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#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him
girlcrushau · 1 month
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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lotornomiko · 4 years
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Dark Enchanted Forest AU That I don't Yet Have A Title For Chapter Two (worksafe)
Still hasn’t reached the dark fic level....but warnings as with chapter one, this WILL have some non con/forced seduction/rape and other dark themes...but not in this chapter!!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26137747/chapters/63588682
It was never more brilliant than in moments like this, the light alive in her green eyes, and burning with an open defiance. With that desperate anger, and an inner borne strength, it left the Darkness with no doubts about just what it was dealing with.
“Beautiful…” It breathed out the word with a tongue long unused to such flattering words, the Dark more intimately familiar with uttering vile promises, and snarling with rage. But then it had never had real reason for much of anything else, everything so weak and unworthy when compared to this. The vision with that glow about her, the small super nova of pure and unabashed light that once seen could never be forgot. Nor did it want to, the dark transfixed by the light, by its wholesome purity and natural warmth.
It left the Dark One wanting to bask in its presence, to curl up and around it like a dragon hoarding its greatest treasure. It wanted MORE than that, the darkness needing to take so fully from the light as to devour it from shining head to delectable toe. Possessive to a fault, the dark creature wanted to OWN this light, every last inch of it, from the inside out, to the body who played host to it, to the soul it was interlaced with.
That was the vessel’s one and only saving grace, the light she was blessed with, the reason why the woman wasn’t dead on the forest floor. The light marked her as special, and painted a target effectively on her back. She was branded and beaming, and so unequivocally HIS. Now more than ever, the dark ready to toss his head back and laugh, that taunting sound one of pure victory, the light reborn in a form that the dark could now possess.
Made giddy with that realization, and the thoughts of what would soon follow, it was that elation AND the pain of a sword piercing true the heart of the Dark One’s host, that afforded a slim window of chance. Another being inside him began to stir, one Killian Jones reluctantly opening HIS eyes after nearly two decades of sleep.
“Ow.” said the man swallowed up by the dark, but that complaint was more angry than hurt. It was his eyes that blinked against the blinding light, his hand that raised to shield THEIR eyes from the vision before them. The dark snarled at the human’s impertinence, Killian Jones showing more initiative than he had in a good long century.
The dark turned furious, and ever a jealous thing, made a grab for the light that was still working on stabbing them. Weak though the effort was, it would have proven effective, had the creature that light was up against, been something that could actually DIE. It couldn’t. Not from that sword, not from any of those arrows, not from anything those pathetic mortal hands could devise. The dark, an absolute being, would ALWAYS exist, in one form or another, so long as a single human knew fear, knew hate, or greed, the many violent desires, the angry little impulses, and the innate terror of the unknown. It was that of their undesirable natures that had called the eldritch being into existence, the dark one borne the first time the first human had shown fear.
That fear the palpable scent that had called to the dark from out of the primordial ooze, it had brought with it the corruption and lust that has plagued humankind. Every last undesirable sin, the Dark One has been there for it all, spawning wars, causing untold devastation, as human after human ultimately turned on one another. Stealing, murdering, even torturing, it had been an unbridled chaos for so many a millennia, the people thrust into a nightmare seeming without end.
With no hope, and no chance to do—be better, the people had been in need of a savior. They got one in the form of a Goddess like no other, that ethereal shine that blazed brighter than any sun, splitting into the dark, bringing kindness and daylight to a humanity that had been suffering. She was everything the dark was not, so beautiful and sublime, and so uniquely her own.
The Dark lusting for the first time ever, could not be beaten back fully by that light. Anymore than that bright beam of purity, could be extinguished by the dark. They were forced to coexist, the light the yin to the yang of the dark one. Just like the cycle of night and day, the dark was in perpetual chase of that sun, its greedy nature one that had a violent want, a need to possess so fully the light, and spirit it away from the eyes of all.
For many a millennia, a status quo had existed, the dark’s evil corrupting influence, somewhat tempered by the light of day. Calmed but not snuffed out completely, man an inherently wicked creature by nature. The light tried to be the guiding force needed, but with no real tangible presence to either of them, the humans soon moved on, forgetting that there was more to the night, and more to the day.
Abandoned, the light neither held a grudge, nor grew forgetful of those people, so young and child like in mind, when compared to the two beings who held such immense power over them. No longer acknowledge, both the light and the dark merely existed as whispers in ears, the light full of love and encouragement, sparking a great many things, works of arts, whole civilizations, love and an appreciation of all life, hers was a message of hope and peace that the darkness ever sought to distort. Where her love saw great teeming cities born, the dark’s lust had those kingdoms fight, war devastating the land and everyone around it.
The dark wasn’t satisfied with just wars. It was crazed for the light that was never in true reach, and its impotent fury at being denied, backlash onto the humans, in creatively cruel ways. A new kind of murderer was born, a depraved mind that got off on the ritualistic killing of people, no rhyme or real reason behind such an act except to cause new found heights of suffering among what the light considered her children.
Serial killers, rapists, torture most foul, the lust and greed to expand an empire, to take everything from another, all ideas the dark planted in the depths of human kind. Husbands turn against wives, parents against children, abuse of all kind being birthed, the dark determined to make depraved all that which the light had gifted to the people.
Rampaging wild and free, the light could tolerate no more the dark’s cruel nature. The dark remembers that too, the day when the final straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back, came. The elation that it had felt, the euphoric feeling to finally be a few steps in reach of the trembling light. They had no real forms, lacked any true substance to them, and yet the dark crowded in close all the same. Eating away at the edge of the light’s shine, coming closer and closer, coiling around it as a thick wispy smoke that would cover and snuff that brilliance from the world.
Ready to take the light for its own, the dark moved those last inches, eager tendrils reaching for that purity. There was no hesitation, only greed and the need to possess, to be the soul keeper of the light. The warmth the dark experienced at that first touch could have melted glaciers, so potent a heat was it, leaving the darkness to purr and bask in its strength.
It had been a strength the darkness should have heeded, a danger there it had not taken notice of. It curled closer and tighter around the light, until only a sliver of it was left to be seen, and THAT is when it had happened. Such power unlike anything the dark had expected, that warmth a violence unbecoming of the light. It beat back the dark, sent him torpedoing a great distance into a mountain which decimated on the spot.
At first, the Dark One was confused, not understanding why such an impact could be FELT. The dark, like the light had no tangible form, all ethereal smoke and effervescence brilliance. He struggled beneath the crumbling ruins of the mountain, felt the dust from the wreckage settle thickly on his BODY. An inhale brought with it smoke that made the darkness choke, its eyes watering in response as bit by bit, the realizations came. Two arms, two legs, a torso, a head and a beating heart.
“What have you done...” A cracked voice demanded. “What have you done…!?” He stared up at a light that was dwindling, falling down in a shower of these faded remnant that could barely be called sparks. At the sight of them, the last dying breath of the light, the dark lurched forward, barely registering his speed. Trying to catch hold of any and all that he could reach, the exhausted remnants of light faded from existence, leaving only a warmth that quickly cooled into cold metal.
Its fingers curled around it, uncaring of the way the blade bit and bled its skin. That unwanted heart beat a thunderous sound, deafening the dark to its screams, the creature raging, barely able to comprehend, the light gone from this world. The dark one was besides himself, hating the light for its trickery, but also feeling an emptiness inside it at its loss. The dark so bereft and inconsolable, could not do anything but mourn, an inhuman sound of pain bellowing throughout the cosmos.
The dark knows exactly to the day, how long it has been since the light left him. Can count it down to the exact second, entire millennia having passed, the dark left to rampage and riot retaliation upon the light’s beloved children. It mattered not what form he wore, what human hosted him, the dark always found a way to ultimately corrupt and overpower its bearer, discarding bodies as easily as one might trash.
Filth that he considered the humans to be, it was not just the dark who took notice of the light. Of the form it now inhabited. It felt the man’s appreciation, and the dawning horror at the sight.
“No...No...No!” Killian Jones screamed from inside, trying to wrest control of a body that was no longer truly his. The dark held them still for this, turning inwards as though to slap the human inside him quiet.
“I can’t do this...” Killian Jones whispered in a broken tone of voice. “I can’t be the instrument that lets you torture and kill yet another!”
The dark bared its teeth in a snarl, more than a reprimand held in its claws. It scraped those sharp tips over the man’s SOUL, heard the satisfying sound of his pained response. Between that and the all too real sword piercing Killian Jones’ heart, the man was in a world of hurt.
“Stop it...” He begged, weak as ever. “STOP IT!” It was no strength to stand up to the power backlash off of the creature so wholly in control. Inside the vessel, the human that hosted the darkness, fell to his knees in sobbing pain.
Satisfied with the sight, the dark turned its attention back to the light. It was still as brilliant a gleam as ever, all gold and shining, with a tiny hint of jade peeking through. It was beautiful, a stunning vision fit only for the dark, its lips curving into a wicked smile.
“Caught you at long last.” Came the taunt. Its hand around the light’s delicate wrist, began to squeeze, and a gasp from its host was heard. She could not maintain her grip on the sword, and the dark did not relax its punishing grip, pulling her off balance, even as wispy tendrils of ink black smoke began washing over that weapon.
“Just WHAT were you thinking?” The Darkness demanded, the sword melting into nothing with a demonstration of power. “Coming here with a weapon you know can do no damage.”
“I...I had to try.” Came the pained answer, the Dark One still squeezing her wrist just short of breaking. “Someone has to...someone WILL put an end to you and your reign of terror!”
That wasn’t the light, the dark grabbing its host by the throat, cutting off her words and her air. “We BOTH know better than that.” It leaned into her, breathing in the scent of her sweat and fear, a tongue snaking out to lick a cheek clean of a single tear.
“Sweet.” The Darkness moaned. “As I always knew you would be.” Its fingers squeezed to the point of bruising, the light starting to flicker and dim. The shine went down to the point even the human could see, a despairing Killian Jones taking note in a detached kind of way, the woman’s beauty.
Long golden blonde hair, those jade green eyes that were currently welling up with tears, the pale skin made an angry pink as lushly pouting lips choked for air. Desperate and dying as she was, there was a fight to her, her free hand scrabbling at the darkness’ fist, her legs kicking out, a foot trying for the wound in his thigh. The darkness felt none of it, shuttling the pain off to the human inside, the howling screams of one Killian Jones echoing in its ears.
With that sound inside it, the dark was able to admit to the finely crafted form of the light, this human a fitting representation of what a Goddess should be. It purred its approval, pressed its body against hers, and only then did it relax its grip.
To the sound of her desperate breaths, the dark nuzzled its nose into the golden sunshine of her hair, felt the warmth flowing off of her, and let loose with its greedy nature. Hands that had just been hurtful and violent, now roamed with a blatant impudence, feeling up the shape and form of its Goddess made real, the darkness intent on learning every new inch of her.
It heard the gasp, the outrage laced in that sound. “I am Emma, Princess of Mist Haven and you will RUE the day….”
“Emma...” It tasted the name on its lips, heard the sultry purr of its voice repeating it. The Dark One liked having her name, for with it came power, and control, no one knowing better than the Darkness what magic a name could wrought.
“Kill me if you will...” The woman continued. “But know you will bring the wrath of my kingdom itself upon your head!”
“Kill you?” The darkness arched a brow she could not see. “I am not going to kill you, Emma of Mist Haven…” It leaned into her face, so close their lips could almost touch. “I’m going to KEEP you.”
“Wh...what?” Came the shaky breath, and inside the Dark felt Killian Jones lifting his head. His voice was an echo of the princess, but even more shocked, for the man had witnessed the Darkness kill tribute after tribute for longer than he cared to remember.
“You’re mine now...and I keep what is MINE.”
“N...No. I’m not yours!” protested the woman. “I will NEVER be yours!”
With those words, the fiery gleam of defiance blazed in her eyes, the woman glaring and fighting, the light that came from within her, growing stronger. The darkness couldn’t stop staring, memorized by that beautiful brilliance, a fight within the woman that was all her own, Emma of Mist Haven kicking, even biting at the lips so close to hers.
“Oh ho ho….” The Darkness breathed out a chuckle. “She is PERFECT. For you and for ME!”
A scream was its answer, frightened, but under laying the fear, was that strength of anger and pride, the woman fighting more, flailing out with her arms as though searching for a weapon, even as it caused her pain, the wounds inflicted earlier bleeding even more.
The light inside her seemed to flicker angrily, as though it was reacting to the woman’s distress. Supporting it, supporting HER, the light trying to bolster this princess with all the strength it could lend. The dark narrowed its eyes at that, watching and thinking, and coming away with the realization that the light was no longer a real match in power when compared to the dark and its host. They were strong in physicality and brute force, while the light and its host, seemed to focus all its strength from the spirit.
Defiant though they were, they sputtered and sparked more like a kitten than a cat. All bluster and bravado, there was not a thing the light could do, now that it had finally be found. And that suited the dark just fine, the woman pulled into the shadows, those inky wisps of tendrils covering them both.
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To Be Continued…
Hmm...not sure whose point of view will be next chapter. Maybe it will be a double one...Not sure if this is a good spot to end a chapter on, but it felt like otherwise it would turn into the chapter that NEVER ends.
Had some dark and light origin in here, but this is only touching the tip of the iceberg so to speak. Haven’t really gotten to it being a DARK fic yet though….but hopefully its building to there…
Wrote this one on only four hours sleep too...X_X
---Michelle
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