tower's hidden basement- and the ne'er-do-well lurking within...
The basement doesn't immediately contain any horrors, unless you're the type to get the jibblies from a messy room. There's dirty dishes (recently used), empty beer bottles from a Zeishus Brewery, and discarded clothes everywhere. It's very lived-in, and whoever lives-in here doesn't seem like they were expecting visitors.
Saelhen takes a look at the desk nearest the stairs, next to a well-used recliner and a recently-extinguished candle. She gets a nat 20 on her Investigation, and finds that the desk has been rotated to face the wall, concealing a drawer that doesn't look like it's been opened in some time, judging by the cobwebs.
What's inside is mainly more of the sort of thing they found on the sixth floor- technical notes on neurology and pain magic. With the critical success, she's able to piece together that the odd numbers on the abrasive letter found upstairs were some sort of pain measurements the letter-writer was providing to Lumiere.
They also find a less academic, more personal note, expressing frustration with his own research.
"Why would the Burnscreamer's rituals require Abyssal? Even a god like him shouldn't have any connection to the demons- what is he playing at?"
"If I could just correct the sigil, I could bypass so much of this nonsense..."
Saelhen then gets a nat 1 on her Religion roll to know what that means, and assumes the Burnscreamer is the frontman for a metal band her dad likes.
As they search the rest of the room, they notice- at the bottom of the central shaft- a circular basin in the stone floor. It's stained red, but it's dry- not as much blood as you'd expect to see given the carnage on the sixth floor, so it seems like it's been recently emptied or cleaned out.
Oyobi, meanwhile, checks the locked door by the stairs, and finds it... cold? I wonder what that means vis-a-vis-
The extremely sneaky +9 Stealth person hiding braced against the walls of the central shaft fucks up right about then, and slips a little, letting out an involuntary "Gh- shit!", alerting the party to his presence.
Saelhen tries to chase after this person by parkouring off those same walls, gets a 9, and faceplants in the blood basin, leaving the issue to the party member who has wings. As the hider flees through one of the doors in the shaft, Looseleaf uses her darkvision and 24 Investigation roll to pick out the right door and give chase.
(Meanwhile, the rest of the party heads up the stairs normally- and Saelhen orders Orluthe to bust down the front door, so they can go outside and catch anyone trying to escape by rappelling down the side of the building. This turns out to be unnecessary, because when Looseleaf detected that the front door was magic and assumed it was a trap, this was incorrect.)
Benedict I. (GM): ("who knows what kind of trap could be on this magic door? better go up and through the window into the room full of traps, instead")
(i was laughing so hard)
(it's just an automatic door!)
Looseleaf: Honestly, the people in town oversold this place.
They made it sound like such a deathtrap and really it was just a bunch of spiky bots.
And knives.
And comfy pillows.
Benedict I. (GM): Well, when they were there, there was a living evil torture wizard actively trying to take them prisoner and torture them.
Looseleaf botches her Investigation roll to search the torture lab she emerges in, but... that doesn't stop her from just checking each and every possible hiding place one by one, manually. She alights upon the correct solution swiftly- checking inside the broken remains of the iron maiden.
bBenedict I. (GM): Anyway, Looseleaf, inside the corpse of the iron maiden, you find.
A rather heavy man, performing a downright heroic feat of contortionism to suspend himself inside the door without getting impaled on the spikes.
Arnie: "Uh."
"Can you pretend you never saw me?"
Looseleaf: "That depends on what you're doing here, I guess. Who are you and what are you doing here?"
Saelhen du Fishercrown: oh that is a nervous man
Arnie: "No one. Nothing. I'm, uh, supposed to be like, dead, probably."
"So I'm not here."
"Yeah?"
Arnie Zeishus is the deadbeat husband of Cassie, the innkeeper from Barley, who fled town a while back. He explains that after fleeing his responsibilities in Barley, he tried to set up shop in Wheat running a brewery, but got in trouble flouting the brewing regulations of the Ecumene of Harmony. So after getting arrested there and breaking out of prison, he decided to sneak into the torture wizard's tower and lay low as a squatter in the guy's basement. He figured he might get caught and tortured, but it couldn't be worse than what the townspeople wanted to do to him.
Except, as luck would have it, the torture wizard was already dead when he arrived! So he's been making a home of the place with Lumiere's old animated housekeepers, using the torture wizard's fearsome reputation as a way to keep anyone from tracking him down and making him do stuff like clean up a distillery explosion or pay child support or what have you.
On the other hand, someone has been sneaking around his tower doing something sinister on the sixth floor that results in blood pouring down into the basin periodically, and he's stressed out of his mind wondering who the hell is doing that and how he's supposed to avoid getting caught and/or killed by them.
(He notes that the "KEEP SHOUTING" sign was his attempt to get intruders to at least give themselves away by making noise, after they were clearly ignoring the "KEEP OUT" sign he put up.)
Looseleaf also takes the time to ask if Arnie here knows anything about someone named Choss.
Arnie: He looks surprised. "You know Choss?"
Looseleaf: "Let's say that Choss is a figure of importance in this investigation."
"Anything you could tell us about how they arrived in town and what they did in town would be appreciated."
Arnie: He shrugs. "Choss was there before I was- she's a real weirdo."
"Knows how to party, but- gotta say, her stuff's a little too strong for me."
"A crazy high at first, but it gets- whoof, intense."
Looseleaf: "She's an apothecary of some kind?"
Arnie: He laughs. "You could say that. She's got herself a little drug lab in town, always smells like burning. Don't know how she gets away with it- some of that stuff's gotta be illegal."
Saelhen du Fishercrown: "And how old is she, approximately?"
Arnie: "Eh? She's- hard to tell with lizardfolk, s'not like you can read the wrinkles..."
Looseleaf: Ah, of course.
Lizardfolk.
Saelhen du Fishercrown: yep
Arnie: "Seems youngish, though? Party girl through and through."
"Just, uh, if she offers you a blend, don't take it unless you're ready to spend the next hour feelin' like fire ants are chewin' their way out of your skin."
He shudders a little.
Looseleaf: "Hm. Sounds painful."
Arnie: "You have no idea," he laughs.
They also inquire about the locked freezer room- and why Arnie would hide out here, in dangerous torture tower, rather than just running off to a city, which is a little weird that he didn't do. Arnie claims there's just groceries in there, and no stolen wine bottles whatsoever, he certainly isn't a thief and he definitely hasn't been lying low out here because if he goes to a city some old pals from Thunderbrush might find him and want him dead, no sir! He would never ever commit a crime, ["wink wink" in hand-signed Thieves' Cant].
Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Of course. I can't imagine we have any thieves here." [Nudge nudge.]
Looseleaf: "In the meantime, Mr. Zeishus, you mentioned having done something that.. makes going anywhere where you might meet someone from Thunderbrush a dangerous thing?"
Arnie: He fidgets. "Uh, well..."
"I, I try to leave all that behind me."
"You just... don't want to get involved with the ghost dryad mafia. Just a tip."
He drops a little bit of exposition about something that may be coming up- apparently, Thunderbrush used to have these huge skyscraper-sized trees, but they got chopped down in some sort of war or raid a while back, and now the Stumps are ruled by the necromancer ghost dryads of those trees who used the last vestiges of their power to cheat death. Apparently Arnie was strongarmed into doing crimes for various ghost dryad mafiosos and made too many enemies, so he fled to Barley to shake the heat.
Looseleaf also comes to a realization regarding some hints dropped earlier in the townsfolks' tragic backstories:
Looseleaf: (actually, wait, i just realized: choss is probably chitch's daughter, the timelines there line up perfectly and maybe this whole dragonborn business is a total red herring we invented for ourselves)
(what the shit, lumiere, you kidnap a guy's daughter and raise them as your own child? that's fucked.)
Looseleaf occupies this Arnie guy by interrogating him about these things, while Saelhen slips downstairs to try to pick the lock to the freezer room.
Eventually, after a bunch of failed rolls and more small talk from Looseleaf to keep Arnie occupied, Saelhen pops open the lock. Inside, she finds a fairly large and frigid room. There are meathooks hanging from the ceiling, empty. There are shelves lining the edges full of frozen food.
And to her right, there's another door- this one out of place with the rest of the construction, made of a strange stone shot through with rivulets of glowing orange. There's a symbol on a stone circle embedded in the door:
Before she checks that out, though, she checks the darkened back of the room- which contains some tubs filled with ice.
And those tubs have corpses in them, with the four-pointed wounds.
It is not especially likely that Arnie had no idea these were here, in a room he claims to use to store groceries and has the key to.
Looseleaf, meanwhile, attempts to read Arnie's spirit to determine his alignment and general intentions. His Deception beats her Insight, but what she does manage to get is...
Arnie is afraid.
He is filled to bursting with terror and desperation more intense than you've ever felt from anyone before.
And the fear does not seem directed at you.
Meanwhile, Saelhen tries to get that door open. What's the deal with that thing, huh? There's no handle, so... she has the bright idea of slapping her mysterious god icon bracer (the one that when previously slapped against a magic thing opened a pit to infinite bats) against it, see what happens. And I get very excited, because ohohoho, I didn't expect that, I had to think through the ramifications of doing that, and...
...then I work through those ramifications, and what I realize is that, as far as the players would know, the end result is just that the door slides open, and nothing else of note occurs.
Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Why am I even here I just wanted to help a nice little girl show up her dipshit inquisitor mom now I'm in a pain room investigating pain machines..."
Looseleaf: (looseleaf warned you about getting involved in the case, she warned you dog)
There's also a bunch of weird machines, and more of Lumiere's notes, which Saelhen goes and nabs as many of as she can. Then she beats feet immediately, not wanting to spend any longer than necessary in the hell lab. The problem is, she doesn't want to leave any sign she was in there, so...
Saelhen du Fishercrown: Does tapping the exposed bit of stone with the bracer again close the secret hell door?
Benedict I. (GM): Nope.
Saelhen du Fishercrown: hmm.
poking it with her finger?
Benedict I. (GM): Ouch.
Nope.
Saelhen du Fishercrown: physically pulling the stone upwards while muttering "fuck fuck fuck ow ow ow"?
Benedict I. (GM): Oh, hm, yeah, that would work.
At first there's no effect, but as you continue to pull and the pain gets worse and worse...
Roll me a Constitution save.
Saelhen du Fishercrown:
16
CONSTITUTION SAVE (3)
Benedict I. (GM): That'll do it! Your pain feeds the door, and, satisfied, the mouth closes.
Looseleaf: How extremely concerning!
Cool!
So Saelhen goes back upstairs, the party secretly confers and exchanges information, and... something has to be done about Arnie.
His expression changes, suddenly.
Arnie: "You don't know what you're talking about."
"This doesn't have to happen."
Looseleaf continues to try to offer help to this guy, inferring that he's being forced to do someone else's dirty work. She rolls a 20 on Persuasion! So... what happens following them cornering and exposing the culprit is not the rolling of initiative. Still, though...
Arnie: Arnie...
backs up a step.
"You're morons."
"You have no idea."
"You're talking like you can help me?"
"That's impossible. No one can help me."
"I- I'm fucking cursed, dammit!"
Looseleaf: is he?
i have magic sense, he is clearly not actually magically cursed, right
Arnie: "What are you clowns going to do about it? Nothing!"
"What are you going to do, kill a dragon?"
Saelhen du Fishercrown: "You are entangled here. If Looseleaf says so, then I trust her intuition and her investigative prowess. This doesn't necessarily mean you're entangled in such a way that there is no way out for you." Saelhen shrugs. "Theoretically, the device on my arm is responsible for drowning a small city in vampiric monsters from beyond the stars. And yet there was a way out of that, and a genuine silver lining into the bargain."
"I want you to understand that I am absolutely sincere when I say:
There is always a way out."
Arnie: "That's- there's no way! There's only one way out!"
"He'll free me from the curse if I do what he says, and that's the only way!"
Looseleaf: ...That is not how dragon-curses work at all.
Benedict I. (GM): Not as far as you're aware, no.
Doesn't seem like anyone's told Arnie.
They continue to try to convince him that there's hope, that he doesn't need to do what the dragon says, that they can help him. And Arnie just keeps pushing back, refusing to acknowledge any of it, weeping and shouting and doing whatever he can to avoid believing that he didn't have to do any of that, that there was any other way- because if there was, he'd be a monster, right?
Meanwhile, Vayen... is standing a ways away and staring at them all, as usual... but this time, he's smiling. No one here has ever seen Vayen smile before. He looks like his birthday came early. And as they're on the verge of a breakthrough...
Arnie: "Fucking- you don't think I know that?"
"I know that! I know he's manipulating me!"
"But what else do I do?"
Vayen: "You could kill yourself," Vayen suggests.
Looseleaf: "Vayen what the FUCK?"
Arnie: "What the fuck- shut up, asshole!"
"I'm not dying! Not here, not nowhere!"
Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...Vayen, you are placing a remarkable number of ticks in the 'leave you at the side of the road' column."
Vayen: Vayen shrugs. "It's the most reliable way to neutralize a dragon's curse."
"It's the sensible thing to do, if you don't want to cause collateral damage."
It's as though he deliberately picked the one thing to say to ensure that this argument would keep happening, and not reach a friendly resolution. The hell is his problem?
Still, the party keeps trying to talk this guy down.
Saelhen du Fishercrown: "And -- Arnie, surely you don't think the dragon would hunt you down? Dragons don't go out of their way to punish us; they just use us to accomplish whatever it is they're planning. He'll make it someone else's problem."
"I know the type. Arnie, it wouldn't care enough to hunt you down. What seems like a personal connection, like it caring about you -- if it tries that at all -- it's just an implement. It's a way of getting you to do what it wants. Go to ground effectively, and it won't bother to spare the effort."
Arnie: "What are you, talking like some kinda dragonologist? The hell do you know about dragons?"
Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I am not a dragonologist, no," admits Saelhen.
Looseleaf: "...Are you a dragonologist?"
Arnie: "Of course it could hunt me down! Damn thing's got magic items out the ass and it flies faster than I can run!"
"As soon as it saw me going somewhere it didn't tell me to, I'd get turned into a midnight snack!"
"And then I go to ground, and the curse kicks in, and I end up dead or worse anyway. Sounds great."
"Or, I stay here, gut a few self-righteous fucks who treated me like dirt for a while, and maybe the thing keeps its end of the bargain and lets me go!"
Yeah, that's a confession, and like, not one that makes him look great. Still, given this guy's weirdly high rolls on physical stuff, and his apparent aptitude for murdering people, they're not super sure they want to fight this guy- on top of just, not exactly wanting to fight this guy.
What are they going to do? They have to come up with a plan- and their plan has to take less than three weeks to pull off, since Arnie only has six corpses left in the bathtubs, and the dragon wants two corpses a week to prove he's still doing the job.
(And is it even worth going to all that trouble just to protect this guy from the consequences of his actions?)
Next time: a plan is hatched, and the party gets back on the road.
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A map of Katsuki’s village from my and @tsukithewolf‘s fanfiction ‘Of Gods And Dreams’. I left out the marking of one detail because of spoilers. Apologies for the poor quality, but A3 paper is sadly too big to scan :,3 Legend and finished map (with the small spoiler-detail) under the cut.
The different ‘sectors’
The whole village is surrounded by a tall, wooden protective wall made of trunks of entire trees. (Think a bit like the walls around the roman encampments or the Gallic village in Astérix and Obélix.) This is meant to be mostly a protection from the creatures living in the wild so they don’t attack the settlement. There are plank-passages on the inner side of the wall where Yuueians can walk, though there aren’t always guards patrolling there except at the main gate, since it’s not like anything or anyone has really any reason to attack the village.
1) The main bonfire – located in the center of the village, this is the place where everyone gathers for special occasions, like the yearly Magic Manifestation Ceremony or the Coming of Age. The bonfire itself is rather massive, the fire (when lit) able to reach higher than the huts are tall. When not lit, children sometimes try to climb it as part of a game or training (sometimes both), despite the adults repeatedly telling them off for it. Katsuki himself was notorious for climbing it all the time and was one of the few children stubborn enough to actually reach its top. As it is seldom lit, it is common for the wood used to make it up to last for an entire season cycle before a new bonfire needs to be built, which is usually done in late autumn or early winter.
2) Main living space - The part of the village where the Yuueians built their huts to live in. Clustered relatively close together, the huts aren’t separated from each other by any fences or anything. As this is the main part where people live and walk, the dirt has been walked barren, though there’s no actual delimited roads to speak of. This part of the village stretches from the North-West to the North-North-East, so that the huts are under the protection of the Twin Moons, which hang highest in the sky and shine the most brightly when they reach the Northern-most point of their nightly journey across the night sky. The Bakugou home is in the North-West area of this part of the village (B – though it marks the general area where it is, not the hut itself.)
3) Even further North are the huts of the Elders, the Village Leader and the Head Healer. These are slightly larger and, although not delimited any more than the regular huts, tend to have small gardens. There’s a lot more space between them as well. The Village Leader’s hut (L) is the one closest to the main living area (2.) and is one of the huts with the closest well. The Head Healer’s hut is in the Nothern-most part of this ‘sector’ (H) and doubles as the village’s main clinic.
4) Directly connected to the Head Healer’s hut and only accessible by passing through it (unless one jumps the fence), this is the Healers’ Garden, where medicinal herbs that are difficult to procure in the wild (either because they are rare or because they only grow at specific times of the season cycle) are grown. While the Head Healer has the main authority and responsibility over the garden, every Healer of the village helps tend to it as part of both their training and their duties.
5) Relatively close to the main gate, this is where the trading wagon is usually stored and/or prepared before a trading trip to Moardret. When it’s not the case, this is the area where some people can set up an equivalent to a small market, although the Yuueians rarely actually trade like this among themselves. It is far more common to just visit someone in their hut and exchange goods there.
6) The main gate, located in the East. There’s a rather vast open area right past it, with a meeting square and grassy fields. A lone road leads to the main bonfire, while another smaller one leads to the trading wagon. This is where the Yuueians converge when a Magicless is exiled.
7) Bathing area - An area where a Nature has been left free reign, allowing for a small, but compact forest to be part of the village. The trees are used as cover, for in the center of the shrubbery are two bodies of water: a lake and a large hot spring. This is where the Yuueians bathe. As they don’t bother separating the lake into two (because it would demand even more wood and they don’t want to harm Mother Nature more than strictly necessary for their survival), they separate genders for bathing by time. Children up to age ten bathe first, boys and girls together, then the men of all remaining ages and the women are last. This is so the women can take care of the children right after they bathe – particularly in case of the older ones where patching up some scrapes and bruises after training might be necessary – before bathing themselves.
8) The training ground, separated from the rest of the village by a wooden wall to avoid potentially catching someone in the cross-fire of an accident, particularly if it’s a magic one. There aren’t any physical delimitations of the different training grounds inside, but everyone is supposed to adhere to them anyway. Basic physical training and Magic training for young children who have not yet passed a Trial is the closes to the gate (marked with trees for the physical and small stars for Magic). The Hunters’ training ground (marked by a footprint and a trap) is the most stretched out because it’s made up of various parkour trails meant to challenge their stealth and agility, and also their ability to use and make various traps. One end of this training ground is thus closest to the corner where (training) weapons and traps are made and stored (marked with hammer, dagger, bow and arrow). The Warrior training ground (marked two crossed swords) is smack in the middle of all of them, being large and circular to allow for the most space to train combat.
9) The farming fields where crops etc. are grown. As with hunting for food, every Yuueian is expected to help out with caring for the fields if necessary, although there are those who are more farmers than others due to personal preferences and/or abilities. The entire community divides the work that needs to be done equally so that everyone pitches in everywhere as needed. (For instance, being a child of two Hunters and a Warrior himself, Katsuki has an affinity for hunting and extremely good skills with working the skins and meat of the provided game, so he mostly does that. However, if there are lacking hands in the fields, he’ll go help with farming as well.)
10) The storage part of the village, situated on the far West, on the opposite side to the main gate. This is mostly due to historical reasons, in order to protect their food reserves and other resources in case of someone attacking the village and breaching the main gate, although it has been centuries since a battle/war like that actually happened, as Lycans don’t bother with the Yuueians as much and other potentially hostile tribes are on the other side of the Draconic Mountain Range.
There are also several wells scattered throughout the village to account for the various places where one can be needed. Notably, one is located exactly between the training grounds and the farming fields, in a built-in shack that’s part of the wall surrounding the training grounds.
Map containing a spoilery detail:
Spoiler-Legend:
S - The Sanctuary, a hut still within the boundaries of the village, but not built by the Yuueians. It has been erected by the Spring and Fall Spirits and, as the name implies, is a safe haven for those in need. Due to the spirits’ arcane magic, it is always perfectly habitable no matter what state it might seemingly be in on the outside. Similarly, as a safe place, it can only be found and entered by people in need of such a safe haven. When occupied, no one meaning the person looking for shelter within may see or come close to the Sanctuary and will automatically give the space around it a wide berth without ever truly realizing as much. This is the reason the space around the Sanctuary is empty and unused within the village, as most people avoid the space around it because they are not in need of it. (And potentially, because there’s someone seeking shelter inside from time to time, as the spirits have made a secret, underground entry to it once the village was errected.) This is the hut that becomes Katsuki’s home once he moves out of his parents’ house for good due to what happens between them.
#BnHA#Glon's writing#Glon's Art#collab with tsukithewolf#Of Gods and Dreams#Myordice#Yuuei Tribe#Yuuei village
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5e Zed the Master of Shadows build (League of Legends)
(Artwork by Riot Games)
Well; I did promise it. I’ll be honest the only reason for this build is that it’s the most obvious build to make with the new Echo Knight from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount, and it would be an injustice not to do so. I honestly don’t care much about Zed as I feel like his popularity has sort of died down as his meta relevance has waned. Regardless this build isn’t just a straightforward “lol Echo Knight 20″ so I hope those of you who want to play the edgy shadow ninja boy are pleased.
GOALS
Living Shadow - Of course the core of Zed’s kit is his shadow clones. Man I wonder how we’re going to recreate that?
Shadow Slash - Both Zed and his shadows need an arsenal of weapons that are always on-hand and are ready to both slash and throw.
Contempt for the Weak - Zed passive is what makes him an assassin, quickly killing anyone who’s already hurt.
RACE
Zed is a Human but due to my continued determination to avoid using the Variant Human race (and also because we really don’t need a Feat in this build except maybe Skulker) we’ll be grabbing Flash from Mark of Passage from Eberron. Your Dexterity increases by 2 and you can increase one stat of your choice by 1: choose Wisdom for some later Feat investment. You can also choose one language on top of Common: if Ionian is a language choose that, but Elvish is pretty close I suppose?
You get Courier's Speed for 5 feet of extra movement from your Zeal, and Intuitive Motion lets you add a d4 to any Acrobatics check you make or check involving land vehicles, because of all your training with the Kinkou apparently taught you how to drive a cart as well as do back-flips? But of course the main reason I said to take this race was for Magical Passage, giving you a one-time cast of Misty Step per Long Rest. Flash is a powerful summoner spell: use it to make some stylish plays.
ABILITY SCORES
15; DEXTERITY - Being a ninja is about swiftness and precision, and doing sick backflips and parkour. Wait this isn’t a Talon build?
14; WISDOM - To be a master you need to be wise; wise enough to know you enemy and how to exploit their weakness. It’s also a requirement to multiclass after all.
13; CONSTITUTION - Just because Zed isn’t a tank in-game doesn’t mean some extra tenacity (not the CC reduction type) isn’t appreciated. CON is also tied to some of our clone abilities.
12; INTELLIGENCE - The art of war is a game of intelligence. If fighting is sure to result in victory then you must fight!
10; CHARISMA - Zed runs around in Shredder cosplay and half his voice lines are literally just him grunting. He has his own order but he isn’t getting any free beers.
8; STRENGTH - Again you’re not a tank, and Strength simply isn’t needed for this build. The only thing we’d ever really use Strength for is Athletics, and we can get proficiency in the skill to remedy that.
BACKGROUND
Much like the Kayn build we’ll be going with the Faction Agent background, only this time you’re the faction head! Much like your protegee you get Insight proficiency as well as Intimidation since you’re a spooky shadow man. And of course your Shadow Order can provide you with a Safe Haven if needed, giving you a safe place to hide if your half-brother is looking for you. As for your two languages again it doesn’t matter, so pick something fun.
(Artwork by Riot Games)
THE BUILD
LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1
Starting off as a Rogue for the extra proficencies, also because no shit you’re a ninja. Regardless Rogues get proficiency in 4 skills from the Rogue list: choose Stealth, Perception, Acrobatics, and Athletics so you can keep to the shadows and strike at the perfect time. You also get Expertise in two skills that you know: I’d opt for Stealth as well as Intimidation from your background, so you can sneak up on someone and go “boo!” before cutting out their throat.
Of course the main appeal of Rogues is their Sneak Attack, letting them add a d6 of damage against any enemy who’s close to another ally, or you have advantage on by attacking them from the shadows.
Finally your Shadow Order is well-versed in Thieves’ Cant, a secret code that neither the Noxians nor the Kinkou understand.
LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2
Second level Rogues get Cunning Action, letting them Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. The key to playing Zed well is much like the key to playing Rogue well in 5e: keep mobile and be everywhere at once. Don’t give your enemy a moment to hit you.
LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3
You can choose your Roguish Archetype at level 3 and of course the Master of Shadows needs shadowy blades. Or should I say psychic blades? The Soul Knife subclass from the Psionics UA can create weapons as a Bonus Action with their Psychic Blade feature: these are finesse weapons that you can dual-wield, and throw 30 feet normally and up to 60 feet with disadvantage. These weapons deal a d6 of psychic damage and disappear after they hit the target you throw them at, when you dismiss them for free, or after you let go of them.
You can also choose through a variety of Psionic Enhancements. You can either give yourself 30 feet of telepathy, 5 feet of extra movement speed, or health equal to your Rogue level plus your Intelligence. You may notice that in total that would add up to a 4 currently, but that isn’t likely to go higher so I’d recommend either the telepathy or the movement speed. (5 feet of movement combined with the 5 feet from your race means you’re moving at Barbarian speed!)
WHY LOW INTELLIGENCE? - The Soul Knife, despite being a psionic class, doesn’t need Intelligence to function. A +5 in Intelligence would only mean a total of 8 extra health because we’re not going to be taking any more levels in Rogue. You need both Dexterity and Constitution more in this build, so it’s not worth investing in Intelligence just for one skill. But if you can get your Intelligence high go right ahead.
And finally your Sneak Attack increases to 2d6 now.
LEVEL 4 - FIGHTER 1
Now that you have your shuriken it’s time to get your clones. Level 1 Fighters get a Fighting Style and there’s a lot of options to choose from:
Two-Weapon Fighting is the obvious pick, letting you squeeze a bit of extra damage into your second weapon attack if you decide to opt for two-weapon fighting with your Bonus Action.
Thrown Weapon Fighting from the Class Feature Variants UA will vary in utility depending on your DM’s interpretation of “drawing a weapon.” If they let you summon your knives for free with this fighting style (as long as you throw them instantly) take this fighting style. If not Archery could also perhaps increase your ranged accuracy if your DM is cool with the rules.
When all else fails Defense provides a flat +1 to AC.
Why not Dueling? - Dueling is good in it’s own right to increase damage output but it technically only works if you have one Psiblade out. This means that you’ll be gimping yourself by only summoning one knife at a time, which means you can’t have two ranged shots before needing to “reload.” If you have a cool DM Dueling can still work for more damage.
You also get Second Wind, so you can pop a Refillable Potion to heal for 1d10 plus your fighter level once per short rest as a Bonus Action. Even at this late level that can equal up to a third of your health bar!
LEVEL 5 - FIGHTER 2
Second level Fighters get Action Surge, allowing them to take an additional action once per Short Rest. Man I love Fighters; so simple to explain.
LEVEL 6 - FIGHTER 3
HA HA FUCK ME AM I RIGHT?! Echo Knight from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount suddenly becomes a hundred times more complex! For the sake of brevity I’m literally going to copy-paste the Echo Knight’s ability description from my Skullgirls Isaac build:
The echo (or Living Shadow, if you will) has an AC of 14 plus your proficiency bonus, 1 hit point, and immunity to all conditions. If it has to make a saving throw it uses your saving throw bonus for the roll. It’s the same size as you and occupies a space. On your turn you can make the echo to move up to 30 feet in any direction without using an action but if your echo is more than 30 feet from you at the end of your turn it is destroyed.
You have several things you can do with your echo:
* You can swap places with your echo with 15 feet of your movement, regardless of the distance between the two of you.
* Any attack you make with the Attack action can originate from the echo’s space if you choose to do so.
* When a creature that you can see within 5 feet of your echo moves away from it, you can use your reaction to make an opportunity attack against that creature as if you were in the echo’s space.
* You can use Unleash Incarnation to make one additional attack from your Echo’s location when you take the attack action, adding up to 3 attacks total. You can use Unleash Incarnation a number of times equal to your Constitution modifier.
In short: Living Shadow can attack for you. We good?
(Artwork by Riot Games)
LEVEL 7 - RANGER 1
We’ve got our Q, we’ve got our W, now it’s time for our... passive? Building characters in D&D is weird. Regardless Rangers get another skill proficiency: I’d recommend the Survival skill to survive if you decide to go into the jungle.
You also get a Favored Enemy and Favored Terrain from Natural Explorer. As per usual whenever I use the Ranger class (which I seem to do a lot) I recommend talking to your DM to find out what enemies and terrain you’ll need, or alternatively use Unearthed Arcana rules. This build is rather separate from Unearthed Arcana but regardless it’s much better than baseline Ranger so I suggest looking at it.
LEVEL 8 - RANGER 2
Second level Rangers get a Fighting Style so I’d recommend one you didn’t take from Fighter 1 (since Fighting Styles don’t stack.) But notably you get access to Spellcasting and learn two spells from the Ranger list: Detect Magic will let you check if your opponent has their ultimate up before fighting, and Hunter’s Mark will let you mark an enemy for death and do an extra d6 of damage every time you hit them.
LEVEL 9 - RANGER 3
Speaking of damage: third level Rangers can choose a conclave archetype, and the Hunter archetype is as useful to assassins as it is to hunters. You get the Hunter’s Prey feature which lets you choose from three different ways to do extra damage, but Colossus Slayer will let you show your contempt for the weak by doing an extra d8 of damage to anyone who’s injured.
You also get Primeval Awareness, letting you spend a spell slot to detect enemies that are near. (Read the ability for a better understanding of how it works.) And speaking of spells how about a smoke bomb? Fog Cloud will let you create a... cloud... of fog. The area is heavily obscured for the duration unless you lose concentration or a strong wind blows it away so you can use it to block enemy vision and get into position to hide and strike!
LEVEL 10 - FIGHTER 4
Man we skipped over our Ability Score Improvements for awhile huhn? Well thankfully there’s no more multiclassing anymore as it’s just straight down Fighter now. But we’ll first be taking a Feat to even out some of our uneven ability scores, and the Observant feat is perfect for a ninja, getting an increase to passive perception to spot assassins in the dark and being able to read the lips of an enemy so you can relay the message to your allies.
LEVEL 11 - FIGHTER 5
5th level Fighters get an Extra Attack good lord finally! The thing is that more attacks means that you’ll have to “reload” your Psychic Blades with a Bonus Action more often, which is why we opted for Colossus Slayer first. So just remember that your knives are limited.
(Artwork by Riot Games)
LEVEL 12 - FIGHTER 6
6th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement: increase your Dexterity and Constitution to finally get rid of those awful uneven Ability Scores.
LEVEL 13 - FIGHTER 7
7th level Echo Knights get Echo Avatar: You can see and hear through your Living Shadow, deafening and blinding yourself while you do this. You can keep it up for 10 minutes max and can end it at any time without an action. While your echo is being used this way it can be up to 1000 feet away from you without being destroyed, meaning that you can theoretically teleport to it if you so desire. One of Zed’s biggest strengths is his ability to be practically everywhere at once.
LEVEL 14 - FIGHTER 8
8th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement: you can finally cap off your Dexterity for maximum damage with your knives and your shurikens.
LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 9
At level 9 in Fighter you get Indomitable, letting you reroll a saving throw once per Long Rest. You must use the new roll so be sure to only pop your QSS on an important stun you know you won’t get hit by again 3 seconds later.
LEVEL 16 - FIGHTER 10
10th level Echo Knights get Shadow Martyr. Hey it has “shadow” in the name! Regardless once per short rest you can use a reaction to have your Living Shadow defend an ally (or yourself) when being attacked, forcing the attack to hit the echo instead of you. People can’t shoot Zed’s shadows in League but that doesn’t mean he can’t block a skillshot for an ally.
LEVEL 17 - FIGHTER 11
11th level Fighters get three attacks per round thanks to an improvement to Extra Attack. Again remember that you can only throw two of your Psychic Blades before needing to reload, meaning that if you decide to throw them you can only do so twice before needing to spend a bonus action, and will run out of daggers if you decide to Action Surge. But since your echo can attack with melee it should be fine, right?
LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 12
12th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement: increase your Constitution for more health and more uses of Unleash Incarnation, adding up to you dying less and your enemies dying more.
LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 13
13th level Fighters get another use of Indomitable. Isn’t cool-down reduction a great stat?
LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 14
Our capstone is an Ability Score Improvement from the 14th level of Fighter: 2 points in Constitution will give you a 20 HP boost and one extra use of Unleash Incarnation.
FINAL BUILD
PROS
The merest shade of me... - You have a huge array of options in combat which are almost always available for use. You can always be armed with both a melee and ranged weapon and have insane mobility with Misty Step and the ability to swap places with your Echo, not to mention that a 40 foot movement speed puts you above the average movement for humanoids and on-par with most mid-to-high level enemies, letting you easily chase them and keep up.
Our blades crave battle - You have incredibly high damage output. Three attacks with your psychic blades is good in its own right but combined with Sneak Attack, Colossus Slayer, and Hunter’s Mark you can do a grand total of 3d6 + 1d8 extra damage with one of your three strikes. Extra attacks are a great contingency for on-hit damage boosts.
Only the worthy survive - While Zed is squishy in League of Legends this build is much tankier than average. Actually being able to invest in Constitution without losing out on abilities and most of your levels being in Fighter means that your health can easily reach up to 200. Add in Second Wind and Indomitable and you have more than a Guardian Angel to protect you.
CONS
Secrets kept are weapons wasted - You have a lot of set up time to get all your abilities up. A bonus action to draw your weapons and then another bonus action to summon your Echo, plus extra bonus actions to create more blades or more echoes, which will take away from Cunning Action or your mobility abilities.
Only time can judge us - Many of your abilities are limited: limited spells, limited protection with Indomitable and Shadow Martyr, limited damage with Unleash Incarnation and Action Surge, and most notably limited ranged attacks per turn since you can only summon two Psychic Blades per turn.
Balance is weakness - The three levels of Ranger really don’t provide much. More damage is swell and all but taking 3 more Fighter levels instead of 3 Ranger levels would give you more sustainability with Reclaim Potential, another Ability Score Improvement, and most notably a third use of Indomitable and a second use of Action Surge. Ranger makes your average damage output higher but removes your ability to quickly assassinate a target, or keep alive. And it of course forces you to invest somewhat in Wisdom, which might not be possible if you didn’t roll well for stats during character creation.
But I honestly struggled to find many points of weakness in this build; I’m actually impressed with how strong it is overall. You have the tools to take on any fight that may come your way, moving around the battlefield at lightning speeds and dropping any enemy with a flurry of blows. It’s only up to you to use those tools, less you prove yourself a Faker.
(Artwork by Riot Games)
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——— p.ersona 4
blake is 17 and a persona user who does help the investigation team. she’s a moon arcana with the persona carmilla.
her shadow self was her facing the culmination of the darkest parts of her past that she’s never shared with anyone, not just her dealing with her kleptomania but the fact that people have died because of her actions. she’s able to defeat and accept herself before her shadow turns into her persona.
her weapons are a kusarigama with a katana rather than a sickle (just like gambol shroud) and a handgun.
she struggles with her kleptomania but at least gets better about it over time after some therapy, though it doesn’t fully stop it from happening again. blake is athletic and an acrobat like in her regular verse as well, still participating in gymnastics, parkour, yoga, and aerial silks.
she’s in the book club and can almost always be found in the library focusing on her studies or the next book she’s reading. blake also has the tendency to pop up in random places out of nowhere. she has a bit too much fun sneaking up on people or being in places she shouldn’t be, always using her stealth to her advantage.
——— p.ersona 5
all of the above still applies (except for her awakening) though she’s a third year at shujin academy with a side job at a little bookstore / cafe.
not only was she secretly responsible for the deaths of multiple people (an accident that she knows is her fault) but she was nearly killed by her first love, almost killing him in self defense before her father stopped her. she was hospitalized and so was her ex-boyfriend but she never saw him again. blake doesn’t know if he survived or not and doesn’t want to know either.
her awakening happened after she stumbled into the new reality of shibuya when following the protagonist and the group, having been close to sneak up on the underclassmen. they leave as she watches some of the walking atms collapse in horror, mirroring the people who lost their lives because of her and her ex on top of that. this triggers her worst panic attack she ever experienced and she finally finds it in herself to accept what happened and that she’d never let that fear control her or let anything like that happen again. it’s then that she painfully rips off her mask while screaming and forges a contract with carmilla.
she recognizes the phantom thieves’ calling card left for kaneshiro and she reveals that she knows who they are but that she needs to know they’re not doing awful things in the name of justice or they’re going to have problems. she does not blackmail them though.
she’s not personally associated with the phantom thieves at first due to her loner personality but she has the codename, “shroud.” blake wears a black bakeneko mask (a nod to her modern au) with violet and gold details, donning a black catsuit with hints of violet all over (very much like her v.7 outfit, sans the jacket). she does, however, eventually join the team.
she’s an alternate moon arcana confidant and with a high enough rank, she can teach the protagonist trick-shots and more precise sharpshooting skills.
carmilla’s third-tier persona’s secret identity is e.lizabeth b.athory. she’s just as surprised as everyone else when she finds this out.
#p.5 au is under the cut cause i'm lazy af#🌙 ✦ au : persona 4.#🌙 ✦ au : persona 5.#death mention //#abuse mention //#long post //
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It’s that time of year when I rise from my tumblr grave and come to post the end-of-year look at the games I played
As always, my lengthy ramblings can be found under the cut. I’m thinking of posting a more trimmed down version on Twitter (where I am also pretty inactive but have slightly more of a presence than Tumblr these days).
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Assassin's Creed Syndicate (Steam)
FINAL VERDICT: Bretty Gud
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Coming directly after finishing Unity I moved onto Syndicate, knowing that it was to be the last 'real' Assassin's Creed game (with the next two moving to a more RPG-style and set in periods before the assassins and templars really existed in their current forms). I had actually originally planned to skip Unity after its terrible launch, and had purchased - and even started playing - Syndicate back in 2017...but my computer at the time was struggling with just the prologue, averaging 20-30 FPS. Once the game actually arrived at London proper, my framerate tanked to 11 FPS or lower, and I had to put the game on the backburner until I'd upgraded my computer enough to handle it.
Ultimately I'm glad that it worked out the way it did, and I did end up going back and playing Unity before Syndicate, because the games are definitely very comparable. Both are a return to the older games' focus on exploring urban environments after the past several moved the cities themselves largely out of focus, and the gameplay of Syndicate is basically a polished up version of the new system introduced in Unity. The controls were smoother and tighter, and much appreciated fixes were made to some of Unity's worst offenders, like having automatic cover behind objects now instead of doing it manually, and the 'enter' button prompt that appears when you're over a window to climb inside - something I believe I mentioned in my Unity review as one of the worst things (gameplay-wise) about that game. Also, the whistle button makes a return after its extremely baffling removal in Unity, making it actually fun and worthwhile to kill enemies from hiding spots once again.
Combat in Syndicate was decent enough once I got used to it, but personally I really did prefer Unity's style. Unity was the first AC game where combat felt genuinely tactical, and where it was possible to get overwhelmed and wrecked by enemies at ANY level, even postgame with all your upgrades and gear - thus, encouraging stealth more, and not letting it get to the point where you're swarmed by huge groups of enemies in the first place. Syndicate has some cool multi-kill moves, but I didn't even figure out how to properly execute those until the very end of the game (when I was replaying the highest-level fightclub over and over trying to get Robert Topping's rep level maxed). Aside from some fancy visuals on the killmoves, though, the combat felt watered down to me - press X to attack, B to dodge the enemy's heavily-telegraphed incoming attacks, and occasionally A on those assholes that block. I dunno, I just really enjoyed Unity's variety with stuff like the slower heavy attack, and ground execution, even if the skill points system to unlock them made them mid-to-late game abilities. In Syndicate, like most AC games before it, once you hit around the midgame point and have more gear and better equipment, you become a one-man (or woman) army and there's no challenge left - I remember I got a 124 hit combo without taking a single blow during one of the final bouts in the highest-level fight club, because it's just way too easy to play the hit, hit, dodge, hit hit dodge, blockbreak hit hit dodge game. It's my understanding that Origins changes the combat system yet again, though, so we'll see if I find that any more satisfying.
One of the main new things about Syndicate - and one I've seen a LOT of negativity about across the internet - is the rope launcher (AKA grappling hook). How realistic the steampunk-esque gadget it aside, gameplay-wise I actually liked it and thought it made sense, since London's buildings are significantly taller than anything in the past games. Here's my take on it - it's nothing new for an AC game to introduce a new traversal gimmick that's exclusive to that specific title and its setting, because it makes sense in that setting. Revelations had the hookblade, which in a way was like the proto-rope launcher. AC III had the whole 'treerunning' system because of its frontier setting, which had a very different feel to it mechanically than climbing around on buildings. And of course, Black Flag was all about ship travel. But aside from Rogue basically being Black Flag II, all of these things have largely been restricted to those specific games that introduced them, because they made SENSE for those particular settings and environments - like, just because the Ottoman assassins used hookblades to travel around Constantinople, Ubisoft didn't make the hookblade a permanent part of the AC hero's repetoire going forward. I feel like the rope launcher is no different...it exists to make traversal in THIS particular setting a little less tedious, because having to manually climb some of these buildings the old-fashioned way would otherwise be a nightmare. Besides, it's also completely optional and you CAN simply climb around the old-fashioned way if you so choose - aside from maybe the tutorial mission when you first get the thing, I can't think of any point where you were forced to use the rope launcher at all. Personally I really liked it - I don't think it 'killed' the franchise's iconic parkour system but rather integrated with it. Zip from the ground up the side of the building to a rooftop, then run and hop between the roofs and poles and rafters like usual, then zip across a large gap to a different rooftop, climb up and over a chimney, and jump across onto another roof. Sure, there's nothing stopping you from abusing the rope launcher to zip from place to place exclusively, just as there's nothing stopping you from not using the rope launcher at all. But that's exactly why it's stupid to complain about it. It's all about how much or how little the player feels like using it...and I mostly used it to fill in the gaps of otherwise standard AC roof running, mixing it in and integrating it with that gameplay, rather than replacing it. Maybe that's why I actually had fun with it.
The last new thing gameplay-wise I guess would be carriages. Once I got the hang of using them properly (gunning for first place in all the street races is very educational), it was fun enough, I suppose. I don't think the Grand Theft London jokes are lost on anyone, but personally GTA isn't my type of game so I can't say I especially LOVED the carriage driving either. I don't really care about the 'historical accuracy' of having video game horsecarts handle more like video game automobiles, I just don't really tend to like driving in video games in general. I also feel really guilty every time I crush an innocent bystander to death, which is VERY hard to avoid when you drive these things, so I think I spent a good while consciously avoiding driving unless necessary. Smashing through inanimate objects and causing wanton destruction is pretty fun, though. All in all not one of my favorite new features of the game, but I didn't hate it, either - which is a good thing given how many missions force you to get behind the reins.
As far as the story and characters go, Syndicate may not have been a marvel, but it was leagues above Unity. Jacob and Evie are likable enough, and while there's the usual share of forgettable one-note assassination targets there were also quite memorable ones like Pearl Attaway, Maxwell Roth and of course Starrick himself. I actually really liked Starrick as a character, though I felt it was a shame how little screentime he actually got considering he's the Big Bad behind the scenes of everything going on - I suppose that fit his role as sort of the businessman who uses his vast network of employees handle situations while he sits in his office and comfortably sips tea, but the out-of-focus nature he himself had in the story felt like a waste of such a charismatic character. It was however nice to see a return to the modern day story, even if it was still pretty far shoved into the background...it was at least THERE. And even Desmond got acknowledged for the first time in a while, which was nice. It's unfortunate that I know now the Juno plot was wrapped up in the COMICS rather than the actual games (something I really have no interest in reading but at this point feel like I have to just for closure), but if I had played Syndicate at the time when it came out I know I'd have been excited by a lot of the revelations that happened at the end, especially considering how far into the background Unity shoved the modern day and Juno storyline.
I think my biggest character complaint would fall to Henry Green, who's supposed to be your assassin mentor but felt like little more than a satellite around Evie for the entire game. When you first arrive in London and he gives you the rundown on how things are in the city, he reminded me of Yusuf from Revelations - someone more familiar with the goings-on than the player character, and a reliable companion and guide who the player can count on. After that, however, he felt pushed into the background and never really DID anything except, of course, accompany Evie on some of her missions. His whole thing is that he's not really a field agent, and yet the game forces him into the field JUST so he can tag along with Evie as part of one of the most forced obligatory romances I've seen in a video game. There is absolutely no chemistry between the two - Evie spends the whole first half of the game basically being defined by her work, and I NEVER got the sense that she really felt anything about Henry even when it became obvious he was interested in her. And then the game forces the whole 'oh Evie let her feelings get in the way and saved Henry and oh she's so conflicted because she's in love even though they've known each other for probably a couple of months at most but oh mixing romance and work is wrong but oh apparently Father and Mother were very much in love and it didn't compromise their work as assassins so it's okay and YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES I'LL MARRY YOU'. I was cringing the entire time - but of course, it's Ubisoft, so it had to be this way.
Speaking of Ubisoft's typical treatment of female characters, though, I DO have a few criticisms about Evie as well. We all know about the controversy Ubisoft got itself into for saying female characters were 'too much work' during Unity, and Syndicate seems like a pretty obvious response to that backlash. Giving her a co-starring role with her brother made sense, too - if it was ONLY a female protagonist, right after the backlash, Ubisoft would be accused of caving to pressure and find itself with another controversy. I think it was a smart decision to do it this way, and the story missions are pretty evenly split so you're forced to play as each of them about equally, even disregarding who you choose to play as during the open world segments (though Evie probably should have been doing something during Sequence 8 while Jacob was off blowing shit up with Roth).
My problem is more with Evie's personality...or rather, the way she's used in the story. Jacob, like most previous AC protagonists, is flawed. His flaw is his impulsiveness and tendency to rush into situations without thinking of the consequences...those consequences then becoming immediately apparent when Evie has to rush in and quickly fix his mistakes. Evie however is more focused and methodical, putting all her attention on hunting Lucy Thorne and the Shroud. Ultimately the message here, I think, is that both of the twins need EACH OTHER because when they work alone they don't see the big picture. However it felt to me more like Evie's job was just cleaning up after her clumsy brother, because she's so perfect and infallible and always right. It felt to me like in the backlash over 'no female characters' they overcorrected somewhat with Evie, because she comes off far less flawed than her brother. Arguably her flaw is that by focusing too much on the Shroud she ignores the rampant corruption eating away at London, but the story never really focuses on that angle...Evie just comes off as always being right when Jacob inevitably fucks up the next big thing. You could also say the whole 'oh no I put personal feelings before the mission' is supposed to be her flaw, but the story also goes out of its way in the end to say 'no, it's okay to do that, your father was wrong'...so, also not a flaw. Then what IS Evie's flaw? I really can't see one...and I feel like that makes her less interesting as a character. I certainly didn't DISLIKE Evie, but I feel like she just didn't have as much personality as her brother, whose flaw was more apparent and impacted his development more (feeling betrayed by Pearl, and how apathetic he got in the aftermath with Roth, in particular). Evie just...spends half the game being perfect, being right, cleaning up after her clumsy brother, and then falling victim to a romantic plot tumor. Since she was the first playable female assassin as far as most fans are concerned (it's okay, Aveline, *I* remember you) this just seems like a shame to me...a wasted opportunity to make Evie just as interesting and flawed and capable of making mistakes as her brother (and no, compromising the mission by RESCUING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING FROM CERTAIN DEATH is NOT a flaw, only sociopaths would consider that a flaw, and the game even makes it clear that it also does not consider it a flaw). I think Ubisoft was probably just too afraid to make their first major female assassin come off negatively, so they played it safe - TOO safe, resulting in Evie ultimately being more bland and uninteresting than Jacob was. Don't get me wrong, they absolutely fucked up on multiple levels with Elise in Unity, but at least she felt like an interesting and nuanced character to me...even if she DID get stuffed in the fridge.
Anyway...ultimately I had fun with Syndicate. Worth mentioning that I did NOT get any of the DLC, because the reviews for both the Maharaja and Jack the Ripper DLCs on Steam were extremely negative and didn't seem worth it at all...nor did (to me) the assorted extra missions or the murder mystery packs. Murder mysteries were an alright change of pace in Unity, but they were also way too easy and certainly not interesting enough for me to want to pay extra for. I've got 98 hours logged for 100% completing Syndicate sans-DLC, compared to 138 in Unity for doing the same + Dead Kings, but Syndicate FELT longer to me. The world was bigger and I felt like I spent more time playing around in it, and aside from my aforementioned complaints about combat I feel like it did just about everything better than Unity. I've seen a lot of generally mixed reviews around the internet and even some people saying they thought Unity was better, but I can't really agree with that. All in all Syndicate was a solid and enjoyable game, and may quite possibly be the last Assassin's Creed game of its kind given the direction we've moved into with Origins and Odyssey, so...perhaps someday people will look back on it more fondly.
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Assassin's Creed Origins (Steam)
FINAL VERDICT: Recommended
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Within the first 5 minutes of the game (if not less), things already felt innately...off. I knew that Origins retooled a lot of the game to be more RPG-like, but I guess I completely underestimated the extent to which EVERYTHING would change. After all, Unity sort of kicked off the trend of having a basic skill point system and different purchasable weapons/armor, and Syndicate furthered it with an even more in-depth skill tree and the reintroduction of crafting. I figured Origins would simply further refine these RPG-like systems, and tidy up combat yet again, which had also seen some changes in both Unity and Origins.
In any case, one of the first things (literally) I had to do was find the options menu and change the default control scheme, which is SUCH a huge departure from the system the series has been using for 10 years that it left my muscle memory crying. Fortunately the 'Alternate' control preset is far closer to the classic and familiar style (with RT as the run/climb button, for instance), and the PC version at least also allows you to rebind the controls further...which I did (particularly to put the drop/parkour down button on B, as it was in Unity and Syndicate). Rebinding the controls too much *can* lead to some issues with overlap and even breaking certain functions (I can no longer dive underwater with B presumably because I set it as my 'drop' button, so now it does a dash underwater instead...so I do have to use the C key on my keyboard to actually dive now) but ultimately those snags are pretty minor. That said, the resulting new controls during chariot races being so heavily concentrated on the right side of my controller did leave my hand seriously hurting after my first racing tournament.
(I wrote a lot about my thoughts on this right after starting, coming off Syndicate and feeling the unfamiliarity of the game hard, and it comes off a lot like I’m rambling about the Good Ol’ Days of AssCreed and how different Origins is from that experience more than an actual review of the game. While I think a lot of what I ranted about is still valid, it’s also not really about THIS game, so I think I’m just gonna skip over a lot of that and get into my actual, I-finally-finished-the-game thoughts instead)
Ultimately I enjoyed it a lot, and I did 100% complete the whole game + both DLCs, but at the end of the day I have to stand by my verdict that it’s not really an ASSASSIN'S CREED game as we’ve come to know them for so long. Did I have a lot of fun taking out entire camps with the predator bow before anyone could catch me in the act? Very much. But that's about the only kind of SNEAKING I felt like I ever had to do in the game, compared to older entries that had a wider variety of stealth options. Bayek was definitely more of a warrior than an assassin, IMO. I feel like, for all the flak it got as a game (and much of it deserved), Unity was the best AC as far as stealth mechanics and mission options. Syndicate refined those and fixed things like moving behind cover, but with Jacob being more of a brawler that also meant there was a lot of that game you could easily do without having to be super stealthy. Bayek, and the push towards the more RPG-like systems in Origins, makes it pretty clear that we likely won't be getting a return to classic AC form any time soon, and while I enjoyed Origins a lot that still makes me very sad.
Still, I look forward to Odyssey whenever it decides to go on sale enough for me to grab it, because Origins WAS a lot of fun. I ended up clocking 192 hours in it, completing all the DLC, and getting every achievement, so clearly I enjoyed the game. It's more just a bittersweet feeling that the AC franchise as we knew it is probably dead, as Ubisoft moves further and further away from the franchise staples, and continues to bury the modern day story and conspiracy theory angles deeper beneath the historical storyline.
(I also had some rants about how Aya/Amunet would have made a better protagonist of a proper Assassin’s Creed game while Bayek was more the protagonist of a general revenge story and how Aya, as she was, was much like Evie in that I didn’t really like her much and feel like I could/should have liked her more if she was utilized better as a more robust character, but in the interest of not going off on this game forever I’m gonna snip that part as well)
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7 Days to Die (Steam)
FINAL VERDICT: Bretty Gud
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Another of the plethora of survival/building/crafting games that have been all the rage these days. Sorta like ARK, but instead of dinosaurs, it's zombies. Zombie games aren't personally my cup of tea, because I am a big baby, and the game has a lot of elements that I think would classify it as survival horror and not just survival/building/crafting. Solo, I would never be able to tolerate this game, but with a friend or two, I found it quite fun. It scratches a lot of the same itches as ARK but the survival aspects take more of a forefront, whereas in ARK once you've progressed to metal tools and flak armor the temperature and hunger management aspects become little more than a minor nuisance.
When we started out, we were right on the border of the snow biome (once my friend trekked from their spawn point and found me, that is), so the cold and just barely avoiding constant starvation (sometimes) was an ever-present threat. It really felt like we were being pushed to raid the nearby houses in hopes of finding scraps of food and resources to keep us alive. After a while we were able to gear up enough to move slightly further out to a more temperate biome, near a large cornfield, where we could begin cultivating our own crops. Once starvation became manageable we were able to shift out focus to other tasks, like expanding our base in preparation for the titular 7th day (though it was the 30th day due to adjusted server settings for us) - the Bloodmoon, where swarms and swarms of zombies attack your base and you have to survive the night.
This sort of PVE tower defense mode is something I've often wished was a thing in ARK (and no, orbital supply drops aren't the same thing) - PVP is too toxic for my tastes, but a constant problem in that game is reaching the eventual 'now what?' point where you're practically unfuckable and nothing is a challenge anymore. Having that sort of ever-present danger and challenge to look forward to (or dread, if done right) keeps PVE gameplay in this sort of game a lot more interesting because you can't just sit on your laurels and get complacent. PVE builds are generally more about making buildings that look nice and less about fortifying them with adequate defenses because those rexes that stomp through your front yard can't bite through metal, so why worry? I like having that balance, where I can build a base that I think looks nice and is functional with storage and crafting and whatnot, but I ALSO like the idea that if my defenses aren't up to snuff...I can kiss my ass goodbye.
So the Bloodmoon mechanic, while terrifying, is a big draw of this game IMO. There's also the other side of that PVP coin that sounds fun in theory but is not in practice (because real people are assholes): raiding other peoples' bases. Of course, zombies spawn randomly in the overworld and you can run into them any time during your travels and resource runs, but the map is also littered with abandoned houses and other buildings like stores, factories, hospitals and even creepy mad scientist castles. These places often have pretty good resources and loot, so you're encouraged to explore them...but of course they are also crawling with zombies. And the zombies are not always out in the open for you to get off a quick headshot on, either - often times they'll hide, inside closets or above ceiling tiles, to ambush you if you're careless. You really have to be prepared for anything, and willing to drop heavy loot and run away if the going gets particularly tough. To me this feels more engaging than just killing stuff out in the overworld, because it's like I actually have to conquer someone else's castle and that feels more like a concrete goal to me.
In general it feels like a fairly standard, but enjoyable, early access (but frequently updated) survival/building/crafting game. However, these little things kept me coming back for more once I'd grown bored of being the unconquerable dino king of ARK. Would I recommend it? Only to a specific audience, but that audience has probably already played it. For me the general survival horror atmosphere and frequent jumpscares in narrow corridors when a zombie jumps out at you from above the ceiling and shit is a lot...even playing with my friend, I basically played the support sniper role in combat while they had the frontline with melee weapons, and that didn't stop my heart from leaping out of my chest on many occasions. I remember that time we raided a huge pharmacy building on a day where it just would not stop raining...the rain sounds in this game are VERY realistic, and also very loud. I could barely hear my friend over the rain half the time, let alone the warning sounds of nearby zombies being drowned out by the storm. We had to stay the night, and well into the next day it was STILL raining...we had so many close calls in there, and even a couple actual deaths (fortunately we had temporary beds set up in a safe room so we wouldn't have to trek back from base). Once the rain finally stopped, and we returned to base and called it a night IRL, I felt such relief...I hadn't realized how much I was ACTUALLY STRESSED by the game in such a tense situation. Which...is that "fun"? Again, I think it depends on the type of person, and even then is probably very situational. I think I realized in the aftermath that I did not have fun that night, but when I was there in the moment, the tension was certainly immersive.
So yeah. It's a fun game if you have a good friend or two to play it with, and if you think you can handle horror elements and potential jumpscares. Which I can't. But my friend is very supportive and understanding of that so I didn't have to feel like a big baby when I got audibly startled during our gameplay sessions, so I really do think WHO you play it with can make a big difference, too.
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Ultimate Skyrim (Steam)
FINAL VERDICT: Bretty Gud
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A bit of an odd thing to review, I know. Ultimate Skyrim is obviously not a game in itself, but as a modpack that completely revises the way the game is played I felt like it was worth mentioning...especially since it gives me something to pad out this very small list with.
I actually first heard about Ultimate Skyrim a couple years ago, but back then the install process was so daunting that even I (someone who can spend weeks perfecting my load order whenever I go to replay Skyrim) was put off by it. Plus, at the time, it was still in version 3 and I knew there was a version 4 in the works, so I figured I may as well wait for that before I gave it a try.
When I got the itch to replay Skyrim again, as I seem to every year once fall and winter come around, I remembered UltSky existed and check in to see that version 4 was out, had full gamepad support (essential for me), AND the install process was easier than ever thanks to the Automaton tool. So I thought, why not?
It was my first time trying Requiem, but I'm no stranger to some of the basic concepts the mod introduces, since some of my mainstay mods (ex. Advanced Adversary Encounters) make similar changes. Plus, a solid half of the UltSky pack consisted of mods I've played regularly, so I didn't think it would be that hard to acclimate to.
I was wrong.
Requiem changes much more than I expected it to, which, in hindsight, explains why practically every mod out there requires a patch to work with it. The constant stamina drain that you need to account for with buffs from food, made worse if you decide to go heavy armor...no natural health regen, and all potions being heal-over-time instead of flat instant heals...the perk tree really requiring thought and planning to budget your points right and not spread yourself too thin, and even getting 'locked in' to the type of standing stone you choose as your birthsign. All kinds of little elements piling up to make your early game a living nightmare.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I found that I don't much like Requiem. Now, I'm not opposed to challenge, and pretty much every playthrough I mod my game to MAKE the game more challenging because vanilla Skyrim is such a cakewalk. But it's the WAY Requiem changes things, the specific mindset and vision that toes the line between 'fun' challenging and 'you must be a masochist or hardcore minmaxer to enjoy this' that doesn't appeal to me specifically. I much prefer my usual combination of Advanced Adversary Encounters + Wildcat + Ultimate Combat + Mortal Enemies + maybe True Armor (I only played a little with it on my last pre-UltSky playthrough but I liked it) to make fights more deadly and tactical. Requiem makes combat more difficult, absolutely, but the vision is different, and it feels like minmaxing is the answer to surviving encounters more than strategy and skill. Like, if I don't have the right gear, or perked myself in a specific way, or else carry an assload of fortify potions (something I hate even in the base game but is made even more annoying to me through Requiem and UltSky's unpaused menu system)...then my chances of surviving are very, very slim. And to me that just isn't fun.
A deleveled world is kind of fun, though I'd never tried it before...that sense of progression where you can't just take on a cave of warlocks at level 2 gives me something to work towards, though it does also feel somewhat limiting as far as where you start. One of the appeals of alternate start mods and WHY they're among the most popular is that freedom of not having to go Helgen > Riverwood > Whiterun, but a deleveled world also makes me feel like I'm being punished if I get a random start up in Windhelm, and that I have to head down and chump it up in Whiterun anyway, because that's where the weak enemies who won't oneshot me are. I'm sort of whatever about that aspect though.
To me it's like...I can't agree with it being called 'the roleplaying overhaul' because having to focus so much on how I spend my perks, what spells I learn, my gear, which enchantments I use, having to carry at least 3 weapons at any given time and encumber my loot-loving ass because I never know if I might need a mace or a sword...the list goes on. I'm not trying to shit on it because there's clearly a huge community of people who love what Requiem brings to the table - they're just all things that don't appeal to me PERSONALLY when I can usually think of a mod that makes the same sort of changes to my game but does so in a way that I find more appealing, that's all.
So then...if I'm feeling this negative about Requiem (the very core of Ultimate Skyrim), why did I give it a positive rating? Well, because even if I don't love Requiem, I still think Ultimate Skyrim is fun.
I know that probably sounds ridiculous. But to me, I think considering Ultimate Skyrim as just 'that one Requiem modpack' is really selling it short. UltSky adds a lot on top of that core Requiem experience, and while some of that makes the struggle to survive the early levels even MORE hellish than base Requiem, I think it actually manages to bring the roleplaying and - dare I say - immersion - back to the table.
Of course, it's got a lot of the classic 'immersion' mods in there...iNeed, Frostfall, Campfire, even somewhat more niche stuff like Bathing in Skyrim. Needs mods I can give or take, sometimes I don't bother with them because the micromanagement can often feel more annoying than fun (I prefer cooking mods that make meals feel more worth eating with long-lasting buffs than mods that actually make me 'hungry', usually). I'd never used Frostfall before for similar reasons despite being very aware of it for years because of its popularity...I actually didn't dislike it though, and it really does make Skyrim feel harsher and like you have to prepare more for your journeys.
The thing about UltSky is that it's not just a big rec list of mods thrown together haphazardly. BelmontBoy has actually taken the enormous amount of time to patch all these mods together to make them work as one seamless, cohesive entity. Of course, it's not perfect - at the end of the day Skyrim was simply not designed with a lot of these features in mind, and the MCM configuration at the start of every new character you make is a huge pain in the ass. But once you get it going, the functions all fit pretty well together...planning my daily activities and general gameplay loop around the weather and time of day, making sure I drop into the tavern and have a bite to eat, deposit any goods in a safe chest and my (weighted) gold off with the bank service, and making sure I go to bed at a decent hour and sleep well.
Ultimately (heh) it makes Skyrim feel like a completely different game, and changes the way you play significantly. I may not agree with all of those changes, but I can't deny the appeal of having an easy to install pack that doesn't take me 3 weeks to perfect before I can play, and where the mods are all designed to work well with each other so unexpected conflicts don't pop up halfway into my playthrough when it's too late to fix them. The controller support and things like iEquip and EasyWheel are also conveniences that changed the game for me, and I will definitely be planning to make use of in future non-UltSky playthroughs as well...for that matter, I also found myself surprisingly enjoying the unpaused menus (though I disabled it for merchants because I got tired of their idle dialogue firing constantly while I was shopping).
Of course, being me, I did make some personal changes to my UltSky install (particularly things like Noxcrab's and kbeazy's Req and UltSky patches to tone down some of the more masochistic elements of Requiem), but the fact that it's as accessible and easy as it is to get up and running even for people who DON'T obsess over their load orders is a big deal, I think.
Is it the ultimate Skyrim experience? No, absolutely not. The ultimate Skyrim experience will always be the one you build yourself to your preferences, and don't have to make due with features you don't like. But I do really appreciate and respect the work BelmontBoy has done with Ultimate Skyrim, and I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who wants to try something a bit different.
Though I'm done playing it for the time being, I've still got another playthrough planned that I think will work pretty well with UltSky...it was a character I was really having fun with, but basically had to abandon due to mod complications fucking up my save and me not having the energy to troubleshoot. I think reviving him in UltSky would be pretty fun, so next time that Skyrim urge inevitably hits me, that's my plan.
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Ciconia no Naku Koro Ni: Phase 1 (Steam)
FINAL VERDICT: Recommended
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Alright, alright. Ciconia’s not really a GAME, but as the first When They Cry in almost a decade I feel like it would be a crime for me to not include it on my list.
Worth noting, first of all, that I pretty much never buy games on day 1 at full price. I wait for them to go on sale for $20 or under, even if it means waiting a few years (which is why I'm usually so behind the times on the games I've played). But we've already waited 8 years since Umineko ended for the next When They Cry, when we didn’t even know if the franchise was gonna continue AT ALL. Besides that, the most fun part of a new WTC is getting to discuss it with people while it's exciting and fresh, and waiting around for a sale would mean missing out on all that. As it is, I didn't get into Umineko until a little before the release of EP5, so I missed out on all the live discussions for the question arcs while they were still new. I wasn't about to sit around and wait a year or more for the price to drop. Ciconia was a rare full-price day 1 purchase for me, and I finished it over the course of the release weekend.
Since I already reviewed the game after finishing my liveblog in the 07th Expansion Central Discord server, I’m going to basically reiterate and build upon what I said then when my thoughts were still fresh.
I enjoyed Phase 1 a lot and it definitely surprised me in how long it was, and how polished just about everything was (maybe except the small BGM selection, but that will surely be expanded in future phases). We had animations, detailed backgrounds and sprites, it definitely feels like a big improvement over Umineko in the presentation department...but it still falls victim to the same issue Umineko EP1 and Higurashi's Onikakushi had, something that Ryukishi seems to have trouble with in general - PACING.
To be FAIR, the whole setting of Ciconia did necessitate a lot more exposition than the previous When They Cry entries. Umineko and Higurashi took place in 1980's Japan - a time and place that actually existed. Ciconia takes place in the far future and had a LOT of worldbuilding Ryukishi basically had to establish from the ground up, not to mention taking place on a global scale featuring parts of the world that the average Japanese reader might not be familiar with, especially with how the factions of A3W also make those parts of the world so different than we know them today. So I DO understand why it had to drag on like that, to a degree, because Ryukishi clearly had a LOT he wanted to convey in both worldbuilding and social and political commentary (and a lot of what seemed like very clear Take Thats at people who missed and continue to miss the point of Umineko to this day, even after the EP8 manga adaptation should have cleared all doubts).
Even so...it's still hard to actually push through huge infodumps like that, before anything really engaging happens to hook you in. We had to learn about the state of the world and the factions and all the tech and just about everything and I do admire HOW MUCH worldbuilding he came up with here and how he managed to eventually explain just about all of it in a way that left me feeling like I had a pretty solid grasp on how the world worked...but at the same time, it was hard to just sit down and will myself to read through so much lengthy exposition.
I think if I had to compare it to Higurashi and Umineko's starting episodes, the beginning paced much better. Phase 1 was much LONGER than either of those two first installments, and it still managed to sprinkle a lot of intrigue into the early parts that made it a little easier to get into than, say, Higurashi spending an absurdly long time on the slice of life club game antics before the real meat of the story began, or Umineko going on and on ad nauseum about the family's history and financial problems when I'm just sitting here waiting for the witch to show up.
But while Higurashi and Umineko dragged their feet through the beginning, I think the worst of Ciconia's pacing was actually the MIDDLE section.
There was a point where it seemed that, after every genuinely interesting scene that left me curious and wanting more, I got teleported back to the bathhouse against my will to listen to the same 4 characters have the exact same conversation for 20 minutes before I could finally get back to the next interesting scene...only for it to happen again after that.
That endless pattern of:
>world is going to shit despite our efforts
>we're just chess pieces and have no power
>cheer up miyao you're having an impact on everyone and we can do it
>let's protect the walls of peace together!!!!
>shit goes wrong again, rinse, repeat
Look, I GET it. You're all comrades working together to support the walls of peace, and you're also treasured friends fighting against the corrupt and uncaring adults who don't understand or appreciate all you young gauntlet knights have had to endure for the sake of maintaining those walls of peace. And how no matter what they try to do to get you to hate each other or kill each other, you'll always be friends who will work together, to maintain the walls of peace!!! I GET IT. YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP SAYING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER. I KNOW that I am reading a When They Cry novel and that, to appreciate the full ironic pain that comes once these characters DO turn on each other and the cruel slaughter begins, I need to see them when they are insisting that they'll never hurt each other, but I'd rather SEE them bond than just be TOLD over and over that they're comrades supporting the walls of peace!!
The thing is, aside from a small handful (Cairo in particular), I DO feel like we got to see the characters bond. So why, on top of that, did we ALSO need to keep repeating walls of peace walls of peace walls of peace over and over again BESIDES? It felt like unnecessary padding at that point, when so many interesting things were going on, but we just had to keep cutting away from them to watch the same tired scene play out at least once per chapter.
It probably also doesn't help that Ciconia is a beast composed of two themes/genres I'm not really a big fan of - sci-fi/futuristic, and heavy political/social commentary. So the fact that the beginning was spent largely explaining all the futuristic sci-fi technology, and the middle was spent going on a lot about the political angle, may not have helped hold my interest as much. Not to say I didn't enjoy the story, just that those factors may have made it even harder for me to latch on than it may have been for other people. Still, I've heard a lot of people voice the pacing complaint for various reasons so I don't think it's ALL me, there.
In general, Phase 1 was a rollercoaster ride. I was really drawn in heavily by the conspiracy theory and mystery elements, but found myself grow bored during the more politically-charged parts. The social commentary was certainly topical and I appreciated the fact that Ryukishi had a lot he wanted to say (which almost seemed to be making up for how he kept Umineko vague due to it being 'difficult to talk about' certain key subjects of that story), but the parts about the strife between the factions over geographical and political issues were less engaging to me. The more conspiracy-laden bits of intrigue grabbed me a lot more - I felt a lot of overlap between that angle of the story and the early Assassin's Creed games (before the modern day got more and more shafted), with that strong angle of 'history is written by the winners and there's a whole bunch of stuff that happened in the past that is being deliberately covered up', and I really like that. The strong biblical undercurrent especially enhances that sort of mystique that makes ancient conspiracies so fascinating...the idea that there could be secrets from antiquity that have fallen into myth and legend due to the meddling of ancient sects like the Three Kings, seeking to guide humanity down what they consider to be 'the right path', regardless of how many lives are lost as they repeat their schemes over and over again.
For Phase 1, at least, there was a LOT going on, because so much had to be established. I imagine it'll get easier from this point now that all this stuff is out of the way, so we can focus more on how all these different elements intertwine. Hell, we spent all that time in the beginning talking about CPPs and Meow, but she basically faded off and became irrelevant halfway through the story. SURELY all that stuff was more than just Ryukishi talking some sense into the people who ignored Umineko's message, and will come into play more in future phases, but as of right now there's a lot of elements like that where it feels like we don't know enough to really speculate on how important it's going to be to the story. Right now there are so many things going on that it's hard to know what to focus on - content-wise, it feels like we got as much as 3 arcs' worth of Higurashi and Umineko. Of course, if Ciconia really is only going to be 4 phases long, that makes sense...but it does make it a lot harder to figure out what we should be paying attention to when SO much has happened already. The last 20 minutes of the game alone was far more of a mindfuck than anything in Higurashi or Umineko.
All in all I am very much looking forward to Phase 2 (which has already been delayed from its expected release of next May, though I already predicted that'd happen...does that make this a 'prophecy'?), and I've enjoyed discussing it all in the 07th Expansion Central Discord, so I feel like I got my money's worth already. Time will tell how Ciconia stacks up to the obsessive experience that Umineko was for me, but for better or worse, I have faith in Ryukishi to make this story a Hell of a ride.
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Kingdom Come Deliverance (Steam)
FINAL VERDICT: Recommended (if the middle ages mysogyny doesn't put you off)
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I'd heard both good and bad things about KCD when it came out...people praised the attention to historical detail and realism, but complained about the plethora of bugs and performance issues (on PC anyway). I was a little surprised to see it offer a steep discount and free play weekend back in September, when the game only just came out in 2018, but I figured, why not give it a try since it's free? I ended up playing for almost 20 hours before the weekend ended, and found myself enjoying it more than I thought I would.
Coming right on the heels of my Ultimate Skyrim playthough, I was impressed by how much more enjoyable the RPG survival mechanics could be when a game was actually built with them IN MIND, rather than having to tack them on with mods. A lot of the core KCD features are similar to Requiem and UltSky - no auto-health regen, having to actually practice and train to get skilled using your weapons/armor, paying attention to your opponents in combat and not being able to win just by mashing attack, as well as having to keep yourself fed, rested, and so on. But since KCD was actually designed with all of these systems integrated, it felt a lot less clunky and tedious to manage them. I ended up being pretty sad that I didn't grab it during the sale before the free weekend ended and I found myself enjoying my UltSky playthrough a lot less after witnessing these kinds of 'hardcore' features done, well...better than Requiem does them.
The game went on sale again about 2 months later, and since it coincided with my birthday, I decided to go for it.
One thing I feel I've been getting more and more used to these days is the first-person perspective in games. It's always been something I've disliked compared to third person, and typically if a game gives me the choice I'll go with third every time. In crafting/survival games like ARK (which HAS third person but it kinda sucks), 7 Days to Die and even hearkening back to my Minecraft days of yore, first person was more tolerable and made sense because it's much easier to build things with a first person camera. It also makes sense for shooters because you get an unobstructed aim at your target - the same reason I'll usually switch into first for archery in Skyrim, even though I play everything else in third. But a full blown RPG in first, with no option to switch situationally, was still difficult for me to get used to. Once you understand the basics of how KCD's combat works and everything though, it's obvious why it wouldn't really WORK with a third person camera, so after a while it became second nature to me.
While I'm still not quite finished at the time of this review (just got out of the monestary and am wrapping up sidequests before getting locked into the final endgame story quests), I can say I've quite enjoyed the story so far. It's not exactly a groundbreaking premise - you start off in the Doomed RPG Hometown where you do your little tutorial missions and get a feel for how to play, then the bad guys storm through and slaughter everyone, including your parents, sparking the hero's quest for revenge. However, there's something about the characterization and the gravity of the situation (especially with Henry being a peasant and not a JRPG adventurer) still managed to suck me in. That scene near the beginning, when you're standing there on the castle ramparts in the rainy night, watching the lord of Talmberg try and deceive the enemy...and then explicitly disobey orders and flee back to Skalitz to bury your parents even though it's a foregone conclusion that it's a Very Bad Idea...there was something that just really gripped me and made me eager to find out what would happen next. Which, considering I was playing on a free weekend at this point, also worked really well from the standpoint of devs hooking you with a strong beginning enough to make you want to purchase the game.
Sure, with time, training, and enough money to buy some really good weapons and armor (or enough perseverance to win some in the weekly tournaments, like I did) you can turn Henry from a lowly blacksmith's son into an RPG God. BUT...it DOES take work to get there, and it feels believable as a result. You're handed a Really Nice Sword in the very beginning of the game but because you have no idea how to lose it you get your ass quickly handed to you, the sword stolen, and would be left for dead if not for the timely intervention of a neighbor. The thing is, though this event is of course scripted, it doesn't FEEL like the game is railroading me into purposefully losing a fight that I might have been able to win due to player skill...because at this point, Henry legitimately has no training!! No amount of savescumming (also made nearly impossible by the game's default save system, though I am using the unlimited save mod) or player cheesing could change the fact that a peasant who's never had to swing a real sword or fight for his life would get his shit kicked in by an actual trained warrior. Only after this event, when you have the opportunity to take lessons with Captain Bernard, can you actually learn proper (if basic, at first) sword techniques and work your way into becoming an actual man-at-arms.
That sense of actual growth and progression in Henry is a big part of what makes the experience fun, I think. You really do feel like you're a struggling nobody at the beginning, but as you work your way up in the world and become more respected by your peers and even the nobility, you start to feel like you earned it. You get to go from an unwashed peasant in dirty and torn-up clothes starting petty arguments with the local lord-to-be to a trusted and well-respected member of the local garrison, wearing your expensive and regularly-polished armor and listening to the people greet you accordingly. Does it have some of the power fantasy elements you'd expect from a zero-to-hero story? Maybe so, but they never felt like they were undeserved - all the respect my Henry got was due to his actions, and not just by virtue of being The Protagonist.
That said, there are some elements of the game that might not sit well with people. The game does take place in 1403 and its main selling point is its historical realism, and all that historical realism entails - but that doesn't mean the Medieval Misogyny is going to be tolerable for everyone playing it in 2019+1 and beyond. Females are generally cast in the roles you would expect of them during the time period and even the 'strong' female characters are still subservient to the men. That's how it was, and for a game that sells itself on its authenticity, it's a bit of a sticky thing to argue about. Likewise I've seen criticism about 'racism' simply because pretty much every character in the game is white...even though darker-skinned people would have been pretty rare to the area in that time period (possibly in Prague, but the game doesn't actually take you there, so that's a moot point). Still, while I don't think they're really fair arguments to make against the game for simply portraying things the way they were back then, it's still absolutely fair to say the game isn't for everybody and there's nothing wrong with people who might find the content offensive.
At the end of the day this is still a game where you are forced to play the role of a male character - this is not a create-your-own-hero game where you get to define who you are and what you look like and 100% of your character's backstory and personality. It's the story of Henry, and while you're given a lot of opportunities to play Henry as a respectable Knight or as an absolute Scoundrel as you please, it is still HENRY'S STORY - not yours. This is a game where there are achievements for having sex, and an achievement for remaining a virgin. You can use the bathhouses to have a good time and get yourself an 'alpha male' buff if you so choose (I've not once used them for anything but cleaning my clothes because I am staying loyal to Theresa). You'll bump into quests where you'll see things like a lord not wishing to purchase well-bred horses from a woman simply because she's a woman, or the very insinuation that you might want to help give a down-on-her-luck woman a job as a water carrier (physical work!!) absolutely ludicrous. All kinds of little things like that, which are in my opinion pretty minor in the grand scheme of misogyny in video games, but again...while I don't hold it against the game itself for its portrayal of the era, I also don't hold it against people who might be offended by these things to not play the game.
If you ARE willing to look past some occasionally uncomfortable 'historical accuracy', though, you'll find a very enjoyable RPG with largely likable characters and engaging (if not revolutionary) storytelling. The game mechanics are well-integrated and it feels less like I'm being forced to eat/drink/sleep/bathe and more like I'm willingly adopting a realistic schedule and means of planning my days. Once you master the combat system you can definitely feel like an unfuckable God, but all it takes is one extra enemy being alerted to your presence than you planned for, or a single failed block, to ruin your day and remind you that you are still a normal human being and not a supernatural video game war machine. If that kind of thing sounds less like a fun challenge and more like frustration to you, this is probably also not a game you will enjoy. Personally I really like it, and when I do get my shit kicked in it feels like it's my own fault for being too cocky and ill-prepared (great example: I never wear my helmet when I'm doing errands around town and talking to people because it seems rude as fuck but sometimes I forget to put it on when I travel and if I'm unlucky enough to run into a bandit ambush my head is now a very easy target). And that feels FAIR to me, unlike games where I fail because I didn't minmax enough or seek out some specific piece of OP gear that would allow me to cheese the situation instead of making use of my own skills and abilities.
I think it says a lot that this is one of the only games where I have considered doing a playthrough in Hardcore Mode, a mode that some games will include that is clearly designed for masochists who hate fun. But somehow, the idea of KCD in hardcore mode actually sounds the opposite to me, forcing me to REALLY pay attention to the gameplay systems I've largely become able to ignore by the lategame (I've literally had the Balanced Diet perk active for ingame weeks because it's so easy to keep my hunger between 80-90 just by eating from food pots). Whether I actually go through with it depends on how easily distracted I am (read: very) because I may just want to move on and play other games by the time I finish, but I can still see myself giving it another go someday and trying for those last elusive achievements.
In the end, I feel like KCD is one of those games, like Shadow of Mordor, where I'd love to see other RPGs take a page or two as reference. KCD's historical realism is one of the main things that sets it apart from your typical fantasy RPG, but I also think fantasy RPGs could benefit from those realistic elements (not just the need to eat/drink/sleep but also stuff like longer-lasting injuries, not being able to heal mid-combat, or people actually remembering and being pissed at you if you just robbed them blind the night before). But until that day comes, I'll settle for a KCD sequel.
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Divinity: Original Sin 2 (Steam)
FINAL VERDICT: Unfinished
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I shouldn't even be playing this, since I've not yet finished the first one (still plan to, someday...I think I was like 2/3 through where I left off), but I grabbed it a little while back in a sale and started playing it with a friend.
As of this writing we're only just about to get off the introductory island and presumably end the first major story arc, so it's not really enough for a proper rating. However, it feels more or less like the first game, with a little more polish. The gameplay is pretty much exactly the same, and the writing has that same level of not taking itself too seriously. Feels like the kind of sequel that's basically 'it's the same core game but with a new story to tell', which isn't a bad thing, since the original was already quite good.
One major difference is that the characters seem more interesting this time around. In the first game, aside from the main duo that were basically just your own blank slate characters, you only had four other choices for your remaining two party members. I picked the mage and the archer since my main duo were a rogue and warrior type and I didn't want role overlap, but while the mage had a pretty robust and interesting backstory I thought the archer was a bit dull by comparison...and apparently that's because she and the rogue NPC were only added to the game later, so they weren't quite as enjoyably fleshed out as the mage and the warrior (who I didn't take). And even then, their stories felt a bit more...background? Sure, their personal quests tied into yours and you'd unravel bits and pieces along the way to help them resolve their own problems, but it never felt terribly integrated into the adventure of my main duo.
This time around, all the characters on the cover art are possible traveling companions with their own in-depth stories...but what's more, you can also choose to play as any one of them (or go the same route as the first game and just be your own character without a premade backstory). For my game with my friend we chose to play as two of the default characters, and are trying hard to stick to roleplaying in line with their backgrounds (and, also, villainous scoundrels). The interesting thing is that when you go that route you occasionally get in-character dialogue options that correspond to your character's backstory, in addition to the usual options. So while you're on one hand roleplaying as the character however you see fit, you also have the chance to explore the background story the creators envisioned for a particular NPC at the same time.
Again, I'm not really far enough to judge things like the story (though I am already a bit sick of how much has revolved around the dude I killed in the first story arc of the first game, like a thousand in-universe years before this game), but overall it feels like pretty much the same game as the first, just...a sequel. And again, that's not a bad thing. It's also fun to be doing it this time around in co-op, since the first game was so very clearly intended to be played that way too, but I was going it solo and just controlling both of the main characters (which made the occasional chances for disagreements between them very silly). Basically, if you like the first game, you'll probably like the second, but if you were hoping for something a little bit different than the first, you'd be disappointed.
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Conan Exiles (Steam)
FINAL VERDICT: Bretty Gud
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Once again, I've been pulled in by a free weekend.
I'd heard various things about Conan Exiles...praise, complaints, and a lot of jokes about dick physics. But I've also been vaguely interested in it for seeming like ARK, minus the dinosaurs, but with the kind of satisfying third-person combat mechanics I like. So when it had a free (4-day!) weekend just before the start of the Steam holiday sale, I thought, why not give it a try?
I'll tell you why not - because it's ARK, minus the dinosaurs, but with the kind of satisfying third-person combat mechanics I like. In other words, the perfect ingredients to get me addicted to yet another survival/building game.
Now, I know next to nothing about Conan lore, but I also knew next to nothing about LoTR and I still had a blast playing Shadow of Mordor, so I knew that sometimes not having an extensive background of the source material can be okay. Conan Exiles is apparently extremely faithful to the original stories, and there is actually a LOT of lore sprinkled throughout the game. It's not unlike ARK's explorer notes, except they're all in English so I can actually read and understand them (turns out it's more engaging to read lore about a game within the game itself than on a wiki - who knew!!). And despite being an open-world survival/building game, it's also apparently got a concrete storyline with a concrete ending, which is pretty unheard of in this genre, so that's kinda cool.
At the moment I've only been playing in singleplayer. For the duration of the free weekend I chose to play completely vanilla - I don't like to mod games until I know the basic mechanics (so I know what sorts of things I'd LIKE to mod), but I also didn't touch any of the multipliers or anything either. I found the defaults a lot more forgiving than ARK's, but definitely still grindy. Once I decided to buy I started installing a couple mods and bumped my multipliers a bit. By that time I already had my current base built (though I'm thinking of moving) so I started just flying around in admin mode and building other stuff, particularly with modded structures (the Egyptian-style building kit was a lot of fun to play with).
The building mechanics are basically the same as ARK's, but refined and generally feel smoother. The snap points can still be a bit finicky but things seem to go where I want them to a lot more often than with ARK, and I've had a LOT less problems with my ceilings. The fact that the base game includes triangle pieces and didn't need to buy out a very popular mod to include them is also a plus. There's a bit more variety in pieces, too, like several different styles of roofing - not to mention the wealth of decoration items in the base game. Because of that this game seems to have a strong appeal to roleplayers, but to me it strongly appeals to my childhood fascination with LEGO and building crazy structures that I would then furnish and decorate with my other small non-LEGO toys. With ARK, unless you're lucky enough to find a server with a bunch of eco's mods, decoration options are sparse, so I really do appreciate all the clutter items the base game gives me to play with (and of course there are also mods that add hundreds more).
Then comes the part where the game feels like a totally different animal from ARK - general exploration and combat. In ARK, the main gameplay loop is taming stronger and stronger dinosaurs to perform harvesting tasks for you and to fight other dinosaurs or players. You can station them around your base to keep it safe from intruders, or start breeding OP ones to take into the boss arenas. The whole appeal of the game is to tame and ride dinosaurs, so aside from your first hour or so trying to survive on foot that's basically what you'll be using for all your traveling and fighting needs.
Of course, one of the main gameplay loops in Conan Exiles is capturing NPCs and having them run your crafting stations and guard your base, not unlike raising your dinos, and you can even capture baby animals and raise them as companions. But while you can bring (one) thrall or animal follower along with you on journeys, for the most part you are alone in these harsh lands surviving by your own skills. The most recent update introduced horses, but the riding controls leave a lot to be desired at the moment so I've mostly just been walking across the land on foot...which is harsh, and makes you really think about what you need when you set off on a long journey from home (food, water, healing items, tools, weapons, stuff to repair your equipment with if it breaks...and all of that stuff weighs you down if you haven't buffed your encumbrance, so coming back with your arms full of loot can be tricky).
While it can be a bit of a pain when you're accustomed to mount-based traveling in games like ARK, it does also solve one of ARK's biggest problems IMO - once you get a flier, you will never want to use anything else, and you can just avoid 99% of the danger on the map by flying everywhere. It's a problem I've started going out of my way to circumvent, but in Conan Exiles it's the default state. Even if they flesh out and improve mounts more, I think it'd be a bit awkward compared to solo traveling because the map is designed in such a way that you'll have to climb a lot of places, and I think that makes it a bit refreshing compared to ARK's 'you can get almost everywhere better and more safely on a dino's back so why would you ever risk otherwise' gameplay.
There's also a lot of fighting, and in my experience mounted combat is almost never good in any game that attempts it - especially if said game (like Conan Exiles) has a robust system of combos and dodging/blocking for normal combat, but mounted combat basically has to boil down to wildly swinging your weapon while also trying to maneuver around and both HIT the enemy and also not get hit BY the enemy. Seriously, the only game that I've played that did mounted combat RIGHT was Assassin's Creed Origins, because there were also mounted enemies everywhere, the horse was very easy to maneuver, and you got different weapon animations on horseback so you didn't have to deal with weird hitbox issues while trying to flail your weapon around blindly like an idiot. Also your horse actually did trample damage instead of ghosting through anything that crossed its hooves. Rant aside, I feel like it's the kind of game that was so thoroughly designed WITHOUT mounts in mind that having mounts would only make it feel weird, and running barefoot across the sand is an inherent part of the experience.
What I was going to say before I went off on a tangent was that combat in ARK - because you rely so heavily on your mounts - basically boils down to 'one button to chomp, one button to stomp'. If you're lucky the dino may even have a THIRD type of chomp/stomp/tail whip. It's very much a mash-attack-to-win affair where the stats of your creature matter more than your actual skill, which, to be fair, it's a game where breeding creatures with ideal stats IS part of the appeal so that's fine. But it can get a little boring to just go around on a rex and kill anything with a few chomps, where your only other 'ability' is a roar that's basically just cosmetic and has no special function.
Conan Exiles' combat is more of an actual feature of the game than a simple consequence of 'needing' to be able to hunt and kill things for the sake of survival and resource gathering. It's all about mixing up your light and heavy combos, of which different weapons have different types and also attack speeds. Different weapons may also have different abilities, like inflicting bleeding damage or slowing your enemy down. Which weapon you choose can come down to personal preference or experience, or it could be situational depending on where you're going and what you're planning to fight. For the first half of my playtime I basically stuck to dual-wielding daggers (dat bleed damage) but reached a point where I wanted something one-handed so I could use a shield and block arrows, or hold a torch when delving into caves and other dark places and still see what was attacking me. So I picked up an axe off a dead enemy and, despite being a lower tier than my steel daggers, was doing WAY more damage. Suddenly I felt like a God, mowing down an entire pirate ship full of enemies effortlessly when before I'd have to dodge out of the way long enough to eat some food and recover my health a bit while the bleeding damage slowly ticked away at them. From what I've read online, two-handed swords or pikes are 'the best' weapons, but I'm quite happy with my axe and my shield, and it makes me feel very fittingly barbarian-y as I hack my enemies to pieces, see them driven before me, and yadda yadda that one famous Conan quote.
As far as story progression and whatnot goes, I've only done the first dungeon and basically I'm just running around capturing thralls, pets, and looking for cool locations to build stuff. While I do think it's neat that the game has an actual 'progression' and a conclusive ending, I'm not too worried about it because that's not the reason I (or assumedly most people) play games like this. I'll probably get to it eventually...then again, I had more than 1000 hours in ARK before I fought a boss for the first time, so we'll see. I'm already starting to get a bit bored with singleplayer since I've started abusing my admin powers a bit too much, so I'd like to look for a decent server soon that's got some of the mods I like, but also won't force me into roleplaying with strangers. Ideally I'd love to be able to play with friends, but I don't know if any of my ARK friends would like it because it lacks the dinosaur appeal...so I might just have to venture off into the world by myself and...ugh. Talk to people, I guess.
Either way I am having fun, and I can see myself probably coming back to it when I just wanna chill out and BUILD something, much like I do in ARK.
#sg2 plays video games#sg2's game reviews#now to figure out how to boil down these term paper essay tier reviews into something more fit for a twitter thread#usually I just write these for my own archival purposes anyway so it's not like I expect anyone to bother reading them#but I just can't be satisfied letting the images speak for themselves and I don't know how to NOT ramble and overshare about my experiences
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It’s here! At last! THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES, WITH:
AKA IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? YES. YES IT IS.
(or it was at any rate, it took me Some Time to get this all typed up because holy fuck it’s long. looks like i’ve got Some Feelings about The Winter Soldier. WHO KNEW)
ANYWAY, if you’re wondering what the hell this is all about i’ve been rewatching all the marvel movies (and commentating on them) in preparation for Avengers: Endgame and NOW IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ONE
I got @goteamwin and @pegasuschick here IT’S A PARTY! WE GOT COOL RANCH DORITOS AND BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS LET’S DO THIS.
Day 912: i still miss the old marvel logo
LISTEN THIS IS THE BEST OPENING SCENE IN MARVEL HISTORY FIGHT ME.
“~on your left ;)~” honestly? iconic.
God Bless Steven Grant Rogers and his Smedium Shirts.
Steve, known bisexual disaster, is hitting on Sam here. this isn’t even in question, right? Sam’s quip about “making me look good to the girl at the front desk” was a soft rejection and Steve takes it like a champ.
Important to note: the black widow uses emojis in her text messages.
Also important to note: Sam Wilson hits on the Black Widow because he flies into combat at 100 miles per hour wearing a tee-shirt and dad jeans he fears nothing not even death itself
also also important to note that The Roommate went to see this movie by herself, low key cosplaying as Fem!Cap. she did this in part because I had gone to see it first (i was in the UK at the time, and it came out over there before it came out in the US. ~IRONY~) and as soon as I got back from seeing it (i had low-key cosplayed as fem!Hawkeye. it’s a long story) I emailed her and was like O HAI U SEEN DIS? U WILL LIKE IT. ~and she dii-iiiiiid.~
every time i see this scene now, i hear that bit from the gag real.
cevans: Kill the engines. wait for instructions. *whining and stamping his foot* cuz i’m in chaaaaaaaarge.
Being asked about your dating life and then immediately jumping out of an airplane is a Big Mood
I would like us all to appreciate that steve put a nice matte stealth finish on his patriotic dinner plate, special for this mission.
Also, we’re all agreed that Steve kills at pool, yeah? Give me Steve being a pool shark at the local watering hole plz n thank.
Steve: *punches a guy through the shield*
The Roommate: but why does he punch that guy through the shield?
Me, having a Terrible Thought: Maybe one time he accidentally punched through a guy’s face and ever since then he uses the shield as, like, a buffer when he wants to take people alive.
The Gal Pal: WOW. YOU WENT THERE.
parkour!
~Hey Sailor ;)~
that one guy working for Batroc really needs to lay off the steroids, or whatever is giving him this Unnecessary Rage. You know the guy I mean.
love how batroc is jchilling and then WHAM! IT IS I! AMERICA!
ON! VA! VOIR!
did he learn this from Dernier? he learned this from Dernier.
The Gal Pal: that is a ridiculously huge flash drive
Me, Just Now: overcompensate much?
Nat’s little eyeroll after Steve says “you’re damn right”
The Roommate: Nat is So Tired of Steve’s Drama™. And now she’s going to have to deal with his cold shoulder the whole flight back, and she’s going to have no one to talk to but Rumlow and uggghhhhhh
Steve comes into Fury's office and Damn. Dat Ass.
The Roommate: They know what they're doing here.
eyyyyyy tony’s in this movie (kinda)
I love that Steve just like, drives around with the shield on his back.
Enter The Smithsonian.
The Roommate: I! LOVE! THIS! SO! MUUUUUUCH!!!
Me: Gee sure would be nice to be able to go to a smithsonian right now.
*american sobbing intensifies*
The Roommate: what is the timeline here? does he come straight back from the mission into yelling at fury? and then straight here?? Is Steve just like “oop time to go look at my old stuff and Emote”? Is this his routine??
buckyyyyyyyyyyy
listen yall know the extent of my BuckRogers feels but every time they pull out that compass i develop a terrible case of The Steggies.
“It’s just not the same” ha ha kill me.
~So Dramatic ;)~
“Steve?” HA HA HA KILL ME
Fury’s Computer:
At This Juncture The Commentators Would Like It Noted That It Has Been 23 Solid Minutes of Stuff We 1000% L O V E and everyone’s favorite brainwashee has not even appeared yet.
but he’s coming
s o o n
Also, we all hate Alexander Pierce but he is a great villain and also Robert Redford might be an older fella but he can definitely still get it heyooo
Steve is so awkward here. But like, imagine him actually going to one of these VA things, like everyone’s all “ied this, helicopter that” and steve’s just like “so one time in ‘44 i punched my way into a panzer”
The Roommate, Who Is Sometimes More Evil Than Me: ~NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME TO REMEMBER THAT RILEY WASN’T IN A PLAAAAAANE~
at this moment, the DC driving types lost their goddamn minds.
“WHAT IS THIS? WHERE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHERE, IN WASHINGTION, THE DISTRICT OF GODDAMN COLUMBIA, IS THERE THIS LITTLE TRAFFIC, HUH??”
“You wanna see my lease?” i c o n i c.
Did you know that SLJ was an actual Black Panther? I did not know this, but as soon as the Gal Pal told me, i was like “oh yeah that checks out.”
meanwhile, the couch based road rage continued all around me.
“This part of DC ~DOES NOT EXIIIIIIIIIIIIST~”
“Traffic alert? on the Roosevelt Bridge? Yeah in other news WATER IS WET.”
“wait is he getting on 66? ARE YOU GETTING ON 66?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???”
“Have you ever even been on 495?????”
HE’S HERE!!!
just like, damn gurl, u make that highway ur catwalk.
Me: What the hell kind of laser pointer do you have there, Nick?
The Gal Pal & The Roommate: It’s A Lightsaber.
The Roommate: So is this just like? An Average Day In The Life Of Captain Rogers? Get up, go for a run, annoy a veteran, fly to the other side of the world, kick ass, fly home, talk back to a superior officer, drop my priceless shield off at home, go emote at a smithsonian exhibit, have my heart ripped out by my nonagenarian ex, go flirt with annoy a veteran (part two, now with added Feelings™) go home, get rejected by my neighbor, CHASE A FUGITIVE.
JUST ANOTHER DAY! IN THE LIFE OF STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!
honestly his neighbors must hate him
that’s why Sharon’s his neighbor, everyone else LEFT.
The Biggest Flash Drive
Let’s Not Forget, that because she is undercover as a nurse, Sharon probably just kicked that door down with crocs.
YOU’RE WELCOME
let’s appreciate that the Soldier’s theme music is just SCREAMING and also you should know that every time it comes on, the Gal Pal and I start SCREAMING. not, like, in an “oh we’re excited” way, just, like, the way you sing along to the theme song of your favorite TV show, you know?
PARKOUR!
The Roommate: good job with your eyeliner there, buddy. You Did Your Best.
The Gal Pal: That Is Dupont Circle and Steve is Extremely Gay.
(yes, we know he’s bi.)
Natasha really should know better than to believe that Nick is dead.
THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO HIDE THE FLASH DRIVE
The Gal Pal: genuinely, it’s such a bad hiding place it stresses me out.
The Roommate: Yeah, what was he thinking? I mean, was his logic just that no one likes that gross bubblegum?
Me: UM WHAT?
The Gal Pal: EXCUSE YOU THAT IS BUBBLE YUM.
The Roommate: ... yeah but it’s the gross bubblegum flavor?
At this point we lost a few minutes to divide into Pro and Anti Bubblegum Camps and then had to run the movie back because we missed:
~Neighbor ;)~
i c o n i c
The Roommate: Sir. Stop Having That Face. That is Illegal.
(she is having A Difficulty. The Difficulty is cevans’ jawline)
But seriously: What actually happens in this scene? We are all Steve and we all want to punch our way out of this confusing conversation.
God that face/those tits/that ass tho
Young Man. You Stop That.
THE ELEVATOR SCENE. I mean how many movies can say that some of their best scenes happen in an elevator? That alone is a real accomplishment.
They’re all ~soooo casual~ and then there’s rollins, who isn’t even trying. “records.” These WWE wrestlers are not going to records, come on.
at this point we stopped commentating except in inarticulate whoops of delight and shrieks of glee. except for one brief aside
Me: This scene is so sexy, but like, not in a sexy way? Like, the fighting style isn’t that “oooo I’m fighting in a sexy way” it’s just, it’s so...!
The Roommate: Primal?
and I regret to inform you all that yes, she is 100% Correct, it is indeed sexy in a primal way.
“whoa big guy”
i just.
that’s all i got on that
tiny turtle of freedom
we had the subtitles on, and it just says “woman screams” Screams in what? JOY?
It’s raining men! Hallelujah!
“Stand down, Captain Rogers! Stand! Down!
Captain Rogers: *accelerates*
They’re being made to watch social media so what I want to know is which poor SHIELD guy got stuck monitoring tumblr?
“oh we’re getting all kinds of hits but uhhhhhhhhh they’re not......... pertinent..............”
why doesn’t The Biggest Flash Drive have a cap? it is now full of crumbs. it’s full of crumbs, guys. if it’s going to be that big it should at least be one of those cool slider ones.
“Are you calling for my resignation? do you know who i am? Bitch I Am Robert Redford.”
Apple Store Aaron. “hey guys why’s your flash drive so big??”
“yeeeah. we’re getting married.”
Honeymoon destinations -- where are you going?
Steve: (without thinking, reads the first thing he sees) New Jersey
Steve: *dies a little inside*
Steve: *forgive me bucky for i have sinned*
I love that they’re coming out and Steve is 100% tactical brain and then Nat’s just like “put your arm around me and laugh” and when it works Steve just looks back over his shoulder like:
oh my god it worked???
sPyING is WitCHCraFT?????
“was that your first kiss since 1945?”
“That was not my first kiss since 1945,” said Steven Grant Rogers, Who Is Definitely Lying, and Furthermore, Is Fooling Exactly No One.
Sidenote: Ship and let ship, obviously and always, but I love Steve and Nat as BROS too much to ever see them romantically, The Bromance Is Strong With Them.
it’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again
Steve: kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.
Bucky, ten minutes later, wearing bondage gear: HELLO IT IS I
SKINNY STEVE!
of course he memorized the army regulations.
Listen. The cell phone trick Bugs Me™ and the only thing that lets me get through it is the idea that they cleverly cut around natasha standing there for 40 minutes trying out every possible permutation of those numbers, with possible duplications.
I like the idea that Computer!Zola has been building this little fanvideo since the mid-seventies and he’s just! so excited! to show it to someone!
Steve punching the screen is another Big Mood.
“even captain america and the black widow can’t survive a missile Directly To The Face” BITCH U THOUGHT
it’s nice that they give bucko a kirk light here
~u want some milk? ;)~
honestly, what the fuck even is that line.
they made Robert Redford say that line.
what does it mean
YOUNG MAN! THAT IS! ILLEGAL!
altho tbh i want a slightly grubby Steve in a tank top to give me a pep talk, like, every day. that would be fine.
The Gal Pal, A Curly Haired Individual: hhhhhhhow did Natasha straighten her hair. This makes me So Angry.
Me: I mean, I like to imagine her with Sam’s Iron and ironing board, just like *mimes frantically ironing hair with a Very Soviet Expression*
Fort Meade is the best scene that isn’t in the movie.
Aw Gary Shandling’s here. Awwwww Gary Shandling...
Sam, are you intimidating this guy or flirting with him?
To Those who remember the Potato/Gremlin Scale, I propose a third option, a kind of venn diagram situation going on, where the third option is Fey Creature. Sam is neither Potato nor gremlin, but he might be a Fey Creature.
God I love this scene.
LOOK AT SAM HERE: No armor, no flightsuit, no fucking knee pads no goddamn helmet just Casual Dad Falcon, Suns Out Guns Out.
Steve: What the fuck’s an SAT.
he’s coming.
*SCREAMING*
he’s here.
is it murder or is he modeling?? “you got this Soldier, make ‘em wait for it... Boom.”
this is the greatest fight scene of all time, honestly. This and then the fight scene in the first RDJ holmes movie are the Only fight scenes i can even remotely stand to watch. Except maybe some of the bending battles in ATLA. but this scene. this is top of the list. it’s just. *kissy chef fingers*
Soldier strolling along not firing his weapon because he has no shot and he is a Child of the Depression who don’t waste no bullets.
only loses his cool when Widow Breaks his stuff.
Sam Wilson: Brings a pocket knife to an automatic rifle fight and wins.
“go, I got this!”
aw yeah you do
THAT STRUT™
Soldier strolling along the street. so bored. could be home watching project runway.
That thing Soldier does with the arm Does Things to me for reasons that I choose not to examine too closely
ANYWAY WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.
“who the hell is bucky” wow there Soldier you went from Full Russian to American Accented English awfully quick I Wonder Why
Soldier’s reaction to confusion is to Immediately Shoot and honestly that’s a Big Mood.
We are all agreed that the only reason SHIELD succeeds in taking Steve in is because
look at that face
steve’s not here right now, please leave a message.
More DC Area Rage: “WHERE IS THIS DAM? WHERE??”
natasha y r u surprised that Fury is alive?
oh noooooooooooo it’s time for this scene
OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO
Robert Redford to James Buchanan Barnes: You are a literal treasure.
OH NO OH NO OH NO
The Roommate: yeahhhhh this was maybe an. inappropriate scene for me to have to see in a theater. alone.
I love that while they’re making this ridiculous plan (yeah it’s ridiculous, i don’t care) Fury has to check in with Sam (WHO HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE) presumably to just touch base and be like “Is this White Nonsense™?”
spoiler alert it is not White Nonsense™, but it definitely is Extra™
DAT JAWLINE THO. of course he’s giving the orders, LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE
LIL STEEB!
I’m with you to the end of the line.
what kind of marriage vow nonsense is that
jesus.
anyway, Sam comes in like: IT IS I! YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ME NOW!
poooterrrr!!
This is the second secure government facility that they have broken into. Possibly the third, depending whether you count the bunker.
Dem Asses. Seriously. Everyone in this shot has an enviable ass. *distinguished golf clapping* bravo
“~Excuse us~” i c o n i c
God, Steve gives this speech and then we get sam’s reaction and you can physically see him having a sexual identity crisis and honestly BIG MOOD THERE, SAM
I have questions about the effect of this on the potomac river which has already had a hard enough time and does not deserve this Supervillain Nonsense.
you are ON FOOT steven. it is a FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER and you are ON! FOOT!
i’m so mad that it works too
mad, but like, also turned on. duh.
what’s cap’s true superpower? DRAMA
The saddest thing in this movie is that Jenny Agutter is Scarlet Johansson
don’t get me wrong, i like scarjo but this movie would’ve been even better if it wasn’t the black widow and was just a badass old british lady.
The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the sane one.
Me: He flies into combat at 100 miles per hour with a jet pack and a tee shirt he is not the sane one.
The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the emotionally balanced one?
Me: given the aforementioned armorless airborne combat situation that is highly fucking debatable my dude.
*SCREAMING*
HE’S HERE
let’s appreciate that Bucky is definitely flying this quinjet with a dead guy that he just murdered as his copilot.
i don’t know why that is so badass to me but it is
again, we don’t have time to unpack all of that, moving on.
Nick Fury: BITCH YOU THOUGHT
sidenote: i’m gonna really enjoy coming back to this movie after Captain Marvel. I can just feel it.
Maria is so casual about this. And that is an extremely sexy thing. I’m not sorry.
“Hey Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.”
Sam is still learning Rogersese and does not know that this means “I ALREADY DID THE STUPID THING PLEASE COME GET ME.”
Bucky ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly
because Sam IS a beautiful butterfly.
except now his knees and legs and ankles are all broken because That’s How Bones Work.
he’s here
lol of course he’s got a knife.
I just love the sounds the arm makes.
butwedon’thavetimetounpackallofthat
the slide Bucky does here, this isn’t combat this is voguing.
Steve fights like the world is his barroom, bucky fights like the world is his catwalk.
“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT,” Nicholas J Fury
what’s the found family version of a BroTP? I have that for Dad!Nick and Adopted!Soviet!Assassin!Daughter!Natasha.
found familotp? FFOTP? no, that sounds like some kind of tactical asset. “LAUNCH THE FFOTP”
anyway, get on this tumblr, i want at least 10 options on my desk by monday.
This Extra. He could honestly make a living playing Confederates and Klansmen, you know which extra I mean.
“wHere ahre the tahrgets?”
the targets... is we.
A DC Local Aside: Everyone on 495 is So Tired of this nonsense. I sincerely hope they all remembered to pee before they left work. I hope they have snacks and water in their cars. because they now live on 495.
this shitshow is gonna fuck up our already extremely fucked up traffic patterns for yeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss
Sam’s a born quipper, so i really like it when he sees the helicarrier coming down and just fucking bolts. NO TIME FOR SASS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE
“Got a location on Rogers?”
Don’t know where he is, but he’s doing something stupid, i Guarantee It.
“you know me.”
“nNOo I dOn’T!”
Oh Steve. You put that shield down So Often. And you keep having to fucking pick it up a-fucking-gain.
And This Was The Moment When We All Realized That We Were In Trouble.
Big Mood, Bucky. Big Mood.
Sam wasn’t on the approved visitor’s list or anything, he just winked at one (1) nurse and they let him in.
i know just what to say it’ll annoy him so fucking much. “on your left.”
“Why haven’t we heard from Captain Rogers?”
Because he is taking a damn nap.
no but seriously, because if we put him in front of a camera right now, you will get the Talking To of the Century.
*eight hours later, congress is crying, hydra has surrendered, fox news is shutting down, steve rogers is still going strong* “AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT DEBT!”
~cool guys don’t look at congressional meltdowns. They drop the mic and they walk away~
IT WAS CLEVELAND, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.
THEY FILMED IN CLEVELAND.
(they did film some in DC, obviously, but also cleveland.
*emoting at exhibits intensifies*
*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
in sum i have been typing for Too Long and I’m going to hit post so i can Go To Bed but there may need to be Corrections in the morning who tf knows
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Stats and Skills
Stats Meme
Repost or reblog with your character’s Info!
Key = ●◌ Example: (●●●●●●●◌◌◌◌ - Sneak)
Combat
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ◌◌ - Athletics
● ● ● ● ● ● ◌◌◌◌◌ - Long Blade
● ● ● ● ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Two-Handed Weapons
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ◌ ◌ - Short Blade
●●◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Spear
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ◌◌◌◌ - Unarmed
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ◌◌ - Block/Parry
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ◌ - Medium Armor
◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Heavy Armor
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Archery
Stealth
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ◌◌ - Acrobatics
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌ - Sneak
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌ - Security (Lockpicking)
◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Pickpocketing
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Light Armor
●●● ● ● ● ● ● ◌◌◌ - Marksmanship (Throwing knives, stars, etc.)
Magic
●●●●●●◌◌◌◌◌ - Alteration
●●● ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌ - Conjuration
●●●●● ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ - Destruction
●●●●●●●●● ● ● - Illusion
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌◌ - Restoration
●●●●●● ● ● ● ● ● - Enchanting
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Mysticism
Other
● ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌◌ - Blacksmithing (he can sharpen and maintain a blade)
●●●● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● - Speechcraft
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Alchemy
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌ - Mercantile
◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌◌◌◌◌◌ - Other
Elaboration beneath the cut:
Athletics: Talasse is a daedra. His body is inherently magical an draws energy from another plane. While sleep and sustenance keep him up and running, he can go far beyond what a mortal should.
Long Blade/Two-handers: Talasse, being ancient, has spent enough time to become proficient in long swords and bastard/two handed swords,
Short Blade/Parry: Talasse’s weapons of choice are a parry dagger and a short sword. He’s spent several hundred years training with that.
Medium Armor: He thinks he looks good in leather, and the padded armor provides enough deflection while allowing for movement.
Unarmed: he’s particularly skilled in disarming. This extends to unarmed combat.
Acrobatics: PARKOUR
Marksmanship: part of his arsenal is knife throwing.
Magic: all of his magic works together to benefit his illusions except for conjuration. He uses conjuration solely to summon weaponry. Illusion/conjuration weaving for practice weapons.
Speechcraft: This boy has lawyler level skills of bullshitting and contract writing. That’s about it, but by god is he good at it.
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