the nhs be like
me in march: hi i have moved here from australia, i have been on testosterone since 2018 on a 3-monthly injection and i have a letter from my aussie gp to verify this and that i have been linked in with a psych and endo since then too and i just need a prescription continuation of my treatment. my next shot is due in june and i cant be late
gp: ok :) i have to make a referral to the nearest gender clinic and theyll be in touch and i'll send them the letter from the aussie gp
me: ok thanks
gender clinic a week later: hi we got your referral + letter but we need some more info
me: okay heres some more info
gender clinic: no thats not enough info we need your entire history including your Diagnosis TM from the psych as a letter + recent bloods arent enough. but once we get those we can streamline you through as a review patient so youre not on the waitlist
me after a fuss between me and the aussie gp due to email troubles: ok heres all the documents they have on my file im about a month overdue i need my shot asap
gender gp: thanks we will be in touch asap
*silence for over a month*
me: hey when am i going to be seen to? im nearly 2 months overdue for my t shot
gender clinic: weve had a high amount of referrals and youre on the waitlist so youre just gonna have to wait
me: :}
*another month of silence*
gender clinic: hi so thank you for sending those documents over, since you have already been on hrt since 2018 you dont actually need our services so we're discharging you and we're gonna write a letter to your gp explaining this and that she can prescribe the dose as recommended on our website
me:.....okay well....what do i have to do now?
gender clinic: im gonna write up a letter to send to your gp and they will be in contact with you to arrange an appointment and you can get your hrt easily like that
me: *on the brink of having a mental fucking breakdown cuz of being 3 months overdue for my hrt and all of the hormonal and physical changes that have left me feeling unbearably distressed and anxious and su1cidal and all the other fucking stressors that have come from this* okay......thanks :}
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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend
my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.
but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)
on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.
and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(
you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth
and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!
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do you have any favorite fanfics involving grovyle, dusknoir, & celebi, either shipping or platonic? 🥺
In fact, I have some! Perhaps if I hadn't found them I'd be a bit more sane now, alas...
So the next three are all from the same author and are my favourites from PMD (although I havent looked for Grovyle/Celebi or Dusknoir/Celebi alone, idk if someone has some recommendations for those). Still, tho, here is what I've read.
One more adventure
https://archiveofourown.org/works/48325621
Platonic future trio (tho the author has stated that they can see the shipping happening lol). I like this one especially bc of the Celebi appreciation, she's the POV and has added lore abour her crucial role in keeping the dark future stable and helping to fix it. Also great dusknoir and grovyle characterization, but that's a given with this author.
The next three are actaeon (Dusknoir/Grovyle), so Celebi barely appears or has relevance. It's a shame, but they're still
some of my fav fics.
Stars that shine https://archiveofourown.org/works/33070633
ABSOLUTE FAV. IVE REREAD IT LIKE 20 TIMES. ONE OF THE MOMENTS TOWARDS THE END LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE. Btw you can ignore the tags, its not as grim as it sounds lol. No spoilers but this fic is the fic ever. Also Dusknoir is so in love in this one it hurts lmao. I sketched some fanart for this fic i need to clean it and post it.......this fic deserves it.....
Together we'll be heroes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/37172176/chapters/92737780
This one is also actaeon, but theres also focus on Hero/Partner. It's a retelling of EoS through snippets of Hero, Partner, Grovyle and Dusknoir's PoV, and is really well narrated. While i was put off at first by the idea of a retelling of the game, I was pleasantly surprised by how entertaining the story and characters are! ts unfinished, and unfortunately ends before the story progresses much beyond the plot of the game, however the part of the story that is set in post game is precious. and it also has my favourite thing ever, that is, future trio not knowing what the hell to do with their lives now that theyre not dead.
It's not unfounded
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630209
This one is not from the same author, but it's also short and sweet, and it even inspired one of my posta about future trio (the one with grovyle's "tail" wagging xd). Maybe it can get a bit too "fanfic-y" at times, but I still enjoyed it a lot. Its basically actaeon hurt/comfort and discussing what their future is gonna be now the the world is back on track and on its way to healing.
So yeah those are the ones I've read and enjoyed lmao. If you've looked for pmd fics before you might have already read them, since there arent a lot of fics and these are all well tagged and all.
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Ok ok ok I'm not Tryna start discourse but bluestars prophecy was my first ever warriors book and bluestar will always be my favourite so I'm gonna make some counterpoints to you about her being a Smajor character
bluestar has always been led by an intense loyalty and dedication to those she loves and cares for - this includes her mum, her sister, her clan, eventually Firepaw when he joins the clan, and she has a VERY strong moral compass when it comes to doing the right thing - when she sees thistleclaw teaching tigerpaw to hurt a then baby scourge she very much discourages it and is against it
Afaik scott is Not like that, he doesn't have an emotional or love-driven moral code, he does things because they're smart decisions in the long term or because he wants to. Granted I havent seen a ton of his stuff but I have seen his limited life and 3rd life perspectives and he is very much a singular team player there, there to look after himself and well if people align with him that's great he's got allies (jimmy and Martyn) but he won't go out of his way to care for them
Bluestars defiance of starclan in the first series is BECAUSE she gave herself to them and what the warrior code demanded so much - yes she broke clan rules by having kids with crookedstar but she did everything in her power to make sure they'd have a happy life and felt terrible that thrushpelt was willing to say they were his to save her reputation. She didn't do it out of a selfish want, she only ever wanted to help her clan and those she loved, and her becoming clan leader is emblematic of that want. When she rejects starclan so wholeheartedly in the first series it's because THINGS KEEP GOING WRONG WHEN SHES TRIED SO HARD TO STOP THEM FROM DOING THAT - starclan has never cared about the sacrifices she made to keep her loved ones and clan safe, she lost her mother, her sister, her kits, her mate, literally everything, and things STILL KEEP GETTING WORSE. it's not a demand that she deserves to have everything good, it's a cry for help that shouldn't something go right after she's tried so hard???
C!Scott isn't like that. He puts himself above others and inherently believes he will get the best if he just plays his cards right, and he is good at it, he's very competent at lasting a long time in life series and getting what he wants - the ruthlessness of gem driven by desperation kills him in secret life, Martyn's complete fucking about face kills him in limited life, and I'm pretty sure it's etho who gets him out in 3rd life by luck. He doesn't plan to look after the ones he cares about, because he cares about himself first and foremost. Yeah you can argue when he doesn't get what he wants he gets annoyed, but his is less of a 'why don't I get this don't I deserve it' and more of a 'oh fuck this didn't work. Ok new plan double down on getting what I want by appeasing to people cos they're easy to read and therefore account for'
I don't doubt Scott would make a bluestar adjacent character if he made a warrior cats oc BUT his character would honestly be closer to darktail or ashfur than bluestar and that's that on that.
(sorry you activated 13 year old me's unskippable cutscene sjdjsjsjja this isnt meant to be a serious argument I just love bluestar a lot and love talking about her)
OKAY 1. this is fucking awesome thank you 2. i am going to do something new and exciting (advocate for scott instead of beating him to death with sticks) because unfortunately this bluestar info has only made me believe she is a smajor character even more.
As a general note when I talk about smajor characters as a collective here I’m referring to characters more in the realm of esmp/traffic/rats/pirates/etc, less vampire scott or necromancer scott who are intended to be villainous.
Scott characters tend to operate under a “If I am not a Good Person I may as well die” rule, and consequently abide by a strict moral code to keep themselves feeling clean. For instance: traffic Scott will never go back on his word, he will avoid dishonesty, and he won’t take from others unless he is sure that he can repay them. He will never betray his seasonal primary ally (even when they betray him first), and will often give people things just because they asked him nicely. He stakes a lot of his own identity on this, because it is through being a “good person” that he justifies his superiority (and, by extension, his own existence); in his mind he deserves the best and *is* the best because he is such a good person. When things don’t go his way, he thinks he doesn’t deserve it because he has been nothing but good, so he tries to place a reason. He often assumes that somebody must “have a vendetta” against him, even if this somebody is the world (see: him asking if limlife episode 1 boogeyman is some kind of joke played on him for not giving in to the boogey curse in Last Life.) which is very Bluestar to me, convinced that her misfortunes are a divine punishment.
This is all to say that Scott does have a strict moral code and deep sense of loyalty. Being a “good person” and devoted partner in the ways he understands it are so ingrained into what he is that I think he definitely has the capacity to be a Bluestar if he were raised being taught clan values, even if his internal systems are often built around never letting gross emotions be fully felt rather than what those emotions compel him to do.
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hate teacher.
so angry.
he told me my 6 months worth of work has to be scrapped and entirely redone in 2 weeks. thats literally impossible. i am the tiniest inconvenience away from having an entire meeting with him to read him a 5 page essay on how he has been of no help this entire semester and last and how he has done nothing but inconvenience me all year.
hes seen the work many times before but only brought up the issue now. 2 weeks before a progress report. He told me the thing hes been having me work on for an entire month cant be part of my progress report because its not specific enough.
IF THIS WAS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM HE WOULD HAVE ALREADY KNOWN AND HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE I WAS 6 MONTHS IN.
he blatantly holds favoritism as every other student (they all happen to be cis men) get all the help in the world yet i get no help at all and when he tells me i have to scrap all my work he doesnt even point me in the right direction just says redo it you have 2 weeks.
this is a group project but every other group is doing one project with all people working together yet mine is doing one project each person meaning i cant even get assistance. two of the people in my group HAVE NOT SPOKEN A WORD TO ME SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR.
he is also needlessly rude. instead of just politely saying there might be an issue he feels the need to make me feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. I am half convinced this man finds joy in publicly humiliating and shaming me in any way possible. You are a grown ass man what the actual fuck. You are in your god damn 50s.
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serenading was really the last thing i ever wanted Kate to do as her grand gesture and i still don’t love it, but the amount of people who keep calling a big, awkward, public gesture hugely ooc for Kate and keep saying they miss the old whistler who wasn't dumb, oh DIA Whistler was so much better. its the show’s first season. i don’t think it’s even possible to be ooc when the writers are just starting to create these characters and we barely know them. we only saw ‘cool, confident, bossy dia whistler’ for about 6 episodes before 1x11 happened and changed everything, and while she’s still all of those things she was changing even before the breakup happened and with all the growth she’s gone through, she’s going to end the season looking pretty different to how she started (fair warning, this is a little unhinged and unorganized, just a little)
her arc has been about her learning to let people in and learning to be more honest with her feelings, to not be afraid of putting herself out there and learning how to stop pushing people away as a result of the impact Lucy and the team have had on her. it’s about making yourself vulnerable and trying to find people who will accept you even if you’re an awkward giraffe. throughout the season the writers have been telling us that she: finds it hard to be open and show her emotions, she puts her orders before her feelings at work causing everyone to view her as the ‘bad cop’ and that sucks, she really wants to make connections with her coworkers, but she doesn’t know how and she’s kinda bad at it, she was afraid of starting something with Lucy (and messing it up) because Lucy’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met and she wanted to keep it on the downlow until she felt she could handle it, is actually very charming and sensitive and goofy underneath that hardened exterior
there’s a reason Ernie describes her as “the tall one acting goofy,” she tries to keep her relationship with Lucy a secret and yet you can see her softening as a result of it and being unable to hide their connection and pull to each other even at work. Jesse notices they’re making googly eyes at each other during the Pearl Harbor tour in 1x09 and remarks that “there’s a certain DIA officer i haven’t seen around your desk recently,” because she couldn’t fight the gravitational pull drawing her to Lucy’s desk everyday, literally the worst kept secret at the office you morons! In 1x12 she’s sprinting after Lucy practically shouting after her (loud enough for all of Pearl Harbor to hear) even when she’s asking if Lucy’s going to throw their relationship away that easily. Kate gets a pass with Jane because how can you pretend you don’t care about Lucy after she could’ve died on an UC mission and as for Kai, well, he has two eyes so he definitely noticed too
the Whistler in 1x01 would definitely not be going over to Tennant’s house after 1x14 and sharing a drink with her (might not have warned her about Glenn Smith either) and maybe she wouldn’t have tried comforting her when Jesse went missing in 1x15 (not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but maybe it would have been harder without all the stuff that happened in between as a result of the Lucy romance) and that’s growth baby!
as for her acting ‘dumb’ and goofy, whistler’s greatest hits (paraphrased):
1x07: the entire opening scene right in front of Ernie's coffee, like ladies its barely 9 in the morning
1x09: “i want to be intimate” “here???”
1x11: "i like this" "the coffee? its fair trade." "so i think i win the dumbass award." "yes...no! NO!"
1x14: “creds... that’s what all the cool agents say :)”
1x17: “the source of the attack was some sort of pineapple” “like the fruit?” (also forgetting she never apologized to Lucy)
1x20: while looking like a beaten bloody piñata “I’m fine just some bruises...and some minor head trauma...” “i did not have Lucy surf quotes on my bingo card today”
1x21: “about the power of love!” -silence- “...anyway i think that’ll help us get through to David” (we were all raving about this scene and how cute it was, but we don't want to acknowledge all the work it took to get here?)
The writers have been showing it all season, this is just who she is the more you get to know her, not liking it is different than ooc
Kate just sucks at talking and processing her emotions on the spot and can’t always immediately formulate a response right away whether you’re her boss or her colleague or her ex girlfriend (she ghosted a girl for months for god’s sakes which is probably honestly where most of the ‘this feels ooc for Kate’ criticism comes from and it’s hard to blame anyone for that because wth Kate, but it also serves as the biggest indictment of how her lack of social skills has effected her life and now it’s finally catching up to her)
a lot of people call Whistler rushing in without thought or backup to be ooc, and while they’ve shown that she’s smart and good at thinking things through (figuring out a way to help the team in 1x06, with the Clark Lohan thing in 1x10, using David's wife’s fate as leverage to get through to him in 1x21), that’s been behind the scenes we never saw her do field work during her stint at the DIA so there’s nothing really to base the ooc claim on, the first time we see her in the field is in 1x17 (she only transferred to the FBI 3 episodes ago) when she rushes in and Lucy has to stop her so it’s not out of the ordinary for her to do something similar in 1x20 at Agent Jones’s house, Whistler in the office and Whistler out in the field are different because they’re different environments entirely (and she’s new to the field)
i dont think the people calling Whistler ooc for acting goofy and socially inept would call her ooc for turning down a promotion anywhere from 1x06-1x13 to stay close to Lucy after early Whistler was billed as ambitious and career-driven (but i guess it’s different because it’s romantic without being awkward...), if we’re going to throw that term out there we should examine all her actions that way not just the one’s we maybe don’t like
you can criticize the writing and the show all you want we all have different opinions we’re not all going to agree on how good Whistler’s development has gone, but i don’t think it’s fair to say any public grand gesture or Kate acting ‘dumb’ is completely out of left field, yes she was more cold and distant and mean earlier (and maybe you preferred that way more) but as the show has progressed you get to see a different more shy, uncertain, dorky side of her and that's not ooc that's just how humans are
she’s been slowly stepping out of her comfort zone all season and Lucy’s influence on her has inspired her to finally make a running jump into the deep end to win her back because she loves her and that’s how much she means to her (my favorite post about the grand gesture written before we knew it was a singing gesture LOL) that's the whole point isn't it? the power of love! has changed Whistler! she's never felt this way about anyone before and is clearly woefully inexperienced in love, she misses Lucy and wants to win her back no matter what so she's willing to listen to anything and do anything to show her she's all in and wants to be with her and only her! love makes us do crazy things, but it makes sense after a season of pain and regret
unfortunately for some people, Kate also happens to be less competent socially so that’s going to manifest in truly awkward (and secondhand embarrassing) ways, but she’s always been capable of this because she’s a multifaceted character and the writers have been showing us that
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