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#didnt actually have to do any tho thankfully
cj-kenobi · 2 years
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"how was your trip?"
how wasn't my trip good fucking lord
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orcelito · 2 years
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Laid flat by pt lol
Not looking forward to my 7-8 hour shift lol
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toast-on-dandelioms · 4 months
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What if m/c had been accepted for a scholarship abroad and just ended up stayinv there becoming the resident hero ? They did keep in regular contact with Alfred tho, seeing as he was the only family member who didnt ignore them.
Ok that is interesting and for this (which is not in the storyline in part 4) I will add another hero or two instead of Superman since he's not THAT special.
Small disclaimer: I am not sure if Green Arrow lives in Central City and where I searched told me he lives there so don't come at me that it's wrong please (I changed it to Star City so if you see it changed here is the answer)
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This is based two years before you entered highschool so when you were 13 and already in Bruce's Manor.
You were there for a year and after suffering so much from Damian's tormenting you and everyone just ignoring you made you so tired and you wanted, no, needed to leave the manor and city.
You knew it was drastic but you couldn't do it anymore, you missed your mother and being sent to a home where people detest you just for existing made you feel so bad you couldn't even leave your room without a panic attack at the thought of being hurt by Damian's words or weapons or being ignored by everyone when you tried to say anything.
You applied to a few scholarship far away from Gotham to enter some prestigious schools in different cities so you could spread your choices if you got accepted.
You didn't say anything to Alfred until you received many scholarships and you chose the one in Star City, wanting to be as far away as possible from Gotham and the Waynes.
The only problem was getting Alfred to accept to send you there since he was the boss in the house, not Bruce.
You knew Bruce wouldn't care if he sent you somewhere else but you didn't want him to know where you would be going but still needed his money since you were a thirteen year old with no job or an allowance.
Thankfully Bruce just signed it without looking when Alfred showed him some random papers and off you went to your new life in Star City.
As years passed you became more social since you weren't held down by the neglect of the Waynes and you were around people who actually sought you out and didn't completely ignore you.
You kept dancing and sent all of yours training practices, plus all your small and big dance recitals to Alfred so he could see you dance since he couldn't come to every single one of them and you didn't blame him.
When you turned 15 you found a part-time job at a science company where they allowed you to work on your experiments with the supervision of an another scientist.
Unfortunately (or fortunately) you got bit by a radioactive spider that escaped from the same scientist who was supposed to supervise you and gave you the spider abilities.
Which did worry you but you learned to control your newfound superhuman strenght and also your weird sticking to surfaces and walking on walls.
Did it take a while? Yes, but it was worth it.
You also decided to become a vigilante because why not? Why not put your life in danger every night just to not receive any money compensation from it?
You're not as active as your alterego in Gotham since you actually have friends here and you're not held down by years of neglect which pushed you to help people.
You helped people whenever you could and one night, during a patrol you accidentally bumped into Green Arrow and fought with him for a while before both of you realised neither of you two were villains.
You did apologise and after a few more encounters and you pulling some pranks on Oliver because he was an easy target to prank, like come on. The man wears green and has an arrow. You can't not prank that man and call him Robin Hood.
You became his little helper, got his phone number and helped him with some villains whenever you could and especially if he let you.
You also trained your fighting with him, which got you beat up and with so many black eyes that you had to beg him to not hit your face since you couldn't keep worrying your friends and dance instructor since they were starting to ask questions and you couldn't fool them forever.
You also met Roy, aka Speedy, while on a mission with Oliver and also got along with him despite his hatred for Oliver and gained a new older brother.
After a year of helping Oliver around and training to fight decently and not only use your superhuman strenght, he finally let you come to a Justice League meeting.
You met Batman and Damian there, along with Superman and Jon to which you tried to get along with but the two of them were extremely clingy and knew a bit too much about you which creeped you out.
During the meeting you stayed very close to Oliver to avoid the two teens and also hide from Batman and Superman since they kept staring at you even while talking.
After the meeting Batman did try to approach you and you avoided him, but while walking away he just said "(Y/N)", which made you stop before walking off.
You immediately knew that he knew who you were under the mask but you didn't care that he knew.
You just ignored him and his calls, plus his sons calls. You refused to even give him a bit of attention, especially since he didn't bother you for years but now they wanted your attention?
God no, you still had dignity and self respect. Giving them attention would be like forgiving them for all those years of not even knowing you existed.
Finally the calls stopped but they started to appear everywhere you went in Central City.
You went to school? You were called in the principal office where Bruce was and scolded you lightly about putting your mother's last name when it should have been his.
Your hand started to bleed from how hard you were gripping it so you wouldn't yell at the man in front of the principal.
What you hated more was the look of love Bruce had when he scolded you, gently patting your head as he talked.
You showered at least three times before you finally felt clean after feeling Bruce touch you so lovingly.
Everywhere you went as you or as Spider, you would be met by either Bruce or one of his kids, which got even more frustrating when they would try to coax you to come back home to Gotham.
Dick would try to coax you, too into his delusional idea that you were being forced to stay here with Green Arrow even though you told him many times that it wasn't true.
He would also manipulate you by fake crying whenever you yelled at him or ignored him, making you even more frustrated because he kept on caring about himself and didn't see how you were happy in Star City.
Jason would just follow you and talk like you never left, complaining about Bruce or Damian and offered to go to a café or restaurant to catch up and see what you were up to.
Even yelling at him that he didn't care when you left didn't budge him and made him give up. No, it made him even more persistent on trying to act like you two were close and a happy family.
You also had to slam the door in Tim's face so many times whenever he would knock at the door of your apartment, you had to replace the doorknob and locks too many times to count from Tim picking the locks and you destroying the doorknob from your strenght.
Plus, arriving home to relax and seeing both Tim and Bruce in your apartment with dinner made you sick but you had to endure since you couldn't afford to change apartments since it was in the best position in the city.
Oh but Damian was the worst. He would act like he never hurt you sometimes or other times used his own past as a way to show that he had it worse than you.
Did you throw him off a building when he said that? Yes but unfortunately for you, Jon was there to catch him which made you even more frustrated.
Clark? He was decent sometimes, you met him before when he talked with Oliver and you were around but you always got a creepy vibe from him.
Especially when he kept on staring at you or gave you things like small trinkets you saw but never bought. It was so creepy that he knew what you liked, plus he kept on calling you nicknames like a father would do to his child.
Jon wasn't that bad. He did leave you alone when you asked but he also helped you. The only problem was that he acted like you were his older brother/sister and talked about times you two were together when you distinctly remember being alone when you did those things.
You did call Alfred once, he was the only one you told that you were Spider since he kept on asking why you were always full of bruises on your face and arms and you couldn't lie to him.
The call did not go well, with you yelling at Alfred that he ruined it since now Bruce knew who you were and he ruined your once happy life just because he wanted you back home.
After a while of seeing Bruce and his kids and them trying to manipulate you into going back home, plus Clark and Jon, you decided to go to the only person you trusted the most in Star City.
You went to Green Arrow and confessed to everything, you told him about your mother's death and how you were suddenly sent to a family who couldn't care less about you.
You didn't hide that you were Bruce's biological child and also showed him your scars that Damian made in the year he tormented you.
At the end of the confession you were crying, the memories of Damian hurting you with all the neglect and blatant hatred towards you made you breakdown in an ugly cry.
You kept crying even when Oliver hugged you, hugging him back with all your might as you didn't want him to leave you.
You did admit that you thought many times on going back since they kept on insisting and you weren't that strong, you couldn't resist forever with all that pressure.
By saying that, you felt Oliver freeze for a second before hugging you back and holding you close, like you hugging him with your super strength didn't faze him one bit.
What you didn't feel was the tiny prick of a needle being inserted in your neck, the only thing you last heard before collapsing in Oliver's arms were "sorry kid, can't let you leave me"
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aidensixeye · 20 days
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haiiiiiiiii just wanna req a smut fic of btm trans ftm reader and nanami in an established healthy relationship where nanami came home late after work bc he was forced to work overtime (he despises overtime) AND HES VERY FRUSTRATED and pent up maybe... and wanted to cool off by just eating his husband's 🐱 out bc he hasnt had dinner yet ykwim HHAHAHA and then go all soft for aftercare.... ggrgggrrrr m so delusional...
its jujutsu 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 (btw u can do this req anytime u want even tho this is like a cliche req but i wanna see on ur perspective how u write abt this!!! take ur time if needed ya!! have an orange while ur at it 🍊)
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⠀⧽⠀⌢⌢⠀"i'm starving."﹕nanami x trans!male reader
⠀⧽⠀⌢⌢⠀summary﹕nanami had to work overtime and came home hungry, so he decided to have you as his dinner.
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⠀⧽⠀⌢⌢⠀notes & warnings﹕use of "cunt" on the reader, first time writing descriptive smut so it may be bad, oral being given & received, breeding/creampie, mention of reader getting pregnant (only used as dirty talk, though), overstimulation, reader has hip dips, nanami just being a man of consent, soft aftercare
⠀⧽⠀⌢⌢⠀word count﹕2.4k
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the sound of nanami’s stomach growling, followed by a sigh from the man, was damn near enough to make him go insane. if he gripped his steering wheel any tighter, he might’ve popped a vein.
images were racing through his mind, teeth gritting, his focus set awry from you. ‘focus on driving, nanami. you're almost there,’ he told himself over and over like a matra. but he couldn't focus. what was your goal, sending him pictures of yourself like that, knowing he was working overtime?
he was starving. on one hand, for actual food, but another, he didn't want food, he just wanted you.
overtime didn't make it better, either. not to mention, gojo made it his personal mission go bother him as much as he could. but thankfully, all his annoyances were set aside (sort of) as he finally pulled into the driveway, getting out of his car and slamming the door. unintentionally of course, he was usually gentle with such things as to not damage them or wear them down quickly.
the front door opening made you perk up from your spot on the bed. you were on your phone, laying on bed, but now you sat upright, patiently waiting for your husband to come in.
nanami didn't exactly walk in and scoop his husband up like normal, muttering sweet nothings, complaining about his day. instead, he walked in, dipping two fingers in his tie to loosen it, then hastily grabbing your legs to pull your body closer to his own. you let out a surprised yelp, awkwardly chuckling.
“(name.)” he started, his voice firm, which made you tense a bit.
“um.. yes, nanami?”
“i'm starving.”
“i can go get you something, i know traffic is bad. or i can c-”
“no,” he interrupted you, jaw clenched, and hands pulling off your shorts. you, of course, knew what he meant by now and knew what to expect. nanami didn't even need to say anything further, he was looking at you like you were prey and he was ready to eat you alive (which he was).
before you could even blink, your shirt was pushed up but not taken off, boxers laying on the ground, and nanami was tearing his clothes off as well. he didn't have plans to go straight to sex though, not him. he's a patient man who waited long enough to have you in the palm of his hands, and he’d be damned if he didnt savor every moment, if he didnt savor every bit of you. right now, he needed you like water, and seeing the hunger - almost desperation - in his eyes turned you on.
“you're already wet.”
“well.. you're already hard!”
a brow raised, testing you to keep talking, which you didn't.
“can i?” he inquired. he already knew the answer, but he liked to hear you say what you want him to do.
“for fuck’s sake- yes, of course! c’mon, nanami, just get to it!” now you were the desperate one. it was ironic, a smile pulling at the sorcerer’s lips.
he laid down on the bed next to you, your curious eyes watching and following his every move, but you didn't quite catch the way his sneaky hands pulled you onto his chest, then adjusted both your positions to pull your cunt right over his face.
you were shocked at the position. quite honestly, he’d never done the sixty nine position with you, he just ate you out whilst prepping you, let you suck him off (if he didnt pin you to the bed beforehand), then it went to penetrative sex.
his tongue dragging along your clit, fingers digging into the soft skin of your hip dips, sent a shiver down your spine. you weren't sure what to do now, hips attempting to jerk against his lips, but to no avail thanks to his strong grip.
“suck me off, sweetheart.” his voice was like honey to you, a whine leaving your lips as you moved your body down to follow his order. as soon as the tip of his cock was in your mouth, you felt his tongue dip into your hole. your brain fogged for a moment, moaning against his length, which made him groan from the vibration.
with every lick, suck, and “mmm” nanami would give, you would try your best to suck him off. your head bobbed up and down, tongue dragging along his veins, trying your hardest to deepthroat him. sadly, you had to use your hand for whatever your throat couldn't take.
nanami was a gentleman too. a bit of a sadist when it came to sex, but still a gentleman. he knew you were insecure of your chest sometimes, so he would leave your shirt on for you so you could decide if you wanted it on or off. he wouldn't force his entire cock in your mouth because he knew your limits, although sometimes he did enjoy using your mouth if you let him.. the way you cried and gagged around his dick was too good. but, he’d never go against your wishes, so he always asks just to be sure.
you thought so fondly of your husband, just as he thought so fondly of you.
immediately, your thoughts were interrupted by a finger slipping in your hole, your free hand gripping at his thigh like a lifeline. your bobbing stopped, pulling off his cock with a ‘pop’, and trying to catch your breath.
“nanami, please..” you didn't even know what you were begging for. more of him, maybe? another finger? more of his tongue? neither of you knew, but the only thing on your mind was him.
… and the way he stopped the moment you did. this bastard!
“keep sucking me off if you want more.”
you frowned, then huffed, but complied and stuffed your mouth full with his cock again. your head moved up, down, up down, over and over.
“good boy, (name). very good.”
you could hear the shitty smirk in his voice, and it made you more wet - if you could even get more wet.
another finger slipped inside your cunt, both his digits thrusting inside of you while he bit, sucked, and nibbled at the back of your legs. you were in pure ecstasy, thighs trembling slightly already.
his tongue was one thing, but the way his fingers curled, thrusted, and stretched you out so perfectly was surreal. it was pure ecstasy, and nanami knew every button to press, every sensitive spot of yours, every string to pull to make you moan and cum for him. he knew everything about your body at this point, using that to his advantage, of course. how couldn't he? with the way you squirm and beg for him?
“wait, nanami-” you interrupted your own sentence by cumming, a loud moan leaving you. he didn't even notice how you stopped sucking him off, he was too engrossed in fingering you.
he frowned, though. he wanted to taste your cum on his tongue, but alas, he’d have to lick it off his fingers. then eat you out again, of course.
even though he didn't get to cum yet, he didn't mind waiting, his fingers pulling out of you to lick them clean. as soon as they were licked off, he moved your body and sat up. you were soon laid on your back, legs spread, confusion spreading across your features.
then, you watched as nanami lowered his head once more between your thighs and started licking between your folds. your back arched, crying out from the overstimulation, hands grabbing at his hair and pulling lightly. he ignored it though, his thumbs spreading your cunt apart for his eyes to see, tongue licking up and then sucking on your clit.
you had turned into a mess. squirming, moaning, whimpering, grabbing anywhere and anything you could, yet nanami somehow managed to keep you still long enough for you to reach another orgasm.
this time, he got to really taste you, his tongue lapping up your juices like a thirsty man. your body was trembling and spazzing, chest heaving up and down with each breath.
“there, now im full.” he smiled, standing up. he pulled your body closer to his, your ass nearly hanging off the bed, then he lifted your hips just a bit.
“ah- nanami, wait, please.. let me catch my breath.”
“of course.” one of his hands moved to caress your cheek, then grab at one of your hands, bringing your knuckles up to your lips. he let you calm down, your body relaxing more, moving your hand up to cup his cheek, which he leaned into.
“you can go ahead now.”
without wasting much time, he lined his cock up to your entrance, then pushed in. he didn't move too fast so you could adjust, but he certainly wasn't slow with it either. once he bottomed out, he lets you really adjust, hearing your whines and whimpers.
your hands gripped at the bed sheets beneath you, eyes squeezing shut.
“look at me, (name). i want you to see me when i start to fuck you.”
you slowly opened your eyes to watch him, the both of you making eye contact as he began to move his hips. you had to refrain from letting your eyes flutter closed again, moaning out.
it was all too much, but also not enough at the same time. nanami filled you up so good and made sure you felt loved.
his thrusts began to quicken, hands roaming along your body as he fucked into you. it made your body tingle.
“can i- shit- can i take your shirt off?” he breathed out, pulling at your shirt, to which you nodded. he nearly tore it off of you, then pulled your legs up to rest your ankles on his shoulders, giving him a much better angle to drive his cock into your cunt.
“you feel so good, my love.. so tight.” his vice was breathy and almost whiny, mesmerized by the way your body jolted each time his hips met yours, the way beads of sweat formed around your body and your hair stuck to your forehead, and the way your mouth hung open, just letting any noise be heard. you made no effort to silence yourself.
you both were mesmerized with each other. nanami looked so pretty when he fucked you, it was a much different sight than his more professional look.
however, your smile - which you had no idea had formed - faded due to nanami stopping. you whined and tried to move your hips to get friction, squirming around, but before you could even speak, you were lifted.
then the realization hit you that he was just changing positions, his knees making the mattress sink when he got on it, and your legs being pushed further back.
this time, he didn't give you time to adjust. he practically slammed his cock into you, his body hunched over, palms on each side of your head. the sound of skin slapping started echoing through the room, but it was hardly heard from your loud moans.
he just put you in a mating press, and it felt like he was somehow deeper than before. it was all too good.
“... can i.. cum in you this time?”
just from his question, you came. you squealed and arched your back once more, hands going up to cover your face.
“please, yes!”
nanami smiled at your response, kissing your hands to try and get them to move. you did move them, letting him capture your lips in a rather passionate kiss.
his thrusts got rougher, but sloppier, so you knew he was getting close. one of his hands went to rest on your stomach, lightly pressing on it, then stopping as soon as he reached orgasm. he broke the kiss so he could groan.
“ah, fuck. i hope you get pregnant, (name). i want.. to see your belly get round. no doubt, it'd be cute to see you carry our kid.”
as if to prove his words, he thrusted again, pushing his cum deep inside of you.
both of you were in pure ecstasy, but especially you. he was pressing sweet kisses to your face and neck, the both of you starting to calm down from your highs.
once he pulled out, you whined, feeling empty. he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, and carried you to the bathroom to clean you up. you heard some water run, not even paying attention to the way he managed to hold you with one arm, albeit with the help of your legs around him. then soon after, you were placed in the bath.
he sat behind you, scooping some water to run along your arms and hair. you began to come to your senses, relaxing into his touch and letting out hums of content as his fingers scratched at your scalp, the orange scented shampoo filling your nostrils.
“how do you feel, my love?” he questioned, rinsing the shampoo out before kissing your cheek.
“hmm.. good.. a little tired, but good.” you leaned your head back against his chest to smile up at him, a smile which he returned and leaned down to kiss.
“good. i apologize for being so abrupt.”
“i kind of expected it. i did mess with you by sending those pictures..”
“you are truly a menace for teasing me in such a way, especially during overtime. but i love when you take naked pictures of yourself to send to me.”
his hands traced along your arms, fingertips brushing against your skin, making you giggle and move away.
after he had finished cleaning and kissing all over you, you moved so you were facing him and began washing him as well. he didn't question it. he always found it nice how you gave him aftercare as well, even though you were the one with trembling legs.
“you know, you don't have to treat me as well. i am the one who exhausted you.” even despite his words, he leaned into your gentle touches, eyes closing.
“i know, but you still did all the work! i'm sure its tiring.”
“truthfully, i never tire of doing anything with or for you.”
your face burned at his sentence, a stupid lovesick smile pulling at your lips. you didn't say anything after, just repeating his words in your head and finishing your bath with him.
as soon as you were both done, he got up and lifted you out, wrapping a towel around you both. you dried off, walked into your closet, and put your pajamas on. nanami did the same, lifting you up again to carry you to the living room.
“i’ll wash the bedsheets, can you find a movie for us to watch? then maybe i can cook for us or something..” as if on cue, you heard his stomach growl, making you chuckle with a nod.
“love you, nanami.”
“where’s the ‘i’?”
“i looove you, nanamiiiii!”
“i love you too, (name).”
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reposting and translating my works are allowed, but please do not claim my writing as your own. this was written by @aidensixeye.
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piffany666 · 1 month
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Ok just one more punk progeny wont hurt ~
Chapter 9: differences
(Ftm Bright eyes - uses he/him pronouns)
(Lovely demi girl - uses they/she pronouns)
Tw: underage drinking
Lovely gave a hesitant knock on Bright's door.
A few seconds later Lovely was met with a very agitated looking Bright eyes.
"What is it?....you brought wine...?"
Bright's tone was initially very defensive, until his gase made its way down to the noticeably large and decadent bottle in Lovely's hands.
"Yeah I found it on one of the shelves in the hallway, its not doing any good being up there so i thought why not use it to celebrate you becoming part of the solair clan? I know you're technically not old enough to drink but hey! I think spending eternity being 19 is way too harsh of a punishment to do sober, so what do ya say?"
Bright eyes looked stunned, but nonetheless, he answered.
"I say mind the empty boxes and get your ass and that bottle in here!"
20 minutes later:
Let it never be said that Bright and Lovely weren't lightweights.
They were both sitting on the bed, pouring wine that was older than both of them combined into mugs Bright had brought up to his new room.
The blush on Bright's face was a shade of crimson against his skin. Lovely's was a deep pink.
They giggled between slurred words as they housed down the wine.
"Ok ok so- im sorry i-i have to ask"
Slurred Lovely.
"Yeah? Hic* whats up?"
Bright eyes answered, finding it increasingly difficult to sit up.
"You and Porter?"
Lovely didnt even finish before they both burst into a cascade of giggles, she didnt have to. Bright knew what she ment.
"Whaaat?"
Asked Bright eyes, as if Lovely was judging him for his taste in men.
"Nothing nothing! It's just hic* I heard from alexis that you where hehe~"
Lovely playfully nudged Bright's side, he giggled and pushed her away in response.
"Dont be gross!"
"Haha! What? I was just asking! I mean you've only known him like less than 20 minutes"
Bright couldn't help but smirk at this
"Uhh actually hehe we had already met, at a bar hic* the other day"
"Oooh! So this was like a reunion? Got it"
"Hehe yeeah, wait hic* how dose alexis know about that?"
Lovely began pouring another mug
"Oh she said she walked in on you two going at it in the hallway"
Bright eyes nudged Lovely with his mug, gesturing that hed like a refill
"Oooohh that explains why he dipped out on me"
Lovely began pouring another mug.
"He's probably waiting for YOU you know? I bumped into alexis on my way here so he's defiantly finished talking with her soooo"
Lovely was done with refilling his cup however he nudged her arm while she was pouring, indicating that he wanted more than what she was allowing him to have.
Lovely stumbled a bit because of this and for a second she worried that the wine would spill onto the bed and stain it.
"Yeeaah but I'll be damned if i wait around for a man for too long so hic* i left after he was gone for like hic* 1 minute...?"
Bright took the mug from her without any consideration that it could spill, and to Lovely's relief it didnt.
"What you gonna do if he shows up here?"
"Hic* I dunno probly turn him away"
"Heck Yeah!"
Lovely high fived the hand that didnt contain a mug full of wine.
"You know how much me and vincent hate Porter? I'm not judging you buuut"
Bright scoffed
"Why tho?"
"Hic* long story, I can already feel a headache forming"
Lovely grabbed at the skin between her forehead. Her vision was begining to blur. So was Bright's
"Damn how'd you manage to get a hangover BEFORE you're done drinking?"
"Oh piss off!"
Lovely playfully pushed him but due to his state he fell backwards instantly, the wine splashed as he fell
"OH SHI-"
Bright exploded with laughter, ignoring the wine he spilled over himself.
Thankfully he didn't get any on the bed sheet.
Once they had both calmed down, Lovely realized something.
"Wait- Wait.... Porter told us that he was talking a 'newborn' to the summit as his plus one"
Bright looked stunned, then his brows furrowed.
"Was he talking about you?!"
The question caused Bright's previous expression to change into one of suprise and confusion.
"I mean....he didn't SAY anything to me about it...?"
Lovely pushed herself up from the bed
"So you're telling me that asswhole said he was bringing you to the summit WITHOUT EVEN ASKING YOU FIRST?!"
Lovely recalled just how stressed Vincent was over inviting an additional vampire to the sumit, them being a newborn made things even more inconvenient, but the fact that the person he was inviting was not only already invited but they were the god damn guest of honour?!
Lovely was pissed, in more ways than one and it showed.
"Hey chill out! He probably didnt even mean ME i-im I was....just a one nighter i mean come on!"
"Dont play dumb! I saw how he looked at you today in that meeting, heee likes youuuu~"
He agressive tone from before had vanished and turned into a juvenile one, the kind youd expect to hear at a 12 year old's sleepover"
"Please stop"
They went back to laughing hysterically.
4 mugs of wine and 1 black out later:
"You know...I was a foster kid"
Bright was just coming to when he heard this.
"Really?....how did you know I was one too?"
"Vincent told me"
By this point they were both close to falling asleep at any moment, however, this was something Lovely had wanted to talk to Bright about since the moment Vincent had told her this piece of information, so she pulled herself together and took another sip, hoping it would keep her awake despite it being the thing causing her fatigue.
"Vincent told me that you told him"
"Oh Yeah, I remember"
Lovely once again was lost on how to continue this conversation.
"D-do you have any siblings?"
"Well-"
Bright hesitated.
"I don't know what it was like for you but in the homes i went to we all considered each other 'siblings' but biological? No. Not that I know of"
"Huh. Do you still keep contact with any of them?"
Lovely couldn't tell if he looked sad or just tired.
"I did. With one of them. But then she just...stopped"
"I'm really sorry"
For a moment they just layed there, quiet and still.
Until Bright got up and poured himself another, seemingly doing the same thing Lovely was attempting to do.
"What about you? Got any sibling?"
Lovely seemed to perk up at this.
"Yeah actually. Biological but they got adopted before me, the parents only wanted them"
Bright scowled.
"Tipical, honestly, they should do two for one deals with these sorts of things?!"
Lovely assumed he was joking due to the serious nature of the topic of discussion, so they laughed.
"Yeah Well, I was lucky enough to keep contact with them the whole time online, last year I got to meet them in person tho since I started going to damn and theyd been going there a little while before me"
Bright gave a warm smile. He seemed genuinely happy to hear that lovely was able to see their sibling again.
"They're doing good for themselves too, they have a nice boyfriend, a good friend group and they're so damn talented with magic!....I'm glad they ended up ok even without me"
Lovely gently touched his arm.
I'm hoping that even with your rough start, you can do the same"
His smile dropped as his lips parted in suprise, he didn't know how to respond. So he didn't.
He just clicked his mug with hers and continued to sip it.
The brim hiding his smile.
Vincent was still in shock in regards to what happend.
He would be lying if he said he hadn't seen Lovely angry before but this was....diffrent.
He also felt bad that Lovely had inadvertently made Sam feel like he needed to leave.
Vincent thought that the best thing to do would be to go and confront her.
But that was before he saw her and Bright laying on Bright's bed wasted.
"What the-?!"
"Ok ok so old wine....is good wine hic*"
Lovely didnt seem to notice Vincent standing gob smacked in the doorway.
"Yeah ok ok but hic* expensive wine....is good wine also-"
"What are you guys doing?"
Vincent finally got Lovely's attention.
"Oh hiiiii~ hey vinc hic* whats up?"
"A-are you drunk? Why are you drunk?!"
"Relax, I just thought we could use a drink is all"
Lovely was desperately trying to sit up, luckily her cup was empty so she didnt need to worry about spillage.
"We just established that Bright isn't old enough to even drink!"
"Oh chill out grandpa, Lovely here already got a headache"
Lovely, still stumbling over herself, pushing Bright eye's leg before falling over herself and eventually being caught by Vincent.
She looked up at him for a moment then smiled sweetly.
"Hi~"
She went to kiss him but she could barely keep herself up so she didnt succeed.
Vincent decided to excuse the absurdity of the situation and prioritise getting Lovely to bed before it got too light outside.
"Ok time to get you to bed, say bye to Bright"
"Byyee!~"
She waved lazily at him, he did the same.
Given Lovely's state, Vincent thought it was wise to ask Bright how he was holding up.
"Hey, you gonna be Ok?"
"Yeeeaah ill be fine"
Vincent trusted Bright not to do anything too stupid between now and night time.
"Alright then"
Vincent proceeded to carry Lovely into their bedroom a floor up.
Bright tried to sleep off the feeling swimming throught his head......But he couldn't.
Epilogue:
A knock on the door caused Bright eyes to jolt up from his bed.
He wasn't asleep, however he was still suprised by the sound, especially since the intoxicated state he was in amplified all sounds.
He groaned as he felt himself moving from his bed on the door.
"What?"
He slurred, voice thick with sleep.
He opened the door to Porter standing in front of him.
"I apologise for the late arrival~"
"Yeah? Why'd you run off before then? Cold feet?"
Bright had previously been told the answer to this question, however he still wanted to tease him, and see if he would tell the truth.
Porter winced at the implication that Bright had thought this entire time that Porter had left him due to "cold feet". Despite this, he coughed then gave a small slightly awkward laugh.
"N-no I do apologise for leaving its just....alexis saw us. I knew she would tell vincent and i really dont fancy having my head removed before I could get a chance to ask you something important, you understand?~"
Bright didnt answere, he did however share a kiss with Porter once he had finished apologising, he wasn't entirely sure who initiated it but he reciprocated nonetheless.
"Hmm~ may i come in?"
Bright could feel Porters breath against his lips.
Bright eyes smiled.
"No".
Then he closed the door to his room.
@darlin-collins thank you for proof reading as usual ♡
@anexistingexistence @you-think-i-care-mate
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gideongrovel · 7 months
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In my "I don't wanna fully render a drawing" era 🏃🏾‍♂️ But moving on lol, I've liked OP since I was 9, and ive always been shipping within it and had a s/i for just as long,,,, so I thought it might be fun to do a progression thingy of my s/i ive had throughout the years! original designs from when i was ages 13, 20 and then current day 27
rambling below time lol
So the first design from when I was around 13, I was a lil creature child and didnt like wearing shoes, so unfortunately I added that in the design? lmao,,,, also added a kitty hat I use to wear all the time (I actually still have it in my closet) but this chibi drawing (x) was the only one i could find in my folders on my laptop, I do have a couple other drawings I kept from that age too, but theyre all in a storage tub that i dont feel like digging through atm,,,,
Unfortunately I don't have any of my s/i art from when I was 20, since its on a laptop i dont have access to anymore,,,, and when moving to my new laptop in the spring I was thinking I need to only save the essentials, and my thought processes was "i not gonna have a o//ne p//iece phase again since im never gonna catch up" as well as "I don't need to save these to my new laptop, since i dont even ship with anyone anymore" how foolish of me to think id ever be free from the series 😭 thankfully i have a good memory and know how they looked mostly, I distinctly remember them having a blueish grid pattern shirt and I just gave them the hair style I had irl at the time since that's what i use to always do for my inserts, and i always be drawing my s/i in shorts so i knew they had those, the only thing i had to guess on was the boots,,,, idr if they were long or shorts boots?
and my current s/i,,,, don't need to say much more, y'all know him 🫰🏾 Tho i will say- catgirl to dogboy pipeline
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sleepy-vix · 2 months
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book review of what i read today because i'm a nerd with nothing better to do!
today i just borrowed 'caraval' by stephanie garber from the library and finished it all within 4-5 hours. here are my brief thoughts:
(btw this is pretty spoiler free bc i dont talk abt any specific things abt the book)
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for the first 100 pages, i hated the book. the romance was gross to me and i couldn't care less about the main character (actually i still couldn't care less about the main character tbh).
also i saw a review video after reading the book and the reviewer said that YA is a genre with a spectrum where on one end, it can be mature so adults can enjoy it but on the other hand, it can also be for readers that are quite young (eg preteens? im guessing??) and caraval falls under the latter category and that is VERY TRUE AND IT IRRITATED ME SO BAD but oh well that's just a me thing prolly
thankfully, half way through the book, things started to build up and everything was mysterious and intriguing which was what i wanted from the book
it didnt really get good until near the end though, around the last 150 pages. things kept piling up on eachother and i had no idea who to trust or what to expect, which i loved.
by the end, (as i said before) i couldn't care less about the main character, but i found that i was relieved by her "happy" ending (i used quotation marks because i'm not sure what will happen to her in the next book). i guess the romance was good because i did wish for julian to have a good ending, but ehh they don't make me sob or blush or whatever i'm supposed to (actually most of their "tension scenes" made me physically scowl and i had to skim over them. that's probably just me tho T-T)
anyways i was pretty conflicted over whether i wanted to read the next book in the trilogy, but after a bit of research i decided that i will!
I'm looking forward to that. caraval was a fun read i got to admit, even though it was really only 3/5 stars at most for me.
i hope i enjoy the rest of the trilogy alot more (i have hopes, since the next book will have a diff mc) because i want to read stephanie garber's other series, 'once upon a broken heart'- they aren't books that i usually read but i'm forcing myself to expand ny tastes and familiaries myself with popular books (for convo material- hopefully)
that concludes my book rant for now :)
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kaydreamman · 1 month
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*kicks down your door* Hey Kay on the vtm questionaire for number 14 for death How do they feel about diablerie? for any of yours lol
heres the original reblog so anyone that wants can find the questions:
Wow so you come in, break my door and now you wont fix it? ok fine.
Since you wanted 14 and Diablerie(11) , ill do both for the vampires that more or less graced my blog and ill be doing these two as myself instead of characters since some of them wouldnt give you an actual answer and it was better formatted this way lol.
really long post ahead so read at your discretion
Bhima
III. DEATH
11. How do they feel about Diablerie?
Its...something hed love to not encounter on either side. The act feels very harsh and..very wrong. Not something hed do ever.
14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?
Bhima has frenzied once in the beginning of his vampire life when he was still getting used to everything and to his jumbled thinking. It did not turn out well. In the process he ended up killing his daughter because of how stressed he was for her in general and he simply blacked out when he saw her again. He sired her upon panicking about what hes done and its a whole mess he is trying to fix considering the siring was also not legalized.
Nazaire
11. How do they feel about Diablerie?
He gets why someone would do it but they dont like the idea of stealing someones "life" for power and then also having part of their soul. Sounds like a cool concept at first but he wouldnt like it to happen to him so why do it to someone else?
14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?
Yeah. A lot of clutch moments before they escaped the city he inhabited after their sires death and during the times he was hunted. It manifested in many ways. Some lunging at the vampires hunting them resulting in harm, sometimes results in self harm as well. He fed of a human once and they had to pretend they didnt. Never did it again.
Iulian
11. How do they feel about Diablerie?
Act of power with dubious ties to it. Nothing he hasnt seen or that would be uncommon for vampires to do. He thinks getting power like that is a cheat code and a beneficial one if you get to it but not something hell risk his skin for.
14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?
Thankfully for him, it has never happened.
Devon
11. How do they feel about Diablerie?
Doesnt care. He wont do it but he doesnt care if someone does. No strong opinion towards it.
14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?
He has never frenzied even if he was close to multiple times before. He was able to get himself as fast as he could out of high stress situations or neutralize the problem before the beast could come out.
Ankur
11. How do they feel about Diablerie?
Fun! Just dont get caught and its a plan. He hasnt done it but perhaps one day if he has the means for it, he might.
14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?
Yeah, a bunch of times. He is a fun of the "riding it out" or "going with the flow" so he frenzied willingly before and it proved as a very beneficial thing though risky and very very messy. Covered in blood from head to toe and surrounded by bodies but satisfied and safe. Plus, if youre quick about it, no one will ever know about your messier tendencies :)
Cecilia
11. How do they feel about Diablerie?
No. Below her. More honorable ways to get power.
14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?
She tried her hardest everytime to get the beast at bay since she holds a reputation so, no. She did not and is not planning to.
Nadia
11. How do they feel about Diablerie?
Tempting. Havent did it but she isnt opposed to it.
14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?
Nothing out of the ordinary, just very enraptured by one of her...meals that got way too messy. Only happened once tho.
Sunya
11. How do they feel about Diablerie?
Kindred do that to strengthen themselves and cover more ground by having more power, as always. Nothing shocking. They dont care about it though. They think its kind of like cheating and if you want to get big, why not set an example yourself instead of being a power sucking leech?
14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?
No...they....made sure not to. Theres no way that his sire would in any shape or form take that and they wouldnt be a fan of finding out what happens if the beast gets their way and their sire finds out.
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blueiight · 1 year
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Ooh I was actually very interested in Louis’ possible beliefs in Voodoo after reading the pilot script a while back, because it seems like he believes enough in it to that bag of stuff from Oncle Vervain and stand in the circle for good luck at the poker table later on? I was sad this aspect was taken out of the final pilot but I understand time wise. I like to think this stuff is still kinda canon tho, when Louis sees someone leave a circle of sand or something in front of Rue Royale Louis frowns at it and destroys it and in the narration explains what it means to Daniel, meaning he still knows a thing or two about the practice and what some things mean. Not saying he’s an expert but I wonder if any of this will come up later? Doubt it but it would be cool!
all the scenes we get w the good unc: hes introduced warning louis of ‘bad spirits let aloose’ [lestat] , got the gris gris for him+ sprinkles the cornmeal circle for luck before the card game, and seeing lestat next to louis, warns louis of lestat ‘having no blood’ in haitian creole [erroneously dubbed merely as ‘haitian’ in the draft] before scorning louis for refusing to take heed to his advice. i get the feeling this was deleted bc of the slightly voyeuristic, anti-african/haitian undertones this has.. especially paired w draft louis’s bungling on race that is simply ahistorical like not self identifying as a negro/colored [black man] in the 1910s? thankfully that didnt make the show. could have very well fell in line perhaps the pop. culture association/nonblack fetishization n treatment of black syncretic faith in new orleans as if its ‘inferior’ to ‘pure’ catholicism thats more in line w the source material’s stumbling on race, which was bad in the 70s as is but even more inexcusable a modern adaptation. or maybe rolin wanted lou to be a real #church girl idk?.. i do think its still possible for louis to have knowledge of christianity + vodoun w louis’s prior knowledge of the effigies left infront of the rue royale townhouse in ep6+ otherwise. louis being fluent or passable enough in his understanding of haitian creole to communicate to onc in the draft also has srs implications for the du lac geneaology& louis’s heritage.. maybe the show du lac paternal ancestor emigrated to new orleans from haiti?
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endwersed · 3 months
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Hii! I’m subscribed to your ao3 because I really adore the way you write and your aus all tick the right boxes for me. I checked if there was any update on striking out and noticed your writer’s note. First if all I’m really sorry about the comments, I was fearing this might happen some got really intense but I also want to say you it compliments you as well because it proves how talented you are as a writer to get the reader so engaged in your story but I fully understand how demotivating it might feel to see people misinterpret what you actually intended. If you want my opinion I honestly feel like the anon comments might be just 1-2 person continuously spam commenting their frustrations at the characters.
Thankfully I didnt read any negative comments about your writing because then I’d fight them lmao. Your talent for writing is sooo obvious! but I’m really really sorry and sad to hear it demotivated you to write tho 🥺 I might sound cliche with the “it’s not you” line but to put things in perspective, the fact that it’s a work in progress might have added to the “unknown” people felt to react so intensely without nuance. It really has nothing to do with your writing but more about how people emotionally connected, I see this all the time in author’s comment section and have to wince sometimes hoping it doesn’t affect them. Just know it isn’t on you or your writing! I hope inspiration strikes you again soon it’s been a pleasure reading the story so far. If you want to rant about the comments or discuss it with me, I’d be open to talk!! Take care xx
Hi! Thank you so much for this message, it is honestly so sweet of you to take the time to write this out to make me feel better, I truly really really appreciate it 💖
It's definitely a 'never say never' type of thing for when I might want to return to writing that particular AU, but for now I have kind of lost my passion for it - but I do have my fingers crossed that it'll come back one day! I still think they deserve their happy ending in that universe, after all 😊
Thank you again and you take care too 💖💖
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aitapokemon · 8 months
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Alex experience
AITA for (attempting) killing somebody using my Doublade?
OK this is sounds bad but hear me out, for context I am a male (13) originally from Hoenn came to Kalos to go to do my first journey with my starter a Riolu (later evolve into Lucario) given to me by my father and grandfather.
On my journey I caught a Honedge that didnt want to evolve into Aegislash as my eight capture in the region, I don't have any problem with this, mind you, as I doesn't like Aegislash too much anyways and liking Doublade more. And although I don't have problem with it apparently some people, who like to poke their nose onto someone else problem doesn't like both our decision because apparently that I have been holding back my Doublade potential. So this male Karen heard our plan to go to a jewelry shop so I can buy my Doublade something to hold his everstone so it won't slip in the battle, I dont know what triggers it but this Karen start to screamed at me about how I 'abuse' my Pokemon's so they afraid to evolve and about how I should handed over all of my Pokemon before he called on officer Jenny to report my 'abuse'.
We all probably had an experience dealing with this kind of Karen on our journey at least once right? So I already prepared to dealt with it by ignoring him. Apparently its a mistake as the Karen figured it out that if I ignoring him then he'll stalk me until I bend to his will, mind you I am camping on the wildness to avoid being interrupted when I'm training my other 'Mons. And because of that the inevitable happen, my Braixen who's been sparring with my Lucario accidentally fired a Will-O-Wisp in the direction of Karen's tent and it catches on fire, thankfully all of his stuff is still outside since he just finished setting up his tent, deliberately close to our training ground, and thats how the nuclear start, and by Arceus he's lucky that I did not immediately kill him in the forrest, he throw tantrum about how I order my Pokemon to kill him before he reported my 'abuse' to Jenny when I apologize to him about the tent and promising him that I will replace it once we got in to the near town. He won't have it though even tho its his own fault that he set his tent near my Pokemon training ground, mind you we already camped here for almost a week now.
But anyways long story short when we arrived at the closest town after the nightmarish walk accompany by the Distortion world most devilish creature that made even Darkrai jealous I immediately go to a pokecenter to book a room and for some of my Pokemon to get a health check after a week on the road, I headed to my room to stash my things before going to sightseeing with some of my teammates, now apparently some of them chose to lazing in the room rather than sightseeing so I left them with my stuff to guard while I take a walk with my starter and Doublade. I don't do much on my walk just finding a jewelry store to bought some kind of ring that the everstone can be placed on the center of it for my Doublade and a new tent to replace what I owe to Karen. I actually became a bit suspicious when I don't see a hair of him to pester me about the so-called abuse but I don't think much about it picked up my Pokemon's from nurse Joy, but I should have been wary because lo and behold the Karen leisurely sprawled on the bed with his things scattered on it and my belongings tossed on the floor carelessly with my remaining two Pokemon's growling at him, then he had the audacity to say that I should sleep on the floor while he take the bed "is the least you can do for destroying my tent" he say. I had non of it and gather his belongings and throw them to the hallway along with his new tent while he screeched at me while chasing after his things. He caused so much ruckus that made other people who stayed on the same floor poked their heads out to see what's the commotion is about, someone even called officer Jenny on him when he try to go after the Pokemon egg I hold.
And that made me snap, I am tired hungry and in need to cuddle with my Pokemons and this Karen had the balls to go after my baby, so I hand over the egg to my Braixen before grabbing one of the handle of my Doublade sword and stabbed at the direction of Karen's head, I purposely miss but making sure that he got a thin slice on the side of his head where my Doublade sword embed on the wall, he immediately goes white "you listen to me you little shit, I am in no way have a requirements to comply in your entitled ass, but I have been very patient this last few days in hopes that you will leave me and mine alone, but now you just cross the line by attacking my baby, so I will give this options for you to follow, either you get the hell out of this floor calmly, or you get out of this building with a missing organ, it is yours to pick." And I mean every words I say, after I said that he began to scrambled gathering his things (including the new tent I bought) and running like Girantina themself after him.
Officer Jenny caught him before he leave the building tho, apparently one of the other trainer starts filming after they finished the call giving the officer the evidence she need to arrest the Karen.
So AITA?
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xerospaced · 7 months
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So it's taken me a ridiculous amount of time to attempt this course that should have been completed in 12 weeks. And I've only just finally submitted the assessment of my second unit (2 of 4). I did actually submit it initially on schedule but I was asked to add some info. And then after doing that was asked to add yet more info to another question! Ma'am!!
Anyway. This is not really anything to be proud of (to most anyway) but I am proud. I have attempted to get back to work on this course for a HOT minute. And each time I have sat down or tried to sit down to work on it I have ultimately failed and done, nothing.
Today, I actually REMEMBERED that my tutor had given today as a deadline to add this additional info as it was only a small amount required. Thankfully I remembered coz I had no reminders set, nor did I note it anywhere.
But, after having less than three hours sleep due to my period crippling me late into the night and a contractor turning up first thing to work on my en suite (which he didnt finish til about 1), and then - when I was finally thinking about decompressing in my space alone for a grip before approaching this task - I had to take my ma to the doctor on a last minute urgent thing.
I handled both disruptions incredibly well. Brought my ma home and went out to cop me some energy drinks and a couple snacks coz I'm still trying this maintaining glucose levels thing and I knew I needed to work.
I very almost started gaming when I got back in coz I cant stand going from external thing to focused thing without a transitional period. But I knew I was running the risk of getting sucked in.
Instead, I kept in my ear buds, danced around, started on my energy drink (and a cheeky glass of moscato) sat down to work - laptop tried to beef me so I got myself prepared for the task I had to approach while it sorted itself out. Got distracted by a linkedin email and found myself on the app job searching. Yes, productive. No, not conducive to the matter at hand.
Hennyway, I managed to shift my focus back to the assignment. Did one part and was gonna take a one song break (coz pressure from Encanto came on shuffle and I'm not gonna work through that coz like I NEEDS to belt) but ended up pausing it while I prepared the second part. Then ended up just completing the second part and submitting and now I'm done.
And sure, all in all, it was about ten to fifteen mins of work. And yeah, it's a relatively minor thing in the grand scheme of things. But still! I did something and focused when I intended to and stopped myself getting distracted and stayed on task.
I will add that part of what helped the transition was D asking me if I'd submitted my poems for the competition yet just before I headed to the dr. [As established, deciding to work on my poetry was that THING I needed to get excited and motivated] It set me in a space where I was wanting to be productive. I sent him a few poems for his insight. He doesn't do poetry and all that so it was an odd choice but he is also not afraid to be critical and won't just tell me everything is great (also he gave v positive feedback to the poem which is like... the crux of me and the manuscript I'm gonna put together so omfg YES)
Long long long ass post coz I'm typing on my surface and not as limited as when I'm on mobile, plus typing speed lord jesus.
Anyway, I'm proud of myself. And even tho D didn't provide any overt or particularly hands-on application of accountability/responsibility, he did put my attention on a worthy task, and the best one he could've to kick me into gear.
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jedibongrip · 2 years
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i am BEGGING for any more headcanons you have for the abo mind break verse, i’m OBSESSED with the snippet you posted
>:3c
spoilers (even tho idk when i'll finish it enough to post it) under the cut
probably one of the biggest components is luke and leia are actually (alpha) padme's biological kids. she and anakin were involved before mustafar and anakin was pregnant with the twins at the time. but then obi-wan (kinda force) bonded them, did the whole mind fuckery thing, so anakin doesnt KNOWS that the twins are related to obi-wan. when rey is born, obi-wan is SO relieved that she also has dark brown hair, because anakin was getting pouty (not suspicious but you never know) that luke had blond hair, like anakin did as a child, but leia didnt look anything like obi-wan. and obi-wan kept insisting, well, your mother had dark hair didn't she? so rey also having dark hair kinda 'proved' obi-wan's 'theory' in anakin's mind.
anakin knows he was a jedi and a general, and he remembers a lot of stuff from his training and some stuff from the war but he doesnt remember a lot of specifics or a lot of people. he could use a lightsaber from muscle memory (not that obi-wan lets anakin near it) but if you showed him a photo of ten council members, he could probably only name one or two, besides obi-wan.
and the thing that makes the mind break verse SO good (imo) is that. this is a genuine case of all of this is done out of love. if obi-wan didnt force bond anakin, then his canon injuries would have occurred and he would have fully become darth vader. if anakin remembers he fell, or falls again, then he'll go out into a world that is ready and wants to kill him (surviving jedi [gonna alter order 66 to some extent], other darksiders, members of the republic who desperately want to keep laying blame at someone's feet for the entire war). obi-wan loves anakin and wants him to live and be happy. anakin does love obi-wan, and trusts him so entirely, which is why believe his mate when he gives him weird medicine and says that another baby will fix him.
also a nasty hc: because anakin can't remember their 'courting phase' (which... did not exist) obi-wan had to invent what they did (thankfully he could use the excuse that it was very private/in secret and they got married in secret) AND what level of intimacy they had with each other. and since anakin wakes up after mustafar already pregnant, clearly they already had sex, right? so obi-wan kinda makes some stuff up and kinda... tells anakin that they did way more things than anakin would think he would do. but he MUST have done them, right? His mate said so.
which is to say, obi-wan accidentally shapes anakin into his perfect slut because he said that anakin loved to suck him off, that they did anal, dping with toys, that anakin let obi-wan put his cock in a cage and fucked his pussy (intersex omegaverse) until he cried, that anakin liked being tied up, spanked, covered with hot wax, etc etc. and yeah eventually anakin DOES like those things, but in true mind break fashion... he only gets there because he was told he already liked them >:)
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seyvetch · 2 years
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Moved to place I grew up in some months ago tho was away for some time at dacha but just started recalling early school years.....
Very traumatic tho luckly it seems I either forgot or repressed enough detail to spare me the pain but......... not that one thing. Just that singular minute I remembered just now. Details are hazy and they were even just after it happened too. Dont remember why it happened (the final push) or what happened immidiately before or after.
If you read the trigger warning tags you probably suspect what event Im talking about. The one and only time in my life I tried to kill myself. I suggest you dont go reading further if this topic disturbs you or otherwise your curiocity or something else driving you isnt more than negative feelings youd get from it
Well anyway if I recall it was late primary/early middle school. My memmory isnt ythe greatest on the subject of my life in that period or in general tbh. Maybe my brain had to repress so much stuff it just cant form memmories that good now. Well I remember something just clicking. Something was a straw that broke a camels back. I cant recall what it was but I just wept and wanted to die. It was too much suffering for it to be worth living. I climed the stairs to second floor and midway tried to jump head first into stone floor. Dont remember what type of floor exactly but it was certaintly some kind of tiles with concrete underneath to my irrational panicked hormone filled child brain it seemed that I would die. In reality looking back I would probably just recieve head trauma. I remember my classmates physically stopping me and me feeling someyhing I dont quite recall about that fact. Was it anger that they didnt let me end my existance? Confusion that they stood by or participated in my bullying of which I cant recall any of it now thankfully or sadness that they only bothered to do something about my situation when I was there and not at any point before. Probably a mix of all those.
You know what the person from school told me in regards of why I should do this? "How would your parents feel about this?" as some sort of persuasion to not kill myself. I of course didnt kill myself or attempted for that matter any more in my life nor extent of my self harm was beyond picking at my dried cuts but it is more of a bad habbit or a stim. But you know what I think about that statement? What would my parents feel if I killed myself? As a measure of preventing suicide? It might be effective but many times its been the only reason I didnt go thru with it. What would others feel. How would that affect others. Sure it can be like a part of it but its cruel that my only reason to live many times was someone else. I mean it in this way: Im not living for me. Im not living bc I want to live in these cases. That fucked me up. I think it built a bit of resentment to those who would just be upset of I died or somehow were hurt. Bc I didnt learn how to find a reason for me to live an actual reason I learned to force myself to live for others. Its not a good coping strategy at long term. It just stops the main symptom and not the cause of it. For I dont know how long now. Years? I barely felt the drive to live. The WANT to live. The will to live. In some sense I think I might have died long ago. I do of course have wonderful moments that feel my whole being with happieness and pure desire to live to thrive but they are so fleeting... and I dont have the luxiry of good memmory to remember them for long if at all. And if I dont even have the motivation to love I barely take care of myself. Especially since most of the time my mental health and what can I only describe as disability manifested (from what I suspect many smaller causes maginfied by each other (death by a thousand paper cuts as it were)) making it harder. And there is barely any support. Most of time I bring up my issues they are eiyher didsmised as being blowm out of proportion or Im told to dealt with it die to my age or fact that Im "a man" (which also hurts bc Im femining leaning trans).
Now dont worry Im mot gonna do anything to myself I just needed to vent but I am in a bad mental space and its been i decline lately and I might not respond much or at all for some time and thanks for all who msg me it makes me feel slightly better and hopefully it will start becoming better in general soon.
Thanks for reading heres a pic of a cat I took as thanks for you actually going thru this.
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rexaleph · 2 years
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Havent said anything abt perfume in so long bc ive been uh unwell but im coming out of it again i think.
Im interested in getting into florals, sth i started thinking abt in late spring. I want a green, wet, vegetal flower. Ive been enjoying Sublime Balkiss by the different company, but idk that it isnt too expensive for what it is. Lasts very little and ultimately it is just kinda a friendly fruity floral. sometimes i think that i just need to make life easier for myself and look into womens designer scents, but then i look at the reviews for Sublime Balkiss and people are like sharp green unisex different. And im like ah ok lol. Really interested in exploring tom ford's Vert Boheme, and that whole vert series in general, tho maybe its discontinued? And also fucking tom ford lmao. Fwiw i have actually tried Vert de Fleur during my last attempt at getting into flowers, and its not really it for me, feels like a sun-dried late summer steppe weeds + lipstick, the opposite kinda flowers from what im looking for. Funnily enough a lot of the reviews are calling it dark, fresh and dewy, which just goes to show that none of these words mean anything to me. (Having washed some of it off and waited a couple hours its much less unpleasant but still not what im looking for. dry bouquet herbal soap vibes)
De Profundis remains the untouchable fantasy BUT Amouage Myths woman seems to go to a similar green-earthy-floral well, while Myths man also has chrysanthemum and is supposed to be smoky which is intriguing (tho apparently also features prominent iris and is generally resinous and leathery). So time to reconsider Amouage perhaps. I occasionally revisit the samples i have and still cant really get into them but they are quite different from each other and idk that its their intrinsic dna that i dont get along with. Also given where de profundis comes from ive decided to stop being such a bitch about serge lutens, and maybe look into them for florals.
When i last thought abt perfume a couple months back I was considering making some purchases this autumn as a reward for hopefully defeating work demons, but im actually gonna be spending money on a trip and some things to do w that, which is a lot more valuable than perfume. However now i also want perfume as well. And idk id like to maybe not accumulate a million samples so i ought to go through what i have and really think about the hows and whys of my perfume experience. When i was depressed just now i still wore perfume every day but really didnt engage w the variety i have access to. I dont think i want to be the single signature fragrance person just bc my one perfume would be vierges et toreros and i cant do that to people, certainly not in the middle of summer lmao. But maybe i can have like... 4. Maybe 9. Fwiw i think ive resolved my search around leathers and animalics and am not interested in trying any more after having found my beloved few, even though some are completely inaccessible to me. Maybe i could write sth up about them. What feels very unresolved to me is fruits, my first big unexpected interest in perfume. Ive tried so many and rn i think i dont like any of them! My fucking samples store shopping cart is full of figs aside from flowers but maybe i should really think about whats wrong w the ones i have. I was gonna do a post abt the fruits as well and was reminded of it just now having had a bad time trying to wear Fig Man.
Anyway i dont think ill buy anything for now regardless, thankfully im good at not spending money. But i will try to have my perfume thoughts.
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asahicore · 1 year
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come to the conclusion i apperently didnt read this fic. SO HEAR U GO
That weekend, your parents ask you to do something about the cherries slowly starting to spoil in the fridge, so you put on your headphones and listen to an audiobook for entertainment, then get to pitting. It feels wrong to listen to The Kiss Quotient and its many smut scenes when your parents are coming and going out of the room, but what they don’t know won’t kill them; you just try to keep your reactions to a minimum during the extra spicy scenes.
HELLO ?!??!! SHES SO LMAOSHSKS. NAH I LAUGHED okay me personally enjoyed kiss quotient and rest of the three series. specially the next two talking about the struggles of autism or the how broad spectrum of autsim was. it was a good read for me from 2022. yeah... back to this tho. omg i might try this recipe off topic. It sounds good but ill end up eating the cherries cuz i love them.
If this were a cartoon or a 2012 teen show, you’d probably drop the pie tin, but thankfully, your hands aren’t that sweaty, and the shock of the man from the other day at the store being your neighbor isn’t that great, because of course, of course he’s your neighbor. You’re Y/N, after all; the almighty gods above would never let you have a boring, uneventful summer. Of course the hot new man in town is your neighbor.
can we talk bout these descriptions its so accurate like you just out do yourseld everytime ma'am. Its so attention grabbing. damn i regret not listening well during english lessons. i just wanna say to a masterpiece like this is SLAY THIS WAS SO GOOD SCRWAMINGSJSK i need to be able to go indept like how my eng teacher goes into dept about anytype of writing.
A walking wet dream. That’s what this man is. He’s walked right out of your deepest Wattpad-induced fantasies and into the house next door. Probably doesn’t help that you’d been listening to literary porn just fifteen minutes prior. 
SEE ITS SO PRECISE???? SO REAL??? hes so cute nervous plss
“My friends and I used to make stories about how this place is haunted, you know,” you say jokingly.
GHOST HUNTING FR
"We’ve been more roommates than a couple for the past six years. And you know, we kept on living together for Chaer mainly, but she’s found a new boyfriend and I wanted to have my own place. Which has led me here.”
its nice to see them on not bad terms
Your hot new neighbor was actually a DILF, you realized a bit inappropriately, perhaps. Cherry on top.
not the right time BABE 😭😭 BUT GO OFF
“You any good with kids?” he asks, leaning against the doorway with crossed arms and a smirk that makes your heart flutter.
hOON HMM YOU JUST MET HER WOAH WOAH.
“No one’s asking you to be that girl’s mom,” she says, dishing out some meat for the three of you. “I’d go get that man, if I were you.”
STOPDBDKD SO REAL OF HER 🗣🗣 SPEAK YOUR TRUTH BABE. omg HAHAHAA I LOVE THIS PART. IM SO SORRY BUT THIS ISNT EVEN FICTION THIS WHAT MY FRIENDS AND ME TALK ABOUT RANDONLY IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS FUNNY IN A GOOD WAY AND ENJOY IT
One afternoon, you’d made sure to go and sunbathe in your bikini at the exact moment he was doing some work outside, and even then, he merely gave your body a one-over and disappeared a few minutes later inside his house.
yes GIRLY GO OFF. SO GIRL BOSS YES YES GO BABE
It doesn’t help that you see his flexing, working muscles and beads of sweat on his hairline everyday.
he said two can play the game 💪💪
“I-I’m sorry, Y/N, I don’t know what came over me. We shouldn’t do this, it’s not- I shouldn’t have done that,” he sighs, looking defeatedly at the ground.
omg he :(( NO but i understand his pov on this moment omg
“If you swallow it, a tree will grow inside your belly and make you puke out cherries,” he’d lied when it was just the two of you at the outdoor table. 
every parent ever. i accidentally sallowed some seed and almost cried cuz i thought a plant will grow out of me ? I MEAN INSIDE OF ME 😭
Finally kissing him, and the next afternoon, you were browsing through the endless aisles of your local IKEA, holding his daughter’s hand and pretending like you hadn’t kissed her daddy.
nah babe yall are a couple now also. look at that "FAMILY" outting at IKEA...
He’s a really good dad, and that does nothing whatsoever to stop your DILF fantasies, although now, it’s really Sunghoon that you want, and the fact that he’s a dad isn’t a dealbreaker, it just makes him that much better.
SO TRUE AND SO REAL
“Are you sure about this? ‘Cause if you tell me that you want me… then I’ll be all yours, Sunghoon,”
If you concentrate you can hear me scream lose my shit over this line. Crying bleeding losing fighting throwing up climbing walls and umm drinking water. yes i feel extremely normal about this sentence.
currently scrwaming btw. im PMFYDHDJB AHHHVDIDIEK yes.
“That’s a good girl,”
HAHAHAAHHAAH (losing my mind fr) STOP THE WEEKND IS PLAYING on SHUFFLE UMM SPOTIFY KNOWS FR.
So, tell me, what’s your favorite position, princess?”
HELLONITS ALKOST 12 AM AND IM TRYING NOT TO SCREAM HELLODJDOS ONFUSKS HELLON!???! WEEKND PLAYING ISNT HELPING OMGSJS WOAH.
“Of course not. Is Heeseung your new dad?” he asks, mentioning his ex’s new boyfriend. Chaer shakes her head.“No. He’s Mommy’s boyfriend.” “Exactly, and Y/N is Daddy’s girlfriend. Isn’t she?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at you, smirking.
this part was funny hehehe
“My girls,”
HELLLO THATS SO CUTE SJNSNS OMFSUNDS I JUSGSIJS S CRYODND WHAT ONSISJSK I LOVEVYEH ENDINDG SM ITS LIKE IDNKDND SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR ENDINDS OPEN ENDED OR HAPPY ITS SO CUTE AND WHOLESPME I LOve iT AND I LIve FOR IT. Just SOOSHIDKD AHHHBSIHDKSN. OKAY GOODNIGHT ITS ALMOST 12 AM AND I HAVE WORK AS FIRST THING TMW
🍓 anon
🍓 anon as i type this i am buying a diamond ring to ask u to marry me..... OH MY GODDDDD
fun fact the whole kiss quotient audiobook thing is from my life lol i listened to the book and didnt love it.. literally loved stella but the male lead i forgot his name was so bleh just typical overprotective romance lead or wtv so i wasnt really planning on reading/listening mroe.. but if u think its worth it i might give it a shot
IM SO HAPPY U LIKE THE DESCRIPTIONS OMG <///3 i dont go into like detail or anythign ever but i do try to add funny (?) things or small descriptions here and there.. !!!!
ur right sunghoon asking her if shes good with kids on their second meeting is kinda wild 😭😭😭 mans has his priorities straight
"If you concentrate you can hear me scream lose my shit over this line. Crying bleeding losing fighting throwing up climbing walls and umm drinking water. yes i feel extremely normal about this sentence." this made me laugh soooo much oh my god
NOT THE WEEKND PLAYING DURING THE SMUT SCENE😭😭😭😭 ur fbi agent watching a little bit too closely at ur online activity
BAHAHA I HOPE UR WORK WENT WELL BUT OMG THANK U SO SO SO MUCH FOR THISSSSS I LOVE UUUUUUU
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