#depressed shizuo

[subarashiihibi]

whats your #1 most strongly held izaya opinion? (your metaphorical hill to die on so to speak) and also whats your #1 favorite thing about izaya

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank u for the ask. let me see.....

i think it's that he is so fucking interesting. and i think there is a lot of mental illness hiding behind his weird freakish (affectionate) smile. for starters he absolutely has bpd and cptsd. i think having to take care of his sisters and not having his parents around growing up took a toll on him. yes shinra was the trigger for him to go crazy mode but izaya didn't exactly have a normal childhood before that either i feel.

the way i imagine it is he most likely had to grow up faster than what he would have wanted to and for anyone i think that would be really detrimental to their development. we really don't get any insight into how he feels about his childhood or his parents so i'm just going off of what we do know and my own brain it just makes sense to me...!

ughru...........i rly want narita to explore izaya's character throughout the years. not just his childhood either but i am so interested in what he was like during college too. i am just very interested in him really haha. (^□^)

but anyways i think that him seeing himself as a god or some other kind of omnipotent deity is just a way to shut off his human emotions and whatever else he deems unnecessary. because what good do they do him...?

(he's actually quite similar to scaramouche genshin impact hehe... unfortunately scara can actually cook so i have to dock a point there but whatever.)

(my writing is not as eloquent atm as everyone else i see on tumblr who analyze izaya like this i'm sorry but i hope you understand i think really hard about him as a person and how his brain works.)

now. my number one favorite thing about izaya.

the answer is simple: he is sickeningly cute.🤬🤬🤬🤬

he's getting people to join a gang and going around planting the seeds for disasters all throughout Ikebukuro and all this crazy shit and WHAT is he wearing? bunny(???) slippers. he's sulking over eating hotpot alone. he pretends to be a girl on the internet. i'd be a fool to not want to wife him immediately. he makes me feel like this.

also when he uses kaomojis it makes me wanna run around in circles he drives me CRAZY. 24 yr old man still typing cutesy like that... how could i not fall for him.

the thing about izaya is the whole town of ikebukuro thinks he's this really dark and brooding evil dude but that's because he wants them to! the truth is he is just some guy who's just trying to catch the hanamaru kindergarten reruns on tv. ughhhhhhhhhhh i love him so bad.

this is just me making fun of him but 3 million yen wheelchair?💀 i need to know the full list of "gimmicks" it includes cuz i just feel like no matter what it's not enough to warrant that price tag.

but again thank u for your ask. i rambled a bit here and there but i hope you enjoyed my answer. i had a lot of fun typing it ^_^

#the beginning of this reply was so sad and depressing and then it ends with my wife! he's weird and i love him #ive been looping his chara songs so much these past few days hell IM worried for myself. #speaking of. kenji sawada please put your music on us spotify. #actually let me elaborate on the izaya cant cook hc i have. #i like to exaggerate it a ton actually lol. #like that meme abt the 'who tf is burning down my house' 'making breakfast for my bf🥰' that's shizuo and izaya #shizuo comes home after work to izaya in his apartment wearing an apron like #'ah shizuchan! welcome home^_^ i cooked dinner 4 u<3' #and then proceeds to serve shizuo the most inedible dish he's ever seen #i just think izaya being pathetic and human is fun hehe. #alright! that is enough of me speaking. sorry :3

[quiet-heroes]

The urge to give my muses college verses to comfort myself for beginning my Master’s program this week 

Anyways here’s what I think they’d major in if I ever get to make these verses;

Shizuo: Criminology Delic: Music Shitsuo: History Tsugaru: Literature or Art Tsuki: Sociology or Psychology

#me wracking my brain thinking of shizuo's when canonically he wants to become a detective #wanted to become** #idk i feel like he'd get depressed by such a major but alas #tsuki studying psychology cause he loves to help people <333333333 #also excuse me for my inactivity it will continue :''')) #hachitalks

[themosthatedbeingmoving]

Lucifer’s Human verse under cut!!

Human Luci verse :

Human name: Luce Morningstar

Age: 29/32

Gender: Male presenting ( might still make him intersex bi-gender )

Sexuality: bisexual loves both equally

FC: Shizuo ( from durarara)

Lucifer was either given a second chance or punished by creation/god by being taken from hell and being turned into a mortal human —

-He doesn’t remember being king of hell, but he has weird dreams sometimes about a place full of red after falling from a place full of white.

-Doesn’t know he’s a king with incredible power; he’s 29/32 but everyone thanks he’s 18/21 cause he’s short and looks young . ( chilchuck inspired this lol)

— he works as a waiter part time while writing music /preforms in a few small bands here and there, still doesn’t have a steady “adult job” at his age .

— he’s very passionate about music he’s also a savant when it comes to instruments and can sing

— still has depression and anxiety that prevents him from going full musician with this .

— is terrified of being a failure

— doesn’t remember his childhood much just that he knew his family didn’t like him much .

— writes music sometimes for other artists to help pay rent .

— lives in a small basement apartment he rents from a nicer older lady ( may or may not be Rosie ;3 )

— loves kids

— terrible at dating

— gifted kid burn out for sure .

— loves spicy food; and apples.

—- is always followed by crows/ravens /black cats

—- sometimes weird unexpected things happen to him he can’t explain it.

— may or may not still have his powers who knows.

— loves to daydream .

— wants to create a live show that will be remembered forever

—- switches music genres that he’s into like almost every week.

— wardrobe is a mix of elder emo and whatever if comfortable /a white and red trench coat he loves to death .

—very much ADD and gremlin still

— still has red eyes, and sharper then normal canines .

#Human verse #•star of the morning |lucifer morningstar #:3 #very excited for this verse ! #ok to reply

[animeyanderelover]

OMG hiii ! How are you enjoying in your holidays? I hope you're doing well! As for me, this is my first time being so early, so I would like to request the Heiwajima brothers sharing a darling. Since they're close, I think it'll work out well? (I'm also looking forward to how yandere Kasuka would be)

I find it funny and depressing at the same time how I received this request in the summer holidays 2022 and finally write it in the spring holidays 2023.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, protective behavior, stalking, some violence

Sharing a darling

🚬▪️Both of them have grown somewhat distant after Izaya caused Shizuo to lose his job despite him promising Kasuka that he would keep working. Then there's also quite obviously Kasuka's position in the showbiz and his often very busy schedule yet both of them retain a good relationship with each other where both of them care for each other. Both of them are two polar opposites too with Shizuo possessing a incredibly short temper and Kasuka making up for it by being the level-headed and almost apathetic counterpart. The younger brother feels some sort of responsibility when it comes to his brother. It can be left open how their darling got mixed in between all of that. They could be someone both have known since childhood, could be a citizen in Ikebukuro or even be someone also working in the showbiz. The easiest way for both of them to fall for someone though would probably be with someone they've known since childhood, before both of them grew distant and Kasuka became famous which would make them the connection that kept them from growing so distant from each other back then.

🚬▪️Kasuka shows his emotions rarely so his obsession flies under the radar but Shizuo is a different story. He's extremely protective and low-key possessive since he's used to being lonely because everyone fears him for his violent outbursts. He might try to avoid you at first since he's terrified of hurting you too, even if inadvertently but deep down he longs for you and your love. I mean, he certainly tries to hide his attraction but his raging jealousy and outbursts as soon as someone makes you cry make his feelings and intentions clear. You caught him multiple times trailing behind you since stealth isn't his strength, especially not if he catches someone flirting with you or making you uncomfortable. His heart is transparent, especially for his younger brother who has known him the longest. Kasuka knows what his brother feels and also knows that his brother is quite obsessed with you. Most people assume that Shizuo likes you anyways but differently from most, Kasuka notices that this goes deeper and is the reason why Shizuo acts even more irritated than normally. His older brother is confused and afraid.

🚬▪️Shizuo's even worse temper because of his inability to regulate his overpouring emotions thanks to you has to stop though. His brother only hurts himself and you too by constantly trying to push you away because of his fear to hurt you, which he already does by rejecting you. So the younger brother takes it upon himself to have this conversation with his brother at one point since things just can't continue like this. He's very straightforward with Shizuo too, tells him that he hurts your feelings by ignoring and avoiding you although he does understand why his older brother is behaving that way. Kasuka knows already that both of them harbor the same sort of feelings for you, Shizuo doesn't know until Kasuka admits his own feelings which shocks him. There's a sense of shame since he's always so easy to read whilst Kasuka expresses rarely openly his emotions and for that is harder to understand. There's a short awkward tension between those two which mainly comes from Shizuo.

🚬▪️Kasuka after all has known since a while, had time to accept that fact whilst everything is new to Shizuo. Obviously he doesn't hate his brother and Kasuka has most likely already suggested the option of sharing. Largely because he cares for Shizuo but also because he can imagine very well what would happen if Shizuo wouldn't be able to see you and love you, tying into Kasuka's feeling that he has to take responsibility for his older brother's temper and outbursts which would surely be even worse due to his obsession. From Shizuo's point of view, Kasuka's option makes the most sense since he also knows that your absence is poison for his temper. It just feels a little bit weird at first, thinking about having a polyamorous relationship since he never considered something like that before. Kasuka most likely imagines that Shizuo needs a bit of time to get used to that thought and gives him that time. In the end both agree to share since they're close to each other.

🚬▪️Shizuo has no idea to even bring that idea up to you though and so Kasuka takes charge of most of the talking when they bring it up to you, additionally forces his brother to apologize for hurting your feelings by avoiding you. If you request time to consider their suggestion, they both will give you time. Shizuo is a bit impatient and itchy though, worried what will happen if you reject that idea and will also start to think weirdly about both of them for bringing such an idea even up. Kasuka just tells him to wait for now. They will start worrying about that if it really happens. You relieve both of them by eventually agreeing though. The planning and troubles are far from over though as there arises a small discussion with whom you should stay. Kasuka has his schedules, his shootings and all his meetings to attend to due to his position as a star which means that him and Shizuo can't have you by their side at the same time. Staying with Shizuo is in the end the better decision as Kasuka is worried for you.

🚬▪️He has paparazzi and obsessive fans so he doesn't know how safe your personal space and identity would be if you were to come with him. Both of the brothers also agree that they'd like to keep the polyamourous relationship a secret although Kasuka is realistic enough to know that at one point someone will eventually find out. So he leaves you in Shizuo's hands, knows that he's capable of protecting you. It's maybe not what he really desires but it's the safer option, especially if he knows that you'd be uncomfortable to be exposed to flashing lights and hate mails from upset admirers of his. So you end up staying with Shizuo who is mildly nervous of the aspect of loving and providing for you. He has a job as a bodyguard for a debt collectors agency but doesn't earn the most money. At least not enough money to treat and spoil you like he might want to do. Kasuka helps him by sending him money since he also wants to do something for their darling, even if he's busy with his shootings.

🚬▪️The poor man is so awkward at the beginning of the relationship though as the tenderness and affection you give him almost overwhelms him. He's, very frankly spoken, just not used to the affection of someone else and doesn't seem to know what he's supposed to do. The only thing he really knows to do well is using his strength to beat others up. So you might have a bit of a rough start with him as he still tends to push you away here and there and might say something that ends up hurting your feelings a bit. He feels so guilty every time he notices how he hurts your feelings though which only continues to smash down his self-esteem. You endure it though, something that genuinely touches him and only hits him with more guilt whenever you give him space and time. Shizuo feels the desperate need to repay you for your kindness and affection somehow, something that doesn't only include protecting you by essentially scaring everyone away with his strength.

🚬▪️Physical affection is something he secretly dreads due to his strength. He's just so scared that he might hurt you and bruise you which is why he is exceptionally gentle whenever he hugs you or holds your hands, something that continues to fluster him greatly every time it happens. He secretly loves it though when his s/o is affectionate with him. He's like a dry sponge soaking everything up that his s/o does for him. Compliments, hugs, kisses, presents, all things he never received much during childhood and adulthood. He's still greatly insecure about himself though and whenever he loses his temper or accidentally says or does something that hurts you, he succumbs to insecurities. He envies Kasuka a lot for his controlled demeanor, sometimes even fears that you'll end up turning completely to Kasuka. He'd completely understand why you'd do that but that doesn't make the thought hurt any less.

🚬▪️You see how genuinely hard Shizuo is trying though, even with his explosive temper and jealousy. He even attempts to become a better cook to prepare meals for you when he invites you over, does his best to buy you little things in hopes of making you happy. With Kasuka on the other hand you often chat and he calls you a few times a week to hear how you're doing and how Shizuo is doing. At times you and Shizuo worry that he feels secretly jealous and left out since he's such a busy man but if he is, he never lets anyone notice it. He just provides Shizuo and you with some of the money he's earned and you tend to get presents sent to you by him. Some of them are too expensive for your taste and if you tell him that you'd feel too guilty receiving presents in a certain price range, Kasuka is considerate enough gift you what you like within an acceptable price to pay. At times he tends to feel a bit annoyed and guilty for having so little time to spend with his s/o so presents tend to be a way of apologizing for him.

🚬▪️When Kasuka has free time on his hands and knows about it beforehand, he plans with Shizuo and you to meet and to be sneaky enough to not let any of his fans and paparazzi find him. In almost all of the cases, Shizuo leaves you alone with him unless Kasuka specifically asks him to tag along. You spend so much time with him after all, his younger brother deserves some time with you alone since he has so little with you. That seems to be a silent agreement between the two brothers and Kasuka appreciates it since the lack of time he can spend with you tends to get to him, he just hides it better. You two have to stay hidden though to minimize the risk of being caught together which tends to limit the things you can do together. Whilst that might upset you a bit, Kasuka is just grateful to be able to have you to himself for a while at all. He has a wide range of hobbies though and if you tell him that you'd like to try one of them out with him, he'll try to arrange things so that you two can do it.

🚬▪️Considering that a few of his hobbies include flower arrangement and painting, you tend to get a lot of bouquets and paintings he did himself to make it more personal. The difference between the two brothers is almost painfully obvious. You can always read Shizuo and always have to try to tame his temper, Kasuka on the other hand is silent and you can't decipher him as easily as you can his older brother. Kasuka doesn't speak too much, mainly because he just likes listening to you talking and watching you. He's very straightforward though so if he notices that something is on your mind, he'll ask you about it rather quickly. He's more collected, a better observer which can make him more risky in the way that he's better to read your facial expression and your body language. Due to the lack of emotions he expresses, it makes him in return harder to read which could make for a rather effective manipulater if he'd ever do so. Luckily both brothers lie seldom to you.

🚬▪️Shizuo is the one mainly protecting you and keeping you safe with his strength which is already enough to make even the less sane person think thrice about hurting you. If Kasuka gets to know about a problem that Shizuo can't solve with sheer imtimidation and his violent temper alone, he will do something too though. He might not be as physically strong as his older brother but he has other ways, mainly a lot of connections and the ability to spread rumors. Social platforms can be a scary thing after all. They truly are like night and day if both of them are able to spend together time with you. Kasuka is comfortable with your affection and initiates it himself, Shizuo still tends to still get shy and embarrassed about it which results in slight envy but it's nothing serious. Kasuka could be considered as the brain of the relationship since he, due to his composure, isn't swayed as easily by his emotions. He doesn't claim the control in the relationship though, Shizuo often just thinks of him as more suited to make plans although if he has an objection, Kasuka listens to him.

#yandere durarara!! #yandere durarara #yandere drr #yandere shizuo #yandere heiwajima shizuo #yandere kasuka #yandere heiwajima kasuka

[azumasoroshi]

dude im being 100% fr shizaya fanfic writers were and are fucking insane

because my school banned ao3 (my fault, but that's not important), i saved a bunch of super long shizaya fics (which are PLENTIFUL for some reason, maybe because tastewithouttalent wrote so goddamn many) and have them open to entire work which allows it to stay open on my school devices without being “registered” per say

and they have been like. fucking destroying me

To Hell and Back by corteae started with “izaya and shizuo travel around the world and wacky shenanigans happen” and i was messaging my discord server like “SHIZAYA WORLD TOUR WOOOOOOO” and i was expecting wacky shenanigans and then suddenly everything went off the fucking rails in the way i LEAST expected it to happen

like maybe i wouldn’t have been so blindsided if i hadn’t skimmed through the tags so quickly but like it’s more fun that way. i hate when i actually see a ‘major character death’ tag warning because i want to be surprised

ANYWAY that was genuinely like. one of my favorite fanfiction reading experiences to date. it was like reading a whole novel with how much original stuff was in there but it was so focused on izaya and shizuo and characterized them so unexpectedly well that the original stuff never really felt out of place or forced even though it was so wild

and even though it got super dark at times it maintained this really hopeful outlook on everything and sometimes it was downright cheesy but it just WORKS for that fic and i love it because of that

and some of the challenges it made the characters go through just worked SO well for their canon characters especially post-ketsu and i gasped audibly at some of them and Ahrhghgghhfdgfd

and then the past few days i was reading this zombie apocalypse fanfiction (april 23rd by izayas) and it was like. the most depressing fanfiction reading experiences to date. i literally had a panic attack in school after i read this for a bit too long a session like holy shit it just felt so real and so heavy and hopeless

the writing was phenomenal and well-planned/foreshadowed and probably has the best shizuo AND izaya characterization that i’ve ever seen?? like i could believe things would actually happen in this way in canon. probably because their hate for each other is so intrinsic and they’re never really able to let go of that?? which is not what i expected because yes they bond and yes they care for each other but it was always in a way so that you could feel the wall between them, and even when they connect it’s only briefly, never enough to tear them away from their hatred fully

it almost feels shakespearean in how tragic it is?? everything is so character driven and all their downward spiraling is so poetic and sickening but utterly gorgeous to read. like at so many points you’re like GOD if only they had done this one small thing different, if only if only if only and it’s just htrgrhgfhgd drives me insane which is probably what izayas-san was going for lmao. esoecially at the end you can really feel the shakespeare tragedy kicking in

it’s notable that although it’s tagged shizaya and very much centers around their relationship, it’s much more an exploration of the will of human nature and their individual struggles with coping and growing from their experiences, and there’s like. no typical romance whatsoever

it’s about their sick, twisted, passionate love and whether it’s enough to save either of them or if it’ll kill both of them and just. god. i am empty after that fic i didnt cry but it feels like all the tears have been drained from my body i dont even know how to feel or how to function. i had to take a break from writing this review and it’s been a whole weekend and there’s still this weight on my chest that i cant get rid of :sob: for my sanity’s sake i sincerely doubt i could ever read it again but i honestly treasure that experience

ANYWAY READ SHIZAYA FANFICTION IT’S BUIILT DIFFERENT

#this fanfics literally changed my brain chemistry dude im so infatuated with both #they’re like at complete opposite ends of the fanfiction spectrum but they’re both so amazing #funny how they’re both kinda roadtrip-like in nature #although for very different reasons #izayas or corteae if you ever read this know that i love you #you’re both so creative and so clever and such amazing writers that i really look up to #shizaya #shizuo heiwajima #izaya orihara #durarara

[minaramen]

Thanks for the 7th Anniversary - Part 2: Cosplay stamp rally

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

*Cut to a hallway*

Staff: Hello

Minami: Good morning

Torao: ……

Minami: What happened, Midou san? Is that a memo?

Torao: The model we performed with gave me her contact details

Minami: Aah, I see. Good for you

Torao:.......

Minami: Why do you look so depressed? I would have expected you to say something like “mpf, well, it can't be helped"

Torao: I used to think it was hard to be a popular man, but lately I’ve started having some doubts about that

Minami: For example?

Torao: I mean, on the contrary, it makes me look like a super easy man

Minami: That it does

Torao: If you want to get close to somebody you should just face them and say you want to exchange contacts. Direct and honest

Torao: At least, that’s the kind of people who approach Touma. Although he seems to think they give him their contacts for business purposes

Minami: Inumaru san’s lack of knowledge about people from the entertainment ended up being a boon

Torao: Yeah

Minami: And still, he was a celebrity among other celebrities competing in Black or White. He joined the contest twice with different groups

Torao: How about you, Minami? Have you ever received the contact details of somebody you barely knew?

Minami: It happened several times before I traveled abroad. Now, not anymore

Torao: As I thought. The difficulty level required to reach you is too high, now. I would immediately give up

Minami: I suppose there’s something good in becoming an adult

Momo: Ah, Minami and Torao! Hello!

Yuki: Good morning

Minami: Ah, Re-vale san. Good morning

Torao: Good morning

Momo: What's with the long faces? Are you reconsidering your talk or what?

Minami: We were just checking our difficulty levels

Minami: Do you normally receive contact details from strangers, Momo san?

Momo: Contact details? Not really? I only accept things like that after a good talk with the person!

Minami: How about you, Yuki san?

Yuki: Pretty often, actually

Torao: Aah….

Yuki: Mh? Why did you say “aah”?

Torao: It was an “aah” to say “as expected”

Yuki: And what do you mean by “as expected”?

Momo: Darling!! You’re back-stabbing Momo chan without him even knowing! I’m jealous!

Yuki: Fufu. It’s hard to be a popular man

Torao: Aah…

Yuki: Could you please stop saying “aah”...

*Pin pin*

Yuki: Oh, that’s strange. Chiba Shizuo san is messaging me

Momo: Chiba Shizuo san?

Yuki: Yes. “It’s pretty sudden, but shall we go cruising together?”

Yuki: I don’t see why…. What’s going on, I wonder?

*Pin pin*

Minami: Ah….Shiba Shizuo san is messaging me as well.

Torao: What did he say?

Minami: “It’s pretty sudden, but shall we go play golf abroad together?”

Yuki: Do you often do things together?

Minami: No, it’s my first time being asked

Momo: Maybe you both got spammed?

Minami: The content is a little different

Torao: He must feel lonely. Showing such willingness to use money to dispel his gloom

Momo: That’s what rich people do! I understand rich people's feelings pretty well!

Yuki: Chiba Shizuo san is not somebody who would blow his money like this. Dispelling his gloom…

Yuki: Doesn't sound right

Minami: Maybe he argued with Nikaido san?

Yuki: Most likely

Yuki: Since it was announced that Yamato kun will act in Mikatsuki Ookami, there’s been a weird tension in the air

Minami: Maybe, due to the fact he had an argument with Nikaido san, he’s trying to comfort his broken heart by spending time with us, who are the same age as his son

Yuki: Ah, that must be it. That’s pretty annoying, I’ll just forward the message to Yamato kun

Momo: Wait, wait! You’re going to make things even more complicated, if you do that! We’re not even sure whether they had a fight!

Yuki: Let’s ask, then. “Did you fight with Yamato kun?

*Pin pin*

Yuki: He did

Torao: How docile, the internationally famous Chiba san…

Momo: Okay, well, what if we ask Chiba san to come to the Nanahoshi school festival? 

Yuki: Ah, yeah. Idolish7 will be there as well, since they’re going to perform

Minami: Are you going to the Nanahoshi school festival?

Momo: Yes! Since it’s a school connected to the entertainment world, it’s totally fine for famous people to go!

Momo: I think it should be fine if Chiba san comes as well. Then, we could mediate for him with Yamato

Yuki: You’re so kind, Momo. You make it difficult to imagine there was a time when you were angry with Chiba Shizuo san

Momo: I’m not doing it for him, I’m worried about Yamato! His careless nature reminds me of mine, I can’t let him down

Yuki: Ah

Minami: We’re planning to go to the Nanahoshi school festival as well

Torao: Yes, since Haruka attends the school

Momo: Ah, I see! He’s in the high school trio together with Iori and Tamaki! How cute!

Minami: However, Isumi san doesn't want us to go

Yuki: Why?

Torao: Apparently, he feel embarrassed because of some kind of class project

Momo: Is it something involving Iori and Tamaki as well?

Yuki: Maybe they’re dressing up as women?

Minami: There’s no shame in dressing up as women, nowadays

Torao: They may feel embarrassed, and then end up being unexpectedly good looking

Momo: Must be so cute! I can’t wait!

*Cut to Kujo’s house*

Haruka: Excuse me

Touma: Excuse me

Aya: Welcome! Haru chan, master!

Touma: Master, what…? I’m not a master, I’m really really really really average

Aya: Haru chan told me that you’re super good at making okonomiyaki!

Haruka: You told me you wanted to learn how to make them

Touma: I can teach you, but keep in mind that my okonomiyaki is really really really really normal 

Touma: Nothing more than “aah, so that’s the way I can make okonomiyaki at home”

Aya: It’s okay! I’ll put all of myself in learning that, so please teach me!

Haruka: Apparently, Kujo asked for some okonomiyaki with udon. I remember you prepared us something like that before, Touma

Touma: I always put chinese noodles in there. Your grandma doesn’t, right, Haru?

Aya: I want to learn how to make ramen and put an okonomiyaki on it, and then a fried egg on the okonomiyaki!

Haruka: How many things do you want to put on the plate? Did Kujo really ask for something like that?

Aya: He really did! He also said it was cute!

Haruka: Cute?

Aya: After a business trip to Hiroshima, he also bought an okonomiyaki keyholder! Look!

Haruka: Ah, it’s true…he should go for something cuter when he buys souveirs for a girl…

Aya: I do think it’s cute!

Haruka: Really?

Touma: Is a fried egg cute, by the way? Well, let’s try to do that…

Aya: Wah!! Thank you so so much!! I’ve already made the sauce myself, so we don’t need to…

Haruka: Wait wait wait…! I thought the okonomiyaki sauce was a crucial thing…!

Aya: I want to show some originality!

Haruka: We need to make plain flavor first! By the way, is he home?

Aya: He is! Want me to call him?

Haruka: Ah, no…!

Aya: Tenn nii chan!

*Door opens*

Tenn: Hello

Haruka: Ah… hello…

Touma: Hello! Our Haru really cares about your little sister

Tenn: Thank you, I’m glad you get along with Aya

Touma: You're having okonomiyaki, right?

Tenn: I’ll try some. Are you good at making it?

Touma: I’m not. I’ve made it sometimes but it’s just average. I’d dare to say the flavor is not terrible, tough

Tenn: I look forward to it. Also… you take care of Riku as well

Touma: It’s not biggie. He’s a good guy, I can’t leave him

Tenn: He told me you’re a good person, Inumaru Touma. Thank you

Touma: Ahah! Oh, stop! I don’t need to be thanked for…

Haruka: Wait!

Touma: What happened, Haru?

Haruka: I didn’t know you and Kujo were on such good terms!

Touma: Well, he’s Riku’s brother…

Tenn: He often takes care of Riku…

Haruka: But you're more connected with me! And still, you’re always super cold with me and best buddies with Touma?!

Tenn: I don't have the impression I’m being cold with you

Touma: Y’know, Haru always puts you on a pedestal

Haruka: Whaat?! That’s…definitely not true…

Tenn: I know it's not true. I understand why you don’t like me. It’s because I make you think about what Kujo san did to you

Haruka:.....

Tenn: Make yourselves at home, okay? Aya, call me if you need anything

Aya: Thank you, Tenn nii chan!

Haruka: Still…it’s not that I don’t like him…

Touma: Haru?

Haruka: No, it doesn't matter. Can I help you with something, Acchan?

Aya: Can you bring me the electric grill?

Haruka: Yes

Touma: I’ll cut the cabbage. May I wash my hands, first…?

Aya: Ah, the hand soap is here! By the way, Haru chan, will you join the school festival?

Haruka: You know about it, Acchan?!

Aya: Tamaki nii chan asked Tsunashi san to go. I was invited as well

Haruka: So, are you going to come?! Don’t come!!

Aya: Why?!

Touma: He’s been repeating the same thing for a while. “Don’t come to the school festival!”

Haruka: It’s awkward. I thought we had a different concept, as a group!

Touma: I think we've gotten more comfortable with these kinds of things, lately. Also, I promised your grandma to take pictures

Haruka: Pictures?! What the heck…

Aya: Haru chan, what are you going to do at the school festival?

Haruka:....cosplay stamp rally

Aya: Cosplay stamp rally?

Haruka: You need to find guys in cosplay and get a stamp from them. If you get ten, you receive a souvenir

Touma: Sounds interesting. What cosplay are you going to do?

Haruka: It’s a secret. I will never show you

Touma: But then I won’t be able to collect stamps!

Haruka: Do you need the souvenir that much?! If you guys come, I’ll hide!

Aya: Is it such an embarrassing dress?

Touma: A bunny girl

Aya: An old drunkard

Haruka: No and no

Touma: A feudal lord

Aya: A full body suit

Haruka: No and no

Touma: It doesn't seem that embarrassing… Okay, if you were asked to compare your costume to somebody from ŹOOĻ, who would you choose?

Haruka: You.

Touma: Me?! Do I look that bad?

Aya: You don’t look bad, Touma san

Touma: Really? But I think my eyes have an unpleasant glare…

Aya: It’s kind, actually! And you’re also amazing at julienne strips!

Touma: How cute…I want a little sister like this too

Haruka: Aaah…the school festival….it really sucks…

*Cut to Tsukumo building*

Ryo:....

Ryo:....everything is perfect. The drawers are empty, the desk is empty

Ryo: It looks fun, doesn't it? A whole agitated world. But it’s okay, I'll take care of the rest. 

Ryo: Ah, that’s…

Ryo: That’s the document that proves that Riku and Tenn, from Trigger, are twins…

Ryo: Were it to be publicity released, it would create a big mess

Ryo: Mpf…I'm done with that. Let’s take care of it. The shredder…

Ryo: That Shirou guy put away the shredder as well? What am I supposed to do with this, now?

Ryo: It would taste bad, just throwing it away. I need to properly get rid of it

Ryo: Shall I burn it? It’s good for me to act like a lovely guy, for once!

Ryo: But, where shall I burn it? Let’s see…

Ryo: A temple? There is often a bonfire there. I think I’ll go on the next rest day…

Ryo: I’ll harmlessly go out with Riku and Tenn’s birth secret in my hands

*Cut to North Meir Royal Palace*

Seth: <Well, I was able to complete my duties without any delay today as well. I wonder if Nagi's alright…>

Seth: <The other day, during our call, Japan's summer heat looked terrible…>

Seth: <It would be difficult even for me to wrap some of North Meir’s cold breeze in a ribbon and send it to him…>

Thorvald: <Your Highness Seth>

Seth: <What’s going on, Thorvald?>

Thorvald: <A person from Hotel Midou gave me this>

Seth: <What is it…a letter? Who wrote it?>

Thorvald: <Sakura Haruki>

Seth: <The dead Japanese pianist? Who’s the addressee?>

Thorvald: <It’s for Nagi. I think Your Highness Seth may have forgotten, but…>

Thorvald: <The staff member from hotel Midou who got this letter from Sakura Haruki contacted the royal family, and Your Highness asked me to dispose of the problem… >

Seth: < ....... >

Thorvald: <I was reluctant to throw it away, so it’s been in my possession ever since>

Seth: <It’s the letter Sakura Haruki wrote Nagi while he was receiving medical treatment at the hotel…>

Thorvald: <Exactly. I thought of giving it to His Highness Nagi, but…>

Thorvald: <I was worried he may have gotten angry if he'd known that the letter was about to be destroyed without him even knowing>

Thorvald: <I was afraid it might cause a fatal, definitive crack between two people who just got over a conflicted relationship…>

Seth:  < ...Did you see the contents of the letter?>

Thorvald: <I didn’t open it. His Highness Nagi would notice if the letter had been opened>

Seth: <The fact that Sakura Haruki was imprisoned is pure reality. If he wrote complains and increscius things about me, Nagi would mistrust me>

Thorvald: <Probably, yes

Seth: <We need to continue loving each other, it’s in the best interest of North Meir as well>

Seth: <I’ll pretend I never saw that letter and get rid of it>

Thorvald: <Your Highness Seth…>

Seth: <Don’t look at me like that, I know what you're thinking! However, Nagi would definitely get angry…>

Seth: <If I act carelessly, I’ll just end up making the whole situation even more miserable. It’s better to bury everything in the darkness>

Seth: <I never saw that letter>

Thorvald: < ...understood>

Seth: < ….aren’t you going to stop me?>

Thorvald: <The authority and welfare of the Royal Family is more important to me>

Thorvald: <I am not willing to see the two of you going back to a conflicted relationship, just to protect a dead man’s honor>

Thorvald: < Since Your Highness Seth told me to get rid of it, I’ll do it right away. As Your Highness wishes>

Seth: < .......>

Thorvald: <So, with Your permission…>

Seth: <Wait! Forget wait I said. Nagi will have the letter>

Thorvald: <Your Highness Seth…that’s a wonderful, brave, just decision. You’re the pride of North Meir>

Seth: <However, I have a request. I want to be the one who gives the letter to Nagi>

Seth: <Nagi will probably question me. His blood will boil with indignation against me. So, in order not to make the situation spin out of control, I want to be close to him to properly apologize>

Thorvald: <You have a wonderful heart. I am so impressed I can’t find the words>

Thorvald: <So, the letter will be kept in the Royal Palace until Prince Nagi is back…>

Seth: <No, I feel like the content may be urgent>

Seth: <In that case, his resentment towards me will double. I need to give him the letter as soon as possible>

Thorvald: <You’re saying that…You’re planning to go to Japan? When?>

Seth: <This weekend>

Thovald: <I can't organize the trip in such a short time!>

Seth: <Adjust the schedule, then>

Thorvald: <But…ah…I wonder if I can… I'm off to make preparations >

Seth: <Yes>

*Door closes*

Seth:  <Nagi…I’m afraid you’ll scold me…however, thanks to this letter, I’ll get to meet you after a long time>

Seth: <I wonder if you’re doing well… >

End of part 2

#Idolish7 #idolish7translation #7thanniversary

[nickyneshwrites]

Falling for You (ONESHOT)

Shizuos had quite the day at school and isn’t feeling too good about himself Izaya decides to help his gloomy little blonde the only way he knows by being an enormous ass.

#izaya x shizuo #izuo #nickynesh ideas #wip ideas #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #durarara #depressed shizuo #writing prompts

[no-i-will-not-shut-up]

anyone else has characters that just turns you into a different person every time you see them

#every time i see castiel i have the urge to spam reblog the entire supernatural tag #when i see shizuo durarara i run to ao3 to scavenge for fics #adventure time clips send me into a depressive episode by pavlov assocation and so on #i havent seen gamzee in a very long time but he made me want to draw in ink back in the day

[sachigram]

Catharsis

((click here to read on ao3!))

The first thing Izaya notices when he wakes up is that the room is too damn bright. He always remembers to close his curtains, as his hours are all over the place, and blackout curtains are essential for any sleep he might salvage.

The second thing he notices is that he's definitely not in his bed, and he can't remember why he wouldn't be.

“Izaya-kun, easy. You hit your head.”

Well, that explains a few things. Izaya turns to look at Shinra, squinting up at him.

“'S too bright...” he murmurs, and Shinra frowns.

“You say that every time, but the curtains are closed. You want me to get you a sleep mask?”

“Every time?” Izaya asks, closing his eyes and ignoring Shinra's stupid question. He tries to remember what he was doing before, but it's all a blur. “What day is it?”

“It's Tuesday. You've been here for two days, and you have a concussion. I've been monitoring you, so you're fine, but your memory might be hazy for a while.”

Izaya hums, used to injuries by this point. It's not the first time he's woken in an unfamiliar bed, and it won't be the last. He licks his lips and notices how dry they are.

“Can I have some water?”

“Yeah, and you're probably starving too, huh? You've barely eaten.” Shinra gives Izaya a firm look as he says this, and Izaya blinks up at him, confused. Shinra's face returns to its normal dopey grin quickly. “I'll be right back.”

Izaya is asleep again before Shinra returns.

The next time Izaya wakes, it's to raised voices.

“You keep saying he's fine, but he's not fine! He can't even focus his eyes for a goddamn minute!” Shizuo. Is that Shizuo? Why would Shizuo be at Izaya's bedside, worried for him?

“He has a head injury. Besides, his body is likely catching up on sleep and fluids. He's not in very good shape,” Shinra says, and Izaya feels there's an IV in his arm. He keeps his face smooth, impassive. It won't do him any good to open his eyes to Shizuo's looming presence.

“Bullshit, the flea does constant cardio. He's gotta be in great shape by now,” Shizuo says, and Izaya hears Shinra sigh.

“Just go home, Shizuo-kun. I told you I'd call you when he's awake and lucid. It won't be good for him to wake up to you here. He'll be scared and might run for it, which will make him worse.”

“I'm not gonna do anything to him! I'm just making sure he's alive!”

“I know that, but he won't. And he's confused enough without you adding to it.”

Shizuo makes a grumbling noise, and then there are footsteps leading down the hall before the distinct sound of a door opening and closing.

“Before you ask,” Shinra says, and Izaya knows it's addressed to him, “Shizuo-kun is worried sick about you, and it's only confirming my suspicions that he's smitten with you.”

“Ha,” Izaya mutters, and when he opens his eyes again, he finds it's not as bright as last time. “Why was he here?”

“He's the one that brought you here. He said he was chasing you and you collapsed off a building.”

“Oh, whatever. He probably slammed my head into a wall and then felt guilty about it.”

“It's possible,” Shinra agrees, “but your blood sugar was extremely low at the time, so it added credibility to his story.” Shinra settles into the chair by the bed, and Izaya glares at the ceiling, knowing what's next. “You're going to kill yourself if you don't start taking care of yourself.”

“I'm busy. I was working and then he started chasing me. It was his fault.”

“You always say it's his fault.”

“Well, it always is!” Izaya sits up and glowers at Shinra. “I keep odd hours, you know that. I don't mean to forget to take care of things, it just happens.”

“That excuse was good the first few times, but I'm really starting to think you do it on purpose.”

“What are you, a concerned mother? Either way, you get my business and my money, so it hardly matters.” Izaya looks down at the IV. “Can I take this out? I need to use the bathroom.”

Shinra gives him a long look before reaching down and taking the IV out himself. Izaya tentatively puts his feet on the ground and stands, feeling wobbly as he does so. Wordlessly, Shinra moves closer and offers his shoulder, and Izaya holds on gratefully and allows Shinra to help him down the hallway.

“I'm going to make something to eat,” Shinra says, his voice muffled through the bathroom door.

Izaya doesn't respond. He sits on the toilet, too weak to keep standing, and when he washes his hands afterwards he has to lean on the sink. His reflection is horrible to look at. He's paler than normal, eyes dark underneath, lips dry and chapped. His cheekbones look too sharp. His hair is going everywhere.

Izaya grumbles and reaches into his pocket for his lip balm, but he isn't surprised to find it missing. Shinra always empties the pockets of his patients for safety reasons.

When Izaya opens the door, he's relieved to see Shinra isn't there waiting on him, but it's short lived, as Celty is quickly approaching him, her body language open and relaxed in his presence, which is odd for her. Shinra must have told her to be nice.

“Need a hand?” Celty asks, lifting the PDA. Izaya considers doing something petty, like swatting her away or slapping her PDA to the floor, but he dismisses the idea quickly. He does need help, and being a brat because he's not feeling well won't be beneficial to him.

“Thanks,” he says instead, leaning against her as she helps him to the table and eases him into a chair. She hovers over him, on edge again, and Izaya peers up at her and waits to see what it is she wants from him.

“You gave everyone a good scare.”

“No one's ever cared before when Shizu-chan injured me. Not that I blame anyone. It happens too often to panic every time.” Izaya puts his elbow on the table and rests his chin against his hand.

“Shizuo didn't do anything. He brought you here. He's been worried for you.” Celty fidgets again, and then her fingers are moving rapidly across the screen. “Listen... I think this would be a good time to try and bury the hatchet with Shizuo. Think of it like an extended olive branch. If not for him, you could have died. Isn't that as good a reason as any to make peace?”

Izaya stares at her.

“Well?” she prompts.

“And have you told him about this grand idea of yours?” Izaya asks.

“Yes. He said you're not likely to change, and I agree. But I also think it's worth a shot.”

“If he thinks so badly of me, he should have left me there.” Izaya doesn't bother reading her response, just buries his head in his arms. “I didn't ask for his help. If he hadn't been chasing me, I wouldn't have had to run for my life, and I wouldn't have needed saving. I don't want to talk about him anymore.”

Izaya hears the sound of her stomping her feet, and then heavy footsteps as she marches towards the kitchen. Shinra makes a startled noise, and then he's speaking in a hushed tone Izaya doesn't bother to listen to. He knows what it's about, anyway.

He drifts off again, and the next time he lifts his head, it's to find a bowl in front of him.

“Just some soup,” Shinra says, sitting across from him. Celty sits next to Shinra, her arms folded over her chest, her neck billowing smoke.

“I'm tired,” Izaya mumbles, rubbing his eyes. He barely looks at the soup, but it smells decent enough.

“You need to eat,” Shinra says. “You're going to be tired a while, even more so if you don't give your body energy.”

Sighing, Izaya brings his spoon to his lips. Some kind of potato soup. It's good, and Izaya wonders which of them made this, but he doesn't bother asking.

“Can I go home tonight?” Izaya asks after a few moments. Shinra gives him a patient look.

“That's up to you. Do you think you can take care of yourself?”

“Well, I'm moving around, not passing out, and I'm holding a conversation with you. I'd say that qualifies,” Izaya muses. He lifts the bowl to his lips and drinks the broth, finding it soothing in his throat.

“Let me rephrase,” Shinra says, and his eyes narrow. “Are you going to bother caring for yourself, or should I expect you back here soon?”

Izaya bristles, sets the bowl back on the table. He smooths his features and forces his voice into a neutral tone.

“Even if I intended to walk into traffic, it's not your place to keep me from doing so.”

“Oh, you'd be surprised. Especially with Celty here! She could knock you out for another few days if she had to.”

“Shinra, we've been over this before. I'm not hurting myself. I'm just busy. Stop being such a nag, alright? It's not as if you care anyway.” Izaya sips some water, watches Shinra over the table. “Besides, if Shizu-chan keeps inviting himself over, I'd rather not be here next time he comes back.”

“Eventually, this feud of yours is going to have to end. You could resolve it peacefully, or wait for one of you to kill the other. I think the first option is the best one,” Shinra says.

Izaya stands, wobbles, and has to sit back down immediately. Shinra is still smiling at him.

“Maybe just stay one more night. We can see how you feel tomorrow.”

“I can call a cab. I could even call someone to help me to the car.”

“How? I have your phone.” Shinra tilts his head to the side. “You need to take this seriously. I think one more night, at least.”

“Fine, but at least give me my phone. If I've been here a few days, I need to contact some people.”

***

He waits until about an hour after Shinra and Celty go to bed. He stands and hangs onto the wall, maneuvering himself as quietly as he can. He finds his keys, knives, wallet, and lip balm in a small bowl on Shinra's counter, and he puts them in his coat pocket alongside his phone, where he has been texting back and forth with Namie and a few clients for the past few hours.

He's already arranged for a ride home, and it takes him a while to exit the building, but he manages to do so without falling down. To his surprise, Shiki's car is the one waiting for him, and he composes himself before opening the back door and getting in beside Shiki.

“Izaya. You look rough. Sure you should be leaving?” Shiki asks.

“Of course. Shinra is a busy man. I'm sure someone else needs that spare bed more than I do,” Izaya says. He meets Shiki's gaze and grins. “I'm feeling much better.”

“Maybe you should take a few more days, just in case,” Shiki says.

“The last thing I need is more downtime. Forgive me, Shiki-san, but I'd really like to get back to work and put this behind me.”

Shiki waits a few moments, eyeing Izaya scrupulously. “Fine then. If you're sure.” He signals the driver, and they're off.

***

When Izaya runs into Shizuo again, it's an accident.

Izaya has buried himself in work once more, as he's accustomed to. He has less time to think about anything else when he's busy.

He's leaning against a wall, head buried in his phone when he feels someone looking at him. His eyes meet Shizuo's, who is wearing his sunglasses, but is clearly watching him. Izaya frowns, weighs his options, and decides to just run for it without saying a word to Shizuo.

“Izaya!” Shizuo shouts after him, but Izaya doesn't stop, just runs and runs until his chest aches and he's gasping for breath. He finally finds a small cafe to duck into, and he makes his way to a table in the back, flopping into it and ordering some tea when the waiter comes by.

He busies himself by sipping the tea and continuing to use his phone. He lifts his head at some point and notices it's raining outside. Surely Shizuo has given up the chase by now? He decides to wait just a little longer to be sure, and to give the rain a chance to let up, but of course it only starts coming down harder. Sighing to himself, he pays his bill and puts his hood on, stepping outside into the downpour.

It's a gloomy day, but warm enough. Izaya is at least thankful he isn't cold and wet, as he can't afford to get sick any time soon. He has so much to do, has taken on so many things at once, and it's still not enough to really quiet his mind or exhaust him enough to where he can sleep at night. He's been ignoring Shinra's advice, and Shinra himself, as the doctor has been harassing Izaya ever since he left in the middle of the night. Sometimes Celty will text him as well, but Izaya hasn't responded to her more personal questions and has kept their correspondence strictly professional.

He walks quickly, weaving through the people around him. He needs to get home and sort through the files he's had Namie organize for him and then he needs to give Shiki a call to discuss progress. Maybe at some point he can get some sleep, but undoubtedly Shiki will have another request, and while Izaya knows it can all wait, he also knows eventually he'll run out of steam and he'd like to finish some things up before then.

He's so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn't notice someone approaching him, but he does jerk away just before Shizuo's hand can close around his wrist. Izaya whirls around, a knife drawn, and he glares up at Shizuo, who is glowering right back at him.

“Why did you run?” Shizuo asks, and Izaya actually laughs in his face.

“Is that a trick question? Do you think I want you to snap me in half?” Izaya asks, and Shizuo's scowl deepens.

“I wasn't going to do anything, and I still won't. Not unless you do something first,” Shizuo says, his eyes on Izaya's knife. He's still wearing the sunglasses, which is ridiculous since it's raining, but Izaya has also seen Shizuo wear them at night, as if they could hide who he is despite the fact he's wearing the same outfit as always.

“I'm busy,” Izaya says. “If you're bothering me for some sort of thank you, you can fuck off. I didn't ask for your help.”

“I wasn't— Hey, fuck you! You didn't deserve being helped at all, flea! I could've left you there to die on your own. That's what you'd have done if our situations were reversed, right?”

“Yes,” Izaya says, smirking as he gazes up into Shizuo's shades, seeing his own reflection in them. “I'd have done more than that. If you fell before me, I'd slit your throat while you were down. I wouldn't hesitate.” Izaya backs away, but keeps facing Shizuo, knows better than to turn from him while Shizuo is focused on him and this close. “You should've let me die.”

Shizuo's teeth are bared, his hands clenched into fists. He takes a few steps forward when Izaya backs away a little more, pursuing Izaya as he always does.

“Yeah? You wouldn't hesitate, huh? Well I'm better than you, and I wasn't gonna attack you while you were down. Celty's been saying some bullshit about using this to try and make things right with you, but I knew you wouldn't change, and I was right. You'll never change.”

“You're right,” Izaya says, and he does turn away then, knowing he's going to have to either attack or run for it once more. He isn't in the shape to be doing either, but he'd rather try to escape than keep facing Shizuo head-on. “Don't flatter yourself, anyway. You didn't save my life. I'd have woken up and called Shinra myself without you.”

“You wouldn't have. There was blood all over. You'd have died if I didn't carry you.”

“I didn't ask for your help!” Izaya snaps, looking back at Shizuo, who is watching him with a strange expression on his face. “If you hadn't been chasing me, I wouldn't have passed out.”

“Why the fuck did you pass out anyway, I-za-ya?” Shizuo asks. Everyone around them is giving them a wide berth, either knowing who they are, or just not wanting to get involved in their shouting match.

“I was tired. I was tired, and I knew you wouldn't stop, so I couldn't stop. I'm not thanking you because it was your fault!”

“Fuck that! You're lucky it was me that was after you and not the same shady ass people as you! And I never asked you to thank me!” Shizuo shouts, and Izaya feels his head pounding in response because this entire exchange is so stupid, and Shizuo's response struck a nerve with him.

“I would've been fine without you. Now let me go.”

Shizuo is watching him carefully, studying his face and his posture. Izaya bristles under it, feeling exposed somehow. Shizuo is an idiot half the time, but sometimes he's so sharp it takes Izaya by surprise, and Izaya isn't in the mood for surprises right now.

“Something's wrong with you,” Shizuo says. “Well. Something more than the usual bat-shit crazy stuff that's wrong with you.”

“I'm busy. Unlike you, I have to do more than punch people for a living.”

“Yeah, you just ruin lives. So what is it? Did you kill someone or something?”

Izaya feels a frigid cold wash over him. His hand feels numb where it grips the knife, and something in Shizuo's expression changes. Unthinkingly, Izaya turns and runs for it, clumsily running into a few people before landing in the path of an oncoming car.

Shizuo's hand snatches him backwards by the hood, and Izaya finds his back held against Shizuo's chest, Shizuo's arms going around him reflexively. The car passes, honking at them, and plenty of eyes are on them now.

“Fuck. You're losing it, flea.”

“Let go of me,” Izaya says, but he doesn't try very hard to pull away. Shizuo's arms drop all the same.

“Shinra said you were exhausted and obviously not caring for yourself. Said it was a constant problem of yours, since he doesn't know how to shut up. All I asked was if you were alive,” Shizuo says, and Izaya is still close to him, though not touching him anymore.

“Shinra is a nosy asshole,” Izaya says.

“He is,” Shizuo agrees.

“So you don't want me to thank you. Why are you following me around then if not to beat my face in or yank gratitude out of me?”

“Well, I kind of saved your life and all,” Shizuo says, and Izaya turns to face him wearily. “So now it kind of feels like my responsibility to make sure you stay alive.”

“I don't need your help. I can take care of myself.”

“Can you?” Shizuo asks, and doesn't wait for a response. He walks forward, bumping Izaya's shoulder with his as he passes. “Let me walk you home. I'd like to sleep tonight, and I won't if I think you're off in a ditch somewhere.”

“Why do you care?” Izaya mutters, following anyway. He does need to get home, and he can hardly control what Shizuo does.

“I guess because you don't.” Izaya watches Shizuo's back curiously, entranced by him. He never can tell what Shizuo is going to do next. He hates and admires that about Shizuo.

“I'm not trying to off myself, Shizu-chan, regardless of what Shinra has said.”

“Maybe not actively. It's still dangerous, you know? Not caring about yourself one way or the other. It just makes things worse later on.”

“Right. I guess you're an expert on being reckless,” Izaya says.

“It's not like you have the market cornered.”

They make decent time. Not many people are walking around anymore since the rain isn't getting any lighter, and they're both soaked to the bone by the time they're in front of Izaya's building. Izaya looks over at Shizuo, sighs, and edges past him.

“Do you want some tea?” he asks, and he doesn't have to look back to know Shizuo is following him.

Namie is still sorting through things when they walk through the door of Izaya's apartment. She gives them both a wilting look, her eyes lingering on Shizuo, and then she gives Izaya an accusing stare.

“You're late,” she says.

“I was waiting for the rain to stop. Didn't want to get wet,” Izaya says, and Shizuo snorts.

“Yeah, you did a great job staying dry,” Namie says. “If you get sick, I'm not going to take care of you.”

“You will if I complain enough to you. You'll be here anyway,” Izaya points out. “You can go now. Try not to curse anyone on your way home.” She rolls her eyes at him and gathers her things quickly, pulling an umbrella from her purse and giving Izaya a pointed look as she does so.

When she's gone, Shizuo turns to him.

“Who was that?”

“My secretary. She has a way about her, doesn't she? Charming woman.” Izaya goes to the bathroom and gets two towels, tosses one to Shizuo when he emerges. “I'm going to get some dry clothes.”

Shizuo doesn't respond, and Izaya knows it's because the beast is feeling just as weird about all this as he is. The two of them know each other pretty well, but have never actually spoken before without fighting either physically or verbally. Izaya is surprised they managed to get through high school together, but Izaya also rarely went to class.

He tugs on some more comfortable clothes before returning to the living room, where Shizuo is still standing, his head looking around like he's trying to take in all the sights of Izaya's apartment.

“I bet I could find you something to wear,” Izaya says, and Shizuo turns to him. “I have some sweatpants that are too big for me.”

“No, it's fine. I should be going anyway. No point in putting on dry clothes when it's still pouring rain,” Shizuo says.

“You don't want some tea?”

Shizuo pauses, and then he shakes his head.

“No, I need to go. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.”

Izaya snorts and pads into the kitchen to make tea for himself. He hears the door open and close, and then he leans on the counter wearily, exhaling a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He doesn't blame Shizuo for not staying— Izaya wouldn't have either, if their situations were reversed. He doesn't know why he offered in the first place.

***

The next time he sees Shizuo is outside Shinra's building.

Izaya is shuffling by, on his way to Shiki for a briefing on his newest assignment. Shiki offered to come to him, but Izaya refused, citing he needed to get out of his apartment for a while. He's been holed up for days, working diligently on different things. He hasn't been to any of his chat-rooms for a while. Some of them have been messaging him privately, asking if he's okay, but Izaya doesn't bother responding.

It's a nice evening. The sun is dipping below the tops of the buildings, illuminating everything in an orange haze as the skies darken with nightfall. Izaya always enjoys seeing the neon lights of the city shine and outline everyone bustling around in their colors. He glances up at Shinra's building and is grateful he has an excuse for not stopping by. Shinra has still been messaging him and leaving voicemails. He's been threatening to come by, but Izaya isn't concerned about it. He's used to Shinra barging in on him by this point.

He pauses when he sees Shizuo step outside. Shizuo is dressed in casual clothes, and Izaya remembers it's the weekend. It's hard to keep the days in order since he's been so caught up with work. Shizuo stretches, reaches in his pocket and pulls out his cigarettes. He pauses when he sees Izaya.

Izaya considers running for it, but then he would just look guilty. He's really just passing by, and he doesn't think he has the energy to run right now. Shizuo is fast, faster than Izaya gives him credit for. Izaya doesn't think he has it in him to be faster.

Shizuo lights his cigarette and walks towards Izaya, his hands going into the pockets of his slacks.

“Flea,” he says in greeting.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya returns.

“What are you doing in Ikebukuro?”

Izaya snorts at the question. Usually, Shizuo would be yelling that at him and throwing something by this point. As it is, Shizuo doesn't look mad or even irritated. He looks like he's genuinely asking.

“I've got somewhere to be and I thought it was a nice night for a walk. How about you? Were you seeing Shinra for an injury?” Shizuo doesn't look like he's hurt or sick, but it's also hard to tell with him. Shizuo walked off gunshot wounds once.

“Huh? Oh, no. I was having dinner with them. A lot of people are up there, actually.” Shizuo stiffens after he says this, like he thinks maybe it was cruel to tell Izaya Shinra is having a party and didn't extend an invitation.

“Leaving the party early, Shizu-chan? Maybe you should go back up to your adoring fans.” Izaya turns to leave, ready to get away from this conversation, but of course Shizuo follows him.

“You could go up. Shinra's been babbling about you nonstop, saying you aren't talking to anyone. He'd be glad to see you.”

“He wouldn't. And anyway, I told you already that I'm busy.”

Izaya gets more and more annoyed as Shizuo walks beside him. Shizuo's apartment is the other direction, and Izaya bristles when he thinks that Shizuo might be walking with him out of pity.

“I don't need a babysitter,” Izaya snaps at last, whirling on Shizuo, who blinks at him.

“I'm not babysitting you.”

“Then what do you want?”

Shizuo takes a drag of the cigarette and looks down at Izaya with a scrutinizing expression, like he either doesn't know what to say or how to say it. Izaya withholds a comment about how that's probably commonplace for an imbecile like Shizuo.

“You don't look good,” Shizuo says at last.

“Fantastic. I look bad so you're following me. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?” Izaya asks, and Shizuo grunts, narrows his eyes.

“You look sick,” Shizuo amends. “You look like you're about to fall over.”

“Well, I'm not. So get away from me and leave me alone.”

Izaya walks faster, his hands curling into fists. It's unusual for Shizuo to get under his skin like this, and Izaya knows he can chalk it up to a lack of food and sleep. His head is pounding, and he just wants to get this stupid meeting out of the way and go home and sleep an entire day if he can. To his chagrin, Shizuo is still behind him. When a hand closes around Izaya's hood, Izaya turns quickly, knife in hand. Shizuo lets go immediately.

“What's wrong with you?” Shizuo spits, and finally he looks angry.

“Lots of things, just like you always thought. I'm the worst person you've ever met and I'm going off to ruin some lives and kill some people.” Izaya backs away, still holding the knife threateningly.

“Izaya—“ Shizuo starts, stepping forward. Izaya throws the knife at Shizuo's foot, stabbing through his shoe and between his toes. Shizuo scoffs and then swipes at Izaya, who already has another knife in hand. “Would you fuckin' quit it? I'm trying to talk to you!”

“Go back to your stupid fucking party, Shizuo,” Izaya says, and when he turns and runs for it, Shizuo doesn't follow him.

***

Afterwards, Izaya packs some things and goes to one of his other apartments. He doesn't want to be barged in on, and he definitely doesn't want to see Shizuo again any time soon. He stays a little over a week, messaging Namie and Shiki and no one else. He avoids his personal phone like the plague, and after about two days and a message from Shizuo of all people, he turns it off, not bothering to read any of the messages.

By the time he's back in Shinjuku, he's feeling worse somehow. Going away usually refreshes him, but he just feels like he's been running from everything, and feeling like the coward he is never fills him with anything but disgust.

He unpacks his things and starts some coffee before he finally turns on his personal phone. Messages flood through one after the other, but it's not like a lot of people are sending him things. It's almost all Shinra, who is sending one word messages at a time to flood and annoy Izaya with notifications. Mairu sent him a message saying they want to see him, which translates to they need money for something. Shizuo sent only one message.

Can I see you?

Izaya stares at it for a few moments before he tosses his phone on the desk, ignoring all the messages. He takes his coffee to the couch and curls up, turning on the TV and accomplishing absolutely nothing.

***

Another week goes by. Finally, Shinra fulfills his threat and barges into the apartment while Izaya is showering.

“Izaya-kun!” Shinra calls. “Ah, are you showering?”

“If you come up here, I'm stabbing you,” Izaya says. Shinra laughs.

“Trust me, I don't want to see you! I'll be down here when you get out.”

Izaya considers locking himself in his room until Shinra leaves, but eventually he gets out of the shower and dresses himself. He towels through his hair and tromps down the stairs, glaring when he sees Shinra sitting at the table.

“I brought Russia Sushi. Simon says he hasn't seen you in a while.”

Izaya's stomach growls. It has been too long.

“I'm sure he's been reveling in the quiet,” Izaya says.

“It's unsettling, actually. Everyone thinks you're plotting something. Well, some people are just saying you died.”

“The city is full of wishful thinkers.” Izaya grabs two bottles of tea from the fridge and pours them over ice before settling at the table with Shinra. “Thanks for the food.”

“You look terrible.”

“Can we start this conversation later? Mealtimes are supposed to be enjoyable.”

Shinra makes a noise of disapproval, but doesn't push it. They eat in silence for a while, but of course Shinra breaks it.

“Have you spoken to Shizuo-kun?”

“Why would I want to speak to that invalid?” Izaya asks.

“It wouldn't kill you to be civil to him. He's got a good heart, and you freaked him out when you fell off that building.”

“He does not have a heart,” Izaya says instead of, I tried being civil to him once, and he hated me on sight. “Don't grace him with basic human anatomy. He's like a jellyfish.”

“Izaya-kun,” Shinra says exasperatedly, “he's trying to bury the hatchet with you. He's tired of fighting. Isn't that good news?”

Izaya doesn't say anything, but his chest clenches. So that's how it is, huh? Shizuo is done with him, done with their feud. If they pass each other, Shizuo will ignore him, go on like Izaya truly is nothing more than piece of trash in the street.

“Izaya-kun?” Shinra asks, and Izaya realizes he's been quiet too long.

“Yes, that's great news. I can finally go on about my business with no interference. Let him know I'm on board with his peace plan and we never have to see each other ever again.”

“Don't be glib,” Shinra says. “You could try being his friend.”

“I don't do well with friends.”

“Lucky for you, Shizuo-kun is way more stubborn than I am. He won't let you withdraw too much. I see now that I waited too long before coming here. You dug yourself into a pit.”

“I don't know what you mean.”

“Izaya,” Shinra says, dropping the niceties. “You can't punish yourself forever for what happened to that kid. It wasn't your fault.”

Izaya chews his ootoro, but suddenly it tastes horrible. He pushes the rest of it away from himself and drinks his tea instead.

“Who told you?” he asks.

“Does it matter? I wish I'd heard it from you.”

“Whoever told you neglected to mention it was my fault.”

“You can't control what people do with the information you give them. He paid you, right?” Shinra asks.

“No, he was in debt. I gave him what he wanted for free. He was eager, but he was an idiot. I didn't think he'd do what he did. I underestimated him.”

“Still,” Shinra continues. “I give medical care to all sorts of terrible people. If I save someone's life, and that person goes out to kill someone later, does that make it my fault?”

“It's different. You're a doctor. You're not supposed to discriminate against anyone, no matter what they do,” Izaya says. “I can control who I do and don't give information to.”

“As refreshing as it is to see your conscience for once, I think you're twisting this into more than it is. You send people into danger all the time. What makes this one so different?”

“He actually died, for one,” Izaya says instead of, “I don't know.”

“I've killed people before, too. I was trying to help, but I've made medical mistakes that cost people their lives. You can't shut yourself down every time something doesn't go your way.”

Izaya doesn't respond because Shinra doesn't get it. He doesn't expect anyone will, and there's more he's unwilling to say. When Shinra realizes he isn't going to get anything else out of Izaya, he sighs and begins prattling on about Celty, and Izaya manages to eat the rest of his sushi.

When Shinra leaves, he pulls Izaya into a tight hug, and Izaya leans into him, closing his eyes.

“Come over soon. We'll have dinner. We can invite other people, too,” Shinra says. Izaya laughs, shaking his head.

“What is it with you and dinner parties?”

“It's what friends do. Now that you and Shizuo-kun aren't fighting, I can invite you both. Also, hey, try to stay on Shiki-san's good side, okay? I hear he had someone who works with him killed recently, and you're always causing trouble.”

When Izaya is alone, he goes to his computer and starts working, shutting everything else out. He tries not to think of who was killed on Shiki's orders, has a pretty good idea already who it was.

***

When he sees Shizuo again, it's Shizuo who spots him first.

Izaya forces himself outside on another walk. Shiki has flat-out refused to give Izaya anything else to do, stating Izaya needs a break, and Izaya has decided not to work on anything else until his head's clear.

He makes his way to the Sunshine 60 building, sneaking past security as he usually does to reach the roof. It's his favorite view and it's quiet, no one else around. He goes to the edge and looks down, thinks of how it would feel to jump, how weightless he'd feel before reaching the ground.

He turns when he hears the door to the roof open behind him. It's Shizuo. Of course it is.

“Why are you up there?” Shizuo asks, freezing. Izaya blinks, not getting it, but then he realizes he is standing on the ledge of the building. He must have climbed up.

“Best view,” Izaya says, shrugging. He hops down and sits with his back facing the edge, enjoying the way Shizuo seems unsettled on his behalf. “Did you come up here to push me?”

“What? No! What kind of shitty joke is that?” Shizuo snaps, moving towards Izaya.

“You could. You could push me and tell everyone I jumped. With the way the rumors are circulating, they'd believe you.”

“Did you come up here to jump?” Shizuo asks, and he looks so concerned that Izaya laughs until his sides hurt and there are tears in his eyes.

Shizuo settles next to him, their arms almost touching, and he lights a cigarette. Izaya turns so he can look back over the city, and they're both quiet for so long that Izaya is almost able to forget Shizuo is there.

“Where have you been lately?” Shizuo asks.

“Around. Home, mostly.”

“I texted you,” Shizuo says, and Izaya can't help but laugh again at the absurdity of it all.

“Shizu-chan, what the hell do you want from me? You wanted me out of your city and then I actually complied and you had the gall to miss me? You're a walking contradiction, but I guess I knew that already from your name and personality.”

“Fuck off. Shinra said—“ he stops himself, and Izaya glares over at him.

“What did Shinra say?”

“He said you're depressed.”

“Well, you know he's an idiot. And didn't anyone teach you it's wrong to gossip?”

“Izaya—“

“I'm not depressed,” Izaya says, louder than he means to. He scoffs and moves away from the ledge they're leaning on, keeping his back to Shizuo.

Shizuo doesn't say, “Of course you're not depressed. I've met you, and you don't have a conscience or feelings.” He doesn't say, “What are you, some kind of wuss?” He doesn't storm after Izaya to punch him. Shizuo stays where he is, says nothing. And when Izaya finally looks back at him, he thinks Shizuo looks a little sad.

This entire thing couldn't get more fucking ridiculous.

“You wanna come to my place?” Shizuo asks, and Izaya decides he stands corrected.

“Why would I want to do that?”

“What else have you got to do? You're already in the city. You might as well.”

“That's the definition of going into the lion's den. Or maybe the belly of the beast is more fitting.”

Shizuo glares at him. “How about you don't be an asshole, and I won't hurt you?”

“I don't always try to be an asshole,” Izaya says, but when Shizuo shoulders past him, Izaya finds himself turning and following Shizuo anyway, too curious for his own good.

They stop at a convenience store for cigarettes and alcohol. Izaya shells out the money for a nicer bottle of sake, ignoring Shizuo's protests. If Shizuo snaps his neck tonight, Izaya wants to be drinking the nicer stuff before he dies. Besides, it might culture Shizuo a bit. Their banter remains light as they make their way to Shizuo's building, passing by plenty of incredulous people who clearly recognize them.

Shizuo's apartment is as charming as it is small. It's clean, and somehow it doesn't reek of smoke. Izaya wonders if Shizuo usually smokes out the window.

Izaya settles on the couch while Shizuo goes to get them cups. He decides he'll have one drink to placate the monster, and then he'll leave. It'll be short and simple.

An hour later, they're completely sloshed, laughing about stupid things like they're actually friends. Izaya's never seen Shizuo like this, completely at ease, especially in his presence. Izaya can't remember the last time he felt so relaxed.

“You ever done this before? Drank with...uh. Someone till you really overdid it?” Shizuo asks, and Izaya giggles when he realizes Shizuo stopped himself from saying 'friend' in case it offended Izaya. It helps distract from the painful memory of the last time he drank too much and someone else was there.

“I got Shinra drunk in high school,” Izaya says instead of the most recent time. He wants to keep this light.

“Oh, fuck. I bet he was obnoxious.”

“He was. He locked himself in my bathroom and cried in the tub. After a while I kind of forgot he was there, and then Mairu yelled at me to get him out so she could shower.”

Shizuo laughs, and they fall back into a companionable silence.

“Why'd you invite me over, Shizu-chan?” Izaya asks.

“Why'd you come?” Shizuo counters defensively.

“Relax, I'm only curious. You sent me a message and asked to see me. Did you want something?”

Shizuo huffs, tries to refill his cup, but the bottle is empty. He gets up from the couch and grabs a beer from his fridge.

“I don't want to fight with you anymore,” Shizuo says at last, and Izaya snorts.

“Yeah, Shinra said as much.”

“God, he's a fucking blabbermouth,” Shizuo grumbles, and Izaya laughs so hard he falls over into the vacant space Shizuo left. It's warm.

“I just...” Shizuo trails off, and when Izaya looks up at him, he finds Shizuo hovering awkwardly over the couch. Izaya quickly sits up so Shizuo can reclaim his spot. “You almost died in front of me. It made me think about how stupid the whole thing is. What if I actually kill you one day and have to tell your sisters?”

“They'd be ecstatic,” Izaya says as Shizuo flops back down. “Mairu might send you flowers.”

“Fuck that. They care about you, even if they don't say so. I thought a long time about it, and the truth is, I don't wanna kill anyone. So then I realized I can't keep fighting with you, or else one day, I really might kill you for real.” Shizuo sips at his beer and looks over at Izaya. “I don't want that.”

“I always assumed one day we'd either kill each other, or you'd outgrow me,” Izaya says, and his tone is so bitter that it startles him. He forces a smile when Shizuo keeps looking at him. “I guess that's why I'm not surprised.”

“We can't just fight forever. You could try being less of a dick, and then, I don't know. We could be friends. Or at least not antagonize each other all the time.”

“I don't know if you've noticed, Shizu-chan, but I'm not exactly good at having friends.”

Shizuo laughs. “Yeah, me neither. It'll be great.”

“Whatever. You have all kinds of friends. Lots of people care about you. It's almost sickening,” Izaya huffs. Shizuo doesn't look angry, though. He looks pensive.

“It's all surface stuff. I can't let go for even a minute, or I'll hurt someone. It's just kind of exhausting engaging with people.”

“Well,” Izaya says, very out of his element here, “you'll never find yourself a housewife with that attitude.”

“No shit,” Shizuo says, and they both laugh again. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“No housewife prospects?”

“Ah, afraid not. As surprising as it may be to you, I'm not likable to many people.” Izaya expects Shizuo to laugh, but he doesn't. Shizuo frowns like he doesn't get it.

“Yeah, but you're... You know.” Shizuo waves his hand.

“Huh?” Izaya asks.

“You look— You know. Like you do.”

It takes Izaya a second to realize Shizuo is complementing him. Then a wicked grin splits his face. Shizuo glares in response.

“Are you saying you find me attractive?” Izaya asks.

“Besides your shitty as fuck attitude, yeah, sure,” Shizuo says. “Don't act like you don't know how you look. It's obnoxious.”

“How do you think I look?” Izaya asks as innocently as he can. Shizuo clearly isn't buying it.

“Fuck off,” he spits, taking another gulp of beer. Izaya reaches over, puts his hand over Shizuo's on the can and takes it from him. He takes a sip of the beer, finding it disgusting, but he keeps his expression level and licks his lips before holding the can out for Shizuo to take. Shizuo just keeps staring at him.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya purrs, ready to tease him more, but then Shizuo's mouth is sealing over his. He gasps into it, opening his lips for Shizuo's tongue. It's sloppy and wet, but Izaya can't even think of how gross it is. He's hot under Shizuo's touch, and when Shizuo yanks him into his lap, Izaya accidentally drops the beer in the floor. Neither of them really notice in their haste to get to each other.

Izaya winds up with his pants and underwear shoved clumsily down his thighs, his face buried against Shizuo's neck as Shizuo wraps his hand around them both, pumping them together until Izaya is coming first, panting hard against Shizuo's skin. Shizuo joins him a moment later, shuddering underneath Izaya, his hand stilling when Izaya starts trembling in overstimulation.

Izaya expects Shizuo to throw him out or...something. He's waiting for some sort of freak-out, but instead Shizuo lifts him up and carries him to bed, undresses them both entirely, and presses down against him until they're both coming again, Izaya's moans muffled in Shizuo's mouth because Shizuo won't stop kissing him.

In the morning, Izaya wakes to a pounding headache and feels like he's going to vomit. Shizuo is spooned behind him, strong arms wrapped around Izaya's waist. Izaya carefully untangles himself and watches with interest as Shizuo immediately cuddles into the pillow Izaya was using in his absence. Izaya dresses quickly and cleans the spilled beer before slipping out of the apartment. He makes it halfway home before he ducks behind a building to throw up.

***

He doesn't see or hear from Shizuo for a while.

He wonders if Shizuo is just mortified that it happened, or if he's mad Izaya ran off. Either way, Izaya thinks it was a mistake on both their parts, just two lonely people falling together because they fit in the moment. He decides to put it behind him.

When someone knocks at his door, he grumbles, expecting an unannounced client, or perhaps Shiki, who has been uncharacteristically nice to him lately, but when he opens the door, Shizuo is standing there, his mouth a hard line.

“Shizu—“ Izaya's cut off as Shizuo pulls him into a kiss, lifts him up and kicks the door closed behind them as Izaya melts against him.

“Fucking flea, stop running from me,” Shizuo growls, and he carries Izaya up the stairs to the bed, making good use of the lube Izaya keeps in his bedside table.

They spend the day in bed, alternating between fucking and dozing off. Izaya sleeps with his head against Shizuo's chest, wakes every now and then feeling like he should get up and do something, but he always ends up curling more into Shizuo, who snatches him closer as if daring him to try and get free.

It's dark outside when they finally get out of bed. Izaya takes Shizuo to a great ramen place down the street. They don't talk much, just focus on the delicious food, and when they're done, Izaya expects Shizuo to turn and head back to his own place, but he doesn't.

“You don't have any clothes at my place,” Izaya says, amused.

“What about those sweatpants you said would fit me?” Shizuo counters, looking defiant, and Izaya laughs until Shizuo kisses him to shut him up.

***

Izaya resumes working, and he meets with Shiki to go over a new assignment. It's a simple job, merely gathering information from various people about one target. Shiki scrutinizes him while they speak.

“You look better. Did you go to that onsen I suggested?” Shiki asks.

“No, but I'll definitely get around to it,” Izaya says.

“Well, whatever you did, I'm glad you're more focused.”

“Shiki-san...” Izaya pauses before continuing. “May I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Shiki leans back in his seat, takes a swig of bourbon. Izaya has opted not to drink, and likely never will again at one of these meetings.

��I know you know I'm responsible for what happened with Akane-chan,” Izaya says, and Shiki's gaze sharpens. “You knew the whole time, and you didn't kill me.”

“You serve a purpose,” Shiki says. “When you're not being a shady brat, you're useful to us. And Kine is fond of you. If I had you killed, he'd likely bitch at me about it.”

Izaya grins, thinking of Kine.

“Was that what you wanted to ask? Why I didn't have you killed?”

“Ah, no. I learned recently one of your colleagues was killed. Yasuhiro-san. We both worked with him before.”

“Did you have a point?” Shiki asks, raising his eyebrow.

“Did you have him killed because of what he did to me? Did you know?” Izaya asks. Shiki sighs, drains his glass, and sets it on the table.

“Izaya, your life would get a lot easier if you learned to be loyal to me. You can confide in me, and if not me, Kine.”

Izaya decides it's as good an answer as he's going to get from Shiki. He stands, bows, and turns to leave.

“By the way, stop fucking around with kids,” Shiki says, and Izaya stiffens. “What happened to that teenager wasn't directly your fault, but you've meddled with plenty others in the past. If you keep at it, I really will kill you, Kine be damned.” When Izaya turns back to him, Shiki is grinning.

***

Shizuo seems to have a thing for Izaya's couch. He's always lounging on it when the opportunity presents itself, and Izaya isn't surprised to find him there when he returns home.

“Shinra called,” Shizuo says, lifting his head to look at Izaya as he enters. “He said he's glad we're in the 'throes of hot passion', but that we have to see him soon.”

“Shinra doesn't have the right to boss either us or our passions around.” Izaya goes to the couch and flops on top of Shizuo, who grunts at him and wraps him up.

“You look like you had a bad day,” Shizuo says. Izaya nuzzles at his throat.

“It wasn't bad. I found out someone who wronged me was killed. I'm a little...put off that I didn't get to watch him suffer, but I'll survive.”

Shizuo stiffens underneath him. “Yeah? What did he do to you? Set you up or something?”

Izaya sighs softly, is grateful Shizuo can't see his face.

“Do you remember when you found me in the rain and asked if I killed someone?”

“Yeah,” Shizuo says, rubbing his hands down Izaya's back.

“I did. Well— I didn't kill him directly. It wasn't on purpose. But he died all the same.”

“What happened?” Shizuo asks, and Izaya is immensely relieved Shizuo didn't throw him across the room and actually wants to hear him out.

“He was this kid who wanted to make some assholes pay. Loan sharks, you know. They were going to run his family's business into the ground, so I gave him some information on the owner of the company, some unsavory things he'd like to keep secret, and that gave the kid leverage. Only, he didn't do it the way I said. He went to the guy's house and pulled a gun on him like some hotshot, and then the guy killed him.”

“Shit,” Shizuo says. “Yeah, that doesn't sound like it was your fault. You didn't give him the gun, right?”

“No,” Izaya says.

“Well then, it was his own damn fault. That was probably his plan all along, whether he went to you first or not. Kids like that are always going to find a way.”

“Yeah,” Izaya says, closing his eyes. He breathes in Shizuo's scent, can't believe Shizuo is actually comforting him about this.

“So is that the guy who was killed? The owner or whatever? You wanted to see him suffer?”

“Oh, no. He's alive. I'm going to use my own resources to blackmail him and make him wish he'd never been born. I'm talking about...someone else. A man I've been in meeting rooms with many times, and never thought much of.

“I got pretty drunk at a meeting with the Awakusu. It was in bad form, but I wasn't happy about that kid, you know? I'll be the first to admit I've had a hand in a lot of the goings on in this city, teenagers included, but those kids are different. They're all desperate to find a way to stand out and be something extraordinary, and like you said, they'll find a way whether I help or not. But this kid, he was an idiot. I gave him something foolproof to use, and somehow he fucked it up. He was never going to live anything other than an incredibly boring life, and he's dead now. Apparently my sisters knew him pretty well. At least, they went to his funeral, but they could have done that just to get out of school.”

“Sounds like something they'd do,” Shizuo says. He hugs Izaya to him, and Izaya feels bolstered enough to keep going.

“Anyway, I got drunk and Shiki-san was pretty annoyed at me. He ordered one of his men to drive me home, but the guy didn't drive me home. He took me to his place, and—“

Shizuo is squeezing him tightly now. Izaya gasps for air, and Shizuo releases him, goes back to petting his back.

“Fuck, I'm sorry— That bastard.”

“For a while, I wasn't even sure it happened. And then I thought I deserved it. I learned Shiki-san killed him not long after it happened. I don't know how he found out, but if I had to guess, it'd be that Yasuhiro-san was bragging about it. He was an idiot.”

“I'm sorry. God, that's so fucked up. And then you came home to drink with me, and I just grabbed you like that. You must've been scared,” Shizuo says.

“Of course I wasn't scared. I've been wanting you to grab me for a long time.”

“Still.”

“Why did you grab me, anyway?”

“I told you, I did a lot of thinking when you busted your head open in front of me. And then, I don't know. You were so sad and you were all by yourself, but you were making yourself be alone. I didn't like it.”

“I should know better than to ask you for a legible explanation,” Izaya jabs, and Shizuo grumbles at him and kisses his hair.

***

Izaya wakes up the next morning to an empty bed.

He rolls over onto his back and stretches out, wondering to himself if Shizuo left for the day already. He can't help the wave of anxiety that hits him. He unloaded a lot of things on Shizuo before. He doesn't guess he would be able to blame Shizuo for running off.

He sighs and forces the worry away, gets out of bed and dresses. No matter what, he still has work to do, and he refuses to wallow about any of this any more than he already has.

As he makes his way downstairs, he blinks in surprise when he finds Shizuo in the kitchen, wearing Izaya's favorite frilly apron. It was a gag gift from his sisters, but Izaya truly likes it and the material it's made of, likes to wear it when he actually bothers cooking.

“You need to go grocery shopping,” Shizuo informs him. “You barely have anything here, but I made you an omelet.”

“I thought you left already,” Izaya says.

“It's Saturday,” Shizuo says, and Izaya frowns, reminds himself to keep better track of the days of the week.

He makes his way to Shizuo, tuning out Shizuo's nagging. Shizuo shuts up when Izaya hugs him from behind, holds on tightly in wordless thanks. Izaya doesn't know exactly what he's thanking Shizuo for, but decides it's probably a bit of everything. Shizuo doesn't ask for an elaboration.

“I'll make dinner,” Izaya murmurs between Shizuo's shoulder-blades.

“Then we'll definitely have to go grocery shopping,” Shizuo says. “You should make breakfast tomorrow, too.”

Izaya smiles, hugs him tighter, never once asks when they decided Shizuo was staying so long.

“You've got a deal.”

#shizaya #Izaya Orihara #Shizuo Heiwajima #unhealthy coping mechanisms #depression #tw: implied/referenced rape

[minizayas]

Here's an idea i just had. Izaya listening to MCR. Izaya screaming the lyrics to MCR songs. One day Namie walked in on him doing so and Namie sometimes teases him about it but he always says something about her brother to annoy her and get her off his back. For like a day. At most.

Bonus, because i can. Shizuo one day walking in on Izaya screaming lyrics to MCR songs and like. Honestly thinking he needs help well, more than normal and just kinda pulling him into a hug and Izaya just. Accepting it because he does need help.

#durarara #shizaya #orihara izaya #heiwajima shizuo #my chemical romance #i know this is kinda ooc but Im sleep deprived and depressed and also screaming the lyrics to mcr songs let me force my feelings on my faves #izaya does need some help tho #yagiri namie #i almost forgot to tag her #sorry namie #you deserve better

[therealizayaorihara-blog1]

Trigger warning contains actions and thoughts to suicide and depression you have been warned

Izaya: hey shizu-chan what would you do if I died.

Shizuo: I would dance on your fucking grave.

Izaya: thanks shizu-chan...

Later that evening izaya was sitting on the roof of the tallest building in ikebukaro.

Izaya: well shizuo I hope you know how to dance I wonder which one you'll do.

He jumps.

#suicide #depression #shizaya #izaya #durarara izaya #shizuo x izaya #izaya orihara #drrr izaya #Izaya #shizuo #shizuo heiwajima #drrr shizuo #durarara shizuo #sad #upsetting

[kyaramaya]

picture diary of my mom sending me to the psychologist to get diagnosed with ADD

my mom:

psychologist:

me:

#fjfjdjsjjajw #she thinks bc i got cs in math this uear im not going to get into college or get scholarships and that if i could just FOCUS i would be #a genius and smart boy (even tho i have a 3.6 gpa and mostly straight As) #lmao the dr was like ?????? ur doing so well ??? ur coping with add amazingly?? why r u here about grades when ur doong so well?? #doctor also asked me about depression and was like do u think about suicide or self harm and i was like :) not at all!!1! #fjdjsj #im v tired but it went way better than i expected lol #also he said i probably have add but ive found ways to do the best i can to work with it and around it that i shouldnt need medication #personal #me #shizuo-chan

[metalandmagi]

Winter 2021 Anime Worth Watching!

Since 2020 basically sacrificed itself to give us the most stacked anime season of all time, I’m currently buried under the weight of almost 20 shows airing per week. So for anyone who’s looking for some anime to watch this winter, here’s some first impressions! I’m speed running my list this time by only talking about the new shows...because otherwise this would be my great American novel. 

If anyone’s interested, I have master lists for both 2020 anime and 2019 anime, because there’s no shortage of fun things to find. 

New Shows!

And before anyone asks, So I’m A Spider, So What? isn’t on here, because CG spiders freak me out.

Cells At Work Code Black: This...less comedic spin off of Cells At Work (made by a different studio) takes the wholesome concept of Osmosis Jones meets cute anime girls and turns it on its head. In this much more depressing version, we follow a rookie red blood cell who works in the body of an overly stressed, alcoholic smoker who puts every strain on the body imaginable. I love Red Blood Cell AA2153 and his co-workers, but man am I glad we get the regular Cells At Work airing this season too, because I need something fun and uplifting after seeing my sweet son go through hell every episode. 

*Heaven’s Design Team: Have you ever wondered how God came up with some of the weird ass animals that live on this planet? Like, what’s the deal with giraffes? And why can’t we have dragons and flying horses? Well this is a comedy about the engineers and designers in heaven creating the new animals that are going to inhabit the Earth. That’s it, that’s the show. It’s kind of in the same vein as Cells At Work, having comedy blend with a surprising amount of educational information. If you want something light and funny, this is the show for you (though I don’t think it needs to have full length episodes). I’m just hoping there’s an episode about how the hell the platypus was created. Also it’s the only new one available on Crunchyroll.

Horimiya: A romantic comedy about a girl named Hori who fits the image of a perfect queen bee and a quiet bespectacled boy named Miyamura who never makes an impression at school. When the two meet by chance outside of the classroom, we see that Hori is practically raising a younger brother by herself, and Miyamura is actually a sweet guy who happens to be covered in tattoos and piercings. This show is an exercise in breaking down the images people have of others in their minds, and it’s a concept that really hits home in a fun and meaningful way. Honestly, this has become one of my immediate favorites. The characters have great chemistry, and I can’t wait to see more of them!

Monster Incidents (Kemono Jihen): When big shot Tokyo detective Inugami is called to a rural town to investigate a series of strange animal deaths, he finds a mysterious boy with the nickname Dorotabo who has been shunned by the other children in town. As the detective gets closer to Dorotabo, he discovers that there may be more...inhuman secrets to the boy than he realizes...and Dorotabo discovers that Inugami has some secrets of his own. This is a hard show to sell without spoiling the first episode, but it had twists and turns that kept me engaged from start to finish. I’m really interested to see where the plot goes, because I thought this was going to be something totally different just from the PV and series summary. If it plays its cards right, this could be a great paranormal detective show!

Wonder Egg Priority: A psychological drama about a girl named Ai who starts having dreams about a mysterious egg that promises to give her what she wants most in the world...a true friend. Before long, she begins to see how the dream world and reality are tied together, and trippy antics ensue. It’s hard to say more without spoiling anything, but I had to go back and add this one in because I made the mistake of thinking it was an OVA when it’s actually a full series. And what a series it’s starting out to be. This anime has all the psychological discomfort of a Satoshi Kon product with the beauty and style of something from Kyoani (even though it’s made by Clover Works). It’s really one of those anime you just have to see to understand.

Sk8-∞ (Skate the infinity): An original skateboarding anime from Bones, featuring a typical sports anime protagonist who takes a new transfer student who has never skateboarded in his life under his wing. Together they compete in dangerous races and take the skating community by storm. The character designs rival Appare Ranman’s in outlandish creativity, and I can smell the main characters’ ship dynamic a mile away (considering they’re exactly the same as the protagonists from Robihachi). If you’re looking for some wild and crazy fun with top notch skateboarding animation, don’t skip this!

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu (Seiin High School Boys Volleyball Club): Yes, it’s another volleyball anime. And no, it’s not just a clone of Haikyu. This story follows Yuni Kuroba, a physically built but emotionally weak teenager who finds out his childhood friend Hajime is moving back to their hometown for high school. Yuni discovers Hajime has become an exceptional volleyball player and they join their school’s volleyball club hoping to turn the unknown team into a rising star. If anything, this anime is much more like Stars Align or Free, where the sport is a backdrop for letting the characters explore their personal problems. Or at least it seems that way after the first episode. I went into this show ready to throw it in the trash because how could anything compete against my beloved Haikyu, but I found myself really enjoying the dynamics of the main duo and I’m curious to see what the rest of the team is like.

And speaking of sports anime rip-offs…..I can’t believe I’m including this but…

Skate Leading Stars: The show where the animators clearly wanted to design another throw away idol anime but saw how popular Yuri On Ice was so they decided to make whatever the hell this show is instead. It revolves around a fictional team sport called skate leading, and we follow the world’s most insufferable main character, a former figure skater named Kensei who wants to return to the ice and join his school’s skate leading team after he finds out his childhood rival is going to compete in the sport. Look, this show is just trashy enough to get a certain type of audience hooked, and it mainly has to do with the best boy of the winter season, Hayato Sasugai, the aspiring team “coach” who pulled most of us into watching this show with his punk appearance, snide comments and smug personality. He’s basically the lovechild of Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima in a high school sports anime setting. The show treats itself with the perfect amount of sincerity to get away with being absolutely ridiculous most of the time without making you feel like you’re watching it from a dumpster...like Try Knights. You will know after one episode whether this show is for you. All I can say is, Hayato is worth the watch, and I haven’t seen any 3D animation used for the skating scenes (yet) so that’s a win for me. 

Honorable mention:

Jobless Reincarnation ( Mushoku Tensei): Yet another isekai where the main character is hit by a car (big surprise) and gets reincarnated into a fantasy world...but he happens to remember his previous life and narrates himself growing up as a jaded adult. I’m only including this because it looked amazing animation wise, and I love the opening where getting hit by a car and dying is actually traumatic. And I love the protagonist’s parents (who are retired adventurers who just want to bang all the time). But honestly...the main character is the fucking worst, and I don’t know if I want to keep watching it because of how creepy and weird he is. Like...he’s the hit on your fantasy mom as a baby kind of creepy and weird. But for anyone who wants a cool looking isekai that had an amazing PV, it’s worth checking out. 

Continuing Series!

Because the real gold of the season is in all the established anime getting their next seasons, I’m just going to list some of the things that are also amazing and definitely worth checking out if you haven’t already (because I’ve already talked about most of them at some point and don’t know what else to say).

Attack On Titan season 4

The Promised Neverland season 2

Beastars season 2

Log Horizon season 3

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime season 2

Re: Zero season 2 (second cour)

Dr. Stone season 2

Cells at Work season 2

Osomatsu-san season 3 (second cour)

Higurashi New (second cour)

Jujutsu Kaisen (second cour) 

Not to mention all the shows I don’t watch that everyone else loves...like World Trigger (which I have seen quite a bit of, but long shounen shows are too much for me now) Quintessential Quintuplets, and Non Non Biyori. 

So there’s just some of all the anime airing this season. Hopefully, someone can find something they like. Here’s to a great year...well, of anime at least...

#anime recommendations #anime worth watching #dr stone #the promised neverland #that time i got reincarnated as a slime #beastars #cells at work #cells at work code black #log horizon #horimiya #monster incident #kemono jihen #sk8 the infinity #2.43: seiin high school boys volleyball club #re: zero #skate leading stars #heaven's design team #jujutsu kaisen #higurashi new #wonder egg priority

[oriharaizaiza]

I waited a bit with analyzing this particular chat, since I wasn't sure if it actually took place in the beginning, or if the events mentioned in it are those that occur later in the book; but I don't think that's the case. I was concerned it might be because of Izaya's reaction to the mention of guns, and not wanting to talk about it. However, I think if this was about Shizuo getting shot, I think Celty wouldn't talk about it in such a detached way, so at the moment I think this event simply inspires Izaya's later actions.

We start of with Mikado copy-pasting several lines of mechanical laughter, and Izaya low-key complaining about it, only to quickly delete the chat history when Celty joins.

What he's deleting is apparently him 'jokingly' talking about ways to legally murder Shizuo. Now, why? One possibility is simply to protect his identity, after everyone knows about their rivalry, and with Celty especially he can't risk that. However! He knows 'Saika' and Celty are friends, regardless of whether he's aware of Saika being Anri and apparently he can see who's online in a user list; so then why would he have been okay with Saika seeing it, when she can easily tell Celty about it?

I think the answer is pretty simple. This wasn't calculated at all, it was just Izaya venting his frustration to Mikado, and then getting embarrassed about it when Mikado points out how obsessed and stupid he's acting. Then he realizes the others will see and goes 'oh fuck, oh shit' and gets rid of the evidence.

"Shizuo's name seems to pop up in here a lot", in context, it's easy to assume that that's because Izaya talks about him (wether out of frustration or obsession is impossible to know though). Alternatively however, it could simply be a reference so Saika's spamming in the previous book.

And then we have this private conversation with Mikado. Online, Mikado hardly hides his intentions and the 'big boss' past of his personality. I'd say he's completely in control of this conversation, not Izaya! It also reveals that Izaya probably has a very dark sense of humor, the type you'll recognize if you hang out with depressed neurodivergents a lot. (Which is not to say he's depressed; he just shares the humor and the nihilist world view).

There's really no manipulation going on here, they talk as friends would, although Mikado does seem rather eager to use Izaya for his info. And Izaya just goes with it too, even trying to stir Mikado in the right direction for understanding what the Saika thing actually was, though Mikado doesn't really question it.

(it was the Saika children logging in individually under the same name while under influence of Haruna, not Anri. There was never any virus involved, that's just a bullshit explanation that Celty came up with.)

Izaya does take a dig at Mikado for being dirt poor though, which probably double serves as a slight warming that Mikado should keep up friendly relationships with him or he'll lose access to that privilege. ... Mikado proceeds to be a killjoy anyway.

#drrr #drrr!! #durarara!! #durarara #izaya orihara #orihara izaya #izaya #mikado ryuugamine #ryuugamine mikado #setton #saika #kanra #tanaka tarou

[incorrect-russia-sushi-family]

Shizuo: Why are you on the floor?

Izaya: I'm depressed.

Izaya: Also I was stabbed, can you get Simon, please.

#incorrect russia sushi family #russia sushi family #orihara izaya #heiwajima shizuo #source: scatterpatter's incorrect quotes generator #original quote belongs to original owner

[nickyneshwrites]

Cold chapter 2

ITALICS=Thinking to themself

------------------------------------------------------------

”So could you regale me with your amazing feat Nezumi-san, you say you fought with Shizu-chan”

”You mean how my boys and I completely beat that fuckers ass! Don't know why nobody else could do it especially you Orihara-san"

Izaya let out a dry laugh and plastered on the most believable smile he could muster in front of the would-be gang leader.

It was humans like these that made Izaya remember why he did-what he did,2 weeks...That's how long it had been since he last saw Shizuo, at first he thought the blond was just looking for some time alone- he was looking less angry and more down lately avoiding contact and sleeping in his old apartment instead of their shared flat, and Izaya didn't like that. He was worried and when he heard rumors of some small time gang having attacked and beaten the man (his Shizu-chan), and won a week ago, so he decided it was time to take action.

Days of searching, called in favors and the few broken fingers of a poor underling later Izaya had found and made contact with the leader of the...... It didn't even matter, they attacked his Shizuo.

”Nezumu-san as happy as I am for your victory, Shizuo isn't known to stay down for long” Izaya was fighting to hold his composure he was leaning against a grimy alley wall and fingering his switchblade in his coat's pocket.

The bastard had the gall to stand smugly in front of him.

”Ha from what I heard he goes down pretty easy for you.....”

’!!!!’ Izaya was not pleased...

He let out a mirthless chuckle, ”Nezumu-san no matter how much you boast and flatter I find it hard to believe that you and your crew single-handedly took out Shizuo Heiwajima, so lets cut the pleasantries and get real, where is he now?”.

The sentence was punctuated by a blade being pointed dangerously at the unsuspecting street urchin.

He looked worried, said Nezumi was new to the city and wasn't acquainted with Izaya’s brand of business and it was painfully obvious he thought Izaya was here in this decrepit alleyway to thank or congratulate him...there would be no such thing.

”T-tch like I said man we taught the bastard a lesson after interferin’ in our business and left ’im lying in ’der” the smug look his face fell as he noticed the informant skip closer his red eyes glinting.

”I didn't check to see if he left and I'd be surprised if he could walk after all we di-!!!”

All too late he saw the glint of silver fly towards him, but he did feel warm blood trickle down his side and tastes copper in his mouth as he bit into his tongue, then he saw the very pissed informant charge towards him and armed with another knife only to be kicked to his back.

”I think I've heard quite enough of that from you. It seems you misinterpreted your invitation here this time evening, because of YOU!!!”

Izaya pressed his leg on the handle of the knife stuck probably in Nezumi’s ribs eliciting a pained gasp.

”I can't find my Shizu-chan, so let me correct whatever wrong assumption is drifting around in that empty skull of yours”

He leaned down grabbing then twisting the knife he lodged in the urchins side.

”I'm.Going.To. Make.You.Disappear”

He drove the knife deeper while twisting and adding pressure on every syllable.

The urchin dared to gasp in pain and try to pull away begging for mercy ”S-STOP, I-WE DIDN’T KILL HIM, SO WHY GO AFTER ME!!!” He yelled as another knife was plunged straight through his hand pinning it to the alley floor.

Izaya laughed in the dark grimey alley and without thinking twice then answered.

”Because you touched my property....”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shadows...shadows everywhere, whisking up the walls, casting on the ground and climbing up his body moving to his head, trying to ensnare his mind, whispering the sweet nothings of doubt and self hate in his mind.

He remembers calling Tom telling him he didn't feel well-it was close enough to the truth.

He remembers the buzzing in his head, the numb limbs, the static in his ears.

He was wandering down the street everything was....grey his vision swam with this paste of grey the, people?. They were all more unfocused blobs, he had kept his head down too afraid to see looks of fear and distaste.

He was wet wasn't he....among a sea of shadows and umbrellas he saw his reflection in a shop window.......All he saw was grey.

Shizuo closed his eyes, where was he to look when all he saw was the demons of his mind crawling on the wall's.

Walls?...Where am I?...These aren't my walls...Not Izaya’s walls...Izaya!

What the hell is happening,why isn't he here!? I can't breath I can't think I need...

”Izay....!”

In his frazzled state, Shizuo failed to notice the syringe that was inserted in his arms and as the sedative worked in his system he fell limp on the bed.

The shaking hands of a young man in an lab coat dropped the syringe and quickly headed for the door, he opened the bolts and briskly made his way down to an office and wasted no time in entering.

”Did you do as I instructed” The voice sounded mildly irritated probably due to the fact that they wanted nothing to do with this mess.

”Y-yes S-shiki-dono he's put to sleep with enough sedative to put an elephant to sleep but with his uhm... Unique psysiology it'll only last about twenty four hours...”

Shiki sighed ”Thats good enough, it'll give me time to inform the informant of his whereabouts... Ever since the supposed defeat of Heweijima The fool has been harassing the city gangs more than normal I'm sure he was looking for the blonde”

He looked at the confused scientist.

”I thought that Heiwajima and Orihara hated each other,Heiwajima he was calling out for him... Are the two of them...like that?”

The scientist fidgeted under the intense gaze of the Awakusu-Kai member.

Shiki let out a loud huff then made a non-comital sound.

”It doesn't matter does it all that matters is that we give Orihara what he wants and we get that raging monster out of here what's wrong with him anyways......asides from the wounds he got from the fight”

The young man straightened as he realised the attention was back on him

”Its not my area of expertise but I believe he is going through some sort of delirious episode though I can't tell why” He mumbled out his answer and tried to get the words out as quickly and accurately as he could.

Shiki sat there and took in this new piece of information, what in the world would make someone like Heiwajima Shizuo have an episode....Hmm it seemed everyone did have their own issues.

”Interesting...”

”What was that Shiki-dono?”

Shiki just pointed to the doors.

”Nothing. You can leave now...Also if you breath a word of this outside this room, lets just say you won't be breathing for much long after”

The eyes of the prominent Awakusu-kai member bore deep into the young man.

”U-understood”

And then he left.

Shiki release a breath he didn't know he was holding then scratched his head.

”Ahh this is so much more trouble than it's worth That annoying informant owes me so much for this. But it might be worth a little if I can get him to stop rampaging around the city. Who would have guessed, it seems he cares more than he let on”

Interesting, very interesting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ao3~

Give me your opinion I hope you like it.

#durarara #izaya orihara #izaya x shizuo #izuo #nickynesh ideas #shizuo heiwajima #wip ideas #depressed shizuo #ideas #angsty