#do i identify as trans? sure if you want to dig and dig at me to get me to say. but i also AM male and AM so much

[uncanny-tranny]

The weirdest double standard is trans people can only ever "identify as" and cis people just "are," and the more time goes on and people start realizing this, I hope this will change

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #at this point somebody saying 'you identify as male' to me is an instant red flag #because 'identify as' language is a good way to say 'well you just IDENTIFY that way that doesn't mean you ARE' #do i identify as trans? sure if you want to dig and dig at me to get me to say. but i also AM male and AM so much #this goes double for when somebody just assumes they know how you want to be referred to as #i think trans liberation will start to happen when trans people can just 'be' in the same way which everybody else can #when being trans matters perhaps but it matters in the same way people wear glasses or have grey eyes or are left-handed #being trans CAN matter but people amplify somebody's transness in often insidious ways

[can-ya-guess-my-curent-obsession]

Hey again 😼 maybe another idea for you? Maybe Gorillaz members w a trans ftm s/o who’s insecure about being trans; like they don’t like that they still have feminine bits ig lol

Hope you’re having a slaytastic day

-🍜

FTM S/O dealing with dysphoria from their appearance

WRITERS NOTES: Hey great to hear from ya again 🍜Anon. And Y E S i love this idea, i think your talking about body baised gender dysphoria, which i can relate to hugely- that shit sucks ass. I think I got outa had with Murdoc's hc, and I had more ideas for some then others. And with that I hope you slaytastic day yourself. And honestly no to sure how I would go about writing this, so if this isn't exactly what you wanted sorry. And sorry if they aren't as long as usual, but like I said I lacked Ideas for this sadly

[ANOTHER NOTE: eh... sorry this took awhile I won't be posting at my previous pase due to the fact a lot of life stuff has been happening recently, and I just don't have as much time as I would like, though I hopefully won't be this slow at writing but just working at a more comfortable pase.]

Edited: fuck no

All art in this post is mine

TW:Curssing, gender dysphoria, transphobia, Implied drug uses, Murdoc being drunk, T, Murdocs dad, Murdocs childhood, ahhh- theres probably more but I can't think of it- so tell me if ya think of anything

Characters:

/Gorillaz/

2D

What?

What do you mean you don't like you body?

What is there to not like?

Huh- specific parts you say?

He still doesn't understand- I mean he understands that the fact that you are trans which means your body is not exactly your favorite part of yourself due to the lack of matching you identified gender but he does not understand the depth of upset-ness his boyfriend feels- but like I said he tries his best

So S/O would have to try and explain it 2D

And in the end 2D does understand more but he still doesn't fully grasp everything so 2D turns to google for answers

When 2D woke up at night again from his migraines and couldn't go back to sleep he decides this is the best time to do his research... at 2:00 AM, so 2D goes on insomnia fulled google spree

And my dear fucking lord satan does he go down a rabbit hole

2D can hardly process half the shit he reads

And by the end of it his head is spinning and he's so fucking exhausted

But at least he grasped some stuff and understands even more now, and he knows what he should do!

But first he needs a little nap he earned it

When he wakes up the the first thing he can remember it binders- so his scowers the internet and orders everyone he sees- good and bad quality, I mean its not like 2D's reading the reviews he's just ordering ever single one he stumbles upon

Then he goes to the store and buys even more

It's moments like this he's glad he remembers he's got a shit ton of money

And one day when S/O comes over to vist 2D- 2D tells his boyfriend to stand there for a second

"Hun- do'ya mind stand'en dere fer sec"

He giggles to himself as he runs in the other room, leaving S/O concerned and confused

Next thing you know- your on the floor after what feels like who knows how many binders have been flug/dumped on you

It takes a silent minute for 2D to process that you may be stuck

In which 2D freaks and digs S/O and explains to him that he was trying to my S/O feel better- which touched S/O that 2D cared this much about him

And then S/O had to explain that he didn't need this many binders

So the two of you spent the next two hours picking out what binders work best

S/O was modeling each one- and figured out which one fit best(because 2D didn't really check sizes either), and were as comfortable as possible

And the whole time 2D was praiseing and tell S/O he looked amazing

After S/O picked thw ones he liked, both decided to donate the remaining binders

Its was really sweet of of him

But either way 2D will in any way possible try and make S/O feel better about himself

2D is just as physically affectionate with his S/O in this as as he would be in any other

Though he can get a bit anxious about touching S/O since his dysphoria was body baised- and was scared of triggering a bad reaction

2D has a big thing for words of affirmation, but due to S/O's body baised gender dysphoria- he tends to praise his boyfriends body spisificly, and it's very obvious what he's trying to do when he says it

"Ya' know I' didn't tink I could be attracted to someones frame... iz... broad.... and manly..."

"Your face is soooo handsome-- oh!.... an' guy-ish..."

It's not like he's lieing he's just kinda shit at subtly tell his boyfriend about it

Either way- while he can be a bit ignorant at first he tried his damn best

"Why trans people need'a binder? Are they going to school?"

*S/O facepalming*

Murdoc

Ok before we can start we need talk about transgender stuff in general and Murdoc did that make sense?

In the 2D x Male S/O x Murdoc, 2D x Male S/O, and Murdoc x Male S/O I had briefly mentioned Murdocs dad being homophobic- well that doesn't even scratch the surface of Sebastian's asshole-lery

Sebastian was a dick queer/LGBTQIA+ people, not like "FUCK THE GAYS- THEIR DELUSIONAL" more like "I talk a bit of shit about queer people behind peoples back, don't be like them son" -ish way

In which he instilled those trashy views on Murdoc as a kid, as when I said 'talk shit behind people I meant he "talked" about it to Hannibal and Murdoc, and randos he hung out with at the bar(I might do a separate thing in the future on how I think murdocs childhood went down, and what kind of person Sebastion was, cuz theres A LOT I could say)

And due to his fathers ways being imprinted in his head as a kid, Kid/Teen Mudz was not exactly found of queer/LGBTQIA+ people in general either

Well it's not like society liked them at that time either: Murdocs year of birth 1966, The year Britain legalized gay marriage 2014

So at that time no one was exactly fond of them

But either way Kid/Teen Murdoc fond of them either

And because of his wasn't fond of them- Murdoc Bullied/teased any one of the queer/LGBTQIA+ community... like a lot... yeah lets just say his sense of humor wasn't exactly nice..

These actions and old views still haunt him to this day

Russel's the only one who knows the full extent of his behavior as a kid because while drunk Murdoc confessed this to him, and 2D over heard a bit- but was swiftly bunbarded by Murdoc once he noticed 2D, Mudz begged them to not tell Noodle

And most of this shit is internalized so if you can't rip open Mudz chest with your love and affection- then good luck getting a straight answer from him

This guilt didn't bother him as much in earlier phases(before plastuc beach).... though thats not saying much

But when the later phases arrived he started drinking tiny bit less, which made memories resurface.... and my god he felt guilty

Ok Fuck- on to the actual hc now...

Wether its phase 1 or phase 7, Murdocs anxious as hell around his S/O, because of the fact they are trans- and this is true before they even started dating- if learned that info before dating

I mean it's nothing to do with his S/O and the fact he's trans- in the sence of his S/O's physically body he does not care you bits you have man- he can work with either...

But... he can't stop thinking about the way he treat trans people in the past- he feels soooo guilty(which he should, he acted like a dickwad)

And what worries Murdoc the most is... he's scared his new boyfriend that accepted him for his flaws and failures, and never looked at him like was worthless.... was gonna leave him because of how he acted when he was ignorant and young

One day when he's drinking alone in the Winnebago he's hit with a overwhelmed wave of guilt, that almost felt suffocating

*BUZZ*

*Phone call from ❤️Mudzy❤️*

You pick up the phone

All you hear is Murdocs indisputable sobs of apologies- while simultaneously saying something about his dad, Trans, he was young and dumb- wait did he say something about you breaking up with him?!? What the hell is he on about?

It was obvious to you he was absolutely fucked up... like even worse the usual?

You told him to sit tight and you'll be there as fast as he can

You arive and he is absolutely fucking all over the place

The Winnebago is more trashed then then usual and he's in the center of it alllll messed up

H looks like he wants to hug you but he pulls back like if he did you would hate him

To sum it up- you two spent the next 3 hours talking about his past and how you still love him, and he could not control how he was raised

Holy fuck uhhh nevermind... NOW on to the ACTUAL hc :b

He has a hard time understanding your insecurities about you body but he tries- he just thinks you too hot

So you have to like sit him down and try and make him understand- cuz otherwise he clueless- which would make worry cuz he doesn't like not knowing whats going on

So google this shit he will

Google leeds him to some interesting things... like he learns about T(testosterone hormones for transitioning)

And after siting on the idea for a bit, when he got drunk Murdy kept trying to order T, but he couldn't cuz you need a note from a doctor/therapist/psychologist to get that shit

And you found him throwing a tantrum- screaming at his computer. Fun fact this happens pretty often, because he's really bad with computers...well except for when it come to the sketchy part of the internet, Mudz knows a lot about that stuff. I swear he's on a FBI watch list

When S/O asks whats wrong murdoc spouts on about how he FUCKING can't get T for his wonderful boyfriend- *sniff* to make him feel better- *sob* make him feel better

Yes Murdoc starts to have another drunken break down

And again you have to sit him down and explain the complex process of getting stuff like that

"Well thats stupid... I've always been able to get prescription drugs without a a prescription- I used to know a guy actually, you could get anything for the right price-..." Murdoc mumbled to himself

"What-"

"Nothing..."

But in then he understands a little more, and this time please explain what he can do to make you feel better about your dysphoria, cuz he will continue to do weird shit

Murdoc's no Shakespeare, he isn't great with words or with expressing shutters feeling, so he isn't the best at comforting but he tries his best

But something nice is, when Murdoc gets really high or reallyyyyyyy drunk he tends to be more touchy and more truthful, so he'll just randomly start praising S/O, even if its a the worst time- Like:

"...S/O"

"Yeah?"

"...dove- your the most beautiful, handsome, and stunning thing ever... no one can say otherwise- your perfect from head to toe...."

"Thats nice and all but hun this really ain't the time..."

*Murdoc looks at S/O very confused then looks at the toilet he just was hurling his guts up into*

But don't worry he doesn't always dish out his best compliments in the loo

At the end of the day Murdoc really love his boyfriend no matter what they look like.

"....I Love you..."

"Huh?"

"NOTHING!"

Noodle

Probably understands the most out of the 4

Noodle is the youngest meaning- she's 'more with the times' I fucking cringed so hard writing that for some reason-

She will try to distract you in any way to get her boyfriend to feel better, and stop thinking about it

Noodle doesn't exactly a big fan of talking that much if she doesn't find the conversation meaningful, but if needed she will spend as long as her S/O needs siting there tell him how much she loves him- and his body doesn't make him any less of a man

"Don't let anyone else tell you- who you are, ok?"

"I don't know about what you think, but what I do know is that your my lovely boyfriend!"

Noodle LOVES clothes shopping- scratch that just shopping in general

So she loves takeing her S/O to shops that can get that clothing that can make him feel more comfortable in his body

She does a bit of googleing but not like a deep dive as the guys

Noodle will round house kick anyone who dares to be transphobic to S/O

Along with Noodle screaming every curse word she knows at them in every language she know

No one fucks with Noodle's boyfriend- or I swear to satan when Noodles done with that knob- they won't even be able to look you in the eyes in fear of evoking Noodles rage once more

If Noods notices her boyfriend going through a bout of of depression due to his body based gender dysphoria(fucking hell- I'm tired of typing this out if I will now refur to that as BBGD) and she will decide to plan a date for her and S/O

She does this often- but the kind of date varies based on S/O's preference

When Nood complements S/O and his body she's very blunt, abd it's very obvious what she's doing- and knows that just doesn't give a shit

"Did I ever tell you how handsome you are?"

I can't think of any more quotes sorry

She makes sure everyone gets S/O pro-nouns right, incase that makes S/O more inscure she back handed murdoc once become he misgender S/O once- on accident and 2D told you she lecturerd him later when you left, whether it was an accident or not he never did it again and Mudz shutters at the memory-

If S/O has a melt down/panic attack due to BBGD if S/O is ok with it, Noodle will hold him and juat let him get it all out, till he's ready to talk, and if S/O just wants to sit there then thats fine to

She once teasingly called you baby boy, take that for what you will

"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO MY BOYFRIEND!!!"

"Noodle- please calm down-!"

Russel

Ok... he's probably the second best at understanding your sercumstance

But that does not make it any less awkward

Russel isn't exactly a conventionalist but he tries to priase/give words of affection/affirmation to his S/O to make him feel better

I wanna say S/O is the first transgender person Rus has dated- but thats not saying much as Russel was never that big in the dating world, so his knowledge on dating in general is not that vast

So like the other guy's he does research-

And was very thorough, and comes out pretty successful in his endeavor

And before Rus decides to make and drastic decisions like a shopping spree or or almost buying T *cough* 2D *cough* Murdoc

He communicates with his S/O about what they want

And the root of his insecurities, as Rus wan't S/O to know that your body does not define you and just a bunch of really sappy love crap

"Honey, your body is not what makes you- you, it's whats on the inside, you get what I mean?"

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, it's natural to feel this way, in this kind of situation."

"I would love no matter how you looked"

And then after talking about how S/O feels on this situation

Rus then will get really serious and ask S/O if he wan't to get medical procedures done and if he did Rus would him pay for the surgerys and crap

Or he may suggest seeking professional help with you BBGD

But if S/O says no- Rus is completely fine with that he just wants his S/O to know that he loves him

If S/O is going through a especially bad bout of dysphoria, Russel will make him their favorite comfort food

Like Rus isn't great with words and depending on where you are in the relationship physically affection can be a bit stiff with him- But one thing is he's a Great Fucking Cook

Ask for any comfort food it's yours

He's a big thing for acts of service- like Noodle oftenvdoes things to distract S/O from his unpleasant feelings

Russel's a big boi with major RBF so when he's around there is less likely someones gonna say/talk transphoic shit to/about S/O

And if they do... well I hope they like confrontation, becuase Rus will not yell at them but, his words will make just about anyone shit their pants

Like 2D, Rus complements S/O that could makes S/O feel better about his BBGD- but un-like 2D he's really good at being subtle about it.

"I made you your favorite, *insert fav food*."

#2d x reader #gorillaz x reader #stuart pot x reader #noodle x reader #russel hobbs x reader #russel x reader #murdoc x reader #ftm reader #murdoc niccals #2d gorillaz #noodle gorillaz #russel hobbs #stuart pot

[ashwhowrites]

I'd like to request fluff 1 with Steve and a nonbinary/ transmasc reader please. I don't really have anything specific other than Steve being a fully supportive boyfriend like we all know he would be (points to the Stobin bathroom scene).

Also, I'm nonbinary and lean towards masc, so you can 100% shoot me any questions you have about writing this style of reader!

“You look really good in my clothes”

Reader usues they/them pronouns

Trans Reader fem- masc

Steve and Y/N have been together for around 3 months. Y/N made sure to let Steve know that even though they identified as a male, they hadn't done a full transformation. Steve admired them, never once cared that their body was different. Steve fell in love with everything about them, the person they were, and how they made Steve feel.

But Y/N still struggled with their own body. Dealing with body dysphoria on a daily basis. Steve wanted to help the best he could. Always making sure they knew Steve didn't care how their body looked, he loved every part of them. All Steve wanted to do was be as supportive as he could

Y/N has been binding down their chest for months. They knew Steve wouldn't care how their body looked when they slept over. But the feeling of cuddling with their chest being unprotected left them feeling insecure.

So now they were in Steve's bathroom, tears in their eyes as they unwrapped their chest. Looking in the mirror, hating every part that they saw.

"baby? You okay? You've been changing for a while" Steve's worried voice came from outside the bathroom door. A soft knock hitting the wood.

"yes I'm fine" they answered, sniffling as they took a deep breath.

"are you sure? You sound upset. Can you open the door?"

They sighed and opened the door. Their bare chest and naked skin open to Steve's wandering eyes

One thing about Steve, is their body drove him insane. Doesn't matter where they were together, Steve was always ready to pounce

"stop staring at me" they whined, small tears leaving their eyes as they covered their chest

"hey no no. Don't do that. You know I love looking at you " Steve purred, soft kisses pressed on their neck. Warm hands working it's way over their stomach to their back

"what's wrong?" Steve asked again, soft brown eyes looking at them

"I just feel so sore from binding my chest but the clothes I packed are....too tight and just show everything". They sighed. Throwing their shirt harshly on the floor

"hey that's okay. I got some shirts? Yeah? Let me grab one" Steve pecked their lips softly and ran to his room. Digging through his closet as he searched for a larger loose fitting shirt. He smiled in victory when he found one, yanking it off the hanger and walking back to his bathroom.

"here handsome" he said, handing them the shirt

They thanked him silently, throwing on the bigger Tshirt. Immediately feeling the warmth of Steve's smell covering their skin. The shirt was big enough that it covered their chest, loose fitting with lots of room to breathe

They went to thank Steve again but found his jaw slack and eyes heated

"Stevie?"

"um what?" He snapped out of it. Jaw closing tight as his eyes looked over them up and down

"you okay?"

“You look really good in my clothes” Steve admitted. A smile on his face

~~

It became their routine. They packed the shirt Steve let them borrow, taking it home and wearing it every night. Always packing the shirt during their sleepovers at Steve's apartment.

Steve never got used to them wearing his shirt. His brain short circuited every single time. Staring and drooling.

It made them feel confident. And led to some hot sex, there was no complaint there.

They appreciated that Steve was supportive no matter what. Loved them no matter what.

#steve stranger things #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve Harrington fluff #steve Harrington fluff x reader #steve Harrington x trans reader #steve Harrington x gn reader #steve harrington requests

[symptoms-syndrome]

I was able to clarify some of my feelings and the reason I'm feeling them in therapy yesterday.

I compared it to like. If I had gone to dozens of doctors across my years of life, and they all said I had a tumor. And now I go to a new doctor, and they say..."no you don't! There's no tumor here." I feel like that's hard to believe. I could believe something like "the tumor is smaller than they thought," or "the tumor is benign and not as malignant as we thought," but the tumor not being there at all? That feels suspicious. That feels like maybe they're not looking hard enough. If they can't see the tumor are they even a good doctor at all? How can I treat the tumor I've been going to doctors for forever if the new doctor says the tumor doesn't exist?

Similarly, my therapist talks about trying a new direction with therapy, compared to my previous therapy. But this doesn't feel like a new direction, it feels like going directly backwards. Not different from before, but directly opposing it.

Therapy was always, always about behavior. "Don't let your emotions control you," "don't let your emotions manifest in [behavior.]" Emotions were the root, but the problem wasn't the emotions, it was that I didn't have control over them. I wasn't able to push them aside enough. "Take those and throw them in the garbage," as Seba put it in therapy. "And now you want me to root through that garbage?" Similarly to that, I said that therapy always felt sort of like leading a dog on a leash. They go towards a pile of garbage and you pull them away because that's not good for them. But now it's like. My new therapist sees the dog trotting towards some garbage and goes "oh, you want to check that out? Okay! Let's see if there's anything good in there." No!!! You pull the dog away from garbage and continue on your walk, that's how it's supposed to be. Because garbage isn't good for them.

It felt helpful to talk to my therapist about it, even if I didn't feel totally resolved in the end. There's still a lot of doubt honestly. About being on the wrong path. Not seeing the right professionals. A strong, strong urge or need to quit and find someone who will therapize me the proper way. The strict and direct and no-bullshit way. It feels like I've just slammed into a wall. Refusing to make progress in this direction. Stubbornly digging my heels in the ground. This was fun, the compassionate, curious, me-led therapy. But it's time for real therapy.

I don't know what's going to happen from here. I mean, I think I'm still going to go even if those p/Parts of me are kicking and screaming about it. Even if it feels like doing nothing for an hour. Mostly because finding a therapist at all is kind of a bitch here.

I also identified that a lot of it is sort of triggered by a lot of the language I've been reading or my friends have been using. I compared it to those articles put out by conservatives that are like, "kids are identifying as grass and skipping school to photosynthesize!" to try and get people to not support trans stuff. Like, it's so dramatic and hyperbolic that you want to throw the whole thing out altogether. Words like "vicious abuse" and "deep trauma" (even words that have a very direct and explicit meaning that describes the actions exactly, like The Big R Word) and that sort of thing, saying that what people did to me was something horribly unforgivable and cruel, all that stuff. Makes it feel too dramatic to be reasonable. I don't want to be believed at the cost of being realistic. Maybe people are just taking what I say at face value too much. Maybe people aren't digging enough to uncover the real story, the actual, not dramatic thing that my brain twisted up into something horrible and spat out as a soap opera tragedy. These things sucked, sure, but lots of things suck. Falling off your bike sucks. Failing a class sucks. Getting broken up with sucks. I feel like maybe I was just experiencing things that sort of sucked. And because of something wrong with my brain, that tumor that my new therapist can't see, my brain spat it out as a totally different story.

[astriiformes]

Can I ask how you go about finding songs for character playlists? You are very good at playlists and I wish to know the secrets.

Ooh, this is a fun question!

I will say that step one is that I already have a fairly eclectic music library, which certainly helps, but I for sure still have something of a process I can share.

Usually I start by skimming through songs I already have saved -- my personal music library, my big list of favorites on Spotify, etc -- and pulling anything that feels like it has potential. I might give some songs a listen to see if I'm remembering the vibes or lyrics right, but it's very much the casual "throwing things at the wall" phase where I know I might toss songs that don't fit later.

I like to physically make a list of songs during the brainstorming phase, so I'll write down my favorite candidates from trawling my existing music. From there, I start thinking about where to find more songs that complement them. Usually this starts with me thinking about the genres/vibes of the songs and artists I've already pulled, and what other artists feel like they match, even if I don't have a song in mind. I'll make a short list of artists who I think might have something that would fit, and then I spend a while digging through their discographies. This usually yields at least a few more songs, and sometimes checking out one artist will remind me of another one (Spotify's radio and "Fans also like" features can be helpful for this too).

After that, I'll often start looking at other playlists. Occasionally that means dipping into other people's playlists for the same character, although more often than not that makes me decide there's songs I want to avoid, since I'm very committed to having my playlists be unique! What I'm more likely to do is something sort of silly and oblique, which is thinking about other characters that I feel like have something in common with the one I'm making the playlist for and looking up songs people have put on playlists for them. I'll also dip my toes into other non-fandom, non-character playlists -- ones that are on topics that feel connected to the character, or even just playlists that are focused on one of the genres I've identified I'm leaning towards. Sometimes I'll even outright google "songs on [x topic]" -- although I will say that's only ever been successful in specific, narrow contexts.

The other thing I'll say about playlists, which is less about finding songs although it does tend to help guide my searching, is that it really helps to brainstorm a vision for it -- What is the playlist about, and what do you want it to sound like? Are you focusing on a specific part of the character's arc, or their whole, completed narrative? Did you pull a lot of a specific genre in your brainstorming phase, or a bunch of different ones -- and are you going for songs that mostly sound similar, or trying to find a way to tie together ones that sound different?

As far as what that actually looks like for me, here's some examples.

When I was working on my Fjord playlist, I knew I wanted to include a decent number of actual shanties/sea songs (which was one area where googling "songs about x" actually served me well; I searched for lists of traditional shanties online and got some solid results). But I also noticed that I'd pulled out a decent bit of rock music. To blend the two I ended up trying to work in music by folk rock artists, like Skipinnish and the Derina Harvey Band, which helped with making the whole thing feel a lot more cohesive.

For my Raine Whispers playlist, I knew I was going to be smashing together a lot of genres. I focused on trying to find songs that felt like they "bridged the gap" (like Kenji Bunch's more modern quartet compositions, folk/protest tunes with prominent strings, and Flobots' modern rock/hip-hop featuring a prominent viola) and also thought a lot about the artists I was putting on it. I listened to a lot of curated playlists of trans and gnc artists, as well as classic protest music ones.

And for a last example, one of my current in-progress playlist projects is working on a Lilith Clawthorne playlist, which since she's a canonically aro/ace character has seen me listening to a lot of people's aspec playlists along with thinking about songs that feel like they complement her character arc, since I'm hoping to weave the two themes together!

I hope some of that is helpful to you! And know that I always love talking playlists and wouldn't mind throwing out song recs from time to time (as long as I have some idea what you're going for)

[welcome-to-green-hills]

Hi Mystery! Is it true that archaeologists can always tell whether a human skeleton was male or female? I ask because I see transphobes saying to trans people, "When archaeologists dig you up, they'll refer to you by your ReAl BiOlOgIcAl SeX, so stop pretending with gender!" I think they're being silly - the trans people I've seen online don't care that much about post-mortem misgendering - but I wanted to consult an actual archaeologist.

Hey there, Darlin’!

Im terribly sorry that this took so long, I was gathering my thoughts and linking my sources to my written response. I’m very happy that you’ve asked this, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to answer a question like this.😈

When it comes to examining human bones at archaeological sites, we look at both the gender and sex of the individual in a grave and/or marker. One can’t really look at a femur, crania, or even a radius alone and go “YeP, tHiS iS dEfInAtEly MaLe.” That’s not how that done. (Unless you know this person first-hand, then we’re consulting law enforcement). We typically find handfuls and a few skeletal remains in a site. It’s rare to find whole ones, but when you do it’s like Christmas for us.

We, as archaeologists, use a technique called “the archaeological eye.” To put simply, this means that we look at everything and create a narrative of what we’ve found. We document everything that we see. This means we look at location, material goods, surrounding flora and fauna (like if they’ve had pets or farmed), architecture, irrigation systems, textiles, and we even look at what position a person may be laying in as well. We look at all this. To say that we only look at a person’s biology to create a person’s profile is ignorant. You cannot create a profile on a person with just their biological sex. We would be lacking in data. This is neglecting cultural, social, and gendered norms.

Hate to break it to some of you—not really, I do enjoy having some individuals irked by me explaining what I do in my possession—transgendered people have existed for hundreds of years. That’s been documented. There’s even been transgendered individuals prior to that with the same elements. They’re referred to as something else, the word “transgender” wasn’t a word until the 20th century. There’s an excellent case study made by Dr. Lauren Talalay (2005) that even discusses transgendered individuals that existed 12,000+ years ago—roughly Neolithic and Bronze Ages—and were identified by their preferred identity (SOURCE). The first legally documented transgender woman was in early 20th century, Lile Elbe (SOURCE). If a pathologist and a forensic anthropologist were to consult one another to documenting Ms. Elbe’s history—both medical and chronological, they would classify her as “Female” or even “M|F” while honoring her pronouns.

It is our job—MY job—to tell Your story and tell who You were in the most unbiased way possible.

The most recent example that I can think of for this post is the Birka Viking Warrior. Quick history lesson; in 1880’s, antiquarians discovered a nearly 1,000-year-old Viking burial site fit with two horses, the warrior’s tools, and the warrior themselves laying on their side and positioned as if they’re running (SOURCE). It was long believed that the warrior was “male” because of the clothes that were worn, their tools, other materials that were buried with them, and their position that they laid in. It wasn’t until recently that a DNA sample showed that they were “Female.” However, this is still controversial because she had a strong male role. She was expected to take on the duties in what would be classified as a “male” in the patriarchal society. I cannot begin to tell you how many debates I’ve heard from both cultural and biological archaeologists over Viking burials when it comes into identification. We have debates and continuously propose open-ended questions because we want to make sure that we are doing everything correct. This was a controversial debate from within the archaeological community for years because we wanted to make sure that we were creating a correct biological portfolio of the Birka Viking Warrior. Lead archaeologist Charlotte Hedenstierna-Johnson, when she was working on the project, left it open enough for us to revisit the case and explore more of if this is the equivalent of a transgendered person, or if what we think that we know of Viking societies is just stereotyped from romanticized beliefs of the Victorian Era.

Now, today’s views are where the fun begins. Forensic anthropologists are heavily trained human identification and how to look at everything. I’m not a forensic anthropologist, I’m an archaeologist, but if you have a good mentor like me, then you’re trained at how to look at people in those terms. You’re trained to look at every nook and cranny presented to you to create a profile of the individual. We see everything. We can tell if you’re left/right dominant, if you had arthritis, previous surgeries, if one was a nail biter, we can tell if you’ve worn a binder, teeth grinder, economic status, social status, cultural status, malnourishment, and many things! We can see all of that… and we can most definitely tell you if you’re cis or if you are transgender/transsexual. And we refer to you in what/how YOU identify as. There are tons of anthropologists that study gender, sex, cultural identification, and LGBTQAI+ communities that challenge the binary quota and roles from back then and for today. They challenge and make others question what we see today and help bring an awareness that we aren’t two genders and sexes.

The whole point of being an anthropologist is that we study humans. We study them in all shapes and forms. We have specific ways of identifying you and specific ways in referring to you. cannot stress to you how important it is that we know this. If we come across remains that went through M|F, F|M, and so forth, we refer to you as your pronouns and how you were presented. I know that not every pronoun might be used, but if we had knowledge of that history then we try our best. I’m not going to deny that there may be some anthropologists that may misgender an individual, but if there is extensive amount of consultation then it is corrected. It’s still You.

You’re not gone, you still have a story that we will tell. We look at everything.

#mystery anon #off topic #I am an anthropologist #I am an archaeologist

[captain-astors]

Hi! Can you do 001 for trigun and 003 shirazu?

1. I am glad to know you’re not a bot for certain at long last because I enjoy consistently spotting you in my notes, also sorry this took so long.

2. ABSOLUTELY?? You have functionally handed me an early christmas present in an ask. I'm going to divide this up into two posts, this’ll be the Trigun one, I’ll do the Shirazu one in a separate post.

Favorite character: 

LEGATO BLUESUMMERS MY DEAREST. Oh this poor man. I can’t even say “I want him to get better” because he would resist it with all his might and I can’t say I want him to get worse because this man is at rock bottom and actively digging deeper. Hugging him is not enough. I need to divide him into atoms, sort them into categories, and hope it gives him relief. I have 99 problems and seeing Legato heal wouldn’t solve a lot of them but it would be great. 

Least Favorite character: 

Difficult question because I really do like them all. Is none an option. I could just go with a random side character who exists just to be scum of the earth but I suppose if I’m looking for “was marginally involved” Stampede Conrad makes me want to hit my head against a wall. 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): 

Mashwood and all its individual parts, the insurance girlfriends, Summerknives? Millionssummers? But for the consequences of feelings more than an actual belief that they have the capacity to be a couple. I saw Zaziemeryl once and that was sweet. Everyone x Therapy. 

Character I find most attractive: 

No idea. Wolfwood? I’m starting to realize there are very few characters I’m actually acutely attracted to aesthetically for long periods of time but I’ve been loving his expressions for as long as he’s existed. Also I’m not sure about attractive per say but Zazie has such splendid gender and I would like them to share. 

Character I would marry: 

Vash. I am not immune to his sopping wet energy and the freakish height. I would like to either carry him in my arms or be carried, either is fine.  

Character I would be best friends with: 

Zazie! Or alternatively I would sell my soul for a hug with Milly. I’d say I could have trans solidarity with Elendira but unfortunately she wants everyone dead and that might cause a lot of awkward conversations.

a random thought: 

I really want to lick stampede knives’ snuggie thing. 

An unpopular opinion: Whenever someone attempts to quantify Legato and Knive’s dynamic as simple pining, mentorship, or even familial, they inherently lop off an intrinsically necessarily quality of that same dynamic which is the fact that Legato does, more than anyone else, see Knives as an actual god. He worships him, and what a terrible thing it is to love your god. Also Roberto was lovely but he did have to die. 

My Canon OTP: 

What canon couples are there? Whatever the ‘98 anime was trying to set up between Wolfwood and Milly was sweet so I suppose that. 

My Non-canon OTP:

Technically it’s half-canon but, Millionsummers, but in a I-want-to-see-the-consequences way.

Most Badass Character: 

Dominique the Cyclops or Elendira the Crimsonnail. 

Most Epic Villain: 

They’re both villains so… see above. 

Pairing I am not a fan of: 

Pl*ntc*st. WHY is it so popular now, YES the subtext has always been there but no one demanded you to make it TEXT.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): 

Elendira deserved more attention in Maximum, she’s so cool. 

Favourite Friendship:

Hmm… Milly and Meryl. 

Character I most identify with: 

Legato. I’m fine, trust me. 

Character I wish I could be:

Zazie! No contest. They’re just living their best life.

Thank you!

#miscellaneous not-art things #zeph answers questions about media/characters/ships #trigun

[shizuostrans]

do you think izaya is transphobic for calling him shizu-chan?

ANON I AM SO SORRY FOR ONLY NOW GETTING TO YOUR MESSAGE AFTER 3000 YEARS. Not so chill events have transpired lately and it's made me scattered enough that I kinda forgot. :X *aheeem*

I should probably clarify that my trans Shizuo theory is not in any way tied to Shizaya but like... what’s presented in canon. Where they explicitly hate each other despite Narita bending so far backward to underline it that their reasonings make very little sense. So I'm going off that, with a heavier emphasis on the novels which paints their relationship in a lot less "playful" way than in the anime.

STILL, I don’t think Izaya would be purposely transphobic. Don’t get me wrong, he says some truly despicable and uncalled for things to Shizuo, like the p*do thing, but I honestly believe Izaya doesn’t know.

He vocally hates knowing shit about Shizuo, and the majority of the time he only wants to know enough to do his business without him interjecting. The other times where he is interested in figuring out what's going on with Shizuo are because he's focused on orchestrating plans to take him down or much less often use Shizuo to his advantage (in spinoffs and their early years anyway). I think it’s pretty common for the fandom to think Izaya knows everything about Shizuo, but that’s not quite true. He knows a good chunk about him from all their time together and keeps tabs on him, sure, but gathering intel to get a leg up on Shizuo isn't the same as getting to know him.

What I mean in this context is that it’s easy for Izaya to pick up on the frailty of Shizuo’s masculinity and even easier to pick at it to get a reaction out of him. On the surface it’s a straightforward answer – Shizuo is a personified brutish male power fantasy and suffers from a deep set case of male fragility. There’s nothing too surprising there or worth looking further into. More importantly it's a weakness of his, and it seems fitting for someone as juvenile as Shizuo to be pissed over something equally juvenile. Their relationship revolves around seeing the worst in each other, and any other reasons why Shizuo could get riled up by being called a girly nickname an old classmate referred to him as aren’t really considered.

The last thing imaginable for Izaya to want to do through the main series is humanize Shizuo (or vice versa) when dehumanizing Shizuo is the very foundation for his hatred. He wants to know what makes him tick, not why it does because there’s little point in figuring out the mentality of a monster. Things like his childhood, his life journey, and his gender identity (moreso if Izaya himself is trans) are all surefire ways to do so. Unless Shinra blabbed about it or he heard it secondhand, it’s not something he would actively dig into or have the desire to? Maybe before he met him, but Shizuo has a knack for stockpiling unbelievable rumors, both credible ones and ones that aren’t. He has a whole thing about not being apprehended because everything he is and does is unbelievable to other people, and that includes Izaya. He didn’t believe most of it either until he witnessed it firsthand.

Shizuo also has a rather uhh effective way of dissuading people from outing him or bringing doubt to their claims by instilling the fear of god into the general populace. With the looming threat of bodily carnage if anyone tests his microscopic tolerance threshold. Naturally. It’s practically in the users’ guide to Ikebukuro, and it tracks that using that infamy to identify himself to keep people from picking fights with him or even looking at him funny doubles as a way to cement it into people’s minds. Of being known as the strongest man in Ikebukuro rather than the previous identity he was known for. He weaponizes his own identity, and it adds another layer to his dependence on violence to solve his problems. ANYWAYS.

Do I think Shizu-chan is a type of deadname for him?

Yes. Insisting someone you have a hostile relationship with call you by the name you want to be called when it hasn't been respected for seven years is pretty much that.

Do I think Izaya calls him that to deadname him?

No. Izaya calls him Shizu-chan because he believes Shizuo’s a monster with a stupidly fragile ego, not because he’s a transguy who’s insecure about how people perceive his masculinity and identity. And boy does that man have the fragilest sense of masculinity that I will 1000% get into in the future.

#shizuo heiwajima #izaya orihara #durarara #drrr #shizuoposting #trans shizuo hours #IF they were on amicable terms and shizuo had an understanding #that embracing femininity doesn't actually emasculate you or invalidate your identity it could be different #ALAS that is what aus are for

[foxdraakkin]

On my gender, theriotype, and sexuality

going to steer slightly into nsf/w topics as well (though this isnt meant to be a horny post its just relevant to identity here)

Recently, I have been identifying primarily as my fox theriotype, sort of lumping together my experiences as a normal fox and as an einfeild (Possibly the same kin life, starting as a normal fox and becoming an einfeild through modification in a lab. im not sure if this is actually true or just a narrative i enjoy to link these two types together).

 Something I have been coming to terms with recently, as a transmasc afab person, is that I think as a fox, I may be female, or a vixen. I could just be like ‘meh’ and say its another assigned sex, like my human body being ‘female’ is, but i dont *physically have* a fox body, and yet it being female is part of my experience, so it is part of my identity.

However, I dont in any way identify as ‘girl’ or a ‘woman’, and I don’t fit in with any human gender roles, especially not as a girl. I may honestly have been just as against being seen as a boy if i was AMAB and forced into a ‘boy’ human gender role as a child, but since it was never forced on me it feels like a safe place to express my gender, and doesnt give me (gender) dysphoria while being seen as a ‘girl’ or ‘woman’ does give me (gender) dysphoria. Though I could be wrong and maybe being AMAB wouldnt have given me that situation, but who knows.

But anyways, it makes sense that even if part of my core identity is ‘female’ i would get gender dysphoria (or mis identified species dysphoria?) about the role i would be forced into as an AFAB human, because the gender roles for a human and for a fox are VERY different. Like for me, one of the primary indicators that I am female is i feel the need to Scream when I am horny, to call for a mate. Female foxes are more likely to stay in one territory, will dig more (to make burrows large enough for kits), are generally more dominant in a group hierarchy but less aggressive at defending territory. Absolutely none of that has anything to do with a human concept of womanhood, and some of it is even directly contradicting to what human women are ‘supposed’ to act like under patriarchy (since they are not ‘supposed’ to be dominate.) Also, pronoun wise, people tend to be more likely, in english at least, to call an animal they dont know the sex of ‘he/him’ than she/her or even it/its. And I did always identify with he/him more in a creature way than in a man way. Like if you see a Creature and you gasp and say ‘look at him go...’

However, there is more to gender than gender roles, and pleanty of people are still women without subscribing to the role human women are given by society. So if I am a ‘girl fox’ does this mean i am a ‘girl’? Do I regret medical transition to be more ‘boy’/’male’?

No, for me at least, there are definatly more aspects to it than the social role of women, and im not ‘detrans’ or regretting any of my medical transition. A big thing for me, is as soon as I went on testosterone, I started to feel better about my gender dysphoria, and my brain felt less terrible over all, so it shows clearly that my horomones were not balanced how they should be. Additionally, top surgery has been awesome for me. One thing I *might* regret is hysto, since sometimes I want to be able to get pregnant and carry my own children. However, that had to happen because I had endometriosis, and was not because I am transgender so I dont want anyone using my experience as an example of trans people regretting surgery or whatever. im not even sure me having babies is a good idea anyways, its just kind of a primal urge i have (which is not a good reason to have children).

And this makes sense when you think about it, even if we want to look at my gender as being entirely vixen and not considering separate gender dysphoria (which is still possible). A female fox is chemically different than a female human, since a human is a species that can get pregnant year round while a fox has heat cycles and can only get pregnant three days a year. This means that most of the year, a female fox horomonally should not have as high estrogen compared to testosterone as a human cis woman. Also interestingly, after having been on testosterone for a while and after having my ovaries removed I went off testosterone and am perfectly happy with my horomones of both levels being low, and having a sort of somewhat feminine and somewhat masculine body and voice. Also, my breasts were the largest source of my physical dysphoria, and large fatty breasts is NOT something a fox ever has, especially one that has never been pregnant. So i am still VERY happy with their removal, even if i do end up identifying as a ‘girl’ in a fox way.

all of this leaves me a little uncertain on how to label myself in the end? If I call myself just a vixen, which is what i WANT to do, it wont communicate what it needs to and people will think I just mean it in the adjective for a woman way and not in literally a female fox way. Anything that has the word ‘female’ in it makes me look terfy or detrans which i dont want, especially terfy or coming off as detrans in a transphobic way. Identifying as a woman or girl would also not really work for me, since the gender cannot be separated from its species context and still make any sense or read properly. I may want something like foxgender, but unsure if I should include something like ‘girl’ in there, since there are usually boy and girl versions of animal genders, but idk if it will be read right as specifically a female fox, and not really identifying with human girl things. ... Though, I also like human girl things? I like dresses and make up, but also I had to transition first before i could enjoy these things, i had to be a boy so I could like them in the context of not being a girl, and could approach them in my own way, and Im wondering if i will lose that and feel dysphoria again if i add any sort of ‘girl’ back into my identity.

I am also thinking about like, my real gender and what gender I present seperately like. what gender will I wear out? lol. Like im not sure if I want to be seen as a girl or not when people are looking at my human body. Sometimes I want to and feel a sort of bad feeling of not being girl enough or like being found out and having transphobic violence done to me if people like find out i had top surgery or something. Idk why im hanging out with transphobic ppl in my mind but idk. I feel like it could happen if i go out and meet new people and dont know all their stuff yet, especially if there is a guy who is attracted to me, he might feel betrayed and get violent if i am not girl enough for him at any point. but i shouldnt let fear of judgement get in the way of how i do my gender, but its hard not to a lot of the time.

I have been dressing more visibly fox like, and im planning to try to convert my whole wardrobe into kin evoking clothes or cool aesthetic stuff like goth or scene. I could just say ‘I am a fox!’ and refuse to answer any questions about gender??

Im not really sure, so sorry for the lack of conclusion, but if any one has thoughts on that or a similar experience, PLEASE let me know!! I want to spark a discussion!

#gender #alterhuman #therian #essay #otherkin essay #foxgender

[jxmieswxnter]

still thinking about Murder in the Dark that I saw last month, and like, yeah this will contain some spoiler so be warned if you read, but like, looking through this through my person trans lens, like, is it just me or do you get like, shitty feelings when a character has a name they identify with and the others just do not use it??

so in the show, Danny Sierra, well, that's a stage name, and his 'real' name is it's called in the show is Nigel Carmichael. and like, everyone but Sarah, his girlfriend/fiancé, calls Nigel - even his son calls him 'Nige' and not dad, which is honestly reflective more of Danny being a deadbeat that his son, though Jake is actively antagonistic to his father and uses Nige as a personal dig

and I'm sure it's my trans brain that gets hung up on this more than maybe some cis folk might, but Danny explicitly states he doesn't want people calling him that. like yes he does give than information up to Mrs Bateman, but that definitely seemed more as a 'hey the audience need to know now why everyone's going to call him Nigel before we get into people calling him Nigel.' Danny explicitly asks and demands multiple times for people not to call him Nigel, and like he's not particularly nice about it especially as the play goes on, but I mean, if I was repeatedly called a name I didn't identify with and actively disliked, I mean, I'd get frustrated

and honestly I could write an entire post, like more than this I mean, about how Danny clings onto the identity he's created as Danny Sierra and how he's clinging to fame and he doesn't know who he is anymore if he's not Danny, but still, the whole things still feels very deadnamey to me

#murder in the dark #tom chambers

[liskantope]

I'm getting pretty irritated at how Freddie deBoer is discussing and handling the issue of large proportions of his comments sections revolving around vaguely anti-LGBTQ views. I'm sympathetic to him in having to deal with the general dilemma of attracting an audience whose views on certain culture war topics tilt in a direction that he finds offensive, or that he doesn't want to have on the face of his blog. (Scott Alexander also had to struggle with this, at least in the earlier Slate Star Codex years.) But I find myself shaking my head at the way FdB is scolding and disciplining his audience about this and right now am inclined to say that it's the wrong approach and that a good bit of FdB's framing is unfair here.

First of all, there's a stigma in general against talking too much about culture war stuff, one which I've internalized myself and struggled with, and in the end I'm not sure the stigma makes sense. Certain topics become culture-warlike in the first place precisely because people care a whole lot about them, because they stoke strong emotions, so why should we be shamed for continuing to care and be emotional about them? I'm tempted to posit that the stigma is a subtly misplaced aversion to getting bogged down in toxic discourse where debaters because of their emotions too often in practice argue in a really low-quality and unconstructive way.

Secondly, FdB himself blogs a ton about culture war stuff! He just avoids certain issues and prefers others. One of the main issues that he's passionate about now is the recent boom in youth mental-illness-happy, diagnosis-happy culture (or at least, that's what he might call it). In his earlier months ranting about this on his blog, a number of commentators chose to take note of some very obvious parallels between what he was pointing out and what appears to be happening with a boom in young people identifying as transgender (note: by "very obvious parallels", I don't mean "absolute parallels" or "without room to rebut by pointing out very salient differences"). Many of the commentators, by being pretty passionately on the side of those issues that is most analogous to FdB's side of the mental illness cultural issue, chose to devolve the comments threads into long discussions about it. FdB decried it as creating an unfriendly environment for trans readers, made vague blanket statements about supporting trans and other LGBTQ rights, ducked addressing the parallels others noted between the opposing views and FdB's views on mental illness stuff, and forbade the topic of transgender youth culture from being discussed going forward.

Commenters mostly stuck to this rule. The comments section of the recent post about drag culture seems to be an unfortunate flagrant exception (you have to dig into the comments a bit, but not terribly far). So I do get why FdB is upset.

But... his characterization of commenters ranting about gender culture war issues -- that they have an unhealthy obsession and would turn any debate about any topic at all however dry into an excuse to rant about gender stuff -- seems way off base to me in multiple ways. First of all, he's angry because commenters started talking about gender stuff in the comments section to a post about the normalization of drag culture which discussed the recent trend of taking kids to drag shows. There is not exactly far for them to reach to get to their favorite topic! And I've never seen them reach from, say, tax cuts for the rich to trans issues (as FdB likes to claim they would when mocking them).

Secondly, I think it's pretty mean to insinuate that they (and conservatives in general, which he lumps them in with, even though my impression is that many of them aren't particularly conservative) are obsessed with gender to the point of it being a mental health problem. His general way of framing it takes only one side's behavior into consideration. You would think that the segment of youth culture in favor of focusing on gender-as-whatever-you-feel-it-to-mean and tons of gender identity labels and so forth is passionate about this in a "proportionate" (to use Freddie's term) way. Has he seen Tumblr? Has he considered the trans activist segment of the current "woke" social movement and its push to incorporate it into our culture? That's a dumb question, of course: he just wrote a post on it, or the part of it having to do with drag shows becoming normalized/sanitized/corporatized -- that is a part of basically said movement promoting trans activism (again, it wasn't exactly a far reach for commenters to jump within it). There is a major subset of the "woke" culture warriors who are visibly passionate about gender issues to the point that the more extreme ones seem obsessive, and there is a major subset of the "anti-woke" culture warriors who are visibly passionate against what they feel are harmful changes the other side is trying to impose to the point that the more extreme ones seem obsessive. (For example, Hasbro bothered to decide and announce that Mr. Potato Head is gender nonbinary, and conservative outlets took the trouble to sneer and whine about it. To me, this is a clear instance of both sides being obsessive. I'm not saying equally in the right -- I'm much more on Hasbro's side here -- just obsessive. I would have to argue that Hasbro has closer to the right idea rather than just point at the Fox News side and say, "Look how freaked out they're getting over a stupid potato toy, lol!".) It's pretty narrow-sighted to point to one side appearing obsessed without realizing that a culture war, or any war really, is about actions and roughly equal reactions happening on both sides.

(Also, more minor point: if you look at individuals in these comments section back-and-forths, rather than considering the comments section as a whole, I find it easy to empathize with them as each simply writing a few long comments thoroughly expounding a point of view, then naturally wanting to respond a couple of times once someone has pushed back on it. Which is... all pretty normal behavior for someone who cares enough and has thought enough about a topic to feel like commenting on it under a blog post and responding to pushback. It doesn't, on the individual level, come across to me as an unrelenting obsession, at least not with most of the commenters?)

I get that FdB wants to be an ally of LGBTQ people and doesn't want his comments sections to turn into a place that might feel hostile to many or most of them. I'd like to feel that my attitude would be similar if I ran a blog like his. I don't know exactly how someone in this position should deal with this, given that a lot of the controversial-among-progressives views he does espouse have, as I've said, pretty obvious parallels to certain other views that run counter to today's LGBTQ-activist model of gender and society. Naturally a lot of his audience is going to make those connections either way (and even some LGBTQ members of his audience might also be unorthodox in their views on some of their community's activist rhetoric and gender views, I'd tend to imagine some would be!).

One thing that occurs to me he could do is ban all comments that he deems unnecessarily aggressive, hostile, sarcastic, sneering towards LGBTQ issues, etc. -- in other words, gross, mean comments. When banning discussion of trans issues, for instance, he cited a commenter calling women's prisons an "all-you-can-rape buffet" for trans women. This comment is really gross, and in a way that's completely unnecessary to the discussion. So ban those comments and the commenters who make them. In other words, follow Scott Alexander's original maxim that SSC comments should satisfy at least two of the qualities of being true, necessary, and kind. The "all-you-can-rape buffet" comment, even if true in the mind of the commenter, very clearly was neither necessary nor kind. Sure there will always be some subjectivity in what "kind" entails, so it's not a perfect system. And ironically, Scott did eventually have to override this criterion for admitting comments and just start banning people who turned every single discussion into an excuse to propagandize neoreaction (remember when that was a thing?). So I don't know.

What I do feel fairly sure about is that FdB is not ultimately doing his cause favors by avoiding addressing what much of his audience sees as parallels between some of his views and the views he's banning on in his comments section. FdB just characterized his views on all LGBTQ issues and the current standard progressive ones as having no daylight between them. Yet, for instance, when asked about teenagers being put on gender-related medical treatments, he says things like he has to be agnostic because he doesn't know enough about that type of medicine, reversibility, etc. Which, fine, I'm basically agnostic too, for similar reasons. But he can't with a sweep of his hand declare himself completely in line with today's progressive Left on gender stuff (while being extremely critical of that same subculture on other, not entirely unrelated, things) and keep being vague when pressed on what he actually thinks about the gender stuff, without coming across as disingenuous. His occasional repeated proclamations of "I'm completely supportive of all transgender and queer activist issues [with a few extremely vague embellishments and minor qualifications]" in place of engaging in a discussion about why, say, his views on the social contagion aspect of the youth's mental illness culture do not imply an analogous criticism of the subculture focused on gender identity, honestly makes it appear that he is hiding something about his true views. In fact, it looks a lot like FdB doesn't feel like dealing with the backlash that would come his way if he fully exposed what his true views are.

Or to put it another way, I would like to see FdB actually address the reasons why young people over-diagnosing themselves with mental illnesses is distinct in a salient way from the boom among young people in identifying as transgender. Presumably he thinks such a rebuttal to the alleged parallels exists, so why does he appear to be strenuously ducking the question? I'm genuinely curious as to how he really makes these distinctions. And who knows, maybe whatever arguments he could put forth would nudge some of his more devoted readers into being more pro-trans-rights!

Instead, it really sort of comes across that ironically, the man who recently wrote "Be Independent -- No, Not Like That!", who happily embraces one side of the political spectrum while strenuously criticizing much of the rhetoric/narrative that comes out of the associated tribe and even celebrates his intellectual right to do this, is also someone who shuts down his commenters from strenuously criticizing a different strain of the rhetoric/narrative that comes from that tribe because, you see, he disagrees with and is offended by that other form of criticism. ("Be critical of today's progressive culture even if you're otherwise progressive yourself -- no, not like that!")

Uncharitable, I know, and looking at it another way I want to see FdB as just someone who likes the LGBTQ community and is simply concerned about not alienating it. Gaah.

#freddie deboer #culture war #transgender issues #drag culture #mr potato head #lgbtqa issues #slate star codex #transphobia cw #nrx #mental illness awareness culture #comments sections

[facesofone]

As an alter recently diagnosed osdd1b system I'm starting to dig deeper into what my gender might be because I've never quite been sure and I was wondering if Kyra could share some of her experiences with being a different gender than the body? If not thats ok, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, thanks for reading this ask anyway.

Hey! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you on this, been in the process of moving so things have been a little hectic. But yeah I can share some things.

*Just a warning there's a dark part, I mark with a trigger warning before and after the passage.

Well I would have to say my gender identity formed in first grade, my parents were pretty lax on gender rules and just let me be myself, but in elementary school I was met with more rigid standards. I saw girls playing and I wanted to join them, no thought to "I am a girl and that's where girls play" just that that was where I felt I belonged. When I got over there though, since the body was male, I was met with disgust as that was the age when boys had cooties. Ian was confused but I was hurt. I was basically told I didn't belong because of how I looked. When Ian went to go play with the boys they also treated me with disdain because I didn't understand their rules either. Elementary school was a rough time for us.

In highschool I was mostly pushed to the back by Jak, though he couldn't rid me entirely. I was able to produce enough feminine energy to have several close friends who were girls (even my best friend) which made me happy because for brief moments out of the day I could feel like something was mine. He enjoyed this because it meant he could talk to more girls, but he hated the way his thoughts went during it. He had a lot of gender confusion as he was very secure in his own identity, except for the series of contradictory thoughts that I produced.

When I finally got my turn to take full control of the body, I was able to explore my own identity and thusly identified as trans. It was hard to reconcile the fact that Jak was an alter so instead I chose to view him as the side of me that was holding me back from being myself. It was probably pretty obvious that wasn't the case considering he stuck around and complained the whole time, but I just wasn't in the right headspace to realize that yet.

[TRIGGER WARNING: Trans violence]

Fast forward a few years and we are mostly aware of ourselves as a system, and still presenting female. I was very cautious and aware of myself while in the city, and felt very proud to be myself. However I got attacked because of it, twice (the second time worse than the first, but in both I was lucky enough to be able to get away) and no longer felt safe.

[END TRIGGER WARNING]

So I decided to stop presenting myself in female attire and go back to the drab male clothes that let me blend back in. During this time I had a lot of turmoil, I felt that I was somehow betraying or abandoning my identity, but I realized I was only gatekeeping myself. My clothes didn't define my identity, and no matter what I was wearing I know who I am. We dress in jeans and a t-shirt, and have a beard so most people on the street will automatically assume male. This used to sadden me, but the people who are close to me, and really know me, recognize me when I am fronting and treat me as I want to be treated; so in the end I found a place to be happy with my gender.

Gender identity is confusing and can be twice as confusing as a system. I used to identify as a transwoman solely because of the AMAB/female identity dynamic, but I have come to realize I actually identify more as a cis woman (because that's what I am in the system) who just happens to be an alter in an AMAB body.

But that's just my own understanding of my own gender, and is just one of many ways people can interpret their own. I definitely encourage you to do your own self-discovery and see what fits you best. Hope this helped!

-Kyra

#tw #trigger warning #tw trans violence #trans violence #gender #gender identity #system #alter

[piqued-curiosity]

The problem people had with what ms-revived-frogs did was not that she called out bi women doing a bad thing and people accused her of biphobia. She is misrepresenting the situation completely. It was that she saw a post that was literally just a singular man with a disgusting fantasy, blamed bi women for it out of absolutely nowhere (or at least implied it was our responsibility to “do better” to prevent this shit or something) and then when people asked wtf she was blaming bi women for, she pulls up screenshots of other posts where men larp as women and have rape fantasies about lesbians. And then blames that on bi women AGAIN because she’s not able to figure out the fact that every single one of those screenshots was made by a transwoman pretending to be a bi woman (despite it being VERY obvious). And she’s twisted the entire situation into “you disgusting bi women are EXCUSING this behaviour” or some shit, pretending we’re getting het up over nothing when all people did was go “hey, what the hell are you blaming this on us for?”

And then she goes “well I’m bi so it’s fine. I can say whatever heinous shit I want about bi women”. Honestly sometimes radblr still surprises me. “Bi women getting blamed for trans identified males having rape fantasies about lesbians” wasn’t on my bingo card but I should’ve expected it. And ms-revived-frogs is just doubling down instead of saying sorry and seems to be saying there’s some sort of underground community of bi women having these rape fantasies??? Based on those posts that were written by men???

Honestly I don’t understand why people I thought were sensible are indulging this. Sometimes you have to go “look I respect you but shut the fuck up and take the L”. Her desperately digging a hole trying to make herself out as this righteous advocate for lesbians calling out an injustice against the evil bi lesbian haters is so fucking embarrassing. Literally none of the stuff she’s talking about was ANYTHING TO DO WITH BI WOMEN. Except for us also being part of this man’s disgusting fantasy.

First I will say that all I saw was her reblog of the OP, and the post I recently reblogged from her. I haven’t seen her screenshots and whatnot.

I agree that her comment on that particular post was misplaced. It wasn’t a bi woman’s post, it was an OSA man’s. So making that particular post about bi women is incorrect. And I believe I acknowledged this when I responded to her post.

What I meant after that, is not that I don’t think bi women should be upset for being blamed for the actions of men. I’m saying that as far as I can tell from my brief dive into this kink or community or whatever you want to call it, it’s not exclusively men. I could be wrong about that! I can’t tell people’s sex just from a brief glance at a blog that I’m viewing quick enough to see if it needs to be reported without making myself sick by seeing the content in full. But I seem to remember finding women running these blogs, and I’m not going to pretend that women are incapable of being disgusting. And if there’s women participating in this, which I’m sure there are, they’re likely bisexual if they experience SSA that leads them to calling themselves lesbians, but also experience OSA that leads them to be turned on by men. Again, I could be wrong. But I don’t think many things like this are 100% exclusive to one sex.

Your implication that lesbians are paranoid and delusional and just hating on bi women by making things up is what I was talking about. It seems to be a running trend that any time a woman, specifically a lesbian but sometimes bi women like ms-revived-frogs who defend lesbians, says “hey bi women can and do contribute to homophobia”, everyone comes out of the woodworks to tell us how mean and crazy we are and we’re just making things up. That’s what I mean by bi women taking criticism badly. I am not talking about bi women rightfully defending themselves from false accusations, I am talking about this constant idea I see that no bi woman has ever been disgustingly homophobic towards lesbians.

So essentially, what I was trying to say, is that the comment on that post was not appropriate. But the responses to it strike me as being upset not only at the context of that comment, but also at the idea that bi women can and do hurt lesbians (though I am willing to admit that I could be biased because of my experience with how bi people respond to any criticisms of homophobia in the bi community). What I was saying was that if ms-revived-frogs had said the same thing on a post by a bi woman, I’m not sure that she’d have received 100% positive feedback. Because people seem to be denying that bi women participate in this at all, and from what I’ve seen they do participate in it. Again, I could be wrong. It’s entirely possible that I’m reading the responses wrong, and/or that the blogs I saw were TIMs and they just didn’t mention it.

Tl;dr:

The “bi women do better” on a post by a man was wrong. Bi women have every right to be upset by being blamed for a man’s actions. At the same time, I recall seeing women participating in this kink, and what bothers me about the responses to that comment is what I am interpreting as the implication that this community is 100% TIM, instead of acknowledging that bi women do participate in these sorts of things that harm lesbians. Because of this, I just wonder if there would still be backlash even if the comment was made on a bi woman’s post.

#asks #anon

[izukuwus]

Tl:dr; we cannot define humanity and because of that we cannot define any particular gender in a way that suits all humans. All we can do is try to understand one another.

So like, here's the thing, re: transphobia and transness. Philosophical bullshit below, I'll keep it as understandable as I can. If you're trans, worth a read. If you're not trans, even more worth a read. if you're transphobic, please try to read with a learning mentality and not the knee-jerk "this person doesn't agree with me and therefore they are necessarily wrong" mentality. I will try to understand alternate points of view presented, but I do not engage in bad-faith arguments, and for the sake of mental health, I'm not debating the validity of my continued existence with anyone. I will, however, engage if I can tell that you actually want to come to an understanding with me, rather than wanting to get into an internet slapfight.

I've studied for years. Time and time again my school forced me to take philosophy classes, and I gave them my best shot. (As a result, I have a lot of heated opinions about philosophy and would give ARISTOTLE a [gun]shot if ever given the chance.) My final one was technology-focused and delved heavily into AI, but the core the course surrounded was this: we do not, as a society of humans, know what it means to be human. What is humanity? We can say, at the base level, that a human is someone of the species Homo sapiens, but even when you delve into that, "human" can mean any species within the genus "homo", and digging for less than five minutes leads you to the scientific squabbling over the delineation of human subspecies. Scientifically, we aren't sure what a human is, and anyway, we're talking about what it means to be human, NOT what "being human" means.

This is what I mean: for months on end, we debated, we read, we spoke our opinions, and what we learned was that at the very core of humanity is... something. We cannot define the uniqueness of humanity by intelligence or tool usage, because there are remarkably unintelligent humans and there are many species that use tools, and if it IS that, then some would wholeheartedly argue that that means very young children are not human, or at least not yet. It's not dexterity with the hands, as there are plenty of species of ape and chimp that match us or have us beat. Communication is present in all species in different ways--while previously it's been thought that only humans have verbal communication, it's much more likely that we can only decipher our own communication, and in many species we've identified communication of specific sounds between members of the species to say things like "here comes the short one in yellow" to refer to specific researchers, and what is that, if not verbal communication? Only we are truly capable of our own speech (although parrots come extraordinarily close), and only every other species is capable of their particular methods of communication in a way that is true. You cannot define humanity in a way that anyone will agree on, and you cannot define it in a way that cannot be contradicted.

All of this to say: Gender is, at its core, a human trait. One of the only uniquely human ones. Animals have genetically-determined sexes, ones which we as humans neurotically try to force into our binary understanding of "male" and "female" even when there's actually much more, but the self-sense of male-ness or female-ness or both-ness or none-ness or something-else-entirely-ness is not present or expressible in non-human things. When we speak of gender, we speak of that internal sense of self and the internalized idea of what one should look like, were the world ideal. The idea of "I am a man" or "I am a woman" or any other variant therein becomes part of the core of humanity itself, and becomes validated in a large part by the unique methods of communications that only humans are truly able to utilize to its fullest potential. In other words, to define the concepts of "man" and "woman" and "agender" and "bigender" and all other sorts of genders is, at our current levels, impossible. We can only really define what it means for us in particular to be the gender that we are--it is something localized in the brain, as we all are, and the task of truly communicating the direct thoughts in our brain is a painful and ultimately impossible process. The differences in how each of us think, how we encode ideas, and how we decode ideas communicated to us, means everything is always translated, and not always well. Even if you perfectly encoded what you wanted to say, someone else may decode it the wrong way--we translate from the concepts in our head to a shared language, then the other person translates it from that shared language into the concept in their head.

That being said. Gender being fully unique to the human experience means that it isn't something universally definable, because being a specific gender is being human, and being human is something that centuries of thought have been unable to define, and being human is something that can maybe be defined for a particular point in time and a particular situation, but fast forward a second, a day, a year, a decade, and it breaks down. Gender, is, fundamentally, the same: a nebulous concept, really only applicable by tricks of the light, and certainly not universally applicable. To attempt to define it for other people is a fool's errand at best: all we can do is guess. We can attempt to read markers that imply one gender or another, but the truth is, if "man" doesn't mean "suit" for that person and "woman" doesn't mean "curves" or "dresses" or "pregnancy" or any of the traditional concepts of femininity, then we can read wrong.

Gender, like humanity itself, is undefinable. All you can do is listen, and try to understand. You never will and I never will, and that has nothing to do with cis-ness or trans-ness or in-between-ness. It's simply human nature.

#distant citrus sounds #long post #gender #transgender #philosophy #it's a cold day in hell if I'm using that tag but #I think I communicated my point okay #i feel like gender theory is a good tag but I'm also scared it's been co-opted by the wrong people tbh

[butch-reidentified]

Hi, i want to go to med school but i'm kind of worried about trans beliefs basically being forced upon me and me being in a position where i can't disagree without getting into trouble. i don't want to be a "medical doctor" btw, i want to be a medical examiner (or as my cousin so eloquently says, a dead people doctor)

This is a really legitimate concern imho, and a part of why I jumped ship from working in mental health. Though I worked in addiction and did not have trans-related topics come up in my patient demographic, I definitely had to do a lot of playing along with coworkers' conversations about these matters, as I got along closely with them and considered them good friends. One of them had an 11 year old daughter identifying as some complicated form of nonbinary and using ghost/ghostself pronouns. Really sweet kid, and obviously going through some stuff, but a bit concerning that the mother works in mental health yet isn't digging deeper into why her kid might be feeling this way 😕

If you really want to go to med school, don't let TRAs be the thing that keeps you from your dream, please! It takes courage, for sure, but I believe in you. Pursue your dreams and stand your ground on your beliefs 💙 Easier said than done, I know, but I'm always here if you need someone to talk to

#ask #mine #radblr

[mostlylemonbased]

Reticence

I don't intend to make this space all my angst ridden nonsense, but hey, this is the first thing I've put up on my own blog in a bit, so I thought I'd crosspost it here. Because hey, why not.

One of the things that's happened over the past year is that I've had a bit of a reexamination of my transition. This was undoubtedly prompted by reading The Sisters of Dorley. There's actually a wonderful circularity to this for reasons I'm not going to explain right now. And I honestly don't think it'd've happened, certainly not soon, without it. The book deals with transition, it deals with examining and dealing with trauma. It deals with the importance of community. It slices in various places exactingly, directly, and disturbingly to some of the trauma that I experienced. And it, from discussions with a bunch of other trans people -- trans people who have been transitioned and to whatever extent it's ever possible, finished with their transition (or so they thought) -- does tend to prompt you to reexamine yourself. Deeply. I am not alone in this.

I'm sure there are other effective ways to get you to dig down and reexamine yourself. To explore yourself and the decisions you made. And perhaps more importantly, explore the decisions you didn't really make. The decisions which just happened, that got left in the dust of moving on with life. And obviously, for me, a lot of that centered around the trauma of the abusive relationship I was in immediately after transition. It's something that kind of horrifies me. That I was desperate for people in my life I could identify with, people who I could talk to about what was going on, and this person took that situation and took advantage. And I've talked (either on here, or on mastodon) about the gradual realisation that, well, I am certain that I passed on impacts of that abuse.

No doubt some of it was reflected in the support group I took over from her and ran. I think that the best thing I've been told is that I wasn't intending to be harmful, that my approach to things came from a good place. But I know and I am deeply uncomfortable with the fact that I reinforced ideas that she promulgated. And I hope that the damaging things I did are outweighed by the good. Looking back I know I had a lot of internalised transphobia which I'm not sure to what extent that came out in the group. But it was always intended to be young(er) trans people supporting other young(er) trans people, so there's always going to be a chunk of the baby trans working themselves out in that kind of space. And while I've reexamined that, without digging into the backups of old, old computers -- computers that have long been consigned to e-waste -- there's no easy way to look through the group - and frankly - I don't think that me digging through hundreds of e-mails from myself and the other folks on the list would be positive or productive. Interesting, perhaps, as a snapshot of early aughts transition. Painful -- seeing those lost along the way. But probably not helpful.

But where I've been really digging and working is on the things that my ex buried in me. The ideas she encouraged in me that I never really rexamined. About my presentation. About how trans people should be. About all sorts of tiny fractional pieces of me. And look, some of it's fine. Some of it I think is fair - I don't think that I should have to adhere to traditional standards of women's beauty, because I don't think any women should have to do that. And if I want to slob about it jeans and a teeshirt, that's fine. If I want to wear that every fucking day, that's fine too. But that she stopped me exploring my presentation, that she stopped me fucking about with clothes, that I accepted that being kinda androgynous would be safer, and less obvious -- and that she planted and fertilized those seeds that meant I never really explored further with makeup and clothes than I had at the point where I met her.

That she nudged, pushed, encouraged, enforced, whatevered me back towards the presentation I'd had before I transitioned. A kind of androgynous but female coded. The easiest path, the one that didn't really involve work? And that I accepted that and didn't go back to reexamine that, or look at it as I moved forward with my life? That's a disappointment to me. Because it turns out I do enjoy makeup. I do enjoy fun clothes. And that was obvious from the fact I clung limpet like to the purple slinky fucking party dress that's one of the first pieces of clothes I bought for myself. And some of that is that I've lost weight - I've held steady at 66.7 kg for the past - oh, while. I bumped up by a kilo around Xmas and straight back down afterwards (damn mince pies and Xmas pudding) - and that's made me much more comfortable with my body. And some of that is that I'm probably fitter now than at any point in my life so far.

And look, it's not a case of assigning blame or fault. She had mental health issues and separating what was abuse from her mental health issues has always been tricky for me. Especially since they were undiagnosed for most of our time together. And I was young and new and shiny and impressionable and desperate for approval. And, fuck, it took me until sometime in the last two years to really grok that I am a survivor of domestic violence. That I'm a survivor of a deeply abusive relationship. And that that's coloured who I am, and how I respond to things, particularly layered on top of the bullying I had at school. Basically there's a solid decade of the time I've been on this planet, near a quarter of it, where I was in abusive places. And this isn't an oh poor me, woe is me.

This is a fucking celebration of the fact that nearly 24 years after I transitioned I am getting to explore myself again. I'm getting reexamine some of the foundational stuff about how I present, how I think of myself in relation to others, and getting to play with who I am.

And that's been really freeing.

#angst #transgender