#everything comes out teenage petulance?? fuck it if i can't have him i might just die it would make no difference??
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the tortured poets department is so bella swan coded actually
#except for so high school which is clearly about rose and emmett. no I will not accept any constructive criticism#but like. 'show me that this world is bigger than us then sent me back where I came from' is sooooo new moon#everything comes out teenage petulance fuck it if I can't have him I might just die it would make no difference#IN A FIELD IN MY SANE OLD TOWN THAT SOMEHOW SEEMS SO HOLLOW NOW#bellaaaaaaa#twilight#taylor swift#ttpd#*same obvs#my post
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the MAJOR "lux waking up in the middle of the football field and realizing that trip left her alone all night after having sex with her"
#did you take all my old clother just to leave here naked and alone in a field in my same old town?????#everything comes out teenage petulance?? fuck it if i can't have him i might just die it would make no difference??#the virgin suicides#lux libson#the tortured poets department#Spotify
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too sweet, part 14
if you're drunk on life
series master list
liked by edwards.73 and others
yourusername: as taylor swift said "now i'm down bad"
taylorrose: pretty sure miss taylor meant it in a different way
yourusername: potato po-tot-to
taylorrose: i can't with you
lhughes_06: please we need jump scare warnings for all these photos of you making out with your boyfriend
jackhughes: fr it's nasty
_quinnhughes: ^ agree
yourusername: you guys act like kindergarteners
trevorzegras: crying at the gym?
yourusername: everything comes out teenage petulance?
trevorzegras: fuck it if you can't have him?
yourusername: i might just die. it would make no difference
trevorzegras: down bad waking up in blood?
yourusername: staring at the sky come back
trevorzegras: come back and pick me up?
yourusername: fuck it if I can't have us
trevorzegras: you might just not get up?
yourusername: ur my fav idk why Quinn hates you
trevorzegras: me neither I'm amazing
yourusername: FR quinn is just a hater
_quinnhughes: I can read your comments
yourusername: you can read??
_quinnhughes: brat
dylanduke25: you two are disgusting
rutgermcgroarty: ^ we have to see the making out in person and now it's on Instagram too. despicable.
yourusername: despicable? That's a big word for you rut
edwards.73: did someone put extra sass in your coffee today?
yourusername: probably
username24: please are we just ignoring y/n and trevor's thread?
username35: fr it's so funny
username62: their friendship is adorable
liked by taylorrose and others
yourusername: are you ready for it?
taylorrose: on a taylor kick are we?
yourusername: we love queen taylor here
yoursername: also she has lyrics that make good captions
yourusername: including this lovely foreshadow-y one
taylorrose: mhm and what are we foreshadowing
yourusername: 😏😈👩🏻❤️💋👨🏻
dylanduke25: this better be about what I think it's about
markestapa: for real
rutgermcgroarty: it's been way too long for it to not
edwards.73: no i don't think i am
yourusername: too bad so sad
username24: i stg this better be about a hard launch or i'm going to lose it
username56: facts i'm already losing it
username44: we've been waiting for months
username35: we all know I just want the confirmation and the CONTENT
tags: @jdjgasidkgdf@bunbunbl0gs@love4ldr@lilasianmeat
#ethan edwards#rutger mcgroarty#jack hughes#luke hughes#quinn hughes#trevor zegras#ethan edwards x y/n#umich hockey#ethan edwards x reader#mark estapa#luca fantilli#dylan duke#nhl hockey#nhl imagine
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now i'm down bad crying at the gym everything comes out teenage petulance fuck it if i can't have him i might just die it would make no difference down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky come back and pick me up fuck it if i can't have us i might just not get up i might stay down bad. FUCK IT IF I CAN'T HAVE HIM
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✧˖°. 𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐞, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
masterlist | home | rules
contains: a daughter of aphrodite panicking over our favorite white boy. and vise versa (jason grace x daughter of aphrodite!reader)
warnings: shitty ass writing, language, use of yn, and CRINGE. it's pretty bad, read at your own risk ⚠️
author's note: first fic! also, its probably gonna be bad (because i'm a shit writer 😃) im SO sorry about all the cuts! i cannot write. [send in requests y'all!] ALSO if you see any incorrections, no you didn't.
special mentions: thank you so much @canonfeminine for helping me come up with the joke percy says and @hopelesslyromanticshark because i kinda stole her formatting and her amazing advice (love ya coves!)
final word count: 2,098 words
now playing 𓏧 down bad by taylor swift
jason grace was walking outside cabin 13 when he heard you tweaking.
it was only 11am and it sounded like you had been up all night.
"y'all, you know that one song from taylor's new album? down bad? that's so me about superman." you sighed, "i don't even think he cares about me. not even a little."
"now i'm down bad, crying at the gym. everything comes out teenage petulance. fuck it if i can't have him. i might just die, it'd make no difference." you sang under your breath.
jason peeked in the cabin. he saw you hanging off hazel's bed upside down, piper was on the floor painting her nails, while annabeth was sitting in an armchair, reading, and hazel was at her desk, writing a letter to chiron about why they should have state of the art, gold-plated horse feed. they were only in the hades cabin because nico was with will in the infirmary. (awww <3)
"ma'am, we know all of this before. you never shut about hi-" piper began.
"SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP BEFORE I SHOVE A FOOT DOWN YOUR THROAT."
annabeth made a condescending mom face. "yn," she said gently. "maybe you should go to sleep."
you just glared at her until she looked back at her book (rolling her eyes).
"maybe he does like me! he just doesn't know it yet." you triumphantly said.
piper snorted. you got up, and whacked her with your pillow until she fell over.
"ok, geez, i get it. cough cough bitch." piper um-coughed out.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME? SAYS THE WHORE!"
hazel finally looked up, innocently, from her crazy letter, "ok, girls, let's calm down?"
you and piper obliged, scowling at each other.
"anyway, bACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING. maybe he is in love with me, he just doesn't fucking know it yet!"
"wait, isn't superman jaso-"
"BITCH SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I GO TO THE DAMNED CABIN AND GET THE FUCKING DUCT TAPE. you don't know who the fuck is lurking."
jason took that as his cue to get the fuck out of there.
our favorite white boy RAN to his boys.
he gathered them in percy's cabin. "guys, i just overheard something."
"what? that the superman theme song plays wherever you go?” percy snickered.
while percy and leo... snort-laughed, frank actually asked what happened.
"basically, i was walking past cabin 13 and the girls were in there, right? so i overhear yn saying something about 'superman' and how this song -down bad i think?- relates to them or something."
suddenly all the boys had their thinking faces on.
"what if she's in love with the actor of superman?" frank suggested.
leo had this eerie look on his face. "grow a couple of brain-cells chinese canadian baby man. she's in love with jason."
everyone just looked at leo. "ok, think about it. who the fuck else flies here? only jason. who else flies? superman."
jason thought about it. "that would make sense since piper was about to say my name when yn cut her off-"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAD WITH THAT???"
"i didn't think that yn would ever like me back." he said matter-of-factly.
to be fair, jason had a crush on you since he arrived at camp. you were so pretty but you were so lively too. your personality was bright and radiant and maybe a bit crazy. just a bit though. but in a good way!
you just radiated positivity as if you were the sun. to him you could've been.
jason didn't realize he zoned out until leo was about to shove a shoe in his mouth.
"LEO?! WHAT THE FLIP ARE YOU DOING?!"
"oh i got him back guys! you like... died." leo said.
"so you were going to resuscitate me by shoving a shoe in my mouth?"
"yeah, basically!"
jason didn't know what to say to that so he didn't say anything!
"can we get back on track?"
"yes," percy answered. "we shall."
"first things first, we already know that you love yn so much from the bottom of your heart. but how are you going to tell her?" frank asked.
jason was at a loss.
"don't worry, i'll sleep on it."
"hey sparky!" you exclaim.
"oh h-hey yn." you side-eyed him, wondering if he heard your gods-awful conversation yesterday.
then you slapped yourself. (mentally?) of course he wouldn't do that! he's your sweet little superman who you are hopelessly in love with!
"do you wanna race to the top of the lava wall with me? don't be shy, you always lose!" you asked.
"um, i don't think i can today yn, sorry."
you were a little lot disappointed. you just really liked him and he fucking rejects you??? what if you tell him how you feel and he doesn't feel the same way? what if you become the laughing-stalk of camp? “k, bye jase.”
after he left you sprinted to your girls.
"BITCHES, CODE RED. WHO HAS AN EMPTY CABIN?"
hazel slowly raised her hand. "just don't mess it up again. if piper doesn't want your foot in her face, don't put it in her goddamn face. ok?"
you scowled at her before sprinting to hazel’s cabin.
you guys took your seats from yesterday.
“JASON WAS ACTING FUCKING WEIIIIRD THIS MORNING.” you glared at piper.
“what the- wHY ARE YOU GUYS LOOKING AT ME?!” piper screeched.
annabeth spoke up, “you were the one who practically said jason’s name.”
“annie. you just said it. SUPERMAN ONLY BITCHES.” you said.
“what if that did happen?” hazel asked. “he’s not a pretty, perfect, goody-two-shoes princess? like you think he is. ”
“YES HE IS SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH HAZEL.”
annabeth, piper, and hazel all just looked at each other, tired with your shit.
“I CAME HERE FOR HELP, NOT THE BITCHY JUDGING COUNCIL!”
"i think she's onto me." jason said to his little boy band.
percy looked up from his game of chess with frank and stroked his chin, "why may that be?"
jason scratched his neck sheepishly, "um, she, like side-eyed me?”
“this is yn we’re talking about. she side-eyes everybody.” leo said.
“BUT NOT ME!” jason panicked.
frank tsked at percy, “what move you gonna make?”
“oh, shut it frank. i’m invested. what else did yn say?”
“i… don’t remember.”
all the boys collectively looked at him.
“I WAS NERVOUS! WHAT IF-”
“SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH!” leo exclaimed. “we need a fucking plan.”
“do you have a plan leo?” frank asked.
“i actually do, frank. gather round children.”
after some meticulous planning, and a couple phone calls, a plan was set.
a prom dress, a boom box, and taylor swift.
exciting right?
it was two days after that stupid conversation (that jason totally didn't overhear).
annabeth, piper and hazel came to drag you from your seat at the docks where you were reading an angsty romance (like the sad emo girl you were after being rejected by the love of your life).
"what the fuck do you whores want?"
"ok rude," annabeth replied, "but you have to come with us."
"we have something exciting for you!" hazel said enthusiastically.
you looked at hazel, "haze, 'excitement', does not exist for me anymore. ever since the love of my goddamned life rejected me- "
piper cut you off, "ok shut up yn. first of all, he didn't even reject you. he just said he can't climb the lava wall with you. just come with us. please don't make a big deal about it."
you looked at the girls suspiciously, "what's in it for me?"
the girls shared a look, "that's a secret. but believe me, everything's in it for you."
"i look like a fucking bratz doll!" you screeched.
"ok, so?" piper replied. "I DON'T WANNA LOOK LIKE A DOLL THAT GOT BOTCHED PLASTIC SURGERY!"
piper was doing and messing up your makeup while annabeth and hazel were looking for a good outfit.
"also miss bitchy," you said, "why am i wearing this much makeup? and why is annabeth and hazel trying so hard to find an outfit?"
piper could see that you were clearly becoming suspicious. she just gave you a small (knowing) smile, "oh don't worry about it sweet."
you were about to jump her when hazel and annabeth came holding ... a prom dress and two inch heels?
“are you shitting me? what the fuck is this?” you asked.
“yn, just put it the fuck on! no. arguments. ” piper said.
you weren’t someone to refuse looking good. (even if piper messed up your makeup.) “fine, but i’m watching y’all.”
they nodded while you went to the bathroom to change.
you came out and hazel to do the back. “ok, how do i look?” you asked, deadpan.
“yn! you look stunning!” hazel exclaimed.
you looked decent. you had an old prom dress that the aphrodite cabin just happened to have and slightly crusty heels.
“this will definitely work. he’ll be drooling all over her.” piper said to annabeth.
you were so confused, what the fuck is happening?
"excuse me? what's going on? cause i am about to shit my pants." you said.
annabeth, hazel, and piper just looked at each other and said, "don't worry about it dear." and burst out laughing. (about what? that wasn't even funny???)
suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"oh my fucking gods, who is it?!" you shout.
piper looked at you. "chill," she opened the door, "hey leo."
"why is leo here?!" she ignored you! leo pulled her outside, when she came back she nodded to annabeth and hazel.
"ok yn! time for your surprise!" hazel said, knowingly.
then, hazel blindfolded you, annabeth and piper grabbed your legs, while leo grabbed your arms. while you were screaming to satan.
next, y'all went on your merry way going gods-know-where!
suddenly you were dropped straight on the fucking ground so hard your ass hurt and all your bindings slipped off.
you were in the middle of the fucking woods. and you could distantaly hear hazel, piper, leo and annabeth running away.
really where you were dropped was gorgeous. you were at a clearing in the middle of the woods. it was around sunset so everything was lit up with the golden sunlight streaming through the leaves. you could hear the faint sound of a creek in the distance.
all of sudden you heard footsteps. you got up of your ass and cursed under your breath when you realized you have no knifes because somebody took them from you.
you turned toward the sound when you saw him.
jason, all dressed up in a matching suit.
"oh, h-hi jason. whatcha doing here?"
"oh, just waiting for a pretty girl so i can give her a dance."
you looked around confusedly. "jase, i think you went the wrong way. all the pretty girls are back at camp."
he chuckled, then pulled a boombox from his ass. "would you give me this dance milady?"
you were so so so baffled. what was happening? but your heart belonged to him. "um, sure?"
he clicked play on the boombox and 'you belong with me' by taylor swift started playing. he grabbed your hands and placed them on his shoulders. (TRUST ok? they're waltzing to "you belong with me", but its fine.
you felt like your heart was going a million miles a second but in slow motion at the same time. you were panicking but you felt so content.
the bridge was playing and you realized how much the song relates to you and jason.
you guys were best friends before you something happened two days ago.
y'all knew each other better than the back of your hand.
he would bring you ice cream when you were on your period and when you weren't.
anytime he had to go on a quest without you he brought you souvenirs.
you told each other about your crazy dreams. like when elmo was chasing you down rodeo drive.
the song ended.
"i-" you looked up.
"um-" jason cut you off.
"you go first." you were terrified, your heart pounding in your chest.
"well, i've had the biggest crush on you, yn. since i arrived, really-"
you cut him off, pulling his mouth to your own.
you were in euphoria for a minute until you both pulled away.
"soooo?" you were giddy, "what now?"
jason looked thoroughly confused, you were too. "i don't know but we'll get through it together."
your cold heart melted a little at that.
"i have a question," you asked, walking away. "did you have a crush only because of my fat ass?"
"oh my gods, yn!"
author's note: so yeah um... there it is. it sucks, i kinda hate it but i thought it was a good idea and i wanted to start writing.
#dividers by bunnysrph#⊹₊ ⋆ may’s creations#jason grace x reader#jason grace x aphrodite!reader#daughter of aphrodite
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taylor swift lyrics, the tortured poets department edition, part one
fortnight
▸ i was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me.
▸ i was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic.
▸ no one here's to blame but what about your quiet treason?
▸ for a fortnight there, we were forever.
▸ i took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary.
▸ i love you, it's ruining my life.
▸ thought of calling you but you won't pick up.
the tortured poets department
▸ who uses typewriters anyway?
▸ you're in self-sabotage mode.
▸ we're modern idiots.
▸ you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate.
▸ i chose this cyclone with you.
▸ sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.
▸ so tell me, who else is gonna know me?
▸ that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.
my boy only breaks his favorite toys
▸ you should've seen them when they first got me.
▸ i only break my favourite toys.
▸ i should've known it was a matter of time.
▸ we could've played for keeps this time.
▸ i know i'm just repeating myself. put me back on my shelf.
▸ i'll tell you that [you/they] run because [you/they] love me.
▸ i knew too much.
▸ you saw forever so you smashed it up.
▸ once i fix me, you're gonna miss me.
▸ you took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts and told me i'm better off but i'm not.
down bad
▸ for a moment, i knew cosmic love.
▸ now i'm down bad, crying at the gym.
▸ everything comes out of teenage petulance.
▸ fuck it if i can't have [you/them].
▸ i might just die, it would make no difference.
▸ i might just not get up, i might just stay down bad.
▸ fuck it, i was in love.
so long, london
▸ my spine split from carrying us up the hill.
▸ i stopped trying to make you laugh.
▸ how much sad did you think i had in me?
▸ i didn't opt in to be your odd man out.
▸ i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.
▸ you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it.
▸ my friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair.
▸ just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?
▸ you swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
▸ i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.
but daddy i love him
▸ i just learned these people only raise you to cage you.
▸ i just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.
▸ they slammed the door on my whole world. the one thing i wanted.
▸ you should see your face.
▸ no i'm not coming to my senses.
▸ i know [you/they]'re crazy but [you/they]'re the one i want.
▸ all my plans were laid.
▸ growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.
▸ i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning.
▸ i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace.
▸ i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing.
▸ god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.
▸ you ain't gotta pray for me if all you want is gray for me. then it's just white noise and it's just my choice.
▸ scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer.
▸ fuck 'em, it's over.
▸ time, doesn't it give some perspective?
fresh out the slammer
▸ fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to.
▸ handcuffed to the spell i was under, for just one hour of sunshine.
▸ years of labor, locks and ceilings, in the shade of how [they were] feeling.
▸ it's gonna be alright, i did my time.
▸ as i said in my letters, now that i know better, i will never lose my baby again.
▸ my friends tried but i wouldn't hear it, watched me daily disappearing.
▸ ain't no way i'm gonna screw up, now that i know what's at stake here.
florida!!!
▸ you can beat the heat if you beat the charges too.
▸ they said i was a cheat, i guess it must be true.
▸ this city reeks of driving myself crazy.
▸ little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.
▸ i'm barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine.
▸ well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.
▸ yes, i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine.
▸ all my girls got their lace and their crimes.
▸ i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.
▸ i've got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida.
▸ tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.
▸ love left me like this and i don't want to exist.
#rp meme#rp starters#sentence starters#lyrics rp starters#lyrics starters#lyrics rp meme#roleplay meme#lyrics meme#taylor swift lyrics rp meme
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down bad- jj maybank
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a/n: yes, i am a swifty- sorry lmao. I was thinking of doing a story for every track but we'll see how that ends up lol.
intended for fem!reader
summary: based off of down bad by taylor swift
pairings: jj maybank x fem!reader, (platonic) rafe cameron x adopted sister
warnings: break-ups, no happy ending
Did you really beam me up
In a cloud of sparkling dust
Just to do experiments on
Tell me I was the chosen one
Show me that this world is bigger than us
Then send me back where I came from?
It was another party and another useless attempt at calling Jj. You sat in the corner, exhaustion pulling at your eyelids, yet you stayed. You stayed for the small chance that Jj might come. It might’ve been your birthday, but you’d never been less merry in your life.
For a moment, I knew cosmic love
What happened? You two had been the pogue couple. You two were perfect for each other, his teenage petulance, your logical mindset. You were going to college on the mainland, you’d probably bring him with you. At least, that’s what the entire island thought.
You were his sense. You were his saviour. You stopped his excessive drinking and smoking. You were there for him every time he stood up to his father. You helped him with schoolwork when everyone else had given up on him. You stayed by his side, always.
And he discarded you.
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)
Everything comes out teenage petulance
Fuck it if I can't have him (Fuck it if I can't have him)
I might just die, it would make no difference
Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood)
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up, I might stay
You sat there all night, waiting for a sign of him. He didn’t show. He forgot your birthday. He must’ve really been done with you.
As you swept up the remnants of a party you didn’t want, a familiar voice rang through the house.
“You alright?” Rafe, your brother. You wanted to scream, but you took a deep breath instead, a pleasant smile on your tear-stained face.
“Fine,” you lied. “How are you?”
“I heard Jj left you,” he sighed. “I’m sorry-”
“If you’re here to gloat Rafe, I’m not in the mood,” you sighed. “Just go.”
He didn’t move. “I’m sorry-”
You rolled your eyes and pulled his hand off you. “Leave me alone.”
“I’m here for you, you know that, right?”
You didn’t want Rafe to be there for you, you wanted Jj to be there for you. You hadn’t felt rejection and devastation like this break-up. Jj was your first love, your first everything. Every time you closed your eyes you felt his hands on your body, his whispers in your ear, his smile on your skin.
Down bad (Like I lost my twin)
Fuck it if I can't have him (Down bad)
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
“You’re my everything,” he whispered, a hand dusting your waist. “We don’t have to do anything.”
You shook your head. “I want to,” you promised.
“You sure princess?” he smiled. You nodded.
I loved your hostile take-overs
Encounters closer and closer
All your indecent exposures
How dare you say that it's?
I'll build you a fort on some planet
Where they can all understand it
How dare you think it's romantic
Leaving me safe and stranded?
'Cause fuck it, I was in love
So fuck you if I can't have us
(Ah)
'Cause fuck it, I was in love
You opened your eyes again, tears spilling freely. “Get out Rafe.”
“I don’t think you want that.”
“I do,” You sobbed. “I want you and everyone else on this shitty island out of my fucking life! I can’t fucking wait to get out of here, away from you and fucking away from Jj! I hate you Rafe, truthfully, I do. But I hate Jj even more, and you’re just here because your dad asked you to be and we both know it, so if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to be left alone.”
Jj stilled, the flowers in his hand falling to the floor. You turned at the sound and another choked sob left your throat.
“Get out of my life!” You shouted, running up the stairs to your bedroom.
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)
Everything comes out teenage petulance
Fuck it if I can't have him (Can't have him)
I might just die, it would make no difference
Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood)
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up,I might stay
Rafe sighed and looked at Jj. “What the fuck are you doing here man?”
“I wanted to see her,” he mumbled.
“You fucked her up, get out,” Rafe was baring his teeth. “I’m not telling you twice.”
“Please-” he tried but Rafe just sighed.
Down bad (Like I lost my twin)
Fuck it if I can't have him (I'm down bad)
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
The summer months passed, you went to the mainland for an internship and slowly tried to forget about Jj. He forgot about you. You dreamt of him every night, wished for him every day.You left thousands of messages.
He didn’t read them.
Like I lost my twin
Fuck it if I can't have him
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
#jj maybank fluff#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jj mayback imagine#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank angst#jj maybank outer banks#jj maybank smut#obx cast#obx fic#obx imagine#obx x reader#obx rp#rafe obx#obx#obx fanfiction#outer banks
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For a moment, I was heavenstruck
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"Fuck it if I can't have him" (Fuck it if I can't have him)
"I might just die, it would make no difference"
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Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift (Part I)
FORTNIGHT
I was supposed to be sent away.
They forgot to come and get me.
I was a functioning alcoholic.
Nobody noticed my new aesthetic.
All of this to say, I hope you're okay.
No one here's to blame.
What about your quiet treason?
For a fortnight there we were forever running.
You're in my backyard turned into good neighbors.
I want to kill her.
All my mornings are Monday stuck in an endless February.
The effects were temporary.
I love you, it's ruining my life.
I touched you for only a fortnight.
My husband is cheating.
I want to kill him.
I call you up but you won't pick up.
Another fortnight lost in America.
Buy the car you want.
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT
You left your typewriter at my apartment.
Who uses typewriters anyway?
You're in self-sabotage mode.
Who else decodes you?
Who's gonna hold you like me?
Who's gonna know you if not me?
We'rе modern idiots.
You smokеd then ate seven bars of chocolate.
I chose this cyclone with you.
Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.
Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be.
Because we're crazy.
That's the closest I've come to my heart exploding.
MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVORITE TOYS
Here we go again.
You should've seen him when he first got me.
My boy only breaks his favorite toys.
I should've known it was a matter of time.
There was a litany of reasons why we could've playеd for keeps this time.
I know I'm just repeating mysеlf.
He runs because he loves me.
'Cause you should've seen him when he first saw me
I knew too much.
There was danger in the heat of my touch.
He saw forever so he smashed it up.
Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me
He was my best friend.
I felt more when we played pretend.
He took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart
Told me I'm better off, but I'm not.
DOWN BAD
Did you really beam me up?
Tell me I was the chosen one.
For a moment I knew cosmic love.
Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym.
Everything comes out teenage petulance.
Fuck it if I can't have him
I might just die, it would make no difference.
Come back and pick me up.
Fuck it if I can't have us.
I might just not get up.
I might stay down bad.
Did you take all my old clothes?
They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you.
For a moment, I was heavenstruck.
I loved your hostile take-overs.
I'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.
How dare you think it's romantic leaving me safe and stranded?
Cause fuck it, I was in love.
Fuck you if I can't have us.
SO LONG, LONDON
Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.
My spine split from carrying us up the hill.
I stopped trying to make him laugh.
How much sad did you think I had?
Did you think I had in me?
You'll find someone.
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out..
I founded the club she's heard great things about.
I left all I knew.
I stopped CPR.
Thе spirit was gone.
We would never come to.
I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.
Two graves, one gun.
I'll find someone.
You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it.
My white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment.
My friends said it isn't right to be scared.
Every breath feels like rarest air.
Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self implode?
You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waiting for the proof.
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.
I'm just getting color back into my face.
I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place for.
But I'm not the one
BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM
I forget how the west was won.
I forget if this was ever fun.
I just learned these people only raise you to cage you.
What a mess.
I just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.
Too high a horse for a simple girl to rise above it.
They slammed the door on my whole world.
But, daddy, I love him.
I'm having his baby.
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
No, I'm not coming to my senses.
I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want.
Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.
You're this chaos, he was revelry.
Stay away from her.
Lord knows the words we never heard.
I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'.
I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, it's mine along with all the disgrace.
God save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.
Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see.
You ain't gotta pray for me.
It's just my choice.
There's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fakest smiles.
Scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer.
We came back when the heat died down.
Went to my parents and they came around.
All the wine moms are still holding out.
Fuck 'em, it's over.
Even my daddy just loves him.
I'm his lady.
Oh my god, you should see your faces.
I know it's crazy but he's the one I love.
FRESH OUT OF THE SLAMMER
I'm running back home to you.
I know who my first call will be to.
He don't understand me.
Handcuffed to the spell I was under.
But it's gonna be alright.
I did my time.
Toss the ashes off the ledge.
I will never lose my baby again.
My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it.
Watched me daily disappearing for just one glimpse of his smile.
All those nights you kept me goin'.
Swirled you into all of my poems.
Now we're at the starting line.
No matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway.
Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up, now that I know what's at stake here.
FLORIDA!!!
You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too.
They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true.
My friends all smell like weed or little babies.
The city reeks of driving myself crazy.
Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.
Can I use you up?
I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away.
Well, mе and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.
Yеs, I'm haunted, but I'm feeling just fine.
Well, no one asks any questions here.
So I did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.
Is that a bad thing to say in a song?
I need to forget.
I've got some regrets.
Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.
At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida
I need to forget, so take me to Florida
What a crash, what a rush.
It's one hell of a drug
Love left me like this.
I don't want to exist.
#rp sentence starters#rp sentence meme#rp sentence prompts#sentence starters#sentence meme#sentence prompts#lyric sentence starters#lyric starters#music starters#rp meme#rp memes#rp prompts#ask meme#exodusmusing#*mystarters#*ttpd
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This song!!
I mean it gives Remus Lupin's vibes, right?
This is Remus to Sirius after the war.
Too much swearing. Remus would say it like this: "Fuck it if I can't have him".
"I might just die, it would make no difference" Like we know how depressed he is and how little he likes himself.
"Just to leave me here, naked and alone in a field in my same old town", "Down bad, walkin' up in blood". The mornings after the full moon without Padfoot!
"Everything comes out teenage petulance" This is how Sirius's explosive temper took out the worst of him and Remus should have known.
"Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up" The stars remind him of Sirius. He stares at the sky and begs him to come back and help him.
I keep connecting her songs to Wolfstar because I can't help it.
#maraudersera#marauders#sirius black#remus lupin#wolfstar#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#ttpd#ttpd era#down bad
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Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym
Everything comes out teenage petulance
Fuck it if I can't have him
I might just die, it would make no difference
Down bad, wakin' up in blood
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can't have us
#rayllumedit#rayllum#caylangst#death by a thousand cuts era#post ttm#ttmedit#my edits#graphics#taylor swift#how's this for a throwback#tdpedit#tdp#the dragon prince
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why (in my mind) down bad is Remus Lupin's song
[Verse 1]
Did you really beam me up
In a cloud of sparkling dust
i like to think that this part is when like (based on atyd) when Dumbledore comes and enrolls remus at hogwarts, and takes him to this place that is so new and sparkling to him.
Just to do experiments on?
Tell me I was the chosen one
so this is also about Dumbledore. i mean if you've been in the fandom long enough we know that Dumbledore isn't exactly a great person like he's deemed to be. i like how this line includes "chosen one" bc harry (obviously). it just goes to show how Dumbledore has done the same bads things for two generations of people.
Showed me that this world is bigger than us
Then sent me back where I came from
going back to atyd (i haven't finished atyd and not everything i say here is gonna be about it btw), remus being exposed to hogwarts and being (somewhat) happy i what i connect this line to. he came from a place of loneliness, to hogwarts, and then the war, and back to not having anyone around.
[Pre-Chorus]
For a moment, I knew cosmic love
hogwarts. the marauders. sirius. yeah.
[Chorus]
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym
lol fuck my man probably doesn't go the gym but it does make sense for him to cry at the most random places yk? he's lost the people he loves
Everything comes out teenage petulance
i feel like a lot of people would definitely become petty and like "ugh whatever" kinda attitude. after losing so many people, i mean, is there even a point to even think rationally? it might not be correct, but does it matter?
"Fuck it if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference"
remus has felt this way throughout so much, i mean, should we be supreised? cause i think not. i feel like the "him" is sirius, cause he did have him back but then he DIED, so remus is just like "wtf wtf wtf why cant i just HAVE HIM you gave him to me BACK! ykw, i might just die it would make no difference"
Down bad, wakin' up in blood
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
I'm sorry but he is a werewolf sadly. he wakes up in blood. ALONE THO. it makes sense for him to stare at the sky (maybe looking it the sirius start mayhaps?) and being like "PICK ME UP PLEASE"
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up, I might stay
[Post-Chorus]
Down bad
Fuck it if I can't have him
Down bad
Fuck it if I can't have him
i (don't like) to think how he would just be on the floor after his transformation, down bad on the floor, "fuck it if i cant have him here next to me, helping me" "i could just stay here, there's no point in getting up"
[Verse 2]
Did you take all my old clothes
Just to leave me here, naked and alone
i mean, sirius stealing moonys sweaters and clothes is one of my favorite things, but in this context, he dint only steal that. he stole everything. his clothes, his sense of belonging, his whole fucking soul basically. and then he left him forever.
In a field in my same old town
That somehow seems so hollow now?
i mean this town can literally mean HIS TOWN or maybe even hogwarts? imagine how bad it must have been for him when he went to hogwarts as a teacher, the hallowness in his heart there without everybody he's known and loved for years.
They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about
The existence of you
um well sirius is in azkabhan. yeah.
[Pre-Chorus]
For a moment, I was heavenstruck
he was heavenstruck, sirius was moonystruck
[Chorus]
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"Fuck it if I can't have him" (Fuck it if I can't have him)
"I might just die, it would make no difference"
Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood)
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up, I might stay
[Post-Chorus]
Down bad (Like I lost my twin)
i like how this one says "like i lost my twin" cause i feel like wolfstar are soulmates argue to the fucking wall. in my mind they're not opposite but not exactly the same. kinda like two sides on the same coin yk?
Fuck it if I can't have him (Down bad)
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
[Bridge]
I loved your hostile takeovers
Encounters closer and closer
after sirius escaping, maybe they did try to get back together? their encounters, where sirus gets "closer and closer". slowly but surely.
All your indecent exposures
How dare you say that it's—
their "indecent exposures" being at hogwarts. the love and affection. maybe sometimes being indecently exposed (sorry james [not sorry] peter)
I'll build you a fort on some planet
Where they can all understand it
remus would. he would whisk them both away to somewhere where no one can find them both.
How dare you think it's romantic
Leaving me safe and stranded
now, back to the petulance. obviously he knows this isn't sirus's fault, but sometimes pettiness takes over.
'Cause fuck it, I was in love
So fuck you if I can't have us
'Cause fuck it, I was in love
let him be. my man was in love with sirius black. his soulmate. he can be upset.
[Chorus]
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"Fuck it if I can't have him" (Can't have him)
"I might just die, it would make no difference"
Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood)
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up, I might stay
[Post-Chorus]
Down bad (Like I lost my twin)
Fuck it if I can't have him (I'm down bad)
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
[Outro]
Like I lost my twin
Fuck it if I can't have him
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
and yeah. that why this song is so remus coded.
#soup talks about marauders era peeps#taylor swift#marauders#ttpd#the tortured poets department#remus lupin#ts ttpd#sirius black#down bad#remus x sirius#remus loves sirius#the marauders#marauders era#james potter
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The Tortured Poets Departement of schloss einstein
— relating songs to characters and relationships because in my eyes, everyone is a little sad
Hallo. Wilkommen. This is me trying to relate everything I somewhat like to my current obsession even if it does not fit at all because this is a kids show and the album is probably anything but relatable to a 12 year old, trying to find a treasure. But I tried and I tried explaining my choices. This is my very insane and over-dramatic interpretation, please just deal with me.
Disclaimer: hab versucht, mich möglichst auf Staffel 26 und 27 Charaktere zu begrenzen, hat aber (siehe literally erstes Beispiel) manchmal besser bei früheren Charakteren oder Beziehungen gepasst. Btw would love it if anyone could find people to relate the missing songs to. (my chronic rewatching kinda failed me in the end…)
Fortnight - Till und Martha (Staffel 23)
And for a fortnight there, we were forever
Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather
Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors
Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her
All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February
I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary
And I love you, it's ruining my life
I love you, it's ruining my life
I touched you for only a fortnight
I touched you, but I touched you
For me this fits within the whole Martha Kasimir Till drama and obviously the somewhat enemies to lovers arc Martha and Till had going on. How probably liking Martha ruined Tills life more than it already was because when they kissed for the first time, she was still dating Kasimir and that, of course, ensured a lot of issues probably.
The Tortured Poets Department - Nesrin und Annika (Staffel 27!)
But you're in self-sabotage mode
Throwing spikes down on the road
But I've seen this episode and still loved the show
Who else decodes you?
And who's gonna hold you like me?
And who's gonna know you, if not me?
I laughed in your face and said
"You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith
This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots"
(...)
Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me
But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave
And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen
Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be
'Cause we're crazy
So tell me, who else is gonna know me?
We get introduced to them as these two best friends who are never really seen without each other. Annika knows Nesrin and Nesrin knows Annika and no one is ever going to get in between them, right? Because then it changes and we get the whole fight of Nesrin not really seeming to know Annika all that well anymore, them constantly fighting because maybe after all, all they had was the pranks they did together and what is their friendship beyond that? What is their friendship now?
Down Bad - Noah und Colin aus Noahs Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1062)
For a moment, I knew cosmic love
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"Fuck it if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference"
Down bad, wakin' up in blood
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up, I might stay
Did you take all my old clothes
Just to leave me here, naked and alone
In a field in my same old town
That somehow seems so hollow now?
They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about
The existence of you
I loved your hostile takeovers
Encounters closer and closer
All your indecent exposures
How dare you say that it's—
I'll build you a fort on some planet
Where they can all understand it
How dare you think it's romantic
Leaving me safe and stranded
'Cause fuck it, I was in love
So fuck you if I can't have us
So Noah kinda knows he likes Colin now, knows that he misses Colin but what if Colin doesn’t miss him? What if Colin already moved on? Nothing would make sense anymore. He lost his best friend and for what? Only to be alone in the end?
Because right now, for all Noah knows, Colin might still be mad at him.
So Long, London - Noah und Colin aus Colins Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1056)
I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist
I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift
Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away
My spine split from carrying us up the hill
Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill
I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe
Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had
Did you think I had in me?"
Oh, the tragedy
So long, London
You'll find someone
For so long, London
Stitches undone
Two graves, one gun
I'll find someone
And you say I abandoned the ship
But I was going down with it
My white-knuckle dying grip
Holding tight to your quiet resentment
And my friends said it isn't right to be scared
Every day of a love affair
Every breath feels like rarest air
When you're not sure if he wants to be there
You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waitin' for the proof
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days
And I'm just getting color back into my face
I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place
But Daddy I Love Him - Julia Sponer (Staffel 25 u 26)
Too high a horse for a simple girl
To rise above it
They slammed the door on my whole world
The one thing I wanted
Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned
Scrеamin', "But, Daddy, I love him
I'm havin' his baby"
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences
No, I'm not coming to my senses
This one is mainly for the dramatics of the song, of playing the part and of Julia wanting to take a path (acting) that is usually not really met with great immediate success.
Fresh Out The Slammer - Lucky und Paulina (Staffel 11 u 12)
Gray and blue and fights and tunnels
Handcuffed to the spell I was under
For just one hour of sunshine
Years of labor, locks, and ceilings
In the shade of how he was feeling
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time
Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you
Frеsh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to
Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches
Toss the ashes off the ledge
As I said in my letters, now that I know better
I will never lose my baby again
Give me one couple in the entirety of Schloss Einstein that screams Partners in Crime better than they do. (also give me one modern character that would be looked at like a criminal - they don’t do them like that anymore)
Florida!!! - Joyce Simon (Staffel 24 u 25)
Little did you know your home's really only
A town you're just a guest in
So you work your life away just to pay
For a time-share
down in Destin
(...)
The hurricane with my name when it came
I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away
Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine
Well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time
Yes, I'm hauntеd, but I'm feeling just fine
One character who never quite seemed to feel at home, who had a friend and still fled the country, who has never had a home because family was always foreign.
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - Joshua Hockenbrink (Staffel 27)
The who's who of "Who's that?" is poised for the attack
But my bare hands paved their paths
You don't get to tell me about "sad"
(...)
Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
You should be
The scandal was contained
The bullet had just grazed
At all costs, keep your good name
You don't get to tell me you feel bad
Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one morе joke
Then we could all just laugh until I cry
(...)
So tell me everything is not about me
But what if it is?
Then say they didn't do it to hurt me
But what if they did?
I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me
You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs
I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?
That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn
That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong
A birthday party organized simply to taunt him, the usually slightly mean behavior that drives everyone away and makes you think he is nothing more than rude, nothing more than a villain. But he’s also the boy that seems to want nothing more than to find a place that accepts him.
loml - Leon und Io aus Leons Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1064)
We embroidered the memories of the time I was away
Stitching, "We were just kids, babe"
I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"
I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed
I've felt a glow like this never before and never since
(...)
You holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life
You said I'm the love of your life
About a million times
Who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate
(...)
I wish I could unrecall
How we almost had it all
Dancing phantoms on the terrace
Are they second-hand embarrassed
That I can't get out of bed
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - Massuda Phanit (Staffel 26 u 27)
I can read your mind
"She's having the time of her life
There in her glittering prime
The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night"
I can show you lies
'Cause I'm a real tough kid
I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch, smile
Even when you wanna die
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting, "More"
I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'
I was hittin' my marks
I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day
Massuda is glitter, she is smiles in the camera, she is organizing parties and loud music and dancing and…She is also the parents that don’t accept her if she doesn’t have good grades. She is also the one who has to hide her true self whenever her parents turn up.
Clara Bow - Marlon to Simon (Staffel 27)
"You look like Clara Bow
In this light, remarkable
All your life, did you know
You'd be picked like a rose?"
I'm not trying to exaggerate
But I think I might die if it happened
Die if it happened to me
No one in my small town
Thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan
Take the glory, give everything
Promise to be dazzling
This might seem a wee bit crazy but hear me out! Marlon likes Nesrin but he also thinks Nesrin likes Simon. And he knows Simon is probably better at this whole liking someone and flirting with them thing that he will ever be because after all, he’s just the kid with the star bread.
— june🪐
(the anthology comes in a separate part bcs else this is too long to read - it already prob is)
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now I'm down bad cryin' at the gym everything comes out teenage petulance fuck it if I can't have him I might just die it would make no difference
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the tortured poets department.
songs one through five.
i was supposed to be sent away.
they forgot to come and get me.
i was a functioning alcoholic.
i hope you're okay.
you're the reason, and no one's here to blame.
what about your quiet treason?
we were forever running.
sometimes you ask about the weather.
your wife waters flowers.
i want to kill her/him.
all my mornings are monday stuck in endless februrary.
i took the miracle 'move on' drug. the effects were temporary.
i love you, it's ruining my life.
i touched you only for a fortnight.
but i touched you.
my husband is cheating.
i called you up, but you won't pick up.
i think some things i never say.
who uses typewriters anyway?
you're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down the road.
i've seen this episode and still love the show.
who else decodes you?
who's gonna hold you, if not me?
who's gonna know you, if not me?
i scratch your head, you fall asleep.
i've read this one where you come undone.
i chose this cyclone with you.
sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.
you told lucy you'd kill yourself if i ever leave.
i felt seen.
everyone we know understands why it's meant to be. because we're crazy.
that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.
here we go again.
you should've seen him when he first got me.
my boy only breaks his favorite toys.
i'm the queen of sand castles he destroys.
it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night.
i should have known it was a matter of time.
there was a litany of reasons why we could've played for keeps this time.
i know i'm just repeating myself.
pull the string, and i'll tell you that he runs because he loves me.
he saw forever so he smashed it up.
once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.
he was my best friend.
i felt more when we played pretend.
told me i'm better off. but i'm not.
tell me i was the chosen one.
showed me that this world is bigger than us, then sent me back where i came from.
for a moment i knew cosmic love.
now i'm down bad, crying at the gym.
everything comes out teenage petulance.
fuck it if i can't have him.
i might just die, it would make no difference.
fuck it if i can't have us.
i might just not get up.
i might stay down.
did you take all my old clothes?
that somehow seems so hollow now.
they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you.
for a moment, i was heaven struck.
i loved your hostile take-overs.
how dare you say that it's-?
i'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.
how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded?
fuck it, i was in love.
so fuck you, if i can't have us.
like i lost my twin.
i saw in my mind ferry lights through the mist.
i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift.
pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.
my spine split from carrying us up the hell.
i stopped trying to make him laugh.
how much sad did you think i had in me?
so long, london.
you'll find someone.
i didn't opt in to be your odd man out.
i founded the club she's heard great things about.
i left all i knew.
you left me at the house by the heath.
i stopped cpr. after all, it's no use.
the spirit was gone.
i'm pissed off you let me give all that youth for free.
i'll find someone.
you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.
my friends said it isn't right to be scared.
every breath feels like the rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there.
how much tragedy did you think i had in me?
how long did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?
how long did you think i'd go before i'd have to go be free?
you swore you loved me, but where were the clues?
i died on the altar waiting for the proof.
you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.
i'm just getting color back into my face.
i'm just mad 'cause i loved this place for so long.
had a good run, a moment of warm sun.
i'm not the one.
two graves, one gun.
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My favorite lyrics from each song off The Tortured Poets Department:
Fortnight (ft. Post Malone): "I was a functioning alcoholic until nobody noticed my new aesthetic"
The Tortured Poets Department: "At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger / And Put it on the one people put wedding rings on / And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding"
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: "I'm Queen of sand castles he destroys"
Down Bad: "Everything comes out teenage petulance/ Fuck it, if I can't have him / I might just die it'll make no difference"
So Long, London: "And you say I abandoned the ship / But I was going down with it / My white-knuckle dying grip"
But Daddy I Love Him: "I'll tell you something about my good name / it's mine alone to disgrace"
Fresh Out The Slammer: "Swirled you into all of my poems / Now we're at the starting line"
Florida!!! (ft. Florence & the Machine): "Yes, I'm haunted, but I'm feeling just fine / All of my girls got their lace and their crimes"
Guilty as Sin?: "Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks."
Who's Afraid of Little Old Me: "I was tame, I was gentle, 'till the circus life made me mean / Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth" and "You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" (I CAN'T PICK THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG I'M SORRY)
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): "Your good lord doesn't need to lift a finger / I can fix him, no really, I can"
loml: "Still alive, killing time at the cemetery / Never quite buried"
I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: "I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art!"
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: "I would've died for your sins, now I just died inside"
The Alchemy: "We've been on a winning streak / He jokes that it's heroin, but this time with an 'E'"
Clara Bow: "I'm not trying to exaggerate / but I think I might die if I made it"
The Black Dog: "And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song / That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming"
imgonnagetyouback: "Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you"
The Albatross: "So I crossed my thoughtless heart / spread my wings like a parachute / I'm the albatross / I swept in at the rescue"
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: "If you wanna break my cold, cold heart / Just say 'I loved you the way that you were' "
How Did It End?: " The deflation of our dreaming / Leaving me bereft and reeling / My Beloved Ghost and me / sitting in a tree / D-Y-I-N-G"
So High School: "And in a blink of a crinkling eye / I'm sinking, our fingers entwined / Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights"
I Hate It Here: "I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life, and I'll get lost on purpose"
thanK you aIMee: "But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth / That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you"
I Look in People's Windows: "Does it feel alright to not know me? / I'm addicted to the 'if only' "
The Prophecy: "Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen"
Cassandra: "When it's 'burn the bitch', they're shrieking / When the truth comes out, it's quiet"
Peter: " 'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned"
The Bolter: "Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless / Excellent fun 'til you get to know her"
Robin: "You have no room in your dreams for regrets"
The Manuscript: "The professor said to write what you know / looking backwards might be the only way to move forward"
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