#did it break? that’s fine

[ohnonotthehorrors]

Can I... talk about the theory that winners help craft the next game?

Because, and I really can not say this enough, it puts So Much into perspective.

Everything starts out Normal. Three lives, simple, cut and dry, there hasn't been a winner yet. No one to help craft the game. (And there's something to be said about how simple it really was. Not even a real expectation of the world becoming pvp or combative. No idea of the war to come)

Then Grian wins. The green killer, the man who vowed his first life to the one whose life he took. The next game the boogie man is born. A mechanic that allows and, in fact, demands, a green kill. People can trade lives back and forth, currency and debt wrapped up in one. (can we still be friends? Said the red partner. A life time later and reds are hostile, alone. Maybe it's an answer: No. Not anymore)

Scott wins this time. He refuses to play the game. He will not kill his team, he will love and he will do so fiercely and with all of himself. The next game people are attached through to their very souls. Every bit of damage to one soul is done to its twin. There is no boogeyman. (There is no way for a widow to be left without their love)

Pearl wins and she wins a blood bath. Spent the game draped in red, only wolves for company. Sitting in her tower, shivering in ice, maybe she wanted it to end. To see where it would. Limited life rewards you for killing, limited life has a clock tick tick ticking down, you always no how long you have. A curse yes, but a blessing too.

Now It's Martyn's turn.

And what a turn it is.

Keep your secrets, says the disloyal man, keep them well. Everything hurts, everything Matters, says the man fracturing with every loss. (What if we could love each other without hurting? Says The Hand, who never wanted to be coated in blood)

More importantly, Martyn has always seen the watchers below the surface. Now, they're right here in front of him. Something that could almost... be rebelled against, no? Something that someone else could finally point to and say: hey, hey isn't that familiar?

#Also funny that most winners have an immediate problem with the game following #Grian being given only two lives at the start #Scott breaking up with his soulmate #Martyn pulling an absolute Wet Cat and failing miserably at secret life #Pearl did fine #limited life #life series #secret life #trafficblr #grian #scott smajor #martyn inthelittlewood #pearlescentmoon #3rd life #last life #traffic life #ignore the number of parenthesis #and also tags

[inymoon]

The newbie at work fucking dropped the key in the fucking sink, I can’t with her , I haven’t laughed this much in a while 😂

#her face = 😧🫢🥺 #hani… i dropped the key… #did it break? that’s fine #no… it’s in the toilet #😶 what #its in the sink… I put it on top of it and it slit down the sink #are u shitting me rn? #no it’s in the sink🥺 #I- okay let me look #I fucking undid the whole sink pipe and got it out 😂 #my girl almost had a heart attack #and at the end of our shift too we were all alone with the boss 🤣 #still laughing omg #definitely goes in > #specials #mind you it’s the key to all of our doors at work

[wolfythewitch]

My Watching Over Kids Hot Take a lot of kids just want someone to talk to them calmly without telling them what to feel. Or maybe they just want to talk and have someone listen

A kid at church today was sulking under a table blocked off by chairs that he couldn't get to play with this Optimus prime toy they had in a cabinet and when I asked him if he was willing to wait for it after the service or if maybe he had some toys at home he said he didn't and church was the only place he could play with one, and Optimus prime is his favorite character ever. I told him we couldn't let him play with it now, but if he was willing to wait until later when there were fewer kids he could take it for a spin. He was still sitting under the table but he wasn't frowning anymore. He told me about dinosaurs. His favorite is the allosaurus. He came out from under the table for a second just to mimic its roar. I said yooo that's sick my favorite is the pterodactyl. I mimed a screech (my dinosaur knowledge is very limited, alas). He crawled out from under the table and started clawing at the air, doing his best impression of a dinosaur. It was very cute. I think he likes dinosaurs almost as much as he likes Optimus prime. Then he ran off to play with the other kids

#i knoe this kid hes obsessed with optimus prime #another kid was really into spiderman #and wouldnt listen to anyone #and then i called him peter parker and told him to pick up the chairs he knocked over #and he did! #its so interesting #he's a good kid he's just got a lot of energy in that tiny body #and if the kid doesnt want to talk and just wants to sulk i mean let them #i usually just sit and keep them company #theyll be fine they just need a break

[taichouu]

Saw the leaks and all I could think about was Mic in a suit. Its 1 am and all I can think about is Mic in a suit. Happy Pride indeed.

#Coffee break #Bnha #Mha #Present mic #Hizashi yamada #Bnha spoilers #???? Sort of. Does it matter. Mic in a suit #I drew this so fast my hand was cramping like the demons took over my body #Didnt draw him with my usual tattoo hcs but its fine. Mic in a suit #my hero acadmia #boku no hero academia #Me and the 2 other present mic fans are popping bottles FR!!!!!!! #Did nezu ask him to dj at the graduation because hes an alumni or because hes just that good. Did he do it for free. Did nezu pay him #I have so many questions

[rqg179]

incredibly bold choice on aelwyn's part to return to fallinel given that she was directly responsible for the death of the previous elven oracle and indirectly responsible for the war between fallinel and solace, and also was technically part of a jail break from the court of stars. like she's a wanted criminal here and she's just going to narnia burning man

#all of the bad kids honestly they did straight up stage a jail break from the court of stars #but that just. seems to be fine #my post #d20 #fantasy high #fhjy

[junotter]

All the jokes about Ken and horses are good but I just wanna say it's such a good parallel to how actual young men get swept into misogyny and the patriarchy.

Like they're told to believe it means men get to be cool and manly and have this power but with that comes extremely rigid commands of what they can be as a man and a cycle of self hatred for never matching those gender roles perfectly. Patriarchy tells men that if they just do exactly what is expected of them, then they get all the "cool stuff" that comes with. That doesn't work though when there's only a small group that actually gets that power, but men will keep trying to fit into those roles in hopes that they can.

In the end there are no horses or the myth men are told, it's just endless cycles of self hatred and ingroup fighting.

#barbie #barbie movie #barbie spoilers #ig #ive got a lot more on how barbie looks at feminism and the patriarchy cause god they did it #not to say there isnt faults such as very little conversation about intersectionality #but i can also understand the impossible task of talking about EVERYTHING in one movie #not everyone will be happy and thats fine #anyway i think something barbie did really well is fight this battle of both wanting so deeply to love (romantically or not) men but also #not dismissing the fact its mens job to solve their problems themselves #that even if women need to be the front runners of breaking the patriarchy men cannot rely on them to solve their own problems completely #also just god im so glad this wasnt a girl boss slay movie #women deserve respect and love and life regardless of accomplishment #we should not have to be ceos and presidents and world problem solvers to gain equality #i can also understand if nonbinary people feel left out/disconnected from the movie #but as always gender abolition and acknowledging the gender binary (ie the one societially impossed) go hand and hand 👍 #just incase cause idfk terfs dni the barbie movie is not for you #barbie literally states constantly that her gender has nothing to do with (non existent) genitals so f off

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain #so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash #i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent #what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving #is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt #and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists #so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character #so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of #'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him' #but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid #and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like #the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of #being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths #then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part #and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts #and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine #this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer #and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like #how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil #and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit #like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma #but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel #and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple #bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed #but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal

[gearbroth]

Great to see you posting again. How've you been?

#miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #for the record im fine dkjhdsg #yes i did break my arm but im managing its okay dhglssgk #myart #gear answers #gear does a thing

[purple-raspberries]

A shooting star on Homewarming!

Splendid!

#my art #drawing #digital art #fanart #welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home fanart #sally starlet #mini comic #homewarming #this is what I was waiting to happen when I heard she was climbing trees to put herself at the top #Eddie saw the whole thing I assure you #he saw her at the top and went to look on his way out #then a distant CRACK #and down she went #break a leg they say in theater #not literally! #don’t worry she fine falling from that height #she fell from space this is nothing! #she really did look majestic sitting on that tree tho #radiant #effervescent

[the-kipsabian]

#hook #aew #all elite wrestling #aewedit #wrestlingedit #wrestling #night gifs #him looking for the firework was so precious tho #im convinced he did this in hopes of making oc break character for a second lmao #(rp blogs dont reblog; saving and other personal use with tag credits is fine)

[fulgurbugs]

Cleaned up a class doodle 2day

#OK FINE IM DRAWING HER TODAY I WAS GOING THRU MY WOMEN IN ART NOTES AND PICKING OUT THR GOOD DOODLES. FINE. #one piece #roronoa zoro #perona #one piece perona #fanart #anyways I got like halfway thru the stuff I needed to so im allowed my break not my fault perona is the most drawable character design ever #(zoro is the opposite I canr draw him it’s so hard help #) #anyways this one was my fav out of what I did last class so I finished it

[caliburn-the-sword]

imagine if regina realised she wanted kids like 18 years earlier and accidentally adopted emma swan. how fucking funny would that have been. she goes to ALL this effort to ruin snow's life and then ends up raising her daughter

#it would have worked. she wanted gretel all for herself. she could have defo realised sooner #ouat #once upon a time #emma swan #regina mills #emma: hey mum how come you look exactly the same in this photo from when you first adopted me to how you do now #regina: skincare routine #emma: no seriously you don't look much older than me #regina: don't think too hard about it it's fine #ofc hearing emma's name on the first night makes rumpelstiltskin wake up instantly #he'd end up staring at them through the bushes like how tf did this happen. what a turn of events #but also the curse ending because regina finds it within herself and learns to love and they break the curse naturally no conflict needed > #but also the absolute DRAMA this would cause in season 2 because like to the charmings!! the evil queen still won!! #anyway. it's late at night and i'm just in a silly goofy mood #no more nonsensical ramblings from me for today

[narsh-poptarts]

surprise surprise, taking a comics class has you making comics a lot!!!

#comic #my comic #black and white #B&W #my art #did I rush all of this in the couple hours before class again? #yes #but don't worry about it #he really really doesn't like it when i make loud noises #he gets so mad #bit my arm so hard #didn't really break the skin but still #ow #shout out to bubby you really made me genuinely a little fearful of you #we were fine and cuddling like 20 minutes later but i definitely spent the rest of that day walking on eggshells

[cloudcountry]

friendly reminder to fan content creators: you do not have to apologize for not doing requests or losing motivation. the fandom can wait. if they pressure you, they're shitty people. you do not have to apologize for not participating in your creative pursuits every single day. your time is your own and you should use it how you want. you are never obligated to give people the content they ask for if you're tired of it. don't apologize.

#since when did taking breaks become something people need to apologize for??? #you're FINE :C please take care of yourself first and foremost. #we would rather have you happy than have more content #auburn's rambles <3

[stuckinapril]

I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc

#And to be clear I have nothing against therapy. I’ve seen it do wonders for other people #I think the reason it’s a point of defeat (just a little) for me to be like ok. I need a therapist. Is bc I’m admitting to myself that I #need one to begin w. And I get it’s not healthy but I always liked to think I could handle anything by myself #That was even the whole point of this blog. It was supposed to serve as a conduit for these feelings #And I’m not saying I don’t have a support system. I do. I have many wonderful friends #But I struggle to be vulnerable at all tbh and whenever I am I’m guilty ab it bc #I understand so many people have busy lives & I feel like an emotional burden on them by venting #Despite them telling me that it’s totally fine. Obvi a therapist is literally paid to listen so no guilt there #And I think that’s what I need #I’m not like on the brink of a psychotic break or anything but it’s just little things. I think it’d be nice to sit in someone’s office for #One hour a week and just go. That did bother me actually. I am tired actually. I do feel that way actually. #Rather than just burying my feelings w school and a busy schedule #I don’t think therapy will make me any less of a workaholic anytime soon but it’ll at least allow me to slow down one hour a week #And also not bottle shit up so fuckin much #But ya all of this is to say I’m drafting the email to her RIGHT now . #Starting the day off strong by oversharing on tumblr dot com

[nat-without-a-g]

Haha, thinking about why Lark hates Henry again

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads spoilers #lark oak #Henry oak #em I know you’re not there yet don’t read the tags 🔫 #does lark even know why he hates his father so much? #when Henry met dood did he consider asking for a favor? #I’m in shambles #this is probably the only time every that a character hating someone has ever left me in shambles like this #nothing can be done to even repair it #and sparrow is over here essentially cosplaying their father and THATS fine #at least to lark #it’s just Henry’s EXISTENCE that’s the problem #and no talking or understanding or curse breaking or magical intervention can fix it #I’ve been circling in my head Henry possibly turning down a solution to keep lark’s autonomy #but really lark hasnt had any autonomy in his relationship with his father since he was a child #and he doesn’t even KNOW