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#tipsy blogging
alley-asylum · 1 year
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relicmemories · 2 years
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Oh, I still think of you, reader.
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em1ree · 1 year
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i really was not thinking when i opened a bottle of prosecco on tuesday and now i've spent every day of this week trying to finish it before it goes flat, thus resulting in me getting drunk every night
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auburnandamberangel · 2 years
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'Armands silky hands are perfect soap muffs'
~ attested by Daniel Molloy pass it on
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falsewings · 5 months
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Gonna write a supernatural fic called Dean Dies at the End
But first, I gotta read the book John Dies at the End
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cleeksfire · 11 months
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I hope hackers have a field day with Muskys brain chip
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californiatowhee · 2 months
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old fashioneds and tipsy daydreaming
bonus: the subsequent drunk texting
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extra bonus, if you made it this far: what happens next, in fic form (spoiler: Phoenix and Miles kiss)
Behavioral Phenomenon | Phoenix/Edgeworth | 2.5k
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ricegrains-n-rosess · 2 years
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ngl getting absolutely bombed out of my skull drunk on somewhat stolen wine and listening to russian goth/darkwave is kinda the only reason i’m still going bc life rlly can be enjoyable sometimes 
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plotweaver · 2 years
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dammit if acid reflux aint a bitch
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fridaypls · 24 days
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Just A Drunk Halsin Appreciation Post
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Halsin is canonically a lightweight when it comes to drinking; he'll tell you that when he gets tipsy, he starts singing and declaring his love. Apparently, when he gets drunk, he turns into the bear by accident.
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em1ree · 8 months
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currently (and always): drunk, listening to reputation, and thinking of steve n tony
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eyes-of-nine · 8 months
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both mcr and tumblr are in this movie.
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Parenting pro tip!
Everything is easier if you're a little tipsy
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cleeksfire · 1 year
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I just think Marian Hawke and Jane Shepard 💜
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etoilesombre · 6 months
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"Fucking would fix them" "Fucking would make them worse"
Well them fucking would fix ME, anybody ever stop to think about that?
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mariatesstruther · 3 months
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okay just hear me out modern au where tommy ends up picking up ellie from pre school almost everyday since joel is busy but he keeps meeting teacher maria
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okay bestie as a preschool teacher you GOT me with this one. like you got me SO GOOD. this might actually get published to ao3, you got me soooo fuckin’ good right now. i have so many unnecessary details for such a simple plot so here’s a cut
tbh i feel like even as busy as joel is, he’d prioritize picking up and dropping of sarah as much as he can, so maybe he and tommy would alternate???? so on days when tommy drops off, joel picks up and when joel drops off, tommy picks up. sarah goes to a public preschool with a lot of kids, so she gets easily overwhelmed and sometimes needs extra cuddles or kind words in the mornings to make it out of the car.
one monday, a couple months into school, sarah is particularly VERY anxious because there’s a new teacher to replace ms. doherty, who quit unexpectedly on friday “because she said we gave her alooooottt of headaches, daddy.” now, sarah knows nothing about the new teacher except that shes a girl from a place called new york—and sarah doesn’t even know what new yawk IS like, thats So Far Away??? (“it’s not really that far, baby,” joel says to her. “and it’s new york. with an o sound.”) still, sarah is VERY concerned:
is new yawk like another planet???? (no, babygirl.) but what if she’s an alien???? (the school only hires human teachers, baby. they promised.) but what if she’s a SECRET alien??? (she won’t be, i promise.) okay but what if she’s mean???? (if she is, you tell me or tommy and we’ll talk to her about it, okay? she shouldn’t be mean to you.) what if she doesn’t play good music at quiet time???? (you can ask her nicely and i bet she will, baby. just say please and thank you, okay?)
still, even with her questions answered, sarah is very nervous on monday. both joel and tommy go with her in an effort to start her day off extra good, especially because joel can’t pick her up. they reassure her that new york has plenty of nice people and her new teacher will probably be one of them. she also gets TWO WHOLE extra minutes of cuddle time with BOTH of them before she and daddy have to leave the car—it’s half for her and half for them, because they’re honestly pretty anxious for her to like her new teacher too
joel is the one to hold sarah’s hand and walk her inside, because the school prefers only one guardian to drop off at a time. tommy’s nervous, but joel actually seems pretty pleased when he gets back to the car with no sarah in tow. surprisingly, he’s back faster than any time they’ve ever dropped sarah off before. with a proud smile, he tells tommy is that miss maria seems really nice. more importantly, she’s Black, which joel says Sarah got really excited about. tommy pries for more details, and he’s glad he does: apparently miss maria has locs, a few even blue and purple, and the first thing sarah’d said to her was an emphatic “😲😍🤩 i like your hair!!!!!!!!,” to which she had responded “thank you! i like your hair! what’s your name, sweets?” and that’d been that
later, when tommy does pickup that day, he doesn’t know what to expect. most times at the end of the day, sarah is super reserved and a bit cranky, eager to get home to finally have time to herself. tommy’s goal is usually to try and get her to at least wave goodbye to her teachers like joel asks—but, more often than not, she opts for reaching for uppies and hiding her face in his chest until they leave.
today??? no. it takes sarah a full two minutes to even notice tommy’s there because her and this drop-dead-fucking-gorgeous woman in a soft-looking lavender pants and blouse set are finishing up a painting at the easel wall. they’re working on what looks like a brown and purple butterfly, probably the most carefully shaped sarah’s ever made.
tommy’s heart stops when this goddess miss maria finally looks over at him and smiles with perfect pearly-whites, waving him over behind sarah’s back. when she says “sarah honey, i think someone’s here for you!” in her sing-songy toddler-tone, tommy swears an angel gets his wings. sarah turns around, shrieks with joy upon seeing him, and runs down to him with her arms out, yelling all the while: “THOMMYYYYYYY!!!!!”—because sarah’s still working on her hard ts—“thommy!!!! thommy thommy thommy come look!!! i made a butterfly for u!!!!! look!!!!! it matches ms. maria!!!!!! it’s gorgeous!!!!” (she’s been obsessed with calling things gorgeous ever since she heard tommy say it about a harley motorbike last week. joel especially thinks it’s cute, especially because of how she over-emphasizes the j-sound: gor-Jus.)
tommy’s never seen her so excited to show her art off at pickup-time before; usually, she waits until they’re home and she’s feeling less shy to start showing off, but she’s babbling and pointing to it as he picks her up and sets her on his hip: “it’s brown and purple like miss maria!!! isnt it so gorgeous, unca thommy??? do you like it???? aren’t they SO gorgeous????”
and now miss maria is looking at him. and he’s looking at her. tommy knows he’s blushing, and he hesitates—which sarah does NOT appreciate, so she says: “unca tommy!!!!!!! don’t be WUDE! thell miss maria she’s gorgeous!!! she is!!!”
luckily, miss maria saves him by explaining, in a slightly firmer teaching voice: “sarah sweets, that’s okay! we’re only just meeting, and that’s not really something you say to a stranger, okay?”
“but why noooooooot?? you are gorgeous! like my butterfly! isn’t she so gorgeous, thommy?”
“well, yeah, of course,” tommy agrees easily, because she obviously is—and shit. now miss maria is looking at him like he’s a fucking bonehead, because he obviously fucking is. “but—uh, i mean—she’s right, hon’. you gotta listen to your teacher, and that’s not somethin’ you say to a stranger, okay?”
but then, after thinking to her tiny self for a few seconds: “well if she stays my teacher then she’s not a stranger, is she???” sarah asks tommy, then turns her conniving little head towards maria, too. “and you said you’d stay! so can he say you’re gorgeous tomorrow?” then, without waiting for an answer, she’s back towards tommy to finish: “i think you should call her gorgeous tomorrow.”
“i think we should go home, s’what i think,” tommy says, finally deciding to save himself from four-year-old torment. he sets sarah down and pats her on the end with a gentle but firm request to go get her stuff from her cubby, which she goes to do without her complaints of being too tired to walk. maria watches them closely with a close-lipped but relaxed grin. when sarah’s out of earshot, he apologizes. “sorry ‘bout that, ma’am.”
“don’t be,” miss maria teases, crossing her arms. “you did call me gorgeous, after all. i’ve had worse introductions.”
“tommy miller,” he offers, moving to shake her hand. he notices her nails are done-up, a sparkly blend of pretty shades of purple that look tie-dyed on somehow. her hands aren’t soft, not really, but they’re smooth enough to make him shiver as he pulls away. “sarah’s uncle.”
“oh, i know,” she reassures, then nods her head pointedly towards sarah. the little one is coming back towards them with her lunchbox in one hand and her water bottle in the other, walking extra careful so she doesn’t trip over herself like she did last week, tommy guesses. clearly fond, maria continues. “she spent all day telling me about you and her daddy. you’re doing great with her.”
“unca thommy! i’m ready to go!” sarah sing-songs, interrupting whatever miss maria might’ve said next. internally, tommy thanks his niece—the you’re doing great was already enough to make him cry, and he’d rather not do so in front of either her or her amazing new teacher. plopping her lunch and bottle at tommy’s feet, sarah gives not one, but two eager waves to miss maria, hands flapping madly up towards the woman’s face. “bye miss mariaaaaa!!!! i’ll see you tomorrow!!!!”
“bye sarah sweets!” maria says back, waving just as enthusiastically. to tommy, she raises an amused, teasing eyebrow. just loud enough for him to hear as he turns away, he hears her say “bye, gorgeous,” and laugh, giving yet another angel a pair of wings.
it takes everything in him to not fall straight to the floor, toppling his own precious niece, right then. he doesn’t think he even breathes until both he and Sarah are secured in the car, him in the front and her in her carseat. she’s already babble singing mary j. blige’s “just fine,” which they usually play and sing on their way home from school to help her regulate. when he plays the song this time, sarah smiles bright at him through the rearview and says “i already feel just fine, unca tommy!!! but can we still play it, just for fun?”
“of course, baby,” he says, and start singing along with her. he’s feeling just fine, too.
🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
tagging some homies (btw just let me know if u wanna be tagged in this kinda stuff or not guys! im never sure lol): @becomethesun @clickergossip @boilingcowboy @bumblepony
#tbh i might edit this and put it on ao3#im so sorry i didnt get ti the falling in love part at all but i LOVE a good meet-cute#*to#and this is i think my favorite one i’ve put on this blog???????#anon. bestie. you did so well i love u thank u#if yall didnt know already im a preschool teacher so#and​ have i dreamed abt a rich hot younger single parent/gaurdian falling in love with me???? you fuckin betcha#preschool au#im 100% gonna try to connect this with the one rose and i already made#idk where ellie is in here but she’s here!!!! she loves miss maria too!#miss maria loves kids and especially loves embracing neurodiversity and all the different ways kids brains works#miss maria provides brain breaks and shows you how to do body checks to check in with your body#miss maria understands the importance of diversity in her book and media selection#miss maria recommends tab time and bluey#tommy x maria#tlou au#the tipsy bison#ugh I LOVE THISSSSSS BROOOO IM PROUD OF THIS 🫶🏾#yeas i have plans for tess and joel YOU BET I DO#when ur kids having play dates turns into u dating their mom#tess and joel: who am i gonna date??? i have no time. im a parent#ellie and sarah: hold my juicebox#like theyre fully setting them up with no clue that they’re doing it I LOVE MY LITTLE GIRLS#she calls them sarah sweets and ellie enchanted#she’s referencing ella enchanted but elie doesnt care about that so she explains it means ellie is magic#and ellie is down for that because in her brain magic equal dragon. ellie LOVES dragons#sarah miller#toddler sarah#baby sarah#neurodivergent miller tag
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