#discord crack

[starlitwishes]

TFW Someone destroys your entire life with just one sentence--

#muse: Wrenn #V; Maybe I've Had one Too Many #discord crack #Cori's Cyno and Wrenn were bantering because Wrenn was teasing Nari about having a sex life #and Cyno just gave Wrenn the biggest crisis by saying and I quote #''You act as if your comments are meant to irritate; but the way I see it; there is jealously lingering.'' #And it just completely yanked the rug from under Wrenn #Now he's screeching like #''OKAY BUT /AM/ I JEALOUS?!?!?! AM I????'' #dnsjfnjknfkds #Thre are two things he can be jealous about and neither of them are ''good'' things in his eyes #both imply the forbidden ''L'' word which is scarier than the forbidden ''F'' word #and he is Not Okay #dnskjfjkfnkjnfjkldsngks #goodbye Wrenn have fun with your crisis???

[renegaderobotics]

[I am very happy everyone is in agreement and on the same page!]

[The kinky boots were an interesting twist, though.]

#discord crack #Kai destroyed me on the spot with that

[auburnandamberangel]

'Armands silky hands are perfect soap muffs'

~ attested by Daniel Molloy pass it on

#dash commentary #outofauburn #discord crack #headcanon #tipsy blogging

[the-final-sif]

I need to hop back into my transformers bullshit for just a moment because I don't think they've had much interaction in canon, but I think it'd be really really funny if Tarn was actually terrified of Starscream.

Like, I dunno if MTMTE/IDW canon has confirmed Starscream's immortal spark for that particular series, but I'm going to assume it carries over. If so, it'd make Tarn's power basically useless against him.

In my ideal headcanon, Tarn got sick of Starscream's shit at some point and went against Megatron to try to murder him. He tried to do this subtly using his voice only for it to 100% not work even a little bit. He would've had this whole build up where he got Starscream alone and was attempting to be a dramatic bitch about the whole thing and build up to the murder and then-

And then it just doesn't work and there's a really awkward pause where Starscream is looking around kind of expecting something to happen when literally nothing does. Tarn is trying to keep a normal conversation going now while also attempting the murder again and again just for it to literally do nothing. Eventually Starscream gets sick of him being weird and walks out judging the guy.

It'd be so fucking funny particularly because Starscream having an immortal spark is generally totally unknown, so Tarn would have to assume that Starscream had found some way to render his ability useless, which is terrifying. Tarn is now extremely worried that Starscream somehow had a spy and found out what he was planning to do ahead of time. He might've even been able to get something into Tarn's head somehow to know his plan this well. Clearly that level of genius must be part of why Megatron keeps him around. Tarn was a fool for having attempted to disobey, and Starscream was clearly not a problem he could solve like this. What if Starscream reports this clear disobedience to Megatron? Tarn just tried and failed to kill the second in command! Starscream would have every right to demand his execution if he so desired, or save this as blackmail!

Tarn is just out of his mind spinning conspiracy theories and getting super high levels of paranoia about Starscream. Just doing whatever he can to not have to be in the same place as the guy. He runs under the assumption he's being blackmailed by Starscream for his attempt and does what he can to not cross the seeker.

Meanwhile from Starscream's perspective, Tarn showed up and had a very weird conversation where he kept raising his voice at random times and then nothing happened. Then the guy freaked out and got even more weird about it. He has no idea why this happened. He has no idea that Tarn is hiding from him. He thought it was weird and stopped thinking about it after a few days. Starscream's minding his own business and mostly forgot about this entire thing after two weeks meanwhile Tarn is having a mental breakdown about it for years.

#tarn idw #tarn #starscream #starscream idw #tarn mtmte #tf mtmte #transformers #crack #sif speaks #everyone who follows me for other stuff can ignore this #we were just talking about transformers in the drblr discord the other day #and it got me thinking about how funny this would be #also I know it was more fitting for megatron to kill tarn and everything #but it would've been really really funny in this au #if starscream showed up at the necroplanet for some reason #and tarn just fucking booked it out of there #literally NOBODY knows why he's so scared of starscream #meanwhile starscream was entirely there to be a bitch about something #and he's equally confused #idk I just think it'd be really really funny

[halfagone]

Plot Armor? In this economy?

One day the Joker dies. It's not a violent death by any means. It wasn't an intentional murder. It had been in public. The man had simply slipped and fallen funny. That was all. Yet people couldn't believe it. How could someone who had done all sorts of death defying feats and stunts go out in such a underwhelming way?

It's really just coincidence that a certain halfa is visiting Gotham at the same time… right?

Otherwise known as: Danny absorbs all the Gotham Rogues' plot armor thanks to presence alone so now whenever they try stupid shit they finally start seeing some consequences.

#dpxdc #dpxdc prompt #migrating over from discord #i have two modes #angst #and angst but make it crack #how do you think ll's ascent was created?

[aidaronan]

Welcome to the Lube Chute!

Some We're-A-Package-Deal Summer Job Stobin crack, dedicated to @griefabyss69. Also shout out to @wynnyfryd who said the Lube Chute sounded like the location of Stobin's next fail summer job after Family Video got destroyed. "No, I'm telling you, Steve. We have to say it every time."

"We have to say, 'Welcome to the Lube Chute, where our main goal is fillin' all your holes,' every time?"

"Every time." Robin shrugged her shoulders. "It's the whole 'ocean of flavor' thing all over again." She'd started at the Lube Chute a week before him, owing to his need to hover over Eddie while his body knitted itself back together. By the time Steve had decided Eddie could get to the fridge and the bathroom on his own, she had been deemed competent enough to show him the register and inventory procedures.

"Yeah, except 'ocean of flavor' was about ice cream," Steve said. "And this is about, you know, rubber dicks."

"That's the way of stupid retail, huh." Robin sighed dramatically and hopped upon the counter. Next to her sat an open box of flavored lubes. She picked up a pricing gun and started affixing them with stickers.

A few minutes later, the door dinged with the sound of someone pushing their way into the shop. A regular-looking latino man in jeans and a faded Zeppelin tee stepped into the shop.

Steve gave Robin a pleading look, and she pulled her lips thin in sympathy and mouthed, "sorry, your turn." God. Welp. He may as well rip off the Band-Aid.

"Welcome to the Lube Chute," Steve said flatly, "where our goal is fillin' holes."

The guy snorted softly and went on his way, moving toward a rack of adult video tapes. Meanwhile, Robin kept her head down, looking pointedly to where she'd slapped a $.3.99 label onto a bottle of Maxxx Slick Strawberry.

"Like obviously I don't care," she said. "But it is 'where our main goal is fillin' all your holes.'"

"Ugh." Steve rolled his eyes up at the ceiling. "Why is it, like, so long?"

Curling his chin back around, he found the customer at the counter holding Dr. Lovesmuscles's Foot Long Schlong. The customer looked between it and Steve before raising his eyebrows. Shit and fuck. For the first time in literally ever, Steve wished he was back in those tiny Scoops shorts.

"I wasn't... I didn't mean the... I..." Steve stared at the guy over the counter and then gave up on trying to explain, punching things into the register as fast as he could so he could end the interaction. "So for the video and the toy, that comes to $18.39 with tax."

Steve made made change for a $20, put the guy's things into a nondescript brown paper bag, and then bit back a groan when he realized he had to embarrass himself one more time before it was all over.

"Thank you for visiting the Lube Chute. Remember if the base ain't flared, it doesn't go up there. Have a nice day!"

Next to him, Robin coughed into her elbow. When Steve looked over, he found her reading the back of one of the lube bottles, this one watermelon flavored.

"What do you think potassium sorbate even is?" Robin asked. "I mean, I know what potassium is. I passed chem and got into college—go Wildcats. Just... potassium sorbate. What does it even do?"

Steve stared at her for a long moment and then snatched the pricing gun from her hand. #

It was late July. August loomed and with it so did the end of possibly their last summer job together. After this, they were both slated to leave Hawkins. Robin to Northwestern, Steve to Chicago to be near her (and because it made sense as a base for Eddie to work on growing his music career.)

On this particular Wednesday, they had a huge shipment of video tapes to go through. Other than the scantily clad and sometimes fully nude women on the covers, it felt a lot like being back at Family Video. They quickly priced and stocked the tapes that were for sale, and then they worked on storing the covers for the rentals and putting them in the rental cases and then into the system.

"God, Steve, I am just, like, so gay," Robin whispered under her breath for the fifth or sixth time as she stared wide-eyed at a VHS cover. On it, a redheaded woman stared into the camera, her breasts exposed, her hand disappearing down the front of her very thin white panties. "You do know you can just, like, check one of these out, right?" Steve asked. "You're an adult. No one would—" Steve cut himself off when the bell over the door jingled. Jumping at the sound, Robin almost dropped the tape, fumbling with it several times before Steve snatched it from the air and handed it back to her. She was blushing hard when she went to put it into the computer.

One crisis averted, Steve turned toward the door to find one of the owners coming in. Shit.

Steve had slacked off on the welcome and goodbye phrases over the course of the summer because, well, he didn't want to say them. And now he wasn't sure he even remembered them properly. Shit, shit, shit.

He smiled and nodded as the owner approached the counter. Stephanie was a sleek, blonde woman who looked nothing like the kind of person you might expect to own a sex shop.

"Order come in okay?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, one damaged tape so far," Steve said. "Definitely an improvement over the last order."

'If the base is too...' No, that wasn't it.

"Love to hear that since I spent 3 hours yelling at the distributor after that incident."

'Where we fill holes for...' Definitely not.

"Yeah, right, sucked for us too beca—" Steve froze as a customer walked into the shop. He looked over at Robin, hoping to catch her eyes for a save, but she was laser-focused on sorting another box of tapes into alphabetical order for processing.

Fuck. Steve smiled at the incoming customer. Okay, he could do this. Deep breath, winning smile. "Welcome to the Lube Chute, where our main goal is fillin' all your holes."

Robin inhaled a deep gasp right around the same time that Stephanie burst into raucous laughter, throwing her head back and exposing her slender throat. In another life where he wasn't already tits over ass for Eddie Munson, he would've had to fall a little in love with her.

"Oh my God, that is too good." Stephanie wiped tears form her eyes with her thumbs and then giggled a few more times. "Jesus, Steve. Did you come up with that on your own?"

"Wha—?" Steve snapped his eyes over to Robin, who had her teeth set in grimace that would have been comedic at any other time. Shoulders pulled up around her ears, her eyes bled with apology.

Steve clenched his jaw and turned back to Stephanie, slipping into the most suave persona he could muster under those conditions. "Oh, you know, just thought you'd get a kick out of it."

"Well, you were right about that." Stephanie shook her head and grabbed the money bag to take it to the bank. "'Fillin' holes!" She laughed again on her way out the door.

Steve watched like a hawk as her car pulled out of the parking lot and then rounded on Robin, voice low as the customer browsed the "New Videos!" display.

"You told me we HAD to say..."

"Oh my God, I was gonna tell you after, like, a week, but then you stopped doing it on your own, so I just kinda..." Robin made a wobbly gesture with both hands, and Steve sighed deeply.

"You're walking home today," he said, but they both knew he didn't mean it, especially when his lunch break rolled around and he saved her half his orange as usual. # It was still July, and they could see the customer approaching from the parking lot. "Steve," Robin said. "Steve, please." "I want to point out that it's your own fault that you have to do this now, officially, as part of company policy. Because Stephanie liked it so much." "Steve, but..." Steve jutted his hip out against the counter and crossed his arms, waiting. With the same put-upon sigh he'd grown used to at Scoops and Family Video, Robin drew herself up taller and slapped her hands down on either side of the register. Through the front door, a fat woman with curly brown hair stepped into the shop. Robin beamed at her. "Welcome to the Lube Chute! Where our main goal is fillin' all your holes."

#crack treated seriously #stobin #this started as a joke on the Discord and then I was told I needed to put something on tumblr for the masses #when you embarrass your bestie for the bit and it backfires

[outofcontextdiscord]

#discord #discord chat #out of context discord #submission #food #tw food #I love my boyfriend but holy shit he's showing me on camera him death gripping raw pasta at the ass crack of night #< submitter tags #admin boa

[nightshiftshenanigans]

Hey y’all! I hope you enjoy this new lil comfort piece. This is my best attempt at crack not treated seriously. Enjoy!!😃

#batpham #dpxdc #danny phantom #haunting heroes #dpxdc discord server #dpxdc fics #dcxdp #crack fic

[clockwayswrites]

Tim Jr., Coffee Machine Extraordinaire

The Start (Edit: this not a prompt! I am writing this one shot! I'm just sharing the start here.)

Dick worried his lip between his teeth as he looked Tim over. His little brother was standing, zombie-like, in front of the Cave’s coffee machine.

Not that was unusual.

The thing was, Tim had been doing better. His dark circles had been fading, his snippy moments less often, his focus better, and he’d even been putting on some much needed weight. Dick had been so proud (as had Alfred and Bruce). But now the circles were darkening again and Tim was staring at the coffee machine like he used to— like it was his only salvation.

Jason stepped up to Dick’s side, joining him in the bird watching.

“Hey Timbit,” Jason said, breaking the silence of the moment. Trust Jason to get down to it.

“Hum?”

“What happened to your hand?”

Tim blinked down at his gauze wrapped hand as if he had forgotten about the injury. Not a good sign with Tim. Dick was betting on over 48 hours without proper sleep at this point.

“Oh.” Tim said, the exclamation was emotionless. “Tim Jr. Bit me.”

Dick and Jason exchanged looks. Who now?

“Um, did you get a pet, baby bird?” Dick gently asked.

“Hum?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Who’s Tim Jr., Timberino.”

“Oh.” Tim said. The brothers waited impatiently for Tim’s brain to roll over. “My coffee maker. Little brat refused to make me any…”

“Okay, yep, alright. No patrol for you tonight Timtam.” Jason said with a clap of his hands.

#dp x dc #just not really seeing the dp yet #brain dead #brain dead ship #dead tired #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #i blame discord for this 100% #the closest to crack I'll ever write #this will prob go straight to ao3 after this #not a prompt #phandom i love you but not everything is a prompt just because we share it publicly #i clearly tag anything that is a prompt #tim jr coffee machine

[blackkatdraws]

Comfort aftermath after the accident 💗

ft. @deviousnarrator and @indigo-art Narrators :D

#he's still a bit cracked but he's healing! :) #he'll be fine #Indigo comfoted him first and then Devious came to say sorry and joined in #this was based off of a silly little discord chat with us #NOT SHIP ART #they're just hanging out #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #the stanley parable #tspud #tsp #tsp narrator #narrator tsp #paraverse #narratorverse #tsp artists appreciation #mine 💗

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

incorrect good omens, with quotes from my maggot-infested discord server.

Thank you @lxvenderjewel for the idea TRULY iconic.

These are just the screenshots I already had saved. There's so much gold in that server.

Thank you very much @patoslover @queermarzipan @good-usernames-were-taken @howmanyholesinswisscheese @voids-ideas and Crist the Corinthian idk your tumblr username but yes the saucy boy.

I'm so pleased with myself. If any of you are tempted to join the totally normal server, the link is in my pinned post, at your own discretion.

#good omens mascot #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #now with a discord server #the official maggots server of doom #WHY DO I KEEP USING TWO TAGS FUCK #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omemes #good omens crack #good omens incorrect quotes #good omens text post #well #discord message post?

[whumpninja]

Me as a whumper: “You know, I think there’s just too many whumpers in the torture chamber. Too many hands on the knife, as it were. Two’s company, three’s a crowd, and any more than that and you have to start signing NDAs and hurting people. Er…more people.”

#whump #crack whump #jack be whumpy #this was inspired off a convo in the Discord server

[maniacjohnny]

80s WORKOUT MS BITTERS

blame the discord for these

#let’s get physical #jhonen vasquez #invader zim #jthm #iz #my art #ickachris #crack art #IM SORRY #BLAME THE DISCORD #ms bitters #wet bitters wednesday

[zorosleftmantit101]

One piece characters as shit we have said in the Discord

Luffy: Next kid i see i recon im just gonna throw a brick at them

Good ol cinderblock to the head never hurt nobody

Zoro: Giving 100 men the best head of their life - mr beast probably

Sanji: Ok lesbians im gonna go fist my ass brb

Nami: I think florida is where they send everybody who has has a labotamy

Robin: Mr beast flavoured kindey stones

Law: I think florida is where they send everybody who has has a labotamy

Ace: Dad its 6:00 time to throw beer

bottles at me

Killer: Fill your pockets full of spiders then throw them at small children

Kid: Ill do that with shards of glass

Sabo: I will revoke your skin privileges, don't test me

Buggy: I lost my gender in the war

Shanks: This is American, we made it chuckle fuck

To join the Discord and talk abt one piece, bum sex, my bad spelling and fanfics click HERE!

#zorosleftmantit #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece funny #headcanon #one piece x you #crack post #monkey d luffy #one piece discord #discord chat #discord

[ariadne-mouse]

just a little FLIRting, (Forward Looking InfraRed)

a scene from the fire kept closest (burns most of all), aka Volcaleb, a spooky shadowgast AU

#ariadne draws CR #fic: volcaleb #the recent surge of readership inspired me to draw! thanks everyone who has read/kudos'd/commented this wild crack-treated-seriously #and thank you discord friends for the art feedback and pointers! #shadowgast #(feels odd to tag it that when they're not intuitively recognizable in the image but this is indeed them per the fic) #critical role #op #c2

[halfagone]

Here's a Pure Crack idea:

For one reason or another, Jack and Maddie get divorced. They end their marriage on mostly amicable terms, but it's no secret things are a little awkward now. To make the process easier, Jack agrees to live somewhere else temporarily until Maddie can figure out where she wants to go. Jack gets to keep Fenton Works in the divorce agreement. He ends up staying with Vlad for a time, because Vlad thinks he can use this to break down Jack's confidence and humiliate him. This does not happen. Instead, the next thing they know, they're in a relationship and later on, elope.

Meanwhile, Maddie got full custody of Danny (Jazz was already an adult by this point) and decided to move them out to Gotham City. Where she meets the illustrious billionaire Bruce Wayne. The two fall in love and then eventually get engaged.

A party is held in Gotham and Vlad Masters is invited, so of course he has to bring his new husband along. Bruce obviously has to attend too. He is called Prince of Gotham after all.

Jack and Maddie are now meeting each other again, possibly for the first time since Maddie moved out.

Somewhere in the distance, Danny is sobbing.

#dpxdc #dpxdc prompt #migrating this over from discord #i am on my crack treated seriously era