#everyone is constantly terrified but that only means I'm good at writing >:3

[angelicallyblack]

I'm gonna try really hard to trim this down but I tend to be super wordy when I write so I apologise in advance if this is practically an essay, and I seriously will not blame you if you're like "this is long as hell I'm not reading that". But do you have any advice for overcoming envy? I experience it in relation to a lot of different things, but the main one is beauty. It's kind of confusing because I've had people walk up to me on the streets and tell me that I'm gorgeous, I've been told I could be a model, things like that, but I look at myself in the mirror and I KNOW I'm ugly so my guess is that people just pity me. I also know because growing up I was always treated as "ugly" by my classmates. Not as much in high school, but in middle school it was really bad. People assume that you're stupid, they laugh at everything you do, etc. Even teachers treat you differently. I've always been extremely insecure about my looks and have had points where I've been too ashamed to even leave the house or considered suicide over it.

I'm almost 20 and I feel bad because I know I should see beautiful women and be happy for them, but I just get extremely depressed and bitter. I don't take it out on them ofc. It's not their problem that I have issues. But I still have a sense of resentment towards them because I know that even at my absolute best I'll never be as good as them at their worst. People sometimes say that it's actually harder to be attractive, but I don't quite buy that. I read an article once about how much harder life is as a beautiful woman, and the writer talked about sexual harassment. Of course that's awful, but I grew up being harassed regularly and have been assaulted multiple times, so I don't think that's just a "pretty girl" problem.

It just feels like every time I see a pretty girl I'm reminded of how inferior I am, and I spiral. I feel that my insecurity is extremely obvious and can be very annoying and unattractive. I feel the need to apologise for all of my flaws because I'm terrified of people thinking that I consider myself attractive. I constantly talk about all the things I need to change about myself. I'm underweight so I've been trying to weight train and build curves, but I can only work out at home because I'm scared people will laugh at me. I can't go on dates because I feel like I'm subjecting them to some kind of torture by making them look at me. I literally cried in public once scrolling through Instagram. I don't think I'll ever stop hating myself but I just want to stop having a borderline meltdown every single time I see someone who's better than me.

Ok. A few things.

1. People don't tend to tell someone they're pretty if they're not. Especially strangers on the street? I'm asking you to think about that logically for a second and wonder what a stranger could possibly get out of telling you that if it wasn't true.

2. Beauty is subjective. I know that you feel like you're ugly, but other people clearly don't agree. That's the thing about beauty. Everyone can have different opinions on it, and that's okay. Just because you see yourself as unattractive it doesn't mean other people do because they don't have your brain nor your opinions so there's nothing to be confused about. They think you're pretty, so believe that that's their honest opinion.

3. Just because you were perceived as ugly as a child, it doesn't mean that's the case now. Take it from someone who lived that. Obviously my family thought I was pretty, but in school, I felt like I was ugly because of how boys reacted to me vs other girls. People would tell me I was pretty (even had a classmate tell me I was the prettiest black girl he'd ever met) but the actions just weren't lining up with the words. Of course now as an adult, I look back and realize I wasn't ugly I just wasn't white 💀 Naturally that didn't click at the time because I was a teenager, but interacting with a broader audience definitely helped.

4. I wouldn't say that being attractive is harder but it does come with its negativity. People apply narratives to you that can be harmful. There's pressure to continue looking a certain way. There's jealousy (as you well know) and while you're not one of those people who takes it out on others, plenty do. Don't think that just because someone is attractive that they have it relatively easy.

Honestly, you just have extreme self esteem issues. I'm not saying that to be mean, but stating what seems to be true. People tell you that you're pretty, and you don't believe them or you think they're lying despite the fact that they'd have no reason to do so. You literally feel the need to apologize for your appearance and don't want to "burden" people with it. Ain't nobody in the world that ugly. I don't throw terms like this around loosely, but Id even go so far as to say you have body dysmorphia. You don't see yourself clearly, at all.

That's something that needs to be unpacked. You need to figure out why you see yourself that way. You need to think about the things you don't like about yourself and ask yourself why you view those characteristics as ugly. I'm sure there are so many people out there who look like you who you probably think are gorgeous. You mentioned that you're underweight and while I support you trying to get to a healthier weight, don't think that you need to have curves to be attractive. If that's something that will make you feel better and improve your way of life, then I support it, but skinny doesn't inherently equal unattractive just like curves don't inherently mean attractive.

I mentioned that a broader and more diverse community helped improve my self esteem and how I saw myself. The more I saw gorgeous women who looked like me, the better I felt. My logic was that she's pretty and she has my nose so my nose must look pretty on me too. Or she has my body type and she looks amazing so the same must be said for me. This is one of those instances where social media can be a blessing, but truthfully, unless you're at a place where you're improving your mental health and how you see yourself, I wouldn't recommend it.

In your case, I would step back from social media. The only way to stop being envious is to be at a place where you're secure with yourself. You can't be envious of someone else's job when you love yours. You can't be envious of someone else's house when yours is literally your dream. And you can't be envious of someone else's looks when you're pleased with how you look. You need to work on building your confidence and being happy with how you look, and I don't think scrolling on social media will help with that. So many people edit their photos and fabricate their lives and it's just not healthy to consume so much from random people on the internet.

Make a list of the things you want to change. I have no issue with people doing things to improve their appearance if it will make them happy. If you think you'll look better with a specific hairstyle, then get it done. If you want to start doing your makeup a certain way that you believe will suit you better, then hop on YouTube and find products and reviews and tutorials. If you think certain clothes will compliment your figure better, then revamp your closet. Do things that will make you feel better about yourself. I promise you that no one at the gym is going to laugh at you. You're all there for the same thing and that's to improve your bodies. Everyday you need to start complimenting something about yourself. I don't care if you don't believe it, you keep repeating it until you do. You need to start wearing things that will make you feel good. Even if it's just a small change in how you see yourself that day, something is better than nothing.

Lingering on your insecurities while doing nothing about it isn't helpful. Even when I struggled with my insecurities constantly, I was still looking at makeup tutorials and fashion videos and things I could do to improve upon what I was working with to make myself feel better. I was determined to be pretty. Like I said before, I did my best to take advice and inspiration from girls who looked like me. It made it seem more attainable even when I thought I was the ugliest thing to grace this earth. I just got to a point where I was sick of feeling "ugly" and unhappy with how I looked. Like you, I was tired of looking at other girls and wishing I looked as good as them or wishing I got the attention they got. That can literally be you. You can literally be one of those women. All it takes is effort and a change in mindset.

#answered

[pilmik]

No better way to start a writing blog than by writing something completely self indulgent lmao college students this might hit too close to home but in my defense the new sem started and I'm. Mess

Gen: angst ig???some fluff? hurt/comfort? Quite literally just me writing what I want to hear

CW: insecurities, negative thoughts

Wakatoshi loves volleyball

Everyone knows this

Ever since he was little, he's lived and breathed for the sport

There's nothing better to him than the feeling of the ball hitting his hand, the adrenaline rush of a scored point, the satisfaction of a game well won

He didn't get this far on enjoyment alone though

As his s/o, you know this better than anyone, save for his coaches and teammates of course

You know the effort he's put in, you know that for every second he shines on the court in front he's spent hours practicing alone or with his teammates

And he shines on the court

Watching him play will never fail to make your heart stutter and your lungs feel like they're not getting enough air

After being with him as long as you have, you know enough about volleyball to know that Wakatoshi is something special

His speed, his strength, his reliability

No matter how many times you see that spike, the sound of the ball hitting the floor stays deafening

Wakatoshi was made to play Volleyball. It's an objective fact. Sometimes you think that the sport loves him just as much as he loves it

Sometimes, you get so jealous you could scream

one of the perks of being the volleyball captain's s/o is that you always get the best seats

You watch front row as your boyfriend leads his team to victory, and he always leads them to victory.

You watch, time and time again, as he scores the match point, that sharp wham of the ball hitting the court that sings triumph

Wakatoshi isn't the most expressive person. When his team wins a game, most people would write off his impassive face as nonchalance or as vanity, thinking maybe he's won so many times it doesn't feel like anything for him anymore

But you know him. You know that if you look hard enough at the end of a game, you can see a gleam in his eyes. A gleam that somehow means both satisfaction and hunger

Because while at the end of every game means victory, the end of every game also means the start of a new one, a new challenge, a new opportunity to be on the court. He loves every second of it

You know you're probably the worst person on the world for feeling this way about someone you love, but every time you see that gleam in his eyes, any pride and happiness you feel on his behalf is stained with resentment and an envy so bitter it stays on your tongue for days

You've never had that gleam in your eyes. You've never loved something so entirely, so completely as Wakatoshi loves volleyball

You honestly doubt you ever will

It's not like you're talentless or you don't have hobbies, you have the things you're good at and you have the things you like to do but it's not the same

You want so desperately to know what he feels like, to be doing something and to think, I could do this for the rest of my life and die happy

on your worst days, you wonder why he stays by your side at all

You watch him play, surrounded by his court and his team (no the court or the team, his.) And you wonder what he could get from you that he couldn't get from the sting of the ball on his palm, or the squeak of his shoes on hardwood

He's brilliant, wherever he goes be burns so brightly you swear he leaves scorch marks. What could a forest fire possibly want from a candle?

You watch them play a game against some college team, they win straight sets and Wakatoshi dominated the court, scoring a majority of the points. you're quiet on your way home, and he asks if you were bored by the game

You immediately tell him no, because on most days you love seeing him play, and you try and explain how you feel

He doesn't understand what you're talking about, obviously

Contrary to what most people think, your boyfriend isn't stupid or dense. He has trouble understanding different social cues and conceptualizing some of the more complicated emotions other people feel, but he's not an idiot

But these specific insecurities are something he's never had to face. For him, it's been volleyball since the start. His earliest memories are of his father in the yard, tossing a blue and yellow ball into the air while he sits on the engawa, chubby hands holding tight to a pink vabo-chan plush

It doesn't make sense to him, if you don't have anything like that, then all you need to do is find something you're good at, correct? Then you'll be happy

He tells you this, in his usual matter-of-fact way. (you can imagine how that went)

He doesn't understand why your eyes go glassy, or why you tell him you'll be fine walking by yourself for the rest of the way

But he does understand that he's made you upset, and he knows that he never wants to look into your eyes and see tears that he's put there

As he walks back to his dorm, he's wracking his brain trying to make sense of how you told him you felt, and what he said in response

He's still thinking as he enters the doorway, ignoring Tendou's greeting as he neatly removes his runners and puts them away

This, of course, alerts his redheaded friend, knowing Wakatoshi was taught to mind his manners

He leaves whatever he was doing to see him at the entrance, taking in his pinched expression. He knows that Wakatoshi walks you home after every game, and it doesn't take a genius to connect the dots

He quickly presses the pad of his thumb between Wakatoshi's furrowed eyebrows, smoothing the lines there

"trouble in paradise, Wakatoshi-kun? You can't keep frowning like that you know, you'll get wrinkles! Everyone already thinks you're an old man"

Wakatoshi trusts his best friend, even if he teases him constantly. Besides you, Tendou is his main confidant

He explains what happened much like someone would explain a mission report, in perfect unbiased detail. He tell him what you said, how he thought and responded and your reaction. Tendou is always patient with him, giving him his full attention.

After he finishes his story, his friend sits on his haunches in the middle of the hallway for a few minutes, pointer finger to his chin, head cocked and eyes to the ceiling, hmmmmmming thoughtfully

Wakatoshi waits at the entrance of their dorm room until Tendou snaps his eyes away from the ceiling and onto him

"Wakatoshi kun, I'm going to need you to imagine something for me"

His eyebrows pinch together again, but he nods

"Imagine you never played volleyball, you're exactly the same in every way, except your dad never showed you so you never learned how to play. Try and imagine who you'd be"

Wakatoshi tries his best to imagine, he replaces the blue and yellow ball in his memory with a red one, the bouncy kind they sell in bins at the grocery store. He replaces vabo-chan with some kind of stuffed animal wearing a bow

He thinks about school, about going straight home after class is over, and going to the gym only on weekends

He finds he's skipping parts of his life in large gaps, empty spaces he doesn't know what to do with, his future completely blank. It's terrifying.

Tendou must see the dawning horror on his face because he jumps up quickly with a flourish, clapping his hands together once to draw Wakatoshi out of his daydream

Tendou looks at him, smiling and says "y/n-chan doesn't have their volleyball. Most people aren't as lucky as you, finding your volleyball so early Wakatoshi-kun. Some people never find their's at all"

He stands at the entrance quietly for awhile after Tendou returns to his room, thinking about how scary it felt to imagine, even for a few minutes, his life full of the blanks that his sport filled

He wonders how it would be like to have those blanks empty all the time, with not even a clue how to complete them

Swallowing his pride, Wakatoshi realizes he wouldn't be able to live like that. Wouldn't be able to go forward into such unknowable territory, under such impossible odds

He thinks about you waking up every day, seeing your life full of blanks, and still pushing forwards despite it

He doesn't get much sleep that night.

You wake up in the morning to Wakatoshi's text ringtone

7:10am Toshi <3: Call in sick for first period.

7:10am Toshi <3: I am going to pick you up at 8.

7:13am Toshi <3: I will bring you breakfast.

7:27am Toshi <3: Wear a light jacket, it's chilly.

The half of you that's still hurt over yesterday wants to tell him to shove breakfast up his ass, but then you realise something

You stare at your phone, deeply confused

Doesn't he have volleyball practice before school?

You get ready quickly, and sure enough, when you walk out of your door at exactly 8:00, Wakatoshi is there.

He's wearing his tracksuit and runners, and he hands you a paper bag from the conbini. There's an apple, a bag of grapes and onigiri. In his other hand he's holding a warm drink, written on the lid is your favourite, exactly how you like it

"I am taking you to the park."

You tilt your head up at him, confused

"don't you have volleyball practice?"

"I'm skipping. We are going to feed the ducks."

The idea of Ushijima Wakatoshi skipping volleyball practice stuns you into silence, and you simply follow his lead to the direction of the park, you walking and him doing some sort of ridiculous exercise thing that looks like it'd make you puke

When you get there, you're happy to find that your usual bench is empty.

Wakatoshi pulls a water bottle out of his ridiculously-deep men's tracksuit pockets while you take the bunch of grapes out of the bag, neatly dividing it in half. You decide to take the big half of the grape bunch for once, because he was being a jerk yesterday and you deserve to feed the ducks more than he does. You give him his half and you both start feeding the ducks in silence

After awhile, he decides to speak

"Tendou made me imagine something yesterday"

You turn to face him, but he's still looking at the ducks

"he told me to imagine my life if I'd never played volleyball"

He frowns

"he said to imagine everything about me was the same, except I never started playing. I found that it was difficult"

"there were many things I found I couldn't fill in, both in my life and in myself"

"but the worst part was imagining the future. I couldn't imagine a single thing to put in it"

"I wouldn't be able to live like that. To live every day and see blank spaces and uncertainties. It sounds terrible"

He pauses for a moment and you're like :/ wow king thanks for the pep talk

But he takes a deep breath and he continues

"I think, for a person to face that uncertainty and keep pushing forward, they would have to be exceptional"

Your head snaps to look at him so fast you almost get whiplash

Exceptional

There's a word that you've never used to describe yourself

"I think, that if I knew someone like that, I would tell them that they are strong in a way that I doubt I will ever be"

He finally turns to look at you, and you try your best to see him through the tears distorting your vision

"after awhile of thinking, I finally thought of something that I could put in that blank future. Would you like to know what it was?"

You just nod, not trusting your words. His big hands gently engulf your own and for a moment you're absolutely certain Ushijima Wakatoshi will be the death of you

"if I didn't have Volleyball, if I didn't have a single clue of what I could do with my future, if I still had you by my side, I think I would be alright"

One hit K.O.

He keeps going though, as if he didn't just kill you

"if you would have me, I'd like to be in your blank future. For as long as it takes for you to find your volleyball, I'll be there. If it's months or years or decades,"

"if decades pass and you never find your volleyball, I would still like to stay by your side. Maybe your volleyball is looking for volleyball?"

His face contorts in consideration of the idea, and you can't help but laugh wetly, your tears soaking into his jacket as you bury your face into his arm

He presses a soft kiss to your head

"I apologize for what I said last night. I didn't understand"

You only shake your head

You two sit in companionable silence for a little longer so you can eat your breakfast, then you both walk to second period hand in hand

It's only in the boredom of your math class that you realize the gravity of what your boyfriend had said to you in the park

11:08 you: Tendou

11:08 you: was I tripping

11:08 you: or did Wakatoshi /propose/ to me in the park today

Tendou is typing......

A/N: I've never posted this kind of stuff before so comments would really be appreciated! Like if there's something I could do to make my stuff easier to read or whatever I wanna hear it! Even if it's mean I promise I'll only cry a little

#ushijima x reader #haikyuu ushijima #ushijima scenarios #ushijima fic #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima headcanons #ushijima x you #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #ushijima fluff #ushijima angst #haikyuu #Shiratorizawa #satori tendou #haikyuu satori #satori tendo #haikyuu smau #haikyuu headcanons #gender neutral reader

[considerablecolors]

can we get your saf songs ranking?

Absolutely!! This was so difficult because tbh I just want to put them all at number one lmao- But here u go! Also went ahead and put quick explanations for why each song is where it is

1. The Torture Tango (are we surprised? perfect act 1 finale, perfect trio, reprises so many songs, vocals killing it, listening after you know the plot twist makes you wanna cry. musical theatre peaked w this song don't @ me.)

2. Doing This (not only is it hilarious, espec as a gay person, but genuinely really sweet and everytime I hear "you're cool with me? "til the end" "cool" I fucking tear up. god I love curt and tatiana's friendship. ALSO MRS. MEGA MAKES ME LOSE IT EVERYTIME GOD BLESS. and the soft piano fits perfectly.)

3. Eyes On The Prize II (THIS SONG IS ALWAYS SO LOW ON EVERY SAF RANKING I SEE. Y'ALL WTF. I quite literally cannot listen to this song without getting chills it is so perfect. plenty of comedy from the casino workers at the beginning but really sets the tension of the next scene perfectly. also I say this with 100% sincerity- the bit where curt sees owen and you hear the Spies Are Forever motif with that gorgeous instrumental and the chorus vocals- only to end with a whispered "keep your eyes on the prize"- genuinely one of the best moments in all of musical theatre. I said what I said. I could write an essay on this one moment and yknow what? I might. just... chills man.)

4. Spies Are Forever (this song gets me AMPED. I could literally be doing dishes to this song and still lose my absolute shit and feel like a badass. a perfect introduction to the show, and exactly what you imagine when you hear "spy musical". mkw's vocals are OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS WTF and hearing the ensemble join in? ahhhhh!! the bits of dialogue are also great, and I love hearing that little bit of singing from curt and owen at the end and the contrast between them. awesome opening and literally makes me happy-stim half the time I hear it.)

5. One More Shot (My Shot whomst? sorry hamilstans I only know this absolute bop /j. SUCH a good group number (which I'm always a sucker for) and gets you hyped to see how this finale is going to go. fucking hilarious, and gives all four characters several moments to shine individually. THAT part (we all know what I mean) of everyone's rounds overlapping is chef's kiss. also love how we get to see curt's character growth here and how much more confident he feels- hell yea!! basically, it's a banger.)

6. Spy Again (holy crap!! this song makes me lose my shit everytime I listen to it. the perfect introduction to the curt we're going to be seeing throughout the show and the perfect summary of curt in general- it's tragic, it's insecure, but it's also really fucking hopeful. the fact that curt still wants to get back in the field after what happened- "too optimistic for this line of work" is right!! I know we joke abt the "spy is a spy is a spy is a spy" but damn this song has genuinely good lyrics and I love the music itself. curt mega's vocals are amazing ofc (the "get my life RIGHT again"- enough said). also unrelated but I love the piano version from the trailer sm???)

7. Spy Dance (IT'S A MUSICAL. IT'S ABOUT SPIES. so fucking good I'm so happy they kept this song in the musical itself. hearing this almost immediately after One Step Ahead on the soundtrack gives me emotional whiplash in the best way.)

8. Somebody's Gotta Do It (so in musical theatre, you have "I Want" songs and "I Am" songs. this straight up might be my favorite I Am song in musical theatre. it's SO good. sergio is hilarious and the DMA strikes the perfect balance between hilarious and terrifying. it's unreasonably catchy and gets stuck in my head constantly. [if you're curious, teachers tend to get very concerned when you mutter "this is my calling, and though it's appalling, I love making people bleeeeed" under your breath. fun fact!] so so good.)

9. The Coldest Goodbye (AHHHHHHH. mkw's vocals are incredible!! these lyrics are incredible!! the composition is incredible!! the layers and foreshadowing are incredible!! the tears rolling down my face are incredible!!)

10. Pay Attention! (pains me it isn't placed higher but at least it made top ten- I love this song!! it's such a good intro to barb, it's fucking hilarious and also a little bit sad, just like barb lmao. love the idea behind the song and the lyric "while you're saving the world, who do you think will be saving you" is a stroke of genius- as is "who do you think will be shaving you". also love the synth bridge it's so good??? god I love this song.)

11. One Step Ahead (watch how hard I can cry! this song is SO epic, there's no other word for it. beginning with a Spies Are Forever reprise as we see how much has changed between curt and owen since that song- p a i n. every line in this song hurts like I'm being stabbed 58 times with a blunt knife..... but like in a good way? curt mega and joey richter both sound great here, you can hear the emotion perfectly. ALSO the sound of music ending makes me lose my shit god bless.)

12. The Coldest Goodbye (Reprise) (HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SH- OH YOU THOUGHT THE STAIRCASE SCENE COULDN'T MAKE YOU MORE EMOTIONAL??? YOU THOUGHT WRONG!!! JOEY RICHTER SAID RIGHTS. SAD IT'S NOT ON THE SOUNDTRACK BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE THAT MEANS I DON'T HAVE TO CRY AS MUCH.)

13. Eyes On The Prize I (ok. so. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT KILLS ME TO PUT THIS SONG SO LOW? ALL OF THESE SONGS ARE SO GOOD AND DOING THIS PAINS ME PHYSICALLY. a PERFECT set up for cynthia, the back-and-forth between giving genuine support and then immediately doubling-back to harsh is golden. love curt's little Spy Again reprise and LOVE susan's "you gotta"s and "thE prizE". a short and snappy song, just the way cynthia would want it 👏.)

14. Mrs. Mega's Lament (funny and adorable. needs to be on the soundtrack smh. but yea mrs. mega is a treasure and this song makes for a perfect ending to my favorite scene in SAF. This Is A Safe Space supremacy.)

15. Prisoner Of My Past (sounds exactly like I would imagine a tatiana backstory sounding. love the almost 'haunted nursery rhyme' vibe. sad it's not longer but I honestly think the length fits it well!)

16. Barb's Lament (short, sweet, and does exactly what it needs to do! tessa netting's ability to crack me up and make me emotional at the same time is unparalleled)

17. Overture (absolute banger but I miss the singing :( lmao)

18. Spy Again (Reprise) (gets me VERY pumped, but i want an extended versionnn.)

19. Not So Bad (they're well-written songs, I just can't listen without getting uncomfortable personally [which is probably the point tbf]. points for sheer nerve and sound of music references lol.)

20. Not So Bad (Reprise) (see above. also points for the informant's uncomfortable "and I love this song!" and lauren lopez's deep voice, both always crack me up)

ANYWAYS in summary- SAF is an incredible soundtrack for an incredible musical and if u haven't watched it ur legally obligated to /hj. TalkFine and TCB are geniuses and the people behind SAF deserve all the praise and more!!

#spies are forever #cc speaks #asks #*paul voice* promise me you'll think about the implications (saf meta)

[sword-brainrot]

Hello~! I'm the Anon who asked for the Saniwa with the part-time job.

Don't worry hc were enough! I don't want to cause more work for you :3

But those hc were good! Can I ask for the same thing but with Yagen Toushirou, Minamoto Kyomaru and Suishinshi Masahide!

Thank you ^^

Hello again!! I'm so happy that you enjoyed the previous ones!! They are always such a blast to write.

TW: violence, blood, burns/scars, S*icide mention

♡  Yagen wouldn't be at your café often but would show up from time to time. Normally when he was with some of his younger siblings (only like two because OH GOD). He would often be busy at the citadel doing any work you assigned him for that day or working on new medicine.

♡  Yagen has rarely any time to take a break. He is very much so a workaholic. You will always see him working on something, so it takes his brothers a lot of begging to get him to stop. When they do, it's to go to the café where you work. A lot of the younger swords miss you a lot when you are not at home.

♡  Yagen will take the chance of coming to visit you as a chance to buy stuff at stories for medicines he is working on or maybe a book to help him study. So often times, they will come into the café with some bags that he bought just before coming in.

♡  He will make sure that his younger siblings don't bother you when you are working! He will buy them a small dessert while ordering some tea for himself. He doesn't want to cause more trouble for you because he knows you are working hard to support everyone at the citadel and really admires you for it.

♡  That being said, he does worry about you a lot. Don't be surprised if you feel eyes on you while you work. As soon as you look over at him, he will advert his eyes and pretend he was just reading. In actuality he was trying to study your body language and facial expressions to make sure you aren't overworking yourself.

♡  They will stay at your café for about an hour, at most. Before he gathers them up and says one last goodbye before taking them home.

♡  When you do get home, you are not allowed to work all that much. He understands you have to do paperwork and assign jobs for the swords but he will make extra sure you are taking breaks and eating properly. So don't be surprised if you see him much more often around you after you get back. He will make sure to bring you tea, snacks, and maybe some sleeping medicine at night if you can't fall asleep.

♡  Customers are relatively patient and understanding, so he often doesn't have to worry all that much when you are working.

♡  So expect a very shocked Yagen walking into the café and seeing hot coffee being poured on you when the customer gets so angry for getting the order wrong. Shock quickly turns into pure anger. He will push his younger siblings away before dashing over to the scene.

♡  Yagen is one of the fastest Tantous. You won't even see him. It will be a blur in front of your eyes before you finally realize that Yagen had just dashed from the door to the other side of the café and right into the man. The man now knocked out, laying against the wall he was just driven into by Yagen.

♡  The anger quickly fades from his face since the man is no longer his concern. His attention is quickly brought over to you, worry on his face and he doesn't even attempt to hide it. His gloved hands with quickly find yours, and guide you quickly to the back to help you.

♡  His siblings will follow the both of you, very concerned about you. Expect Yagen to be very quiet during this time. It will be mostly his younger siblings asking you if you are okay and having small talk to you.

♡  Yagen will hold you very gently as immerse the burns in cool water. His treatment is fast but gentle. He won't look at you in the eyes as he puts on the lotion and bandages the burn. The most he will say will asking his siblings to be a little more quiet and careful around you.

♡  The first time he will look at you will be when he gives you a pill to relieve the pain that you must be feeling. His eyes will still look insanely worried for you and you will see his mouth in a straight line, as if he is holding back emotions. He can't let you or his siblings see him cry.

♡  Yagen had to see many people hurt, almost all of them being people he cares about deeply. Sometimes, they wouldn't make it and break/pass away. He knows you are fully human and a little more fragile than him and the rest of the swords. It is only then, when seeing you hurt, does he realize how terrified he is about losing you.

♡  Yagen had lost his previous master and his mastered used him to die. He doesn't want to lose you too. He is no longer just a blade, he can make sure he can protect you.

♡  After his emotions are more under control, he will declare; "My siblings care about you a lot. All the swords care about you a lot." He will look down as he continues, "I care about you a lot. So get better soon and when situations like that happen and get too dangerous... It's okay to run away and rely on us. It doesn't make you weak. So don't go pushing yourself too far or else I won't forgive you. There is only so much I can help heal..."

♡  When you get home, you will have your own personal nurse around. Yagen will be around much more now. He will make sure you have everything you need and make sure you aren't working too much so your wounds can heal. He is also going to be the sword that is constantly changing your bandages and making sure you are taking your medicine and resting. He isn't going to allow him to back sass him either. You are following HIS orders until you fully heal.

♡  He isn't going to prevent you from working or going back to the café, though. He knows you are responsible and will do what you wish but he wants you to be aware that everyone cares about you and will be there if you need them. As well as not pushing yourself too far.

♡  Minamoto will often times show up at the café! Normally in the afternoon with Suishinshi. Minamoto often challenges poor Suishinshi at the arcade and whoever loses has to pay for the winner's food and drink. Let's just say... Minamoto isn't the one paying often and you see a very angry sword hiding half his face in his collar because of it.

♡  Minamoto thinks it's great that you are working in the café because it seems like something you really enjoy doing! Even if it's stressful sometimes. He honestly wishes he could also work with you and help out around the café but knows that working there is on a strict schedule that he just can't follow due to being a Touken Danshi (sword warrior). He has to be prepared to work around the citadel or go off to missions any moment you say the word. He respects that too.

♡  Doesn't mean he doesn't do his own work though! He actually gets paid to win stuffed animals from claw machines for people and sometimes enters gaming tournaments around the town to try to win some money for you and the citadel. He wants to help too! In his own special way.

♡  Speaking of that, he is very good at claw machines! So if he knows you like a certain animal or character (or maybe he just thinks it's cute), he will win it for you and show it to you when he gets to the café to surprise you and bring up your day! He knows you two can't talk much while you are working but he wants to make you smile any way he can and brighten your stressful day.

♡  Even though he shows up often to the café, he doesn't stay too long. He doesn't want to take up too much of your time when he knows you are busy. He wants to relieve your stress, not add onto it.

♡  Minamoto will try to make you some of the drinks or desserts back at the citadel for when you return! It... does not taste the same. He can make it look pretty! The taste is lacking though. It's the thought that counts. He would love it if you two cook together and you teach him how to make it! Anything to get your mind off work and just enjoy your time away from it. Bonus points if you actually enjoy cooking.

♡  As everyone knows, Minamoto is actually a pretty chill person. He doesn't look for a fight and eager to welcome anyone new and let them know that he respects them. That being said, his emotions sometimes gets the best of him and doesn't want to confront them directly which might come off more passive aggressive.

♡  I bring this up because the side he shows when everything goes down will not be a pretty one.

♡  He will be having a little chat with Suishinshi as they enjoy their drinks (Suishinshi with black coffee where every time he takes a sip, it looks like he is getting hit but he has to look mature. And Minamoto with a very sweet smoothie that could probably rot your teeth if you're not careful) but then will hear the loud commotion coming not too far from them. As soon as Minamoto sees that it's you that is involved, he rushes to get up and protect you. Not wasting any moments and nearly throwing the table on it's side. The drinks that were on it, broken, on the floor.

♡  Even though he rushed, he witnesses you getting the hot coffee poured on you right in front of him. Just a little too slow to get there. Horror will be written on his face as he turns his attention to the man who just did that to you.

♡  Fury. The man lasts no chance before Minamoto has him on the floor and letting his anger get the best of him.

♡  It is Suishinshi that urges you to go into the back with a follow coworker to get your wounds handled. It is also Suishinshi that pulls Minamoto off the customer. The once angry customer is now beaten and bleeding badly. However he is still conscious and rushes to get away from the swords. Suishinshi understands how his friend his feeling but knows that he can't let his anger get the best of him... Not here.

♡  Suishinshi will be the one that goes into the back to see you and take you home. Minamoto will be no where to be found. He has to cool off before he can see you.

♡  You will find him much later, on the rooftop looking at the stars. He will be much more quiet than ever before and won't look at you if you sit next to him. It will take a while before you can hear his voice that sounds stressed, as if not wanting to let more emotions get out.

♡  "You should of ran. You didn't have to take what he was saying... You-" He would pause as he grips his cloak, "You didn't have to see that side of me."

♡  He doesn't mean to blame you and would apologize a lot when he realizes it comes off like that. He knows that it isn't /your/ fault. He has a lot of emotions welling inside of him as he thinks about the incident and now seeing your skin bandaged. He never wanted to see you hurt like that.

♡  If you touch him and get close, everything he was holding back would just break. He would be sobbing into your shoulder as he expressed how he was so scared that he was going to lose you and not protect you. How he wanted to not cause more stress for you but ended up being useless and causing so much more stress and hurt onto you. His hug will be tight but gentle to make sure to not touch any of the wounded areas.

♡  He cares about you a lot that sometimes he doesn't know how to react to some of his more darker emotions. He didn't mean for today to turn out like that. He promises to be better and make sure to never let his anger get the best of him like that again.

♡  Like stated above, Suishinshi comes to the café often with Minamoto! He will often complained that Minamoto dragged him along but in actuality, it was Suishinshi dragging Minamoto. Though, you don't need to know that he misses you often when you aren't in the citadel. He will keep that secret just between him and Minamoto. Minamoto knows not to tease him about it because he will get defensive and just not go, then gets all depressed for not seeing you. So instead, he just smiles and goes along with it. Anything for his best friend.

♡  Suishinshi still often pays for the meals and drinks when they go because Minamoto still brings him along to the arcade. If he wants to see you so bad, he has to play a few rounds with Minamoto.

♡  Although he is often angry about losing, he does cheer up quite a bit when you come over and smile at them before asking for their order. You may even see a small blush on his cheeks that he tries to hide with his collar.

♡  He still orders black coffee even though it is very clear he does not like it, at all. He wants to impress you and show you that he is very mature and can handle bitter foods/drinks! Though you can see Minamoto often laughing at him for trying to drink his cup and making a face each time... HE WILL DRINK IT ALL. He will not back down.

♡  Even after Suishinshi and Minamoto leave after their order, you will find him outside the café around closing time. He will act like he just came back to do some shopping but he will not be holding anything. He is really just looking for an excuse to be with just you and walk you home after work. Don't point it out, he has an image to uphold!!

♡  Will wrap his cloak/jacket around you if it's cold when you both are walking home. "You shaking so much is distracting me, just take it". You won't even be shaking but he will say you were anyway. His cloak/jacket is very warm! Personal heater sword right there. Though he gets cold often but will still want you to swear the cloak/jacket.

♡  Don't be too surprised if you still him glaring at other customers when he is in the café. If he sees anyone looking at you in interest, his eyes are locked on them and he is giving them the death glare. He won't stop until they get the note. If you ask him about it, he will reply very bluntly to you with "I don't like their face."

♡  He can be very rude to those not important to him. Especially those that are trying to do something with his master.

♡  He is trying to get better at expressing his emotions! Emphasis on try. Sometimes when you both just get home and you both are hanging up your coat, hat, and taking off your shoes, he will mutter very softly for you to hear; "Good work today" before running off. You can't even ask what he said or thank him because he is already gone by the time you hear it and look over to him.

♡  He wants you to know that he supports you in everything you do but is really bad at putting that into words. Even worst with confronting you directly about it without running away. Just know that he means it every time he does get it out! He cares about you a lot more than he is able to express.

♡  So when he sees someone causing you trouble in the café one day? Oh no... He doesn't wait and gets up right away. Minamoto is the one that tries to calm him down, saying that aruji (master) can handle it. They are very capable on their own as well! That is the only reason that Suishinshi hesitates for a moment.

♡  But it is in that moment when the situation grows dire and coffee gets splashed onto you. Both swords stand there in shock for a moment before rushing forward. Suishinshi wastes no further moments and quickly knees the customer in the stomach to make them topple over, onto the ground.

♡  However, he doesn't focus on them. Instead, he turns his attention onto you and gently grabs you to rush you into the back. Minamoto is the one that deals with the violent customer (this time a little more calm but still seething).

♡  "It's okay. It's okay.." He will keep repeating as he puts cold water on your burns. You are unsure if he is trying to reassure you or himself. You will see him on the slight panic mode as he tries to help your wounds. Him shaking rather bad and dropping any item he tries to hold and help. A coworker will have to come in and actually help bandage and take care of your wounds as Suishinshi is escorted out to calm down.

♡  As soon as you come out of the room, now bandaged up, you will see him pacing back and forth in the cafe. Minamoto trying to get him to sit down and breathe. As soon as he hears the door open, his eyes shoot over to you and he runs over. Grasping you gently as he starts to go on a tangent.

♡  "A-are you okay? Are you hurt badly? Can you walk? Oh god that was dumb, of course you can. How are your eyes? Can you see? How many fingers am I holding up? Do you remember my name? My liege, do you know how worried I was about you? You shouldn't of..." He would stop and look down at the ground as he tries to catch his breath that he wasn't aware he was holding, "You shouldn't of been the one that got hurt. I should of taken the hit and your pain. I am sorry for failing you as your sword. I have no right to the title of Touken Danshi."

♡  Don't expect to continue working for a while. Suishinshi is normally one to not give affection openly but after that incident, good luck getting rid of him from your side. He will be constantly trying to help you around the citadel and not letting you touch almost anything that could hurt you.

♡  Also expect him to constantly be cuddling with you (if you allow it). It is more for him than you. He wants to make sure he doesn't lose you and protect you.

♡  There will be times where he is cuddling you from behind, with his chin resting on your shoulder and another sword will come in, telling you about missions reports. Suishinshi will be glaring at them from your shoulder. Almost like a feral cat trying to tell people to leave their owner alone.

♡  Suishinshi will say that he won't allow you to go back to work but if you really wanted to, you could. He is just very paranoid of a similar incident happening again.

♡  When/if you do start working again, expect him to be there everyday for the first good while. He won't use Minamoto as an excuse anymore and will just be there by himself. He wants to make sure to protect you! It will take a long time before he will actually distance himself from you and not be at your side all the time. You might have to talk to him to let him know that it will be okay and that it won't happen again. Even then, he will be scared and still show up fairly often. He will break the habit overtime!

#Touken Ranbu #Touken Danshi #Tourabu #Touken Ranbu Headcanons #Touken Ranbu Imagines #Touken Ranbu x Reader #TKRB #TKRB Headcanons #TKRB Imagines #TKRB x Reader #Yagen Toushirou #Yagen Toushirou x Reader #Suishinshi Masahide #Suishinshi Masahide x Reader #Minamoto Kiyomaro #Minamoto Kiyomaro x Reader

[astorytotellyourfriends]

hello!!!! i love your fics i get excited every time you update on ao3 <3 could I please request “I’m pretty sure (you’re/she’s/he’s/they’re) my soulmate” or “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.” for PeterPatter?? ty!!

oh i had WAY too much fun writing this one!!!

-x-

Luke has been excited to go to his first punk rock show since the first time he heard a punk rock song. It took months of begging and pleading with his parents to get them to agree to not only let Luke buy a ticket, but to go to the show alone.

He's 15 - almost 16 - but going to a punk rock show alone in Los Angeles isn't exactly something his parents are thrilled about. But somehow, Luke manages to convince them that he'll be okay.

And then ten minutes into the first set, Luke gets punched in the face.

For the record, Luke is in the middle of the mosh pit. Limbs are flying everywhere and most of the people around him are both bigger and older than he is, which means there is ample opportunity for Luke to get absolutely crushed.

But the guy who punches him? It's a scrawny, gawky kid in an oversized leather jacket who can't be much older than he is. And he looks absolutely horrified that he just did that.

"I'm sorry!!" he shouts over the music as Luke clutches his jaw. The throng of the crowd pulses around them, constantly knocking the kid around as he tries to apologize further.

"It's okay!" Luke shouts back, although his head feels a bit floaty and his jaw really hurts.

"No, seriously, I'm so sorry!! I didn't see you and I totally didn't mean to hit you I was just so into the music and this band is so good and I just got carried away and started doing what everyone else is doing and oh my god seriously I'm so sorry please don't hurt me!!"

Luke's staring at this kid the whole time he's rambling but instead of wanting to punch him as payback, Luke feels something else entirely. He grabs a hold of the kid's face, which makes him look absolutely petrified - like Luke is going to try and rip his head off or something, and smacks a kiss to his forehead.

"You get it!" he shouts, keeping a hold on the kid's face as he continues to stares at Luke with complete terror in his eyes. "Everything you just said! You get it! Dude, I'm pretty sure you're my soulmate!"

The kid laughs nervously, the terrified look still not leaving his face even as Luke hooks his arm around the kid's shoulders and turns back to the band on stage. He starts to loosen up as he realizes that Luke isn't going to pummel him, and soon they're both screaming their hearts out as they jump up and down.

"What's your name, anyway?" Luke asks when the set is over and they can actually hear each other speak without shouting.

"Reggie. You?"

"Luke," he replies, holding out his fist. Reggie smiles as he bumps his fist against Luke's and laughs. "Good to meet you, bro."

"You too." Reggie gulps a little. "Sorry about your face, again."

"No worries. All's fair in the pit, right?"

Reggie snorts. "Yeah, true. Last week I almost got crushed during Screeching Weasel's set." Reggie sighs happily. "It was awesome."

Luke stares at him in awe. "You were there??"

"Yeah! Were you?"

"No," Luke replies, suddenly feeling timid. "I… uhh… this is my first show."

"Really?" Reggie's eyes go wide and Luke is sure he's about to be made fun of. "That's awesome!"

Luke relaxes immediately. "Really?"

"Yeah!" Reggie drops his voice, whispering into Luke's ear, "my first show was New Kids on the Block because my parents made me go with my sister."

Luke snorts. "Dude."

"I know." Reggie rolls his eyes. "So this? Way better."

"Definitely."

Reggie smiles at him. "You going to Fugazi next week?"

"I--"

"I've got an extra ticket if you wanna go!" Reggie clears his throat. "Y'know, with me."

"Totally!" Luke sighs a little. "I just… have to ask my parents."

"No worries, dude." Reggie smiles, throwing his arm around Luke's shoulders. "Parents love me."

prompt lists | filled prompts

#ruke #luke x reggie #peterpatter #jatp #julie and the phantoms #justine writes shit #answered #Anonymous

[kayleebreanne09]

I’m on a boat

Topper x Reader

Cutesy imagine about you being a pogue, in love with a kook. Scared of making the fued worse, your relationship is a secret. Until topper decides, he wants to go public with the kooks. I LOVED writing about this💜

Pogues vs kooks. Much like the montague’s & the capulets, it’s a battle that never ends. “It’ll be fine baby, they will end up loving you almost as much as I do” topper said, stopping to kiss me on the forehead as we walked hand in hand to ward Cameron’s big ass boat. Topper & I were the Romeo & Juliet of outer banks. We were crazily in love & almost no one knew about us. I was forced to admit the truth to Kie after a very embarrassing incident where she walked in on us trying to find a moment alone inside an unoccupied pantry at the wreck. “Not on the food!” She had cried while rolling her eyes. Aside from her, no one knew. Of course I didn’t enjoy being a secret, I’d love to be able to bring topper to the chateau & cuddle in the hammock with him while listening to John B tell us the newest insane adventure he’d been on. I wanted him there with me at the boneyard parties where JJ & I were constantly battling it out to see who could drink the most. I wanted Topper to pull me close, wrapping his arms around me while we danced at midsummers. But I was more terrified of losing him. I was afraid of my friends reacting badly & making me choose sides. I was afraid of his friends bailing on him, leaving him alone after all their years of friendship. I’d go to hell & back for Topper but could I give up my best friends? They were the closest thing to family that I had. Could I ask him to give up his? Toppers friends were terrifying, sure. My only run ins with Rafe had been when he was beating the hell out of one or more of my friends. Kelce was always on the side lines, encouraging Rafe or whoever else to start a fight with anyone resembling a pogue. But all that aside, they were still his friends. Because of that, they had to have some good inside them. Topper had his flaws too, everyone does. All I know is that Topper would fight to the death for me. He laid in the sand with me looking at the stars & telling me his dreams. When I was mad, he’d stroke my hair & ask me who’s ass he needed to beat. He’d lay in bed with me nose to nose cuddling & list every single thing he loved about me until I blushed tomato red & hid my face in his pillow which just made him burst out laughing. He had my heart. Which is why, against my better judgement, he was leading me right onto Ward Cameron’s boat. My nerves hit an all time high as we neared his group of friends. Everyone was drinking, dancing, smoking joints & some were scattered about partaking in some harder drugs. This was a full out kook party & one of the things was poorer than the other, ya know? Topper felt my hand clinch & slightly leaned down to where I could feel his breath on my ear. “It will be fine sweetheart. Breathe!” My body shivered, reacting to him even in a room full of people. I pushed away the unholy thoughts about what I wanted to do to him right then & took his advice, taking a deep breath. He kept our fingers intertwined as we walked up to his friends. “Whoa Top, I didn’t think you’d be into banging a lowlife pogue.” Before I even had a chance to shoot Rafe a go to hell look, Topper was face to face with the boy, only inches away. Anger was radiating off of him in waves. “Do. Not. Ever. I mean ever, talk about (Y/N) like that. If I see even a dirty look given her way, your ass is grass. Ya hear me? That goes for all of you. You’re supposed to be my friends. I love her! Can’t you be happy for me?” He asked his anger finally giving way to sadness. Kelce just stared. Rafe started to speak but I took a step forward. I stuck my hand out in his direction. “Hi Rafe, I’m (Y/N) it’s nice to meet you.” He looked at me & walked off. I turned to Topper to see him staring off into the water looking upset. “Babe, it’s okay. I’ll get them to warm up to me. I’m never going to let you lose your friends” I said standing on tip toes to kiss his cheek. “I love you so damn much. Drinks?” He questioned. I nodded my head vigorously.

About 4 shots of fireball, things were a lot less tense. I kept Topper laughing as we danced around & I did my best attempt at moonwalking & the sprinkler. I thought he might actually kill over once I started doing the stanky leg. Toppers loud laughter brought Kelce over. He joined us on our make shift dance floor & proceeded to do the YMCA. Topper busted out with the chicken dance. I smiled at him & Kelce, as we all looked like idiots pulling out our best dance moves. “Shots!” I said running & grabbing 3 shot glasses of tequila & bringing them back.

“Guys! I have the perfect song!” I shouted, maybe a little too loudly in my drunken state. I ran to the aux cord connecting to the boats huge sound system. Kelce followed & chuckled while watching me scroll through my music as I cussed my blurry vision. “Yes!” I cried in victory as I ran towards topper. He caught me, spinning us around as he pulled me too his chest. “Oooh very smooth Romeo” I giggled staring up into his beautiful eyes. He silenced me with a passionate kiss. His hand was on my cheek & his other on my lower back, pulling me as close as two people can be. Alcohol just tripled my love & attraction to my sexy ass kook boyfriend. “You keep that up, we are going to have to sneak out of here and-“ I was cut off by the first notes of my song starting so I shot to the front of the boat, spreading my arms out, & letting the wind blow through my hair, chilling my warm skin. “Oh shit, get your towels ready, it’s about to go down!” I yelled along with the song. “I got my swim trunks & my flippy floppy’s, I’m flippin burgers, you at kinko’s straight flippin copies!” I laughed as I sang along dancing wildly. I saw Rafe watching from the side of the boat. His mouth started to slightly turn up in the beginnings of a smile. I took that opening & danced up to him, taking his hands in mine dancing backwards, dragging him to the middle of the boat with me. “Believe me when I say...I fucked a mermai-ai-ai-aid!” My smile took up my whole face as he sang along with me during my favorite part. Topper ran up & put his arms around both of us, singing along. Then came Kelce. We were all in this makeshift circle huddle singing out hearts out. Some of the other random kooks even joined in on our little karaoke party.

Finally, once the sun had sank completely down & everyone had went their separate ways...Topper, Rafe, & I were laying on the highest part of the boat. We were laid on our backs, looking up at the stars. Rafe passed the blunt to me. I inhaled deeply, held it, then gently blew the smoke into the night sky. “Topper, I’m happy for you man” Rafe said resting his hand on toppers shoulder. “(Y/N) I apologize for being so rude earlier. It’s just, my whole life, I’ve been taught that the only way to be respected in life is through money & power. I was told that a mans worth is measured by his millions so I’ve resented the lower class. If the other pogues are anything like you...I mean, maybe I could rethink my stance.” He said quietly. “It’s all forgiven Rafe, I’m really glad we can be friends!” I said grinning over at him. Topper felt for my hand in the dark & gently squeezed it. “Thank you” he whispered in my ear. “Anything for you. Always.” I said bringing my lips to his then quickly laying back down, completely at ease under the light of the bright moon. Topper pulled my body closer to his as I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way this pogues vs kooks war could be ended. If anyone could it, Topper & I could. Together, we’d take on the world.

#the outer banks #outer banks #obx netflix #topper obx #topper x reader #topper thornton #topper #topper fanfiction #topper fanfic #topper imagine #rafe cameron #rafe obx #Spotify

[sulietsexual]

not gonna lie i'm super surprised you don't consider delena to be abusive in any way. however, i think it's great that you didn't let other people's opinions sway your own judgements, which can be hard to do when you go into watching a new show where everyone seems to have similar opinions. i know you're probs bored of answering tvd asks, but if you have time would you consider writing WHY you don't think delena are abusive and why you like their dynamic? thanks :)

Okay, before I get into my answer (which will be rambling and long and probably not make sense to anyone but myself and possibly @we-pay-for-everything because we seem to have similar takes on Delena) I need to clarify that when I say that I don’t find Delena abusive that doesn’t mean that I think it’s a good or healthy ship. There are a lot of aspects to Damon’s behaviour and to the relationship which make it a pretty unhealthy ship and I would never try to pretend otherwise. But I don’t feel that Damon is abusive towards Elena (even if he does cross some lines) nor do I feel that the ship is abusive as a whole. 

I was caught in a very abusive relationship when I was younger and while that by no means makes me an expert on the subject it does mean that I tend to recognise and identify abusive behaviour in fictional characters and react badly to said characters. I don’t react the way I normally would to an abuser when it comes to Damon in regards to Elena. 

Now, I make this distinction because there was a relationship of Damon’s which triggered my reaction to abusive relationships and that was his early relationship with Caroline, which was textbook abusive. Caroline was raped by Damon and compelled to be under his control. He emotionally and verbally abused her by calling her names and telling her she was worthless, he controlled her by compulsion, made her do things she didn’t want to do, separated her from her friends and caused her to feel extreme trauma and fear. She was terrified of him and he made her feel unsafe, while at the same time she felt that she was attracted to him and that made her hate herself. Damon was Caroline’s abuser and treated her appallingly. But he doesn’t display this same behaviour with Elena.

Damon never rapes Elena. Her never compels her in order to physically take advantage of her (with the exception of an early Season 1 episode where he tries to make her kiss him and this is more an attack on Stefan than Elena and he never tries this again). In fact, the one time he does compel Elena is to make her forget his declaration of love because he recognises that she is with his brother, that his brother is the better man and that it would be unfair of him to put her in a position which might make her uncomfortable and divided. That’s pretty much the opposite of abuse.

Damon doesn’t physically harm Elena or threaten her the way he did Caroline. He doesn’t make her fear for her life, he doesn’t emotionally abuse or manipulate her and, as said before, he doesn’t force himself on her or rape her (physically or by compulsion). In fact, when he discovers that she’s sired to him he refuses to even kiss her until the sire bond is broken, recognising that it would be wrong to be physical with her when she has no agency. Again, pretty much the opposite of abuse. He tries to break the sire bond to set her free, not wanting her to be compelled to be with him.

Now, none of this means that Damon didn’t display some pretty shitty behaviour at times or that he never crossed lines or didn’t hurt Elena or that he was even good for her. He encouraged her to feed and kill when she became a vampire, knowing that she would feel torturous guilt over it, he allowed her to feed from him without informing her of the intimate nature of vampires drinking from one another, he turned off her humanity which allowed her to become a ruthless killer. Even before that he crossed quite a few lines such as walking around naked in front of her, lying in her bed and letting her think he was Stefan and the aforementioned attempted compulsion to get her to kiss him. But, for me, none of this constitutes abuse as none of it truly victimised Elena or traumatised her in any way. Damon’s a shit person, a bad influence and an enabler but he’s not Elena’s abuser.

Before I started watching TVD there were two incidents which I constantly heard about which antis would use to prove Damon’s abuse - the fact that he snapped Jeremy’s neck after Elena rejected him and the fact that he forced her to drink his blood so she would come back as a vampire after Klaus fed off her. What I didn’t have was the context for either scene and once I did, both scenes became vastly different to what the fandom had convinced me they were.

When antis talk about Damon snapping Jeremy’s neck because Elena rejected him, they seem to fail to take two very important factors into account - one, that just one or two episodes before, Jeremy had expressed a desire to Damon that he wanted to die, because he wanted to feel nothing, because the world was too awful and feeling nothing was better than feeling something. Damon even parrots this back when he is about to kill Jeremy and even though Jeremy has since changed his mind, Damon is so deeply identifying with what Jeremy said previously that he’s almost killing himself through the act of snapping Jeremy’s neck. He’s killing someone who, in his mind, wants to die and if he can’t give himself that freedom, he’ll damn well give it to someone else.

Secondly (and this is more important as it directly ties into Damon and Elena’s relationship and dynamic) I firmly believe that Damon snapping Jeremy’s neck was in response to Katherine rejecting him, not Elena.

Damon has always loved Katherine and always desired that she love him back, something which she did but would never admit. Earlier in the episode in question, Katherine and Damon engage in physical intimacy, during which he practically begs her to admit that she loves him, telling her that he will leave everything and everyone behind for her and be with her forever, if she will just give him what he’s always wanted - an admittance of her love. Katherine refuses and twists the knife even further by saying that it will always be Stefan, not Damon. 

This devastates Damon, to discover the woman he loved and longed for for over a century never felt the same way. So he gets drunk and goes to Elena, not to confess his love for her (because I genuinely believe that he doesn’t actually love Elena at this point) but to use her as a Katherine substitute, to somewhat desperately try to prove that someone could choose him over his brother. And - again this is important - he doesn’t react badly until Elena says the exact same words as Katherine “It will always be Stefan”. Hearing the same words which Katherine said and already in a very heightened state of emotion (remember that it’s canon in this ‘Verse that vampires feel emotions at a much more intense level than humans) Damon kind of snaps (no pun intended) and he takes it out on someone whom he believed wanted to die. 

I don’t see this as abusive towards Elena as A) she wasn’t the person harmed - Jeremy was and B) this wasn’t a response to her rejection. Was it a horrible and completely effed-up thing to do? Sure but no one’s denying that Damon’s a horrible and effed-up person. In fact, this isn’t the last time he snaps someone’s neck because he’s pissed off (poor Alaric). And Elena is rightly angry at him for a decent time afterwards. But, again, this action doesn’t victimise Elena it victimisies Jeremy and it wasn’t Damon trying to force Elena to love him or him reacting to her rejection and as such I don’t think it counts against the relationship. Also, given that, like, two episodes later Jeremy’s trying to get “Big Brother” advice from Damon, I think it’s fine that Elena eventually forgives him, given how easily Jeremy - the actual victim - moved on.

Now, regarding Damon to force Elena to drink his blood. First of all, I find it very interesting that no where did I ever read or discover that Stefan also forces Elena to drink his blood with the intention of turning her into a vampire, and he does it in just as violent and forceful a manner as Damon - possibly even worse given that he does it at the site of her biggest trauma and then threatens to drive her off a bridge, the same bridge where her parents died. And he does all to piss of Klaus. He threatened to kill the woman he supposedly loves just to get revenge on Klaus. 

Damon, on the other hand, is trying to save Elena’s life. I’ve seen a lot of antis saying that Delena shippers shouldn’t use that as an excuse but my response is why not? People do crazy, stupid and reckless things when someone they love is in danger. Stefan agreed to follow Klaus and kill countless people just to save Damon’s life and no one is running around screaming about that. What Damon did by feeding Elena his blood did cross a line and took away her agency but he was desperate and trying to keep someone he deeply cared about alive at whatever cost. I don’t really understand how anyone could fully fault him for that.

As for why I enjoy the dynamic, maybe because it’s just so interesting. Damon and Elena have a connection from very early on in the series. Elena is one of the first people to actually see and acknowledge Damon’s emotions and losses. She expresses sympathy towards him when she learns that he also loved Katherine and Damon’s expression when she does says it all - he’s never had anyone consider him before. Everyone has always focused on Stefan, no one has fully considered Damon’s suffering. But Elena does.

There’s something dark and twisted about Damon and Elena. You can see how much she’s drawn to him, even when she’s with Stefan and, as Rose points out in Season 3, Damon challenges her and her worldview. He pushes her and brings out darker, more emotional responses in her. When she becomes a vampire, he is the only one to allow her to give in to her darker, vampire urges. One of my absolute favourite scenes in the whole series is Damon and Elena feeding, getting high off blood and dancing. It’s seductive and dark and oh so very vampire-y. I love that Elena can give into those darker urges with Damon, even if it’s not necessarily good for her.

Wow, that got really long. Hope it was coherent and cleared things up for you!

#delena #tvd #tvd meta #the vampire diaries #we pay for everything #answered #Anonymous #meta

[a-rain-atherapy]

so ... applying for jobs right now, pretty scary

the amount of hoops I gotta jump through for even a basic entry level position.... damn

me being in the do-nothing, go-home club since forever means I'm mostly outta fucking luck unless I wanna dip into like customer service or physical labor, or settle for something shitty with little to no benefits...or go farther yuck.

cousins have mentioned getting new jobs recently, edd is requiring job searches, all this is just making me feel super ...anxious I guess...

the thought of putting in significant effort with little to no results really fucking terrifies me. it's nerve-wracking. I feel like I can't, like I shouldn't. It's not justifiable to put hope in something that isn't guaranteed. and therefore not justifiable to put effort into something uncertain.

comparing myself to others is no good, yes I know that. everyone goes at their own pace, yes I know that. I should take things one at a time, yes I know that. I should apply always since they use requirements as a kind of screening, yes I know that. but it feels wrong?

man. being a quiet, low effort kid in school fucking rearing it's ugly repercussions hydra heads at me.

reminds me of this one time in elementary, we were asked to write down our goals, ie. what we expected coming in, what we did, and what we hope to learn next year. and me, not thinking not planning not hoping for anything in elementary school, just fucking put down nothing for all 3 columns. I honestly don't know what the fuck they expected elementary school kids to want to learn in elementary school. who tf had like object permanence and had a plan for their school days??? not this kid, that's who.

I got in trouble with the teacher. go figure. can't remember what they said, but they got another teacher to look at my nothing columns and got angry at me for whatever reason. made me take it home and "redo it" and get my parents signature to prove I did it or shame me or something? fucking hated that teacher like wtf was I supposed to put there.? like 'oh yeah I totally hoped to learn about deep sea animals and shapes and how weather works'?????? and 'i only learned about volcanos and Greek gods and something else' so hopefully next year I'll learn 'about the reproductive system and mental illness and physical disability'????????????????????

100% anger even tho I'm supposed to be upset about my stupid lack of job and how I need to find a decent job but have almost no relevant skills and have a really low effort-tolerance level

like fuck I want an office job where I can sit all day ugghhhhhh but most office jobs for beginners are customer service which I guess I can do? hate speaking but if I gotta I guess??? the thing about cs/front desk staff is that they apparently have to do so many other things too? and need like more skills?

would I be upset if I became like a clerk or something? probably no. but family would be disappointed I think and would constantly push me to find a different job in a career path. just wanna be a bum and play games all day this fucking sucks

#rainy rambles #this got really long really fast for a rant #mmm yikes job application fead #really hope that tag says fear and not like fead or something bullshit #bah. buh. dotjpeg. lossdotpng. idk what other shit id put in tags #let me just upload my entire anxiety and depression thoughts in seventy nine dotpdf attatchments in the forms of memes and saved dotpngs #cant believe theres a 140 character limit to a tag #hit it like 2 tags ago was surprised didnt realise there were tag limits #that makes sense realistcally since i guess no one expected people to talk in yheir tags #once again. bah.

[biserker-kadan]

About the Character;

I was tagged by @goblin-deity @red-wardens and @occorner 💕 so I'm gonna do 3! (This might be pretty long)

This really is years late, whoops.

― your muse’s name:

Myrinah Alwyn Lavellan

Myrinah is actually just an edited version of Myrina which refers to Queen of the Amazons which I love! I wanted my first Elven warrior to have a strong name and it just really fit. Her middle name is Alwyn, which is her fathers first name and is Welsh in origin.

― one favourite picture / faceclaim of your muse:

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

Long after Inquisition is over and Corypheus and Solas have been delt with, Myrinah kind of drops off the grid. Only a handful of people know what she's doing and have a vague idea of where she is. Cause she's wandering! She goes off, a grown ass dragon with her and a few essential items and just walks. She catches rides of boats, works as best she can, where she can - climbs the highest mountains and hikes through lush forests with Pup flying high above. She writes letters to her loves and her family but in her 'retirement', she goes and explores on her own.

In my 'Modern AU' Myrinah is always a detective, like always. I can't really see her doing anything else. She could also be a DA, mostly cause I really love the idea of Myrinah straight up wearing a boss ass pant-suit with like a lacy bralette thingy underneath a suit jacket and a pair of killer heels in court, just destroying the other lawyer and playing up to the jury.

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Gardening! Myrinah, my little bitter baby absolutely loves gardening and planting little flowers and especially making daisy chains. It takes her back to her childhood, stopping for a quick lunch; Elders doing their own things and a handful of children running around, little babies and mothers laying in the grass, soaking up the sun and Myrinah, sitting calmly just making daisy chains.

Hunting, or specifically Dragon Hunting. She loves it, the thrill of a fight. A challenge that pushes her to her very own limits. Something that takes effort, both of which come from tracking and the actual fighting. She enjoys all of it. Plus it's a great way for her to work on her anger.

Sleeping. Let's be honest, everyone knows that the Inquisitior probably sleeps like shit. That's not a lie, it's a goddamn fact and Myrinah is no different. Which is why, when she has the time? She likes to settle beneath her covers (usually in Cullen's bed), light a few subtlety scented candles and close her eyes with the gentle breeze and fading sunlight on her face and pass. the fuck. out.

― seven people your muse loves / likes:

Iron Bull, Cullen, Vivienne, Riddick (OC), Dorian, Cole, Varric

Myrinah is close with her companions and appreciates them all, but she does have her favourites. She loves Iron Bull and Cullen, romantically, and Vivienne is her absolutely favourite person in the entire world. Riddick is her best friend (another OC of mine) and she treats Dorian like a kid brother, which annoys the shit out of him of course. Cole she treats as family, because he is in a way. He's someone Myrinah knows understands her and she does everything and all she can to make sure he's all good and Varric is probably the only normal person in the group who doesn't treat her like the be all or end all. She likes having a friend who simply wants to be a friend.

― a phobia your muse has:

Myrinah is afraid of nugs. She hates them, they terrify her and she would be happy if they weren't a real thing.

― your muse’s name:

Aliyah Hissera Adaar

Aliyah's first name means 'exalted or heavens' and was a gift from her Ma - a name outside the Qun, a representation that they really were free and able to own themselves. Of course, her middle name 'Hissera' is the Qunlat word for Hope and her Ma thought it was fitting considering little Aliyah was her hope.

― one favourite picture / faceclaim of your muse:

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

She's actually the baby of one of my old Inquisitiors and her mother was Adaar. Her Father is more of an OC at this point, whereas her Mother died when she was very young. In an AU I have she was taken in by a Mercenary Captain and trained up from her teens until the Inquisition. She's probably a little younger in canon compared to that AU.

She's wicked strong, and not in the 'oh I can lift this much' but in the 'I can hold this bow and arrow, pulled back, for as long as I need without breaking a sweat or getting tired'. She's also got wicked aim and constantly pulls incredible moves out of her ass in battle. She and Sera like to have little arrow competitions in Skyhold when they're bored.

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Waking up early to watch the sunrise. This one sounds stupid, but it was a tradition she had with her Ma. Whenever they could, they'd get up a little earlier, put some tea on and rug up before walking as far as they wanted before settling in to watch the sunrise. Whenever she doesn't have a pressing, urgent matter to attend to - that's what she likes to do now (except now she also writes letters to her Dad).

Baking. Aliyah has a massive sweet tooth, like it's a problem? So much so that the cook refuses to make her anything sweet so now she does it herself! Aliyah finds it oddly calming too, there's something really methodical and calming about baking that makes the payoff even more sweeter.

Archery? I feel like this one should be obvious cause she an Archer Rogue, but for reference, archery in general is something Aliyah absolutely loves. Especially when she's in her own zone, in the training yard at Skyhold just constantly hitting dead centre. It's beautiful.

― seven people your muse loves / likes:

Iron Bull, Josephine, Sera, Dorian, Leliana, Cole, Vivienne

Aliyah is like, basically married to Iron Bull so she likes him well enough, Josephine is like family - Aliyah adores her, and Sera is a good friend (they seem like unlikely friends but they're pretty well at balancing each other out). Dorian is her best friend, someone she trusts unconditionally, which is a little scary but he's smart and caring and her closest friend and she loves him. Leliana terrifies her and Aliyah thinks the world of her, she's scary smart and calculated but having one conversation was enough to convince her that Leliana is the sweetest. Aliyah thinks Cole is sweet, if a little confused and misguided. She likes talking with him. Vivienne reminds her of her first Merc Captain - Strong, firm but fair and always the smartest person in the room. They have wonderful talks.

― a phobia your muse has:

Aliyah isn't so much afraid as grossed out by purple foods? It's an odd 'phobia' but she will literally not eat anything purple or anything that's touched a purple food and will not sit at a table with purple food on it. She thinks it's just gross and unnatural.

― your muse’s name:

Frey - -

Frey technically does have a middle name and a last name but she doesn't really use it or mention it or acknowledge it even. If we're getting technical, Frey chose her own name as her Mama always calls her Kasaanda and her Pa calls her his little Elgara.

(Kasaanda = 'Sundew' - a carnivorous plant, and Elgara = 'Sun')

― one favourite picture / faceclaim of your muse:

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

Frey speaks nearly 6 languages, is fluent in 3, can write in 2 and read in 4. She's fluent in the Common Tongue, Antivan and Orlesian but can also speak Qunlat, Rivaini and Tevene extremely well. Qunlat especially. She also knows a little Elvish, but growing up outside of a Clan or without an Elder (not including her father), it's mostly limited to phrases and specific words.

Frey is an expert Storm Mage, extremely dangerous when it comes to lightning and 'purple fire'. She trains in all the schools of magic, especially with Vivienne, Dorian and her Mama. Her Mama is especially hard on her when it comes to more primal based magic whereas Dorian handles the Inferno aspects and Vivienne helps her with Winter, Spirit and becoming a Knight Enchanter.

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Climbing. Frey loves to climb and explore Skyhold and old ruins and castles. She loves to push herself to climb rocky mountain sides and faces, caves and the likes. She'll leave Skyhold in the morning with a few essential items and return at night with bruises and scrapes but feeling a lot less tense and antsy.

Painting/drawing. Frey loves to paint and draw, she really does. Even if it's just doodling on some paper with some ink whilst are the war table or if she's actually set up a canvas on her balcony and going ham at it. Painting is something she does to calm her mind and express whatever she's feeling.

Arguing. Ok, so maybe it's less of a hobby then the others but Frey will actively seek out people to 'argue' with when she's bored and it is 100% one of her favourite things to do. It's mostly just banter and petty quarrels and such but it's a lot of fun to argue with someone and Frey enjoys having arguments and debated shit.

― seven people your muse loves / likes:

Solas (debatable), Iron Bull, Vivienne, Leliana, Cole, Josephine, Dorian

Frey has odd relationships with both Solas and Iron Bull (doubled depending on whom she's romancing per Canon) but they also mean a lot to her regardless. Iron Bull kind of takes her under his wing, teaching her a bit more about her Qunari Heritage as well as making sure she can defend herself without magic whereas Solas speaks with her about Elves and has lengthy discussions about everything and anything. Vivienne is like a very sweet, very tough Aunt? Frey isn't quite sure where to place Vivienne to be quite frank, but she loves the older mage without a doubt. Leliana is the funniest and alongside Josephine they talk shit like it's nobodies business. Frey loves them like sisters. Cole is a mystery, but his brain is fascinating and when she gets over that - he's a very sweet, often misguided individual whom she appreciates dearly and Dorian? An absolute shit. Sometimes she likes to hide behind the bookshelves and throw books at him to make him jump. Other times they bounce magical theory off each other until the suns up for the next day. He's definitely family at this point.

― a phobia your muse has:

Frey is afraid of failure, that's the bottom line. She's constantly stressing herself out because she's terrified of slipping up and causing irrefutable damage and failing. She doesn't ever want to put people in horrible situations that could be avoided and she hates that she thinks like that.

#this took me yeARS #ts dragon age ocs #dragon age inquisition #ts frey #myrinah lavellan #aliyah adaar #my babies #this was in my drafts for ages and i finally finished it #thanks for this btw #i enjoyed finally fleshing out some babies #dragon age #dragon age ocs #ts oc asks

[agirlnamedally]

Allyyyy I start hsc on Monday and I'm supppppeeer nervous. I have been studying a lot but ofc enjoying my time with everyone at the library and talking etc. I'm stressing about my atar bc I really want to get in to social work bc I really wanna help people :((((( I wanna do psych but it's 99!!!!!

My tips for anyone starting Year 12/HSC/Senior Year:

Know that it’s perfectly normal to be nervous! I’m pretty sure I was scared to start VCE from Year 7 onwards, it always seemed like this giant, scary, looming monster that would destroy my happiness and suck out my soul like a dementor. Mostly, I just assumed I would have no free time, wouldn’t be able to keep up with the workload, and would fail absolutely everything.

Then, something funny happened. Year 11 came around and I realised… nothing had changed. The work might have been harder, but I had done the required training (aka Years 7-10) and was fully equipped with the skills to handle it. The transition from Year 10 to Year 11, and then again from 11 to 12, is really not that significant or scary! Your workload might increase a tiny bit, because (and in hindsight now I can look back and 100% support this) practice really does make perfect. Teachers don’t make you write 100 essays because they hate you and want you to be miserable or have no social life, it’s because they want you to be a good writer, but more than that, they know that the more essays you write, the easier it will be for you to write one come exam time. It will be less stressful, less terrifying and so much simpler to just regurgitate a piece of writing you’ve practically memorised because you’ve ingrained it into your memory throughout the year. That’s just an example for say English or Literature, but I think the same thing applies for all subjects, no matter how you’re tested. Practice makes perfect. Or at least, practice makes progress, haha.

Now, ATARs. Those finicky little bastards. I’m not going to tell you to forget about it, because I know that when I was in the midst of VCE it was always on my mind. I even had older kids, who had already graduated, constantly telling me how insignificant it was and that it wouldn’t matter one year from now, but I didn’t believe any of that. Now, looking back, I know that they were right. In terms of measuring your intelligence or potential for future career success, ATARs mean nothing. No matter what score you get, I promise you, you can go on and be anything you want to be in life. There will always be obstacles and challenges between you and your dreams, but if you want something and you’re willing to work hard and be nice to others, nothing can stop you. The only difference an ATAR can make is the journey and how you go about it. The only thing an ATAR determines is which course you might do. You might have your heart set on a dream course with a super high ATAR. If you want to shoot for that, go for it! Just know that if your number is lower, there are still ways to pursue it. You can take a gap year, travel, discover the world and find out who you are, uncover your passions, gain some experience. Do a TAFE course, start somewhere else, transfer. Defer it, reject it, volunteer somewhere, change your entire perspective on life, completely change directions. You still have the choice. Unis will often accept someone who didn’t get a first or second round offer initially as a mid-year enrolment, or you could do a semester or two somewhere else and then jump across and hopefully they’ll let you keep those credits under your belt. You may not even want to go to uni! There are many many options and paths you can take, don’t let a number limit or define your future.

Personally, I knew I wanted to further my education but wasn’t entirely set on any particular existing occupation. I knew my two favourite subjects were Psychology and Health and Human Development, but that I also enjoyed writing for English, so I could envision myself happily doing something that encompassed those things. For me, an Arts degree was the perfect choice because it allows you to dip your toes into many different areas of study, test the waters of various fields before arriving at a favourite – your major. The course I most had my heart set on had a pretty high entry score, one which I actually thought I had no possible chance of achieving, but I set it as my goal anyway because as I was so undecided, I didn’t want to ‘limit myself’ (typical Year 12 brain thinking). It worked out wonderfully for me, somehow I found the drive and ended up doing a lot better than I’d expected, really surprising myself (and probably everyone else) and guaranteeing a spot in the course. However, I wholeheartedly believe that had I not achieved the score I did, had I gone to a different university or course, or even taken some time off from studying, I would be just as happy. I would have found another way to continue learning, whether it be by sitting in a lecture theatre or travelling to see it myself. I could have enrolled in a different course, disappointed in myself and thinking it was only temporary, and ended up LOVING it. Maybe even more than this course! Who knows? These are the kinds of ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s that make my brain want to explode. Being a human can be exhausting.

Whether you have a goal course you’re hoping to get entry for, a dream uni, hopes of studying abroad, a plan to defer for a year or no desire to study at all – but they’re all okay and all achievable! No matter what it is you want in life, there are ways to get there. Not just one, but limitless varying courses of action you can follow. One might be more direct, but it might also be more boring, or less challenging. It might grow you less as a person, or prevent you from meeting some really interesting people that another path will introduce you to.

Year 12 is an awesome time. It can be stressful, overwhelming, demanding, sleepless. It can invoke self-doubt, nostalgia, fear of plummeting into the depths of the unknown (your future) and leaving behind the safety and security of routine (your past). However, it can also be rewarding, exciting, bonding, enriching, growing and deliriously fun. I say delirious because there will definitely be times when you and your friends are so overcome with work and anxiety that you just have to laugh. Misery loves company and Year 12 is proof of that. Study dates are perfect for simultaneously motivating each other and collectively crying into the bowl of chocolate you just devoured. I’m probably not painting the best picture here, but seriously, it can be a terrific time.

If I could give you one piece of advice for entering VCE, it’s to maintain a balance. Balance in life is the key here, because otherwise you will either burn out from too much studying, fall behind from not enough, get sick from not taking care of yourself, or something else just as un-fun. When you’re studying, dedicate proportionate amounts of time or energy to subjects depending on their current level of significance. If possible, do assignments as soon as you get them, but prioritise the ones that are due first or worth the most. More importantly, ensure you have balance throughout your whole life, holistically. It’s just as important to take care of your mental, social and physical well-being as it is to reach your education goals. Make the time to keep active, even if it seems like there is none. I can’t even tell you how beneficial it is to get outside, clear your head and get your heart rate up. Endorphins are your best friend and a powerful stress-buster, so keep a pair of runners at the ready. If you’re not a fan of solo workouts, can’t stay motivated or simply don’t enjoy it, I highly recommend joining a team sport! In fact, I recommend this for everyone, because it’s beneficial to your mental, social and physical health. All at once. Plus there’s the accountability factor – you can’t just skip the workout or hit snooze when you don’t feel like it  - you made a commitment and your teammates are counting on you! Honestly being a part of a group like that will make you feel so needed or wanted, and it’s great to make new friends or connect with like-minded people. SPORT RULES. Taking care of your physical health also means nourishing your body with the right foods, getting enough sleep and drinking plenty of water – all the basics. Back to balance – it’s also essential to dedicate time to doing things just for you. Bubble baths are a great choice, there’s also reading, meditation, getting a massage or mani-pedi, having a movie night, seeing a friend, anything that makes you feel relaxed, happy and at peace. These are the things that keep you going! Imagine a pie chat, split into 3 sections. One section is school and schoolwork, one is health and fitness, and the last is dedicated to me-time or fun activities. The three sections represent mental, physical and social wellbeing = all equally important and necessary for not only success, but holistic health in general. If you’re feeling stressed out, look at which of the three sections might be out of balance. Are you not getting enough sleep? Have too much on your plate? Need some alone time? Not fuelling your brain and body with enough or the right nutrition? Try to keep these things in check and remind yourself that they’re all significant and deserving of your attention.

Most of all, know that VCE is completely unique to your own experience. Like karma, you will get out only what you put in. You can make it an easy time, just for socialising and blowing off class, you can dedicate 110% of yourself to studying every waking hour, never lose a mark and never see anyone else, OR you can have the best of both worlds and strike that beautiful, sweet balance.

Decide what your own goals are. Make your own rules. Ask yourself what motivates you, and then go after it. Use this time to challenge yourself, grow as a person and exceed any expectations, limitations or barriers that have been set by anyone – including and especially yourself. It’s an exciting time that you should definitely make the most of, because it will be over before you know it. I know it’s hard, but try to forget about ATARs, or at least diminish the all-mighty power and holy-grail presence that it can take. It’s just a number. If you try your best, that’s all you need to do. I have complete faith in you anon, 

YOU CAN DO IT :D