Hi hi!!! I just found your blog and I love how you wrote Astarion. I have a small request if you're still taking them!
Because of Halsin's one line about how his wildshape is hard to repress I have a headcanon that certain druidic animal forms get triggered by certain emotions. So what if a druid Tav was hurt or scared and got stuck in animal form, and Astarion had to calm them down long enough for them to shift back/get healed
Aww, I like this. But some TW: The reason for them being hurt/scared is fucked and involves dead children. I killed off some NPCs for this one (but they live in the real game I swear!) Also set in Act 2, after he confesses. Just so you know! Don't trigger yourself for this.
~
There was a reason that Astarion always tried to convince you to not leave him behind at camp. Mostly because it could be dreadfully boring, doing nothing but sitting there waiting for your return. But also because he didn't like being out of the loop. There had been many moments, too many, where he had been the sole reason you were still standing. Whether that be stabbing someone in the back who held a dagger to your throat or being the one to help you back on your feet from the brink of death, Astarion had gotten very good at keeping you alive.
He didn't trust anyone to watch out for you the way he could, a belief that was instantly strengthened when the group came back. With you nowhere to be seen. It was only Halsin and Shawdowheart, beaten and bloodied as they limped their way forward.
The sight of them had Astarion on his feet in an instant, an awful feeling settling in the pit of his stomach as he waited for you to slink out of the tree line to join them. But nothing.
"Where are they?" Astarion asked, his voice loud and fraught enough to cut through the others questions on what happened, "Why isn't Tav with you?"
Neither of them answered, instead they swapped a knowing grimace. The silence was enough for Astarion's blood to go cold, the worst jumping to the forefront of his mind. B-But that couldn't be. The two in front of him wouldn't just leave her to die, would they? He would hope not, otherwise he'd be forced to bleed them both dry. Astarion was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even realized how heavily he was breathing, how his hands were trembling at the very thought of your being gone. Your corpse just left behind for the wolves in the cursed Shadowlands.
"Astarion, breathe," Halsin said gently, the behemoth of a man suddenly standing in front of him, his hands gently resting on his shoulders, "I know where they are, they're okay. They just... aren't exactly themselves right now, or at least not the version you know."
"If they're okay then why in the hells aren't they here?" Astarion seethed back at him, swatting his touch away before steeping back, "You just left them out there? Alone?"
"It's not that simple," Halsin started, right as Shadowheart piped up, "Karlach is with her. We aren't that incompetent."
"Well considering that our leader is missing, I wouldn't exactly call you capable," Astarion barked back at her, already turning back towards Halsin, "Take me to them. Now."
The venom in his voice would have surprised Astarion himself if he was capable of thinking about anything but you dead in the middle of nowhere. He barely even had the patience for Halsin to get adequate healing, but it was better than having to wait for him to limp the entire way there. He felt antsy and off center for the entire journey, completely foreign emotions taking over him. He didn't care about people like this, for the precise reason that it led to these horrifying moments of uncertainty. He didn't know what he would do without you anymore. He didn't want to ever find out.
It figures that you would go and almost get yourself killed right after he admitted a portion of his feelings to you. And now everything he wished he'd said was invading his every thought.
"Oh come on now, don't make that face! You know me!"
The sound of Karlach's voice was enough to bring him out of his own head. She was up ahead, kneeling next to a small cave opening as she spoke, "For something so cute, you're being a bit of a pisser right now. Aren't you?"
Astarion didn't miss the bodies littering the way between where he stood and the cave, a mix of homely gnolls and dead tieflings, some that he unfortunately recognized from the grove. He didn't take the time to examine them closely, but... he was aware that many looked young. Much, much too young to have died here.
"There they are," Halsin sighed as Karlach cooed at the cave opening, "They've been in there since we stumbled upon all of... this."
"They've gotten less scratchy at the least," Karlach added, standing up with a stretch, her gaze pointedly avoiding the massacre in front of them, "But they won't stop hissing up a storm. I tried to pull them out by the scruff and almost lost a hand, so I'm thinking we may have to wait this one out."
Astarion ignored her as he got closer to the cave, his eyes widening at what he saw. It was you, or at least he was thought it was. He was well-aware of your druidic abilities and he had seen you polymorph into a ferocious beast many, many times. But never like this. No, you always had a human air about you when you shifted, the reality of your true shelf always shining through your eyes, never without perfect control.
But now, you were cowering in your panther form, your eyes daring back and forth, your coat so covered in blood that it nearly looked like you had been swimming in it. You even hissed at the sight of him of all people, your teeth bared as you backed farther against the cave wall, nothing but pure animal fear and rage behind your eyes.
"It can happen sometimes," Halsin explained with a frown, "Tav is very connected with this form, perhaps too connected. Enough so for it to take over when they're particularly distressed. It used to happen to me even, many, many moons ago. It can take hours to change back, maybe even days. And it can be very... difficult to remember your life outside of instincts."
Well wasn't that just fucking awful? Figures there had to be a drawback to such a powerful advantage. But he'd be damned if he'd leave you out here alone for days. And he doubted that the extra audience would help with anything.
"Leave us," Astarion ordered, his eyes still on you, "I'll find a way to bring them back to camp."
Halsin and Karlach exchanged a glance, obviously weary at the idea. Karlach cleared her throat, "Astarion, I know that the two of you are, um, close, but I don't think you can do anything-"
"Watch me," Astarion said, his words petulant even to his own ears. But he meant it. If anyone could help you through whatever this was, it was going to be him, "If I'm not back before the sun rises feel free to look for me. Now leave."
"But she could kill you on accident! And if my best friend had to wake up to that-" Karlach tried to argue, interrupted by Halsin putting a strong hand on her shoulder, "Just because part of them is lost doesn't mean all of them is. Astarion can handle himself."
Astarion was a bit surprised to receive the druid's support, but he wasn't about to argue over it. He nodded at them, "I'll be fine. Now go, I don't think the crowd is helping with their nerves."
Astarion watched them walk away, only relaxing when they were out of sight. It felt like he could finally breathe again. There you were, safe and sound if not a bit... changed. But he could work with that.
Astarion sat cross-legged to the side of the cave entrance, his voice soft but scolding as he spoke, "'I'll be safe Astarion, don't worry about me Astarion, you're such a little overthinker Astarion.' And now look at you, trapped in a cave with a cat's body. Darling, I think it's high time that you start listening to me."
Astarion hadn't been expecting an answer, but the pitiful little chirp you let out brought a smile to his face. He scooted a bit closer to the entrance, careful not to actually cross the threshold as he spoke, "I'm serious Tav, do you know how horrible it was to see them come back without you? I'd say a punishment would be in order, if you weren't too busy giving it to yourself that is."
Another small, dejected noise, but it sounded closer this time. Astarion glanced at the entrance, smiling when he saw you sitting there on all fours, your tail twitching as you peeked outside. Perhaps it wasn't the wisest thing to do but Astarion slowly brought his hand up, hovering it right in your face while praying that you wouldn't take the chance to bite it off, "It seems like you haven't lost the faculty for understanding language yet. Lick my hand if I'm right."
You did, your large sandpaper tongue gliding over his palm before retreating. You looked... different than before. In a good way, but not a whole way.
"That's a good kitty," Astarion praised, laughing at the way the pet name made your brows scrunch up. Perhaps you weren't fully yourself, but enough of you was there for him to know you'd be getting him back for that little quip, "Oh don't look at me like that. You're the full-grown adult in the body of a glorified housecat."
The little growl you let out at that just made him laugh harder, "A very pretty housecat. Does that help my love?"
You didn't answer. Instead you turned with a huff and retreated back into the cave, your demeanor much more relaxed than before. Relaxed enough for Astarion to venture in there after you. It was a small space, just large enough for a panther to lay and a man to sit. You didn't hiss or growl as he settled in, just watched him with sharp eyes.
Astarion didn't like it. You were usually so tactile with him, always finding reasons for touch, even if they were simple. Standing shoulder to shoulder, intertwining your fingers together, hugs and kisses innocent enough to make Astarion melt. Even in your animal form, not touching you just felt... wrong.
But Astarion also wasn't trying to get mauled. He kept his hands to himself, his head cocked as he stared at you, "Are you honestly going to stay all the way over there? We might be here all night darling, you wouldn't want me to be cold would you?"
Perhaps that was manipulative phrasing, but at least it worked. You shuffled closer, resting your head in his lap while staring up at him with those big eyes.
"See?" Astarion cooed down at you, taking the chance to pet your head, "Isn't that better?"
You didn't answer, instead you closed your eyes, a light purr coursing through you. You really did make an adorable panther, even when your fur was crusted with blood and the tiniest bit of gore. Perhaps you didn't smell that best at the moment, but you sure were cute. You fell asleep there, right in his lap, your body finally fully relaxed.
This wasn't exactly how Astarion intended on spending his night, but there were plenty of worse things. Like having the bury the love of his life for example. Or watching a gnoll tear into their corpse. But luckily enough for him that didn't happen. No, he had you with him, safe and sound. Panther or not, he loved you, and one of these days he would get the courage to admit it out loud. Hopefully sooner than later, considering how easily you could be taken from him.
Astarion hadn't planned on falling asleep with you, but you were so warm, and the sound of your happy purring was nearly hypnotic. The next thing he knew he was out, awaking hours later to a dark cave and a different weight set in his lap. But not an unfamiliar one.
Astarion glanced down, breathing out a sigh of relief when it was you back to normal, seemingly shifting in the middle of the night. You were laying in what seemed to be an extremely uncomfortable position, your cute face smooshed against his leg as you slumbered.
"There you are," Astarion murmured, the quiet sound of his voice still enough to jolt you awake. You blinked your eyes open, sitting up with a start as you frantically looked around.
"Hey, hey, calm down. Everything's okay," Astarion said gently, tugging you back to him, "You just had a little... incident. That's all."
You nodded, the memories from the day seemingly hitting you all at once. He could see the tears start to well up in your eyes as you stared at the ground, "I... I remember the tieflings. We found them too late. And I saw one of those things gnawing on... on Silfy. And another on Mattis and I just... lost it."
Oh gods. Astarion didn't exactly have a soft spot for children, but the thought of seeing one of the ones you had saved, eaten alive was horrifying. Even against the things he had seen.
"Come here love," Astarion murmured, holding his arms out; his heart breaking at the look on your face.
You went to him, nearly collapsing in his arms as you cried into his shoulder, "I didn't save them. I- they were right there. And I didn't save them."
"You can't save everyone," Astarion said as he stroked your hair, "Not every life can be your responsibility. It just can't."
"Why not?" You sniffled, looking up at him with tired eyes, "Why does this have to keep happening? Why can't I do something about it?"
"Because the world wasn't made for people like you," Astarion said honestly, "It is cruel and horrific and it doesn't deserve you. But it needs you anyway. It needs someone who cares, despite everything that proves you shouldn't. And that's not fair, but it's true."
Part of him could scarcely believe such words were even his own, let alone that fact that he believed them. But he did. You couldn't save everyone, no. But that didn't stop the fact that those you could mattered. That your kindness and passion for good did mean something, it meant enough to help hundreds of people. And enough to change him. Astarion would never be the same after meeting you. He didn't want to be, but even if he did the change was irrevocable. Because that's just the effect you had on people. And he felt so damned lucky that he was one of them.
You nodded against him as you let all of your tears out, his words meaningful but not enough to stop the pain completely.
But that was okay. Astarion wasn't going anywhere.
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Now that we have come to the end of the drama... Drama vs. Webtoon time!
I'm going to do this one a little differently, head to head, did the drama or the webtoon do it better in Marry My Husband?
Drama did it better! ML's Original Death
So in the webtoon, Ji-hyuk goes to Ji-won's funeral and then just offs himself by walking into the sea. It's not super clear why, like he barely knew Ji-won, and it felt really pathetic. I preferred the car accident.
Webtoon did it better! Su-min killing Min-hwan's mom
This didn't even come close to happening in the drama, but Su-min comes home to find the MIL from Hell having a stroke and then just turns around and leaves her on the floor. When it looks like she might recover, Su-min injects air into her veins and she dies. Su-min goes to prison for this as she doesn't kill her husband. Anyway, the drama showed us MIL very sad after her son's death, but I preferred this ending since she spent so long abusing Ji-won in the original timeline.
Drama did it better! Not So Much Love Triangle
Poor Eun-ho spent a lot more time pining after Ji-won in the webtoon. Happy that he got resolution there. Also, never felt like Eun-ho had a chance in the drama which I preferred.
Webtoon did it better! Eun-ho & Hui-yeon
I couldn't believe how little screen time these cuties got! Give me Hui-yeon proposing (at least she confessed first), give me them being in love! Why was Eun-ho not in the time-jump scene at the end?
Toss-up: Mr. Lee & Mrs. Yang
I liked the character of Mr. Lee better in the drama, but I liked Mrs. Yang's story better in the webtoon. Mr. Lee is way too nice in the webtoon, I liked his supportive and yet kind of rude persona in the drama. However, I wanted more of their story, in the webtoon Mrs. Yang's ex tries to kidnap their daughter as leverage, which is stopped, and then Mr. Lee has a very cute relationship with Mrs. Yang's daughter, who asks her mom if she'll marry Mr. Lee. We didn't really get any confirmation that they would end up together in the drama!
Drama did it better! Min-hwan's ending
Was it so satisfying to see him get the same ending he gave to Ji-won? Yes it was. In the webtoon, he sabotages his own car hoping that Su-min will die and he'll get the inheritance money. But then he drives his car to see his mom (after her stroke) and drives off a bridge. I liked this ending better.
Drama did it better! Mains as Parents
I felt like the webtoon went a little too far in making Ji-hyuk the only providing parent. I'm all for women working, but it just seemed unrealistic to me. I liked seeing both of them exhausted on the couch with their twins.
Toss-up: Plots that I Didn't Love
I really disliked Yu-ra in the drama, who I guess had to be included so she could take Ji-hyuk's fate. I think the webtoon was smart to cut her and I found her really annoying and over the top. However, I also didn't love the plot in the webtoon where Ji-won catfishes both Su-min and Min-hwan so that she can reproduce the betrayed by a friend thing. So I guess they both struggled with the third act.
Webtoon did it better! ML Doesn't Inherit
In the webtoon, Ji-hyuk decides to run his own security company and Ji-won continues at the original company. I guess the drama preferred a super rich power couple, but the webtoon was better in that way for me. I didn't love Ji-won becoming a stereotypical rich wife with a charity...
Webtoon did it better! MORE CAT
Pang (mold) the cat has a whole chapter from his POV in the webtoon. It was so cute!
Drama did it better! The Family Dinner
Honestly, I didn't think anything could top the webtoon's family dinner where Ji-won shows up in her revenge get-up, but I just loved Ji-won flipping Min-hwan so much!
Lastly, the drama really made Min-hwan and Su-min great characters. All the awards for Su-min's actress especially. Those two really came alive in a way that the webtoon just didn't do.
(and yes, I know the drama was based on the original webnovel but I'm not reading that, I like webtoons, and both are adaptations so fair comparison).
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Total Drama AU/Headcanon: Where everything is the same, except Noah is just as crazy/insane as Izzy and Eva, but he's much better at hiding it (with a sarcastic calm personality) ... Only Izzy, Eva and Owen know his true unhinged colors (and that's why they get along with him so well) .../// Duncan briefly saw it during the Total Drama Island Special Finale, when Duncan grabbed Noah's leg, but Noah escaped, and we didn't see HOW Noah escaped... In this AU, Noah bit Duncan's hand then gave Duncan a silent psychotic grin, which shocked Duncan and gave Noah time to escape (Noah basically pretending the bite and grin never happened) ... In TDWT, imagine if Alejandro ever found out that the sanest one on his Team is only PRETENDING to be sane! 😅
I've seen that one Scary!Noah AU floating about in the main tag lately, and I love the concept. There's so much that could be done with having someone like Noah (scarily smart, mostly motivated by either spite or The Bit, nerfed by his own laziness/apathy/hubris) have the added bonus of Going Apeshit sometimes. Either as a treat to himself, or as the natural consequence of his hidden nature.
It's like that "Izzy Isn't Crazy" theory, but in reverse. "Noah Is Crazy, He's Just Good At Masking".
In this AU, he and Izzy would get on like a house on fire.
Like recognises like, after all; Izzy would clock him as just as unhinged as herself at their first meeting, and probably confront him about his 'game plan' at the first chance she could (maybe that's why she was so quick to swap with Katie? A bid to get herself on the same team as Noah?). Noah would try to deny it at first, because he's supposed to be the 'lazy genius'- slipping from his allotted persona this soon into the competition would jeopardise his strategy!- but Izzy would reassure him that she can practically smell the crazy on him.
He'd live up to his title as 'The Schemer', by means of plotting pranks and other such events with Izzy. She'd use her status as the overt crazy girl to pull them off, and Noah would either help behind the scenes to abate his hunger for chaos, or live vicariously through Izzy's blatant mania whilst revelling in the fact that their plan(s) play out perfectly every time. Imagine how much better Izzy's bear suit prank would've been with a man on the inside- and now imagine how much better it would've been if Noah pretended to get eaten/mauled by bear!Izzy (using smuggled ketchup packets and A Lot Of Screaming to convince the Gophers of his demise)! (He'd play off the incident by blaming the whole thing on Izzy- saying she was the one who used the ketchup, and his screaming was just him being Rightfully Terrified of being eaten. Gotta keep up the charade!)
No one would suspect him either! Who would ever assume that slothful, apathetic Noah who complains about the trials and tribulations of 'hard work', 'effort' and 'physical activity' could be a friend and an accomplice to the unstoppable force of nature that is Izzy? He's always too busy shoving his nose into his book to ever consider befriending the crazy girl, there's no way Noah would even tolerate her! (/s)
I think he'd eventually reveal his true colours to Team E-scope plus Owen once their friendship is cemented off-screen. Noah isn't the trusting type (I'd clarify, but I'd end up writing a whole unrelated essay- maybe another time) and he's habitually secretive- his non-answers in the WT Character Interview and his Sierra-given title of "The Man of Mystery" attest to this- so he'd need to know that his friends are really his friends before letting himself be vulnerable/transparent with them, since any 'friendships' made on Total Drama always run the risk of being a ploy/fake. It is a social game, after all.
As for the Duncan Incident. Having Noah bite people is going to turn into a running gag for me at this point, because it's so fucking hilarious to imagine him in a scenario where he's forced/pressured into violence and immediately starts chomping down on someone. This weasel boy wasn't built for punches and kicks but On God can he use those pearly whites to cause some damage. (The human jaw has a surprisingly strong bite force. Noah absolutely knows this.)
I'd also like to suggest that Noah rips himself out of his cargo shorts after biting Duncan, leaving the punk with a bleeding handful of nerd shorts and an open wound for his troubles. He'd already let go of Noah by that point too; it's hard to maintain your grip on anything when you've got a manic bookworm tearing away at the tendons in your hands. So he's just sat there, terrified and concerned, nursing the throbbing, sluggishly bleeding bitemark on his hand and wondering how Noah managed to contort his usually stoic facial features into a grin so wild and feral.
And Noah races back to Izzy and Eva, face and teeth splattered in Duncan's blood, sans cargo shorts. Neither of them question it; Izzy has an idea of what he's done, since Noah's smugness levels have risen at least three tiers and he's smiling almost contentedly to himself, and Eva has learned how to Mind Her Own Business when it comes to Izzy and Noah's eccentricities (though she often shoots inquisitive looks towards Noah's red-painted face).
Then in World Tour? Alejandro is suffering. Noah's the only person on his team who isn't lacking braincells and/or completely unhinged (or so he thinks), and as such he's the latino's only lifeline to sanity on the forsaken jet. So when Duncan returns in London and seems scared of the harmless bookworm? That's concerning.
Assuming that Noah's a wee bit more savvy in this AU thanks to his subterfuge experience in Island, he probably wouldn't be as outwardly apparent in his distrust of Alejandro during the challenge- either that, or he'd be enjoying torturing Tyler too much to think about how much of an eel Alejandro is. So Alejandro wouldn't have any reason to want to eliminate him, if anything he'd be motivated to keep him around, if only to act as a buffer between himself and the idiocy of Team Chris.
Duncan's re-introduction and allocation to the team would be Alejandro's first inkling into the fact that Noah is more than he seems. When the delinquent is ushered to stand next to Alejandro and Noah, his pupils contract into pinpricks or terror, and his attention flickers between the aloof cynic to his side and an oval-shaped scar on his hand. The cynic shoots Duncan a friendly smile (Alejandro ignores how the smile doesn't quite reach Noah's eyes) and the punk turns sheet white.
Alejandro doesn't know what to make of it.
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Joel has a past with Etho, and It is the one secret that he keeps from Lizzie.
The war was still going strong, and Coral Crest just had a victory on the outskirts of their border. They took many prisoners in the aftermath of this long and bloody battle. Among these prisoners was Etho.
By this point in time Etho was pretty infamous and it was a big deal that he had managed to be captured at all, so his arrival at the castle, of course, caused quite the uproar. Joel was too curious for his own good, so he couldn't help but sneak into the dungeon while Lizzie and his father were asleep to see if the rumors were true. He was shocked to find that they were.
Etho struck up a conversation with Joel the second he got close enough to the cell. Joel, who hadn't even realized he had been spotted, was scared at first. However, he couldn't deny his curiosity, so he stayed and talked with him.
Etho admitted to Joel that he got captured on purpose, and that he was just bidding his time until Coral Crest put him on trial and had him killed. He talked about wanting to be free; free from the war, free from Wintertide, just free from it all, and that the only way he thought he would ever find that was through death. Joel asked why Etho was telling him this and he just shrugged and said he was going to die soon anyway so he might as well get it off his chest.
Joel went back every night after that to talk to Etho, fascinated by the strange enemy solider. As time passed, he got to know him, and in turn opened up to him as well. They became friends of sorts, or at least as close to friends as two people on opposite sides of the war could be.
He then realized that he really didn't want Etho to die, something that was inevitable the longer he was in Coral Crest. Months had passed since the initial capture, and they had indeed put him through a trial at this point. His sentence was death, just as Etho had predicted, and the date was fast approaching.
So, Joel did as he does best; he acted brashly and with little to no second thought.
In the dead of night, Joel set fire to one of trees in the courtyard. He had carefully planned it out and made sure that it would not spread to anything else, but it was still enough to cause a panic. While everyone was occupied by the flames, he stole the keys to Etho's cell and set him free.
Etho was confused and at first refused to leave the cell, determined to meet his fate on the gallows, but Joel told him to go have his second chance, make amends, and be free. Etho still wasn't sure, but he eventually caved, unwillingly to let Joel's kindness go to waste.
Somehow, Joel got away with it. He hasn't told a single soul about the deed, because if he did, he would surely be charged with treason. On Etho's part, he never told the tale of how he escaped, because he knew that in doing so, he would put Joel in danger.
Lizzie knows, but she doesn't say anything. She watched Joel sneak out every night, she watched him set the fire, and she watched Etho make his escape into the dark. She kept her silence over the years only because she trusts Joel with her heart and soul; she trusted his judgement enough to keep his secret.
Neither of them could have anticipated that Joel would come face to face with that familiar scarred man when Lizzie sent him to Wintertide to get in contact with the resistance.
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