#do i still even have to tag for those don't we all know the horrible truth by now??

[ms-demeanor]

i mean realistically many people do deserve to be the victims of targeted harassment campaigns. if you're being an asshole you deserve to be screamed at by everyone present until you stop. some people commit acts of cruelty and subsequently forfeit their reasonable right to participate in society until they've made amends.

the people of wendy's have a moral right to scream at the manager if said manager sprays them in the neck with milkshake every time they go to pick up their order

damn following up the last ask, ig it was someone in ur notes constructing an equivalence between @tting staff and getting nuked to yelling at a wendy's manager and getting kicked out. my bad lol thought that was part of ur main post

I mean this is something that's still worthwhile to bounce off of even though you're not actually responding to me.

First of all, no, I pretty much don't think that anybody deserves to be the focus of a targeted harassment campaign. At least not the kind that are spun up on tumblr or twitter. I generally think that targeted harassment campaigns don't work to change minds, they only work to torment, isolate, and attack people, which will often further entrench them in their positions.

Sometimes people doing serious antifascist work will make a discovery like, for instance "the principal of X school is a vicious antisemite" and will run an *exposure* campaign to get them removed from a position of power, but with very few exceptions when you see an online callout post for a random internet user it's nothing but abuse and an attempt to bully them off of a specific website, not an attempt to protect victims or inform people of a genuine threat. "ABC is the new alt of this person with a documented history of starting cults, DNI, block and move on" is very different than "This specific user who is on staff posts harry potter fanart and is why fascists continue to exist on tumblr, let's make sure they know what tumblr thinks of them."

You are trying to frame bullying campaigns as normal consequences for antisocial behavior, but the antisocial behaviors under discussion here are "user posted fanart broadly disliked by the community and associated with specific ideologies long after the initial fandoms were crystallized" and "is the CEO of a social media website that is implementing features that the users dislike."

"People deserve to be screamed at until they stop the bad behavior" is punitive and shitty and so broad and open to so many interpretations that you're basically saying "it's open season on screaming at people." I think that it's bad behavior to support neoliberal political candidates who prop up capitalism but it would be horrible for me to run harassment campaigns against everyone who says "vote blue no matter who" even though I think that attitude perpetuates real world harms. (And it also wouldn't convince those people to change their minds! The fact that I think they are doing something harmful doesn't give me the social license to send hundreds of people to harass them! And it wouldn't work! These kinds of campaigns don't effect change they just isolate people and erode trust and civility jesus fuck we need to be coalition building not posting callouts over whatever activity has been deemed "freak behavior" this week)

some people commit acts of cruelty and subsequently forfeit their reasonable right to participate in society until they've made amends.

oh buddy, I think I get where you're coming from here but considering the kinds of behavior under discussion this is just straight up fascist. You are literally saying that people should be banished from society for wrongthink because nobody under discussion here has actually committed an act of cruelty.

(one of the things that i'm putting under the heading of "tumblr conspiracist thinking" is "staff is currently and continually intentionally flagging certain LGBTQ tags and bloggers" - there is ample evidence that the current staff is working to unfuck flagging and blocked tags that was done long before this crew was working on it. People talk about "tumblr had to settle because their filtering disproportionately impacted lgbtq+ creators" and that is TRUE however that was a filter that was established under different owners with different policies and different staff; the implication that the current staff is guilty of trying to stifle LGBTQ+ content because a lawsuit started before the Automattic purchase of tumblr ended in a financial settlement is just bad, wrong, incorrect, faulty logic. And if I might indulge in a bit of my own conspiracist thinking: I actually suspect a lot of the flagging and tagging and blocking of trans women specifically might actually be targeted attacks of individual users by terfs - many of the things that are getting flagged as needing a community label are things that use tags that terfs follow to attack and if enough users click "this needs a community label" the post will get flagged - I don't know that that's what's going on but just operating on occam's razor I think it's a lot more likely that terfs are coordinating attacks on trans people than that there is a secret group of cryptoterfs on staff taking time out of their day to ensure that trans users get flagged, if only because I think that the vocally trans positive former members of the staff would have said something about it.)

So, given that my position is "it is unlikely that anyone on staff is intentionally targeting LGBTQ+ groups HOWEVER prior policies enacted harm against LGBTQ+ groups and there is visible evidence that the current staff is trying to repair that damage" I'm not seeing any behaviors here that call for individual employees or users to get targeted with harassment from thousands of users.

But anyway, back to the specifics of the ask:

some people commit acts of cruelty and subsequently forfeit their reasonable right to participate in society until they've made amends.

Do you have any idea how frequently amends are made and never circulated as widely as the callout post? Do you have any idea how frequently callout posts are incorrect, and exaggerate the things that need to be amended? I'm reminded of Lindsey Ellis, who was the victim of a years-long targeted harassment campaign and made multiple apologies over the years who was finally driven off of her primary platform because she carelessly misspoke and the people who had been targeting her for years were able to make a post that she had long disavowed and was a relic of her dealing with the aftermath of sexual violence go viral. The internet doesn't let people make amends; people see accusations. They see the first post, not the follow up. That's why starting these campaigns is shitty and dangerous even if you *personally* believe that you'll forgive an individual once they "make amends." (and the "amends" people usually demand are "i want this person gone from the internet forever and cut out of this part of their life" - that's not really something that's fair to ask of people when so much of the world is online these days.)

the people of wendy's have a moral right to scream at the manager if said manager sprays them in the neck with milkshake every time they go to pick up their order

No they don't. Straight up. If the manager of a wendy's sprays you in the neck with a milkshake you have the right to escalate your complaint right up the chain, take your business away and never come back, warn other people "hey the manager sprayed me with a milkshake, stay away," but you don't have the moral right to escalate the situation by screaming at them (and you certainly don't have that right if you happened to get sprayed with some milkshake while the manager was attempting to fix the frostee machine when you came to pick up your order, which I think is actually more analogous to what is happening here).

someone in ur notes constructing an equivalence between @tting staff and getting nuked to yelling at a wendy's manager and getting kicked out

A big point that I think you're missing here is that @-ing staff when there is a problem on a post or you see harassment is generally pretty acceptable (though much less effective than filing a support claim), but the issue under discussion isn't @-ing staff, it was pointing thousands of angry people at two specific people who are *part* of staff and holding those two individuals responsible for all the problems that users see with tumblr.

partyjockers got nuked because their post directed a flood of harassment at one staff member in a post where they had highlighted that user's URL and name:

This is explicitly saying "users like the one I screenshotted are the reason you're being attacked by terfs" because one member of staff posted fanart from two franchises that tumblr-the-userbase has deemed off limits.

(Do you have any idea how extreme a bubble this is? Do you walk into barnes and noble and sigh because the managers are fascists who want trans people dead because there's harry potter merch everywhere? JK rowling is a terf and a horrible fucking person and I am no longer personally comfortable engaging with that fandom but people posting fanart of a franchise are not personally attacking you even if it feels like they are disregarding your humanity; you cannot consider other people's participation in huge, popular, mainstream fandoms as a sign that they are plotting against you this is why i'm calling this conspiracist thinking the entire scorched earth conspiracy spawned from someone interpreting a staff member's art as esoteric signposts signalling their hatred of trans people. Do you remember when the stupid harry potter game came out and this entire website was despondent because it meant that people didn't care about trans people? That's not actually what it meant! What it meant is that the vast majority of people on the planet have neither a twitter nor a tumblr account and have no idea how shitty JK rowling is to trans people and they don't interpret "harry potter imagery" as "covert terf signal" they interpret it as "possibly the most mainstream fantasy series in the last fifty years")

This isn't someone calling out the manager after they spray you with a milkshake. The manager asking someone to leave after they started screaming that the cashier's earrings were hate speech.

This analogy got out of hand but please just understand that there's a difference between @-ing an account that people are paid to monitor as part of their jobs and that they have support and coworkers to help with and @-ing someone's personal account.

Nobody got a post deleted because the used @ staff, they got their posts deleted because they focused viral negative attention on individual users.

[2smolbeans]

"Nearly breaking down as you saw Marco softly smile at you. A smile you haven't seen ever since he found his 'darling'."

Part 2 Part 2.5 character info

Love Me, Love Me Not

Yandere Best Friend x Obstacle Reader

*unedited

Tags: kidnapping, complicit murder, guilt, suggestive tones, mixed signals, eventual smut, oneshot, reader is going through mixed feelings, one sided crush, yandere is in love with someone else, imprisonment, will they won't they vibes.

Disclaimer: This is just a scenario I thought of with an Oc! So nothing is really 'official' or canon-

_____________________________

One too many times, you should've called the police. Why didn't you though? Now you sit there on the shower floor, hot water burning your back as you try to warm up the chill that goes down your spine. Their eyes, oh god they were open and staring at you dead in fear. Why did you cover for him?

You felt the sob trapped in your throat rip out of you as you remembered all the horrible things you were complicit in. There was nothing you could do now but accept the reality. You wouldn't get caught. The two of you burned all the evidence, and sadly, the victims were easy to dispose of. Did anyone look for them? Was anyone curious about them going missing?

The guilt was heavy, and it didn't help that the person you did it for- couldn't give two shits about you.

Marco, your happy go lucky best friend. You remembered that night when he called you, in a panic, begging you to rush to where he was. Of course you went, you were so worried for him. Upon arrival, you saw the large bag and tools. The look on his face warning you to do as he says before he decides to have another matching body bag beside him.

"You trust me don't you? I just need help with this, and then we can be over with it!"

You should've ran, screamed, called for help. But instead, you just grabbed the lower half of the bag, feeling the dreadful sensation of its limbs. You heard a shocked hum across you before the bag lifted off the ground.

"This is why you're always my number one go to. I apperciate this, I mean it. I won't ever forget this. Now follow me 'kay?"

What a joke. It was all a lie, wasn't it? All of that just for some sick obsession. Just for his "girlfriend" to focus on him and him only. If Marco just pursued her normally like a decent fucking human being, nobody would've been hurt, lies wouldn't have been told, your friendship would've been intact..

He could've just told those once alive victims that he wanted to ask her out. If Marco just smiled at her like he used to smile towards you- you're damn sure she would've fallen for him.

It worked for you afterall..

Maybe you should've let go when you had the chance. Cause now here you are, fending for your life as the killer you once called a friend claims you're the very obstacle of their relationship.

What? But you helped him?

You're staring at her in the wrong way.

Are you fucking kidding me? Does he know how many times you cried. The nights you spent mourning for the dead and the friendship that once was?

He still cares about you. But you forced him to get rid of you.

That's funny since you're currently showering at his apartment. You can't leave, though. He's locked the doors and windows. He even went as far as locking the knife cabniet and potential weapons. Still with the shower running, you didn't flinch at the sound of the bathroom door opening.

Curled up in a ball as you sat in the shower, you finally saw the eyes staring down at your naked form. You couldn't read his face, understand his expression, or even tell what he was thinking. It was foreign, new.

"Hey. Are you done? You're taking up the water bill y'know?"

Oh right, how long were you there for? Awkardly, you tried standing up while covering yourself with what little your hands could hide. You hoped he would at least save you some dignity, but he just kept staring with a blank expression.

"Here's a towel. Dry up and come to the kitchen. I made us something to eat"

You thanked Marco as you were quick to wrap your body with the towel. Looking again at Marco, you saw a hint of dissapointnent splay upon his eyes.

"Okay..Well just-Just..do whatever. Don't take too long or else I'll drag you out myself."

Rolling your eyes, you pushed Marco out of the bathroom as you closed the door. Locking - Oh right, he removed all the locks to each room..Drying off your body, you put on the clothes he left for you. Eventually, you made it to the kitchen, sitting down on the chair as you watched him cook.

He looked so calm, so soft as he focused on flipping the meat. You almost smiled when you heard him mutter about how he spilled some oil on his shirt.

Eventually sitting down to join you, Marco gave you your food as he offered you a drink. You declined of course, not feeling thirsty and paranoid of whatever poison he might spike it with. Smelling the aroma of the food, you felt your mouth water. He was always a good cook, hell you remembered the first time you visited his place.

How he made you a nice cooked lamb with mash potatoes. You recalled it being the first time you've ever seen Marco so particular about a certain thing - even though he's always been a speradic and chaotic individual. Though, the quick realization of your perdicment made the food cold and unappetizing.

Biting your lip, you turn your head away as you felt your eyes burn.

Don't cry, don't cry.

You sucked it up. Inhaled the air that surrounded you and forced a bite into your mouth. The food was good, you couldn't deny it. But it didn't taste as good as it did before. It's good, you say. Nearly breaking down as you saw Marco softly smile at you. A smile you haven't seen ever since he found his 'darling'. You want to run away and cry, to start fresh and new.

"I'm actually glad you moved in with me, it feels nice talking to someone who's helped me"

With the murders?

"Hey, we finally reached one of our bucket lists! To be roomates! Huh, well isn't that kind of funny? And we didn't even plan it out- kinda just happened huh!"

He was just rubbing the salt in the wound at this point. Forcing a smile, you just continued eating, chewing your food as a distraction as he kept on staring at you. Where's his girlfriend? Why didn’t he just make her move into his apartment if you're in the way?

"Oh her? She's at work, don't worry about it"

You stop eating, finishing your plate as you push it towards Marco.

"All done? I'm glad you enjoyed it! Just sit right there while I put everything away"

Is there any way for you to escape? There has to be a way, right? What are you doing here? How long is Marco planning on keeping you alive?

"Hey, your not thinking of doing anything weird right?"

You nod your head no profusely, trying to get his suspicion off of you. Patting your shoulder, Marco motions you to the couch. Sitting down before you as he drags you along with him. Placing you on his lap, he turns on the TV- switching through channels while you freeze on the spot.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Out of nowhere, his hands slowly begin to play with your shirt. His fingers rubbing up and down your sides, his crouch nearly pressing against you. Confused, you just sit there, your hands on your knees as you glued your eyes to the screen.

"You're not lying to me, are you?"

His voice is so sweet, so much closer than you anticapted. You nearly buck against his touch just as his palm brushes a certain spot ever so subtly. Why was he doing this? You had a slight speculation why - or at least a hopeful stupid thought that would fufill your old wishes.

"...If you say so"

You find yourself now sitting beside him, pushed off of his lap. Feeling the weight shift on the couch, Marco stood up and walked away for what seemed like forever.

"I just remembered I have to quickly run by to get some things. I'll be back.."

If like nothing happened, you were alone. Confused, you wave your hands around as you scrunch up your face. Talking to yourself as you pace around the room. Calming down, you walk towards the door. Examining it as you realised that Marco had left one of the security laches loose. Should you risk it? You could grab the butterknife he gave you for the meal to loosen the door..

Oh fuck.

You could perhaps finally leave.

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Part 2 coming up soon!

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#yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere prompt #yandere headcanons #yandere oc #yandere ocs #yandere thoughts #yandere male x reader #yandere male #yandere bestfriend #yandere best friend #poly yandere #yandere oneshot #yandere smut #yandere things #yandere writing #yandere!male #sangwook #Marco #Marco Sangwook

[adora-but-ginger]

Ardently Yours

ardent (adjective): to fall into strong feelings for or to develop a crush; to begin to love

pairing: spencer reid x psychic! gender neutral reader

synopsis: the four times where you almost call spencer by his first name, and the one time that you do

warnings: typical cm talk and discussions, a quick undercover case, spencer reid is NOT straight, honestly assume that any character i write for isn't straight, food mentions, swearing (probably), nervous spencer at the end, me having a bias towards glasses reid

masterlist

word count: ~5k

a/n: here is the next installment for my psychic reader collection! i spent a lot of time and effort on this one, and i have not written something this long in awhile, so i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do!

want to be tagged? let me know!

not proofread whoops again

credit to gif owner!

i.

"Why do you drink coffee when you don't even like it?" You were by the kitchenette as Spencer rolled up for his morning caffeine fix, caught off guard by the realization that he wasn't alone.

He turned to you, adding sugar into his beverage. "Caffeine is a stimulant that increases your brain and nervous system's alertness. We work really odd hours. I don't understand what you're asking." The flow of sugar didn't stop until he was almost done talking, your eyes widening every second he kept pouring.

"Yes but aren't there other drinks that get the same result? Why coffee when you obviously don't like the taste?" You watched as he stirred the sugar-with-a-dash-of-coffee drink together, combining the ingredients.

He shrugged as he pushed up his glasses to sit better on his nose. "It's what's easily available."

"Hmm." You scrunched your eyebrows together. "Do you like tea?"

"I much prefer tea, actually." A wisp of hair fell in front of his face, and you were tempted to push it away. You weren't going to, that was absurd. But you were tempted. You had just reached a truce not too long ago and put your differences aside, meaning you had to make every moment count if you wanted to keep the peace.

Reid surveyed the room before continuing, as to watch for any possible intruders. "Last time I walked in with tea though, Morgan commented on my cup and would only talk to me in a horrible British accent the rest of the day." A small smile crept onto his features. "Learned that lesson quite quickly."

Now that you didn't seethe at the sight of him, you were able to read Reid better. Six months into the BAU now and you were able to have civilized conversations with the genius, progress that you valued as you got to know him. He was skeptical of what you could do with your mind still, but at least he was less vocal about it.

Something was different this morning though, but that may just be on your side. Because at seven a.m. sharp Spencer walked into the bullpen with those frames of his adorning his face, something that he hadn't done since the first month you were here. Why was that a problem? Because you couldn't keep your eyes off of him.

Maybe it was the change, or maybe it was something else, but you were put into a daze the first few seconds you saw him.

You came back to reality just in time for him to make his leave, and you made the collective decision to make a pit stop on the way in tomorrow if there were no cases announced today. You needed a change of pace in your morning routine anyway. At least, that's what you told yourself as you walked back to your desk, getting Emily's attention before striking up a riveting conversation with her regarding her weekend plans.

--

The next day when you walked into the office, you were balancing two drinks, one pastry, and a load of anxiety in your hands. You were the first one there, showing up a half an hour early as Spencer appeared twenty minutes early on the dot without missing a day. You had stopped by the café next to your apartment on your way here, getting yourself a drink and ordering a tea for Spencer that felt right. You didn't know what he usually had, but your mind searched his the day before to get a good grasp of the basics.

You knew that he had a big thing with germs (which was completely justified) and so you delicately laid down a folded napkin as a coaster for his tea before writing a little note of what it was. You signed with your initials before rounding to your own desk, just in the nick of time. You glanced down at your watch as it struck twenty-to, and watched nonchalantly as Reid walked into the office, immediately noting your presence and giving an awkward wave. The rest of the team filed in not too long after, and before you knew it you had lost a few hours to paperwork. It wasn't until midday that you felt a presence near your desk, the energy telling you it was Reid before you even looked in his direction.

"You got me baked goods. And a drink. Why?"

"The tea is caffeinated, and it's green--I know some people have sensitivities to other bases but usually green is a safe bet. It was no big deal, I had a couple punch cards that I turned in for free goodies so please don't think you owe me anything."

He awkwardly leaned against the side of your desk, trying to find a place to stick his hands. "Why did you do it?"

"Why do you think I did it?"

"I'm not sure. I looked up the shop on the cup and it's ten minutes in the opposite direction from here, you didn't go out of your way did you?"

Yes, you totally did. "No not at all, it was on my way."

He squinted at you, knowing you were telling a fib but not confident enough to call it out.

"Plus, I get the feeling you like pastries of the sort."

A smile flashed across his face. "I do, actually, the one you got is my favorite type."

You shot him a wink. "I thought so. You like the drink too?"

His shoulders slumped into a more relaxed response as the conversation went on. "I did, I never had that type before, but it was quite nice. The flavors were all very balanced, and I appreciated the sugar packets you brought along with it." He stood up, beginning to head back to his desk. "Thank you."

"Anytime Reid."

Were you there long enough to use his first name? It was a tricky thing, names, because some didn't mind being on a first-name basis from the get-go, but Reid was different.

It almost fell from your lips just then too, as he was walking away.

Maybe today wasn't the day, but you hoped soon it would be.

ii.

You were called into a case before you could finish your Saturday morning routine, and by midday the jet was taking you to Kentucky. with the woods surrounding you on pretty much all sides. That plus the humidity ever present equaled a very irritable team.

It was two days in when the profile was given, but your focus was on one of the local cops at the department. You didn't want to make it a big deal, but your incessant glaring was clearly making him uncomfortable. He was hiding something. Prentiss was the one to cue you first, nudging your arm after realizing you weren't letting up on your stare down.

"What is it? Everything alright?" She crossed her arms as she followed your line of sight.

"Yeah, it's just something's off."

"What's off?" Spencer appeared seemingly from nowhere and perched himself on your other side.

"Oh, hey Reid." Emily nodded in your direction. "They're reading Mr. Cowboy Boots over there." Sure enough, the cop had a pair on that did not match the uniform at all.

"His aura is different." You squinted as he gathered up some paperwork. "Most of the people in this office have an uncomfortable energy, but his is just...different. Not a good different either." A moment of silence filled the air. "Plus, I hate that toupee of his. It looks like a joke." He turned towards the three of you and you all glanced in separate directions, trying but failing to look like you hadn't just been studying him.

"The way he flows just doesn't match the energy of the others, and I'm going to figure out why."

"How can you tell?" Spencer looked from the man in question to the other locals, trying to understand an inch of what you were saying.

You kicked off from the wall you were slouching against before starting on your way towards him. "I just can. Give me a minute." And off you went.

You just needed to strike up small talk with him, really look into his eyes to try and uncover your rising suspicions. You were in earshot of Emily and Reid still, and it didn't take you long to understand why you were feeling the way you were.

Nodding as an exit cue, you booked it toward your two coworkers. "Call Garcia." You closed your eyes for a second, focusing your thoughts. "He knows the unsub. I don't know how, but either through friendship or familial ties, Boots over there is familiar with these murders.

"All you did was discuss tomorrow's weather, how can you know?" Spencer looked at you, confusion written all over those chiseled cheekbones.

You hummed as you reached out to flick an invisible piece of dust from his sweater vest. "His heart, it tells a story. A story of betrayal, of protecting a secret. Not like a typical hidden truth, but something much, much darker. He's inserting himself into this case as much as he can because of it." He reached for his found to send Penelope your info, no matter how apprehensive he was about it. You could tell he was unsure, but if it meant getting one step closer to catching this killer, he wasn't going to question it. Not now at least.

He picked up his phone, adjusting his glasses as he did so. "Hey, Garcia? We need you to check something out."

Emily went to relay the information to Gideon, and you took a moment to admire the boy genius. You had to admit that ever since you two started getting along, you were seeing him in a new light. A light that you wished minded its own damn business. His awkwardness was adorable, and when he showed up to the case today wearing those glasses of his, well, you had to pencil in a cold shower for later.

Whether he knew it or not, he truly was gorgeous.

You weren't planning to acknowledge those feelings anytime soon though. There was a killer on the loose and this was the last thing you needed to be thinking about right now.

"He hasn't slept since the beginning of the case either. Those bags under his eyes are days old and he--" Spencer stared at you as he telephoned your information to Garcia's side. "He has a grass allergy. That last part isn't important, I just needed to let someone else know that I knew that too." You mumbled the last part of yourself, looking briefly out towards the cloudy evening.

He turned towards you, shooting you a confused look. He covered the phone with his hand. "You can tell if someone has an allergy?"

You shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I can." You squinted your eyes at him, and you two had worked together enough now that he knew you were reading him. "You're allergic to pollen." The lack of reaction from him was reaction enough. "And peaches? Cantaloupe, too."

The corner of his eye twitched, and you smirked at your victory. He resumed his attention to the phone. "Garcia, they're freaking me out again, reading my mind."

Maybe you two were friends. Friends call each other by their first names, right? You silently tested it out on your tongue.

Gideon's voice grabbed the two of you's attention before his name could fall from your lips.

iii.

You were not a fan of going undercover. It was a part of the job that you thankfully didn't have to exercise much of, but whenever the opportunity arose, you did your best to avoid it. It was uncomfortable, especially when you fit the victimology to a tee. You had a weapon tucked away as a fail-safe, but there you were, sitting alone in a bar with a glass untouched in front of you.

Act as though you had a fresh break-up, he's going after people who seem heartbroken.

Make sure not to draw too much attention.

Let us know the moment he leads you out. Click the pen and we'll be sent an alert.

You were a decent actor, but it felt weird knowing that you were practically bait for this case. It didn't help that you hated the bar setting, the sticky floors, questionable seats, and dim lighting. Not to mention they were always overcrowded whenever you went. No, you'd much rather be at home, or honestly anywhere rather than here.

"Any updates?" Reid's voice sounded through your earpiece, relaxing you a little. The team was strategically placed outside the establishment, with Spencer also somewhere within the pool of people inhabiting this bar. Back-up, he called it, though you were pretty sure that you'd be a better shot than he was. Plus, he hated this setting even more than you. So why was he here?

You tried to search for him, attempting to find the brunette in the mass of people. You caught someone's eyes in the process, quickly locking theirs with your own before moving on.

Here we go.

The man fit the profile to a tee, and noticing that you were alone started to make his way to you.

You swirled your drink in your hand as he sauntered up to you. Even if you weren't here undercover, you wouldn't go near this guy with a jousting pole. Time to put on the charm.

"Well hey there, you look lonely."

You put on an overly friendly smile. "Oh, you're too kind."

"Mind if I take a seat?"

One glance at him and you knew. This was your guy. You clicked the alarm disguised as a pen, and now you just had to get him out of the bar. "Go right ahead."

It took ten minutes before you could get anywhere, and by the time you convinced him to leave with you, you wanted to retch--his grubby hands were laying on your shoulder, rubbing it as he walked alongside you, other hand on the small of your back.

You were definitely making sure that as a reward for putting up with this, you had your paperwork covered for at least a week.

One moment you felt the fresh evening air, the next you heard shouts from all sides. But then you felt cold metal against your neck, and you realized this was going to take a little longer than expected. This is exactly why you hated going undercover.

"Put the guns down or they get it." You hadn't been on this side of the job yet, being held hostage with your teammates staring down the possibility of what one wrong move could mean.

"Statistically, killers like you try to take the path of police-assisted suicide in a situation like this, but you can make it out with a life sentence if you're smart about it. Either way, you'll never see what life looks like out of cement walls." Reid's voice sounded from behind you, as you welcomed the wave of relief that swept over you as his voice hit your ears. "Choose wisely."

You sensed it before it happened. You kicked his kneecap in as he went to swipe at you, and though you ended up with pain lightly searing against your clavicle, there Reid was, handcuffing him before handing him over to Morgan.

Spencer noticed your wound and moved towards you. "Is it deep?"

You shook your head. "No, just stings."

"I had eyes on you the entire time. I know it was really busy in there, but I was there. Just in case. I didn't lose you, you were safe." He waited a second before continuing. "Let's go get that cleaned up, it's pretty nasty looking."

You sent a smile at the man. "Thank you. Seriously, Spen--"

Gideon called both of your names before you could finish the sentence, leaving his first name still unknown on your lips.

iv.

The weather was just starting to clear again. It wasn't humid in D.C. and the temperature was at a steady rise, though it was still bearable. You had been talking with Hotch about weekend plans, which you had to admit was a little odd.

It wasn't that you and Aaron didn't get along, per se, but you two had just never sought the other out during non-work hours. He was telling you about his partner, Hailey, who sounded lovely. You'd never seen the man as lively as when he was talking about her.

"And then she offered to go to the art gallery to see the new exhibit, which I didn't even know about."

"You like art?" You were leaning against his desk with a cup of coffee in hand.

"I do. What about you, any events planned?"

You shook your head. "No, just me and my fish catching up on some reading hopefully."

"You know Reid reads too?" Hotch looked over to the man of the hour who was coincidentally staring back, quickly glancing away as if caught.

"Reid reads. There has to be a pun in there." You snorted at your words, shrugging afterward. "He reads books that I have no interest in though, and I distinctly remember hearing about his disdain for fiction, which is my forte."

"I'm sure if you asked him, he would." He paused for a moment before shuffling some papers. "You two could start your own book club."

This was the thing with Aaron, you could never tell if he was joking.

"In fact, he's coming this way now." Surprise scribbled onto your face as you turned to look behind you. Sure enough, like he'd been summoned, there was Spencer striding over. His contacts must have been picked up because he was bare-faced today, which made no difference to you--your heart still skipped a beat. You noticed he was giving off lots of nervous energy as he approached, though from the outside he looked relatively relaxed.

"Why are you nervous Reid?" Never one to beat around the bush, you were.

That relaxation quickly dissipated as he looked towards you and Hotch. His eyes met yours. "How do you--never mind. Do you have a second?"

You nodded. "Hotch, tell me how the exhibit goes, yeah?" With a nod from Aaron, you met Spencer halfway, motioning him to lead the onward. "What's up?"

He didn't speak until you got to his desk. "First, before I say anything, know that I do not mind at all if you say no."

"Okay...?" You watched him skeptically as he fiddled with his hands, looking at you every few seconds before surveying the room. "What, are you about to ask me on a date or somet--"

"I have two tickets to the star show they're hosting at the planetarium on Saturday, and I know that you love the constellations. I've been once before and it was really nice, they tell you all about the patterns and legends behind each one and I think you'd really like it. Penelope suggested I ask you since you usually are relatively free on the weekends, which isn't a bad thing of course. In fact, I don't usually do much on the weekends besides going to the park and playing chess with the regulars there." He was rambling, truly on edge about how'd you respond. A smile started to rise on you. "It's later in the evening so when you leave the planetarium you can see the stars in question, but it's not too far from my place and you do not have to go if you're busy or don't want to, I just thought I'd ask."

His eyes were wide as you ate up every one of his words. His voice was like the harmony of your favorite song--you loved to pick it out and listen to how each of the words he spoke flowed. His face had a tint of rose on it, and a piece of hair had fallen into his eyes. You had to once more withhold from pushing it back into place.

"I would love to go, where would you like to meet?"

Shock was written all over his features at your accepting of his invitation, and you were pretty sure he was already preparing a proper response to a rejection when you said your words.

"You want to go?"

A nod accompanied you. "Yeah, you can teach me all about the science and I can teach you all about your star sign."

He shot you a quizzical glance before relaxing his shoulders. Man, he was really tense. "Okay. Okay, great! I can send you my address. We can walk there from my place, it's only about ten minutes away. It's at 7 pm, does that work?"

"Works perfect for me." A thought popped into your head, one that could make this outing seem to be much more than it really was. "That's a little past when I eat, want to grab dinner beforehand?"

He scrunched his eyebrows at you. Uneasiness started to form in your belly, maybe you were being a little too bold. "What type of dinner? Restaurant dinner or takeout dinner?"

"We could do takeout? You said you know a 24-hour Thai place around here, right? It's one of your favorite places in the area."

He was almost caught in a trance then, looking nearly through you, staring at you with an expression you had never really seen on his face before. "You remembered that?"

"Of course I did, I remember things about the people I care about."

He couldn't speak for a second after your words. Yeah, you were definitely being too bold.

"You--" His voice cracked and you almost chuckled as he cleared his throat. "--I'll grab some food from there before we head out. Want to stop by around six?"

"Six it is. See you there, boy wonder." You shot a wink his way. "And thank you for the invite, I cannot wait to go." His first name was on the tip of your tongue, ready to spill out at the slightest egging on. He looked almost expectantly at you and you had to remind yourself of where you were and who you were with.

This wouldn't be considered a date, would it?

v.

Spencer totally thought this was a date. He could count the number of dates he'd been on on his hand, and most of them were with Ethan. It'd been a while since he'd gone out, and he was nervous.

What if he was overdressed? What if he was underdressed? What even was the dress code for the night? What if you didn't show up?

He tried to not let that last thought get to him because if it did then he would spiral and would all in all not have a good time tonight. This wasn't platonic, right? He didn't think it was. Did you? Did--

A knock at his door interrupted his ruminating. He scrambled to make sure he looked presentable, heart practically thrumming against his rib cage as he did so. There was just one problem.

He couldn't see.

It wasn't that he hated how he looked with his glasses on, but it made him feel self-conscious and he hated to wear the frames outside of his house. The only problem was that the last of his contacts had dried out, and he really wanted to look nice for your guys' outing. He could not see more than five feet in front of him for his life, which in retrospect kind of ruined the whole point of looking at the stars.

That didn't matter in his mind as long as it impressed you. He knew that he shouldn't dress to impress, but you and your alternative methods of profiling had snuck their way into his brain and refused to leave. He thought about whether you'd do the daily crossword with him almost every morning. He made sure to always bring an extra morning snack in the case that you got hungry. Hell, he was writing to his mother about you.

He was in much farther than he knew.

A second round of knocks sounded at the door.

He opened it after looking through the peephole and nearly lost his breath.

You were stunning, and he felt more out of his element than he had in years.

Wow, he was really in deep.

"Phew, I thought I had the wrong address at first. I am so ready for some Thai and stars!" You entered his place, but his mind was still a few steps behind. "This place is beautiful, and so...you!" Neat piles of books were stacked in rows alongside his couch, and as he went to readjust one's positioning his lack of visual clarity made him trip.

Great.

You rushed over to him, careful to keep your distance but still close enough to offer help if he asked. "Woah, are you alright there?"

"Yeah, I-I just must've not seen where I was heading." He could feel the dust adorning his cheeks. He was totally making a fool out of himself. "Please, take a seat at the table, the food is still hot."

You smiled and nodded, taking in the contents of his home whilst sitting down. He went over and grabbed the Thai food, bringing it over to the table. He set the food down and went to sit, not knowing that this was the moment before a disaster. One of the chairs must not have been fully pushed in, and with the combination of his nerves, and his blurriness, his foot got caught right over it as he went to sit across from you.

Now, you fully respected and understood Spencer's hatred of germs, so you'd apologize later for coming to the rescue. That being said, you sensed it a half a second before it was going to happen, stood up, and reached out to catch him.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" His arms were on yours, bracing them for stability. "What's wrong? Are you sick?" He could feel your eyes looking him up and down for any signs of maladies. "We can reschedule and go another night if something's wrong." He really did not want to admit the reasoning behind his clumsiness. "I can take you to the doctor's if you're feeling ill." Now he definitely had to expose himself. How would he even explain this to a medical professional?

Oh hey doc, I got told repeatedly that I look better with contacts and now the one time I need them I don't have them which ironically is the one night in years that I had to chance to go out with someone who I think I'm starting to really like so can you please give me a fake diagnosis so they didn't drive me here for nothing?

Yeah, that wasn't going to work. He had to bite the bullet. "I'm not sick." He slowly removed himself from your grasp. "I just can't see."

A concerned look graced your features. "What? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just--"

"You just what Reid? You can talk to me. Your energy is super wonky right now. I'm getting a little worried for you."

This was stupid. He was acting stupid. He shouldn't be embarrassed by this. You were just looking out for him, that was all, it was all probably surface level anyway. It was all--

"Spencer, what's wrong?"

His breath stifled to a halt.

"What did you just say?"

Your concerned look deepened.

"I asked what was wrong."

You had never called him by his first name before.

He shook his head. "No, before that." His eyes met yours. "You've never said my first name before."

A flash of...regret? nerves? shot through your eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep any boundaries. I should've asked--"

"Say it again." He properly sat down. "My name I mean, say it again. Please."

"You're not mad?" You were tentative with your words now, adding his name after a beat. "...Spencer?"

His name formed like the first rain shower after a draught on your lips, falling with the grace of the autumn leaves from your tongue.

"You've never called me that before." His expression was shy, and man he wished he could see more than your blurry figure right now. "I, uh, thought I could go without my glasses tonight, but I also don't have my contacts."

"Would you like me to call you that more?" You were going to make him go into freaking cardiac arrest. He nodded fervently. Your shoulders slightly lost some of their tension. "Why would you do that to yourself? You wouldn't be able to see."

"Statistically those who wea--"

"Spencer."

Oh, he was turning to putty now. You were going to kill him, and he didn't mind.

"I thought I would look better without them."

A scoff emitted from you. "If you need them to see, you need them to see. Don't change your appearance for the approval or interest of someone else." He felt the red rush up his neck, around his ears. "Plus," You added with a quieter tone. "I think you look plenty good with them on." You locked eyes. "Gorgeous, even. There's a reason Morgan calls you pretty boy, you know."

Gorgeous? You just called him gorgeous. No one had called him that before.

"Really?"

"Really, Spencer."

Yeah, he was done for.

taglist:

@alllriseabove @kitty-kei @donttrustlove @jiuseoks

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #bau #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction #gender neutral reader #psych you out in the end #spencer reid fanfiction

[polinsated]

@polin-erospsyche said these tags i wrote shouldn't be tags, and i trust her with my possible-inpending embarrassment, apparently, so, here you go:

i adore this look so much. the way colin looks at pen here will never not be used as a defence against people saying polin are 'rushed', or 'have no chemistry', or whatever it is they're saying now. and here's my little take on it.

-> you know how they say, you don't know what you have until it's gone. in this case, colin didn't realise how much he needed pen and her letters until they were gone....

—

this lonely, weary traveller has been away for months. we know his family doesn't often reply to his letters. and although he jokes about it, and they do too, we can all agree that he's upset by this, yes?

so in this moment, he turns around and sees the only person who has been corresponding with him throughout his journeys. he sees the woman who not only responds to every letter he sends but also who does so with genuine interest and fondness. the person who has made him feel like he has had a friend there with him on his travels. i personally believe he was alone for most, if not, nearly all of the time he was away. though, even if he did have some companionship; penelope was his constant for that time.

she has probably been keeping him entertained with stories, making sure he knows his family is okay, and asking him about every detail of his adventures. and in my opinion, i believe she barely ever mentioned herself in these letters. she has really been there with him every step of the way via her open ears (nay eyes) and written words.

and so finally, he sees her there, and i don't think he knows what to do with himself.

does he want to just say hello? probably not - look at his face! does he want to sit down with her right away and ramble on about things he has yet to say? or maybe just tell the same stories - because he knows she will listen, and she will understand, and she will enjoy hearing about them. maybe. does he want to hug her and say thank you? possibly.

my point is that i think he doesn't know what to do. it's such a short look that he doesn't have time to decide. and he's suspended in those moments when he sees her looking back at him with a huge smile on her face. he's overwhelmed.

i may be wrong in this part, but i also think he's a little surprised. he knows pen hangs out with his family a lot, but i don't think he expected her to be there right at that very moment he walked in the door. the man is baffled, to me. and in love.. despite not knowing it yet, hehe.

and it leads me to the sudden and heartbreaking point of 3.01. when colin has finished greeting his family, he turns to look at the featherington house because he notices right away that pen is not there like last time. and now it feels wrong that she isn't.

and if you watch that moment, the exact part when he turns back to his family again, there is something in the way his hands swing loosely at his sides, like a defeated sigh from his body - if you know what i'm trying to say.

his body language, to me, just screams disheartened... dispirited, or whatever other fancy word you'd see fit to use. but it's so subtle...

and then later we find out that penelope didn't respond to any of his letters this time. and i can only imagine how confused he is. because, honestly, he probably forgot about the horrible courting comment he made, and even if he remembered, he doesn't know then that pen heard it. so in his mind he is wondering where on earth his friend is. the possibility that she could be unwell has probably also crossed his mind. he is just - desperate, most likely - at this point to find out what's going on.

the thought of him, on his travels, everyday wondering why there still hasn't been a single letter signed 'penelope' absolutely breaks my heart.

and while i was about to end this post, i just thought about colin actually writing his own letters, and how he might've changed his tone along the way... do you think they ever included such words as something like: "i eagerly await your response." / "i hope to hear from you sometime soon." / "are you well, pen?"

or even this soul destroying, lump in the throat inducing quote that my mind has just come up with: "i've begun to think that there's a possibility you have not received my recent letters. for several weeks i have not heard back. not even a single tidbit about your mama, or my bothersome siblings. i must admit, my travels have not been as such fun or as fascinating as when i have my good friend to tell them to. i hope my writing finds you soon enough, or that yours finds me."

......

anyway, i don't write metas.. or i do and i never post them because i feel stupid and rambly and i'm never sure if it makes sense, but, i'm being a little brave here, haha. (thank you, luwen)

#i am... unsure of this #i'm probably gonna delete it 😫😬 #polin meta #polin spoilers #polin #bridgerton 2x02 #colin x penelope

[creedslove]

BETRAYED - PART FIVE

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: Pedro invites you to be his plus one for the night but his attention is caught by another woman and leaves you with a broken heart

Warnings: angst, age gap, established friendship, unrequited love/one sided feelings, fluff, glimpse of Pedro being a great (silly) dad, and more angst of course

A/N: I really don't know what you guys will think of this part. It is longer than the others and for those who don't want Pedro to be forgiven, you can consider this the ideal end, though this is NOT the last chapter. I still have some ideas for this story but their development will go according to what you guys want, especially because due to all the feedback I've received over the last week (yes today marks one week I posted the first chapter) things are pretty divided between who wants a happy ending and who wants a sad one, lol!

A/N Part 2: I still can't manually tag people on the works because I use the app and it won't let me do it, that's why I don't have a tag list at all!

3.2k words

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

Your heart clenched the moment you heard Kate's words. Pedro was there. After months pretending not to know each other, after not seeing him nor listening to his voice, months after the horrible argument you two had, where you both said horrible things to each other, words that hurt you two deeply, but also needed to be said. So you two could break free from what was holding you back. You and your mindless passion for Pedro, and him and his incapability of letting you go.

You realized you went silent for several seconds and Kate was staring at you with a worried look on her face, so you gave her a nervous smile and nodded "there's no problem, really. We are not making a scene or anything, I mean, we didn't have that much of a fight, it wasn't that serious"

"Yes, it was, Y/N" Kate said in a low voice "you completely fell out with each other, you have never been apart from long and honestly, he seems the saddest I've ever seen, and you don't seem like you're in a picnic either" she placed her hand on your shoulder reassuringly and looked down, excusing herself as she needed to attend the other guests.

You didn't like to be read like that, yes, you missed Pedro, in many ways you were still broken hearted at everything that went on, it's very hard to just let go of a person you were so invested in for years. It leaves an empty spot in your chest, even when you get over whatever happened, your mind always comes back to a bunch of might-have-beens. And though you and Pedro hadn't been away for that long, that's exactly how it felt. You walked out the kitchen and realized you were getting anxious to see him. He was there, it was a stated fact. It wasn't like when you went to the gym and very often looked over your shoulders, in hopes he wouldn't show up at the same time you kind of hoped he would show up. Internally battling with the relief of not running into him and also the disappointment of not seeing him. Once again, you had to remind yourself to act rationally, you didn't want to be shaken to the core when you saw him, and you definitely wouldn't make a scene at a princess' party.

When you reached the living room, he was the first one you spotted and for a few seconds he was the only thing you could see. There he was, Pedro, your dulce Pedrito like you used to call him and make a soft reddish color spread through his cheeks. He looked the same as always, the same as always made your heart race and you hated that. Your heart beat faster, your palms suddenly got a little sweaty and you were sure you'd stutter if someone asked you any question. You cursed yourself under your breath, months of self care and you still acted like a high school girl around him. The sadness Kate had seen your ass, you mentally rolled your eyes as you saw how he was still the life of the party, how he laughed and made everybody laugh. He wasn't sad, and why should he? Maybe you did hurt him in your argument, in fact you did hurt him as he left with tears in his eyes, but he probably got over you, he had done it so many times before, times where you still were friends and you loved and cared for him, so now what was stopping him from just forgetting about you?

Pedro finally eyed you, he knew you were coming and he tried his best to look good for you, he had a nice outfit on, his hair was messy like you always said you loved and God, he felt like time had stopped when he saw you walk into the living room. Hermosa, princesa, linda, mariposa, all of that crossed his mind once he saw you. He hadn't seen you in what it felt like forever, and now you were there, standing a few feet away from him. His desire was to rush to you, ignoring everyone else there, and wrapping his arms around your waist. If he could, he would let out all those Spanish words you loved roll out of his tongue before he could touch your skin and make you his. He chuckled to himself just to picture what you would say if you knew his heart raced when he saw you, how he wanted to take you into his arms like you had dreamed about it for so long. Life sometimes is truly a joke.

He didn't understand how you managed to become more beautiful since the last time you saw each other but you did it, and he couldn't take his eyes off you. He had no idea if you'd even want to talk to him, give him some of your time, but he was going to try.

Before you could greet everyone who was sitting closer than him, Flora and her big brother came running to you. If someone thought Flora was sweet, they hadn't met her brother yet. Wyatt was a five year old who seemed to be obsessed with you. Out of all his mommy's friends you were definitely his favorite. He was sweet to you like he was with no one else, and the fact he still had some trouble pronouncing his 'R' made him even cuter to you.

He immediately jumped onto your lap, snuggling you as tight as he could, he was overly excited at the sweets he'd eaten and the fact some people who brought his little sister presents also brought him presents!

Pedro's heart dropped to his stomach the moment he saw you surrounded by Flora and Wyatt. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to watch that, but he couldn't look away either. It all brought him back to the dreams he constantly had about you, the dreams where he always got to a happy, crowded home, where you were his and only his, in all the ways you dreamed of for long and now he longed for it as well and you two had built a beautiful family. He was always happy in these dreams, only to feel empty when he woke up.

One of the things he always loved about you and that one he made pretty clear throughout your entire friendship, was how good with kids you were. Of course Pedro had earned the cool uncle status, but he just admired how natural you were, how kids simply wanted you to be around them and how happy you got with that. It quickly drove him back to the night of your argument, and how you threw it on his face he was nearly 50 without a family. Yes, he knew you were right, but it still hurt him anyway. When he was younger, he wasn't sure if he was going for the traditional stuff but he assumed good old marriage and kids would happen to him, after all it happened to everyone. But as the years went by, he just focused on his career and he was pretty happy that way, apart from all the loneliness he felt, loneliness that was soothed by your company during the day and some other female company at night, sometimes even more than one at the same time. Until those stupid dreams began, every single night he would have a family with you and love every single part of it just to be taken back to reality where he was alone and all he got was his career.

"Did you really think I'd forget about you?" You whispered to Wyatt as you very discreetly handed him a small basket with his favorite chocolate. You didn't have enough for all the kids, so you hoped he wouldn't make a big fuss about it, but the moment he squealed in happiness and hugged you, you felt so lucky to be there. You quickly helped him open his present and watched as he ate one piece after the other. Kate would probably kill you the next day, but you didn't care at all, seeing his true happiness.

"Pedwo, come play please!!" He asked the man, waving his hand at him and inviting him to the empty seat next to you. You saw when he smiled at Wyatt and moved closer to you. His cologne was intoxicating and for a moment all you wanted to do was to rest your head on his shoulder and have his arm around your body.

"These are my favorite too, you gotta share" he frowned playfully at Wyatt and looked at you

"Hey Y/N" he said shyly and looked down clearing his throat before looking into her eyes again "you look very beautiful, muy hermosa como siempre" he said and saw the familiar blush spreading through your cheeks adding a cute look to your face. You still reacted the same, maybe you were still his muñequita?

"Hi Pedro" you said softly and smiled politely at him.

"Come on Pedwo do the voice!!! Do it again, fow Y/N to see!!" Wyatt begged excitedly and pointed at his brand new Grogu doll. Once again you felt the urge to roll your eyes mentally, of course that was Pedro's doing and it was so predictable. Cute, but predictable. The little boy however, was mesmerized as once more Pedro sat up and made his Mandalorian voice. You didn't know exactly how it was different from his regular voice, but it was and you couldn't explain. He said whatever Wyatt liked to hear and gently tapped the doll's head, making Grogu cooed and blink his eyes, lifting his little arm gently which caused Wyatt to squeal in happiness again.

You both felt pretty good at that, no matter what happened between you two, you were really good at handling kids together and your chest ached to wonder if the same would apply if you ever had children together.

•••

After singing Happy Birthday and serving the cake, Rob, Kate's husband, asked his kids to go to the backyard. Pedro grinned at the interaction and placed his plate down, taking your hand in his and pulling you "come on Y/N, you'll want to see this" he said happily and you had no other reaction than follow him. The kids were so excited when their daddy asked them to close their little eyes. They peeked all the time, not being able to hold back how eager they wanted to see the surprise. Pedro looked at you and smiled sweetly "I don't mean to brag, but it was my idea, so you're not the only one who is great with kids, you know" he winked at her.

You swallowed and looked down at your hands, fingers entwined and how softly Pedro caressed your hand with his thumb. You immediately let go of his hand and blushed, which wasn't unnoticed by him, who sighed and stared into your eyes "I know you're still hurt about everything that went on and we need to talk, I owe you an apology for what happened and-"

Pedro was cut off by the kids' screams of happiness and pure excitement when their daddy revealed their mysterious present: a bunny. A real life bunny, you stared into Pedro eyes and chuckled "that was your idea, right?" You asked and couldn't help but smile a little "I bet Kate is thrilled" you both burst out laughing and for a moment everything was alright between the two of you again.

He only laughed softly but gently took your hand in his once more, walking towards some trees, away from the fuss the kids were making and once you were both hidden enough from anyone else who might bother you, he finally gathered the courage to speak.

"I screw everything up with you, Y/N. I know I did, in fact I knew it from the moment it happened but I was too proud and stubborn to admit it" he sighed "and then it all got worse and worse until that horrible episode at your place. I deeply regret everything that went on" Pedro looked down, and then back at you again, being puzzled by how indecipherable your expression was. You watched him apologize without really apologizing, you just hated how he asked for your forgiveness without acknowledging anything at all.

"The reason why I didn't want to talk to you anymore was because I'm tired of being your doormat, Pedro. You know how much I love you" you bit your lips "how much I loved you" you corrected yourself and continued "but you only took advantage of it, and you know it. You know how many times you've hurt me, how many times you flirted with me, you kissed me almost on the lips, you sweet talked to me, the times you had your hands on my body not in an erotic way but definitely more intimate than a friend should ever do, you know how confused it left me, and you kept doing it"

Pedro knew it was all true, but he had decided to ask for your forgiveness and to be honest, he looked around embarrassed and nodded

"I-I know that, Y/N. I know I was a real shitty friend, always teasing you, playing with your feelings… I am really ashamed of it and if I could turn back in time, I'd never act that way. I had only one glimpse of what you must've felt all this time… when I saw you with that guy from the gym and it felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces"

You had to admit you were not expecting that, at first you thought it would be just some more of his usual bullshit, but it seemed Pedro really meant what he was telling you.

"And I know the last straw was that night at the gala. It should've been about us, after all, you were my plus one because I wanted to have you there, and I loved every minute we spent together, you looked gorgeous, muy hermosa mi cariño, but then I was just terrible to you. I don't know why I left with that woman, I mean, I don't know why I just gave in to that impulse and I know I tried brushing off as if you were exaggerating but these past months I was finally able to be true to myself and admit you were right. I was a dick, I not only humiliated you and broke your heart but also put you at risk by letting you go home on your way"

His voice had a sad tone and he didn't look away for a split second, showing he meant all that.

You began tearing up, as those were the words you waited months to hear. You wanted him to apologize, to admit what he'd done and now it had finally happened, you couldn't help but feel sad as it came too late.

"Pedro, I-"

"Please, Y/N, let me finish" he asked and took another breath "that day at your house was completely unacceptable, I know it, and we both hurt each other, I snapped because I saw you with another man and told you to leave me alone, and I didn't understand why I had such a childish and reckless attitude, until I realized I didn't know how to act on my feelings for you, which takes me to the very painful words you told me, which unfortunately, were also true. I left that night hating myself, I didn't know what to do or what to say, so I looked for help, I went back to therapy and I was able to see all the things I was doing wrong"

You saw when he took a step closer and you could smell his cologne, you had no idea what he was going to do, but your heart pounded into your chest as his big hands cupped your cheeks so gently, stroking them and staring into your eyes "and after all that self-analysis I came to the conclusion that I love you" he bit his lips and a light blush spread through your cheeks "I mean, I already did, as a friend, even if I was a dick, I truly loved and cared about you, but it changed, Y/N, it got more intense, you're the only thing that crosses my mind the whole day, the only one I want and crave, all I can think of is your body against mine, your beautiful voice singing while you make breakfast, the way you light up a room when you step inside, how the kids love you because they see how incredible you are" Pedro took another deep breath "I'm in love with you, Y/N" he finally admitted out loud and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He leaned in and touched your lips with his very softly at first, ghosting over them, appreciating how perfect they felt against each other. One of his hands went for your waist, wrapping his arm around it and gripping your body in a desperate need. He was so close you could feel his strong chest against your soft breasts, so pressed up against his body it was really hard to remind yourself that wasn't right. The moment you felt the man deepening the kiss, you couldn't hold back a soft moan. You decided to enjoy that moment, something you'd craved for so long, it almost felt like your heart was bursting out of your chest. Your hands gripped his hair, pulling it softly as you kissed him back as eager as he kissed you. You felt like you could be trapped in that moment forever with him, it felt right, even if it was wrong.

When Pedro broke the kiss looking for some air, you still gave him a last peck on the lips, gently stroking his cheek and taking a step back.

"Wow" you whispered and smiled shyly "I've dreamed about that moment for so long. God knows how much I daydreamed that one day this exact scene would happen, now it did, it feels unreal" you looked at him and took his hand, gently squeezing it "and that's why it breaks my heart to see it happened too late. I'm sorry Pedro, but we can't do this. I'm really sorry that I don't believe you, I don't think you love me, I think you love the fact I was in love with you and that stroke your ego like nothing else, I was young, devoted, I would do anything for you and would take anything you had to offer, but we can't do this anymore. I can't do this to myself, I love myself more than I love you now, and I won't let anyone get in the way of that, not even you" she said and let go of his hand "I'll always love you and cherish you Pedro, but it's time to say goodbye"

_____

A/N: any feedbacks, let me know! Also, you guys have just met Wyatt! He is pretty much my OC and for the years I wrote for/roleplayed Victor Creed/Liev Schreiber he was always my character's son, and I developed an emotional connection with him even if he is not real, so I thought to myself, why not show the world what a ray of sunshine my fictional son is, right?

And yes, the bunny thing I got from Narcos because I thought Pablo Escobar had no right to be that cute while gifting his daughter a bunny, the way she got happy when he gave her su conejito just made me go all aww 🥰

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal headcanons #pedro pascal headcanon #male actors #hot actors #betrayed #betrayed series

[lenixsocial]

Watcher (and why nothing matters anymore):

So, in case you've been locked away under a proverbial bridge for a few days, Internet personalities Steven Lim, Ryan Bergara, and Shane Madej (known as Watcher) have elected to begin their own streaming service and ditch YouTube.

On the surface, that mightn't even seem like news at all.

After all, this sort of thing seems to happen all the time: The Try Guys left Buzzfeed to create their own company, Rhett and Link took the dive and diversified into paywalled entertainment a few years back with Mythical Society. Both of which however still rely on YouTube itself to generate views on the main channels, which funnel viewers into a FOMO type situation where "you can't miss" a special airing on the app (Mythical Society) or Patreon (Try Guys).

Watcher, in its infinite wisdom (stupidity, carelessness, unparalleled greed - take your pick) has decided that YouTube is pointless, and has moved ALL their content behind a paywall, claiming that the service was amping up to provide "TV quality programming", leaving only old content and the first episodes of the new shows up on their YouTube page as a subtle tease as to what you could get for $6/month.

It's now quite apparent from reading the comments section of their (now infamous) YouTube video, their official subreddit, and the tag on X that the fans were...not thrilled. The fingers began to be pointed within minutes. Name calling soon after. Then this blossomed into dissertations on why this was a horrible idea.

Then we found out that there was no app. Just a website. So you're paying for website access. Not a full blown streaming service to rival Netflix. Oh, and they don't even have their own servers, the videos are hosted by Vimeo. The deeper the comments section dug, the nastier the attacks got. Steven soon became the whipping boy. His past, his interviews, scanned and mercurially dug up for juicy tidbits (although all anyone gleaned from these was he's rich, was born rich, drives a Tesla in LA, likes fancy food, and has friends whom he values who are racist and possibly sexist and will not sever ties with them).

Then came the cries of incongruity. Shane Madej repeatedly said to "Eat the Rich", and here he was schilling for a platform that cost $6 a month. The cries began to pirate all of the new Watcher content because maybe he was under duress and was secretly telling them to do so. Fact is, I don't know if he was or what, but I'm certain he's under contract and wants his job.

Then came the videos from other internet users analyzing the video, and comparing this to the Try Guys situation with Ned a few months back. Both are disasters, each in unique ways with different players, and such like but here's the vast difference: none of this will even matter in a month.

Let me explain: We are in the total free fall stage of Watcher's Internet Streamer Service. What they do in the next 24-48 hours is crucial. If they revert back to their YouTube channel and apologize, they'll be fine. People will probably poke fun at them, but they'll be forgiven, eventually. But if they don't and they keep on, ignoring the fans, dousing the haters, and make it a month, I doubt we will see any resistance outside of a terse article or two.

Why? The collective memory span in this day and age is extremely short, many have likely already made judgment in their head and have passed said judgment. Therefore, they'll avoid the channel, and the streamer and will be blissfully unaware of any changes. Those who have joined up and paid will remain members, and those who have elected to remain subscribed will likely remain so and will watch the free content until they can afford the $6/month.

The thing is like it or hate it, if they decide to do nothing and ignore the public at large, they most likely will be fine. Maybe they will not have the hugest subscriber base, but people will forget about this. Something else major that is more salacious will spring up in the months ahead. Will there be lingering anger? Sure, but like I said before, these people have already passed judgment so they're already gone.

In an era of "nothing fucking matters" when your choices are sometimes entirely out of your direct control and are (at best) two sides of the same coin, it should be of absolutely no surprise to anyone that there is a fairly good possibility even after all that has transpired that nothing bad will happen. Lest we forget that old adage: "there is no such thing as bad PR".

Personally, I feel $6 is a tad much for a non-app based web streamer with little to no content. It was disingenuous to announce its launch internationally where even more people can't afford it, and some can't even view it. Steven wasn't upfront with who was in charge and now it really does seem like he's using the subscriptions to fund his international gallivanting. It's clear nobody wanted TV-show quality Ghost Files to take place in another country, nor did they want an old show revived with votes when you pay the first month's dues. They say it's a case of Watcher "not reading the room".

#watcher #watcherfiasco #opinion

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: By chance(short 1)

In which Jungkook gets to know his soulmate and can't help but fall deeper and deeper in love.

Tags/Warnings: Soulmate AU, Idol!Jungkook, slight angst, major fluff, no one asked but I still deliver, Jungkook having impure thoughts oops

Length: short/mid

Belongs to: By Chance

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"Did you order this much?" He laughs to himself as he brings in all the takeout boxes. You jump up to help, nodding eagerly, your phone now discarded on his couch. You've visited him after he'd asked if you wanted to spend some time with him- get to know him, seeing as you're soulmates.

"I haven't eaten all day - and honestly, I paid for it, so who cares! Those cinnamon bites will still taste good tomorrow morning for breakfast. And before you ask, I do plan on taking this stuff home with me if we don't finish it." You shrug, bringing the other boxes Jungkook couldn't hold into the living room.

"How much do I owe you?" He asks, already taking his phone out, and you just lick your finger after having opened some boxes to look what's what, shaking your head.

"Your honest opinion on the chicken, really. I've never ordered those, but they do look very hot right now, not gonna lie." You say, sitting down before stretching your legs. Your shorts reveal a tattoo on your leg that seems to travel high up- he's spotted a glimpse of something up to your rib when your stretched earlier, rising fabric of your shirt having also revealed a sparkling butterfly hanging from a silver piercing decorating your belly button. It makes him wonder how much more you hide away from his eyes, what might be there to discover for him.

You seem to be such a free spirit- an uncaged bird, open, colorful, exciting. You're infectious too, your bubbly nature easily making him feel all happy and relaxed. And he swears that's not just his soulmate bond speaking. He truly believes he would've at least developed a crush on you no matter the circumstances, really. You're cute, a little wild, testing him as if to see if he's able to tame you. You're exactly his type, not just physically.

Your beauty is simply a bonus- a pretty soul safely tucked into an equally pretty body.

"I love them, even if they're a little greasy. I've got a horrible love for fried foods." He laughs, sitting down to eat across from you.

"Would've never guessed." You smile. "Not to insult you, really. But I always thought every Idol, you know, is obsessed with dieting and staying away from anything that could have more calories than a carrot." You say, before holding a hand towards your mouth, eyes wide. "Oh my God, that sounded so rude, fuck!" You shake your head. "Now I cursed, I'm sorry, fuck- I mean not fuck, shit- I mean-" you whine to yourself putting your face in your hands while Jungkook laughs across from you.

"You're fine, really, it's okay." He reassures. "I'm not that sensitive, and honestly, a lot of idols do be like that." He shrugs.

"Maybe? I mean, I probably shouldn't even bring that topic up. I don't wanna be nosy." You say quietly, stealing a piece of chicken from him before you freeze in your motions. "Oh God I should've asked- why am I like this?!" You scold yourself, and he smiles brightly towards you.

"You're cute, nothing wrong with it." He flirts.

You look at him a little playfully suspicious before you continue eating. "If you're aiming at getting into my pants, I might have to disappoint you, mister." You say, and his eyes widen while he stops chewing for a second. "In front of you sits a very awkward virgin that's not even sure if she even likes sex, or kissing, or anything of that nature really. I'm just putting it out there, lay my cards on the table, I guess." You shrug before taking a sip of your soda.

"May I ask why?" He wonders respectfully, wiping his fingers on a napkin close by. "I'll respect your decision, obviously. I'm just curious, I guess." He clarifies, and you shrug.

"You've got every right to be." You nod, licking your lips. "I guess every guy has always been so.. pushy with it to the point where I didn't want to do it simply just to spite them." You explain, not looking at him. "Wanted to see how they'd react if I said that I didn't want to. You know, neither kiss nor have sex. Like a test, to see if they're any good." You tell him, and he nods.

"And none ever passed the test?" He asks, making you shrug as you look at him now.

"I mean, there's one who's on a pretty good road of maybe being the first to do just that." You say, and he smiles charmingly, fingers playing with his lip ring for a second before he turns serious again.

"All jokes aside, I really am okay with that." He says. "I didn't invite you here to fuck you, nor do I ever plan on doing that. Putting up a facade to tangle you into something, I mean. I'd fuck you if you'd want me to, just to be clear here." He tells you, reaching over to steal a few sips of your drink.

"Well, you stole an indirect kiss now, so that gonna be some points added to your fuckboy-ness." You say, crossing your arms- unaware probably that he now gets a very attractive sight of your cleavage now.

"We can easily make it a direct one too, if you want." He flirts again, and you stay quiet for a second, almost making him apologize- until you actually speak again, softly.

"I mean, I wouldn't mind.." you mumble.

"You don't have to push yourself." He tells you calmly. "I'm sorry if it felt like I was trying to convince you. I'm only joking around."

"No-" you start, looking everywhere but him. "-I, don't know, I actually do wanna try it with you. See if I like it." You say. "But, you know, only if you're up for it too."

"I'd be dumb to say no to kissing a pretty girl like you." He shrugs with a boyish smile before he gets up from the floor and squats down in front of you, his hands on your knees as you're still sitting on his couch. He chuckles at your shyness a bit before he slowly leans upwards, making sure to check until the very last second for any signs of you becoming uncomfortable. But that moment never comes, and when his lips make contact with yours for a short peck, your hands find his to hold onto, making him smile into the kiss before he parts from you. "Good? You're free to say if it wasn't, I'm really cool with that." He says, and you nod.

"Never really knew what to expect from a kiss, really." You shrug. "But it's nice. I liked it." You nod.

"Wait that was your first kiss?!" He now asks, and you nod.

"Wasn't that obvious? I thought I made it obvious." You laugh, and he laughs as well.

"I mean, I understood the virgin part, but I thought, you know, a pretty girl like you would've at least been kissed before." He says, and you playfully hit his chest, making him fall dramatically on his butt.

"Oh come on now prince charming, go eat your greasy chicken." You tease, making him grin.

Yeah- he really believes he's gonna fall for you. Maybe he already has.

Either way- he doesn't mind one bit.

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#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader

[ghostxrose]

Nicotine | Aizawa Shota x Reader

Summary ~ When you started dating Shota, you knew what you were signing up for. What you didn’t expect to happen was for everything between you both to come crumbling down, leaving you pinned beneath the rubble and Shota not even realizing it.

Tags/Warnings ~ Minors DNI, NSFW content, Inspired by Nicotine by Panic at the Disco, hurt no comfort, angst, failed relationship, past relationship neglect, cursing, break up, sad ending, use of Y/N

Note ~ Hey Lovelies, I wrote this one night when I was craving some angst, lol. I did include some of the lyrics from Nicotine, sorry if it's cringe. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy the read? It is very angst forward so.. I don't know.. trigger warning..? Love and appreciate you, Lovelies! <3

You had shown up to his apartment not long after he called..

Again.

As soon as you were through the door, the two of you had dove right into sloppily making out and pawing off each other’s clothing..

Again.

You two had taken your heaving chests, kiss bitten lips, panted moans, and lust heated bodies straight to his bedroom without having a proper conversation beforehand..

Again!

You let out a loud moan, your orgasm taking over your mind, as Shota gives one last thrust and groans into your mouth in one last open-mouthed sloppy kiss as he cums. He stays on top of you for a moment, lazily making out with you, before he slowly pulls out and flops onto his back next to you.

As you both lay there panting and coming down from your highs you close your eyes. Shota slowly gets up, tying off the condom and heading to the bathroom to throw it away and clean himself up.

The post-orgasm clarity hits you and the feeling of disappointment fills you as you sit up. You let out a heavy sigh as you rub your hands over your still flushed face and swing your legs over the side of the bed. Your eyes scan the floor for your clothes, more negative and heavy emotions stacking themselves on top of the disappointment. Collecting your clothes from off of the floor, you start to get dressed.

“What are you doing?” Shota asks from the doorway of the bathroom, startling you a bit.

You don’t turn around to face him because you know that his face is either it’s usual tired disinterest or it’s occasional tired confusion.

“I’m getting dressed.” You state, attempting to make your tone blank and void of emotion.

“That much was obvious, (Y/N). Why are you getting dressed?” He says, his tone slightly more irritated than normal.

“This was a mistake, Shota.” You bite out, already feeling the sting of tears in your eyes.

You feel the bed dip behind you and hear Shota let out an exasperated breath as he sits down heavily.

“You said that the last three times we.. did this. I don’t understand what the problem i-”

“The problem is that we are stuck in this horrible on and off situation, Shota. I.. I can’t do it anymore..” You say, cutting him off and trying so desperately to keep your tone controlled and even.

“The only reason we’re ‘on and off’ is because you thought that being with a Pro Hero who also teaches full-time would be a walk in the fucking park, (Y/N).” Shota angrily spits, both of you still sitting with your backs facing each other.

A bitter rage floods your body and you lose the will to hold back any longer, “I never thought that, Shota! I knew it would be difficult but I was ready to put in the effort required to make it fucking work! I poured so much effort int-”

“I did, t-” Shota’s raised voice cut you off but you only let him get those couple of words out before doing the same.

“In the beginning you did, yes! But where did it go, Shota?!” You yell, turning around to face him.

“(Y/N)..” He growls out but you don’t let him get any further, once again, as everything that you’ve been trying to bury bubbles out of you.

“It’s been a year since our last date! A fucking year! All we do anymore is sleep, fuck, and go to work! I can barely remember the last meal we shared together! I fucking understood what it was that I had signed up for but it got to a point where I didn’t even feel like we were in a relationship anymore!” You continue yelling, your whole body heated from anger and tears streaming down your face.

“Y- you’re.. You’re worse than nicotine, Shota! I keep telling myself ‘one more hit and then we’re through’ but I can’t fucking stay away from you! It’s like I can constantly taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you! Every single day, whether I’m with or without you, fucking hurts!” Your yells crumble into choked sobs and you bury your face into your hands.

Shota is standing across from you, the bed between you both, just staring at you in silence. His eyes are the slightest bit shiny, his face is scrunched up as if he is in pain, and it’s the most emotion that you’ve seen on his face in a year. His mouth opens and closes a few times but no words come out. You compose yourself enough to look up at him with a heated glare.

“Did you even love me back the same way I loved you, Shota?” You ask bitterly. You’re met with more silence and nod your head with a dry, humorless chuckle.

“We’re done for real this time, Aizawa. Don’t fucking call me again.” You spit out as you gather the rest of your stuff and make your way out of his apartment.

You sit in your car for a few minutes screaming and choking on hard sobs over the pain of your heart shattering. “This was the last fucking time!! I fucking swear it!!”  You scream at your steering wheel, praying to any and every higher power that may be out there to give you the strength to resist getting one more fucking hit.

Note ~ Someone please tell me that I am not the only one who will actively seek out angst, sometimes.. Is it healthy? Probably not. Will I continue to look for or write angst? Yes. Anyways, thank you all so much for the love! My amazing Lovelies, I love and appreciate all of you! <3

#aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #mha aizawa #bnha aizawa #aizawa x y/n #angst #aizawa smut #eraserhead #eraserhead x reader #eraserhead smut #hurt/angst #no comfort #breakup #failed relationship #bnha #mha #shouta aizawa x reader #bnha shouta aizawa #shouta aizawa x you

[fangirltothefullest]

hey! i’ve seen you reblog a few posts from proshippers/posts tagged as proship and i just wanted to let you know in case its not on purpose!

I need some of you youngsters to please listen carefully to what I'm about to say because it might open your eyes to a very important concept- when I say ship and let ship I mean I don't give two fucks about what people read in fanfiction because it's all fake. Made up characters in a made up scenario with made up things happening.

Your christian-based concept that thought is equal to action isn't true. You can THINK whatever the hell you want do long as your actions don't cause a problem. A creepy old man can look at a young lady and THINK all the nasty things he wants. So long as he does not take those thoughts and turn them to actions, he's fine. He might want to go see a therapist but at the end of the day thoughts are just thoughts. Standing on the edge of a cliff and thinking "wow if someone pushed someone off this they'd die" doesn't mean you want to push someone off a cliff.

PLEASE separate the concept that thought and action are the same thing.

Even if the topic is a taboo topic, even if it's something you would never in a million years agree with, it's still fake at the end of the day.

I don't personally want to read about canibalism, but its not my job or my right to force other people to never write about that stuff. Policing other people's writing and policing the "goodness" or "badness" of the content they write is not my job and it's not anyone else's. Your morality is yours and yours alone. What you find taboo and never want to think about might just be a weird enjoyable read to someone else. Just like kinks or even random topics, you cannot cater to everyone and trying to force a moral purity in written fiction is just ailly. They're made up. No matter how much you want Azirphale and Crowly to be real no matter how much you are desperate for Percy Jackson to have real feelings, they aren't and he can't. They're not real and they never will be so nothing that happens to them, no matter how fucked up, really matters.

And that's all it is and all they will ever be. A bunch of taboo topics and events done to made up people.

I don't want to read about incest but I'm not going to stop people from writing fanfics about the supernatural brothers doing the nasty. I'm also not going to go out of my way to look for it or tell people to stop because it's all fake. Its not supporting it. It's made up pretend space.

I sit here throwing made up characters into Bad Situations that would be horrible if they were real people. But they're not. They're fake people with fake things happening to them and it's fun to write and fun to read. I torment my characters all the time. I made Virgil go through so much emotional trauma in APP and no one bats an eye because it's fake. Please apply the same critical thinking to the rest of written everything.

Proshipper literally means that a person should have the freedom to write what they want and read what they want because morality has nothing to do with fiction. It does not make you morally a bad person to enjoy a taboo subject in written form. This goes for ALL taboo subjects. People reading greusome murder mysteries don't go out and murder people. The same thing applies to the other taboo subjects. People writing about weird incest ships aren't going to go out and do the incest thing.

If they are it has nothing to do with the fiction and everything to do with that specific person.

Thought and action are not the same thing.

Allowing everyone to write what they want without gatekeeping based on morality is a good thing. We would not have lgbtqia+ stories if the morality policing of Christian values dictated what we are allowed and not allowed to write.

Please understand that I saying all this as a teaching tool. You might be super icked out by certain topics and that's natural and normal and ok. I am too! Everyone is! But what we have to do is be tolerant of the ideas that writing taboo subjects and being a proshipper isnt a bad thing. Also enjoying taboo subjects in written form doesn't make you somehow evil, ok?

[airyravenmaid]

As someone who's been secretly teetering around the SAGAU (that's "Self-Aware Genshin AU" for those who aren't aware 🥁) tag and works while thoroughly enjoying a lot of them, I think today's finally the day I put my own two cents in on it. Particularly, my two cents about how a certain redheaded owl stud would act in that verse. By all means, no hate to anybody who's written him any differently in their SAGAU stuff-- we're all here to have fun and junk; this is just how I personally think he'd be. You are free to disagree with any and everything I have to say under the cut, but I will have no badmouthing or the like.

Being perfectly honest, I haven't really seen much of Diluc in a ton of SAGAU works outside of him either being part of the "get the 'Imposter'" mob or individually attacking us if he comes across us solo and isn't in the know that we the reader are the real deal. Basically, he's more or less just kinda lumped in with the other highly devoted followers of the Creator without really standing out much in the plot. And, nothing particularly wrong with that, no, no, no, but here's where my hee-ho funny hot take comes in:

I don't actually think Diluc would really worship the Creator. In fact, I don't think he'd even like us at first. *Sojiro voice* Let me explain!

Diluc Ragnvindr is, in every sense of the word, a disenchanted young man. Now, we know he wasn't born as such, but we have the Knights of Favonius disgracing Crepus' death while the wound was still fresh and the falling out between Diluc and Kaeya upon the latter's revelation as a Khaenri'ahn spy to blame for that. Blah, blah, blah, that's right, we heard the story, over and over again, so, where does this tie into my personal interpretation of his thoughts on the Creator, you may ask? Well!

In the happier, more idealistic years before all hell broke loose on his 18th birthday, Diluc most likely did worship and revere the Creator per his upbringing since I think Crepus also worshipped them like a good chunk of Mondstadt does. No problems there. But, where was the "all-powerful, ever-benevolent" God of Teyvat when he'd lost his father and brother on that same, horrible night in different ways? What did they do when the Knights of Favonius openly spat on his father's name just to save their undeserved reputation? What did they give him during that four-year suicide mission he spent indiscriminately hunting Fatui agents before promptly getting the ban of a lifetime from the entire Nation of Cryo?

Nowhere, nothing, and radio silence.

Just another unreliable let-down added to the list, and another knife to his back.

(Imposter AU-wise) So, come present day, when the Great Big Phony™ drops and takes a throne that very much does not belong to them, everybody's over the moon and pulling out all the stops for their beloved God... except Diluc. Now, he's not so stupid that he openly badmouths the apparent Creator since that would get him some pretty unpleasant looks and land him in rather hot water, so instead, he shows no open reaction while rolling his eyes and scoffing at them wherever people can't see or hear. And, if we're going with the traditional portrayal of the Imposter being an uncaring tyrant, his already diminished opinion of the Creator's image is only further soured. He does nothing to damper or criticize anybody's faith since it's far from his place to, but they certainly won't see him joining in any day of the week, either.

And then comes the "Imposter", who's actually the true Creator that's been jiffy-popped into Genshin's world from the real one. Now, while he thinks it's beyond ridiculous that the people of Mondstadt and the Knights of Favonius (though, not as much surprise for the latter-- always so inefficient...) find it just to hunt down and torture somebody solely for looking like the Creator especially since nobody in town gives a shit that Venti and Barbatos look disturbingly alike for reasons only he (plus Jean and maybe Kaeya, if his Hangout implies anything) knows without actually presenting themselves as an active threat to humanity like, say, the Abyss Order or the Fatui, Diluc still can't help but secretly hand it to the alleged Imposter for being the first to have the guts to knock that "divine do-nothing" down a peg in some way, even if it is considered quite the risky move.

Should he encounter us while we're running for our lives worse for the wear for the above reason (and truly confirming that we mean no real harm and are just a victim of very unfortunate circumstance), Diluc is open to helping us get away safely under the radar and giving false info to the KoF like he did in his Story Quest since getting caught helping Teyvat's most wanted by the mob would not end well for him, either. And, he's pretty amicable when patching us up... but then he sees the dried gold blood and scars all over our body and realizes exactly who we really are. No, he doesn't do a full 180 and start blastin', but Diluc sure is now a lot colder towards us than he already is in general. Still helps us out, but we can taste the sudden mood drop. At some point, we discover his resent towards us for (from his perspective; can't exactly explain that we didn't actually make any of the characters' backstories since we're not HoYoverse and whatnot bc that wouldn't make sense to anyone in Genshin within the confines of the Creator!Reader AU without us sounding completely crazy) being seemingly nowhere to be seen around his and others' suffering despite being the God of All Gods capable of doing literally anything to help it, but simply choosing not to. Even if the Reader rightfully says they didn't do anything, Diluc's cold rebuttal is something along the lines of "No. You didn't.", and it's not the least bit reassuring.

If he were to stick around with us a bit longer during our escape from Mondstadt/whirlwind journey, then Diluc would come to understand that we really weren't as in control of everything bad happening to him or the world as he initially believed, especially if in his misguided blaming, it causes Reader to develop one HELL of a guilt complex feeling like they are responsible for fixing everything if it means putting an end to all the nonsense and abuse some of their once-beloved characters/acolytes are putting them through. Granted, the actual Imposter does have to be stopped and dethroned for all the shit they're pulling, but that's really all that falls on us as the unfortunate hero.

Other than that condition, though, we basically have someone that's thankfully not looking to hunt us down for absurd reasons and even helps us in our need, but at the same time curses us for letting him and many others down by not acting in some way when it mattered most.

#SAGAU #Genshin SAGAU #SAGAU Diluc #Imposter AU #SAGAU x Reader #(Had to rewrite this bc I accidentally deleted it; gdi) #idk if I should tag this as specific character x reader bc it's rly not #Just me brainstorming and junk for better wording #And again; merely my personal interpretation; it is not meant to discredit or diss any other ones

[erina-writes-headcanons]

Hi so i have receive your message that your ask box is open and i would like to ask if you can do a dating headcanon + a jealous headcanon for himuro and hanamiya please ? ^^

💔Himuro Tatsuya, Hanamiya Makoto, and Aomine Daiki Getting Jealous Headcannons💔

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Hello there Anon. I still remember if you were allowed to ask for Headcanons and once I open, I quickly told you that you can request me quickly before it gets full so yeah I hope you like the final result!

Gender: Neutral Warning: Creeps being creepy and OAmine being slightly violent

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Himuro Tatsuya - Yōsen High School

We can see from the Anime that Himuro can be pretty gentlemanly to women (But not really when it comes to Kagami. I don't really like how rude he is with Kagami but I do like when he tries to defend Alex from Haizaki.)

He might be all calm on the outside with a soft smile on his face and you thought he is okay when there was another guy/girl coming up to you with an intention to court you.

But let's check what is inside of his head and you will know that he is indeed furious when that person waltzes up to you and thinks they could court you or take your attention away.

The first time, he would smile and politely tell the person to leave you alone because you are his boyfriend/girlfriend/partner and that person should respect that.

If the person still does not budge and keeps trying to get close to you. That's when things can be scary. I believe he is not a violent person but he could be very cunning and manipulative.

He would also indirectly insult the person without sounding like he is insulting the person. (In fact, I do believe he can pull 'Dog Whistle Manipulation' which means a gaslighting abuse technique where an abuser can cause suffering to another without others being aware of what is occurring.)

You can just see the shame of that person without you realizing what just happens to that person as the person is walking with their tail between their legs.

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The sky gets darker as the snow starts to fall from the sky. The air is getting colder each minute as the temperature drops. When (Y/N) was young, the young feela used to love snow because the neighbourhood kids would play together with you, playing freeze tag or snowball wars and going home to drink hot chocolate on Christmas day.

However, you are not little anymore, and those loves of snow are replaced with despise. The older version of (Y/N) easily got sick and cold, and the next day you immediately got the flu from the horrible winter. This did not go unnoticed by your beloved boyfriend, who sometimes let you wear his scarves just so you would not be cold.

But today is different; the basketball training is getting really late, and you have to wait for your boyfriend, who is still training Basketball for the upcoming Winter Cup. You do hear the opponent in the winter cup will be even tougher, so it was understandable that your boyfriend was training hard.

As (Y/N) stood there, eyes fixed on the basketball court, (Y/N) couldn't help but be amazed by the sheer dedication and skill of Himuro Tatsuya. Every shot he took seemed like a work of art, a perfectly executed masterpiece. The way he controlled the ball, the precision with which he released it, and the accuracy with which it found its target were nothing short of mesmerizing.

Beads of sweat formed on (Y/N)'s forehead, and a faint flush crept across their/her/his cheeks, but (Y/N) paid no mind, entirely absorbed by the mastery of his shooting skills. The room's atmosphere seemed charged with energy, only when you finally tore your gaze away for a moment and you realize the warmth that had filled the space. It was getting very bothering

A friendly voice broke (Y/N)'s concentration. Turning to the source of the sound, (Y/N) was surprised to see one of Yosen's players. He was tall with unkempt brunette hair along with freckles adorned across the bridge of his nose. He's pretty cute in your opinion but you're dating Himuro Tatsuya. "Hey! Excuse me, pretty/handsome. It seems you're thirsty. Do you want some cold drink?" He had a welcoming smile and held out a cold refreshing drink.

(Y/N) was a little bit hesitant to accept the guy's drink. (Y/N) did not think anything bad about the guy since (Y/N) is aware that they are in the basketball gym and it feels rude to reject the guy's offer but they/she/he did not know who is this guy. Before you could take the bottle, you felt a sudden presence beside you.

It was Himuro Tatsuya, his usually warm smile taking on an oddly forced quality. It didn't take long for (Y/N) to sense a hint of jealousy beneath his polite exterior. He gently push (Y/N) behind him and stood in front of the guy. "Thank you for the kind gesture," he began, his voice steady, "but I believe you don't need to offer a drink to my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner," His words carried a gentle authority, making it clear that he appreciated the gesture but wanted to set a boundary.

The player couldn't help but sense the undercurrents of Himuro's subtle jealousy despite Himuro not being aggressive. is realization, combined with Himuro's polite yet firm words, left the Yosen player to respect his boundaries. "I am very sorry, Himuro-Senpai. I was just offering her/him/them a drink," with a nod and a slightly sheepish smile, the Yosen player decided to back away gracefully, allowing Himuro to be together with you.

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Hanamiya Makoto - Kirisaki Daichi High School

Good luck to whoever made Hanamiya Jealous when they keep trying to make themselves close to you. I'm not joking, he is much worse than Himuro.

Unlike Himuro, his patience is not as thick as his and he would use all kinds of tactics against those who made him jealous while still playing the 'Innocent' card.

Whereas your dumb brain is still not aware that he was actually harassing the other person with just simply his words, railing against the person that made him jealous with a smile.

Listen to me, he definitely trying to guilt trip whoever made him jealous by asking them "Do you really hate me that much that you don't let me spend my time with my S/O? That's really mean of you," with a fake sad face.

If that's not working? Prepare another card he is going to use for that person who made him jealous. He could play the victim card after he made an insult that attacks the person's insecurity.

I do think he still has his violent tendencies but he can clearly hide it well when there are many people watching. For example, he would step on the person's foot on purpose but when the person tattletale. He would just not admit it or he would just say he doesn't mean it

So don't even think trying to make him jealous or he is going to make everyone hates you or people giving you those dirty stare even though you didn't do anything particularly wrong.

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As (Y/N)'s sat in the classroom, (Y/N)'s focus was entirely on the teacher at the front of the room, eagerly explaining the Geometric which (Y/N) is already good with. (Y/N) would be scribbling notes furiously, trying to capture all of the important notes without missing important details and by doing this. It would make it much easier at the house to just read it and remember the given formulas.

The resounding chime of the school bell echoed through the hallways, signalling the long-awaited end of the day. Students quickly gathered their belongings, ready to leave the torturous day and go back to their beloved home sweet home, including the certain someone with (H/C) hair colour and (S/C) Skin colour.

Before I could leave the classroom, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw my teacher staring at me with hopeful eyes. "(L/N)-San, May I speak with you for a moment. I need your help," she spoke. "Of course, what is it. Sensei?" (Y/N) asks the old woman. "I would like you to help with your fellow student. Eikichi-san, he is struggling with Geometric and you are the only student who could help him. If you teach him, I would give you more scores," the old woman asks.

(Y/N) was a little bit hesitant as you turn around to see the student. The guy had partly dyed blonde hair and he has that vibe that writes 'trouble' all over him. Nevertheless, the teacher promised you a bonus point for your score. "I will try teaching him geometric for the upcoming test," You told the teacher. "Thank you so much, (Y/N). I knew I could count on you," she smiles.

‿︵‿︵＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／︵‿︵‿Timeskip

(Y/N) was sitting across from Eikichi who is staring at her/him/them. His eyes would be looking at you from your chest and your face. Despite (Y/N) writing the notes, (Y/N) could feel him staring like a creep it sent a shiver down her/his/their spine. His attempts at flirting were blatant, and it made the whole situation rather uncomfortable. While (Y/N) was there to genuinely assist and teach, he seemed more interested in making offhand comments about my appearance and attempting to turn the lesson into an awkward exchange. "So, are you free today, cutie? We can go home and ignore all of this and we would have so much fun," he winks.

As the inappropriate comments from the guy continued, (Y/N)'s patience wore thin. They/her/he was on the verge of delivering a piece of their mind and stopping the guy from being creepy until I feel a presence behind me. When I turned around, there was Makoto Hanamiya

Hanamiya, with his signature cocky grin, couldn't resist the opportunity to put the overly flirtatious and creepy student in his place. "Ah, trying to charm someone who is taken, are we? You've got a knack for numbers, I see. Shame you're just not adding up in the 'respect for personal space' department," His words carried a mix of sarcasm and a cold jab. Indirectly calling him an idiot.

The student's face turned a shade of embarrassment, and you couldn't help but hold your own laughter with Hanamiya's remarks who are calling the guy idiot and creepy indirectly. The creepy student's face flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and anger at Makoto's sharp remark.

In a feeble attempt to save face, he mustered a nervous chuckle before unleashing a mocking retort. "SHUT THE HELL UP EYEBROWS! YOU'LL REGRET THIS!" The guy stood from his chair as he keeps pointing his finger at Hanamiya. With a huff and a flustered glare, the student gathered his belongings and stormed off, muttering under his breath. It was clear that he couldn't handle the witty banter and had been outmatched by Hanamiya's sharp tongue "Thanks for shooing that guy away," You sigh in relief. "...Sure, whatever. You owe me some chocolate bars...and I want the dark one. Not the normal milk one," The Kirisaki Daichi captain sat next to (Y/N) before putting his arm around (Y/N(.

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Aomine Daiki - Touou High School

I'm not going to say sorry about what I am going to say but Aomine are much more obvious than them. He is also much more man-child than Himuro and Hanamiya.

Unlike Hanamiya and HImuro. Aomine is much more obvious when he is jealous when someone is taking his attention away but it depends on the person too.

Someone with pure intention that just wants to be your friend or cute animal? Aomine definitely gonna sulk and give you the silent treatment. If you ask him what makes him angry, he would say: "Why don't you go with that friends/pets of yours!" while pouting.

Someone with bad intentions or some kind of casanova wannabe that thinks they can get your attention? He's going to confront them by standing in front of them and giving them the scariest glare. "Leave my girlfriend/boyfriend you fucking creep!" Scaring them away.

If the person still does not leave you alone. He would not be afraid to use his hands to punch the daylight of the person just like what he did to Haizaki but worse

Once they left, he would just keep his hands on yours and not let anyone get close to you. If you ask about it, he would just gonna say: "I'm just protecting you from those assholes," he mutters.

Aomine is far away from the word subtle. He would make sure that everyone knows that you are his girlfriend/boyfriend by holding your hands the whole way when you two go home.

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It was in the afternoon as (Y/N) and Momoi sat on the bleachers, their eyes fixed on the intense basketball game unfolding before them. It was an exhilarating match, as Aomine and Kagami, two titans of the court, faced off in a display of skill and determination. Their movements were swift, dribbling the ball with finesse, leaping through the air to score impossible shots. The atmosphere was charged with excitement, and Momoi and I couldn't help but cheer for both of them, appreciating the incredible talent on display.

Momoi glanced at (Y/N), a playful smile on her face, and declared that she would go fetch some drinks from the vending machine. "(Y/N)-chan! Tell me everything that happens in the court. I will get us something to drink!" She takes a few cash from her purse before skipping away to get some refreshing drinks.

Nodding, (Y/N) watch her leave before she pays attention to Aomine and Kagami competing against each other. Those players seemed to be giving it their all, determined to outdo each other. You couldn't help but be in awe of the raw power and skill they possessed

As (Y/N) engrossed in her/his/their own world, there was an unmistakable feeling of someone's presence beside (Y/N). A subtle shift in the atmosphere, a hint of another person's energy, caught your attention. (Y/N) turned their/her/his head slightly, curious who might it be. A mysterious figure wearing a baseball cap. concealed his features. The brim cast a shadow over his face, making it nearly impossible to make out any details.

The guy in a baseball cap demeanour was unsettling. The guy leaned in a little too close, his words laced with a tone that sent chills through my veins. He began to flirt, but it wasn't the playful, charming kind of flirtation. It was invasive, predatory, making me feel trapped and vulnerable. "Hey there, cutiepie. Do you want to see seven foot long? I'm sure you have never seen it. Especially as someone as attractive as you," He licks his lips.

Out of nowhere, a basketball came hurtling through the air, narrowly missing the guy with the baseball cap and landing with a thud beside (Y/N) and the creepy guy. The guy with the baseball cap and I jolted with surprise, their attention instantly drawn to the ball lying there. As they turned in the direction the ball had come from, their locked eyes on Aomine, who stood a few feet away, his expression a mix of hatred and anger in his eyes.

Aomine's voice cut through the unease like a blade. His glare intensified, and his words were laced with a deadly seriousness that sent a shiver down the spine of the creepy guy. "If you ever lay a finger on my partner again, I won't hesitate to break your face. This court is meant for the game, not for your twisted games," Aomine's words not only send a shiver to the stranger but also to (Y/N) too.

The creepy guy visibly gulped, "I-I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean any harm," he mumbled, his eyes darting between Aomine's stern face and the basketball lying nearby. He quickly realized he had crossed the line. Without waiting for a response, the stranger hastily turned on his heels, not daring to look back, and fled from the court, disappearing into the distance.

Aomine's protective instinct kicked in as he walked over to (Y/N), his concern evident in his eyes. He gently pulled (Y/N) into a reassuring hug, his strong arms offering a sense of security. "Hey, are you alright?" he asked softly. Looking up at Aomine, (Y/N) shook their head, grateful he was there to stop the guy from getting further, "I'm okay, Aomine. He didn't touch me." "Good, "If he ever tries anything again, don't hesitate to let me know. I'll make sure he regrets it," he promises.

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#knb headcanons #knb imagines #knb scenarios #kuroko no basket #kuroko no basquet #kuroko's basketball #knb angst #knb fluff #himuro tatsuya #knb himuro #himuro x reader #himuro headcanons #hanamiya makoto #knb hanamiya #hanamiya x reader #hanamiya headcanons #aomine daiki #knb aomine #aomine x reader #aomine headcanons

[all-things-jily]

Ok but we get harassed for tagging ships that are in the post too just because there’s other ones mentioned

The fandom is supposed to be fun! You guys support harassment and bullying over fiction! The problem that needs addressing is the people who harass not the people who tag! There’s a way to get people not to tag btw it’s tell them nicely! Not act horribly! Jily fans been sending jegulus writers hate & writing “if you wrote jily maybe you’d get treated better” the problem lies with the way jily fans act & people will start biting back because people can only take so much.

OK so I was looking at this for some minutes, truly dumbfounded. Because it's like no matter what we say we're not being heard.

Rant below for those who want to avoid it lol

"You guys support harassment and bullying over fiction!"

I'm ?????? Where in the world have either of us who have spoken up done that? When have we ever said anything other than "tag your posts properly"? Don't these two sentences have completely different meaning? Who are these people that are harassing? Because harassment is never ok and we have not encouraged that. But if you think that simply telling a person who used incorrect tags to remove the extra ones is harassment, I'll have to tell you that no, it is not, it is a very normal thing to do actually.

Yesterday there were a few posts about asking people to tag properly and in response we got that "Jily fans are horrible and inhumane, they harass and bully, they're the worst people ever" and actually got harassed in response. Do you think there's anything normal and fitting in what happened and in that reaction?

"Jily fans been sending jegulus writers hate & writing “if you wrote jily maybe you’d get treated better” this is actually wild because NONE OF US in our community have done that or WANT that, we want to stay as far away from all of that as possible. If you have some anon trolls going around in the community, that has nothing to do with us, most of us are grown people who have been fans since books came out and ain't nobody got time for that, I'm sure most of us don't even know who your writers are or their accounts. In fact, you can tell just by wording of that message that it's clearly a troublemaking troll and not a serious fan, no normal human talks like that.

As for fandom being fun, YES, it's supposed to be fun! But this is where my words about it not being a group project come in, because what's fun for you is not fun for us! In fact, it's the opposite of fun, we dislike it immensely, it upsets us and puts us in a bad mood and it doesn't even belong in our tag. So why should we be upset every single day, going into our tag that's supposed to be a place of comfort and fun, seeing things that are not supposed to be there, when people can simply --- tag properly according to Tumblr guidelines? And this is not new, we've been put through this for years now, and we've been asking politely over and over and over and nobody is listening, and now that we've gotten louder - in our own tag - suddenly we're the bad guys and harassers. When should it be enough? So this part of the ask "people will start biting back because people can only take so much" was incredibly ironic, because we've been taking it for YEARS and now we aren't even biting back, we're simply asking to tag and posting silly memes in our own space but are still getting vilified.

I will also address the first point because I think it causes a lot of general confusion about tagging:

"tagging ships that are in the post too just because there’s other ones mentioned"

A ship tag is for posts that have positive mentions of that ship. If a post mentions multiple ships and is "X is great, Y is good, Jily is bad, I don't like it anymore" - this is not for Jily tag; If a post has "Jily were together for 2 minutes, broke up and then *insert 3 paragraphs gushing over another ship that were true loves*" - this is not for Jily tag; If a post has a poly ship that includes James and Lily - this is another ship, not Jily; If a post is a huge fanfic dedicated to another ship with James or Lily and then has the last sentence about Jily basically settling together - this is not for Jily tag, though I see how there could be arguments about it; There are many other instances too that I can't think of right away at this moment, but basically there's nuance here and just because Jily is brought up in a post doesn't make a post about Jily and the tag is for people who love the ship and want to celebrate their love, and the last thing they want to see there is completely unrelated posts with random Jily cameo in them that do not even portray them in a good way. This last topic is a bit of a complicated one with slippery edges, but I hope it was still comprehensible.

#imagine how tired we are

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 1: pre-gaming

webcomic day is a yearly celebration of the art form concocted by the screentones podcast team as a way for people to see how the sausage gets made. my webcomic "a ghost story" has been running for over 10 years, and yet i still don't think i can say i am good at making a webcomic. regardless, the comic is getting made because otherwise i become very, very sick in the head. today i would like to share with you the process of making a page of "A Ghost Story" from start to finish. either this demystifies the process or will make you think im so cool and strong for doing this 2x a week. instead of reblogging this one post until it gets very long, i will be posting individual updates that i will then compile and post on my personal website. block the tags now if you HATE comics and want them to EXPLODE.

if you have any questions, even things like "what the fuck are you even talking about" feel free to ask. i want to feel confident in what i make again and i think sometimes interrogation from an outside source is really

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that said, let's get started. wait just kidding i want a cup of coffee first, hold on.

ok now im ready. i have a big glass of water. i have coffee. i have a headset for the parts of work that don't involve typing words. i can't type words and listen to some streamer babble in my ear at the same time, so it has to be instrumental music or nothing. i just took my meds so they should kick in after about 30 mins. i woke up late today, which is weird and annoying. but maybe i can work late instead.

first off, i need to know where i'm going beyond this one page. if i dont know where im going with something, then i usually create something that sucks that i have to deal with later. hold on my internet died, i have to reset the router. ok, anyway.

what's rattling around in my brain is that not only do i have to deal with maxine's current predicament, i am also dealing with multiple plot elements i need to wrap back around to from the previous chapter. luckily, im about to put maxine down for a nap, which means i can get back to those other elements:

i need to finish the exposition from the three ankou characters for this story arc establishing their motivations as the oppositional force in the story. the "villain" is not these three specifically, but their boss. they need to have a loose understanding of what's going on in order to communicate this to the audience. god this started turning into a huge ass paragraph so i'll just keep it short there.

we've jumped back to before jack's horrible day from the first chapter of this storyline so we have to make our way back toward that and then lapping it, which means wrapping up his various open threads like:

feeding victoria and learning something new about her

finding out alice is a very exceptional employee who is getting many awards

watching valdo call lily while interrupting her during something personal to ask her for help with maxine's situation.

jack meeting with valdo and lily the day after they first met so jack can just tell them straight up that lily has 4 sisters she doesnt know about.

help that girl with her poltergeist problem. remember that. i've had jokes for this rattling in my head for like 4 years. im going insane.

and also the fucking tilberi!!! that has a point its going somewhere!!! there's a larger menace here!!!

other things to set up the climax of this storyline. sexual tensions, hints at larger emotional problems not immediately evident to the reader

lots of moving parts. and i feel like im moving in slow motion to get to them. i can see them all weaving together in my head, its the process of putting that onto paper that's proving difficult.

ok that took an hour starting and stopping. -_- let me write the next part as i keep brainstorming on how to approach this page. taking a "rubber duck" approach to this might help. heres an image from the last page i worked on (i have a 5 page buffer rn so the site does not match the finished pages) to get us semi-situated.

also because images will help people understand what skill level we're working with here. i need to be able to communicate an idea to the audience; if the art also looks good on top of that, then that's just an added bonus. but the ability to communicate my ideas is sometimes hampered by my lack of artistic skill or comics language ineptitude. like those speech bubbles kind of fucking suck but at a certain point you have to just hit print on what you're working on in order to keep your already glacial pace.

webcomics is a tightrope act where you're also spinning 4 plates at once. the trick is to keep the audience from realizing how many actually fall or how wobbly they all are. the act sucks but technically its not a failure.

#a ghost story #webcomics #webcomic #webcomic day

[subsystems]

Hello -

As a person with DID who has successfully fused alters/parts, do you have any information, resources, or advice for systems hoping to do the same?

My system is hoping to reach a point where we can act and function as one, but it’s been horrible trying to find resources on fusion. Nearly every article about fusion we could find places this second to functional multiplicity and seems to confuse fusion and integration. Or worse, claims that fusion is a way to kill alters!

Our therapist has been immensely helpful, but we find ourselves wanting to read more about this process or hear from others who have successfully managed a fusion. Any help would be greatly appreciated - thank you!

Hi, anon. I'm so sorry that you've been struggling to find resources on your desired recovery. I went through that struggle too, it's hard. I'm glad you have a therapist to help you out through all of this.

If you want, I've talked about my own experience with final fusion on this blog and I'm always open to talking about it more if there's anything in particular you want to hear about!

Definitely seek out other systems who have experience with partial/full fusion, too. Off the top of my head, there's @system-of-a-feather, @reimeichan, @hiiragi7, and @smokee78 (hope it's okay to tag you guys!). They haven't been active recently, but back when I was working towards final fusion, @puppydeathfarts made posts that I found really helpful. If there's anyone else who has experience with partial/full fusion, though, please leave a comment!

I also recommend checking out Rachel Downing's experience with final fusion/full integration and Jess's from Multiplicity & Me:

Their experiences helped me feel less alone when I was pursuing final fusion. There was also another person, but unfortunately they left the community due to harassment and deleted their posts. I will forever for grateful to all of them for being brave enough to share this vulnerable and personal part of their lives, they've certainly given me the strength to share my own.

As for articles, unfortunately I don't know of too many that don't stigmatize final fusion. DID-research offers a good summary of final fusion and a few interesting links to check out here.

You can find a bunch of free downloads for self-help books here. Out of all of them, I feel like Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation is a great self-help book for people who are a being supported by a therapist and interested in pursuing harmony and stronger integration within their dissociative system. I don't think it would've been possible for me to achieve final fusion or even functional multiplicity without the techniques I learned from this book. I cannot emphasize how useful it is!

Some extra things from me:

You have to work with your parts, first. You can't skip ahead to fusion. Aim to pave for understanding, acceptance, and harmony within your system. Fusion, if you want it, is the natural progression to that!

There are ways to test out fusion. Talk to your therapist about "blending" (it's also described in the coping book, but definitely mention it to your therapist). You can test out what it's like to be fused as many times as you want.

Fusion can feel weird at first. It shouldn't feel bad, but it can be strange. It took me time to get used to it. It can also feel differently depending on what stage of recovery you're in... ->

When I still had amnesia and less co-operation in my system, fusions slid under the radar and surprised the hell out of me! As I continued lowering those dissociative barriers, developing better communication and co-consciousness as a system, things become way clearer.

After you become fully fused for the first time, it's completely okay if you fall apart a few times before it really sticks! Final fusion is a process, not a destination.

You're allowed to choose whatever labels you want after final fusion. Call yourself a system or plural or say you've become a singlet or whatever you want. It's also okay to go unlabeled!

Your parts aren't gone after final fusion, but that separation is gone and it's okay if you need to mourn that. Sometimes I miss what it was like being fragmented. It's not because I want to be fragmented again, but because that was how I lived my entire life up until now, it was what was most natural to me, and it had its good and bad sides. I'm thankful for it because it was that separation which allowed me to survive! I view this similarly to how it was like to move recently. Sometimes I miss my old home, but that doesn't mean I want to go back or that I'm not happier where I am now. Things can be complicated like that!

After final fusion, you continue to learn new things about yourself and your system. It's a new journey in of itself -- a very, very wonderful one. 💚

I hope you find something helpful here. Either way, know that you are not alone on this journey. I support you whole-heartedly. Good luck with everything!

- Sunflower

#actuallydid #DIDrecovery #DID recovery #final fusion #integration #DID support #sunflower answers #personal experiences #apologies for how long it took to answer this ask

[heavyhitterheaux]

December 21st

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

Synopsis: You and Jack, your fiancé of two weeks, make it official. Forever.

Pairing: Baby!Jack Harlow x Baby!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was one in the morning, cold as shit outside since it was the middle of December, but you wanted to look at the stars and Jack could never tell you no. You were currently laying on his chest as a blanket was wrapped around both of you when you just knew this white boy had lost his fucking mind. 

“We should get married.”

“Jackman, are you high?”

“No, but even if I was, my answer wouldn’t change. Ever since I saw your cute little self with those braids in your hair when you first moved here, I didn’t want anyone else.”

“Wait... you’re fucking serious? Jack, our parents will kill us.”

“Can’t kill us if they don’t know.”

“I hope you don’t expect me to give you an answer with that horrible ass proposal you just did.”

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Jackman Thomas Harlow. Can’t live without you stink.”

“Well, since you’re practically begging me to, yes. Now where’s my ring?”

“About that…”

“Jack, you literally proposed to me without a ring?”

“The thought just popped in my head just now! I didn’t really think this through.”

“Jackman!”

“When I make my first million, I’m buying you the most beautiful ring that’s pear shaped since I know you love it so much. But I'll get you something else in the meantime.”

You simply shrugged.

“I would’ve said yes to you even if you proposed with one of those rings from the bubble gum machines at the grocery store.”

“Damn, mamas. I got more money than that.”

“Jack, we have had to eat at my parents house and your parents house all week because we were tired of eating ramen at our apartment.”

“Touché.”

It was around nine in the morning when you had called Dani to see what she was up to and wanted to see if she wanted to spend the day with you. 

Jack had just proposed to you the night before and you were itching to tell someone. But the two of you agreed to not tell your parents fearing that they may tell the two of you to wait.

But you didn't want to wait. You knew for a fact that this was the person that you were supposed to be with it, so why not just go for it now?

You knew Dani wouldn't let it slip and figured that she could also serve as your witness.

The most important question on your mind was what you were going to wear.

You thought that you obviously weren't going to go all out, but still wanted to look pretty for a day as special as this one was going to be. 

Jack had gone out with Urban and the two of you decided to tell PG later that day when all of you met up to play laser tag as a way to celebrate your birthday that had taken place about a week before.

It was around 2 in the morning when the two of you had decided to finally head back to your apartment and both of you couldn't help but to be all smiles. 

As Jack was driving, the radio was on a low volume as you were staring out the window. You were broken out of your trance once Jack had grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

“Why are you so quiet, princess? What are you thinking about over there?” He asked as he got off the highway and was heading to the parking garage of your apartment building. 

“Just taking it all in. Really happy and excited for this.”

“Even if you don't have a ring?”

“I have you, so what do I need the ring for? That's more important than anything.” You said while turning to look at him.

“But you deserve one, babe. It was just a spare of the moment thing and I just blurted it out.”

“But you knew that whenever you did it that I wasn't going to say no. Like I said, I have you and the material things can come later.” 

“I already have an idea in mind of how it's going to look too.”

“And I can't wait to see it.”

Dani had picked up on the third ring and you couldn’t help but to blurt it out.

“Hii baby girl!”

“DANI, JACK PROPOSED TO ME LAST NIGHT!” You basically yelled and it was quiet for a few seconds as you were waiting for her response.

“I…  wait… seriously?”

“YES!”

“And what did you say?”

“I said yes obviously!”

“Lil Bit….” Dani started to say and your heart sank feeling like she didn't approve.

“You think I should have said no, don't you?”

“No! That isn't it at all! The two of you are just so young. You literally just turned 19 the other day.”

“But if you know that's the person that you want to be with, then why hold back? I love him very much and anyone can see that.” 

“I know you do. We can all tell. I just…. Don't want you to regret this. I… not that I think you will.”

“Why am I going to regret marrying my best friend and favorite person in the world? I thought you would be happy for me.” You answered and you could feel your eyes brimming with tears.

“I am! Just…”

“Whatever. Bye.”

Without another word, you hung up your phone and threw it on the bed behind you as you angrily wiped the tears from your face that had fallen.

Next thing you knew, you heard your phone ringing and peeked to see that it was Dani calling you back and all you did was roll your eyes and watched it until it stopped.

When your phone rang again, it was a facetime call from Jack and you quickly answered, but immediately knew that he was going to be able to tell that something was wrong.

“Yes, babe?” You said and all he did was eye you.

“You're upset. And you've been crying. What happened?” He asked, concerned but you just shook your head. 

“It's not important.”

“If something made my girl cry, it damn sure is important.”

“I'll just tell you later. I don't want to talk about it right now.”

“Fine, but don't think for one second that you're going to get out of it.”

“Okay.”

“I called to see if you wanted something from Morris Deli. Me and Urb are about to be there in a few minutes.”

You sighed before answering.

“I'll just take my usual with my mango lemonade Calypso.”

“Of course, baby. You want anything else?”

You quickly shook your head as you wiped away a stray tear that had fallen.

“You look like you could use a blueberry muffin so I'll definitely bring you some.”

That made you crack a small smile and you quickly nodded agreeing with him.

“Be back soon, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Once Jack had gotten back, he found you in your shared bedroom flipping through channels to find something to watch when he came up to you and leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead before setting your food in front of you. 

You mumbled a quiet thank you before he slid in beside you on the bed and promptly took the remote from you. 

“Are you going to tell me what's wrong now? Don’t think that I forgot.”

You simply sighed before answering. 

“I called Dani to tell her about what happened and it seemed as if she thought we were making a mistake and should wait. She didn't flat out say that, but I could tell that she had her hesitations.”

“But my question to you is, why do we care what people think? We know this is real and we're getting married to each other, so should their opinion really matter?” Jack asked while looking at you before pushing his glasses back up onto his face.

“I guess not.”

“You love me, I love you, and that's all that matters. Point blank period. Who gives a fuck if people don't like it?”

“It shouldn't bother me, but it does.”

“Once we say our vows, they'll have no choice but to accept it and accept us. I want forever with you and I know we're making the right decision.”

“If that's how she reacted, how do you think PG will?” You asked, hoping that they would be supportive of you.

“They'll probably ask what took us so long to do it.”

“Hmm, I can see that.”

“But for now, I want you to not dwell on what she said, or what she didn’t say for that matter. We have bigger things to worry about and focus on.”

“True.” You quietly said before reaching for a blueberry muffin that you proceeded to break in half and hand it to Jack who quickly accepted it.

It was quiet for a few seconds before you spoke up again.

“Now, the most important part is what am I going to wear?”

As thoughts were running through your mind about what your outfit choice will be, Jack quietly muttered to himself.

“The most important part for me is getting a ring for you.”

“What was that, babe?” You asked as you handed your drink to him so that he could open it for you.

“Nothing you need to worry your pretty little self about.” Jack answered as he handed you back your drink and leaned over to kiss your cheek which immediately made you smile. 

—-

Later that night after you, Jack, and PG met up and went to laser tag, all of you were now sitting around the table in one of your favorite burger spots and it was around 10 at night when Urban quickly took notice of something.

“What is up with you two?” He asked while looking over at you and Jack who was currently feeding you cheese fries.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked as you also looked at Urban curiously.

“Something’s different and I don’t know how I know and I don’t know what it is, but something is different.”

“How is anything different? They are literally sucking each other’s faces off every three minutes and making me sick as usual.” 2fo quickly piped up and all you did was roll your eyes and throw a fry at him which he quickly caught and ate.

“Hmm, no. Something is different. So spill it.” Urban said and both you and Jack exchanged looks.

“Should we tell them?” He asked while looking at you for confirmation.

“Tell us what?!” Shloob asked and now all eyes were on the two of you.

“I guess we can. I mean we might as well.” You responded while shrugging. 

“Okay what we’re about to tell you CANNOT leave this table.” Jack started to say, but Quiiso quickly screamed.

“Oh shit, you got her pregnant didn’t you?!”

“What?! NO! Shut up for a second and listen!”

“Not going to lie, I thought that was where we were going for a second too.” Urban quickly agreed before looking back over at the two of you for an explanation.

“Jack asked me to marry him.” You quickly blurted out and the table went dead silent as everyone’s mouth was hanging wide open in disbelief.

“I… come again? Like walk down the aisle married? Like till death do yall part married? Like…..”

“Yes, Ace.”

“And are we absolutely positive that you’re not pregnant?” 2fo asked again while looking at you.

“NO!”

“Wait a minute, well what did you say?! Don’t leave us in suspense!”

“Come on now, Urb. We know she said yes!”

“How do you know I said yes?!”

All of them simply looked at you before rolling their eyes which made Jack stifle a laugh and you lightly hit him on his shoulder.

“Okay fine, I said yes. But yall can’t tell anyone. We’re not even telling our parents.”

“Oh good lord so you mean to tell me Mama Ivy and Mama Maggie are not only about to beat yall asses when they find out, but ours too?”

“And that’s why none of you are saying anything about it, correct?” Jack asked as he eyed them and everyone quickly nodded.

“Well, where’s your ring?!”

“Um, working on that part. She’ll have it by the time we say our vows.”

“What the? Not Jack proposing to our girl without a ring….”

“It was a spare of the moment thing and I just blurted it out!”

“Hmm, typical.”

“Now you know she loves your ass if you proposed to her without a ring and she still said yes.” Urban said while taking a sip of his soda.

“And, we’re absolutely positive you aren’t carrying baby Harlow?”

“FOR THE LAST TIME, NO 2FO!”

He immediately held his hands up in defense as he looked over at the two of you.

“Okay, okay! Just making sure!” 

By the time you, Jack, and Urban got back to your apartment it was past midnight and you were ready to catch up on some much needed sleep. Before you did, you decided that you were going to take a shower in order for you to be able to sleep better. Being able to sleep next to Jack was simply a plus.

While you were in the shower, Jack was trying to come up with a plan in order to get you a ring and was asking Urban for his help.

“I can’t exactly get her everything she wants right now and I know she understands that, but I still want to get her something.”

“Maybe a pawn shop? You might be able to find something there. But I have a question and don’t take this the wrong way.”

“What is it?”

“When you do get signed because we know it’s bound to happen, I don’t think that they’re going to want to push the narrative that you’re married. They might even try to convince you to break up with her.”

“Like that’s ever going to happen and where was the question in that?” Jack responded as he rolled his eyes.

“Jack, I’m being serious. I get that you told us to not say anything, but….”

“And that’s why the only people who are going to know are the ones that need to. I’m not going to let anything come between me and her.”

“But, are you sure that this is the right move to make? And to do it now?”

“I thought you would be happy for us about this.” Jack said quickly getting defensive.

“That isn’t it at all. I just….. We’ve heard stories about the industry and how ruthless and cut-throat people can be. Look, all I’m saying is that you better not forget that she was with you when you didn’t have a damn thing to your name. Don’t switch up on your girl because I will beat your ass if you do.”

Over the course of the next week, Dani still hadn’t gotten an answer from you despite how many times that she tried to call you in order to be able to explain herself. As a last resort, she sent a text to Jack hoping that what she was about to suggest would make up for it. 

Dani- Jack, would you have happened to have gotten her ring yet?

Jack- Nope and the last thing I want is for her to be disappointed, but between her birthday just passing and Christmas coming, I have no idea how I’m going to do it

Dani- I know someone and I can help you pay for it. It's the least that I can do since I know she's mad at me right now with how I reacted when she told me.

Jack- That's nice of you, but I have no idea when I would be able to pay you back for it.

Dani- All I ask for in return is you taking care of my little sister and being the best possible husband to her. Don't worry about paying me back. Meet me at 11 near Carmichael's so we can go and get it. Do you have an idea of what she wants?

Jack- Definitely princess cut or pear shaped

Dani- She's going to be so surprised when you show it to her

Jack was now holding onto your ring back at your shared apartment and he was simply staring at it in awe hoping that you loved it as much as he did. 

He had it in the back of his mind that he had to remember to do something really nice for Dani when he got the opportunity to do so for doing this for him.

Because he knew she definitely didn't have to.

Even though he knew that you were still upset with her, he did tell her where you were because he figured that you would have wanted help when it came to picking out something to wear. He knew that you just wanted something simple, but also knew deep down that out of all people you would want your sister to help you make a final decision. 

While you were going to look for a dress, Jack was going to pick up Clay and spend the rest of the day with him and tell him that he asked for you to marry him. 

They were both sitting across from each other at KFC since Jack had treated him when Jack had just blurted it out and Clay was mid-bite when he stopped chewing and looked up at his older brother in disbelief.

“Want to run that one by me again?”

“I asked Y/N to marry me.”

“You do realize mom and dad are going to kill you.”

“Can't kill me if they don’t know.”

“WAIT! So you're not even going to tell them!?”

“I’m an adult, what do I need to tell them for?”

“Uh, because? It's not like this is life changing or anything.” Clay shot back being sarcastic. 

“We've been together since we were 15, they had to have seen this coming.”

“But…”

“Look Clay, I want you to be there. But, you can't tell mom and dad. We're going to tell them, we just aren't doing it right now.”

“You got her pregnant didn’t you?”

“NO! She's not pregnant! Why does everyone keep asking me that!?”

“Because what two nineteen year olds just wake up and decide to get married?”

“We do.”

“I… I won't say anything. I see how happy the two of you make each other so it was bound to happen, I guess.”

“She means the world to me and I figured if I found my person, why should I wait to marry her?”

You were currently at the mall looking through racks of different dresses when you were caught off guard by your big sister staring at you when you looked up.

All you did was sigh and immediately rolled your eyes as she made her way closer.

“Lil Bit…”

“What do you want? I have a dress to shop for.”

“I know and that’s why I’m here. Jack sent me.” She softly said and you rolled your eyes again.

“Got damn it. I forgot we always have each other’s location on. I’m going to kick his ass.”

“No, don’t. He did it because he knew that deep down you would want for me to help you and that’s all I’m here to do. Help you look pretty on your big day even though you don’t need much help to begin with.” She said while pinching your cheek and you immediately swatted her hand away.

When you were quiet as you were looking at dresses, she piped up once again.

“Will it help you forgive me if I tell you that I’m going to buy your dress and not to worry about the price? And if you haven’t gotten Jack’s ring, I’ll pay for that too.”

Your eyes went wide and immediately left the sales rack to go over to the regularly priced items and all she did was laugh as she followed behind you.

“Then I take that as a yes.”

“But I’m still mad at you.”

“What I said was never meant to hurt you. I said it out of concern. I know that Jack is going to take care of you. There is literally no doubt in my mind about that. But wait, are you pregnant? Because…”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT?! NO I’M NOT.”

“Okay, okay! I was just asking!” She said while holding her hands up in defense as you were now holding up a white tulle dress and you were in awe. You had the perfect set of combat boots to go with it since you didn't want to wear heels.

“That would look gorgeous on you. Go and try it on.” She excitedly said as she pushed you towards the dressing room.

Once back at your apartment, you had to do your best to hide your dress from Jack and decided that putting it in Urban’s closet was the best idea that you could possibly come up with. What you didn’t expect was for Jack to be at the door as soon as you opened it ready to greet you.

“Hi baby, did you find a dress?” He asked as he leaned down to kiss you.

“Yes, and no you can’t see it.”

“What the? Why not?!”

“It’s bad luck, Jackman Thomas! I want this marriage to last forever and not 24 hours!”

“We are not going to break up in 24 hours if I see your dress! How am I supposed to coordinate your outfit with mine?!”

“It’s white. Do what you will with that information.”

“WHAT?! Baby! You can’t be serious! That’s all you’re going to tell me?!”

“Yes smush, now move. And I’m putting it in Urban’s room and you better not peek. You'll see it once I'm ready.” You said while giving him the evil eye, but all he did in response was roll his eyes at you. 

You then made your way down the hallway to see Urban’s room door open and all he did was stare at you as you made a beeline for his closet. Once you opened it, you quickly put your dress in the far left corner before closing it.

“Urby, you are on dress duty. If Jackman tries to sneak a peek at it or even you for that matter, I will mop the floor with both of you and steal your weed.”

“I… is all that really necessary?”

“NO PEEKING!”

You went back out into the living room to find Jack flipping through channels on the television and you quickly went and sat down in his lap. 

“Babe, we have to decide when we want to do this.” You heard him say as you turned your body so that you were sitting sideways and leaned your head down on his shoulder.

“I want to do it as soon as possible.”

“Wait… as in how soon?”

“I want to do it before Christmas.”

“Princess…. You are aware that Christmas is in six days, correct?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“The only day that we would be able to do it is the 21st.”

“Then the 21st it is.” You responded as you kissed his cheek before going to lay back down on his shoulder.

“You know Dani asked me if I was pregnant when she saw me.”

“Why is that everyone’s first thought?! We can't just get married because we want to?”

“Apparently not. And I should kick your ass for telling her where I was.” 

“But I know my girl and I know you wanted her opinion on what you should wear. Am I right?”

“Don't push it, Jackman.”

“And obviously it went well since you definitely came back here with a dress.”

“Not the point.” 

“Love you stink.”

“I don't know if I love you right now. Talk to me in fifteen minutes.” 

“I….really?”

“Quit talking or I'll make it 20.” 

It was the morning of the 21st and you woke up wrapped in Jack’s arms and simply smiled to yourself. This was about to be the first day of forever with him officially and reality was slowly starting to set it. Even though you didn’t let him see your dress, you still stayed in the apartment with him last night wanting for you both to be on time to the courthouse, because knowing you, you would be about an hour late and could only imagine the look on Jack’s face when you did show up.

Knowing how dramatic he was, he would probably think that you ditched him. 

You turned to your left so that you were now facing Jack and placed a soft kiss on his cheek and he responded by hugging you tighter.

“Good morning my beautiful bride and future wife.”

“And good morning to you my handsome groom and future husband. What time do we have to be there?”

“Hmm in about three hours so we have plenty of time. Everyone knows what time to meet us there.”

“And… you're absolutely positive about not telling our parents about this?” You asked while sighing.

“So they can convince us to back out of it? We'll tell them when the time is right.” 

“Okay, I guess that's fair.”

“And babe, don't be surprised that you don't have a lot of gifts under the tree this year. I had to pay…” Jack was immediately cut off by you shaking your head.

“Stop. And stop right now. The biggest gift that I get to have this year is marrying you. And how many times do I have to tell you that the material things are a plus? They can come later. I have you and that's what's important.”

“Damn, you really love me huh?” Jack asked you while smirking.

“Don't you think it's a little late to be asking me that seeing as I'm supposed to get married to you in less than three hours?”

Jack simply shrugged.

“Reassurance never hurt anyone. But just wait until I hit my first million. I'm buying you anything and everything you want.”

“No you're not because we need to save some too. You have to be smart about this. You're not going to be one of those rappers that spend all their money and go broke.”

“But if I do, will you still love me?”

“Smush, we're broke right now so obviously the answer is yes.”

“We are not broke!”

“Hmm, keep telling yourself that baby. Now in the meantime, I'm going to start getting ready if we want to be there on time.”

“Please do because knowing you, it'll be damn near midnight before we get there.”

“I'm ignoring you, so unhand me.”

Just then you heard your door bust wide open and looked to see Urban looking at the two of you and eating a bag of hot cheetos.

“Good, yall have clothes on because I never know anymore. HAPPY WEDDING DAY! Okay, now when are we leaving?”

“Around 10:45 and Urb, don't forget the ring.”

“Wait, you bought me a ring?” You asked, startled and taken aback while Jack just looked at you.

“Baby, did you honestly think that I was going to marry you without one?”

“Well you proposed to me without one…”

“I…”

“Welp, she got you there. Lil Bit got a ring for you too.” Urban piped up and now it was Jack’s turn to look surprised.

“You did!?”

“Baby, did you honestly think that I was going to marry you without one?” You said in Jack’s voice mocking him.

“Hey! I don't sound like that!”

But all you and Urban did was stare at him.

“Love you, now I'm going to get ready.”

You and Jack were now sitting in his car that was parked on the side of the building when he noticed that you were now starting to stare off into space. 

“Babe?” Jack said before waving his hand in front of your face breaking you out of it. 

“Oh, we're here already?”

“Princess, we've been here for almost fifteen minutes. Just waiting for everyone else to get here. You’re not having second thoughts are you? We can always….”

“No. We’re doing this and we’re doing it today. I never have second thoughts when it comes to you.”

Next thing you knew, Urban was flying into the parking lot with 2fo, Clay, and Shloob while Quiiso and Ace were coming in behind them.

“Good lord. And you're worried about my driving? Look at Urban.”

“I… Well…. The only thing that you’ve driven are go karts and that still didn’t go over well.”

“Now, we know that’s a lie. I bet that I’m going to get my license on the first try”

“Hmm, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

That was when both of you decided to get out of the car and Jack was helping you fix your dress when you looked over at Urban who was walking towards the two of you with everyone else and he was looking a little dazed.

“You cannot be fucking serious. Jackman…. is your best man HIGH right now!?” You said through gritted teeth. 

“Come onnnn you two, we have a wedding to get to!” You heard Dani say from behind you and Jack didn't even have a chance to respond. 

“Jack, just know if you mess up and she ends up divorcing you, I'm ready to slide in and replace you.” Clay said as he came up next to the two of you but all Jack did was roll his eyes.

“Clay, you can't marry her. You aren't old enough.”

“For now big brother. For now.”

“And Y/N, first, that dress looks amazing on you and second, give me a few more years.”

“Why thank you little baby.” You responded while pinching his cheek while Jack hit him in the back of his head.

“OW!” 

“Urby…” You started to say as he was messing with his shirt.

“Urby….”

Silence. 

“URBAN HENRY!”

“Oh, hmm? We ready to go inside?”

“I am never riding with this man ever again.” You heard 2fo muttered as he pulled out a cookie and stuffed it in his mouth. 

“Yall can go in front of us, just give us a minute.” 

Jack waited until everyone was out of earshot before he turned back to you and it looked like he was about to throw up at any minute.

“Uh? Babe? Are you okay?” You asked concerned and all he did was nod his head towards you.

“Sooo, we’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

“Yes, we’re really doing it. You love me enough to give me your last name?”

“From the first minute I saw that girl across the street with those pretty braids in her hair.”

All you could do was smile as you hugged him. 

“You ready to get married? You ready for forever with me princess?”

“Damn right, I am.” 

—

5 Years Later (This takes place after Two Halves of a Whole Idiot Instagram AU)

“Shit.”

“Fuck!” 

The both of you looked at each other as you had both seen the comment that Urban had left under your instagram post and sighed.

There was no turning back now and it was officially out there for the entire world to see. 

“URBAN!” Both you and Jack yelled before he peeked his head around the corner looking guilty.

“Uhh so I can delete my comment. I totally forgot.”

“HOW DID YOU FORGET THAT WE’RE MARRIED AND DIDN’T TELL ANYONE YET?!” Jack exclaimed while running a hand through his curls.

“Look, babe he was high when we did it and he’s probably high now, so are we really surprised?” You piped up and Jack stifled a laugh. 

“I WAS NOT HIGH AND I’M NOT HIGH RIGHT NOW!”

“Our moms are going to kill us.” You quietly said while ignoring Urban’s last comment as you noticed your phone started ringing in your hand.

“Oh no.” You quietly said as you threw your head back in disbelief.

“Baby, who is that?”

“My mom and she’s not going to stop until I answer and I know that for a fact. So I’m turning my phone off. Jack, keep yours on.”

“WHAT? SO I CAN GET YELLED AT?”

“Better you than me. Maggie is going to mop the FLOOR with you. She loves me so I know she won’t be mad at me.”

“I… seriously?”

“Yes. Maybe if you tell her our first born will be named after her she’ll be less mad.”

“I thought the first born is going to be named after me?”

“Not now, Urban! We���re having a crisis here and it’s YOUR FAULT.”

“But is this really a bad thing? I mean…. People already know that the two of you are together.”

“Well it really doesn’t matter if it’s a bad thing or not. It’s out for the world to see so… nothing we can do about it now.” 

Just then Jack’s phone rang and sure enough it was Maggie. He let it ring and proceeded to get a text from her soon after.

Mom- Either you answer my call or I’m getting on a plane with Ivy and we’ll be there by tonight. Your choice.

You were peeking over Jack’s shoulder and had seen what she said so you quickly hit her picture icon to call her back as Jack started yelling.

“BABY, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

“DID YOU NOT READ HER TEXT? EITHER YOU CALL HER BACK OR SHE’S GOING TO BE ON OUR DOORSTEP IN LIKE A MATTER OF HOURS.”

“Okay, I’m going to see myself out now.” Urban said before walking out of the room.

A few seconds later, Maggie answered and she did not look pleased.

“Shit, I didn’t know you facetimed her.” Jack whispered in your ear as you were sitting on his lap and smiling in the camera.

“Hiiiii Mama Maggie!” You said and all she did was look at the two of you.

“I thought you said she was going to be less mad at you, she looks like she’s pissed at both of us.”

Then without warning from behind her, you saw your mom pop into the frame.

“Oh shit, they work fast. What the? Are you two at the AIRPORT?”

“You two have A LOT of explaining to do.” Was all Maggie said as she was shaking her head.

“I… Jack made me do it.”

“EXCUSE ME? YOU SAID YES SO DON’T YOU DARE PUT ALL OF THIS ON ME. IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE TO EXCHANGE VOWS.”

“Who else knew?” Was all your mom asked as you now saw that they were at their gate.

“Umm….”

“Jackman and Y/N, you better start talking and you better start now. We’re still on our way to Atlanta, but this is your chance to state your case.”

Jack started firing off names and you couldn’t help but laugh because he was doing it as if he was trying to get a shorter jail sentence. 

“Clay, Dani, Urban, 2fo, Shloob, Quiiso, Ace.”

“CLAY?!” Was all Maggie exclaimed with a look of disbelief on her face.

“And how long?”

“Umm, this year would make it five years.” You quietly said.

“FIVE YEARS? THE TWO OF YOU GOT MARRIED AT NINETEEN?!”

“Uh? Does it make it any better that we were going to tell you this year and have a destination wedding?” Jack asked and both of them shook their heads no.

“We’re about to board and the two of you better be at your house when we get there.”

Without another word Maggie hung up and the two of you were sitting in silence for a few minutes before anyone said anything.

“Uh babe?” You asked while turning around to look at him and he simply sighed.

“Hmm?”

“What percentage do you think we have of surviving the conversation that is bound to happen later?”

“Negative ninety-nine.”

Jack’s phone went off again and it was Clay who had sent him a text.

Clay- I told you so. Have fun getting yelled at. 

Jack- But keep in mind little brother, you knew we were married and I just told mom that you did.

Clay- I.. SO I’M IN TROUBLE TOO?

Jack- Love you!

Jack was caught off guard with you suddenly kissing him on the cheek and starting to play with his beard.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Nothing. I just know that five years ago I made the best decision of my life. I wouldn’t want to be doing this with anyone else and I look forward to spending forever with you.”

All Jack did was smile and gave you several kisses before tightly hugging you.

“Can’t even put into words how much I love you. Almost five years in and a lifetime to go.”

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#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x you #first lady of pg

[r0w0fie]

Update on the CK situation:

I'm shocked I'm saying this but, instead of Carnivorekitty giving it some time to settle down & to use that time to grow . . He just deleted/deactivated his art accounts???

His Tumblr has been deactivated & his Ck twitter account has been seemingly deleted. The Lurking for Love twitter account is still up.

Edit 2: his art twitter is still up but the tag have been changed & the account privated. Any use of the direct link to the old tag doesn't work, hence why I thought it was possibly deleted.

He has changed his now deactivated Tumblr name to "don't make your fanbase on here" which says alot . . .

His Carrd has also been cleared out, including the Toyhouse account. Although his Ko-fi & Itchio are still up. You can see a preview to the old links in the second screenshot below.

Edit 1: his carrd has also been deleted now

He has renamed his previous Carnivorekitty twitter account to yeehawcrow and has privated it.

The background image was changed after the situation. This is just another jab at his fanbase, same as all his other account name changes.

His Niwi account, the one with the transphøbia & -ism interactions, is still up but has been privated.

The name change is still up which shows that he still stands by his views. Do with that info as you will, just no harassment towards said account please & thanks.

I hope this is the last time I have to say anything or update people on the issue.

Some personal thoughts & feelings under the cut ⬇️

I am now further disappointed with Tom. I do not know if he said anything before deactivating, like a farewell or a "will be back eventually".

If he had of simply given it some time, let the dust settle, realign his mental state and then try to figure out why this was so hurtful to his fanbase. He could of had a chance to return & continue on; if he wanted too.

Of course, not everyone would be happy to see him return. Not everyone would even interact with his accounts or be willing to be in the fandom again. But it was still an option, especially if he uses this as a learning opportunity, not just for past fans or present fans, but for himself.

I personally won't be supporting Tom unless some serious growth & acknowledgment is shown. Unfortunately, I don't think thats going to happen any time soon due to the examples & links above. It might never happen or it might take months/years.

I hope Tom is safe & I hope everyone else is safe aswell. Make sure to look after yourselves & reach out to those you trust if you're not doing too hot xx

For now I will change my hyperfocus from Jacob & co onto other games & characters. It hurts to do so but there are so many good peeps out there & we shouldn't be afraid to trust them. I hug anyone who now is because of this situation 🫂

I will forever be into Milo (@/solarchaotica's oc) & will be getting back into LoveLock so I can bully my fave character Walter even tho Seb is the fan fave lol

My personal feelings on all of this? It's shitty.

People defending all of the horrible evidence, without saying they don't agree with aspects of these "questionable" simply because they want to defend CK; is shitty.

People putting things in other people's mouths, is shitty.

People burying their heads in the sand because they want to ignore it all; is shitty.

People giving excuses, even excuses as to why they are ignoring this issue or ignoring certain parts of this issue, is shitty.

People who genuinely support these types of beliefs, only joined in because they're genuinely phobic & aren't even in the L4L/murdersim community; is shitty. (& Yes I've seen it happen)

People who harrass anyone involved, Tom himself, is shitty.

People who use this as evidence to defend other past users actions, is shitty.

People who lash out their hurt through nasty words & ill wishes upon others, is shitty.

People who say anything about Tom or others ky$-ing themselves, are super mega shitty like wtf??? Don't do that???? I only saw one person but still????

It's all just super mega shitty and I hate it so much and it hurts so much to see other people be so so hurt and just aaahshsgskxbdjfb. I cried the first day, not because of my personal feelings, but because of others talking openly about how hurt this made them. Seeing my friends be hurt. Strangers be hurt. Mutuals be hurt. I could still cry if I let myself dwell on it for too long.

I wish things could of ended up better. When I posted on the situation I tried to tell peeps to keep an open mind & to look after themselves. I just hope this is a learning experience for alot of people.

#murdersim #jacob alden #carnivorekitty #lurking for love #jacob lfl #l4l #niwinoodle #tw: discrimination #tw// lgbt+phobia #tw// transphobia