#do i even know how to be honest anymore. no i dont think of killing myself but i dont see a future for myself either | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yanderecandystore · 9 months

Note

Angst ᐛ. So imagine y/n is fully aware of what the beldam is about. I'm talking from the very begining but kept coming back since they felt so alone. And at some point y/n just walks in, plots their head in the beldam's chest, tearing up after a particularly bad day and is just like. "You know, I know what youre gonna ask... About the buttons. I know its just a way to eat me. But to be honest just hearing yoinsay 'i care about you' is making me consider the offer. Pathetic right?" Would the beldam make it a quick kill or would he not want to eat them anymore? Of course if you dont feel comfortable writing this thats fine too.

The reason why I always take too long to write anything about Male Beldam/Belsire, is because I always fear making something that people won't like especially since it's my most liked story-

But after rereading the story I realized it really isn't all that good X'D I feel like it could have been a lot better if I had put more time into it.

I'm sorry for taking so long to write this, but I really don't want to leave you guys hanging especially since I do really like the idea of a "twisted" ending sort of thing. Thank you for requesting this!

It's very short, but I hope I can talk more about it because I do wonder how Y/n will deal with this new life.

TW/Tags: Mentions of: Gore; death // Arachnophobia Warning // Scotomaphobia Warning (Reader is now blind) // Manipulation // Human flesh consumption (not from the Reader) // this is very short sorry // not proofread lmao (headaches) // Reader is very unresponsive to the things that happen around them.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

A peek at the keyhole [Yandere!Belsire x GN!Reader - A short Oneshot]

It was during dinner that you decided to seal the deal, he was acting strange… He was starving and you were sure of it. Which was funny because you never saw him eat, now that you think about it.

He doesn't understand where you got that knowledge of how he behaves or of what he consumes- Maybe it was just a lucky guess based on his desperate need to keep you "unaware", always giving a poorly disguised lie about himself.

Who was he? What was he? What did he want? He was your best friend, silly. He was your other friend, and all he wanted was to be with you.

Lies, lies, half truths. He was simply too shady for his own benefit, too obvious for his own good.

Or perhaps he really liked this back and forth between you two, after all- What proof did you have of anything? You couldn't trust his words, yes, but what else did you have to go with?

Just that sinking feeling in your stomach whenever he was near you, whenever he tapped his fingers impatiently because you were just oh so curious about him!

It was adorable, really. Infuriatingly adorable.

Because it didn't matter how much you knew about him, or his "real intentions" with you- You always came back for more. His words of reassurance coated with thick honey and distributed with a soft, calm tone of voice that was just as patronizing as it was endearing.

Treating you like royalty every time you came around and yet always keeping you at arm's length when it came to learning more about him, but did any of that even matter?

You were being taken care of, wasn't that enough? You had friends with you, an adoring handsome fella that wasn't shy at all about treating you more than a friend, if you wanted him to. There was clear favoritism and although common sense would have told you it was a massive red flag, you couldn't deny it was quite refreshing to be regarded with so much love.

The fun will never end, he said. It could go for as long as you wanted, forever even if you agreed to stay with just a little, tiny condition.

He didn't have to explain it in detail for you to instantly agree with him, you cling to him already aware of what your fate would be. A bad day was all he needed for you to accept it in a heartbeat? He could have done this a lot sooner than.

It was just you and him, standing in the kitchen as you hugged him, burying yourself in both a need for contact but also out of embarrassment- Shame of throwing yourself away to the unknown without second thought.

It took him by surprise at first, although not ideal he still met his goal sooner than he expected- Only a couple of nights spent with him and his creations, with only a few fabulous events in between.

Of course he couldn't go TOO wild with his attractions, after all you didn't need a spectacular show to be lured in, you just wanted to be heard and included.

" … Oh dear… Pathetic? Why? There's no reason to feel this way, you made the right choice… "

He wanted to still reassure you of your actions, but it was hard hiding the eagerness in his voice.

He held you tightly, cooing you gently despite your unisseanes and uncertainty.

It was mostly so you wouldn't see the illusion breaking, so you wouldn't hear the sounds of your other friends turning into dust… He simply couldn't keep them for much longer, and now he didn't need to.

It's a shame they couldn't warn you of your mistake sooner, it's a shame that everything he creates reflects his adoration to the people he lures in. If only they could warn you to not let him do this, that it wasn't really worth it.

" Come… It'll be quick, don't worry. " He led you with his hands, which were feeling colder by the minute, sharper than before. Thinner than before.

The lights of the house were starting to lower if not fully turn off behind you as you only focused on following him to his little workshop. You felt the stairs lose their solidity after lifting your feet, each step turning from wood to web quickly.

You were actively following him to your doom, you knew that, and as much as you wanted to you couldn't run away now.

He opened the door to the attic, the only thing that seemed intact in this empty and dark place- It was as if the house was starting to disappear the higher he went, and as you followed him there was no need to keep the rest of the house.

He was trying to be economical here, too many things to keep magically attached and realistic all the time- With no break for lunch.

The attic was the only thing that seemed actually real for you, stepping inside you felt the old floor creek. It was old, moldy, but somehow always well kept, as it was one of the only real things in this void he took care of.

It was his favorite place in the house.

" You can go sit on that chair over there, but if you would like to choose I have a great variety of colors and types for you to pick. " The voice that held warmth and youth to it was also disappearing and being replaced with a dry throat, a rougher tone and a lack of discernible emotion behind it.

You could only tell there was impatience by the constant tapping of his fingernails on his board as he showed you all the possible options.

Classic black like his? Baby blue? Chartreuse?? His constant tapping made you feel like a ticking clock taunting you to pick a color already-

You just pointed to the one color you liked most, hey, who wouldn't want to have their favorite color as their eye color? Although, it wasn't really eyes. Just buttons.

He hummed while giving you a soft smile.

" I'm glad you made a choice for me, I would have been too indecisive. Ah, but they're perfect for you..! You're going to make me so jealous, doll.." It was a joke, or maybe a compliment. It was hard to tell if his monotonous voice was out due to boredom, anger or was his voice like this in general.

Well, he didn't seem mad?? It was hard to understand him and to be honest you were getting very nervous. You sat down in the tall chair, its pastel colors did little to nothing to calm you down. Was this really a good idea?

" Are you ready?... It'll be quick I promise… Although… "

He grabbed your face, trying to be gentle as he inspected your panicking eyes.

You didn't understand what was going inside his head, you couldn't tell what he was planning to do and you weren't sure if his touch was starting to freak you out or sooth you.

" … It'll be fine. I'll make sure of it." He sighed before kissing your forehead, so you wouldn't forget he cared about you.

It was agonizing.

You don't know for how long you stayed out, but you remember your brain blacking out after he sewed the first one in.

You're not sure how you even survived through him stabbing your eyes with a needle- Hell, were you even alive at all?! You couldn't see anything, so either he successfully closed your eyes or you were dead.

No, you probably weren't dead yet, your headache just as bad as your entire face- Raising your hand slowly to touch your face you could feel your eyes covered by thick cloth, it was slightly wet.

Slightly touching and pushing like that caused you to feel immense pain, you immediately stopped- It was still fresh so of course it would hurt like hell.

You were sure that you felt the shape of the buttons underneath the cloth, however.

Your ears buzzed as you tried to regain some of your strength, as you tried to get out from your torture chair you forgot how tall it was- Missing a step and crashing down to the old attic floor with no one to help you.

Falling sure felt like falling! The floor sure felt like a crusty old floor! Yep, you weren't dead.

Your head was aching so badly you weren't sure if what you heard was real or not, but you were sure you heard some commotion coming from downstairs.

It was loud enough to muffle your little accident.

The voices below were followed by painful screaming that lasted for a few minutes after complete silence. A chilling sensation settled in as you started to wonder if the screams you heard felt familiar to you in any way.

You carefully started to get up, slowly you started to consider if you should go back to the tall chair or just make a run for it- But to where? You couldn't see anything!!

You considered taking the cloth off- But you didn't want to feel the pain that came from it. You needed to let it heal after all. Though, you doubted that you would be able to see anything with freaking BUTTONS in your eyes!!

Was it too late to regret your decision? It seemed like it.

You walked around trying to feel your way, where was the door again? You were sure you were on the right track… Your hand went from old wood to a nice clean carpet- Wait- Wasn't the house entirely destroyed? Shouldn't it be a spider web here?

Or, well, everywhere?

The fur of the carpet fooled you as you felt your hand squeeze something very soft that squeaked and scurried away from you. A rat.

" I'm sorry!- " You whispered to him, but he didn't appreciate your attempt at escaping, he squealed as he ran down stairs alerting his owner that you were awake.

Well, shit.

You would have screamed if you were able to see the heavy thing that came up the stairs in such a hurry, it didn't help that although you couldn't see him, the sound of metal hitting the walls and the floor made you highly concerned.

What the fuck was that-

" You shouldn't have left the room without telling me. " The same monotonous voice, although he didn't sound so exhausted like he did before- Not as hungry, you assumed.

" Come, let me help you. " You could hear him approach, as if he was wearing high heels it was hard to not hear him coming closer.

And you couldn't help but feel like distancing yourself further, his boney fingers didn't help you feel any more relaxed- They were sharp and cold, it felt like pure needles taking your hand and pulling you up.

" You need to rest for a little longer, doll. But you can't heal with an empty stomach right? " He guided you with his hand, you felt sick at the mention of food.

He helped you get down the stairs by holding you bride style, and you almost cried at the sensation of his hard and cold skin, you trembled at how those same needles would gently squeeze your skin-

One wrong move and they would tear your skin apart.

He helped you sit in a chair, you assumed you were at the kitchen's table by now.

Was this your end…? Was he really going to do this now??

…. No. He was just cooking something, presumably for you. It smelled of omelets and orange juice, it was simple but it was a very nice scent.

This kitchen reeked of blood, however. Instinctively you took your hands to cover your nose, and probably your mouth as well since you weren't sure if shouting would be a good idea right now. He hates loud noises.

" Don't worry about it, it was just a pesky guest who didn't take no for an answer! I'm sorry for the mess. I'll clean it up after you eat. " A more upbeat and sweet voice, the same one you were more accustomed with. Reassurance and comfort all tied with a smile you were more familiar with.

Approaching you with a plate in hand, and a juice glass in the other.

" Don't worry, I didn't put any of the nasty stuff for you. Just eggs and lots of love. The spoiled food is for me. " He kissed you on the cheek, it felt like being touched by porcelain.

He handed you the fork, but you weren't sure if you wanted to find out if he kept his word or not.

He killed someone here, didn't he? Those noises you heard when you were up in the attic plus the smell of iron coating every inch of this kitchen sure weren't just coincidence. He… He wouldn't force you to eat someone, would he?

Who was it?... Who was it..?!

Was he referring to the person as "spoiled food"?

" Doll. I told you to not worry. There's no meat on your plate, I'm a bit selfish when it comes to sharing food. I'm sorry but there's nothing left of them for you, if I knew you wanted to try I wouldn't have been so careless- "

" N-No, it's… It's fine! I'm just… I can't really see anything…" You tried to not sound as terrified of him as you were, heaven knows you shouldn't feed any monster your own fear, it's what they live on.

" …. Aw… You're blind, I'm so sorry! I forgot about that. " He started to laugh as he slapped his forehead about forgetting something so crucial, silly him!

You weren't sure if he was being honest about forgetting that, but you sure as hell knew by the way he snatched the fork from your hand and how he seemed to drag his chair closer to you that he was probably very excited to do this.

" Say, ah~! " You knew he was having fun when he pinched your cheek to make you open your mouth.

Well, yep, those were just eggs. I mean it was a very tasty omelet but that was it, the orange juice didn't taste any different. Probably a little too sweet, but that's it.

It was probably due to the pain you were feeling in the front of your entire face that made you very much NOT interested in eating, or maybe it was the dripping sound and the smell of blood. The thought that somehow you were sitting possibly next to a murder scene, and/or a body, and the murderer was feeding you, made you very unease.

" Try to not think too much about it, it's just the way things will be for now… Isn't it so much better this way too? We will be able to spend so much time together and I just need you to stay in the attic whenever we have "guests" over. Do you understand me? "

" With just a little bit of magic I'm about to make the house more comfortable for you, to cook you meals endlessly and I can even make you a few more outfits. I'll be sure to make the house more appropriate for a human like you. "

He petted your head after you finished the plate, kissing your forehead and letting the dishes in the sink.

" Now, let me help you get up, we'll need to give you a bath and put you in more comfortable clothes, and then we can lay down. I'm sure you're still very tired after our little surgery. "

He helped you get up and walked you towards the bathroom… You couldn't help but feel worried about what you were doing.

Wasn't this all you ever wanted? To be adored by someone who treats you so well? Didn't you feel glad you accepted his offer?

Were you a bad person for wanting this?

Well, you didn't want THIS as in- Him eating people- All you wanted was to be with him for longer…

Why did you feel really scared whenever he touched with the same gentleness but none of the softness his skin used to have? You knew running wouldn't be a good idea since you couldn't see anything, and you didn't know the layout of the house well enough to memorize where the little door was...

Right?

" You're so stiff, my love! Are you scared of walking around your own house? I promise I kept everything intact, it's my house as well you know… And besides I'll always be here to guide you while you still recover. " You felt him nuzzle his hand against your neck, cold, hard. You wondered how much he changed now that he didn't need to pretend to look a certain way for you.

Maybe it was best to not know.

" … You're so silent right now, it almost feels like I have been running my mouth for hours! I didn't know you were such a silent type. " He teased, while kissing the back of your neck gently.

It was probably your lack of spatial awareness, but he somehow seemed a lot taller- As if it took some effort to lower himself down just to kiss you.

" My head… it hurts so much.."

" Aw, I know, love, I know. It'll take a while for you to feel better but it'll be so worth it… I'll help you learn new things, like how to feel the vibrations in my web, it'll help you "see" better. Or how to read braille, or how to walk around the house carefully, or how to tell someone is planning on running away during a conversation. "

He poked the sides of your stomach, an action that was supposed to be just couple's teasing but was actually quite terrifying and painful considering how sharp his fingers were.

" You couldn't be any less obvious love. I'm sorry if I scared you, I couldn't resist. " And yet he didn't sound irritated or annoyed, it could be that he was just pretending to not care… But he sounded more amused than anything.

" I'm just teasing you, doll! Come on, don't look like that, I'm just in a good mood! You know I can't stay annoyed at you. Let's hurry up and get you cleaned, alright? "

As he carefully started to shove you inside the bathroom you wondered if he didn't mess with something in your head alongside your eyes.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere male #yandere x reader #yandere coraline au #yandere beldam #yandere male beldam #gn!reader #special delivery request #special delivery oneshot

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yellowroseswrites · 10 months

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Hi, I was wondering if you could write a fic about Spencer Reid x sh/ed reader. The reader is very insecure because she feels like she used to be smart but isn't anymore and maybe after failing a case she starts harming herself again.

I was also wondering if you could include

that she wears a watch all the time

that she tends to cut small cuts on her fingers because she can blame them on other things and often digs her nails into them when anxious

has a good relationship with family so she feels her actions are unjustified

Spencer and reader are friends but shes always thought of him as more

I totally understand if this isn't possible and thank you.

"I want to help you carry it."

Spencer Reid x Sh!BAU!Reader

Author's notes- [ “has a good relationship with her family so she feels her actions are unjustified’ called me out personally and i need emotional compensation /j. Sorry these pieces have taken so long, a lot of my requests have been sh related and i wasn’t in the right headspace until recently, i hope you understand and i hope you enjoy this piece <3 also this is taken quite far from the prompt, so i’m sorry about that. I’ll definitely try to write more with reid and sh reader, so i’ll try to follow the request a bit more closely next time]

TW- {Self harm mentions, not super graphic, but it is a bit detailed, mentions of kidnapping and su!c!de (briefly), Eating habits mentioned, but not detailed at all, disassociation scenes, 2 of them i think, use of y/n}

1.2k words, enjoy

You looked down at your watch, watching the second hand tick all the way around the circle, desperately trying not to look up. If you looked up, all you would see is the dissapointed face of your best friend, Spencer.

You were sat on a stool near his kitchen counter. Usually if you were sitting here, there would be laughter and smiles, maybe pizza or some freshly baked cupcakes, but this was different. You only ever saw Reid like this once, when he sat you down to talk to you about your eating habits. You swore you would never do anything that would make him that upset again. You never wanted him to worry about you. He had enough on his plate, you would only be a burden. And yet, here you are.

You thought you were hiding it well, to be honest you really were. You never let anything slip, not a wince, not a complain, nothing. No one knew a thing, until today.

You were finishing a case, a rough one if you’re being honest. There was a young girl, one with scars everywhere, self inflicted. Everyone thought she had killed herself, except you and Reid. You both fought hard to find the girl. The team did end up finding her, she was trapped in some freaks attic. The case was closed, she was found, it was fine. You told yourself it was fine, you did your best to convince yourself that it didn’t bother you. It wasn’t until you were filling out your case reports that you finally let yourself dwell on it. You could hear Derek’s voice so clearly in your head, “Is it possible that she took her own life? It’s clear she has suicidal tendencies.” Even after JJ and Hotch explained the complexities of non-suicidal self injury, his words still rang in your head. You dont even know why it bothered you. I wasn’t judgmental, it wasn’t disrespectful, it wasn’t even a bad theory, but it rattled you. It’s like you could perfectly imagine them talking about you like that, like you were nothing but your habits. You knew that wasn’t how Morgan meant it, he was doing his job, you would do the same for any other case, but this one just stung.

As you thought about it, you faded into your mind. It’s like you weren’t even there at your desk, you were inside your head. Your nails found there way to your other hands knuckles. You were good at hiding the marks, and it was easy to lie about them. They were your hands, anyone would believe that you just knicked them, or got them stuck in your car door, or that your neighbors cat was a playful fella, or the countless other excuses you had saved in your resevoir. You never hurt youself in public, or when people could catch you, except today apperently. Your finger was red and bleeding by the time you snapped out of your haze. Or rather, was rudely dragged out of our haze by Spencer. You blinked a few times as you focused on him and what he was saying.

“Y/n stop that.” His hands were on yours. You were frozen for a second, your mind almost buffering, before the reality of that moment actually dawned on you. Without speaking a word you pulled your hands back and stoop up from your desk.

You grabbed your bag, sliding your unfinished report into your desk drawer, before beginning to walk off, “Good work Spence, I’ll see you tommorow.” You made your way to the elevator, ttrying to avoid the obvious footsteps following you. He put his hand on your shoulder as you made your way out of the building, gently guiding you to his car. You didn’t fight it, you knew you couldn’t, and you would really rather not make a scene in your work parking lot. You listened to the hum of his car air conditioner as he drove the all familiar route to his appartment.

That’s how you ended up here. A few warm tears falling down your cheeks while Spencer silently stares at your shrunken figure. He was trying to find the words that he wanted to say, which was never a good thing. He was the Spencer Reid, he always knew what to say.

He finally cleared his throat, after what felt like ages, “Non-suicidal self injury is a habitual addiction, but it’s possible to recover from it. You just have to tell someone about it, that’s step one. That’s always been step one. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know Spence. I’m sorry.” Your voice was small. You felt small compared to your all knowing best friend. You knew everything there was to know about self harm, sometimes it was the only thing you wanted to read about or learn about, sometimes you felt like it was the only thing you knew about, but you knew this was how Reid helped, so you tried to stay calm as you let him tell you everything that you already had memorized.

“We’re friends y/n, you can talk to me.”

You huffed at that, mumbling a small, “Yea friends.”

“You’re deflecting.” He sounded softer, you hurt him. You were deflecting, and now you feel worse than you did before. You hated this, you wanted to go home and relive this day. Your nails started to sink into the skin on your thigh.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Great, Spencer saw. Spencer knows. Spencers going to think your insane, he’s going to talk about you like your a victim. He’s going to talk to you like a baby and look at you like your bleeding out in front of him. He’s never going to think about you the way you think of him, your just some charity case for him. He doesn’t -

His hand grabs yours, taking it away from your leg. Before your brain can catch up with you, your arms are wrapped around him, pressing your face into his torso. Your tears are falling more freely now. You feel his hands run through your hair and rub against your back. You never feel more safe than you do when your in his arms, your thoughts can’t catch you here.

You aren’t sure how long you stay like that before you gently pull away from him. You sit patiently as he examines your hands. You can see the hurt in his eyes, you do your best to ignore it.

“I love you, y/n. I don’t want you to do this to youself. You can get help for this. You can talk to me about it if you need to.” He was soft, but not condescending. You could feel yourself melt, as though you needed another reason to love him.

“I can’t do that, I’ll just be a burden. This isn’t your baggage to carry.” You started to pull away again.

“It’s still your baggage, I just want to help you carry it. Let me help you, please.” His voice pulled you right back in.

You wiped the remaining tears from your face, “Okay Spence.” He sighed in relief, taking your hands and leading you to the couch. You both sat, you resting your head against his chest. You didn’t have to talk about it now. You knew you would eventually, but that's another thing about Spencer, you felt comfortable. You didn’t feel anxious about the impending conversations to be had, you weren’t stressing about him watching you or knowing your secrets, you simply felt safe. That was enough for now.

#yellowroseswrites #comfort fics #x reader #x reader fic #self h@rm #self harm fic #sh!reader #self h@rm reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x reider #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #tw #spencer reid comfort

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snaxle · 6 months

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just saw someone say the reason bi lesbians are problematic is because they're inclusive of radfems, and that bi lesbians spew terf rhetoric. i dont know what kinda secret alternate universe you're living in where terfs are supportive of mspec identities but im begging you to turn on your brain cells for longer than 5 seconds at a time and then go outside instead of wallowing in queer twitter discourse made by 15 year olds 10 hours every day you fucking idiots.

terfs dont fucking like bi lesbians. terfs would rather watch us either kill ourselves than ever support our identities.

"i hate mspec lesbians because they tell people who hate men that they're sharing terf beliefs, which is exactly what terfs want!!" have you literally never seen a terf's account before in your life? they fucking hate men and want everyone in the world to know that every single man in the world no matter how old they are that they're gross ugly creatures who all hate women and want nothing more than to prey on the downfall of all women. yea, even those 6 and 12 year old boys that live next door to you. so yea, while you're posting your quirky little "i hate all men they're disgusting 🙄" posts every three days for your 400 twitter followers, you're 100% spewing terf rhetoric!! no that doesnt mean you're a fucking terf but you're sharing into their beliefs and spreading their agenda every time you do this shit which is what they want!!!!

"the term lesbian is already inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, so using the term bi/mspec lesbian is problematic because you dont think trans people can be lesbians!" look me in the eyes. do you genuinely, honest to god think that terfs care about that. do you genuinely think terfs are okay with trans people calling themselves a lesbian. terfs dont fucking care, they still want you to either detransition and realize how "evil" being trans is and follow in their beliefs, or they want you dead. a nonbinary trans man who uses he/him pronouns calling himself a bi lesbian is literally the least of your fucking worries.

i am trans and bigender. even if i just called myself solely a lesbian without the extra labels, terfs still wont fucking accept me because i am not a pure innocent 100% woman. they will not accept me even when i tell them i feel more like a woman most days than i do a man because i am not their definition of what a woman should be. "it doesnt matter what terfs say, lesbian is still inclusive of trans people!" no, it's only inclusive of trans people that you deem are good and women enough to use the label.

people love going around talking about how they're so so supportive of any and all identities and then immediately turn around and be like "hmmm but not Yours." i could be the most perfect woman in the world, but the second i so much as mention i think a man looks attractive, then i am not being a lesbian the Right way.

so who the fuck cares anymore. who cares if i use the term bisexual lesbian to identify myself? im already doing it all wrong supposedly, so who cares if im more of a problem than i already am? the queer people im supposed to share a community with would rather side on the side of terfs because im not being a lesbian in the supposedly Correct way, and no matter what i say to try defending myself I'll never be seen as a true and proper lesbian because random strangers on the internet i will never meet ever in my life has already dictated that I'm not good enough. that my existence is problematic and harmful to everyone else, completely ignorant of the fact that they're unwillingly sharing in the beliefs of transphobes, homophobes and conservatives who would like nothing more than to wipe us all out instead of standing together as a community.

but you know, putting bi lesbians on your dni or whatever is more important.

#og #txt

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fischlcatgirl · 8 months

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ok so im thinking about. chiluc. i- chiluc shippers come in close. i love you come in close. we can all be honest with ourselves here. there will never be anything close to chiluc content ingame.

and so for many years i feel chiluc has been relegated to aus or established relationship nobody knows how they got together. where its like. childe is not part of the orginization that killed diluc's father. or maybe he was but it wasn't quite as bad. which dont get me wrong aus are great.

HOWEVER. i have been thinking. and here is how (currently) canon compliant chiluc can STILL WIN.

ok so we know that in canon mondstadt is like. equally as politically powerful as shneznaya is right. so it would probably benefit them if they had you know. good ties to each other. like linked powerhouses in both nations. so. kind of like an arranged marriage fic......

WAIT!! because I hear you you're saying like ohhh they would never agree to that listen to me. Childe would do anything for his tsaritsa for the good of shneznaya for the good of his family ok. he's the most disposible of the harbingers they might as well marry him off. and Diluc well. you see. at first he is DEFINITELY like no way in one million billon years go fuck yourselves. and then he actually meets childe and while hes like. repressing the urge to start strangling hes like wait. this guy is actually stupid.

diluc says. i may hate the knights but you know who i hate slightly more. the fatui. and i love mondstadt. surely the husband of this dumbass would be like. getting shneznayan state secrets revealed to him all the time. i could be a really good spy and i would know if the fatui are about to attack mondstadt.

and he agrees and hes like. so prepared to be absolutely miserable he's being sooo self-sacrifing right now. hes like jean do you see me being self-sacrificing. and jean says yeah for sure. whatever. thanks.

but then..... childe is like. he's doing that thing he does with the traveller where he's like "im doing so great!! i love that there's a darkness growing within me it's so cool and epic!!! anyway do you want to hear about how i don't think i have an identity for myself??"

diluc says. wait hold on a second. what the fuck. this guy is messed up. this is the part where if this was a modern au he would be like. go to therapy stop talking to me about it. but unfortunately i dont think therapy exists in the world of teyvat. otherwise why would everyone be Like That.

Anyway Diluc is realizing while pretending he's having a really nice time getting to know childe he's actually?? having a really nice time getting to know childe???? wtf?? even if the things he says ARE messed up sometimes its ok because childe also has that softness to him

on childe's side of the story everything is literally so great he doesn't know. hes like wow im so happy that i get to serve the tsaritsa and have a cool husband who will spar me and even sometimes almost win!! I'm so excited to introduce him to my family

chiluc family dinner. on childe's side its his whole family of like. eight other people. diluc invites nobody and when childe asks him about it diluc has a Moment of Weakness and he admits that he doesn't really talk to his family anymore and like. childe is like well thats ok. because youll be part of my family and they liked you a lot

varied chiluc introductory fluff... they're getting to know each other they're starting to have like. falling in love a little bit moments. childe trying to teach diluc how to use a bow and like standing behind him with his arms fiixng his arrow position or something like that. its cute. childe at this point is like. fully in love he can see their future together and everything.

BUT THEN!!! ok so diluc has been sending semiregular letters to mondstadt right. and childe's fellow harbingers are like. hey childe you're checking his mail right. and childe goes no thats private why would i do that. and childe isn't paranoid but he is. very very curious. he checks the mail.

and you know the knights and diluc worked out like. a secret code before he left for shneznaya. but childe can kind of tell something is up and he sends it to like. idk pulcinella or pantalone or someone and they're like oh yeah dude this is a secret message.

and childe confronts diluc about it he goes hey!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! and diluc breaks childe's heart because like. he's cornered and he's like yeah its all true and i. well. um. but like he can't bring himself to say that he's not sorry because he is. he's learned about how lonely childe actually is and they've been bonding over that. and he feels bad because he knows he was the only person childe like. trusted on a human level.

so he takes it all back and says he'll cut communications because at this point. hes seen that childe is an absolute killer and he's very frankly. a little bit scared for his life. and childe forgives him but he's on thin ice.

at this point. childe goes freak mode. because see after he was told that the letters were encoded, he told his fellow harbingers that he was going to. you know. kill diluc. so he goes all proper beauty and the beast you can't leave our house. and diluc thinks its because he's a control freak and not because he's trying to stop anyone from seeing diluc. childe is trying to keep up the illusion that diluc is dead.

and diluc says you cant keep me locked in here forever. childe says. sorry dude. but its clear that diluc is absolutely miserable and childe is actually. he really is sorry about it. and diluc can tell he's sorry and so he's picking up on that it maybe isnt entirely childe's fault that he's trapped here. so he's not mad but he's defintely miserable. they're miserable together.

but hey. guess what. diluc's messages have stopped coming to the knights. so jean says kaeya. you have to send a letter over asking when the actual wedding party is. and also asking if diluc is like. good. youre his brother it makes sense.

kaeya sends the letter. childe goes. oh um. shit. wait hey can we just get you back to mondstadt somehow?? and diluc says PLEASE. so they have to. sneak out of the country (difficult) (the wedding was public news so people keep asking about it) (pulcinella runs most of the trains so it's kind of hard to buy diluc a ticket without him knowing). and they end up basically having to escape on foot going from town to town out of shneznaya and. here i just kind of assume that shneznaya is directly north of mondstadt so down into mondstadt.

and this whole process does it for diluc. he's like man. youre risking it all. for me. and childe says yes that is what i do :). and they end up at the dawn winery just kind of. talking. and diluc realizes that he is in fact in love with childe. like he's been trying to avoid it but it's unavoidable now and he says hey childe. can we say that the letter thing was kind of a big misunderstanding. wouldn't it be best if idk.

we got married. you know for the good of our nations. and childe says YIPEE!! HOORAY!!! he's like yeah.... for the good of our nations for sure

chiluc wedding party. theyre sillies <3

and that is how a theoretically canon compliant chiluc could still win

#genshin impact #chiluc #board certified my post #childe #diluc

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my-castles-crumbling · 4 days

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hi cas!!

im gonna rant at you for a bit if you dont mind :)

Im a minor that lives in a super tight night, close minded community. Super religious, super homophobic transphobic ect. Seeing as im a teenage girl whose questioning their gender and is definitely attracted to women thats kinda problematic lols. Honestly idek how to explain the situation without a bunch of details, but basically, theres a fifty-fifty chance of me being sent to conversion therapy or just cut off from any internet access (and i mean ANY. i have a flip phone for fucks sake.)if my fam finds out im queer, i have no support system outside of some internet friends who know nothing about my situation, and within the next few years(so like once i turn 20ish, thats in like 4 years but whatever) my family is going to expect me to get married to a man and start popping out babies asap. Btw thats whats expected of me in this community, marriage under the age of 25, have like as many kids as physically possible and god forbid higher education. And im not okay with that . Ffs i want to go to college, major in fine arts, meet a person i like and fall desperately in love or maybe not just have a bunch of close platonic relationships i want cats and a dog and a cute studio in a big city where i can dye my hair whatever color i want aand get an obsene amount of piercings, i want to wear pants!! I just want to live. Without expectations or limits or people who love me hating everything they dont know about me. Is that truly so much to ask for?

And im incredibly dramatic cuz i literally have the dream life. My family loves me, my parents are upper middle class, theyve never hurt me before(besides for all the anti everything rants haha) i literally have a full sized bed, which for some reason i see as the peak of being spoiled idk why. I go to school, not even public, a private religious school that prob costs thousands of dollars, i have friends(who are all part of this community btw and id bet my entire savings that most of them think gay is only a word that ppl use to mean happy lol) close ones even!! I have adorable neices and nephews(my 3 sisters all were married by the age of 20, so i have 11 niecesand nephews while my oldest sister is 31) im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out. No hope of college to get on my feet and find someway out, no people that'll help me fucking run away or some bullshit like that, hell ive considered it and then felt like shit, cuz what am i even running from? Im probably attracted to men it wont kill me to marry one. And i like kids, i wouldnt mind having any either. But.... i dont want to be trapped anymore. Cuz ill be honest thats what i am.if some one asked me to run away with them rn i would, no hesitation.

God im a mess😭😭 anyway this was me ranting in my notes app, im just apologizing for dumping this on a complete stranger(we're moots actually!!) albeit a very kind one :) i dont know what im looking for, but ill take whatever your comfortable giving ig.

I love and appreciate you<333

And hey this has been oddly cathartic so lmk if its okay for me to do this again sometime :))

"im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out."

Hon, you're not living the dream life...there's a difference between financial privilege and being happy, you know? It's pretty clear that this isn't what you want.

I'm not sure if you're asking for my advice here, or if you just want to vent. But I care about you, and if you want me to research some things to try to help you, I'm more than willing to (that way it's not on your search history.) Just say the word!

Until then, you are ALWAYS allowed to vent to me.

I'm naming you venting anon in case you write again!

#ask #asks #ask cas #venting anon

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ichimatsu-gal · 2 years

Text

IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!!!

(I was watching the jacksepticeye undertale play through again and I noticed that the part were Undyne is perched on the entrance to hotland that what she said to frisk was really fucked, like if that was me I probably would’ve cried, so heres how I think and older mc woudve reacted like, Bc I feel like we let her comments go way to easily”

(P.S. might make a part two just need to know if y’all want one!)

Part 2 Coming soon!!

(Literally had part 2 ready to post, that shit disappeared from the face of the earth, imma have to rewrite the whole thing kms😭😭)

————————————————————————

You walked down the long dark halls of waterfall, all the events of before ran through your mind with no end, you had encountered undyne for the last time not that long ago, hell you became friends or well at least you think you did, it felt more like she was just tolerating you for papyrus sake if anything, everything seemed to have been blown over with no second thought, to be honest you didn’t really know how to feel, she said really fucked up things during your fight and even when papyrus was trying to make you two get along, She would say shit with a tight smile trying to act friendly even though she just wanted to beat your face in at that moment (which you appreciated that she didn’t since you were a guest) her words didn’t help your already spiraling mind, your self esteem seemed to get lower than you ever thought possible too.

You had abruptly stopped in the middle of the path you were walking, face scrunching up in frusteration “FUCK!” you suddenly turn and punch the wall next to you, her words kept repeating in your head “YOU'RE STANDING IN THE WAY OF EVERYBODY'S HOPES AND DREAMS!” You punch the wall (HOW, HOW AM I STANDING IN THE WAY OF EVERYONE'S HOPES AND DREAMS??) punch “YOU'RE JUST A COWARD!”

(I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT TRY TO SURVIVE, HOW DOES THAT MAKE ME A COWARD??) punch “HIDING BEHIND THAT KID SO YOU COULD RUN AWAY FROM ME AGAIN!” You face tightens (WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, LET HIM FALL TO HIS DEATH???) punch “YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE MORE VALUABLE TO EVERYONE??” Her next words made you scream “IF YOU WERE DEAD!!!!” Why the fuck would she say that “THAT'S NOT FAIR, IT'S NOT, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO ANY OF YOU, WHY DO I HAVE TO DIE!!!”.

You kept punching the wall taking no notice of the blood dripping down your arms onto the floor, you kept at it for what felt like hours until you couldn’t feel you arms anymore eventually collapsing, knees giving out from under you, you gave a quick gasp not expecting the fall so suddenly, a burning sting from your fists made you finally see the damage you had done to yourself, the wall and floor where covered in your blood, looking down your knuckles weren’t any better, all busted and bruised and fucked up “shitshitshit” it hurt so fucking much, your eyes started to fill up with tears, your vision turning blurry “nononono” you started wiping at them aggressively “dont start fucking crying now, there’s no point” but the tears kept coming anyway, it seems you had no control over your own body so you just gave in.

A hash sob erupted its way from your throat taking you by surprise, but you just let it happen, you leaned back against the wall for some type of support, after that all your bottles up feelings just started ripping themselves out of you painful laid sobs and hiccups just kept coming and tears just trailed down your cheeks faster, your sight was completely blurry at this point from how many tears where bottling up in your eyes. You changed your position in a way where you were cradling yourself, head nuzzled into your knees and bloodied hands tightly grabbing your hair, you were having a full blown breakdown at this point, it wasn’t fair all you wanted to do was go home you wanted to get out of this fucking mountain why was everyone trying to kill you, you had nothing to do with what happened to them hell you didn’t even know they existed until you fell down into this hell hole. You let your sobs get louder not caring if any monster could hear them (they would probably try to kill me again anyway so why does it matter) you hiccuped.

All you bottled fears just kept swirling around in your head with not intent on stopping, at first you were scared yeah who wouldn’t be after falling down a 100 feet deep hole thinking they were gonna fucking die once they hit the ground only to wake up being completely fine and not plastered all over the floor, and then you encountered that stupid faced smiling flower that tried to fucking kill you with shity pellets. You were insanely grateful when Toriel saved you she was incredibly kind and patient with the state you were in, you even had fun when she guided you through the puzzles in the ruins plus you almost cried when she was sweet enough to bake you a pie out of the goodness of her soul, although it got serious again when you asked how to exit the mountain, it got even worse when she tried to keep you from leaving explaining that you could die out there, that the king Asgore would kill you if you left, and you believed her the flower was enough proof of that, but you told her you couldn’t stay down here you had to leave, you had loved ones, friends, and a future waiting for you in the surface, you had a whole life that you weren’t willing to give up just because she was afraid. Obviously yeah dying wasn’t really on your bucket list of things to do but being stuck in a claustrophobic mountain, living every day seeing the exact same walls was not something you were willing to do just to not get murdered. She understood your despair and hesitantly let you go, you both exchanged a sad farewell you even she’d a couple of tears promising her you would be fine, of course you were more saying that to yourself than to her, continuing on your way you were scared and cautious but once you reached the exit and met sans with his dumb Whoopi cushion trick and his stupid puns that managed to make you laugh you weren’t as scared anymore, hell everyone that you had encountered so far where delightful and kind, they were welcoming and special in their own way, you shared a few laughs with many of them and you thoroughly enjoyed papyrus’s puzzles admiring how kind and optimistic the skeleton was, forever cherishing that “date” you two had, you and the brothers got along very well actually, they were kind enough to let you stay with them while you tried to figure out how to get out, having many sleepovers and game nights, watching mettatons dramatic romance movies and laughing, you also thoroughly enjoyed papyrus’s overly dramatic reactions whenever sans blurted out a pun.

You had sat there for what was probably hours and hours on end not moving a muscle, the weight on your shoulders held you down heavily with no intent on leaving, the tears you had been shedding were slowing down, and the blood on your knuckles was partially dry. You leaned you aching head back on the rocky wall behind you, looking up at the shining crystals meant to replace the stars from the surface, smiling you gave out a quiet dry chuckle (monsters wish on these crystals all the time, it’s not like I’m gonna gain or lose anything by doing it too) you closed your eyes tightly, even with the raging headache you managed to squeeze out some thought on what you wanted to wish for (please let me be able to make it through this, let me help them, please just send me something, someone, some type of sign to help me, please…..) you opened your eyes again, you waited a few minutes but nothing happened, the last bit of sanity you had left found that funny and you laughed “yeah I didn’t think so either” you decided that a quick nap would do you good plus the floor seems comfy right now and the house was to far away, you were gonna move to lie down until you heard some footsteps coming from down the hall.

You didn’t panic, you didn’t even care anymore, you were exhausted, sleep is all you wanted right now but your curiosity decided to at least see who it was, you were partially hoping it wasn’t undyne though you don’t think your legs could carry you right now. Watching intently waiting on whatever danger might be coming in your direction you sat up in a position where you could take off quickly just in case, even though you knew you would just fall flat on your face again if you tried but you sure as hell weren’t going down without a fight or running away anyway, the monster turned the corner as you watched intently and It actually turned out to be the last person you expected “sans?” said skeleton stopped reading the joke book he was holding and looked up at his name being called out, with a smile on his face he looked around before spotting you only for his smile to drop immediately right after, he stood there frozen to his spot for a few second, sockets widening in shock before actually deciding to move “holy shit, kid what happened to you???” he rushed towards you faster than you have ever seen him move before, dropping the book in the process he crouched down next to you, he looked you up and down with a worried expression on his face, you weakly smiled at him “heya sansy, you come around here often?” he gently glared at your sarcastic light attitude “kid this ain’t funny what happened?” He was looking down at your hands which you held out for him to see better “oh you know I was just walking around and then I decided to have a breakdown and punch a wall repeatedly for shit and giggles” he breathed out a laugh through his nose, finding your sad humor funny despite the situation, he was gently holding your hands in his checking out the damage “ oh stars kid, you really did a number on yourself” he said while gently caressing the bottom of your hands with his fingers, you frowned, the soft contact making tears swell in your eyes again “yeah I know” you felt pathetic.

You explained to him what happened with the whole knuckle situation and then ended up telling him everything from the very beginning, how you fell down, your encounter with toriel, and your fears, your fears about how you didn’t wanna be stuck here with every day being the same, or how you had to be careful when wondering outside because you could get killed, how you wanted to help them but didn’t know how and all the despair you felt because you couldn’t do shit. Sans just listened to you, he didn't interrupt you, or tried to give advice, he just listened, and you really appreciated that “Sans I’m so fucking tired, it’s not fair what happened to any of you, and I understand being so angry with humanity, but it’s not my fault” you looked over at him eyes full of tears, you looked so broken, so fragile, sans could feel your soul crying out for help “sans I don’t want to die” your voice broke at the end of your sentence with a sob, that was it, those words completely shattered him, he quickly brought you into his embrace, arms securing themselves around your shaking frame holding you tightly but not tight enough to hurt you, he let your teary face nuzzle closely to his chest, as your hands tiglhy grabbed the back of his hoodie desperately probably thinking that if you let go he would disappear entirely and you would be left alone “I know kiddo, I understand how you feel, I’m here I’m not going anywhere” he whispered his head nuzzling the top of yours.

#sans x reader #sans the skeleton #undertale #sans underfell x reader #angst with a happy ending #some fluff #undertale x reader

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marunalu · 9 months

Note

Hawks: AFO has no emotions

Afo in recent chapter: *his face almost cracked due to emotions*

I wonder...why AFO hates All Might so much?

Do you think All Might will deafeat AFO in this fight? What will happen? What are your predictions?

Hawks was wrong so many times in the past, its mind boggling to me why so many people in this fandom still take everything that comes out of his mouth at face value. Just because a hero says something specific about someone else, doesnt mean they are right. Hawks doesnt understand afo. He is not an expert of afos person. Afo already debunked hawks words about him not able to feel human emotions because he has "no heart", long before he even stated them in the first place, in kamino.

The reason why afo showed less emotions back then was because as an adult he has them for the most part under control. The younger afo gets by rewinding himself and also by tomuras hate having an effect on him, the more emotional and reckless he becomes. The emotions afo shows now is who he deep down truly is, the person he is trying to suppress, because he sees it as a weakness. Thats why he is smiling all the time - because only the strongest can always smile. He is a man so full of hate and rage for the world he wants to steal everyones elses happiness, since it was (most likely) taken from him too.

We need to remember in what kind of time afo grew up in, people like him were hunted down and killed, how he lost the only person he loved (in his own messed up way) and IF dfo is true what was taken from him AGAIN. If our theorys are true and afo startet a family on his own accord to finally have some happiness in his life, its no wonder why he reacts to all might the way he does.

We saw hints of his hate and anger towards all might already in kamino, but back then he had it under control. Right now, he is letting everything out. Back in kamino he said: "while I killed your mentor, you took something away from me too. Thats why I want you to die in the most pathetic way possible." Its more or less confirmed that he wasnt talking about his empire here all might destroyed, because he explained to spinner that all might destroying his empire was "just a small lose" for him. Its not the reason why he hates all might so much. So if it has nothing to do with his empire, it has to be something as PERSONAL as killing nana was for all might - taking his most beloved person from him! It was nana for all might, his mother figure. Who is it for afo? Yoichi is dead afterall.

About my predictions: do I think all might will win? No, I dont think so. But I think it will at first look like it and he will give afo one hell of a fight. Do I think all might will die? Im 50:50 on it. Im still not convinced that afo is the villain killing all might in nighteyes vision. Nighteye knew what afo looked like, but even all might thought that if he didnt knew already he would never guessed that this "young man" is afo. So Im unsure how this will turn out. Do I think afo will win here? Yes, but not unscratched and most likely on the verge of death if not alone because of rewind. Will he make it to ua? Im not sure anymore to be honest, but we know he still needs to do something to make the fusion of tomura and his vestige complete and he needs to reach ua for that.

What do I want to happen? I want afo to go all out even more. I want his backstory to explain what the hell happend to this man to make him turn out like that! I want dfo confirmed in this fight out of afos own mouth, raging how all might destroyed his happiness the moment he was ready to leave his villain life behind him. I want him to use fire breath in this battle! Seriously if he uses fire breath I will run, jump and scream around my appartment like a maniac!

#bnha #bnha spoiler #bnha all for one #bnha dad for one #dad for one theory

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cogbreath · 2 months

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its very stressful and painful and honest to god heartbreaking when my mom tells me to avoid stepping in when my dad is being abusive bc she's worried he'll get worse towards her if i do . shit got rlly ugly tonight. im very very tired of having to just watch & hear this shit happen. im very tired of having to pretend it doesnt effect me. im tired of being made to stay out of the way im tired of being told to be nice to that man im really so tired. my whole life basically in this house ive had to live like 😐. i dont think either of them really realise how deeply this shit has broken me apart over and over again thru my life. ive been having to be the Neutral Mediator since my childhood with this. its very distressing for a child to have to tell their own mother that this shouldnt be happening. that its not normal.

i dont think any of them understand how often i/my alters think about Ending It For Good. why woildnt i? do you think the way ive grown up makes a person feel like they even have a future at all? especially when as a kid i was afraid he was gonna try that first and kill us both. i have a deep internal thought that i need to do it before he does ir first

my mom is still talking like shes on voard with having him move out of here soon but like. when is soon. soon is coming, right???

i csnt let that not happjen

i will lose it if that plan falls through

i dont rlly have any drugs or anyrhing to ease myself

i dont know what to do

shpuld i just run away?

i dont have anywhere to go. i have no friends no job nothing like that but this is just so painful to deal with. and. honestly. i cant leave her alone with him. i cant. i know my existence and presence does little to acrually help keep things from going worse; but i feel that if i wasnt here, it would get way way worse

my mom has so many breakdowns abt how nobody wnats to save her or help her

i do

but she doesnt want to LET me. i dont know what she wants. i dont know what im supposed to do anymore. ive given all my advice. i tey to listen to her ans let her vent but its not enough i guess

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noxiatoxia · 10 months

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i need you guys to know that i am really sick right now and have been bed ridden for days. and my evil evil evil friend the other day, WHILE i am sick and overwhelmed already from being so sick, drops the bombshell of "have you realized if you flip episode 21 backwards it's 12..... like midnight.....like cinderella" i actually got so fucking upseti was sick and tired and stressed and then i read that i had to take a fucking xanax to calm the fuck down i couldn't handle it. i hate it here. 12. eyah, sure, episode 21, backwards is 12. sure! ok! was this intentional ? does not even matter. it is like when somebody does the thing that is racist or perhaps sexcist and it is like, well i understand you meant nothing no harm by it beut it was still bad regardless of intentions that is what this is like, even if they did not intend for the 21 to dlip to 12 and be midnight the damnage is done. honestly good allegory for the allegory itself this awhole thing was unintnetional damafe done to ME specifically. like. guys put yourself in my shoes rigth now. i am up at 4:00am i want to sleep but i have to wait 30 more minutes so i can take my meds i am on a schedule so i wont be sick anymore and instead of speanding this time watching youtube or playing video games or doing smth productive you know what, i am thinking about the carriage allegoryand about how 21 backwards is 12. 12. like midnight.....like was that intentional dude.....like the writers, they are generally clever sometimes so like i could vision it being intentional at least a little bit like SOMEbody on the staff knew what was up. i mean it will never be confirmed though it is all speculation whcih is the worst part about all of this, like the lallegory itself i get no fucking closure it is all just guesswork and shambles. and now i am #jonker mode over hwat? pumpkin anime? the only pumpkin kaoru should be doin is pumpin ' his kin ok ok........ stop with the gay cinderella shit nobody cares. see this is why i cant handle the idea of ouran season 2 or a reboot bc, it is bad either way. 1) they bring back the carriage i m done for 2) if they do nt i will be pissed off because i want it resolved so then they are just ignoring it 3) even if they bring it back and do it well i will still be traumatized like this wont ifix anything the damahes had been dealt and i ahve to live with it forever. so for my sake i hope they never remake ouran i deserve some peace and fucking rest ok at least hold out like......3 more years or something like maybe the grief will have dulled by that time. so a remake/reboot/season 2 wont be so traumatizing to me it will be like "oh, ok" you know. i feel like i had a comparison but i lost it. i dont wantch much anime tob e quite honest. can you tell im trying to kill time waiting for 30 minutes to pass it has only been 7. fuck episode 21. fuck the fact it is a 12 when flipped. fuck mifnight, the time. fuuuuuck episode 21. why coulnt it be 22 to avoid this. episod e 21 should be the name of an std

#carriagecore #cant wait to wake up and see this post on my dash nd thing woow i was really tired hihuh #idc about the spelling mistakes im too lazy #;noxiatalksia #ohshc

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obihoe · 1 year

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sorry to keep talking abt the same three things on here every day but this realization that mdr might have been ready to let hsrm kill him, wanted him to kill him even, during the vote fight has re-wired my brain entirely i think like .. the way mdr is willing to take anything from him. accept any amount of cruelty from him .. guess the one thing he cannot take is dishonesty. like stabbing sm in the back is somewhat dishonest i think. cuz youre not facing the person, arent rly owning up to what youre doing there in a sense. i guess maybe there is a bit of a parallel in this also to how mdr before leaving the village tells him to "drop the civilties" .. or smth. and then tells him that hsrm is the only one who can match him and he looks forward to fighting him. like i think mdr more than anything just wants real connection so dialogue is not an option cuz they dont understand each other anymore and fighting seems more honest cuz there's nothing but fighting anyway. overall in the world. so there is nothing else left. its the only language they have, the most honest one. dont rly know where im going w this anymore but i feel like as long as hsrm still does engage w mdr in some type or form. mdr will take it. but he does want it to be honest. he does want there to be Some form of connection. stabbing him in the back led to their connection to be cut before mdr was dead. its not his death that cuts it but the act of stabbing him this way

#posts #madara #hashirama #hashimada #hsmd

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eldritch-spouse · 1 year

Note

Hello. I am here to hurt Breg. And not in a sexy times way.

Okay i wanna set the scene. The meeting happens, Breg being a weirdo, Reader and breg finally start dating and being in a relationship, Shenanigans starts and happens, Maybe a year passes but oh what the hell is this? Reader’s slowly falling out of love.

Of course the first idea is “Don’t tell breg this cause he’ll freak out”. But then again, are we really gonna just keep up in a relationship with someone we dont really love anymore? Basically reader’s kinda in a dead end here tryna think of what to do. Might as well be honest am i right?

So reader tells Breg, Tryna explain it real gently to the poor guy. What’s Bregs next move? Kidnapping? Tell them “haha no your not wdym you dont love me anymore”. Like is the dude really gonna try and keep reader, Hoping they can fall in love with him again? Tryna still be in a relationship where Reader doesn’t really love him anymore? Or idk this just gets us killed 🤷

Anyways thats all, Feel free to ignore this. Also fun fact i was typing this while listening to Fantasy by Mariah Carey. Yeah don’t question me. But i do recommend it.

Oh no. Oh no no.

What do you mean falling out of love with him? No. Not even close. Get real.

He didn't go through all this effort just for you to fall out of love, to get bored of him. That's... That's just wrong. How could you? How fucking selfish do you have to be?! "I don't love you anymore."... Just like that. Breg can't understand, he can't- That's not a thing. That's an excuse, and a cruel, pointless, disgusting one at that. Just tell him, okay? If he did something wrong, tell him.

Don't play around like that. Breg really doesn't like that joke, angel. It's not funny. You might not want to say that again.

Breg's first strategy is denial. Denial all the way. In fact, one of the first things he does is leave the conversation, mostly not to hurt you or himself during the initial shock of it. He'll return some time later, pretending the exchange didn't happen, and everytime you try to start the same topic, he'll loudly interrupt, or desperately seek for a distraction. This may lead him to grabbing you too hard in an effort to get to you divert your attention to something else, but the breeder express clear regret when you cry out.

Then comes the silence.

And if you've been around Breg enough (a year will do), then you know this is around the time where you either drop a subject completely or deal with the consequences of pressing on. Breg won't reply to you when you start conversations about falling out of love, and he will oftentimes try to remove himself from the situation or do something to keep himself occupied and to prevent his mind from wondering.

Persist and Breg will take drastic measures.

You get an explosive reaction. Breg will reveal to you how deeply this is affecting him, breaking down into a crying, screaming, snarling mess about how none of it is fair, about how he only wanted to love you, how he's been behaving so well and doing everything right and you don't get to take his happiness away- You just don't. He's furious, he's broken. He can't function without you, he only bothered to integrate into society fully because of you, so you'd love him, see him as a proper mate. By some miracle of God, Breg actually succeeded, everything was so fucking perfect, and now you just had to ruin it, didn't you?

Well no. That's not how this is going to end at all. You don't get to decide.

Maybe it's time you take a break, stay home, and let Breg handle the bigger things, yes? Don't worry about anything, he'll take care of it. Because clearly, the two of you need some alone time. This is the initial stage of the kidnapping phase, and while there is room to salvage your current situation, you're on thin fucking ice, angel.

It's only a matter of time until Fasma stumbles onto this sad scene and advises Breg on how to properly keep someone captive.

#Bregory

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kzele · 1 year

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Basic premise that @hermesserpent-stuff and I talked about: (TSSM verse) Spidey gets unmasked by Sinister Six and they decide to perma-kidnap him. This due to a. them not wanting to fight a kid and b. Ock getting obsessive over realizing Spider-Man is actually a really smart/strong kid. The only one not on board with this is Shocker, who decides to liberate the kid and slips him Tombstone's card in the process. He separates from the Six after this and tells Tombstone how young the kid likely falls on the age range. The conversation below is a possible scenario where Tombstone and Spider-Man get real deep here. Tomby asks about why he does this and Peter keeps deflecting with humor until one day he jokingly says "I'll explain my reasons when you explain yours." Tombstone agrees and Peter does a great surprised Pikachu imitation. (I was Peter; they were Tombstone)

P: "I was joking!"

T:"I wasn't."

P: "Well, can't we respect each other's privacy for this topic?"

T: "no."

P: "Why's it so important to you, anyways? I thought we had this great professional antagonism going on. Do you really wanna spoil that?"

T: "Im quite happy to spoil our 'professional antagonism' if it means understanding why a 13 year old has taken it upon himself to fight my empire. and if that means sharing my own history, then I will" *intentially underestimating his age*

P: "I'm older than that and you know it! Try somewhere between the fifteen to twenty range; I'm not narrowing it down any farther. Why do you care about my age, anyways? And why do you think us hearing each other's reasons will change anything?"

T: "Perhaps its because I think your smart enough to understand my perspective on things. Perhaps its because I am genuinely interested to see what would drive a young teen to fight a war in this city alone. If I gave you a true answer, Im not sure youd believe me anyways. so determined to stay antagonistic.

P: "Isn't an honest crime lord an oxymoron? Besides, it doesn't matter how honest you are with me with exact reason being YOU'RE A CRIME LORD. And I wasn't under the impression I was fighting a war against anyone until you told me. My goal was and is helping people one day at a time."

T: "I dont tend to lie in my line of work over things meant to build dialogue. Do I lie as Lincoln? Perhaps. But when you tend to follow through there is much more respect and understanding. and why bother continuing to talk if some part of you wasnt interested. why even talk to me after montana talked to me about discovering your age. What is your goal with this conversation, beyond your usual veil of jokes that you use as a wall of comfort?

P: "Because I'm trying to tell you to drop it and because I don't understand what it is you really want with me anymore! It's confusing and I don't like not knowing what you're thinking. It was a lot simpler to tell when you were trying to off me like everybody else."

T: "what I want is to understand you. What Im thinking is that whatever caused you to be a hero was certainly traumatizing and definitely something that haunts you. and offing you is no longer an option I want on the table. That, and Im fairly sure montana's walk out on the six is indicative of future behavior from him if I wasnt already whole heartedly on board with changing my attitude towards you and telling my men to avoid killing you."

P: "That . . .is not something I've told anyone. Why should you know something like that before anyone else I know? Even if I did tell you, what are you hoping to get from understanding me?"

T: "Spider-man. Teenagers, while rash, dont tend to start fighting without reason. and fighting crime means a bigger reason than most. Im not a fool. and I want to understand you because you are impressive and I find myself wondering exactly who failed you... Perhaps failed is too strong a word. But i cannot help but notice that you stand alone. and I am curious abot the why." *tombstone is not entirely sure what he'll gain from understanding. better manipulation sure. but something else is pushing him to ask and he is unable to lable it*

P: *turns his head away from Tombstone's face* "Why not? No one else has to get hurt this way."

T: *tombstone is speaking softly now* "Yes no one else is hurt. But you are. And you, despite whatever it is that happened in your past, certainly have value. It might be hard to hear, especially if you've been told otherwise. But no teenager should face the wrath and cruelty of the world alone; crime fighting ones included." *A part of him is self reflecting as his own time as a teen, alone and dealing with the world.*

P: "It's my choice to do this, just like it's yours to commit crimes. What are you even trying to say here? It's not like you're going to help me fight crime. Plus, your path makes you even more alone than me. *pause as it kicks in* Is that why you're going through this hyper-focused empathy kick? Because you think that we're similar?"

T: "Im not sure what Im trying to say *shrugs at the admission which is strategic* Maybe seeing someone potentially burn out or get snuffed out by life has broken past my barriers and reached my cold heart. *deflecting*

P: "Uh, huh. Because you haven't seen anything so harsh in your line of work before, right? You have a boatload of supervillains that went through rough times. Marko and O'Hirn, for instance? I don't see you doing any of this for them, so I gotta ask: is this really just a matter of age to you?"

T: "Yes." *lies, he cannot help but see himself in spiderman in some way. he has no idea why*

P: *looks at him* "I call bullcrap, but whatever. Okay, fine. Why do you do what you do? There. I asked it."

T: "Many people told me that I would never amount to anything, and that I shouldnt even try. and i listened to them for a while. till about 21 i ran around under other peoples orders, failed out of school, and was in and out of prison for petty theft, arson, and assault. and then i realized I wanted some control over my life and wanted to fix the problems around me. so i started taking over the underground and fixing it. At least thats the short version of everything."

P: "Thats sucks, but what makes your story any different from the others I fought? Doctor Octopus has claimed similar things about wanting to better run things, but I think we both know that's his ego and anger issues talking there. From my understanding, he got stepped on a lot, too."

T: "Whats different is I dont go after teenagers intentionally like Ock does. And the changes Ive made have actually improved a lot of this city. You werent alive when I was growing up. Not to come across as egotisical, but the areas of the city under my control are far better than they once were. between removing sellers from schools and controlling where fights of petty thugs occur and removing major gang wars happening every few weeks on most streets and running genuine charity outreach, this city has changed for the better. and maybe you dont see it and/or dont agree with it. But I stand by the work that the big man has been able to do.

P: *frowns under the mask* "Maybe, but why keep being a part of the violence now that you can get out of it? It still hurts people. I know you're certainly not the worst option this city has when it comes to running things, but a lot of death still happens under you both directly and *slight pause* indirectly.

T: "someone will always be the big man. The city will always have crime. People will always be cruel. I made my choice and face my sins, knowing the fate of the city if someone else took my place."

P: "Sins which includes trying to kill me after I scared some of your thugs too much, despite the fact I never hurt them. The only thing I hurt there was your bottom line."

T: "If you think thats all you were doing, I envy your view of the world."

P: *confused tilt of the head* "I'm not following. What's there to envy? What else was I supposedly doing?"

T: *blinks* "You do know that one method of territory encroachment for mobs and mafias is crime prevention. perhaps I can better explain this from a business angle. Do you remember blockbusters?"

P: ""Okay, so I encroached on your territory. I think you're going to explain further because I'm still not getting it. You thought I was part of someone else's organization moving in on your rackets?"

T: Some what. Blockbuster took over the rental market by coming in with lower prices and once the other stores could not compete it took over and jacked up the prices. Often crime lords do the same, come in with protection and then start charging for it once they own the territory. I though you may have been an initial sting operation to test the water. Until I saw you starting to deal with the likes of Vulture. It was rather concerning, given that spiders were the calling card of none of the crime bosses I was familiar with. and unknowns are a lot more dangerous than typical take overs."

P: "I get how protection rackets work. *snorts* It's kinda funny you thought I was part of a rival shadow mob. What about afterwards, though? When you knew otherwise that wasn't just targeting you or trying to take over."

T: "An annoyance that made me network look weak and ripe for taking over. Had more than one gang fight. Montana's Enforcers and Hammerhead had quite a few rough weeks before things resettled into the status quo when everyone realized that you were an exception, not the rule."

P: *looks slightly sheepish* "Uh, not exactly my intention to start gang fights, or at least not like that. I didn't realize they got 'inspired' by my own fights."

T: *attempts to be reassuring* "I can see that now. But back then I wasnt sure what to think. Not like I had the ability to call and ask. Dont stress to much over it. they were small compared to what they could have been."

P: "Fair enough. Were there any casualties?" *a little worried still, but also trying to keep from telling his story for as long as possible*

T: "Not as many as there might have been. Given Montana's new suit, he was able to knock out a lot more people than normal. Now. Enough about my operations and thought on your first forays into the limelight of the underground. Ive shown my cards. might i see yours?"

P: "I was hoping you'd forget. Fine. I got my powers due to a lab accident. I didn't realize what had happened to me until I felt sick. Hot and cold flashes, senses dialed up to the nth degree, and my whole body was in a lot of pain. I passed out and woke up like this."

T: "Forgive my pressing, but I dont think that is enough to drive you to fight criminals all over the city."

P: "It's not. I didn't start out trying to do this; I just wanted to make some money for my family. So, I did some prize-fight type stuff, right up until I was cheated by the manager of this one establishment. Said I needed the money and I won it fair and square. He told me it wasn't his problem, but he sure changed his tune when his money got stolen. He yelled at me to catch the thief as he ran by."

T: *listening without interrupting*

P: *voices catches* "I told him. . .that it wasn't my problem. It felt good at the time to say that to him. I forgot about this when I returned home to the man who raised me; he was shot dead. I followed his murderer to the warehouse where the police had him trapped. Care to take a guess as to the guy's identity?"

Part 1 End

#tssm peter parker #tssm tombstone #tssm #tssm doctor octopus #sinister six #spiderman #part 1

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