#drinking with your cousin

[tinaah113]

When you and your cousin are both alcoholics 😭😅🤣

Tagging your cousin and his wife in awkward memes and probably confusing the rest of the family.

Glad she finally got drunk enough on her wine a couple times so she didn't feel like she had to take care of us idiots and found we are even more fun if you're drunk too.

Sisters and I had so much fun playing and hanging out with our cousin growing up, duh we'd be a blast drinking together.

#drinking with your cousin #drunk cousins #and his wife #cousins #drinking buddies #drinking games #drunk stories #Cuzzywuzzy #family #alcoholics #liquor #rum #tequila #jack daniel's #embarrassing #awkward #weird #cute #hilarious #2nd cousins #party animals #wild #inside jokes #let them wonder #sweet #precious #fun #that was patricia #that wasn't me that was patricia

[vamprisms]

'i prefer winter' bitches are insane. there's no way you work full time

#not using no way you work full time as some sort of capitalist flex i mean #there's no way you go into work in the dark and leave work in the dark and like that #you're drinking cocoa in your oversized jumper and youre laughing. theyre taking cousin oskar out back like old yeller and youre laughing

[moeblob]

There was a post I saw about someone who mutually ghosted a guy after a date and kept matching with him and they're not interested but it's the longest "relationship" the person had been in at that point and I'm like. Karen would mutually ghost someone.

She doesn't really tell Brent/Right/Evelyn/Chris his name (he has a double first name, Patrick is not his last name) and just refers to him as "My Guy". Like "Ah damn, My Guy matched again. End my suffering." And when she tries to explain it to Right who does NOT understand how it's different, her logical answer is "it's my God given right to ghost a polite man!"

Also I just imagine her confiding in Paul about Rick and he's like "is his name Patrick" and she's like "kinda". And after that, Paul calls him "Pattycakes" cause he's never even seen the guy so why not give him a funny little nickname. He's allowed to do so at this point probably.

#my characters #also i just think it would be so funny to have him walk into the bar when karen and the boys are all there #and she sees him and is like OH MY GOD ITS MY GUY AND HE HAS A WOMAN WITH HIM I have to go congratulate him #and she jumps out of the booth to go say hi to him and the rest of her group is staring with wide eyes because whomst #and then her shoulders drop and the guy looks nervous and then karen is just gesturing to her group #and she walks him over and is like hey this is my guy and his cousin i hate my life #and then introduces rick to her friends/coworkers in the worst way ever like.... so lackluster #thats right and hes gay and pining and possibly dating #thats brent and hes pining and possibly dating #thats chris and he might have a divorce on his track record (HEY!) but we still love him #and thats paul the disaster bisexual currently pining #she sighs then points to the bar and goes AND I GUESS ILL INCLUDE the pining hot bartender in the introductions #everyone meet rick and his cousin and rick is like oh ! paul! hes your best friend! #cause he KNOWS that name from their ONE DATE that they both pretend didn't happen #and paul is just sunshine and flowers and beaming like oh ?? OH ??? KAREN? BESTIE? MY BEST FRIEND? #and she blushes and glares at rick because DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A FACE THAT CAN HANDLE COMPLIMENTS YOU JERK look what you did to him #and rick is v sorry and feels bad about it cause hes really just some random polite guy and thats why it would never work #hes too nice for karen and she CRAVES the teasing THE BANTER THE LANGUAGE and no hes just nice bye #so he leaves with his cousin to get some drinks and walks back over after hes done #and stares at paul as he says wow the bartender really is pining like you said in response to karen and paul wants to melt into his seat #therefore karen will forgive her guy for telling paul he was her best friend (its true tho) bc he made paul embarrassed #and he smiles at her and says bye and she just nods and is like yup talk to you next time we match #and its never romantic its always platonic #they are always going to match but its NEVER going to go beyond friends #though they do become friends and hang out eventually! #yes you can tell i thought about this A LOT on the drive #oops i fell in love

[theygender]

I love being T4T. My gf has been on estrogen for a couple weeks now and she's been having a rough time with her mood so I'm teaching her about the ancient art of soaking in a bubble bath with a little drink to sip while watching shows on your laptop

#pro-tip for any girls newly on E. this is The Cure for PMS #(which accurately describes what youre going through btw) #other great cures include putting on nice smelling lotion and fuzzy socks and wrapping yourself in a blanket burrito/nest #also eating lots of chocolate or other sweets and drinking your favorite caffeinated beverages #my mom used to always put on lotion and fuzzy socks and drink dr pepper and eat chocolate #my cousin likes to watch netflix in the bath with wine and then get in a blanket burrito with her favorite lemonade tea #if youve got someone to take care of you then you dont even have to come out of the burrito. you can just ask them to bring you things #all of these methods help a lot. we're experts on this you can trust me (family of people with endometriosis) #also if youre having headaches and bloating and stomach pain you might try midol (generic works fine) #it has acetaminophen for pain + caffeine for headaches (like excedrin) + antihistamine for bloating #also to clarify: i said girls newly on E only bc i figured girls who have been on it for a while might have already figured this stuff out #but PMS is by no means exclusive to transfems who have newly started on E #many transfems have reported getting PMS symptoms and even cramps on a monthly basis after being on estrogen for a while #this is bc after a while on E your body can start naturally making more estrogen and this can come with its own hormone cycle #and as a result you can essentially get all of the symptoms of a period just without the actual bleeding #(this can include cramps bc even in cis women the signals for the muscle spasms can sometimes get misdirected to nearby organs— #unfortunately causing stomach issues as well) #so if anyone out there happens to not already know this information and youve been feeling like shit periodically for seemingly no reason #now you know 😅 #its your period #rambling

[rad-roche]

i'm still loving shadows of doubt, but i've figured it out to the point that very hard difficulty within my sweaty grasp, so to add an extra layer of challenge i'm drinking every single bottle of alcohol, taking every bottle of pills i find (including ibuprofen and random birth control i find in cabinets) and injecting vials of whatever i find around, mostly insulin. i will call this run the phillip marlowe: i'm going to wake up in increasingly strange places with increasingly severe head wounds but my god somebody has to do it

#shadows of doubt #some light humour for the chandler stans #you hire a PI. she shows up. she drinks your vodka. she hits 'resolve case' after having robbed you of your savings #your cousin is still missing #alcohol cw

[rottedbrainz]

He's my favorite!!! 🦐🦐🦐🦐

Honestly I can not say enough about ducktales, and the Micky Mouse and friends franchise as a whole.

There's just so much behind Donald, Goofy, and Micky besides being the mascots for Disney.

Anyway...I REALLY REALLY LOVE FETHRY!!!!!!!!!

#NEVER. Drink. Seawater. Tempting as it is. It'll just make you thirstyier. #Its me Fethry. YOUR UNCLE DONALDS FAVORITE COUSIN! #He keeps dangers like pirates away and what not. #do you get pirates often? #NEVER! Hes that good! #>:/ #anyway enough fethry quotes #also im team pepper x fethry but also a huge fan of fethsteel #should i draw my dt oc again? #myart #art #ducktales woo ooo #ducktales fethry #dt17 #dt17 fethry #duckverse #duck cousins #fethry duck

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

"Grandpa Kronos" “Cousin Ares”

Rick had a chance to slide the incest under the rug for the show but he's like "let's remind everyone that ALL THE DEMIGODS AND GODS ARE BLOOD RELATED."

#pjo tv show #he ain't beating the incest allegations that's for sure #i personally dont care that theyre all related to each other and that both of his main ships for the series are cousin incest #but like he included that dumbass “gods dont have dna and that's why you cant date someone from your own cabin” line in book four/five #because everyone kept pointing out that percy and annabeth are related #why would he push harder on the familial ties in the show when he doesnt have to #especially with so many kids drinking the puritan kool aid

[deus-ex-mona]

worming out of awkward conversations l i k e

#accidentally partially traumadumped on my coworker earlier auaaaaaa im so sorry #literally all she asked was ‘are you gonna be spending cny with your father?’ and cue the rant (sadge) #i didn’t really have to tell her that the dude tried to burn our apartment down during a certain rampage #(said fire was extinguished by my then-11 year old bro with water from the sink though. good boi) #the topic was successfully changed after that yeayyyyyy #but. m a n n n n . cny is not a good time for me lmfaooooo #i swear i have at least one bad memory for all of the years that i’ve gone housevisiting for the season #like there was that time when i，as a kindergartner，was deemed to be the cause of breaking apart the family’s bonds #over a can of cola at a reunion dinner bc i cried when my evil aunt scolded me for daring to want a drink other than water #i think my father still blames me for that to this very day lmfaoooooo #g o d. manifesting my hopes and dreams for that prick to not contact me this year im begginggggg #he’s. like. the one person i hate more than myself. 3rd place on my hatelist is his father ofc. no clue who 4th place would be though… #hmmmmm ok i think that’s enough traumadumping for one cny season lmao #tune in next year as i once again wonder what tf the name of one of my cousins is #bc despite how bonkers that side of the family is… i’m sure that the dude’s parents weren’t deranged enough to name their son ‘colour’— #his name is seriously one of my greatest unsolved mysteries. i mean. he has siblings with names like dylan and vivian/valerie/vanessa(?) #and yet everyone calls him something that sounds like ‘colour’. #like damn did his parents decide to skip giving just one of their children a first name or something? guess i’ll never know

[mumblelard]

finnie came over after work last night and we sat at my kitchen table, drinking tequila with tooth cracking cold bottles of grape pop and talking about the abandoned house behind the old school, rabid beavers, strawberry soju, the loose lioness, interstate latex fires, locket cats, and last days. it was a nice night

#cousins both fallen and not fallen yet #knife cousins #sunset #summer storms #water from your eyes #seventeen turtle days #recreational vandalism #pastel de nata #hummingbird moths #quantum animism #bull sluice #purple juice #pepperoni panpsychism #sweetwater creek #district twelve #more than one drink of bourbon and i have a compulsive need to hear the sound of breaking glass #she thinks the nice lady's slow predictable movements would make her easy to hunt #and that would fix everything

[possiblytracker]

me (only sober one in the conversation but tired out of my mind and equally lacking a filter): i thibk my.friends are mad at me

one of the five absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousins also sitting round the campfire at the family gathering, taking it in turns to drink straight out a huge bottle of costco margarita mix where the adults are pretending not to see at 11pm on a sunday night: bruhhh have you tried going into the woods and hitting things with a big stick til you feel better

another absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousin: i wish someone would hit ME with a big stick til I feel better :(

#alcohol / #drinking / #ask to tag?? #weekend was eventful #like 30+ people turned up for this fucking party its the most relatives ive seen in one place since 2018 #there was no hitting people with big sticks but someone did get pushed off a trampoline into a nettle patch #which i was not present for i went to bed early(ish). but funny nonetheless #my brother is a BAD INFLUENCE he just kept handing out beers to the cousins his age and getting them absolutely sloshed #people who like. hardly ever drink or even never have before #so the late night campfire was an Interesting Time #very irresponsible he got in so much trouble over it bc hes only allowed to drink if hes responsible about it.. #which means not peer pressuring other 16 year olds. #several of which said later they dont remember anything after 11pm????? guys your LIVERS. thats NOT SAFE #im still on my anxiety bullshit tho i have a presentation to turn in Tomorrow Morning and i have no meds and am tired as fuck #and i DO kinda think people could possibly be mad at me but im just. not thinking abt that right now i have enough on my mind <3 ill die <3 #i miss my friends im a wet shaking animal but if i talk to anyone and turns out they ARE mad i will evaporate into a fine mist i am sorry

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

I'm not mad I'm hung up about a certain situation, but I am extremely upset about the fact that I am fairly certain this person does not think about me even half as much as I do.

#personal #ugh #it's my cousin #its always her #know when I didn't think about her? #when I was traveling #I was too busy enjoying myself #not to be cliche but this is my roman empire #when you have friend breakups its so hard #because you know romantic breakups people have sympathy for #like your friends are there with wine and pizza #but friend breakups no one is bringing you any of that #they delivered the pizza elsewhere and are drinking wine without you #plus i feel like friendship breakups go out with whimpers rather than bangs #so not having that definitive bang can be difficult #to process #plus she's family #extra layer of fun to that one

[riosnecktattoo]

Ok this is soo random but I was always so confused about Nick's backstory??? Like were we supposed to think that Nick was the brains behind the operation the entire time?? Like how much was Rio and Nick working together? Was it 50/50. I feel like Nick's MO is that he was always super jealous of Rio because hello??? And always took credit for everything that Rio has built on his own. Is that a correct read? What's your opinion 🧐 also bonus but what do you think Beth's impression of Nick is?

firstly I think it's very important to remember that Nick is 5'9 like that informs so much

secondly I don't think we're meant to think he's the brains at all I mean he was giving Dense™. I try not to think of him but I got the vibe he and Rio operated in tandem to help eachother out, Rio from the actual crime side making money and Nick from his smarmy good guy façade role as a councilman to help bend the law when Rio needed it. Mutually beneficial but something Rio chafed against cause Nick is Nick and who wouldn't want to get rid of him tbh

Beth 'I'm 🤢 not doing 🤢 anything 🤢 with the brousin 🤢' Boland at best thought Nick was a fun way to find things out about Rio.

#asks #nick can choke #Welcome to my TAY talk #never forget the agenda to try and make Nick seem taller than Rio and Beth that was THE funniest shit #putting your 10/10 gorgeous 6'1 cousin brother in jail and being jealous of him and trying to control him your whole life #is classic 5'9 man behaviour #remember when Nick tried to have a drink with her and she was like 🙂 no 🙂 #and then when she turned she was rolling her eyes like '🙄 ewww' #that was great

[robyn-goodfellowe]

hi tumblr!!!! how are the vibes today… are they chill? :3

#i had a beautiful day today im i’m such a good mood nothing has been able to kill my vibe #and believe me. one of my coworkers are always trying to kill my vibe #but like the sun is shining the weather is finally getting better it’s a friday!! and there’s still buttercups everywhere!!! #and i’m so excited for the weekend because with everything else my cousins stopping by and i have so much to catch her up on ehehehe #it’s been a good week #anyways if you read all of this go drink some water! i just finished my second bottle now it’s your turn! #and tell me something nice you saw today :) #rambling

[impishtubist]

Andromeda better thank Kingsley, sparing her from the awkwardness of her daughter flirting with her cousin-in-law in front of said cousin during family gatherings

Right??? Although now I kind of want to write something where Tonks has the audacity to flirt with Remus in front of Sirius and Andromeda and Andromeda's reaction to it 😂

#andromeda is like IF YOU'RE GOING TO HIT ON A MARRIED MAN AT LEAST MAKE SURE HE'S OUTSIDE THE FAMILY #there are PROPER ways to seduce married men young lady #also maybe choose one who can give you a political advantage? #and maybe also choose one who ISN'T YOUR COUSIN'S HUSBAND #imp speaks #sirius meanwhile has a drink and is sitting back enjoying the chaos

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Hi today. Things happened. Good lord (positive)

#basically my cousin's cute friend did show up #and. well. #we were left alone for a while bc cousin and her bf went to a night store for more alcohol #and we had a respectful chat about basically. thinking the other is hot. he straight up said hes into me. respectfully #and later when cousin and her bf came back she asked what did she miss and the cute friend was like 'oh just rizzing your cousin' kdbdndnxn #and from that point we spent most of the time cuddling #like proper cuddling like. first i was just leaning on him and he hugged my waist #but it gradually went to #hes sitting behind me and im half laying down between his legs on his torso and hes holding my waist and putting his head on mine #so like. yeah #yeah im normal about everything #he even tried to kiss me at one point but im not a kissing person #he was very respectful about that tho. after he did smooch me next to my lips. #like he apologized immediately and didnt try again but we still cuddled #and later later we like swapped and he was laying on me #like girl. hot damn #tho i do very much prefer being the hugged person lmao it was still cool as fuck #and like hes tall. so tall. i love tall people. felt really comfy and safe in his arms. good lord #im didnt get drunk today but i did get a lil silly after drinking. mostly just sleepy and more open to touch #im not tipsy anymore but honestly i feel drunk on just the feeling of being desired by someone and touch and all that shit #like im ace in a way so cuddling real close and kisses not on my mouth is i think the most im okay with #and i do like that physical attention but i dont really get any ever #its a really good feeling to know that someone finds me attractive. and to just cuddle about that #praying he wont see this lmaoo #theres no reason he would but i do still remember how my friend i had a genuine crush on found and read my posts about her lmao #but yeah i don think i ever shared my tumblr w him. good #anyway it was a great evening and my brain is still short circuiting #bee buzz

[sillypilled-friendcel]

"what do you know about drinking" "what do you know about smoking" "what do you know about weed" "what do you know about drugs" you do not know me or my life!!!!!!

#hes always like “what do you know” and then theres a chance hell call me the r slur #and like. i was a smoker for 4 years. i was an alcoholic for 6. #i did speed in muddle school #i smoked pot and had edibles. i had edibles woth my fucking parents. #amd then he complains that i have a vape (bought with my own money!!) and that my parents give me alcohol now (they gave my sisters alcohol #at 13!!) #like he smoked and drank around my suster with cigarettes and drinks my parents bought her #but the moment ma buys me a vaoe with ny own money or i have any experience drinking its awful #i guess its because shes sooo mature and hard working and ik just a disrespectful kid #even tho im a fucking adult now and he never had any right to treat me half the way he did/does #“i treat her like i treat my 10 year old brother” srsly. srsly?? am i 10 now? am i your 10 yr old baby brother now? no. im 18 fucking years #old and i had a totally different life experience than your brother when i was 10 too. we are not related. that is NOT what they meant when #they said to treat me like your younger sister. fuck you. fuck off. #also. im SORRY to your brother if this is how you treat him. but it fucking isnt. your kind to him. you play with him. u fckng LOVE him #while ur an absolute abusive POS towards me #u literally talk shit about me! too my friends!! what? u think my bestie since 6th grade and my cousin ive known all my life are gonna agree #with you? how fucking stupid can u be? #also. u r not the expert on disability just becuz u lost half ur foot and have adhd. ur extremely fucking ableist actually #“i could play sports and so cpukd this guy with a pacemaker i knew so no disability is ever an excuse you can do anything and also im gonna #call you (an autistic person) a retard and say the n word constantly and call children n word lettes!!!! becuz i am a totally normal and wel #well adjusted individual!!!“ #i hope someone hears you say half the shit you say and fucking jumps your ass #and i hope those fuckings pigs u love so much dont do shit for you #you ableist racist transphobic homophobic intersexist bigoted piece of fucking shit #like. if a form of bigotry exjsts he fucking loves it. #god. fuck you. fuck you fuck you. #i hope you fucking kill yourself