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#detached so. literally horrible

yannaryartside · 8 days

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Claire, Richie and Fak keep treating Carmy like a child

In the long list of 🤨momments I had while watching Claire, are those when she literally said to Carmy, in a cute flirty voice, a version of “why don't you say this” and Carmy goes an says it. It happened twice as I recall. When she said “say one more time (that you wanted to have my number) and the other when they were helping that drunk girl at the party (that saint Claire ended up abandon either way) and she asked Carmy to repeat something. It gave “mother” “teacher” vibes. It is the thing that you do when you have to mold a child. She was molding him to her liking.

Same with Richie and Fak, breaking boundaries and insisting on them dating. Carmy definitely associates being with Claire with pleasing his family (Mickey included) when one of Carmy’s core wounds is how much they rejected him and his profession after Mickey banished him.

Carmy has feeling for Claire, I don't deny that. She is pleased with Carmy to the point of not demanding anything from him when he grow up in a house surrounded by people who made him think he was not good enough. People who treat our core wounds can be very seductive, to the point we may ignore others parts of our emotional needs. That is not either good or bad, but is good to be aware of it. How much you want this person because they made you feel you are not as bad as you think you are? How does that affect the dynamic?

The show is making a point to tell us how much Carmy may have never pursue a relationship with this her (mind you, even Claire said they were never close growing up) if his family had not pushed him in that direction.

Is not about “oh he is shy so he needs help” or that he is mentally ill. Loving someone doesn't mean taking away their agency. If anything If you love “molding” somebody, you just love the person they are after you molded them.

I think that comes back to his panicky attack. He seems unable to detach Claire from all the horrible memories and wounds related to his family. He may even feel that to be with with her, but he must be “molded” to all those expectations, theirs and hers. Do with that what you will.

#the bear #sydney adamu #sydcarmy #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear meta #carmy x sydney #carmy the bear #sydney x carmy #anti claire bear #claire is not a saint

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that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction · 2 months

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A BBC Merlin fanfic I wrote recently and then promptly forgot about

Merlin saves (tries to kill) Arthur

That one scene in A servant of two masters where Merlin is running at Arthur with the sword but he’s been fighting against the Fomorroh and finally wins.

(Part 2)

—

Arthur had been getting ready for almost half an hour, he still hadn’t gotten dressed but talking to Merlin about the suspected traitor was helped him to process.

Merlin hated this. The detachment from his own body, the fact that he was fighting for control over himself, that his magic had retreated so far from his reach so the fomorroh wouldn’t be able to use it. He hated that Arthur was grappling with issues he couldn’t help with and while Merlin made sure he failed to properly set a crossbow to kill him, made sure to hide his magic from Morgana and the Fomorroh, it wasn’t enough to fix this. He’d think about Leon later and beg the man to at least question him when he made such obvious threats to Arthur’s life.

His usual threats were much more comedic. Leaving Arthur to dress himself till he died of embarrassment, letting him fend for himself for a day till he starved to death or accidentally poisoned himself with bad cooking, stopping adding holes into his belt till he squeezed himself in half.

Just killing him was never something Merlin would say now he’d become friends with Arthur. Maybe while he was still a pratish prince, but not anymore.

Arthur opened the wardrobe, Merlin panicked for a moment until the crossbow failed. Fomorroh was angry, of course, but it gave him a little longer to break out of its control.

He could hardly focus until distantly, he heard Arthur ask for a sword and Fomorroh preened. Merlin fought harder than he ever had before, calling on his magic to do anything to protect Arthur as he desperately tried to take back control.

It felt like a gasp of momentary fresh air.

“Arthur,” he murmured, pained and weak.

Arthur turned back, but his hold wasn’t enough to keep Fomorroh back. Merlin was lost in his mind again by the time Arthur started to ask: “Merlin? Are you alright?”

“Yes, fine. Fine. Ceremonial sword. Of course.” A distant voice that sounded like his own but distorted and broken echoed through Merlin’s skull.

“Yes…” Arthur looked him over and turned away. Arthur was saying something, Merlin used his voice as an anchor to reality. To remember that Arthur was his friend, his king, his destiny. That he would do anything to keep him safe, “but...can't trust anyone.”

Merlin hated the irony of it in that moment.

His hand was on the hilt of a sword.

Merlin struggled for control again. He’d do anything. He’d rather fall on the sword himself.

He held it up, testing the weight and ability to run a man through.

Merlin desperately fought, pushing his magic forward so he could at least protect Arthur.

“In fact, I think you, Merlin, are the only person I can trust.” Arthur said, his back to Merlin and the sword and all the bitter horrible irony of being the one to literally stab his best friend in the back after so many betrayals.

His body took a step, then another,

The door to Arthur’s chambers opened with a panicked Gwen and Gaius looking at him, horrified at what he was about to do.

Merlin felt a surge of magic finally win out over the dark forces that powered the Fomorroh’s will.

Arthur turned around, seemingly recognising the fear in Gwen and Gaius, and saw Merlin taking rushed steps towards him with a sword raised.

Then Merlin’s eyes flooded with gold as he froze, mid movement, gasping and trembling to hold onto the control he’d fought desperately for. He just needed a moment. It wasn’t going to last but if he could just-

“Merlin!” Arthur stumbled back, shock and confusion and betrayal on his face.

Arthur’s voice gave him a focus point to stay in control.

“Morgana-“ he forced out, focusing solely on Arthur and his best friend and keeping him safe no matter the cost. “Mind control. Fomorroh. Knock me out.” He looked to Arthur with gold in his eyes, seeing fear to match his own looking back at him, “Please.”

Arthur was frozen, but in the corner of his eye Merlin saw Gwen move, then his head snapped to the side with a sharp pain and everything went black.

—

Hope you enjoyed. Thoughts?? I might rewrite/continue this as a fix-it for the whole episode :)

#bbc merlin #merlin #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #merlin bbc #merlin fanfic #fanfic #i’m bad at tagging #a servant of two masters #fix it #sort of #it would be a fix it if I finished it

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haet-sal · 1 year

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Avenging Angel Dystopia // monster!seonghwa x reader x yunho (you cheat on yunho with non-human seonghwa)

In a barren, dictatorship-controlled nation, you lead a simple life with your boyfriend Yunho, a pianist, too oppressed to rebel. As stories of the people in high society being murdered run through the news, you come to find out who—or what—is behind these killings.

Tags: JUST SKIP TO THE SMUT IF YOU WANT you monsterfucker, yunho x reader (established, no smut), seonghwa x reader smut, cunnilingus + P in v, unprotected but hes not human

Warnings: politics tw, murder tw, seonghwa is literal man-eating monster tw, religion tw (but no prophets and jesus/god are mentioned, just seonghwa is an angel. There are scenes of praying)

w.c.: 7k

Excerpt: He knew every single thing you were feeling, and if it were something that could be shrouded, you’d cover yourself… you feel your mind was naked in front of him, every dirty thought.

Seonghwa grew agitated by your own thoughts of nakedness, dirtiness, your corrupted mind—to distract the both of your from all those thoughts, he rushes to you, catching you in a devouring kiss, so red and hot that it could light up and heat up the dark, gelid apartment.

You taste iron on his tongue, like bars in jail cells, like rusted knives, like blood. As soon as you remember the taste of blood, you pull away. Remembering he isn’t human. Remembering what he does, what he has done. His nature.

“I understand if it’s too much for you,” he says. “I understand if you find it hard to be with me this way.”

“You read my mind, you know that’s not true, you know I want you.”

A smile ghosted his lips. “Good thing I live in the in-between. Not quite angel, not quite demon, not quite human.”

You’re making sandwiches for Yunho so he can take them to his tutoring job, when your boyfriend bursts through the room, hurriedly, clutching journal paper in his hands. “Yunho,” you sighed, more afraid than anything, “those are contraband.”

“I just had to buy this month’s issue,” Yunho says as he paged through the detached pages, made with no sense of expertise. “There’s good news in them, I just had to read about it.”

“Yunho…” you sighed. “If they catch us with contraband newspapers, they’ll take everything from us. They’ll take you from me—”

“It’s alright!” He laughs. “They’re not about to storm our apartment out of the blue, don’t be silly.”

Yunho isn't you, he doesn’t know how to be afraid.

Or rather, you weren't Yunho, weren't as tall or as strong, and you had many things to be afraid of. Yunho doesn’t know what happened to you three years ago, as soldiers stormed your home, arrested your entire family, accused of being rebels—they seized every piece of property you had, every asset, froze every bank account. Yunho wasn’t there, except for your barefoot walk to his apartment, where you collapsed in tears, and he promised you that the worst was over now.

You decided to relent; he’s right, soldiers weren’t about to storm your apartment any time soon. Plus, things have… gotten better, ever since they got more control over the rebels in the city. War is freedom.

You sighed. “So… what’s the good news?”

“There’s been reports.” Yunho paged through the contraband pages hurriedly, looking for the one page that started on the whole exposè. “A couple of the general’s friends, and some family members—brutally murdered. In their own homes. They say their organs were missing. I thought the newspaper might tell us more.”

You frowned. “That’s a horrible thing to be so happy about…”

“They deserve it, though.”

It’s soon sunset, and the powerful stomps of soldiers marching filled the streets, as people rushed to close their windows, shrouding themselves from the patrol. You and Yunho included, draw the blinds in your flat and decided to have dinner.

You made the dinner, although Yunho can cook better than you—you guessed that you had to do something, just to feel like there’s still life left for you.

“I actually might play at a—” Yunho stopped midway through the conversation at the table.

You raised an eyebrow. “Play where?”

“Somewhere… grand.”

“Like a hotel ball? Wedding? Big wedding? Am I close?”

Your naive little guesses almost lightened the big man up, only the light in his eyes turned red and anxious the minute his work phone started to ring, very urgently so, almost vibrating itself off the table.

Yunho paled, as he grabbed the phone off the dinner table. “What—” you start, but he runs out of the apartment to take it, a pair of long legs taking him outside faster than you could finish the sentence.

He doesn’t talk about it for a while. You know he’s trying to gain more exposure as a pianist, he’s amazing at playing—and he even composes. The way his fingers work across the ivory keys and the black-pebble flats and sharps—you swear you’ve never met a more proficient player, never mind that he never finished music college—you didn’t either. Yunho’s income came mostly out of teaching kids how to play and getting random gigs sporadically, at acoustic nights at restaurants and whatnot.

“I’m booked for something next Saturday,” he told you in bed a week after that day. He was spooning you, head nuzzled inside the crook of your neck. The baby hairs on your nape wavering under his words.

“That’s great…”

“It’s… a strange job. I’m going to be playing at a party… you know who Seo-chee is, right?”

“The dictator’s daughter?”

“She’s throwing a ball.”

“A ball.” Yunho started to explain the concept of balls to you, as if you hadn’t watched Cinderella in your lifetime. The audacity that high-society was having a ball—when half the nation’s population was starving to death—was just pompous, if anyone heard it they’d be livid with curses. As if the dictatorship wasn’t cursed enough already—and your boyfriend was going to aid them at the party, with his music. You can’t even imagine it happening.

“You actually took the job?” you prodded.

“I… yeah. As soon as they called—they’re paying thousands. For four hours.” You went quiet. “Baby… you know we need the money.”

You turn yourself around on the bed to look at Yunho, who is just trying to appease you. He knows he shouldn’t have, what repercussions it had—he was just trying to feed the both of you.

So you guessed you couldn’t stay mad. But for a long time, you did.

“Yunho, I can’t go in there, they’ll arrest me.”

“Calm down, you’re not a rebel, and we’re pretending we’re military supporters today.” His tone was quiet, calming, which he always used whenever you started having these panics. “You look beautiful.” You were wearing some ancient ball-attendee dress you’d fished out of the depths of your closet.

The mansion wasn’t just a mansion, it was a palace. There was a long walk towards the steps into the main mansion, the pathway surrounded by a forest of trees. A soldier took you on a cart, sparing you the long walk, once Yunho mentioned he was the entertainment.

The high society was ignorant to the citizens starving in the streets, the appetizers of lobster tails and caviar served on plates as they dug in, every little debutante and their dates in their tailored suits. You didn’t take any—it didn’t seen fair to eat when your own neighbors were starving.

To you, the ball was a bore, and Yunho only played classics, and he’s always amazing but there’s just… something that wouldn’t let you enjoy it, an uncomfortableness. You wandered out into the lobby, where glass separated the columns outside from the inside, through which you could view the garden perfectly.

You notice something outside of the glass, walking, as if wandering the terrain, like a hunter stalking its prey. You don’t even understand what someone would be doing outside, not enjoying the music or appetizers, but the thing… fades further into view.

It’s a man. He had platinum white hair that waved in the wind, although not lightly, as if each strand of hair had resistance to it, and he was wearing these strange… robes, that not only seemed inappropriate for the ball, seemed out of date. Like way out of date. Like two millennia out of date.

Once he notices that you had seen him, he erects his head slowly, watching you—a lop-sided stare. Eyes seeming to move every time you did.

And then, he grins. His teeth are inhuman. Sharp, dangerous, a thousand teeth like a leviathan. You scream, but to not make a scene, you cover your mouth with your own hands.

And then the man seemed to fade away from view as quickly as he had appeared.

You rationalize what you had seen, it must have been just a man. To not seem all that crazy, you wander the mansion trying to ask someone if they saw him too. You decided to ask the men eating at a table outside the ballroom.

“Um…” you tap someone on the back, the train of your dress dragging behind you. Unfortunately once the man turns around, so does the rest of the circle at the table, and you realize this is a soldiers’ circle—they were all armed, perhaps in a way that you could say lightly, with handguns strapped to their belts.

It makes you lose your courage, the fact that they could simply… shoot you right then and there.

“What is it?” the soldier whose shoulder you tapped asks.

“Um… I just… I wanted to ask, does anyone know that man, outside?” They all looked confused. “The man,” you clarify, “with the white hair, and he’s got this… cloak on, and he’s wearing robes under it.”

The soldiers look among themselves. “I’ll check it out,” the roughest-looking one of them says. “If someone’s breached the grounds it could be dangerous—you better not be lying about this, though, kid.” He glares at you, but you’re more distracted by how he so readily unholstered his gun, as he steps outside the giant glass gates.

You’re now left in the midst of the other soldiers, who are unrestful, but they didn’t seem to be taking your claims very seriously. They started to talk among them, until other partygoers approached, wanting to know what was going on.

“This lady,” says a younger soldier, “says she saw a man outside—white hair, and a cloak. Has anyone seen…?”

The people who approached—mostly young debutante-aged maidens—shake their heads. “A man?!”

“He didn’t…” you begin, and regretted having formed that sentence, or that thought, entirely. “He didn’t look human. I mean, he had human features, but something… it felt like he had some kind of power, that wasn’t human.”

The entire congregation gathered in front of you bursts out laughing. “Miss Y/N… you’ve had too much to drink.”

“Why did the pianist’s lover get invited… ugh. Commoners are weird.”

“Probably crawled out of her rebel hideout to come here…”

Sensing you weren’t welcome, you step back–you look over your shoulder, and the soldier had returned, gun finally reholstered. “There’s nothing,” he says. “No one.”

“What’s wrong?”

You gasp. That’s the dictator’s daughter. You’ve seen her in pictures in stories covering their family, right now you were just surprised she was actually talking to you—and in front of her, she had wheeled her grandmother—the dictator’s mother—a frail old lady, past 90, ancient and barely conscious but still dressed up for the party, heavy scarlet stones weighing heavily from her neck.

“This… lady, says that she saw a man outside,” answered the young soldier. “There’s nothing there, though, so—”

Everyone turns in alarm as the old grandmother’s head tilts. Her gaze lands straight at you, and it’s not indifferent like seconds before, there was fear— “You see him too,” she speaks, although her voice was weak; it just adds to all the terror of it. “The demon. He stalks us… The harbinger.”

You step backwards as the old woman starts to shake, opening your mouth to say no, I was seeing things—but she continues: “I see him too. A head of white hair… His eyes—his eyes—!”

The people around you started to murmur, while the daughter attempted to calm her down. “No one said anything about white hair.”

You turn on your heels before anyone could say anything else, basically sprinting to the ballroom. As soon as you near the gold-encrusted gates, the sounds of Yunho’s piano calms you down, and your heart starts beating normally again.

You don’t approach him, simply watching from the door. His broad shoulders erected firm in posture, the one thing he teaches foremost to his students—a small smile started forming on your lips.

It’ll be okay. You can put this night and the ugliness and the soldiers and the guns behind you once you go to bed tonight. You hate this mansion, as grand as it is. The entire place reeked of evil, of bloodshed. So many murderers under one roof.

Yunho raises his eyes to look at the crowd, and his eyes land on you, immediately lighting up. His face was mostly covered by the lid of the grand piano, but you see the crinkle in his eyes. You waved at him, but immediately walk backwards out of the ballroom, not wanting to distract him.

The party would go on for a few more hours, and although you’re afraid of the man—the thing—you saw, you’re more afraid of the soldiers and military supporters in the building, so you decided to wander the acres of garden area that the mansion has.

There’s swarms of mosquitos, gnats, fireflies, all over the garden. You keep walking to keep them from landing on you, but those bugs were persistent… suddenly, you see something in the garden. Something glowing.

In folklore, there was a story about a princess, so beautiful with such fair complexion that she could light up an entire palace without candles. You didn’t understand what you were seeing until then—it was just skin. Skin that reflected so much moonlight.

Although you guessed it wasn’t skin, it was a guise of skin. A higher being donning makeshift-humanity.

The monster turned around, and it was only a man, although that’s just what he wanted you to think.

You couldn’t speak, so he started.

“It makes you feel bad for your prayers, doesn’t it? Actually being close to a soldier? They murder children in cold blood, but here at the party they’re offering to top up your champagne glass. It confuses you.”

He’s… human. You push aside your initial foreboding to interact with him well, maybe he’s just an addition to the guest list people forgot. And yet… something in you wasn’t settled. You knew he couldn't be normal.

“It doesn’t make me feel bad,” he continued. “I like it when you pray, Y/N. ‘Dear God, please destroy their armies’... Not an ethical wish, but something I’m used to, back when tyrants ruled the land.”

You gasp. Was he some sort of… religious fanatic? Was he— “My name…” In realization that you never once told him anything about you, you recoil, thinking of the best way to escape him. You couldn’t go around the fountain, because he’d catch you immediately. And you didn’t have the courage to run deeper into the trees.

“It shouldn’t shock you that I know you,” the man says. “I hear every single one of your prayers. Every night. And your prayers are your deepest desires, are they not? You wish for their deaths, every single day…”

There’s just something so deeply unsettling about his eyes, and the more you look at him you get this uncanny feeling. Like he’s something playing at being human.

“You’re upset I know your name,” he says. “I’ll tell you mine so you can call me by it, then—I’m Seonghwa.”

You try to calm yourself. See, Y/N? He’s just human. He has a name. A human name. There are no such things as demons—

“You think I’m a demon?”

You frown. Did you say that out loud? How did he—

“I’m far from it,” Seonghwa promises you, with a smile that’s slowly spreading across his face. Literally.

He grins.

His teeth…

You could scream. Those are not human teeth. They’re so perfectly hidden behind his perfect lips, but he’s got fangs. And not even just fanged canines, it’s… every single tooth. White, ivory fangs.

“Be not afraid.”

You could scream.

His voice at times seemed to come from inside you, as if he were a ventriloquist and he had his voice inside of your head. He didn’t even seem to be moving his mouth as he spoke, which proved that he was a trick of the light, a being more complex than you could understand.

Okay, maybe he does know your prayers. He does know what the military had done, everything he say is right. And those fangs… maybe that was the one lie, a trick of your own madness.

“You want to know who I am, what my business here is.” You nodded, you did want to know. “You must have heard about it. The… executions?”

You remembered. The things Yunho was so over the moon about. The high society people that seemed to keep dying. “You’re responsible?”

When he nods, you look away just so the fangs don’t nerve you any longer.

“I was…” he hums, looking up at the darkened sky. Now the entire conversation was merely moon-lit. “I was… scoping out my next victim. You’ve compromised me though—I don’t want you or your boyfriend caught in a crossfire, if I did something and they started suspecting you two—I guess I’ll just have to wait. I can be patient.”

You believed him. In his eyes, there was nothing but a calm patience, as if he could wait eternity to deal with his victims, almost like a sniper soldier.

“Miss Y/N!” It’s that young soldier from before, you’re glad it’s him, because between him and this demon and the other soldier, he’s the least intimidating. “What are you doing here alone?”

You gawked. Did he just… did he see through Seonghwa? Could he not see him, at all?

You stare at Seonghwa, silently begging him for an explanation, but he’s closed his lips entirely, hiding those monstrous fangs.

The soldier walks through Seonghwa, grabbing you harshly by the arm. “You shouldn’t be out here. I know it’s tempting at a boring party, but we have security to worry about.”

You looked over your shoulder as the soldier dragged you away, and Seonghwa’s still standing at the fountain, still smiling, eyes still bright and unhuman. “I’m sorry,” you apologize to the soldier, “I thought a quick walk was okay—umm, hey, young man…” You stop in your tracks, as does the soldier. You turn him towards the fountain, where Seonghwa’s still standing. “Do you… see that?”

He frowns. “Excuse me?”

“The man,” you clarify, “right there. Standing by the fountain. Do you see him?”

“Miss… please don’t scare me. You know military folk are superstitious.”

“You really don’t see—”

“Please! Don’t! You’re freaking me out.” The soldier turns to youth speech from his informal politeness. “Please, come back to the party—before your boyfriend gets snatched.”

“She’s been talking to him since before I came to get you,” says the young soldier, as he walked you back into the ballroom. “He had to put a rest to playing Clair de Lune to converse with her… oh, well, I suppose she is the most powerful woman in the nation…”

The dictator’s daughter is bent over the grand piano talking to Yunho. She’s giving him awe-inspiring heart-eyed stares, and you’re not even jealous, you’re afraid.

What if she sees you as an enemy, and somehow gets rid of you? The way her father gets rid of rebels—

But Yunho sees you from across the room, and smiles. That smile was going to get you killed.

The dictator’s daughter looks at his smile, almost mesmerized in it, believing it was for her. And then she looks behind her, to see you–the real receiver of that smile. And her gaze burned.

The nation rejoices as more of the dictator’s friends’ deaths hit the news, one by one falling like dominos. The details are always the same: attacked, ambushed, in their own homes, sometimes even in their own bedrooms. Brutally torn through with organs missing, not one trace of the attacker left behind. Maybe because he had no DNA to leave behind. You knew even the dictator, in his bomb shelter locked away from any danger, had to be afraid.

They were afraid of Seonghwa.

You don’t know if he’s real—correction, you can’t be sure if he’s real. But some part of you knew it was, that you didn’t make up this beautiful, pale angelic face—it’s beyond imagination, he has to be real.

But you just grow more afraid, knowing what you know. Knowing what was responsible. You’d discussed it with a religious older neighbor, and she’d just said—”it’s an angel. An angel is delivering comeuppance.” But you’d think Seonghwa was purely… a demon.

One night, you’re coming back from the corner store, where you’d rushed to do last-minute grocery shopping after having forgotten through your preoccupation, you dragged a heavy plastic bag of groceries back home.

Suddenly, in the alleyway right next to your flat, someone pushes you, from the dark, shoving you into the alley between two flats. You gasp, but couldn’t scream—perhaps for your own good.

“Look, we don’t—we don’t want to do this.” The masked attackers let their leader speak. “Just give us the groceries, and your money—please, some of our kids at home are starving—”

You’re shocked and didn’t know what to do, so you gape up at them until they take the bag into their own hands, only to stop in their tracks when a shadow approaches.

You don’t know what kind of thing scared them, but they dispersed quickly, screaming.

It’s a luna eclipse night. His skin still glowed, but not with the moonlight anymore.

“It’s not very nice to steal, although they were pushed to this situation—still, I’d rather you keep what you paid for.” Seonghwa’s voice rang through your senses like a breeze. So soft, so grand.

You’re more scared of what he was than you’d ever be afraid of those bandits. You scrunched your eyes shut and started to pray: “Lord have mercy. Deliver us from evil, deliverusfromevildeliverusfrom—”

“I’m not evil. If anything, those prayers would call me closer—an angel.”

Your eyes shoot open. “You’re not…”

“I am.”

You look at him, and you could believe it. He’s that handsome, almost to the point where the only reason was that he was so wonderfully made. You step further back into the alley until your back hits the wall.

“Why are you here?”

“I see most things that are happening in this country—it is my duty, after all.” Seonghwa hesitated if he should add his next words. “But I look after you especially. I am familiar with your life, your suffering.”

“That doesn’t make me feel good,” you protest. “You’ve been watching me?!”

“Everyone is watched—from birth. Let me assure you you are far from a sinner—you’re the kind of innocent soul I’d whisk away from this hell if I could.”

“Why don’t you?”

“I’m a harbinger, not a savior, or even a protector.”

Meaning all he does is kill. You shudder.

“You’re still shaking, and I can feel the rapidity of your heart from here.” He steps closer towards you, and you almost wish he’d step even closer, just because you feel safer under his light than in the dark.

“Let me calm you down,” Seonghwa says softly. Then, his hand wraps around the back of your head, and he presses a kiss to your warm lips, his smelling and tasting like fresh fruit, refreshing, like he’d come from somewhere green and pleasant, away from this barren landscape.

When you open your eyes, he’s gone, and your heart rate has never been calmer. And the air smelled sweet.

“You’ve been… distant,” Yunho starts with a sigh, like he didn’t want to be talking about this… “ever since I played at that military party—are you mad at me that I took the job?”

You didn’t reply, not because he was right, but because you didn’t know how to start explaining. If you told him about Seonghwa—he’d call you crazy. He’d think the loneliness and the fear had finally maddened you. “I’m right, aren’t I?” Yunho scoffed. “I know I shouldn’t be some bootlicker artist, but we needed the money, and—you know what happens to people that turn them down.”

“I’m glad you took it,” you say, insincerity apparent in how monotone you sounded. “Who knows what they could have done to us if you hadn’t?”

He sighed. “But you’re mad.”

“You’re mere entertainment to the people who took my family from me—excuse me if I’m disappointed.”

“You said it yourself—who knows what they would have done to us?!”

“Yunho,” you sighed. “I love you, and I’m disappointed. At the same time. And you know, you have a new admirer.”

“The daughter?” Yunho was aghast. “It’s… it’s not…” He couldn’t come up with a lie nor a reassurance. Everything you’d said was true.

You find out later that she had been calling his work phone, over and over again. And he always took it—who knows what she’d do?

Seonghwa visits the apartment, on his own will—he wasn’t some unholy beast that had to be invited in. Every border allowed him inside.

He watched you, poised from the window as you washed dishes—it didn’t matter if he fell, so you don’t utter any complaints.

“Why are you dressed like that?” you ask. “It’s like… haven’t you had a wardrobe change since 800BC?”

“No one can see me,” Seonghwa says, more of an excuse than anything. “It’s comfortable,” he finally answers.

“Stuck in your old ways from millenia… hmm, not a good look, demon.”

“Angel,” he insisted. “You know, if you keep calling me demon, I’m going to think you don’t think I'm too pretty.”

But he knew he was.

Sometimes you’d begin to think that maybe you were losing your mind, cooped up in a barren flat in a barren city with your anxious thoughts to accompany you, and Seonghwa was a manifestation of this madness. But the constant news of murder after murder confirmed that Seonghwa was indeed real, and indeed everything he said he was.

He didn’t call what he did ‘murders’. Murders took human, stealing life from another human. He wasn’t one. What he did was comeuppance, divine instruction, divine punishment. Heaven’s work was what he was doing.

Yunho isn’t tutoring anymore, but he has more money than ever. You know what it is, but didn’t have the heart to point it out—you didn’t want to lose him, and you knew the minute you shed light on it, the entire lie would blow up. You had no one to discuss this dishonesty to, because once they find out who he’s been cheating with on you, you both would be nothing but traitors.

Storm season is around, as the city had been built around rivers. Rising tides and cyclones kill, but the only deliverance the high society faced is Seonghwa’s doing. Military families die, and new soldiers take their positions, although they were all well-aware—they were being haunted. Still they insist it was a serial killer, nothing supernatural—you guessed they had to think that way, to believe heaven was still on their side.

Tonight, the storm hits your part of the city, and the thunder doesn’t stop. As the rainclouds block the sun totally throughout the day, there’s no solace, no light—the electricity cuts off, and Yunho hasn’t come home since the previous night.

You can pretend the blackout is just a precaution for the storm, but you know the houses on the hills—aka the high-society neighborhood—stay lit with the brightest lights. While you hunted in the dark for flashlights and candles.

“Yunho…” you cursed your boyfriend’s name, you had asked him to buy some candles for the apartment, but he never got around to it—although you guess you shouldn’t be so mad, he was always preoccupied, trying to earn money, trying to stay alive for you—

The storm wasn’t going to be that bad. You hoped. A cyclone was happening two shores over, and it carried the winds on to your city. You wished that everything was well at the shore settlements, as you went on looking for candles, and flashlights.

“Sweetheart,” comes the neighboring lady’s frail little voice, “I don’t mean to be a bother—could I have a candle, please? I know these things cost an arm and a leg these days, I just—”

“No, it’s no big deal!” you bellow so she hears you over the thunder. You bring out the little cup with its candle to her, promptly presenting it. “Here—don’t worry about it.”

When she murmurs her thanks and is gone, your sole light source was the flashlight in your hands.

The storm was starting, so you go to close the windows, not wanting dust and rain to get blown through the crevices, and you block the entire outside out, although the lightning flashes shined through the gaps every time they struck.

“My Y/n.”

You scream, a sound so shrill it cuts through, and you drop the flashlight, which shatters, bulb and the glass protection in the front. You’re still screaming, grabbing at nothing now that the flashlight had slipped away from you.

You recognize him by his clothes. Robes in the fashion of millennia ago. You finally calm down, remembering that Seonghwa couldn’t hurt you.

“Shush,” he says with celerity, approaching you and the flashlight on the floor, which still shined a dim, dying light.

You gasp. “Oh no, I broke it!”

Seonghwa wordlessly touched it, glass shards and all, and presents it back to your hands.

And it’s fixed. The broken bulb, the glass, everything.

You stare in curiosity, but he’s been so honest with you the whole time. It’s hard to believe a real living angel is in front of you, but when he shows his powers this way…

It’s still pretty damn hard to believe.

You just stare back at him, with wide eyes. Pointing the fixed light at his chest. Is that… a fleck of blood… on his skin?

“Turn it off, please?” Seonghwa requested. “I don’t like it to be so brightly lit.”

“O–of course.” Your hands stutter as you blindly reach for the switch on the flashlight, to turn it off. As soon as it’s off, you take a good look at Seonghwa, who you’ve only seen in moonlight, in dim alleys, always hidden in the shadows. Now you’re close enough to him that you can see every little thing you’d missed all the other times—how neat his clothes were, not torn at all; his features, too beautiful to be human; his perfect hair, which you still didn’t know why it chose to be platinum.

“I need a text from Yunho first,” you tell Seonghwa. “Before I can rest easy, like you told me to do.”

“He’s going to sit the storm out at her house. He’s completely roofed, and safe. You can embrace each other in the morning.”

You frown.

“Don’t be ashamed that I know he’s unfaithful—I couldn’t help but know.”

He knew every single thing you were feeling, and if it were something that could be shrouded, you’d cover yourself… you feel your mind was naked in front of him, every dirty thought.

You taste iron on his tongue, like bars in jail cells, like rusted knives, like blood. As soon as you remember the taste of blood, you pull away. Remembering he isn’t human.

Remembering what he does, what he has done. His nature.

“I understand if it’s too much for you,” he says. “I understand if you find it hard to be with me this way.”

“You read my mind, you know that’s not true, you know I want you.”

His mouth, fangs and all, sinks into the skin of your neck, although he doesn’t so cruelly bite down, so delicately feeling you with his lips, every inch of vulnerability awakening something in him. “You want me,” he concluded. “You want me, in that way.”

You nod slowly, you knew it was true. “Can you…?”

“I work very closely to human sin, remember?” the angel speaks. His voice is everywhere around you, it’s like it’s coming from your own head. “I may not… know what it’s supposed to feel like, really, but I know how enjoyable it can be, for you.” He reached out, tracing your face, when you frown, concentrating on looking at him, he tenderly caresses the creases between your eyebrows and the pout of your lips, thumb ghosting over every feature. “Every little nerve working in your body… every open mouthed moan… every pain in your core—I know you humans love it.”

And he’s so real. Like a real, warm human body. You almost forget what he really is…

“But will you feel it?” you ask. “It… it won’t be right if you don’t feel the pleasure.”

A smile ghosted his lips. “Good thing I live in the in-between. Not quite angel, not quite demon, not quite human.” He leans in close to you, it’s the closest you’ve ever had him to you, you think— “But I have a cock I can indeed derive pleasure from…”

You just stared up at him, not even remembering to swallow the saliva in your throat.

“You don’t believe me.”

“Don’t read my thoughts,” you beg.

His laugh is musical, and rings in your ears. “Aww, I was just—you’re right, that’s not fair of me. It’s just a habit, I’ll…” he puts his hands to his ears. “I’ll play deaf to all your thoughts, I promise.”

“Whatever I think, you hear it?” There’s such a sad helplessness in your words.

“Not from now on—I am at your command.” He kissed your eyes. “Every command.”

“If I do this, will you fall?” You step closer to him and kiss him, the way you kiss Yunho on fervent, feverish nights, soft lips battling with the power of corruption, although you didn’t know how much you could corrupt…

Seonghwa smiles into the kiss, and smiles even bigger when you pull away. “Fall, like from heaven?” He tuts at you with a tilted chin. “You need to try harder than that—although… it does make me farther than ever from my goal of getting wings, it’s something I can work for again.”

(The day he revealed himself to you again, and proclaimed he was an angel, you’d asked: “if you’re an angel, where are your wings?” and he answered he was working for them, just didn’t have them yet.) You knew he wanted those wings, so why would he step so many steps backwards, just for you…?

“Because you’re worth it,” he answered. Then he holds his tongue. “Oops. I’m meant to not listen in, aren’t I?”

He’s close to you again, didn’t even walk towards you—just phase-shifted to you—”I’m sorry,” he whispers, but his voice echoes in the depths of your mind again, “your thoughts are just so loud. You’re so… apparent—needy, aroused, curious... it’s almost innocent, how plain your desires are.”

You swallow air just to not breathe it out.

Seonghwa kisses you again, this time with an unyielding force, his hands go to the straps of your top and just pull them down, revealing your chest, pure skin so soft and yielding to his touch, but he doesn’t touch, only stares.

“If I coveted what was your boyfriend’s, that would make me a hypocrite, huh?” You don’t know how he’s done it, but he cuts your pants off you with a swipe of his hands, and you’re naked… for him. You reached for his robes, which came off easily with a pull of a string.

His skin is also pale, unbroken, bright, reflecting. It’s so beautiful you can’t help but be aroused, and as the slick gathers around your lips, Seonghwa carries you, only to the couch in your vicinity, big enough to lay down fully.

The fact that you’re letting a monster fuck you on the couch your boyfriend bought wasn’t lost to you. But when Seonghwa touches you again, stone-cold skin that burned you, you realize there was so much passion, that you wanted it over your own current life. Seonghwa could fix you.

You feel his tongue against your clit, so easily submitting to you, giving you pleasure, as if he weren’t a creature more than anything you ever were.

Seonghwa was aggressive, as if starved—he'd never wanted to taste anything human before, and this gave him a new kind of hunger, impossible to comprehend even in his higher brain.

His hands come up to your torso as he buries his face in your needy cunt, and you grab the hands, intertwining it in yours. He seemed to appreciate the closeness, clasping it tighter.

“Seong—Hwa—so—good!” You hadn't been brought so high, for your moans to be so pornographic, in a long time. Your toes curl up, you throw your head back.

To admit it, you and Yunho had the kind of sex where it couldn’t help either of you relax, bodies growing tenser and tenser as you considered your place in the dictator regime, your futures, how far you’d go to protect each other, when the last time you could be together was. Too many worries, too vulnerable like prey animals in the open field, to ever enjoy the sex.

With Seonghwa it was different. He opened you up. His kiss relaxes every nerve in you, lets you think clearly, lets you focus on the pleasure. You loved Yunho, but he was just a man.

Seonghwa’s long fingers roam your body, every part of it, while yours stay embedded in the skin of his shoulders and chest, just holding onto him, until he’s realer and realer with every passing second.

“Your—” you start, gesturing at his cock—so pretty, a pale, brownish beige color, pretty in every aspect. He nods. “You can feel me with it?”

You don’t see his expression anymore, as he buries his head between your head and shoulder, into the couch, as he enters you—all you hear from him is a guttural groan.

The couch drags against the flooring as he thrusts into you, standing up on the side of the couch. You praise him, telling him how good he's doing for his first time since merely watching, and his thrusts turn harder.

“you—every part of you—is amazing,” he says, maybe it was his turn to praise you.

He then wordlessly admires how you cum to your high, eyes too hazed over to even recognize him, or Yunho if he had returned.

Seonghwa’s porcelain grin flashes, lit up by the lightning around the flat, he’s looking mischievous—you reach out for him, and he’s real with his body, so close to you. “Poor baby,” he says. “You’ve never felt pleasure like this before.”

His thumb started to circle around your clit, almost too tender as if you were so precious to him, and then faster, to the point where you move away from him, just because you didn’t know how to handle that level of arousal.

Laughing, Seonghwa keeps rubbing your clit, but holds you down by the hips with his other hand. Your only option now is to moan, so loudly, you think you could start screaming. You realize you’d go unheard, through the storm, anyway, but didn’t want to risk it.

You look up at him with fluttering eyelashes, almost pleadingly. You’re exhausted already, just from everything you’ve done—Yunho, even in all his stature, had never tired you out this way before.

When you’re tightening around nothing—he wasn’t even generous enough to put his finger in so you could feel something—and spasming around his palm, Seonghwa smiles, head disappearing between your legs to lick the rest of the slick off, although he wiped his dirty hands on your bare stomach. Then he faces you again.

“I think—” Seonghwa breathed out a laugh, “I think this is depravity, you feel it too, don’t you? My corruption—”

He’s not even half exhausted, when you’re so fucked out you don’t think you can take anything anymore.

“You—bring—” You gasped, as he, with gritted teeth and tense nerves, enters you again, determined to get you both onto the same kind of high. “—me—so far… from heaven.”

You’re losing all senses, and when you arch your back, Seonghwa’s hands are there to support you, eyes rolled back and not making sense of the world anymore. Through the window, lightning flashes every two seconds, the outside world too stormy even for the soldiers to patrol.

Seonghwa disappears after he’d tended to your sore body, wiping the sweat of your brow and then kissing the very same place. And then he swore that he would come back. And then, he looks back at you—

“Yunho,” he says, “I’m glad he can protect you, but he can’t go that far. Right now, he’s not being honest—and you know it, too.”

Yunho doesn’t come back in the morning, and you wish on Seonghwa again. Even when he didn’t appear, you knew he was looking out for you—no matter how much he swore he wasn’t a protector, for you he was.

~~~~~~~~

THE END IDK IF I CAN WRITE A PART TWO

THE RAW IDEA IS THAT, THE DICTATOR’S DAUGHTER GETS JEALOUS AND ARRESTS YOU FOR NO REASON. SEONGHWA RESCUES YOU FROM THERE, FINALLY GETTING HIS WINGS, AND HE WHISKS YOU AWAY! Unfortunately that is too much action and yours truly

#seonghwa x reader #seonghwa smut #ateez smut #ateez fic #ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader smut #ateez fanfic #seonghwa fic #seonghwa fanfic #ateez

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nanomooselet · 4 months

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Little but Fierce

Now, I might be mistaken, but judging by the number of bare pectoral muscles strewn over my dash at any given moment, I'm gonna say Wolfwood is pretty popular? And that's understandable (he's a loser <3) but it's a genuinely terrible shame that Meryl gets overlooked. Especially in Stampede. Orange have done some really amazingly cool things with Meryl.

And it makes me a little nervous to say so, but I think they only could have done them by detaching her from Milly, at least for a time. Milly's still going to show up and I'm confident from this precedent they'll treat her well, so I'm at peace with her absence for now.

Nightow is unexpectedly good in many ways. He treats sex workers as human, which is a low bar that many nevertheless fail to clear, and my only serious disappointment in Maximum was in how the girls vanished for long periods. I recall an interview where he said something to the effect of being reluctant to put them in harm's way, and while I'm disinclined to take anything Nightow says entirely at face value (I don't think he's a liar, but I do think he has a sense of humour that inclines him to kindly trolling, which I respect), that would line up, I think.

I think Orange are taking the opportunity to remedy this disappointment.

It's exciting. It's the kind of writing for female characters in genre media I've always craved. I will not be silenced on how extremely gay I am for Meryl Stryfe.

Unfortunately that means for this first entry, I'll have to talk about Knives. (Whom I also love, but not in a gay way. More an affectionate revulsion. He's fascinatingly horrible, this man.)

So. I've noticed a distressing tendency for Knives's... really almost anything that ever comes out of his mouth (seriously) to be taken as the honest, objective truth. After all, they didn't call him a villain.

And what an honest face he has!

As Knives has it:

Vash is pretty, but he's useless without his brother. He's a powerless, weak, pathetically naïve, blubberingly sentimental little baby who doesn't care about the Plants, too busy enabling humanity's abuse via performing his cringing, grasping abasement before them to notice how his brethren suffer. Knives himself is the more powerful (and much less human-like) of the twins; the strongest and most righteous activist for necessary change now that, sadly despite all good faith attempts at communication, non-violent solutions have failed. He truly has only the best and most altruistic intentions: the freedom of his people, and the happiness of his brother.

Here's the problem. This has always been the problem. Every one of the statements in the paragraph above is false. Except the one about Vash being pretty.

Once more with feeling: They are completely untrue. They are supported by literally nothing. All we have is his word that they're true and there's so much existing evidence to disprove his claims that even the thought of compiling it exhausts me.

However, I did say that Zazie is a truth-teller in this story, didn't I? So let's examine some of Zazie's conclusions.

Now, I've seen reference to the surviving human communities on No Man's Land as "colonisers", and that their treatment of the Plants even before the Fall is analogous to slavery. (My strong suspicion is that Knives is purposefully invoking those comparisons, in fact.) Those are both extremely loaded analogies, culturally and emotionally, and I just want to gently, respectfully caution those who make them against overlooking the more nuanced and purposeful analogies being made. Or maybe should I say, the actual individuals to whom they apply.

Zazie is very careful to say this: Knives told them humans can't be trusted to learn from consuming their home planet. Knives was the one who said humans will have Zazie's planet next, and that only Knives will "use" the Plants correctly - so Zazie should ally with Knives.

Here's what Knives meant by "using the Plants correctly":

I, uh, think Zazie may have made the wrong call on this one! And that Zazie thinks the same.

This is what makes the interaction with Wolfwood so funny and sad - the all-knowing, ostensibly unkillable Zazie is freaking the hell out, staggering under the weight of realising just how apocalyptically badly they have fucked up. Wolfwood, who also directly instigated this disaster but under duress, is grimly amused - he did everything he did fulfilling the contract to protect the kids, even as his conviction failed, even though he would rather have died, even after Livio... and thus he personally rendered all his own efforts and sacrifices moot.

And he's just like, "Heh, yeah. That tracks." This poor boy.

Afterwards, Zazie is confused and even a little saddened that Vash was demonised in the wake of July's destruction. Never let it be said the bug fails to learn from experience: Vash is the one everyone blames? Ah, so he was in fact spectacularly heroic and clever and it's entirely Knives's fault it turned out so badly.

Also, crashing on this specific planet wasn't exactly humanity's choice. Guess whose choice it was.

Go on, guess. Better yet, guess why.

Yeah. It was also Knives who said to Zazie that both he and Vash crashed the ships... trying to stop us. From doing exactly what Knives tried to do the very instant he got the chance.

The thing is, Knives does everything he can to look like he's right by positioning himself as the most authoritative source, but he isn't ever backed up by like... facts. Or evidence. Or reality. Or anything. Ever. He crowned himself king of the Plants. He speaks and acts for them by divine right, apparently. He didn't take a vote or anything - in his mind it's self-evident only he understands the world, and Vash, and the correct way to use the Plants. Because remember that it's not using Plants he gives a damn about, even using them to death in the Last Run, as long it's him doing it. It's being dependent upon humans; he views providing for our basic survival needs as wasteful and inherently, exclusively parasitic, even if we're helping the Plants to survive in turn. Because it's humans that he's frightened of, and he wants the yucky things gone.

The thing is, when he's not being purposefully manipulative (though Vash is the only one he manipulates in person, probably because Vash is the only one he pays enough attention to for his tactics to be effective) he's being a dense fucking idiot. At very few points do his delusions intersect with reality.

The thing is, Knives is a known, proven, and entirely unrepentant liar. It's the logical extension of the way he gaslights Vash. He is in no way a trustworthy source of information.

All that he says is part of a heroic narrative about being the specialest boy evar that he came up with to avoid taking any blame or responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Knives considers himself perfect, but he's made plenty of mistakes, which I do think he would consider mistakes - among them Rem's death, alienating Vash, cutting off his arm and rendering him disabled, and what I suspect to be the large number of Plants killed in the Fall, along with the ones consumed by the Last Run in the desperation that followed.

So he tells himself... little stories. Inside his head. It's how he reconciles it. It's how he copes.

Basically, if you want to find any truth in anything Knives ever says, look closely at what he says, and believe the opposite.

Now, onto my girl and how completely fantastic she is.

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

#trigun stampede #trigun meta #tristampparty #millions knives #meryl stryfe #i was about to say “liar pants on fire” and then i remembered #...literally tho #meta: little but fierce #terrible terrible plant man

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shelbyinubakilee · 1 month

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Ouch . Why did it hurt ? Lucifer grimaced for a split second. -”Well, just saying.” he deflected. -”You really have terrible advices, man.” Adam teased, yet letting out a dry chuckle. -”Yeah, that’s prob’ why I’m still single.” And why you would never want me.

Lucifer scolded himself in his head: What the fuck am I doing? What’s my problem?!

He held back the urge to bite his bottom lip once again. He wouldn’t ruin his makeup… Unless… …No. It wouldn’t happen anyway. -”I just have someone else on my mind, that's all.” Adam confessed, out of the blue. -”Someone other than Lute?” Lucifer asked, seemingly composed, despite Adam’s words feeling like a dagger to his heart. -”As much as I hate myself for it, yeah.” The brunette left out another dry chuckle, crushing what’s left of his cigarette on the wooden floor next to him, having little to no regard for leaving a burnt mark on it. Adam felt his chest tighten. He didn’t love Lute anymore. Actually he stopped loving her since she cheated. He stayed with her out of comfort, out of habit…and maybe out of guilt. He was the one guilt-tripping himself in the end. But maybe he wanted, for once, to detach himself from the image of the asshole, of the fuck boy who disregard anyone’s feelings. Maybe Lucifer was right, but lately he tried so hard to prove himself wrong. To prove everyone wrong. He didn’t want to believe he was like the man who put him on this earth. But in the end, maybe he had more in common with his father than his honey colored eyes. The brunette looked down, letting out a barely noticeable sigh. he slightly clenched his fist, but in the end, he didn’t even have the energy to be angry… He was just feeling… empty. He gave a side glance to the man sitting next to him, leaning against the window’s border. Maybe the only reason he despised him that much, was because he was everything he couldn’t be. Maybe everyone was right, and he was just a miserable man child, mean and toxic. Maybe…Maybe he was like him . As much as Adam tried to chase this thought, it haunted him. Maybe it was why he kept his distance with Solène. If he couldn’t be a good big brother, maybe he could try not to be a horrible one… Looking at his own palm, he wondered, if one day, he would end up like his father. …Or maybe he already was? -”You sure don’t wanna try to find someone to change your mind with?” Lucifer’s voice brought Adam back to earth. -”I don’t even know anyone here.” Adam tried to justify, as an excuse. -”Oh fucking geez Adam…” Lucifer snapped. Adam froze as he saw Lucifer suddenly move, and straddle him. Not gonna lie, the shorter man had no idea what he was doing, it was as if his body wasn’t obeying him anymore. Adam’s breath hitched, everything went so fast. One second Lucifer was sitting at the window, and now he was sitting on his laps, firmly holding on his forearms. His ruby colored eyes were piercing him, just like an animal looking at his prey. Adam gulped, feeling like Lucifer was gonna devour him, literally or not. -”I’m talking about me . Fucking me . I want you to kiss me . Now you understand, you dense idiot?” Lucifer threw at Adam on an impulse, seemingly determined.

—————- Chapter 6 by RottenYume @lulucifer-s-husband

I think this is the first human Lucifer and Adam fic that I’ve found. It flows like a movie my eyes. It’s like an emotional s’more! I highly recommend it!

#hazbin hotel #fanart #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x adam #adamsapple #guitarduck #ao3 based #ink wash #adam x lucifer #humans #comic-ish

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megabuild · 1 month

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so you like transfem etho right? how do you think she figured it out?

did pause call her a girl once and etho decided she liked it or was there more thought involved

i don't think she ever "figured it out" in the way most people would but that's mainly because i see etho as having a very weird upbringing. she was very lonely as a child and didn't really start meeting people from wider society who treated her like a human but also would inflict gender roles on her until mindcrack when she was like... mid 20s. and yeah there definitely was a bit of teasing there but i don't think it really awakened anything in her more just confused her. if you pushed him about a bit and called him a girl insultingly he'd be like ? No I'm not. Because he has lived so far detached from society he can't even conceptualise the idea of feminity being a "weakness" yet #feminist but also he was raised to play very particular roles and wear very particular masks and girl is not and never has been one of them, he is a Guy, theres no questioning that.

But then yeah of course there is because she leaves mindcrack on pretty bad terms and spends some short time alone before she gets pulled onto hermitcraft and while she's sitting alone she does eventually realise oh, people can do that, people can change. And that fucking terrifies her, so much, because she already has horrible identity issues and doesn't really fully understand it so to her it's an all or nothing 100% change of self, and that's sort of awesome in a way but also really scary because that means rejecting literally everything about herself both past and present and she goes AHHHH FUCK and puts that back in the box and then xisuma recruits her like at the end of iron man when they were setting up the avengers movie. And she goes to hermitcraft and doesn't think about any of that for a really long time despite the never ending horrors happening all the time.

In my head he sort of. Doesn't Get Over It but he comes to terms with all the weird shit that happened to him when he was younger re: 404 and the LP between HC 5 and 7 like he was away on a soul searching mission. And then HC7 has its own fresh nightmares as he comes to terms with HC5 because that was a can of worms itself but this time the difference is that he has friends around him who gets it and can help him. And this is roundabout the time she starts to think about it more because she gets quite close to grian post-mycelium resistance and grian is a trans girl who takes estrogen and everything which is like, everything etho was terrified of, and they have some very clumsy and candid conversations where grian is definitely Not the best person to talk to because she's like well you're fucking stupid. But after talking to her and maybe cleo a bit too though idk if they would have been close enough at that point and bdubs too because while he doesn't know anything about this he knows a lot about etho, she eventually realises wow this doesn't have to be a new mask or a massive upheaval this is just something i can try out on the side if i like it. And so she does! Originally just with her absolute closest friends using she/her sometimes (she ends up using he/she alternately, because she doesn't really have any problem with he/him) and while she never formally Comes Out because that's not her style it spreads until most people use it.

Etho is very much a character of certainty imo, he likes rigid ideas when it comes to himself so he knows what to live up to, so i think not making her label her gender (or sexuality except that's. A different can of worms albeit a slightly less complicated one) is a bit of a character growth thing as much as it is a personal decision. Learning he can not constantly stress over the finer details or try to live up to what others decide he should be whether that's a man or a woman or something else entirely and just accepting that she's herself, and that's her own choice, is a Big Thing for her. though i don't know if she recognises that .

#anon #asks #sorry for the ramble i think about her sooo much so hard #i have no idea if she would take e i think surgery is off the table she has too much bad experience but also isn't that bothered #she might take it for a short while and then stop.. im not sure. its a fantasy world also so .

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fate-motif · 10 months

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list of saw characters criminally underdiscussed by fans

daniel rigg: one of the few actually likable cop protagonists in the franchise even though he has a penchant for police brutality more than once! because we see the one heroic (though detached from reality) facet of police work through him: his desire to save people from harm. the fact that hoffmann’s test for him is made to try and scrub what little humanity rigg has left for him to become the ultimate cop, ie jigsaw, by making him let go of the idea that people deserve to be saved? poetic. strahm’s offer to join hoffmann could never honestly.

brit and mallick: i’m a huge fan of the fatal five trap because it’s the only trap that could have been solved with minimal bloodshed up to the end and i find the way brit was going “we won” at the end of her game like… CHILLING victim falling for the jigsaw philosophy. one of those rare examples of characters that could have actually made logical and interesting apprentices. here we have two guys capable of doing messed up things, were punished for it, got the emotional rush of “atoning” for it but their moral flaw was literally not addressed because how the hell is torture supposed to fix that! so of course they would believe in the jigsaw philosophy at the end of it all!

simone: literally the one person in the franchise to directly call out jigsaw’s fucked up philosophy to jigsaw himself and to other victims when they foolishly try to give their suffering meaning only to end up falling back on jigsaw’s trash personal responsibility philosophy. queen.

bobby dagen: can we talk about how jigsaw’s philosophy is dangerously similar to bankable self help industry bullshit about personal responsibility that throws people in vulnerable circumstances (such as addicts, poor people and abuse victims) under the bus? oh, you mean there was a character we could have used to talk about it and we’re NOT TALKING ABOUT IT??? HELLO???

matt gibson: the pinnacle of the mainline saw franchise’s subtle discussions on police brutality exemplified and i am in love with it. we found THE single cop that saw police brutality, reported it, got demoted, was expected to save a horrible woman that let countless crimes happened and still saw she had the right to be protected from being murdered, and then failed to save her and everyone. because cops can’t save anyone. policing doesn’t save anyone. the end. the grisly tragedy of it all…

brad and ryan: honestly hilarious these two dipshits were the final accomplices with lawrence considering brit and mallick were right there but i am 99% sure lawrence hooked them in with some incel bullshit talking points after his wife left him and these chucklefucks were furious to find out how dina played them. which only goes to show how deep the rot in jigsaw’s philosophy goes. so many avenues of exploration.

#saw franchise #john kramer #the jigsaw killer #amanda young #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #mark hoffman #peter strahm #i am tagging all the fandom blorbos you are all going to read this and THINK

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istanchan · 4 months

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Pit Babe Finale Thoughts

I can’t believe PitBabe is over. I’ve been watching week by week since November and it has been such a wild ride. I don’t remember enjoying a show and the fandom space of the show so much since probably Kinnporshe.

And I did not have any expectations for this show. At most I was interested because Pavel was in it. But even then I hadn’t watched anything he’d been in in a while. Also I had heard after the first episode came out that it was an omega verse style show where Pavel’s character plays the “bottom”. That definitely intrigued me.

However I still had a lot of doubts. I just assumed Babe would be the typical toxic alpha character. And I keep saying this but I’m so glad I was proven wrong. This show has kept me on the edge every single episode and the final episode broke me and put me back together again.

Before I delve into what I loved I will say I really wish there had been just one more episode. Some parts of the final felt a bit rushed. I would have especially liked to see more of the aftermath of Tony’s fall, more specifically how they handled it with the public. Also I wanted to see some PeteKenta:(( Also I would have liked to see more CharlieBabe communication scenes, because they didn’t really talk that much in the last episode.

But I’m not mad at how the finale was structured and how it played out. Actually I’m quite the opposite with PitBabes finale. It wasn’t perfect but I loved it so much.

First off Kenta stabbing Tony was so powerful but also heartbreaking at the same time.

Of course he had to be the one to finish off Tony. It’s the way also that Tony can’t believe it. He looks completely shocked. It’s the way that Kenta’s voice is soft he’s completely detached. He’s done enough.

And Way’s death.

Not just his death but the whole scene where Babe is holding him as he is dying.

The pain and desperation in Babe’s face made me want to cry. (Kudos to Pavel again) Even though Way had betrayed Babe’s trust and attempted to force himself onto Babe, in Babe’s mind at the moment he doesn’t think of all that. After all they have been friends so so many years. It’s hard to forget all of that

I loved this scene. Their dialogue especially broke me. Even till the end, when Way confesses his love, Babe tells him that we’re best friends. I love you but not the love you want.

And I really think Way redeemed himself, and this is all coming from someone who used to despise him. He gives his life up for Babe. He did something horrible okay yes but in the last few episodes he keeps his distance. He truly loves Babe, and because of the way he was raised he most likely didn’t even realize what he was doing was wrong, but after he realized how much he had hurt Babe he changed and it was clear to see.

See that’s the thing I love about the characters in Pit Babe I realized is that they have faults, no one character is perfect. Because of the trauma they suffered being a part of Tony’s orphanage they don’t know how to live a normal life. They all have their fatal flaws.

It’s why Babe is so desperate for love. And why Charlie is so self sacrificing. It’s the reason why Kenta couldn’t break free and the reason why Pete felt like he could fix those around him.

One last scene that I loved that I want to talk about is Babe and his Dad’s reunion.

I’m so glad they included this. Babe deserved the closure and he also deserved to be angry and upset. He went through so much and to know that your dad is still alive and he hadn’t even contacted you years after?? This scene in my head is a comparison for Babe and Charlie’s reunion but I feel like because of this scene I understand why Babe forgave Charlie so much easier. First of all Babe suspected Charlie was alive so it wasn’t a complete shock to him. And also Charlie’s “death” was only for a week or two maybe more. Charlie death was a sacrifice for Babe. Charlie literally spends every second of his life fighting for Babe.

But on the other hand, Babe’s dad sacrificed Babe. There’s a clear difference between the two. Yes he was doing it to protect him but he could have tried to get him back?? He could have tried to contact Babe?? He was a coward. And he acknowledges that and Babe eventually does forgive him because after all it’s his dad. But I just thought the dichotomy of the two was interesting.

Now moving on to my favorite thing, Babe and Charlie. I haven’t fervently loved a main couple in so long but these two just do it for me. They are the perfect match. Their confession did it for me.

Because of course Charlie had only loved Babe and Babe hasn’t loved anyone like Charlie before. They make me want to scream. Also in the final episode I really appreciated how supportive Charlie was. He was there and he understands Babe he doesn’t push. He just wants Babe to be happy. God I love them so much.

My brain is rotting and I feel like I have so much more to say but this post is already too long so that’s all my thoughts for now. I will miss this silly vroom vroom show so much :(((

#pit babe the series #pit babe finale #pitbabe #pitbabe final #charliebabe #babecharlie #kentapete #thai bl #bl series #way pit babe #waybabe #pavel phoom #pooh krittin #nut supanut #garfinpkk #ping obrnithi #pit babe meta

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whitedemon-ladydeath · 6 months

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Power + Control + Survival: Coriolanus Snow Meta

the way I read a lot of books is I remove a lot of my judgement towards what they do/who they are at least if the series is written well enough it allows for a suspension of disbelief

Coriolanus Snow is quite literally the Worst, but while watching his character go from being wealthy to so poor that he was slowly starving and then Watched his neighbor cannibalize someone at such a young age to then claw his way back up to power it was really interesting to watch (I haven't read the book yet so this is from the lense of just the movie so far)

I watched him routinely chose power and control over happiness. every single time. and I think it is important to recognize what one person views as survival and self preservation varies based on the person

he's horrible, he's self centered, he is the Worst. But I sat there watching him choose power over happiness every single time. He Could be happy in the districts, with Lucy and Serjanus if he allowed himself to let go of his pride and elitism, but also the districts are under occupation and heavily militarization. He's from the Capitol, he has always been above the districts and occupation

he had every opportunity to choose to be like the regular people, like Lucy Grey. But that also came with the same threats of bring subjugated and less than compared to the way his early childhood was

He cannot handle when things are outside of his control. He has an insane need for everything in his vicinity to be within his control and to operate and work the way he needs and wants it to. The innate need for control is derived from a very wealthy early childhood paired with losing everything within a blink of an eye and being Completely outside of his control

power + control equates to survival and security for Snow. Preserving his family name, regaining his wealth, etc. it's all a form of self protection for himself at the expense of everyone else

he cannot handle the cognitive dissonance that comes with knowing that perhaps everything he was taught was wrong. that his instructors were wrong. that his now father, who became idealized and martyred in his mind, were wrong. that HE was wrong

so when he learns he cannot control Lucy Grey, when he cannot have her perform the way he wants and needs, she is a threat to a very carefully constructed image of self security he has built around himself and that has been built around him for years from the authority figures in his life

I remove my judgement from his actions and Judge his character and that allows me to watch, detached in a way, to see How he's like the way he is, how he chose his own survival over a potential happiness every single time. His actions *do* make sense, especially if you are watching his choices from the perspective of someone who is so set on preserving himself and his name. the survival of it all

#coriolanus snow #president snow #abosas #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #character analysis #thg meta

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zeep-xanflorp · 7 months

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rambling about the rick-unity-wong talk bc i'm upset about it

r: look, it's clear you weren't lying when you said you could've taken over earth because your finger just took over america. i need you to help me fix that.

u: oh, it took that to make you believe me?

r: why should i believe you? you show up unannounced and hijack a state.

u: i called you! multiple times! you ghosted me.

so there are two ways i think you can read rick not believing unity. one is that he believed it was trying anything to stay in proximity to rick even though he was asserting boundaries, or two, he did actually believe it but wanted to deal with the situation on his own or just wanted it gone. either way, he didn't want to be around it.

then there's the part about rick ghosting it. like okay yes. unity tried giving rick a heads up but the fact is that it knew rick wasn't answering its calls. it Knew rick wouldn't know it was there unless it made a big deal about it being there and that's what it did. it literally showed up without permission and assimilated a whole state on rick's home planet, in rick's country. just to get his attention.

w: rick, is that true?

r: she dumped me. why would i answer her calls?

and now we get a blatant explanation for why rick was ignoring unity. i imagine it would've been clear enough anyway without this explanation but rick is still upset from being broken up with. so he decided to ghost it with no explanation, cutting it off entirely.

w: alright, i'm going to commit a cardinal sin in couples therapy here, but rick, i think you're wrong. [..] you had an outer-space lady who was worried for your life and your response was hostile enough to cause a huge problem.

u: thank you.

w: now you're asking her to both forgive you and solve it?

now, the mistake wong makes here is assuming she knows the full story. obviously she's smart and i think she gave her best analysis based on what she knows of the situation, but in her ignorance she fails to listen to rick, her patient.

the whole theme of this episode is rick asserting his boundaries. he doesn't want to see unity because last time he did it ended catastrophically for him. he's not ignoring it out of pettiness but as a defence mechanism. a coping strategy. and when it decided to follow through with its plan of coming to america anyway, destroying the boundaries rick had in place, it made him lash out.

rick also has a tendency to self sabotage when things are going well for him, whether he realises it or not. he abuses morty when they get too close. he made unity party with him instead of doing its duties. his actions push people away, keeping them at arms length.

i believe his boundaries are in place to prevent these episodes of self sabotage. so when they get ignored and discarded, he goes back into that mindset.

and wong, who would be aware of this at least vaguely, blames unity's actions on rick ignoring it which is not fair in the slightest imo.

w: unity, i think the reason rick brought me here is that he doesn't know how to indicate to you he's changed. because he's changing very slowly. but he is.

now this is something i had trouble understanding bc i am a shameful rick apologist at the best of times and couldn't remember what he actually did wrong. his crime in this instance was when he was distracting unity from its work, influencing it to drink and party all the time and avoid its responsibilities. this became too much for it, especially when it saw how rick used the same methods to detach himself from his family.

so it broke up with him, leaving him to spiral into the worst mental state we as the audience have personally seen him in in present day - his suicide attempt. unity doesn't know about that, and i'm guessing wong doesn't either, because all rick needed to say to wong was that their breakup ended horribly for him so being around it is difficult for him and maybe she would've understood more. but no that's too much vulnerability for old man sanchez.

rick has changed since then. i imagine he better understands why unity left him. i also think he knows that it wants the best for him but struggles with accepting that. that's what led to this mess of a situation.

he feels hurt from being abandoned. it feels hurt that rick couldn't understand why it left. and all of this culminated in a messy situation where unity acted drastically to get rick's attention, and rick in his stubbornness and pain refused to accept it.

and so. i think wong spoke too quickly. i think she definitely knows rick's patterns and is right to call him out but made an unfair judgement on only him because even she expects the worst from him. he is changing, but she is encouraging unity not to give him a second chance because he's not there yet. when really that decision should be up to unity.

even though it does take agency at the end. after unity releases america from its hold, we get this absolutely heartbreaking scene between it and rick.

r: i trust you now.

u: that's nice. but i don't trust you.

unity turns rick's lack of trust in it back at him, and it's telling the truth. it feels betrayed by rick's actions in this episode because it only wanted to make sure rick was alright. to it, rick seems to be punishing unity for caring about him.

anyway in conclusion. rick is mentally ill, wong was a little too harsh on him in this episode bc it's a complex situation, and unity will act drastically if it can't get rick's attention. it's unfair to blame it all on rick in this case (even though things are normally his fault) bc while he did act immaturely in response, he wasn't the only one that escalated the conflict so drastically.

this is not a refined analysis. i might fix it later but no promises.

#rick and morty meta #rick and morty #rick sanchez #rick n morty #r&m #rnm #rick c 137 #rick c137 #rick #rick and morty spoilers #rick and morty season 7 #rick and morty season 7 spoilers #unity #dr wong #air force wong

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sasperine · 1 month

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i absolutely love that dostoevsky chose to open demons with vavara and stepan. it's so so interesting to meet these flawed but ultimately deeply emotional and loving characters and then be introduce to their demonic ass sons with no moral compass. when evaluating the grander story, vavara and stepan are ultimately sort of detached from the whole fivesome debacle. for fuck's sake, they're literally not even in the same province at the end. the whole book they've sort of just got their own shit going on while nikolai and pyotr terrorize everyone.

but. but. they're important anyway, if only for the contrast they provide. their relationship mirrors pyotr and nikolais' in a way; stepan idolizes vavara in a way similar to how pyotr idolizes nikolai. but a distinction is made at the end: nikolai dies completely alone, rejected even by his own mother while pyotr sets off (also alone) to god knows where. stepan dies with vavara and some random but kind girl he met earlier that week. his death feel comparatively much happier.

i feel like there are a lot of reasons why dostoevsky might've presented it that way, a lot of ways their relationships are different, but what sticks out to me is the fact that stepan and vavara actually knew each other. like, knew knew. pyotr projected his image of an ideal onto nikolai and worshipped that; nikolai didn't care for pyotr at all beyond amusement. but reading demons, you get the sense that, for all their misunderstandings, vavara and stepan do actually understand each other.

also it's just fun to have their parents involved because they are so horrible. usually awful characters don't have parents present in the story because it's a reminder that they used to be children and it humanizes them etc but vavara and stepan are just like. there

anyway stavrogin + verkhovensky (chaotic) >> stavrogin + verkhovensky (demonic)

#demons #fyodor dostoevsky #does this make sense?? i feel like it doesn't make sense

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sukibenders · 1 year

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Some in the Bridgerton fandom will paint Kate as being in an abusive family, paint Edwina and Mary (even Lady Danbury at times) as these villainous people who make her life miserable just to make Anthony and his family the "better choice". Like, ignoring how this trope of "villainous poc family causing the poc female character to run away into arms of a white family" is so terrible it also makes no sense when in reference to these characters themselves. Let's start with the Sharmas: we have Kate who is the daughter of a man who remarried and had a child of their own. Now, from that alone people just outright use this as a way to paint Mary in a bad light, making up the most outlandish things, when Mary admits very adamantly that she always viewed Kate as her daughter and has/will always love her. Why do you think she was so outraged by Kate being willing to accept the deal given by the Sheffields?

Now, on to Edwina. Some will hang that "half-sister" line over her head but won't give the same action to Anthony, or heck, even Kate (though she doesn't deserve hate like Anthony more so criticism for some parts). Now the line was wrong, for sure, but that doesn't mean Edwina wasn't in her right. Here we have a young girl who lost her father, is aware of her family's social and economic status, and is informed from the beginning that her finding a suitable match will either tip or support the balance of her family's lives. Edwina is literally entered into the show searching for a husband to help support her family, that's first, romance came second. So enter Anthony who, infront of her, is so charming and kind and even though him and her sister are fighting at times he still seeks her out. He's wealthy and promises to provide for her family, something that she wants. Only to find out that none of it was real, or at least, real towards her and that she was hurt in the process (by this I refer to the Sheffields ordeal and Anthony's whole attitude and his lack of respect for her). Like that's messed up and anyone would be upset over it, forgive a woman (more so a young woman in Edwina's case) expressing their feelings. Some of you want her to be Kate's cheerleader 24/7, and it shows. And Edwina was always ready to comfort Kate, from her (Kate) being detached from the world (during her wedding) to her supporting her (Kate) and Anthony being together, so let's not go on and say the Bridgertons would be better.

Now, on to the main family themselves, what we see of the Bridgertons in s2 isn't even that positive when you really think about it. From the beginning, when Anthony is looking for a wife with the most horrible standards, Violet, who notes that her son isn't looking for marriage for the right reasons and instead of trying to talk to him about it, instantly goes and states she's disappointed by his outlook and fears he won't be happy, confused as to why he's this way. BECAUSE YOU PLACED THAT WEIGHT ON HIM. Like I understand losing her husband was terrible, it was, but to then put all that pressure and weight on to your eldest and then become surprised when it starts affecting him in ways you don't like, while taking hardly any time to actually talk about his feelings, is laughable (couldn't think of a better word). Like whenever Anthony is around with valid points, she looks exasperated at times. And the other Bridgertons aren't better from Daphne literally pitying him (even tho she knew about his feelings for Kate and could have eased the situation instead of letting it go on) to Bennedict laughing at him at every turn to the siblings joking about the situation he put them in (which they themselves could have prevented but didn't & aren't affected as severely by like the Sharmas), it makes no sense how people would view them as better than the Sharmas.

Now on to Kate and how this view affects her. One big reason being is the fact that it ignores her insecurities, only paints them in a different light. Kate didn't view herself as Mary's daughter because her father had been with someone before he met Mary, long after she was born. She didn't think Mary would love her as a daughter and is surprised when she finds out that she actually does. Kate accepts the Sheffields deal because it will help Edwina, because she (Kate) understands their social and economic status and is willing to leave the only family she has just for them to be secure and happy. That's the reason she has turmoil, not because her family hates her and is abusing her! Like where did that thought even come from? Kate has issues of not expressing her feelings, bottling them up and trying to handle things herself until it blows over, that's it. And when she does express them, do you know who actively seeks to reassure her? Her mother and sister. They don't make jokes or make the environment able to express these emotions nonexistent (like the Bridgertons with Anthony), they try to help her because they love her.

Honestly, the Sharmas deserve so much better because if it isn't the show doing them dirty than it's the fandom.

[Quick edit because people were taking some things out of context, by sneaking behind her (Edwina) back, I was referring to the whole Sheffield incident because, when it's revealed, it literally put her, and her sister and mother, in an awkward position and makes her and her family look like bad people, especially in front of the Bridgertons. I reworded my original post and added context, and admit I could have worded it better, but for those who saw it as me immediately trashing Kate's character, I will state here that was nowhere near the intent and never was, sorry for the slip up]

#kate sharma #edwina sharma #mary sharma #anthony bridgerton #the sharmas #the bridgertons #dni if you can't have a calm conversation here

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walrus150915 · 9 months

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I AM DEEPLY SORRY BUT

I thought about Goldenheart fankids for a while so I've decided to make my own!

Now, it's important to acknowledge that I honestly believe that they wouldn't have kids post-movie. That makes sense thematically and it's kind of poetic if you think about it (a gay man being the end of his bloodline which started all this copaganda n stuff) but I😭😭 I couldn't stop thinking about this!!

I present to you:

THEIR KIDDO YUPIEEEEE

Some fun facts abt them:

- Aquila is a gender neutral name which means "eagle". I thought it'd be funny to keep the tradition of their weird medieval names. Eagle Braveman, a child of Godsfood Goodatsex and Staircase Braveman, gotta love that💅

- also yea. I gave them Bal's surname bc there's no way in the world Ambrosius would want to give them his surname. His bloodline ends with him in an good old gay tradition😎😎

- I think they'd be a happy accident tbh (if we're talking about seahorse dad situation shfjj)

- Nimona didn't expect to love them as much as she did but now they're literally her favorite person😭 siblings are REAL (although I think Nimona is like- sibling-uncle-aunt-family friend figure sorta kinda)

- About their personality? Well, they're reserved, not much of a talker, kinda socially awkward and overthinks a lot (just like their papas)

- They hate sports of all kinds like they CAN'T stand it. Also they don't know those knight traditions n stuff and have never held a sword in their life- I think that's a good "f u" to the system which expected children to become weapons bc Ballister, Ambrosius and especially Nimona would never let this child repeat all the stuff they all came through

- I don't think they even talked about their knightly upbringing to Aquila, and when Aquila asked about it they tried to avoid answering so bad

- About parenting btw- Ambrosius and Ballister both beat the "emotionally detached Asian father" allegations. These two are WAY too attached I'd say😭 they can be overprotective (cough cough Ballister) or overbearing (I see ya Ambrosius) sometimes (although Ambrosius is overprotective as well, if not more than Bal)

- Ambrosius tries his best to not repeat his parents' mistakes and let Aquila live a happy, relaxed childhood, but he slips from time to time. "Why did I have to work so hard to achieve even a little bit of acknowledgement from my parents and now this kid expects me to praise them even for the smallest of things" kind of deal. He slowly learns to relearn this way of thinking but- yeah, bro still has those good ol' Asian dad quirks

- I think Ballister had loving parents yet they couldn't provide for him or care for him properly because of poverty and social injustice. So now he makes sure Aquila has everything they need and are loved enough. It's really hard not to be overprotective of your child when you and your husband had an upbringing like theirs😭😭

- Aquila is kind of embarrassed by them because I think they both would be the type of dad who drives them to high school and makes them say "I love you too, dad" in front of their peers (like that into the spiderverse scene)

- With that said, they three all love each other despite all the hardships and stuff bc they're a FAMILYYYYY

- Nimona would be THE best person in the world for Aquila, she's their role model of sorts, I even think she'd be what helped them to realize they're enby in the first place

- Nimona would always be there for Aquila and would always be on their side even when they're in a fight with their dads

- They're the best buddies ever - Ballister expected Nimona to be jealous ("older kids of the fam" deal) but she wasn't in the slightest!

- Imagine Ballister and Ambrosius trying to make Aquila say "abba" or "appa", but the first thing they mumble is "Nim!" oh Nimona would DIE FROM LAUGHTERRR😭😭

Some general hcs:

- Ambrosius would read bedtime stories to Aquila when they were a kid and would miss this horribly as they grew up

- Ballister would make them clockwork toys

- Aquila loves sewing and customizing things

- Idk their sexuality honestly but I know that they love girls💅

- Ambrosius would distance himself from his family so much that Aquila barely knows them

- I think Aquila is aware of the whole Gloreth situation but doesn't care that much for her - after all, they know that it was some random kid 1000+ years ago whom everyone took as a hero when she wasn't

Some sketches of them shshwjne!!

Please don't ask me why Ballister looks like my grandpa😭

(Speaking of Ballister- I think at some point of Aquila's toddlerhood him and Ambrosius laid in their bed and Ambrosius was like: "Babe, what do you think of getting a second kid?"

Then Aquila immediately started crying in another room and Ambrosius signed heavily, standing up from the bed: "Yknow what? Forget what I said")

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #nimona fanart #fankid #also i know for the fact that with a 1000yo shapeshifter child and a toddler these two would have ZERO privacy #ambrosius would be so pissed off😭😭#let him kiss his husband #maybe more than kiss JQJDJAJAJAJSN #but yea #making this post is what healed my inner child #they arent perfect but they try... thats what matters #god bless #thank you for reading this i hope you enjoy whatever i'm talking about #aquila boldheart

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