#definitely in calums voice too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starshipsofstarlord · 1 year

Text

Piece of Cake

Luke Hemmings x reader x Calum Hood

Summary Luke doesn’t think you like him, but oh does Calum know you do, and so he decides to interfere for both of your sakes

warnings = MDNI! includes smut, use of weed, blowjob, facial, slight angst, clitoral stimulation, exhibitionism

The last thing that you had ever expected whilst opening for 5sos during their post covid tour was for anything romantic or sexual to happen between you and one of the five members, of course that hadn't stopped you from dreaming lustful images, but never had you thought the opportunity would arise. That was until one evening when you were sat on the tour bus, Michael and Ashton had ventured off to spend time with their significant others, leaving you with the bassist and lead singer. You were sat on your bed, Luke and Calum were in the living space, you were rolling a blunt, licking the paper so that the contents would remain inside without quarrel without spilling out.

They were talking about music and other nonsense, whilse you were planning to get high, and you were rather glad that you hadn't even lit the blunt or taken the puff from it when you became the topic of their converse. Perhaps it was rude to listen in on their private conversation, especially when they had gifted you with a ride along on their tour to expand your own fan base, but it was impossible to help yourself. You were curious, that was all, and very intrigued.

“So about y/n?” There wasn’t much to the question that Calum was asking Luke, you could only imagine that the blond’s head perked up in as much confusion as your own was. “Are you going to make a move man, every time she’s up on that stage or she simply walks through the room you’re drooling more than your dog does.” Your head tilted in pivoted hope, however you weren’t going to make assumptions without a word being directly said to you… right? That would be absurd, especially considering within the spotlight that your career granted it was easy for rumours to be misinterpreted or spread throughout the media. However, this was the source that you were listening in on, and subjectively you chewed your own bottom lip as you awaited the response of the man whom was undergoing a friendly interrogation.

A long and drawn out sigh elevated from Luke’s lungs as he leant his curl rooted hair back, burning his eyes as he stared up at the ceiling lights that were built into the tour bus. “It’s not that I don’t want to man,” at least that was a comforting statement to feed your awaiting nerves, “but I feel like I have to remain professional. Not to mention, she probably isn’t interested in me anyways, have you seen how well her and Ash get along? If she were to want one of us, it definitely wouldn’t be me…” There was a seasoning of self sympathy behind his subjective words, of which formed a crack within your heart from hearing them. His undirected accusations were a harm to his own mind, inflicting his own doubts, and you could see how he could perceive your friendship with his band mate that way.

You and Ashton got along insanely well, he was the first one that calmed your nerves the first time that you were scheduled to perform before them. But the two of you were just friends and that was all. The entire conversation that you were intruding on with your hearing distracted you from the task that you were currently attempting to perform, and thus the joint that you had just glued together with the stick of your saliva escaped your grip as you fumbled and tumbled out of your bunk and onto the floor between the set of stacked beds. “Shit.” The curse spewed from your mouth as you instinctively reacted to the accidental slip of your fingers, and then your heart froze. You hadn’t wanted to make a noise, however now it was too late, and all you could do was hope that Calum and Luke had been oblivious to the sound of your voice.

“Y/n?” Calum cautiously enquired on your presence, the sound of his foot falls nearing closer and closer to your solitary destination, and instinctively you held your breath, not wanting to give your accidental agenda away to the bassist or the lead singer that had been discussing you and your status quo with each member. Softly the doll grey curtain of your bunk was pulled aside to reveal your embarrassed expression, Calum inquisitively staring down at you from the height of which he stood. A rosey warmth bruised the high points of your face as there was no doubt that your deposited hearing had been noticed, and so had the joint that you had configured. Cal plucked it up off the carpeted ground as he smirked at the circumstances that you were under, and thus with his sweet brown eyes he convinced you to crawl out of your bed, his large and tanned hand guiding you from the placement of your lower back.

He lead you into the entrance living space of the bus, where Luke was nervously planted, rubbing his painted fingernails gently along his bottom lip and diffusing his instinct to chew on them. With his cobalt eyes he sent harmless daggers towards you, his long legs taking up a length of space on the floor, the opposing limb folded over the knee of his other, his ankle tapping the air as he awaited for the tension to break. “Oh Luke, calm down mate, y/n overheard everything but don’t worry, I could see when she slipped down from her bed ho wet her pretty pink panties were. Isn’t that right sweetie?” Cal squeezed your ass which was facing him, the flirtatious notion making you jump in the oversized shirt you wore; he was embarrassing you in front of Luke, but the other man seemed shy to the appeal that was ongoing before his eyes. “Come on girl, tell Lukey that it was all for him. Tell him that he made you all wet, you could even show him how soaking your pussy is underneath that layer of cotton.”

A whine slithered out from your submissive throat, you felt vulnerable and the butt of the joke that Calum was telling, without the intention of a pun, but admittedly you were loving every second of it. But it wasn’t just Luke that had caused a sweet and slick river to flow between your legs, which was strange considering that he was the one that you liked. The way in which Calum degraded you before him though had you riled up, needy and desperate for someone to touch you, and it didn’t matter which one of them did it. “Y/n…” Luke spoke your name so delicately, there being a a quiet innocence behind his tone. Immediately your head snapped up to ogle at the man, an alert and doe eyed detriment reflecting in your hungry expression. You were all too focused on the blond so that you were late to notice how Cal veered closer to your sexually appealing form, his hand slipping upwards on the back of your thigh, rising up to the centre of all of your desires over the thin cotton that protected your vulnerability from seething eyes that intended to pry at your most intimate parts.

He continued his sly yet indiscreet movements until the pads of his thick fingers were callously prompting across your lightly clothed bundle of nerves, causing staggered breaths from leaving your mouth. It was difficult to focus on only the pleasurable feeling that Calum was making you feel, as Luke’s wide eyes were ogling at your glowing form, his pupils flickering from between your blushing face and where Calum was attending to tease the both of you. He was provoking his band mate, luring him into finally make a move, however he had yet to grow the courage to do so. Luke was in a conflict with his own mind and what his pants desired, he chewed stagnantly on his lip awaiting for the impulse to do something kick in. “Aw Y/N, did you hear him say your name sweetie?” The bassist teased you, withdrawing his hand from toying with you which made you whine from the extraction. He leant his mouth right by your ear, and whispered into it, “wouldn’t it sound better if he moaned it?” And you believed it, and you were even wetter from simply imagining it.

It was as though Calum were hypnotising you, and without your own will to do so, your feet fell in footsteps closer to where Luke was seated, and you succumbed to the cushions of your knees, staring up at the man that you lusted after as Calum stood as your shadow and brushed his fingers through your hair. The notion was a gentle one, until he gave it a harsh tug which hitched your throat back so that you were looking into his dark eyes. “I’ve made you feel good Y/N/N, now why don’t you do the same for our friend?” He was pushing you, convincing you to pleasure the god like adonis whose knees were resting against your collarbones, and you were easily sold. And thus you unbuckled his belt and loosened the tightness until you could slip the leather material out from the loops, feeding the teeth of his flyer to your hands. Without any haste you pulled the zip down, and tugged the tight denim from his upper legs, only to discover that he had opted to go commando that morning.

And by gosh you were enamoured with the sight that was in your face; he was erect and wantonly weeping from his tip for attention, and you weren’t going to deny his famine. And thus you engulfed the head of Luke’s large and veined cock into your mouth, greedily humming from the warmth of skin that filled your mouth. “Oh fuck Y/N!” Luke gasped, his mouth gaping open as he tried to ground his pleasure, and he tousled your hair in his hand. “Fuck, your mouth feels so good.” Each word that he spoke only gaged you to attempt to bring more of his length into your mouth, choking from your efforts. And you only choked more as you felt another pressure again on the back of your head, enforcing you to take more down your throat even though your survival instincts tried to reject the intrusion. “Such a good girl, making our Luke feel good. And you can always make him feel good now you know how he feels about you Y/N/N. This cock is yours to suck, this big fat cock that’s making your eyes water.”

Luke moaned simultaneously alongside you from Calum’s dirty words, the sound of your gagging and Luke’s light and vocalised moans being the distinct sound that filled the room in the tour bus. There was a tight feeling that was pulling from the insides of Luke’s balls, he was getting extremely close and he shocked the both of you when you unexpectedly pulled your lips away from his cock to get air, as ropes and ropes of his white seed decorated your face, the warmth of the liquid bringing you a sense of fulfilment and gratified euphoria. For a moment it felt like it was only you and Luke, taking turns to exhale heavily as you came to grips that this wasn’t just a dream, it was a reality. A hot, dirty and sweaty reality. However everything hit you when Calum released his hand from your head, his voice filling your ears intermittently. “Looking good Y/N. And my work here is done…’ Calum joked, metaphorically dusting off his hands from the gruel that he had to cause to finally bring both you an Luke together.

He slowly vacated the room with little words more to say, leaving you and Luke in your own comforting isolation. “So…?” Luke laughed with the emission from his lungs, stroking your hair away from his cum that still covered your face. “So…” He repeated back to you, a content and calm smile endorsing his features. “Do you want to maybe be my girlfriend? I’ve liked you for a long time, and I never had the guts to say something until, well, this.” You reciprocated his smile, tentatively nodding and forgetting all about the joint that you had been rolling, maybe you wouldn’t need it to feel at peace tonight, because Calum with his sexual interference had helped you come to it. “Okay, we can discuss the details of our first date after we get cleaned up. Fancy a shower?” He teased yet endorsed your interest, and soon the pair of you were off to the small and confined bathroom to get ‘cleaned up’ as boyfriend and girlfriend.

#luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings x reader #calum hood smut #calum hood x reader #5sos smut #luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings one shot #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings x you #calum hood x y/n #calum hood imagine #calum hood one shot #5sos fanfic #5sos x reader #5sos imagine #5sos one shot

605 notes · View notes

eitaababe · 1 year

Text

SOMEBODY ELSE !

— chapter 16. found out.

a/n — ooh boy

series masterlist. | previous / next

written portion below. —

it wasn't long after you sent the text that ao'nung showed up at your door, confusion clearly written across his face. his hair was messy, red pajama bottoms still worn, an old baseball tee covering his top.

you ignored his disheveled (and really attractive) appearance, remembering why you invited him over. you didn't bother inviting him inside, pissed at the idea that he would keep neteyam's apology from you. "who was at the door that night?"

ao'nung's eyes widened for a split second, before quickly recovering. "it wasn't any-"

"don't fucking lie to me!" you snapped, catching him off guard again. "tell me the truth, ao'nung."

he gulped, refusing to meet your eye. "neteyam was there," he paused, and for a moment you thought he wouldn't say anything else before he met your gaze, dropping his shoulders and rubbing a hand over his face. "he was there to apologize to you."

"why would you lie?" you sighed, exasperated, leaning against the doorway with your arms crossed.

"i don't really know, honestly," ao'nung admitted, his breath hitching for a moment. "i was jealous, i guess."

"you were jealous?" you questioned condescendingly, the boy cowering underneath your gaze. "you were jealous, so you figured you would just try and ruin a friendship between me and a guy i've known since i was 12?"

"he said those things about me, don't forget that!"

"i'm not taking that away from you!" you roared back, anger only rising when he raised his voice at you. "i get you're mad too, eywa, you have a right to be. he said shit about you, granted he chose to believe the wrong person, but he said it nevertheless. but you and me both know he did it out of caution for me, and i defended you anyways. i ignored him for over a week, only to find out just now he was trying to apologize this whole time just because you decided to keep it from me."

he was only quiet throughout your whole lecture, knowing you were right. ao'nung could've gave less of a shit about neteyam saying things about him, he just hated how close the two of you were, especially knowing how you felt about neteyam. he opened his mouth, knowing he was only digging a deeper hole for himself that he definitely wouldn't be able to drag himself out of, but you deserved nothing but the truth at this point. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry y/n. it's just- i was being irrational. i know how you felt about him, so i kept it from you hoping you'd just move on-"

"do you realize how fucking dumb that sounds?" you cut him off, steam practically blowing out of your ears. "feelings or not for neteyam, he's still my best friend. you don't get to decide shit for me," you argued, standing straight up now. "just get out of here ao'nung, before you make things worse."

you didn't give him a chance to reply before shutting the door on him.

FUN FACTS !

— tsireya heard what happened and is fully ready to kick her brother's ass

— kiri knew something was wrong, it wasn't like neteyam to go that long without apologizing

— neteyam fell out of his bed when y/n texted him

—

taglist #1 / closed ! @n7ytiri @ilovejakesullysdick @possysblog @love-chx @stars4deku @evphology @afro-hispwriter @ydsm-29 @tsireyasgf @goldeneywa @doulcha @krazy-kattzz @fucksnow @squid4 @blairrrrrr @neteyamforlife @dreamtogether2000 @444lyra @ambria @cawi00 @calums-betch @powowowy @fadingpalacebonkpsychic @elegantkidfansoul @kolsmikaelson @mirikusashes @yukichan67 @goodiesinthecloset21 @netemoon @teyums @littlethingsinlife @coconut-dreamz @anm3mi @jjkclub @il0veheartz @liyahsocorro @drugs-for-memes @zendayaswrld101 @grierpilots @misscaller06 @lightskinloak @mommyneytiri @inluvwithneteyam @halibanana @iheartamajiki @ipoopedmypants47 @neigesprincess @lookiiheh @ghostjoohoney @ronalsgirl

672 notes · View notes

eddiediazismyhusband · 10 days

Note

Hi Louis, are there any plot points/mentions on 9-1-1 that you wish were expanded further on the show (not just Buddie related)? For myself I'm still a little bitter they never mentioned all Buck did during the tsunami.

And when Buck and Eddie get married, what song do you think will be their first dance to? (I already made 3 playlists for them but Strangers by Maddie & Tae makes me go This is so them every time I listen to it. )

Thank you for making scrolling through the Buddie tag so much fun, Carly

ooohhhh im so gald you brought this up bc ive been dying to talk about it—

but in all seriousness i love this question!!

1. plot points i wish were expanded on more

i have a few but im only going to narrow it down to this one because it is something that has always kind if rubbed me the wrong way… but i really wish they could have spent more time exploring Hen’s relationship with her mom. I might be in the minority here, but to me the whole arc of Toni coming back into Hen’s life felt very quick and almost…. too simple? (not that it was simple at ALL but) As a queer person who has had a rocky relationship with my parents, it is always something i love to see portrayed in media more rather than just automatically jumping to the “supportive ally” trope as a way to make a story more feel-good if that makes sense. And i saw the bones for that in the storyline with Hen and Toni, but because of the state of the show at FOX that season i understand why they didn’t make it a bigger deal….. however i really wish they had!

(also i agree them never mentioning what buck did in the tsunami has always rubbed me the wrong way— i definitely feel like they all should have already gotten medals at this point for other rescues in the past so the fact that they only just now are getting them has annoyed me, but im just glad the firefam is getting recognition for something)

2. Buddie Wedding Song

I am kissing you on the forehead for this question bc i love love love love LOVE talking about stuff like this….

This isn’t for their first dance, but i have always loved the idea of Karen singing “At Last” during the ceremony (a la bones, which wasn’t what inspired it in my head but upon further inspection is actually really similar to what i would want their wedding to look like) bc i think the fact that we haven’t heard tracie thoms’ voice on the show yet is a CRIME.

As as far as a first dance song, i love the idea of them dancing to something softer— a couple that come to mind are Love Like This (Ben Rector) and Love Me Tender (Norah Jones). If they wanna cash in on the Adele hype now, i DEFINITELY wouldn’t be opposed to Make You Feel My Love (maybe even sung by Maddie so that we get JLH’s vocals again??). i also could see You Are The Reason (Calum Scott). If they wanted to go the taylor swift route, i could see You Are In Love, Enchanted, or even Daylight (which daylight would admittedly have me sobbing like a baby).

Also strangers by maddie & tae is SOOOOOO BUDDIE…. this wouldn’t be their first dance song, but Friends Don’t is such a quintessential Buddie song to me 👌👌👌

thank you for the ask, and your sweet note at the end! I really loved getting to answer this ask 💕💕

#911 abc #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #evan buckley #buddie 911 #buck and eddie #911 on abc #eddie diaz x evan buck buckley #eddie diaz x buck #eddie diaz x evan buckley #buck x eddie

28 notes · View notes

bratzforchris · 9 months

Note

hi! can you do autistic little!luke with a special interest with stuffed animals, with either cake or lashton? ((:

New Toys

❃

Summary: Above

Pairing: Caregiver!Calum x little!Luke

Warnings: None

Word Count: 962

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I adore agere and neurodivergent fics :')

❃

Luke woke up with a huge smile on his face, immediately bouncing softly on Calum to wake him up. “Daddy! It stuffie day! Wakes pease, Daddy!” he lisped out around his paci.

Calum opened his eyes slowly, seeing his little one grinning down at him, blond curls falling in his face. “Good morning, little one. Come cuddle with Daddy.” he mumbled sleepily, in a futile attempt to get Luke to go back to sleep for a while longer.

“Bu Daddy! It stuffie day!” Luke giggled happily. “No mowe seeps.”

The caregiver sat up, rubbing his eyes. He knew getting Luke to go back to sleep was impossible now. He was wide awake and ready for his favorite day of the month. You see, Calum and Luke had a system set up for when the blond was regressed. Calum had a big calendar dry erase board in the kitchen, with notes on the side for Luke’s chores. If Luke completed the month with less than three meltdowns and the rest of the time with gold stars, on the last Saturday of the month, Calum would take him to Build-a-Bear to get a new stuffie.

Hence why it was currently seven am on a Saturday and Luke was pulling at his shirt and bouncing on him. Calum smiled, rubbing Luke’s back as the little jumped out of bed and ran to his regression nursery, stooping to the dresser to pull out an outfit for the day.

“We have to have breakfast first, buddy.” Calum chuckled, watching Luke excitedly pull his shirt over his head.

Luke pouted, but followed Calum to the kitchen in nothing but his pull-up and his shirt with a stuffed giraffe on it. The little one hoisted himself up to the breakfast table, grinning happily when he saw that Calum was pouring his cereal into a bowl with stuffed animals on it. Being autistic, Luke had intense interest in the things he loved. One of, and perhaps his biggest,

special interests was stuffed animals. The blond collected them with such a passion it made Calum grin from ear-to-ear.

Luke munched on his cereal while Calum sipped on some black coffee, talking away. “I get Hawwoween kitty?” he asked Calum, cocking his head.

“Maybe!” the older male said.

That encouraged Luke to quickly finish his breakfast and do the chores his daddy had assigned him while Calum got ready. Thirty minutes and lots of giggles later, the duo was on their way. Luke sat in his “car seat”, happily stimming along to the song on the morning pop radio. The mall wasn’t normally open at this time, but Calum had made an arrangement for him and Luke to come in early to keep the sensitive regressor from prying eyes. It wasn’t hard considering he was

the Calum Hood, and all the employees absolutely adored little Luke. Most of them knew him by name and always made sure the new shipments were stocked fully before Luke came in.

The blond practically drug Calum through the empty mall, until they finally came to a familiar sign that Luke knew all too well. It was the yellow and blue sign of Build-a-Bear and the little eagerly pressed his face to the glass, waiting for an employee to open the door.

“We get stuffie, Daddy!” he said excitedly, flapping his hands and bouncing up and down on his tippy toes to stim.

Calum smiled and kissed Luke’s forehead, just as an employee came to unlock the door. It was Luke’s favorite employee, Miss Sarah. The woman absolutely adored Luke and always let him customize his toy as much as he wanted. Luke ran inside and over to the display shelf of stuffed animals.

“Hewe, Daddy!” he practically yelled. “Hawwoween kitty hewe!”

Luke definitely had a hard time controlling his voice when he was happy, and right now was no exception. But Sarah grabbed the fur skin for the stuffed animal with a smile, leading Luke over to the customization area.

“Daddy?” Luke asked, looking up at Calum.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“You put you voice in der?” Luke asked.

Luke had many Build-a-Bear stuffed animals that talked, but they were only the character voices. He had seen quite a few littles online with bears that had their caregiver’s voices recorded in the little box and the blond so desperately wanted one.

“Sure, buddy.” Calum smiled.

Calum spoke into the small box, telling Luke how much Daddy loved him and how handsome he was. The whole time, Luke had an enormous smile on his face. Sarah handed Lule the small heart that was to be inserted into the cat and Luke kissed it with his eyes closed, making a wish.

“I did good jobs, Daddy!” Luke grinned.

“That’s right, bubba! You did!” Calum told him.

Luke grinned and clung to Calum’s side as Sarah began to stuff the bear. As much as Luke loved Build-a-Bear, he was rather afraid of the stuffing part. The little one was so attached to his toys, he was afraid the animal would pop.

“Look, buddy!” Sarah said happily, handing the now-stuffed Halloween cat to Luke. “She’s all ready for you!”

Luke absolutely squealed, hugging the animal tightly to his chest. “Fanks you! I dwess hew?” he asked, hugging the toy to his chest.

“Of course, buddy.” Calum told him, ruffling his blond curls.

The blond picked out a sweet Halloween witch outfit for his new toy and Calum quickly paid.

“Say bye bye to Sarah, Luke.” the caregiver said.

“Bye bye!” Luke giggled sweetly.

As Calum and Luke left the mall, the older male couldn’t but think about how lucky he was to have Luke in his life as he watched his little one happily stim, hugging his new stuffie to his chest.

60 notes · View notes

littledrummeraussie · 2 years

Text

surprise! on tour.

all the things we dream about series | series masterlist / masterlist.

Word count: 2225 Warnings: poly!Cashton. on tour. surprise visit. heavy flirting. small bit of public teasing. clothes sharing. dirty talk. masturbation. creampie and cumplay. blink-and-you’ll-miss-it anal play & breath play. they are basically sharing the girl. soft cuddles and aftercare moments. the whole thing. Author’s note: hello yes, I’m back on my bullshit, have another go at poly!Cashton and reader having hot and heavy sex at the hotel room on tour after not seeing each other for weeks. inspired by the picture above.

Feedback is always appreciated! ❤️

want to be added to my taglist?

- - - - -

“Okay, okay, one more!” Ryan grinned at Ashton and Calum as they posed in front of him, showing off their instruments. “You look badass!”

“You also have a nice ass,” the comment came from somewhere behind them, and their heads whipped in that direction, disbelief and surprise crossing their features. “Both of you.”

“No way you’re here!” Ashton exclaimed, a wide smile making his face light up while Calum laughed as well, not being able to take his eyes off of you.

It took a lot of planning and some help from the crew, but you finally had the chance to surprise your boyfriends on tour for a few days. The secret was so well kept that even Michael and Luke didn’t know about it until that morning; you didn’t want them to somehow spill it for Ash and Cal before the time came. They pretended to be hurt, claiming they would never, but then a second later they both agreed that okay, maybe it happened before.

Ryan was texting you all day long, keeping an eye on the guys so he could find the perfect spot and moment to arrange the big meeting, which he also planned on capturing. Looking back later you just knew you all will cherish the moment he caught of them realizing you were there. It was pure luck that they did not see you sneaking up on them, but it was worth every reaction in the end when you finally got to compliment their pose and nice backsides.

“Come here you,” Ashton opened his arms and you wrapped yours around his waist, snuggling up to him as he kissed your temple. “You sneaky little ninja.”

“Missed you, asshole,” you giggled, tugging on the hem of his shirt before reaching for Calum, manoeuvring around his bass to get a hug from him too. “Missed you too, grandpa.”

“And she says I’m the asshole,” Ash snorted while Calum groaned, burying his face in your hair.

“Not you too,” Cal pinched your side, making you swat at him with a giggle. “You know you like it.”

“Maybe I could convince you to wear something else? I’m sure there are some hidden gems in your bag. And in yours too, sir,” you directed the last part at Ashton who furrowed his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong with this?” he looked down at himself and you rolled your eyes, tugging on his shirt again while you leaned into Calum, his hand on your waist, squeezing you.

“It’s the dirty wife beater,” you laughed. “Maybe I could take this off of you… once the show is over… and never give it back, huh?”

“This one will end in your closet as well, I can see it,” Calum started stirring you towards the stage while Ashton’s hand slipped into yours. “Say goodbye to it Ash.”

“Yes, say goodbye to it, because this one will definitely end up in my bag and come back to LA with me so you can finally put on something else that looks much better on you,” you groaned, already thinking up ways to get rid of the affronted item.

“It’s a shame,” Ash clicked his tongue, fingers tightening around yours as he pulled you to his chest again, Calum following, making you trapped between their bodies. “Would have loved to fuck you in the dirty wife beater,” a smirked tugged at the corner of his mouth, hips rolling against yours to emphasize his words.

“I’d rather wear your vest… with just some nice panties…” you kept your eyes on Ashton, voice dropping lower. “…and maybe one of Cal’s ties… what do you think?” your head leaned back against Calum’s shoulder, tongue quickly swiping over your bottom lip.

“Highly approved, baby,” it was his turn to rub against your ass, his desire for you clear under his baggy pants. “And you know… having you like this… might have given me an idea…” he pressed his lips against your cheek, exchanging a heated look with Ashton, and you were sure he already knew what had crossed your boyfriend’s mind.

You couldn’t wait for the show to finally end – and it hasn’t even started yet.

* * * * *

“Shit, that’s it baby, ride my dick!”

You whined as Calum entered you again, burying your face against his sweaty neck, his skin hot and smelling like sex and cologne, his hands grabbing your ass as he moved you up and down on his cock. Ashton’s vest was sticking to your back, drenched from the sweat on all of your bodies as you were sandwiched between your boyfriends, Calum’s body under yours while Ashton kneeled behind you, his hands roaming over your skin wherever he could reach you. Now you understood what Calum was referring to earlier when they hugged you between them before the concert, how he was already planning on having you like this once you were back in the hotel room.

Ashton’s fingers slipped under the sides of your panties to snap them against your skin, the sting making you hiss, teeth grazing Calum’s ear. He chuckled at your reaction, mumbling something about how good you feel against him, around him, how he missed having their girl all to themselves. Ash made an approving sound behind you, now moving his hands over your hips, thumbs digging into your flesh where the lace of your panties were stretched over you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you and Cal, how your body melted against his tanned skin, his tattooed arms holding you close while he worked his hips up and into you, cock buried into your pussy with every thrust.

His thumb dragged over the material of your panties again, nail slightly scratching the skin where it did not cover your ass, and he could see your pussy tightening around Calum’s dick, both of you groaning at the sensation. You were wet and pink and beautifully inviting, making Ashton wrap his hand back around himself as he fisted his cock, your wetness from before the switch making the slide easier. He breathed heavily, trying to hold back his pleasure as he rubbed the pad of his thumb against your pussy lip where you were stretched around Cal.

“You look fucking gorgeous,” his voice was low and husky, and that combined with the wet sounds as he jerked his cock you knew he was getting impatient.

You pressed a sloppy kiss against Calum’s jaw and he let you go at that, helping you sit up on his waist, and Ashton was there in a second, letting you lean against him as you still slightly rode Cal. Calum caressed your thighs while Ashton’s hands covered your tits under the opening of his vest, squeezing them teasingly. You panted as you finally slowed down to a stop, head resting on Ashton’s shoulder as you looked up at him.

“Thought you’re going to say ‘you look fucked, gorgeous’,” you giggled breathlessly, nipping at his jaw, and he pinched your nipples in reply.

“Well, you definitely look fucked,” his arm slid around your waist, lifting you off of Calum just enough to bend you back over him, quickly pushing his cock into you. “But not enough…” he added.

Calum grabbed the end of the tie hanging between your breasts to pull you closer, capturing your lips in a kiss as Ashton started pounding into you. You buried your fingers into his hair, holding onto him as you moaned into his mouth, his hands grabbing your waist where Ashton was holding onto you. You felt their hands tangle together on your body, both of them moving you up and down on Ash’s cock, the pace quick and hard, and you felt yourself trembling between them. Calum’s nipples dragged against yours, making something twist in your stomach, ready to snap and push you over the edge– and then Ashton quickly pulled out of you, making you clench around thin air as you felt your own wetness slide down your lips and thighs.

“No, no, please… please…” you started begging them, so close to your release, nails digging into Calum’s shoulders, lost in space and time as you couldn’t decide which way to move, where to push, who to ask for mercy.

It took only a second and you felt someone enter you again, strong hands on the back of your thighs as they kept you against their bodies. You soon realized it was Calum who finally took pity on you, quickly fucking up into you, cock filling your pussy perfectly with every thrust, lips mumbling messy, dirty words against your lips as he urged you to cum with him. You unconsciously squeezed around him, already too lost in the feeling to fight it anymore: the way his pelvis dragged against your clit, how he grabbed onto your ass, a fingertip teasing your puckered hole lightly – the moment your orgasm rushed over you you felt his chest rumble with a deep groan, cock pulsing inside you as he came, still working his hips against you to get the most of his own pleasure.

You heard a hissed ‘shit’ from behind you, your hazy mind picking up the wet sounds as Ashton kept himself on the edge, watching the two of you come together. Calum’s fingers tightened on your hips as he pulled out of you, helping you stay on your knees above him. He grabbed your ass again, pulling your cheeks apart and you felt yourself getting hot at the thought of how he was offering you up for your boyfriend, and you wiggled a little, letting him know you wanted it too.

Ashton muttered under his breath just like Calum a few minutes ago, words of ‘so hot’, ‘gorgeously fucked’ and ‘you like it messy, don’t you baby?’ filling your ears, and the only thing you were able to do was to whimper approvingly. You felt Ashton’s tip tease your clit, nudging it against your hole to catch the cum dripping out of you before rubbing it against the lace of your ruined panties, then in one slow, smooth thrust he was back inside you, cursing as your pussy wrapped around his cock.

“Come on baby, that’s it, give us one more,” he pulled out and pushed back into you, building up a pace you both like, one that always made you come quickly. “Do it sweetie, come on!”

Calum’s palm cradled your jaw as he pulled you in for a kiss, tongue massaging yours while his thumb dragged against your throat, just the slightest pressure on your neck. His other hand slid down your body, smoothing over your nipples and stomach before he pushed his fingers against your clit. He kept his fingers still, but that was still enough to push you over the edge – the way Ashton was pounding into you made your body jolt against Calum’s hand, the friction so perfect it made you see stars as you started cumming. Ash fucked you through your release, chest melting against your vest covered back before his body stiffened, teeth biting down on your neck as he finally reached his own orgasm. You felt his cum filling you up, hot and sticky and so so welcomed – it made you whine when he fucked into you a few more times and you felt him slip out of you.

You felt heavy and tired as your limbs gave out and you crashed against Calum’s chest who was readily waiting to catch you, holding your panting form closely, fitting your head under his chin. A second later a warm, wet cloth was running over your body, softly cleaning you up after your intense love making, and then Ashton joined you too, pulling you away from Cal until he could fit you between their bodies, legs and arms tangled together in a sweaty heap. You felt his forehead knock against yours, noses nuzzled together as he was finally able to kiss you, softly pressing his lips to yours, soothing and loving. Cal hummed happily behind you, his own lips on your ear and the back of your neck as he cuddled you, content in his own pleasure still buzzing through him.

“Missed you, sweets,” he mumbled, tugging on the blankets to pull them back around the three of you. “Thanks for the surprise.”

“Yeah, thanks for the surprise,” Ashton giggled quietly, voice full of excitement and love. “You have no idea how much we needed this. Needed you.”

“I can still feel it dripping out of me, just saying,” you whispered, trying to keep your own giggle at bay, but couldn’t help it anymore when you felt their fingers attack you, tickling your skin wherever they could reach you. “No, stop it!”

“Gonna need to bring you on tour with us from now on,” Calum sighed as his hand settled back around your waist. “You always have an attitude when we leave you alone for too long.”

“You just gotta fuck the attitude out of me again and again, huh?” you moved a little until you could push against both of them, a moan leaving your lips when you felt Ashton roll his hips into you again, his cock already hardening against your stomach.

“Don’t mind if we do, baby. Right, Cal?”

You felt the other boy groan, his own dick twitching against your ass.

“So fucking right.”

- - - - -

taglist.

@mymindwide @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @suchalonelysunflower @talkfastromance4 @ashtonsunflower @in-superbloom @perfectnouis @jbh-castaway @whywontashloveme @scvrllet @wiiildflowerrr @bebewheezy

#poly!cashton #poly!cashton x reader #ashton irwin x reader #calum hood x reader #cashton #ashton irwin smut #calum hood smut #fiction time #series: all the things #afic: all the things #i'll see myself out

470 notes · View notes

suekreandtheidiots · 2 months

Text

Teenage Squad

Any time I get into Hallie and Lance's teenage saga, it probably appears like it was only the two of them plus their friend Cal, but that wasn't at all the case - many others shaped their young lives and I actually have quite a bunch of their classmates on my mind with whom they 'ruled the school' together.

Some of them are these lads. This is just a noseless doodle but I still think they're cute. 😂 They are on their post graduation vacation here. Lance had plans to come with them but once it was certain that his pa would not survive the Summer of 2006, he dropped out and stayed home.

I mentioned Cal here and there already. His full name is Calum Hamish Fitzgibbons (*November 6th 1987) and he was a nice kid, actually. A teenager of his time, with the appropriate brush of occasional overconfidence, because he had the looks and the wit. A lot of his peers just looked up to him... literally, because at sixteen, Cal was already 6'4 ft tall (topped out at 6'7 ft). Cal wasn't bad, he was just spoiled. His parents are quite wealthy and he was used to getting whatever he wanted, without having to put in any effort. That being said, when he was pining for Hallie, he kinda just expected that she would see the light one day, but he never dared to make an actual move to win her over. Partly because he didn't see the necessity, and also because romantic feelings for a friend are an awkward thing sometimes. When she didn't just fall for him like he had hoped, and even picked his best friend over him during his absence, he was raging for several reasons. Being a bad person isn't one of them... but a male (teenage) ego is often a fragile one.

Mark McGrath (*February 7th 1987) had to repeat 8th grade and somehow started hanging out with the cool kids of the year. Mark was a cool, calm and collected fella, never as loud and obnoxious as others, but well, how do they say? Still waters run deep. Mark was the one to ask for "special favours", such as getting weed/speed/acid/whatnot. Mark knew everyone and everything. Mark was the guy one would call if they had to get rid of a body. Mark never judged. Mark just did what had to be done. Mark was... remarkable. There is not much else to say, actually... which is kinda due to the fact that not even his closer friends ever got to know him on a super deep level and just enjoyed hanging out with the easygoing guy he was.

Timothy "Tim" Irvine (*March 3rd 1988) was the good soul of the gang. Very outspoken, not shy to voice his opinions, but where others of the same age just blurted out with whatever came to their minds at the moment, Tim actually thought about what he said. True friend material, always eager to understand both sides in an argument and staying respectful, even when mad. Didn't love what Lance did behind Cal's back while they were away on vacation, but was very willing to cut his friend some slack. Was definitely not okay with the way Cal, Fozzy and Mark wanted to pay Lance back and had a little fall out with them as well. Last person of the former gang that Lance sent a message to ("I'm alright, thanks. Take care, mate!"), after the blow up, and before they all went their separate ways in late Summer 2006.

It's hard to sum up Lowell "Fozzy" Foster (* September 17th 1987) in just a few sentences... he was an experience. Not at all a bad kid either, but... well, let's just say that Fozzy's loyalty and integrity had limits, namely any time he sensed that there could be something in for him, when there was a lass he liked involved... or when doing the right thing was simply too much of a hassle. Aside from all this, Fozzy was a music freak, too, which is what always brought him and Lance back together, despite their quarrels. In the end, Fozzy enjoyed being with his friends most... even if he should've had looked up a thing or two about what friendship actually means, but well. They had all been young and dumb after all.

#idiot artwork #noseless doodle #mark mcgrath #tim irvine #cal fitzgibbons #lowell foster #the teenage saga

11 notes · View notes

theshyspy · 1 year

Text

bookstore au with ashton irwin - headcanon

Based on this request from the very talented @littledrummerangie,thank you for sending it in lovie🦋

He was a bookworm who loved the familiarity of the known. He didn’t even notice how everything was a routine: the way he went to the same cafe and browsed the menu but got the same coffee each time, before heading to the usual bookstore a few feet away.

Which was why Calum was so confused as he stopped outside a newly opened bookstore, his eyes fixed at you moving inside it. In no time he had pushed the door open and started browsing through the shelfs, waiting for you to ask if he needed any help.

He swore you had the voice of an angel as you moved towards him, smile on your face as you wondered if he needed anything. (He didn’t, but) shortly after you were recommending all sorts of books.

He was so quick to return the next day, claiming he forgot to get one of the pieces on his wishlist (something he definitely hadn’t). He was just hypnotized, adoring the way you strang your sentences together and how all your opinions was so reflected. He could listen to you talk about anything for hours.

Every other day he would come up with a new excuse and be back again, not that you minded. He was your favourite customer, always smiling and asking about your day. Once in a while he even brought you coffee (he swore the barista had made an extra on accident but it happened way too many times for it to be a coincidence)

You always looked forward to your meetings, but was getting impatient, kinda hoping he would ask you out.

He most definitely wanted to ask you out. But it had to be perfect, something you couldn’t say no to.

So when your favourite author came out with a new book, he figured it was his time to shine.

At the end of your shift, he was waiting patiently outside the door. A basket resting on his arm, filled with food you’d briefly mentioned you enjoyed. To say you were surprised was an understatement, but you followed with a smile plastered on your face as he said he knew the perfect reading spot.

And that’s how you ended up with your head in his lap, his fingers gently playing with your hair as you fell in love with both your new book and the man beside you.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin au #ashton irwin bookstore au #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin headcanon #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin 5SOS #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin x you #ashton irwin x yn #ashton irwin x reader #smitten kitten #calum hood

88 notes · View notes

allsassnoclass · 3 months

Note

Are there any good 5SOS friendship fics?

the answer is definitely yes! we have fantastic writers in this fandom, so there are great friendship fics here. i can compile a list based on previous times i've answered this question, but i haven't been reading much 5sos fic for the past year and friendship fics have never been my favorite type of fic.

to find friendship fics on ao3, search for any of the pairings with a & sign instead of a / (example: Michael Clifford & Luke Hemmings). You can filter out the romantic pairings by excluding pairings with a / on the filters bar. this is a great way to find friendship fics, especially because asking me is only going to get the fics i'm aware of in my small circle here on tumblr, whereas filtering on ao3 will help you find a whole lot more!

now on to my recs:

with open hearts and open eyes by @lifewasradical: rated G, ot4 friendship, 2k. very highly recommend this one i love it a lot

If he closes his eyes, Luke thinks he can almost believe that he’s 16 again, that they’re in Australia and they’re just starting out, thrumming with energy and excitement and glee that still lingers in their bones if they look hard enough. Some of that childlike wonder bleeds through the moment, Luke’s sure of it, as the others all turn onto their stomachs too. Their outlines are barely able to be seen through the darkness, but Luke would know the contours of the other guys even if he went blind.

If I Can Dream Long Enough by @4thbrighteststar: rated G, ot4 friendship, 2k.

Luke leans back, closes his eyes and lets the setting sun wash over his face, lets his fingers find a rhythm of their own. Third fret, fifth string. Tenth fret - his fingers hop up and down the guitar. Seventh fret. Fifth fret - no, keep the riff. He loses himself in it, until the wind and the birds and the distant, roaring cars fall silent in the face of the music he’s making by himself for the first time in eternity.

(An ode to making music in the toughest of times.)

am i broken (are you the saviour) by jbhmalum, rated T, malum friendship, 4k

He should do something. Maybe take a deep breath, in and out. Maybe turn on the bedside lamp. Maybe go lie down on the cold bathroom floor. Maybe bury himself under Calum’s covers and cuddle up to him; it probably wouldn’t even wake Calum, and Michael would get the comfort he needs.

Michael hears something he didn’t want to and has a hard time dealing with it.

dearly depressed and brokenhearted (i’d like to let you know that boys cry too) by @clumsyclifford: rated T, muke friendship, 2k

Michael returns. He’s wearing a jacket and a beanie and there’s a blanket from off their couch in his hands.

“Michael,” Luke says.

“Please,” Michael says. “I’m obviously not going to convince you to come inside, but I don’t want you to freeze.” He takes the steps, footsteps falling where Luke’s had, and comes close enough to Luke that when he offers up the blanket, Luke reaches out and takes it. “I know you don’t wear jackets,” Michael explains.

(It’s cold and rainy out. Luke goes for a walk.)

crack a smile, stay a while (am i holding for applause?) by @clumsyclifford: rated T, cashton friendship (but the other two are there as well), 1k

Glancing down at Ashton, Michael adds, “What’s with him?”

“He’s convinced he’s going to do terribly and publicly humiliate himself,” Calum says, rolling his eyes again for good measure.

“No, you’ll be great,” Michael says brightly. “Calum’s always saying how you’re the most talented person in his music whatever class.”

“Calum’s stupid and wrong,” floats Ashton’s voice from somewhere underneath the seat.

no love sincerer (than the love of food) by TempestRising: rated G, ot4 friendship, 4k

5 times One Direction fed 5 Seconds of Summer / 1 time One Direction needed feeding.

melancholy & honey by @igarbagecannoteven: rated G, malum friendship, 500 words, they’re bees (yes you read that right)

Michael’s only been resting there for a minute when he hears a familiar hum approaching him from behind. He doesn’t have to turn his head to know it’s Calum.

glitter by @igarbagecannoteven: rated G, cake friendship

Calum has no idea how Luke is able to infect all of their tour gear with glitter so completely.

below are a collection of friendship fics that I personally have not read, but I’ve read other works by the writers so I feel okay recommending them

Jess @daydadahlias has written so many friendship fics that I have heard great things about!!!

Torn Up (ot4 friendship, 8k)

Tailspin (cashton friendship, warning for alcohol/smoking, 5k)

Lightweight (ot4 friendship, warning for heavy alcohol, non-consensual kissing, 5k)

Tender (mashton friendship, 3k)

Superbloom (cashton friendship, warning for discussions of Skinny Skinny, 3k)

Movie Night (lashton friendship, 3k)

Shoebox (lashton friendship, 3k)

The Craft Club series (outside pov of ot4 friendship, but only Ashton appears in most of the installments. I've heard a lot of really fun things about this series, so while it isn't necessarily a heavy friendship focus I still recommend!)

from Bella @clumsyclifford

you should know i’ll be there for you (lashton friendship, 2k)

maybe this is just as good as it gets (cake friendship, 2k)

our best years are yet to come (thanks for choosing me) (cashton friendship, 1k)

from @lifewasradical

have my back (yeah, everyday) (malum friendship, 3k)

so much older (lashton friendship, 2k)

then if I may self-rec:

takeoff by me: rated G, mashton friendship, 1k

Sweater Weather by me: rated G, malum friendship or pre-slash, 1k

Tornado Warning by me: rated T, ot4 friendship, 2k

wedding vows by me: rated T, malum friendship, background roylum and mystal 5k

if anyone else has friendship fics they want to recommend feel free to add on!

#ask #anon #fic rec #yeah i haven't been reading 5sos fic for over a year really #and friendship fics were never my forte so i'm not sure why i keep getting this question #as this is the 4th time i've been asked for friendship fic recs???? and it's mostly always the same fics on my list because i don't really #read them #i really should get back into reading 5sos fic i have so many on my tbr list #i think i'm getting back into the mindset yknow. getting closer to that headspace #anyway hope this helps anon!

9 notes · View notes

let-the-bands-take-c0ntrol · 1 year

Text

12 Days of Holidays: Day 5

Calum HoodXFemale Reader

Warnings: pure fluff, winter weather, mentions of food, soft touches, rambling moments, first kisses

“What are you doing for New Year’s?” Calum questioned. His back was pressed up against one of the bookcases. A crunch followed right after his words and you looked over to see him munching on potato chips, a large bag that was usually shared with a family.

“Uh as far as I know, to my dad’s for a barbeque in the afternoon and that’s about it,” you said, placing one last book on the shelf and wheeling your cart to another section. Calum was hot on your heels, stuffing another chip into his mouth and once again taking a spot on the edge of a bookcase. “What are you doing?” you asked, face frowning at how chaotic the shelf looked. You sighed in annoyance as you grabbed the handful of books that didn’t belong in the section.

“I was invited to some party downtown, but. . .I thought maybe you and I could meet up at Cane’s Park and watch the firework show.” There was a tinge of hope in Calum’s voice and you understood where it was stemming from. It had been a week since your official first date with him. The two of you had been trying to plan for a second date, but since the holiday traffic was picking up neither of your schedules would align. Right now Calum was spending his lunch with you while you worked to get the bookstore ready for an author meet and greet. There was a definite shift in your dynamic now that your feelings were out in the open. For starters, Calum wasn’t hesitant about touching you more. He’d give you forehead kisses, squeeze your hip whenever he passed behind you, the hugs you two shared were longer too.

“You want to spend New Year’s together?” you asked. The dating part only just started, but you had practically been spending most of your days with him before the first date. Even went on a skiing trip with him and his friends, so you weren’t sure why Calum asking you to spend New Year’s Eve with him made you nervous.

“Yeah. Is that weird?” Calum thought for a moment. “Like I know we just started dating, but I thought it’d be a good second date. I could get some blankets, and snacks. We don’t even have to go all the way inside the park, we can just chill in the back of my truck and watch the fireworks from there.” He was starting to ramble.

“Calum-”

“Or we can wait until after the new year for our second date,” he continued on.

“Cal!” the volume of your voice raised higher, but he was too wrapped in his rambling to hear. You rolled your eyes, setting the books down and grabbing Calum by his cheeks to pull him in for a kiss to shut him up. It took Calum a second to realize that your lips were on his, frozen in his spot for a second before kissing you back. The hand that was holding up his bag of chips lowered. After a few seconds you pulled away.

“Y-You kissed me?” he blurted seemingly perplexed.

“I did,” you laughed, “I had to shut you up somehow.”

“That was our first kiss,” Calum said this time. You chuckled again and went back to reshelving.

“It was,” you replied, finally turning to face him. Calum still seemed a bit shell-shocked, his fingers going up to touch his lips where yours were just pressed. Calum wanted to kiss you again, and he glanced over to see you had been watching him. His cheeks felt heated at being caught and he cleared his throat.

“Can I kiss you again?” Calum timidly asked, taking a step closer to you. You smirked at his words, lifting on your tippy toes to reach his height again. Calum smiled down at you, his hand grabbing at your waist this time to pull you closer even more. His head dipped, but you weaved your head so that your lips were near his ear.

“You can get another kiss on New Year’s Eve,” you whispered, pulling away from him and receiving a groan in return. Calum licked his lips and he gave you a playful glare in return. He wasn’t opposed to waiting another day or so, but he had wished the kiss you just had lasted longer for him to at least think about it until you kissed again.

“Fine, New Year’s. It's a date," Calum smiled, pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head.

55 notes · View notes

getsojaded · 1 year

Text

downtown lovers i — it won’t always be like this || calum hood

a/n: ok so. i originally wrote this out of my ass while listening to inhaler (shout-out inhalersos fans) and as i kept writing i decided to make this like an open series where i just write abt little downtown adventures and honestly i don’t know how this is gonna play out LMFAO cause it’s like not exactly a series but at the same time it kind of is??? like those stand alone books that you don’t have to read in order to understand but you still can for the experience???? dude idk what im saying anymore just roll w it i hope u guys like it

—

the cool, evening breeze of downtown seattle brushed against melanie's legs as she stood in the queue of the music venue alongside many others, waiting until the doors opened for the band that would be performing that night, inhaler.

she switched between scrolling through different apps on her phone and eavesdropping on various conversations made by people surrounding her, hearing "i'm so excited to see josh jenkinson!" one too many times, trying to find ways to make the time pass a little bit faster.

this was her first concert that she'd be attending alone, and needless to say, the social anxiety was catching up to her. she'd been so used to having at least one friend accompany her to the hundreds of concerts she'd gone to, and she was under the impression that she wouldn't be attending this one alone...

until her friend cancelled last minute on her. which, was bummed her out an extreme amount.

however, the show was the next day and she absolutely did not want to scramble around on twitter and instagram, trying to find people who would want to buy her ticket last minute. so here she was, standing alone in a crowd of grouped-together people. and god, was she feeling anxious.

lost in her own intrusive thoughts, she even failed to realize that the man lining up behind here in the queue was alone as well.

she turned to her side, leaning her back against the brick wall of the venue and closing her eyes, taking a deep sigh as an attempt to calm herself down.

"hey, you okay?" a deep, accent-laced voice filled her ears. her eyes opened and she looked to her left side, making eye contact with a tall, tan skinned man. her eyes quickly scanned him, immediately noticing how fucking attractive he was. dark, curly hair that was on the verge of forming a mullet, a black supreme tee-shirt that exposed his multiple tattoos on his arms and accentuated his muscles, straight black leg dress pants and black docs. with a leather jacket in one hand, his phone and an unlit cigarette in the other.

god, he was hot. really fucking hot.

"oh yeah, i'm alright. just getting tired, 's all," she responds, trying to sound as collected as possible. "you're lookin' a little stressed there, love." he responds, assuming that the rosy shade appearing on her cheeks was from the cold air and not the use of his pet name, to which that assumption was flat out wrong.

"i'm okay. was just a bad choice of footwear for a concert. did it to myself," she fibs, letting out a light laugh as he takes notice of her black boots, then analyzing the rest of her outfit. a basic, black silk dress that was underneath an oversized leather jacket. "at least you look beautiful," he tells her. "you here alone?"

"thank you," she sheepishly smiles up at him. "yeah, i'm here alone, my first one, too."

"ahh, that's why you're lookin' so shaken up." he replies, letting out a light laugh. "don't worry, going to these by yourself are a piece of cake. definitely needs some getting used to, but afterwards it feels like nothin'." he reassures her, reaching in his jacket pocket for a lighter. "what's your name?"

"my name is melanie, and yours?"

"beautiful name for a beautiful girl. i'm calum."

"pretty name for a pretty boy. by the way, are you always this flirty?" she asks him, resulting in light chuckles from the both of them. "no, not always. only when pretty girls are lined up alone in front of me for inhaler." he says, melanie rolling her eyes and smiling in response.

"well, calum, i'm not lining up alone anymore. i'm lining up with you, now." she states, a big grin appearing on calum's face afterwards. "glad to be waiting with you."

they're standing in line for a little over 45 minutes, the conversation flowing exceptionally easily as they got to know each other. melanie's found out that he had also been in a band for a brief amount of time when he was younger, ultimately deciding to part ways but staying best friends with his bandmates. calum found out that melanie had just moved to the city as a result of a new job opportunity, originally living on the east coast just a few months before. with all the free time on calum's hands, he decided to spend some time in the city, having always admired how beautiful it is, yet never having enough time to adventure around it while he was around on tour.

"you're gonna have to play me some songs of yours, wanna compare you to bobby now," she jokes around at that last bit, referring to inhaler's bassist, robert keating, after finding out that calum was the bassist in his band as well. "i'd rock his shit, just saying." he responds, melanie laughing at his sudden defensiveness.

more giggles and continuing of conversations let the time pass by so much quicker than melanie had felt that they did before, and the next thing you know, the pair were standing beside each other while the general admission crowd were waiting for the anticipated band to come out.

despite choosing comfort and deciding not to camp out for long hours outside of the venue for the show, they had still made it to the second row on bobby's side of the stage. "looks like i'll be comparing you two for the entirety of the show," melanie giggles, calum nudging her slightly in response to her joke, "shut up. i'm showing you our songs the minute we get out of this place."

next thing you know, the lights dim and the four band members appear on stage, instruments, opening the show with it won't always be like this. the crowd roars and cheers, singing along to the band in front of them, hands waving around and feet jumping in all sorts of directions.

though melanie has some extra height with her uncomfortable leather boots on, her petite hight is on her bad side today, coming to the realization that she can't see very much due to the tall people standing in front of her.

halfway during the second song, calum takes notice of the way she's attempting to crane her neck up, still having a smile on her face as she enjoys the show. he breaks the touch barrier between them, softly grabbing her by the waist. melanie jumps slightly at the initial touch, but then loosens up at the realization of calum gesturing her to stand in front of him so that she could see better. it would benefit her anyways, and since cal was at least a foot taller than her, it wouldn't affect him that much – at all, really.

calum’s hands don’t leave melanie’s sides for the entirety of the concert. and as they’re exiting the venue and walking down the crowded streets at midnight, his arm is still wrapped around her as they stroll together.

“you know, you made this concert a lot more enjoyable,” she says softly, smiling up at the tall man beside her. “glad to hear. the exact same goes for you as well.” calum responds. “are you doing anything now?”

“if i would, i still wouldn’t be walking with you to no destination in particular,” she giggles, turning to him and stopping them from walking. “why? what did you have in mind?”

“i’m not entirely sure if this is too forward considering we met maybe 3 hours ago,” he starts, grinning. “but i’d love to get to know you better. preferably not in a concert queue. if you were willing to, would you wanna grab a drink or two with me?”

“hmmm, i’m gonna have to think about it,” melanie puts her hand on her chin, walking away from a calum with his jaw to the ground, laughing as he chases after her.

once he’s within reach of her shoulders, he turns her around, big smiles planted on both their faces.

“yes calum. i’d love to spend more time with you.”

#5 seconds of summer #5sos imagine #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagine #calum hood #calum hood imagine #luke hemmings #michael clifford #michael clifford imagine #5sos #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #calum hood smut

90 notes · View notes

writteninthesewalls28 · 5 months

Text

Family

A story about a girl wanting to find out the truth

A/n: Tenth chapter!!

Warnings: hospital, mentions of death, panic attack, curse words

Harry's POV:

The night I came home from the studio, recording a new song and found Louis passed out on the sofa, I'll probably never forget.

"Louis? You home yet?" I asked right when I entered our big flat in the center of London. Silly question. He sent me a message when he got home 5 hours ago, I just was too busy checking the stupid phone lying in my hand right now. I quickly scanned the short text he sent me, informing me, he had a bad day. Family’s not doing good, all very sad about Fiz, still. Of course I understood that, it just has been about 4 month since she passed, but I worried about my husband so bad, no one would ever understand.

He needed rest. As much as I admired him his caring personality trait I also noticed he was at the limit, standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump. It was like he was just waiting for the right moment.

Something happening to Milly would be a great opportunity for example in his eyes. I knew he waited for that. And I also knew how bad he felt about the words he threw at her on the phone. Both of them just had too big of an ego to just call the other, or are too scared.

However, that night, I actually thought this was the point where he jumped off that cliff. He'd never come back again and cheer me up when I felt down.

When I entered the living room, I only saw his feet dangling on the edge of the sofa.

"Hello Darling, you good?" I asked, while walking around the sofa, but when I looked in his face, I saw a pale, little man. Eyes closed.

Oh my god. Was he asleep?

I started to panic, my heart definitely stopped beating for a second.

"Shit!" I called out. Checking his pulse, I started dialing Liam's phone number.

"Please answer." I prayed. Liam maybe was my last hope. He himself had a big problem with randomly passing out due to too much pressure back in the 1D days, and a very close relationship with Louis, he'd knew what to do.

"Hey, what’s up?" I sighed so loudly hearing his voice.

"Thank god! Thank freaking god, you answered!" I breathed out.

"Harry, what is going on? Is Louis okay?" His voice got from nice-to-hear-from-you to what-the-hell-is-going-on.

"No, that’s why I'm calling!", shit, tears started messing up my sight. "I just got home and found him passed out on the sofa, I have no idea what happened, but he’s extremely pale and I can’t find his stupid pulse! Please help me, I don’t know what to do!" I never was THAT freaked out before. But, you know, I never found myself in a situation like this.

"Shit!", he mumbled under his breath ," continue trying to find his pulse. I'm on my way." He told me, sounding rather stressed himself. "Oh, and Harry? Please don’t freak out that bad, okay? Louis needs you now!"

With that, he hang up, leaving me alone with my tears and my husband.

Milly’s POV:

I stood in front of a door in the neighborhood where my parents lived, when I got the call.

Yes, I tried talking to neighbors, hoping they could possibly tell me something about them.

My phone ringing made me stop in my actions. The last time at this place, I ignored it and it had bad consequences, at least for me and my brothers relationship.

'Calum 💖' was the caller-ID. What the heck is going on now? He knew where I was, why would he try calling me?

I answered anyways.

"Hello sweetie." I greeted him, confused what he could possibly want to tell me now.

"Okay, are you sitting?" His voice gave me goosebumps. He never sounds this serious, it scares me.

“No, I’m obviously standing! Calum, what is going on, you know I'm busy here!" I actually got a little angry there, was he trying to prank me? If so, he totally succeeded, I made up stupid possibilities what could’ve happened in the 2 hours I have been away now.

"Seriously, please sit down, I'm scared you’re gonna faint.“

I rolled my eyes, but followed his advice. "Fine…"

"You have to be really strong for me, okay?", I got more and more impatient, hoping this isn’t a joke, "Louis is in the hospital, he passed out yesterday."

I breathed uneven. No, no, NO!!

"What?“ I breathed, stumbling back to my car, away from the doorstep.

"Harry found him last night and called a few minutes ago, I said, I'd call you myself because I wanted to be with you and see how you take the information."

I shook my head, completely in disbelief. I felt so bad. What if he dies now and the last thing I remember about him was that stupid fight?

"Please don’t feel too bad, I spoke to Niall too. He said, you should still talk to the neighbors."

I wanted to protest. There is no way, I am still doing this, my big bro is in the hospital. But he didn’t let me talk.

"This is important for you sweetie. Louis would’ve wanted that you followed your dreams.", He took a deep breath, " and besides, here in Adelaide, you can’t help him anyways-" now I didn’t let him finish

"No, I‘m coming home!" And hang up the phone.

Without hesitating I started the engine and drove home, in my head already booking a flight to London.

What is the fastest way to get to him?

Arriving at home, parking my car, I put together a whole ass plan, what to do next and how to get to Louis the fastest.

However, Calum crossed these plans by pulling me in a very sweet and kiss right when I opened the huge front door. It felt like, every single muscle in my body suddenly relaxed. When he let go of me, he briefly touched my shoulders and gave me a soft smile.

Calum, being a lot taller than me, leaned down and whispered into my ear: "I know, you want to get to him as fast as you can, I would want that too if it’s my sister, but don’t forget to relax, okay sweetie? This stress is not healthy."

See why I love this man? He’s too perfect to even exist.

"Don’t worry, I'll try to calm down a little…" I responded, leaning my head against his strong chest.

"Let’s go, I'll help you book flight tickets to London." He said, while stroking through my long blonde hair.

"Calum?" I knew, I'd probably surprise him with my next question, but I just wasn’t sure, if I wanted to do this alone.

"Yes sweetie?"

"Can you come with me to London?" I haven’t met my family for 1 whole year and even though I loved my sisters, I haven’t seen them after Fizz‘ death… I'm still really mad at myself that I didn’t have the courage to go to the funeral, but I just wasn’t mentally stable enough to go there. Especially because I would’ve had to do it alone. Calum had been on tour with his bandmates at that time.

I notice how Calum froze in his motion for a split of a second when I dropped the question, but immediately continued playing with strands of my hair like he used to do it when I felt homesick in Australia, right when we were little teenagers.

"Of course I'll come with you if you want that, I can write songs everywhere."

Calum’s POV:

One thing that freaked him out were planes. That must sound weird if someone hears that and knows he’s a musician and is meant to tour, fly and perform, but still. He was absolutely terrified of planes. He had a strong ritual whenever he and the boys had to fly to the next destination, in order to perform in a different city: eat his favorite snack (anything with white chocolate, literally anything), call Milly, talk to Ashton about the sights of the new city.

All that immensely helped him get over his fear more and more, but this time, he won’t be able to eat chocolate or talk to Milly, considering their brief time they had to get to the airport, hop on the plane, get to the hospital and talk to Louis. All that in less than a day and a half. He knew, that sounded like much time for someone living in Spain getting to London, but a flight to London from Adelaide, took one whole day.

Yeah.

Now think again, if this really was such a good idea from his girlfriend.

But anyways, he‘d jump off the stupid plane for her, so he'll survive a little fun trip with her, right?

——————————————-

Arriving in London, he didn’t even have the time to calm Milly down, even though he basically saw a completely different person than the one he knew he loved unconditionally. All she thought about, was call Harry, open Google Maps, find hospital, find Tube stations.

And Calum had to follow.

Milly walked right in front of him, her hair falling over her shoulders, right into her face, covering her eyes. She hectically tried pushing her beautiful blonde strands of hair out of her face so she could focus on her phone to find the right Tube stations, but her hair didn’t let her. Calum took that as a silent sign to go up to her and take her hair in his hands and put it back behind her shoulders.

But he didn’t let go of her immediately.

He knew, she promised him, she will remember his words and relax some time. Thing is, this woman in front of him, didn’t look relaxed.

"Baby, look at me." He said, causing Milly to quickly turn around, eyes still focused on the phone.

"Hey!” He called her out.

She didn’t notice.

He slowly laid his finger under her chin and pushed it up, so her eyes could meet his.

"Milly, you heard Harry, there is no need to rush. Louis is stable, but sleeping. You can’t help him and you don’t have to." He said, hoping the words actually reached her.

"I still want to get to him as fast as possible, don’t you understand?"

Was that anger in her voice?

He didn’t even recognized her anymore.

"How about I help you with this?" If she doesn’t listen to him this way, he simply had to change his strategy and help her get to Louis faster.

"Yeah." She responded, breathing heavily.

————————————

"Hello, we would like to know where we have to go to find Louis Tomlinson, he’s a patient in this hospital." He asked the woman at the reception desk. They finally reached the hospital.

Thank god.

"Yeah, that’s room 321. Just take the lift and you're nearly there." The kind woman answered, gaze focused on Milly, as if even she could see her discomfort in this place. "Is everything alright, Miss? Do you need anything?" She asked her, but Milly just shook her head.

“Don’t worry, she’s here with me. She just wants to see her brother really bad." She just nodded and Calum started walking towards the elevator, Milly immediately following him.

"Where do we have to go?" Milly asked him.

"Um, just take the elevator to the third floor I think…." He said, already stepping into the elevator.

Only a few seconds later, it seemed to be a very modern elevator, they already were on the third floor and started walking toward room 321.

Milly’s POV:

Now, I'll finally see him, I can apologize and everything will go back to normal and this heavy feeling on my chest will go away too.

I hate hospitals. They always make me think of mum. Right when I enter one, I remember the time where the doctor called me to tell me, she died. And then, all the memories from her come up and I can’t help it, but end up in some kind of space, where everything just screams mum.

But right now, I have to be there for Louis and apologize for my behavior on the phone 3 weeks ago.

"Here it is." Calum said, and wrapped one arm around my waist. He doesn’t know about my fear of hospitals, I simply never told him because that exactly would bring up the memories again.

We stopped in front of a white door and Calum knocked before pushing the door open. He stepped in first, grabbing my hand and didn’t let go, even when I entered the room.

But how glad I was, that he was holding my hand.

Louis, lying there- it caused me to breath uncontrollably.

My mind swapped Louis face with mums face and I re-lived the moment when I saw her dead body there.

The doctor just stood next to me, not knowing what to do with a young woman, crying next to her dead mother. No one else from my family was there, they all were informed, but didn’t see the messages on their phone yet.

I was alone.

And at my breaking point.

Right in this moment, I promised myself to never enter a hospital again, if I don’t necessarily have to.

But here I am, staring at Louis, tears streaming down my face.

I didn’t even notice Harry sitting next to him, until he said: "The doctor just said, that he can go home tomorrow." But did I really understand what these words mean? That he was going to be okay?

No.

Definitely not.

My body was too focused on starting to shake and make my knees go weak. I couldn’t have hold myself up any longer if Calum didn’t immediately noticed what was going on and caught me in the exact moment my knees decided to stop working.

"Hey, hey, hey!" The worried tone in his voice did not reach me.

He will

End up Okay

You have to apologize

Everything in me wanted to get up and go up to Louis and talk to my brother, but my body wouldn’t let me. It felt like I was having a heart attack. I was scared of losing the control over myself and just- do something that I'd regret later.

The stabbing pain in my chest that had been there since we stepped into the hospital grew and grew, till I just couldn’t hold it anymore.

"It hurts, it hurts" I struggled getting the words out of my mouth since breathing still felt very difficult.

Calum, in whose arms I laid for the last minutes, seconds, hours? I completely lost track of time, sat down on a chair, holding me in his arms.

"You’re safe. I'm here." I heard him talking, but I wasn’t able to understand the words he said. "What hurts baby? Can I help you?" I started understanding his words better and better, but the chest pain and my uncontrolled breathing wouldn’t let me answer his question.

"It’s okay, It’s okay. It’s all okay." He repeated over and over again, like a Mantra.

"It hurts, Calum…" I whispered, not sure if he even heard the quiet sentence coming out of my mouth.

But of course he did, he always did.

"I know sweetie, I'll be here for you. You'll get through this." And what if I don’t? I wanted to say, but surely wasn’t able to. What if I won’t end up being okay? What if this pain will never leave me? And what if Louis leaves me instead?

"Hey, hey! You are not getting up."

I didn’t even notice that I tried getting out of Calum's grip.

"But- I… want…" to see Louis and tell him how much he means to me. Yeah.

Like I did it with my best friend. Thankfully I got the chance to say goodbye to her the day before she left her family and me alone. I told her how much she means to me, that I'll always remember her. And I held my promise. I never forgot about the dances in the rain, the music we listened to, the make-up we stole from her mom and tried on, the movies we watched while eating tons of Oreos. Because of her, I love these biscuits so much, they are my reminder of her. Whenever I eat one, I hear her soft laugh echoing in the back of my head and close my eyes to see her in front of my inner eye.

"Relax darling, you have to breathe." Calum crossed my thoughts and helped me concentrate on my breathing, in order to fix it. Fix me.

And my relationship to Louis will be fixed too. It has to.

"That’s good, you are doing amazing Milly." The chest pain didn’t leave me, but at least I stopped shaking and could try to talk again.

"Here you go." Someone handed me a glass of water, but I couldn’t see who the person was, I was too focused on taking small sips of water. The feeling of the liquid running down my throat was truly the best thing after a panic attack.

Calum’s POV:

Everyone always underestimates how difficult it is to help someone through a panic attack and be there for them.

He himself struggled with seeing his girlfriend so scared and simply out of her mind, in a way no one would understand unless they’re in a same situation.

Now, Milly was peacefully sleeping on his lap after finally calming down. Of course he didn’t knew what triggered her anxiety like this, so that she freaked out after 2 years of no-anxiety-or-panic-attacks.

Milly never told him, when or why this started, but he secretly thinks that the first ever situation that he was with her had been her first time too.

Maybe he will confront her about her attacks someday, but very early in their relationship, he figured it’s a very sensitive topic for her, something she clearly doesn’t like to talk about.

"Is she going to be okay?" A voice very near to Calum asked, scaring him a little.

"God, Harry! You’re scary!" He called out. Louis boyfriend stood next to Calum and looked down at Calum’s hand slowly stroking over Milly’s beautiful blonde hair. "But to answer your question: Yes, she'll be okay. These attacks haven’t happened in the last years… but something triggered her here."

Suddenly he felt Harry’s huge hand on his shoulder. "I know that Louis misses his sister and you probably know how much Milly misses Louis. Let’s make sure these two slightly arrogant people apologize properly, alright?" Calum made sure to laugh as silent as possible, not wanting to wake Milly up.

"Sounds like a good plan." He said, confirming Harry’s plan.

#maddys fanfic

5 notes · View notes

5sosfanfictioncatalogue · 2 months

Text

5SOS Protective Over Luke Masterlist

baby i'm gonna drink you in like oxygen (ao3) - booksteaandcake luke/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: bad boy ashton has taken young luke hemmings under his wing. it's kind of a surprise when they sleep together… but also not a surprise at all.

'“I’m not wrecking you.” Ashton scoffed, “I’m going to take care of you.”'

Before It's All Too Much. (ao3) - alxclightwood michael/luke, calum/ashton G, 3k

Summary: "Luke, what's wrong?" he heard, getting quieter as the room began to spin and darkness clouded his vision, his body finally allowing him to succumb to the relief of unconsciousness.

AKA Luke likes to be dramatic when he's ill.

“You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

Can't Keep This Beating Heart at Bay (ao3) - ShortIsNotFun luke/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: Ashton's heart broke a little hearing the younger's voice absolutely wrecked from all his tears. "I'll come over, yeah? We can cuddle and eat lots of ice cream and talk. Does that sound good, sweetheart?"

Luke gets dumped and Ashton is always there to pick up the pieces of his broken heart

floating then drowning (ao3) - lovelymuke michael/luke T, 9k

Summary: As Luke stands over the bathroom sink and swallows one of the pills, he knows that this is it. There's no turning back after this. As long as he can make the bottles of pills he has stashed in the bottom of his suitcase last until the end of the promo run he’ll be fine. So he doesn’t worry. Instead, he just knocks back the second pill and walks out of the bathroom to his waiting boyfriend. He’s going to prove that he’s still worthy of being in the band, that he can hold himself together.

If he needs medication to do that, no one needs to know.

If Walls Could Talk (ao3) - boomerluke luke/ashton, ashton/ofc M, 43k

Summary: The last thing Ashton ever wanted to do was hurt Luke, but he couldn't help it. The singer was just so beautiful, so ethereal and otherworldly that it took his breath away most of the time. Everyone felt that way about their best friend though, right? It was normal. No use getting unnecessary feelings involved, it was better this way. Luke understood.

Luke wasn't sure when this thing between him and Ashton started, or how it started, but it didn't matter. He was in too deep to go back now. So Luke would let Ashton use him, hurt his feelings and crawl back with apologies. Because at the end of the day, even when Luke had to watch Ashton leave the bar with a new pretty blonde each night, he knew the drummer would eventually end up back in his bed. And Luke told himself he was okay with that.

I'm Begging You to Be My Safety (ao3) - kayehmwhy luke/ashton G, 1k

Summary: “I don’t really tell anyone unless I have to,” the younger said staring at the floor. “It’s not something i’m proud of.”

Or // Luke's emetophobic, Calum's airsick, Ashton's trying to help and Michael's asleep.

I'm Just Feeling Kinda Broken (ao3) - mlstyles257 ot4 N/R, 9k

Summary: “Is he okay?” Michael asks as he and Calum rush to where Ashton is cradling Luke on their dressing room sofa. Luke is definitely distraught, he’s hiding his face in Ashton’s tee, wailing and hiccuping on sobs. “I don’t know.” Ashton is trying to keep his voice calm, hushing and rocking Luke as the boy cries. “I didn’t even see him fall.” He presses a string of gentle kisses to Luke’s forehead, whispering reassurances as he goes. ... “Guys I don’t know what to do, he’s obviously in pain but I don’t think we can keep him up long enough to get checked out.”

aka Luke gets hurt during one of their shows and struggles with his little headspace.

makeup isn't just for girls - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) ot4 T, 3k

Summary: During Quarantine, Luke takes up nail painting as a hobby. Eventually, he adds makeup too. When he's with the boys again for tour, he comes clean about his new hobbies. Unfortunately, not all of his boyfriends are supportive.

Protector (ao3) - starstruk97 luke/ashton M, 4k

Summary: There are certain rules that come with being the eldest of your group of friends, the number one rule being: Always protect your younger friends.

" From then on, Luke joined the group, and I had someone to protect and look after. Someone to teach and guide. A baby ‘brother’. And it was my favourite thing in the world. Still is. I don’t care how many fist fights, detentions, suspensions and groundings I have received for standing up for him, I don’t and never will regret any of them because each one of them saved my little bro some kind of pain. "

taking a stand - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 1k

Summary: Luke encounters a rude alpha during a radio interview, and takes a stand for himself. The boys back him. The day ends with pack cuddles.

The Games We Play (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance luke/calum, michael/mali E, 30k

Summary: Michael has always warned his friends to keep away from his boyish little sister, Lucy (Luke). But what happens when Lucy secretly allowed Calum to get a little too close to her? Will something blossom between them? Was it Love or simply Lust?

the kids will be alright, eventually (ao3) - wafflelashton luke/ashton, ashton/ofc T, 45k

Summary: ashton falls in love with his best friend, luke, and is somehow the last to know.

the situation is like a mountain that's been weighing on my conscience - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 2k

Summary: Luke is closeted and nobody outside of the band, and close family, knows that he has a secret husband. During promo for Youngblood, Luke suffers a panic attack when the interviewer asks a personal question. Cue, Ashton to the rescue and comfort.

This calls for a band cuddle (ao3) - Bubballoo G, 1k

Summary: Luke doesn't feel well and crawls into Michael's bed. The solution? A band cuddle.

this is everything i didn't say - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) michael/luke, calum/ashton T, 6k

Summary: Luke's home life has never been great, with an abusive and homophobic father. Calum is the only good consistent thing in his life, with Calum being Luke's best friend. One day, Calum suggests that Luke meets some new people to hang out with. Luke is hesitant, but then he meets a red head named Michael Clifford, and everything changes.

you gave me hope, i gave you my life (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke, calum/ashton M, 15k

Summary: The boy's left side of his face badly bruised, and his lip was busted and bleeding. His feathery blonde hair was stained with red, which Michael assumed was blood.

"Don't take me back," The boy sobbed. "I tried to run. P—Please, help m—me!" And he clutched Michael'a sweater sleeve tightly. Michael could feel his fear just through one touch.

Or,

The one where Luke runs away from an abusive home and runs into Michael. For some reason, Michael can't help but feel he needs to protect the delicate boy.

You Saved Me (ao3) - CliffordAffliction luke/ashton M, 5k

Summary: After a boy from school causes harm to Luke Ashton's protective instincts kick in and all he wants to do is make sure Luke feels safe and loved

You see a lot up there but don't be scared, who needs action when you got words (ao3) - charlieclifford michael/luke N/R, 1k

Summary: Luke's new to the school and people aren't too kind towards him. Luckily, Michael's there to fight his battles for him when he's too afraid to do it himself.

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #5sos fanfic #masterlists #luke hemmings #protectiveness #protective!ashton #protective!calum #protective!michael

3 notes · View notes

daydadahlias · 5 months

Note

omg okay jess i don’t even know what to say. i can’t believe i didn’t read scene 14 sooner omg it’s amazing. this may just be your best fic imo. i’m gonna read take notes next and then i can just for sure but holy shit. this fic has fucked me up so bad. i’ve never read anything like it. i’m pretty sure you’ve mentioned before that you act/ have acted and i think that’s one of the many reasons i really love this fic because all of the acting scenes and stuff feel real and honest. not like you researched it. and i did NOT think this fic was going to be as angsts as it was, or at least i didn’t think i was going to be sobbing and pacing and (quietly) screaming at 3am over the last 2 chapters. i really love how well you portrayed luke’s reaction to the break up, even though it wasn’t actually the break up (but i think that makes it worse honestly) and the whole miscommunication between them. the fact the ash thought they were dating the whole time after they had sex was what really got me. i wanna listen to the rest of the twenty minutes of that voicemail! i loved the whole ash knowing luke’s coffee order thing. i loved how ash finally got a good first time, and hopefully many more. i can’t remember if it said that they’re going to tell them eventually, but i love how everyone else is still out of the loop! i really hope sierra and kay kay didn’t break up and i really hope crystal says yes to michael’s proposal and they live happily ever after. i hope calum and roy have a happy ending too. i literally could think of so much more to say but i need sleep haha. i really loved this fic jess. thank you for writing it and thank you for all that you do in the fandom. im gonna go to sleep now and then when i wake up i’m gonna watch the normal heart and die over scene 14. bye bye jess

Hello anon!!!!! Sorry it took me a second to get to this!! I thought I would have time to get to my computer at some point today but apparently not so I’m writing this on my phone while walking my dog apologies.

I really have not thought of scene 14 in over a year so this was a nice little reminder that she is still alive and well :) I don’t know if I’d say it’s my best fic but I definitely love it !!! The writing process was so fun (I remember being 17 writing in the back of my science class instead of paying attention 😭).

And yeah I’ve definitely mentioned acting before !! This was in the absolute height of my acting “career” too lol (read: I wrote a play and was in my senior year of highschool theatre), and knew I had to write something about theatre before I went to college and inevitably left it behind (rip acting i will always love you). I appreciate that it felt real and not researched!!! It definitely was all just personal experience coming through (such as my brief obsession with a high school theatre arch nemesis who played Billy in Bright Star — looking back I def would have casted Ashton as Jimmy if I rewrote the fic now).

I’m usually not a fan of miscommunication OR enemies to lovers in stories lol so this was kind of my go at trying to do what I hated :) I’m glad you liked it!!

Honestly the real shame is that I used to have the full voice mail!!! Back in ye old day, when I was writing, I would voice memo all monologues while planning them so I could transcribe them later so that full voicemail used to exist !! And then my phone crashed a year ago and wiped everything I loved lolz.

And Sierra and KK definitely did not break up!! I’d never do that to my girls. And of COURSE crystal said yes. Call me a sentimentalist but I set all those needs up for happy endings.

As for this last bit, I hope you got to sleep!! And thank you so much for this!!! I love our little fandom :) especially for people like you 💙🥰 and you’re going to love the movie!! Mark Ruffalo and Matt Bomer ate DOWN. Their performances were UNREAL. Keep tissues nearby.

#pigeon #anon #scene 14 #this is so sweet !!!!!!#thank you thank you!!!!!!!#it’s so crazy to look back on that fic #especially when i remember it was like #one of my first 10 fics ???#like I started really strong ahdjdjdj #I should’ve saved it #granted I did post it when the fandom was at a peak so the interaction was so phenomenal #one of the best experiences of my personal life ever tbh it was so fun to post that fic #and I wrote the whole thing in like ?? 3 months ?? it was crazy #17 yo me was a different breed

1 note · View note

ghost-of-you · 2 years

Text

we just danced backwards into each other - ch - part 6

Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character.

Warnings: Swearing, implied sexual activities.

Word Count: 9.6k

Authors note: As usual, italics are flashbacks. This took a lot longer than I anticipated, but it was fun to write. Glad to report we are out of the angst train. Just a general plot related note, I was originally intending to use the song I took the title more explicitly, but after much debate (thank you @hoodharlow for the help in this particular decision) I decided that the song doesn't really need to be there, but just know that in my head their song is there's no way by Lauv and Julia Michaels.

Read it on AO3

Part 5 Part 7

Masterlist

________________

Lena slowly drifts back into consciousness and everything around her doesn't exactly make sense. The pillow under her head is too soft, the mattress is too firm and she's warm, almost too warm. But the warmth could probably be attributed to the arm sprawled over her back. When she registers the arm, where she is finally comes back to her. She's in Calum's bed. When did they get to the bed? She remembers laying on the living room floor, her back on the carpet, her legs on the couch, arms sprawled on her sides but details after that are fuzzy at best.

She does remember the really intense conversation. She expected tears to happen. More fighting maybe. But she's glad it didn't come to that. She's glad she feels like she can exist around him again. But maybe she shouldn't be in bed with him though. That definitely shakes her resolve in not blurring the lines.

But it's not her fault she never sleeps as well as she does next to Calum. That had been true long before she knew the extent of her feelings. When she would drift off with her head on his shoulder during movies or the times they had fallen asleep with her against his chest on her living room couch when they were teens and her mother would simply call his and let them be.

She's considering what to do, eyes still closed, when the weight -and warmth- disappear and the mattress shifts. She hears the soft footsteps and a door opening and closing. She stretches, turning to her back and blinking at the ceiling. She's almost ready to accept the fact that she's awake when the bathroom door opens again and Calum moves back into the room.

Lena doesn't mean to stare. She really doesn't. But he stops, typing something into his phone, and she can't help it. She always liked how his hair looks in the morning, but the platinum makes it even more charming, and his lips are twisted in a concentration pout as he studies the phone in his hand. He's shirtless and his sweatpants are hanging almost too low, a sight that's definitely distracting her as she scans his torso, her gaze stopping on his hands, watching his fingers move across the screen, and back up his arms. When did his arms get that big?

"Are you checking me out?" Calum asks, sounding amused as a smirk creeps into his face when he catches her looking, snapping out of her thoughts.

"No," she mumbles, sitting up, the covers sliding down her chest, and she feels herself blush as she rubs her eyes, "I just," she sighs, clearing her throat, her hand moving to her neck, "you're wearing my necklace," she diverts, pointing vaguely to his chest and he looks down at the necklace before looking back to her.

"It was mine first," he shrugs, moving to his dresser and she lets out a noncommittal grunt as she yawns, closing her eyes and considering dropping back and falling asleep again. "This is yours," Calum says, his voice sounding closer than she expected as the bed shifts with his weight and she turns to look at him. He's holding her bracelet, a hesitant look in his eyes, and she stares at it, unsure of what to do. "I always regretted giving the necklace back to you, that was a real dick move, and I wanted it back ever since so I'm hoping you want this back too," he explains, watching her carefully.

She does want it back. God, she really does. But there's a weight attached to the jewelry. They both know that. It was why he gave it back to her to convince her he didn't want her and why she gave it back to him to convince him she didn't need him.

"I know," Calum adds on cue with her thoughts, "I know what you're thinking," he explains when she frowns at him, "but this was never supposed to be about anything else, this is just about us.”

"But it is about more though, they fucking match, Cal,” she laughs, motioning vaguely between them, “It's why I couldn't take the necklace off and why you gave it back, it is something more," she says, and he chuckles, shaking his head.

"It's a bracelet, love, not an engagement ring," he teases and she pouts exaggeratedly at him.

"Oh fuck, I thought I had finally bagged you," she mocks, clutching her chest and he laughs.

“Do you want it or not?” He asks and she sighs, staring at the bracelet.

“I don't know. Why are you asking such difficult questions when I just woke up?” She complains, rubbing her eyes and suppressing a yawn and his eyes soften.

“We can revisit this another time if you want,” he offers, moving to put it away again.

“No!" She exclaims, surprising herself. I guess that answers the question. "I want it, give it back," she says, reaching her wrist at him and he smiles as he puts it around it.

“There you go,” he says, and she looks down at her arm trying not to smile.

When Lena woke up, the first thing she noticed was that she had slept through the night. She felt rested and content and unwilling to move. The second thing she noticed was the warmth tangled with her. A big part of why she didn't want to move was the set of arms around her and the steady heartbeat under her cheek. And the third thing she noticed was that it hadn't been a dream. Not if Calum's bare skin against hers was anything to go by.

She opened her eyes, moving her head on his chest to look at his face, finding Calum still peacefully asleep, and she smiled when she realized she didn't need to fight the urge to run her hands through his hair. She was trying not to let her thoughts go down the spiral they were threatening to go down, but she didn't exactly know what was the protocol for when you have sex with your best friend after years of pining. Calum was definitely not ready for all the feelings she had. Even more considering the pressure he was under. And she was definitely not ready for the possibility of this ending up being a situation like their first kiss had.

She was still watching him when he stirred awake moments later, leaning into her touch as her hands moved in his hair, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Morning," he said, voice raspy and low as he blinked at her, a pleased smile on his lips.

"Hi," she said, moving her hands away from his hair, and stretching, trying to move out of his chest, but he didn't let her, his hands moving up her spine to pull her closer, making her shiver.

"Don't move yet," he pouted, hiding his face in her hair and she giggled.

"Okay," she agreed, settling back against him, tugging lightly at his necklace before starting to trace nonsensical patterns against the tattoos on his chest and closing her eyes, wanting to commit the content sounds he was making to memory.

"Love?" He whispered, and she hummed in acknowledgment, looking back at his face, but he didn't say anything, he just moved his hand to her cheek and his lips down to hers. She smiled against his lips when he let out a happy hum, the kiss soft and lazy, making her chest warm and her body tingle all over.

Calum pulled back, watching her face for a second, before letting his fingers tangle up with her hair and kissing her again, more insistent this time, testing, and Lena matched his energy, deepening the kiss, her fingers moving lightly over his chest, his neck, his arm, making him groan against her lips, the hand not in her hair gripping the skin of her back, and she gasped when he flipped them, so that he was on top of her, between her legs.

"Is this okay?" He checked, moving her hair out of her face and settling his arms on the sides of her head, holding part of his weight so he wouldn't crush her.

"More than okay," she nodded, grabbing his face with both hands and pulling him back to her.

“I have a question," Calum says, carefully, making her rub her eyes.

“Oh God,” she groans, faking despair before laughing, looking back at him.

“Does breakfast count as a date?” He asks and she tilts her head to the side, narrowing her eyes at him.

“I guess it depends, why?” She asks in return, and he’s watching her with an intensity that makes her stomach flip.

“If I take you out for breakfast will it be a date?” He rephrases, and she blinks rapidly at him in confusion.

“You’re asking me out?”

“Yes,” Calum nods and Lena runs a hand through her hair, looking away from him.

“Why?” She asks, looking down at her hands, suddenly feeling shy.

“I’m just trying to fix as many things as I can,” he tells her and she frowns at him.

“What do you mean?”

“You were upset we never went on a date,” he says, simply.

Right, she did complain about how she hated the fact they never went on a proper date. She just didn’t expect him to want to do something about it.

“So, does it count or not?” His voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she exhales deeply, trying to gather her feelings before raising an eyebrow at him.

"Are you asking me if I think that a hangover breakfast is a better date than a pap walk?" She teases, a grin on her face and he shrugs.

"I just thought that asking you out to dinner would be too bold," he says, making her laugh.

"Breakfast is fine but dinner isn't? What about lunch? Coffee? Drinks?" She lists, and he looks at her, mock-pondering her words.

"I guess. Yes. Yes and no."

"Why are drinks a no?" She frowns at him.

"Do you need to be drunk to be around me, woman?" He complains, punctuating his words by poking her ribs, making her squeal and squirm away from his hands.

"I'm not drunk right now," she pouts exaggeratedly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"You're thinking about drinking," he says, trying to poke her again and she laughs, slapping his hand away.

"No, I'm thinking about dates," she says, sticking her tongue out at him and he gives an unimpressed look.

"No, you're avoiding my question," he says and she sighs.

"You really wanna take me out before the mess starts?"

"Yes,” Calum says the word so confidently it makes her feel giddy.

"Dinner is not too bold," she tells him, pressing her lips together and his eyes widen at her for a second.

"It isn't?"

"You're offering breakfast because I'm here and I won't run, right?"

"Maybe," he says, carefully, eyebrows knitted together.

"If I say I won't run, would you offer something else?” She asks and he raises an eyebrow at her. “What? If you're fixing things I want the whole experience," she defends herself and his expression softens.

"Are you saying you want me to ask you out to dinner?"

"I'm asking why breakfast."

"You're confusing me," Calum frowns at her and she laughs.

"Oh no,” Lena clutches her chest in fake despair, “my diversion techniques are too powerful," she adds, throwing her head back dramatically, making him groan.

"You're impossible."

"And yet you keep trying to take me out," she teases, laughing at him and he narrows his eyes at her.

"Fuck you," he says, playfully and that just makes her laugh harder.

"You wish," she says, and his eyes move down her body, before looking back to her face.

"Oh, I do," he smirks at her and she chokes on her laugh, her jaw dropping as she tries to think of what to say, and his expression grows smugger as she presses her lips together, feeling flustered.

"And somehow dinner is too bold?" She laughs, cocking her head and playfully shoving his shoulder, and he shrugs, still smirking.

"Lena," he starts, suddenly serious again.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to go out for dinner with me tonight?" Calum asks and she purses her lips.

"Will it be a proper thing where I try on fifteen different outfits and you show up to pick me up looking cute and stand there feeling awkward while my 5'8" roommate tries to look intimidating and-" she starts to ramble but he interrupts her.

"Would that make you happy?"

"Oh yeah, I love trying on fifteen different outfits," she teases and he groans, "okay, I'll let you take me out to dinner tonight, but can breakfast still be a thing, I really want pancakes."

"Really?" He asks, sounding surprised, and she cocks her head, fighting the urge to start laughing.

"I can say no if that will make you happy."

"You already agreed, you can't take it back now," he teases and she raises an eyebrow at him, “you can, but I hope you won’t,” he adds, making her laugh.

“I said yes, didn’t I?” She says, scrunching her nose and he grins at her.

“I’ll make you pancakes then.”

****

Lena hears the doorbell when she’s fastening her heels, and she tries to listen as Andy opens the door, trying to hear what they are talking about as she checks herself in the mirror.

"Did she try on fifteen different outfits?" Calum’s voice asks and she lets out a snort, shaking her head.

"More like thirty, she went through my closet at some point, I have no idea what she was hoping to find," Andy teases her, and Lena groans to herself. He's not lying, she's currently wearing outfit number twenty-eight. Not that she counted. And she did go through his closet. But Calum didn’t need to know that.

"Andy, shut up!" She calls from her room, taking one more glance at the mirror, smoothing her dress and grabbing her purse before walking out.

"Yeah, the two of you being buddies now is definitely not working for me," she complains walking into the living room, the sound of their laughter echoing through the room. In reality, she just didn't like the way they were laughing at her at the moment, she has to admit she does enjoy how they seem almost comfortable around each other. She’s fixing her hair over her shoulder when they notice her and she laughs as Andy wolf whistles, but she’s not paying attention to him. She’s thinking about how the time it took for her to get ready is absolutely worth it just for the starstruck look Calum’s wearing while looking at her. She’s taking in his suit, all black, no tie, that somehow matches her dress, the one completely black dress she owns, and she actually giggles at the way they probably will look amazing standing next to each other.

“We match,” she laughs, brushing her hair behind her ear and her voice seems to snap Calum back to reality, as he shakes his head, smiling at her.

“We do,” he chuckles, “you look beautiful,” he adds, eyes scanning her again.

“Thank you,” she says, scrunching her nose, doing a pose she knows looks really awkward, making him laugh, “you don’t look bad yourself.”

“You’re ready?”

“Yeah,” she smiles at him and Andy clears his throat.

“Don’t bring her back too late,” he says, pointing at Calum, the stern tone of his voice making Lena groan.

“And, chill,” she warns at the same time Calum nods “you got it, mate,” that makes Andy narrow his eyes at him. He’s about to add something when Lena shakes her head, narrowing her eyes at him in a warning and grabbing Calum’s hand.

“Let’s go,” she says, pulling Calum towards the door, making him laugh as he lets himself be dragged.

“You know, your roommate trying to be intimidating was part of the deal,” Calum teases once the door closes behind them.

“Yeah, but if you let him he’ll keep trying and we’ll be there all night, and ending up stuck in my living room defeats the purpose of this exercise,” she teases once they step into the elevator, motioning between them and he laughs.

“Exercise?” He asks, clutching his chest, his tone making her giggle, “you wound me, love.”

“Well, I haven’t seen anything yet,” she shrugs.

“Yet,” he winks at her and she rolls her eyes, “you really look beautiful," he adds, and she feels her cheeks heating up.

"You said to dress nice, so," she says, motioning vaguely to the dress and he nods.

"That I did.” That and the time he’d be picking her up were the only things he said when she asked for details, and if Lena’s being completely honest, it’s stressing her out.

“So you do have a plan even though you had no warning?” She asks as they walk to his car.

“Yes,” he says, opening the door for her.

“Will you tell me what the plan is?” She asks while getting in and he laughs.

“No,” he punctuates the word by closing the door, making her pout watching as he walks around the car.

“But,” she starts once he gets in but he interrupts her.

“You’ll like it,” he promises, starting the car.

“How can you be so sure?” She asks, turning her body towards him.

“I’ve known you for a decade, I think I can work out a meal you’ll like,” he says, sounding half amused, half exasperated, and she laughs.

“Are you sure about that?” She asks, this time just to annoy him and he glances at her.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” she answers at a speed that surprises her and makes him chuckle.

“Then trust me."

“Fine," she pouts, turning forward.

"Stop pouting," he teases, one hand patting her thigh and she huffs.

"Eyes on the road, Hood," she says, pouting harder while glancing at him and he chuckles.

"I don't need to look at you to know you're pouting, love."

“You sure about that?” She asks, frowning at him and he glances at her.

“You’re still pouting,” he tells her and the laugh she was trying to hold escapes her in a snort, making her cover her mouth, and Calum chuckles.

“‘Cause you won’t tell me where we're going,” she complains, and he shrugs as the car stops.

“‘Cause we’re here,” he announces, pulling the keys out of the ignition, and she frowns, looking away from him and out the window, recognizing the restaurant they just stopped at.

“Oh my god, I love this place,” she gasps, turning to grin at him, a hand gripping his arm, making him laugh.

“I know,” he nods, winking at her, before getting out of the car, making her shake her head in confusion while watching him walk around the car, before pushing her door open and jumping out.

“How?” She asks, raising an eyebrow at him, and he shrugs.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teases, taking her hand, and she lets him move them through the doors and waits for them to be seated before complaining again.

"Can you stop being cryptic, please?"

“I’m not being cryptic, I’m just surprising you,” he says, simply, and she cocks her head to the side, watching him, but their waiter comes before she can say anything.

“We have a problem,” Lena jokes once the orders are placed, taking a sip of her water as she pauses, watching him across from her for long enough to see a hint of alarm on his face.

“What?” He asks, and she laughs.

"I already know everything I usually ask on first dates so I’m a bit lost here.”

“You do?” Calum asks, sounding amused and she nods.

“Yeah, I know about your parents, I know you’re totally a momma's boy, I know about your sister, your dog, your job, your best friend, your favorite color,” she lists, counting her fingers.

“What’s my favorite color?” He asks, and she rolls her eyes.

“Blue," she says, raising her eyebrow, almost daring him to ask a harder question and he nods.

“Okay, yeah, did you finally admit to yourself that yours is pink, or are you still in denial?”

“Yeah, no, I’m not in denial anymore, it's definitely pink," she agrees with a chuckle. Lena used to be adamant about how her favorite color wasn't pink but Calum had always gotten her the pink version of tiny things, like pens, stickers, guitar picks, claiming he knew her favorite color better than she did. She always pretended to be annoyed by it, but it also always made her feel warm inside. "I’m thinking about dyeing my hair pink next,” she adds, twisting a strand of her hair, now not as bright red anymore as the color is starting to fade.

“You’re already tired of the red?”

“Not really, I like the red, it just feels like a permanent reminder of how much I fucked up sometimes," she shrugs and he nods.

"I would think the tattoos would do that," he teases and she fakes outrage.

"But they look cool!" She complains clutching her chest and he laughs.

"I just never thought you'd actually end up getting one."

"Come on, I've always talked about wanting them."

"Yeah, talked," he says and she rolls her eyes, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Dude, the first time I went to a parlor I left with four, don't say I'm all talk."

"Don't call me dude on our date," Calum says, making her giggle.

"What if I mean it affectionately?" She defends herself, but he shakes his head.

"Nope."

"Can I call you mate? Bro?" She adds, playfully knocking her fist to her chest, making him groan.

"You think you're cute?" He asks, failing to suppress the smile on his face and she gives him a cheeky grin.

"I'm fucking adorable."

***

"You want ice cream?" Calum asks, turning the music down and looking at Lena when they're back in the car, stopped at a red light, pointing at a shop across the street, making her stare at him in disbelief.

"Do I want ice cream? What type of question is that? Obviously," she laughs, "but we're not exactly going to blend in if we walk up to a shop dressed like this," she adds, hoping the comment sounds lighthearted. She doesn't want to think about how they are "Calum Hood, bassist from 5 Seconds of Summer and singer Lena Summers" at the moment, not when her stupid idea to post a picture wearing his hoodie had worked a little too well. The picture was hidden between two others, but her comments were filled with enough "is that Calum's?" to make her scared of what would happen if they got recognized together at the moment.

"Drive-thru it is," he says after studying her face for a few seconds, and she nods, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“The light,” she points out when it changes to green and he’s still watching her, before letting herself watch him drive.

"What do you want?" He asks, slowing down as they turn into the Mcdonald's, and she can tell he thinks he knows and she decides to switch things up.

"Strawberry shake," she tells him, and he turns to her, staring at her in confusion, making her laugh.

"Who are you?" He asks, and that just makes her laugh harder.

"Gotta keep you on your toes," she teases between breaths and frowns at her.

"You don't want chocolate?" He asks and she shakes her head.

"Nope."

"Really?”

“It’s pink,” she shrugs, making him cock his head at her, smiling fondly before nodding.

“Okay,” he agrees, before ordering. “There you go,” he says, handing her the shake and putting his own on the holder between them.

“Thank you,” she says, bringing the straw to her lips, “you’re not planning on stopping at an empty parking lot, are you?” she asks as he drives off, making him chuckle.

“No,” he shakes his head, and she nods, looking out the window and recognizing the way he’s going.

“You’re taking us to my pond,” she says, leaning back on the seat, happily slurping the shake, and he laughs.

“The park is public, love,” he glances at her and she pouts, “you like it and it’s better than just sitting in the car.”

“I’m not complaining,” she says, as he parks the car and she leans down to take her heels off.

“What are you doing?” He asks, frowning at her when he notices.

“I ain’t walking around the park in those,” she explains, kicking the shoes under her seat, grabbing the shake, and opening the door, “let’s go,” she adds, jumping out and she can feel Calum watching her as she walks around the car to his side, and she leans against the side of it as he gets out before grabbing his hand and dragging him along with her.

“There are benches, you know?” He laughs as she moves them through the grass to a tree facing the pond.

“Don’t act like you’re not a floor person,” she says, plopping down to the floor and patting the grass beside her. “Can you indulge me for a while?” She asks when he settles beside her, crossing her legs under her and turning her body to him.

“What do you want?” He asks in return, turning his head to her, one hand coming to rest on her knee and she smiles sheepishly at him.

“Pictures,” she says, and he chuckles.

“Plural.”

“Please?” She pouts, looking at him through her lashes, leaning closer to him and his expression softens.

“You don’t play fair,” he complains, pinching her chin and she scrunches her nose, grinning at him.

“I know, now make my teenage self happy and take a picture with me.”

"Just your teenage self?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at her and she shakes her head.

"Oh no, but my current self can't let you know that yet," she chuckles, pulling her phone out and shaking it, “please?”

“You do realize it’s too dark to get anything good, right?”

“Yes,” she nods, opening the camera, turning on the grass, and leaning her back against his side, “I’ll drop the plural, just one?” She asks, holding the phone up, and his laugh tickles her hair.

“One,” he says, shifting behind her, chin resting on her shoulder, head leaning against hers, and she grins as she snaps the picture. He was right, it is too dark, but she smiles looking down at it anyway.

“Thank you,” she says, turning so she would be facing him again.

"You know, we were technically in a bar across the world, but the band hasn't broken up yet," he tells her, and she frowns, shaking her head.

"Of course not, you'll be making music 'till you're 70."

"But you're not living an ordinary life either," he adds, making confusion grow.

"Wait, what are you-" she stops once she realizes what he means, "oh my god, I can't believe you remember that," she laughs, running a hand through her hair and he nods.

"I had that little speech of yours running in my head for days, of course I remember.”

"So is this us seeing where life will take us?" She asks, bringing her shake to her lips, but he shakes his head.

"No."

"No?"

"I'm not waiting around hoping things work out anymore," he explains, drinking from his shake, watching her intently and she’s unsure of what to say. "Is your rule still in place?" He asks, leaning closer to her and she presses her lips together.

"Yes," she nods, leaning an elbow on her knee and propping her chin in her hand.

"But the date is real," Calum states and she chuckles.

"What if I'm a no-kissing-on-the-first-date type of person?"

"You're not," he says, looking amused, and she shrugs, noncommittally.

"Still, no kissing allowed."

"But-" he starts but she interrupts him.

"Why does it bother you so much? Making out was a part of a relationship for a very small fraction of the time we've known each other," she asks, studying his face.

"Because you're not telling me something," he explains, and she frowns at him.

"What makes you think that?"

"I know you,” he says, simply, and she chuckles.

"What if I just don't feel like making out with you?"

"Nah, you want it," he smirks, and she shakes her head, leaning back and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"You're really full of yourself sometimes.”

"We both know it's true, love," he shrugs, leaning back, putting his weight on his arms behind him.

"I think you're projecting, baby,” she teases, but he nods.

"I'm not scared to admit that I’m dying to kiss you right now," he says, making her blink rapidly at him.

"You still can't kiss me."

"Can you just tell me the real reason why?" Calum asks, brown eyes watching her carefully, and Lena purses her lips, contemplating his question, before shaking her head.

"Guess you're gonna have to figure that one out for yourself."

***

Lena doesn’t want the night to end, but she doesn’t say anything as Calum stops in front of her building, she just looks from him to her building as he turns the car off.

"Wait there," he says, pulling the keys out of the ignition and jumping out of the car, making her laugh as he moves around it and pulls her door open.

"You're really going all out, huh?" She says with a laugh, taking the hand he's offering as she steps out of the car.

"I told you I'm winning you back," he tells her, intertwining their fingers together as they move towards her building.

"And you're still awfully confident about it," she teases, shaking her head and he pouts at her.

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"I guess it depends, but I can't say I'm not enjoying it," she laughs and he frowns at her.

"Depends on what?"

"Something else for you to figure out," she says, letting go of his hand when they step into the empty elevator.

"Fine," he huffs and she giggles, watching as he fixes his hair and pulls his phone out, "come here," he says, pulling her so her back is flush against his chest, one arm around her waist, making her gasp, before noticing what he's doing, turning her neck so she could look at his face, her smile getting wider.

"Are you actually taking pictures with me?" She gasps, faking surprise, adjusting against him, looking at his phone, noticing he's taken a few already. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" She laughs after a few shots, throwing her head back against his shoulder.

"Can't say I'm not," he says, lips against her ear, "but they are for me too," he adds, making her giggle and he kisses her cheek, arm holding her a little tighter before putting his phone back in his pocket.

"I know, you love your mirror selfies," she teases, stepping out of his hold as they stop at her floor.

"Thank you," she adds, grinning up at him and he chuckles.

"For what?"

"Indulging me," she shrugs, stopping by her apartment and turning to look at him when he leans against the wall beside her door.

"Was it everything you hoped for?" Calum asks and she scrunches her nose in mock contemplation before shaking her head.

"Nah, I was expecting dozens of roses and at least one horse," Lena tells him but he shakes his head.

"No, you weren't."

"How would you know?"

"You don't like getting flowers," he says, pushing himself off the wall and stepping closer to her, "you get sad when they die, is why I didn't bring any," he adds when her expression changes to confusion and she blinks at him a couple of times. It's true, she likes them, but it always makes her upset to watch them wither away. Not that she'd ever tell that to anyone. Which means he has been paying attention all this time. She doesn't know what to do with that information.

"What about the horse?" She asks, and he shrugs.

"You don't care about them enough to fantasize about it."

"Okay, true," she agrees, ducking her head, fidgeting with the bracelet on her wrist.

"Did I make your teenage self happy?" He asks and she smiles as she looks back at his face.

"I think it's safe to say all my selves are happy right now," she giggles. It's the truth, she's happy. Just happy. "Wait, no, hang on," she adds, hanging on to his arm and taking her heels off, "okay, now I'm happy," she laughs, letting go of his arm once her feet are on the floor, to look for her keys in her purse.

"Good," he says, smiling at her, and she finally pulls the keys out.

"Thank you," she says again, standing on her tiptoes, throwing her arms around his neck, and hiding her face in it when his arms wrapped around her. She turns her head, kissing his cheek before dropping back to her feet and pulling away, but his hands stay on her waist, holding her close, making her look up at his face.

Calum's brown eyes are filled with the familiar intensity but also something warmer that makes it hard for Lena to look away. She's thinking about what to say when he chuckles.

"I know, I can't kiss you," he says, pressing his lips against her forehead before letting go of her, "but please feel free to kiss me anytime you feel like it," he jokes and she laughs, leaning down to pick up her shoes and putting the keys to the door.

"Idiot," she says, opening the door and turning to him, and he grins at her.

"You love it," he winks and she shakes her head, a smile on her face. She does. But she sure as hell is not admitting it.

"Night, Cal."

______

Lena's mind is hazed with sleep as she moves around in the dark, wondering why the doorbell is so loud, eyes half-closed just wanting the noise to stop.

"Jesus, I'm coming," she shouts, assuming Andy forgot his keys. It happened a lot. So she doesn't look through the peephole, she just unlocks the door. "You're not Andy," she says when she looks up at the man standing in front of her, "Hi, Cal," she greets, rubbing her face.

"You were sleeping," Calum states, as she rubs her eyes again.

“Yeah, come on in,” she says, stepping back to let him in. Only after she closes the door that she remembers she didn't turn on any lights and feels around for the switch.

The lights flicker on and Calum curses, turning his eyes away from her, making her extremely aware of the fact that she's only wearing boy shorts and a tank top.

"Why are you getting shy on me, Cal? It's not like you never saw me with less," she teases, feeling amused by how he seems to be blushing.

"Yeah, but this," he trails off, eyes scanning her and she cocks her head, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What?"

"It's distracting?"

She laughs and moves towards her bedroom, knowing he'll follow. She opens the closet and feels blindly at the hangers, finding a hoodie. She puts it on and as she suspected it's long enough to cover her ass. She's getting her hair out of the collar when Calum turns the lights on and she turns to him in time to catch him checking her out.

"That's worse,” he says, gaze lingering on her legs

"What? Why?" She asks, looking down at herself and back at him.

"Because that's mine," he breathes, eyes still scanning her.

"Oh," she looks down and sure enough, it's a hoodie she had borrowed from him. "Sorry," she pulls it off her and hands it to him.

"You don't," he trails off and she raises an eyebrow at him.

"Did you lose the ability to finish sentences?"

"It's just that, this is," he trails off again and she laughs at the look on his face.

“You really gonna make me put on pants, aren’t you?" She complains, walking back into the closet and coming out wearing sweatpants, and Calum seems amused by her, "if I have to put on pants, I get to keep the hoodie," she says, moving closer to him and reaching to take it back from him.

"That sounds fair," he jokes, handing it back and she pulls it over her head.

"Now that I'm covered up, you think you can finish a sentence without getting distracted by how hot I am?" She teases, poking his arm, before stepping back towards her bed, pulling one of the blankets and throwing it over her head, and fisting her hands on the ends and bringing them together in front of her, “or is this better?” She laughs, and he gives her an amused look, laughing too as he steps closer to her, reaching for the blanket and closing it in front of her face.

“Now that’s perfect,” he says, making her let out a muffled hey before pulling the blanket down around her shoulders, and he smooths her hair back into place.

“Why were you asleep? it’s not even eight,” Calum asks, watching her face as she stifles a yawn.

“I’ve been in the studio since 4 am, I got home, like, less than an hour ago and I'm dead on my feet,” she shrugs, and his expression softens.

“You want me to go?”

“Nah, you're here, I’m awake, what's wrong?” She asks, rubbing her eyes and throwing the blanket back onto the bed.

“Why do you think something’s wrong?” He asks in return and she raises an eyebrow at him.

“You’re in my house,” she states like it's obvious and he frowns at her.

“Couldn’t I just want to see you?”

“Is this you just wanting to hang out?”

“Not exactly,” he rubs his neck and she motions for him to just say it already.

“Then tell me what’s wrong."

"Nothing, it's just that I got the demo of the song," he tells her and she blinks at him a couple of times, before ducking her head. Right, the song. She needs to finish the song. Actually, they need to finish the song, since he seems eager enough to show up to talk to her about it. She hadn't forgotten about this side effect of everything she's done, but it had been quite easy to pretend that their relationship didn't have this whole new layer of complications added to it when it was just the two of them.

"You’re nice calling that a demo," she huffs, scratching her neck and looking back at him, "you got the nanana version or the one I repeat the verse?"

“The repeat verse one."

“Okay."

“So I had an idea and I wanted your opinion," he continues and she frowns at him.

"So you just dropped everything and came here?" She stretches, still trying to chase the sleep away and he shrugs.

"I live across the street," Calum says, sheepishly, and she chuckles.

"Okay, show me then," she says, taking his hand and dragging him with her to her music room.

"I didn't know you played that now," he says, pointing to the keyboard, covered in papers, and she shakes her head.

"I don't, Andy does, I mostly just sit there, looking pretty while he does all the work,” she jokes, motioning around the room. Andy had the tendency to want different instruments and Lena had the tendency of buying them in the name of the "what if we need that sound" instinct that sometimes takes over her. They also have recording gear stored somewhere, but she blamed that on the sound engineer side of her instincts. It at least gave her the illusion of control over her sound. She didn't play the piano though, and not for lack of trying, she just couldn't figure it out.

“You don’t just look pretty,” Calum says, moving closer to the instruments and she chuckles.

“Nah, I bust my ass, I just suck at keys."

“What are you working on?” He points at the papers on the keyboard, and panic rises in her chest as she looks over his shoulder to see what’s written there. She knows, there are three songs she didn’t put on the last album but really likes, she can see a few highlighted lines and she reacts by grabbing the papers.

“Nothing,” she squeaks and Calum looks back at her.

“What was that?” He laughs, sounding amused and she doesn't have an answer.

“Too personal?” She shakes her head, looking around the room for the folder where those were before she decided to revisit them.

“Oh, you do have the concept of a song being too personal then?” He teases, sitting down on the bench by the keyboard but with his back to it, watching Lena as she puts the folder back in a drawer.

"Well, I don't believe in," she pauses, looking up, trying to remember, "what is it that Ash says? Writing the universal truths?" She looks at him for confirmation and he nods, laughing.

Lena was in a frenzy. That had to be the word. She had no idea where it was all coming from but she had been doing it long enough to know she shouldn't fight it, just lean into it. Sitting on the floor alone, dressed in one of the hoodies she had taken from Calum, she was facing feelings she probably wasn't ready to admit. She was not planning on doing anything with the song. It felt too personal. But she had to keep going.

She always laughed at Andy, saying they didn't need all the instruments they had but at that moment she was grateful they did because she didn't know what she would do if she couldn't just move around the room looking for the sound she wanted.

To be honest, she should be packing. The deal was that she could stay until she was done with school, so she had no excuses to delay the move to LA anymore, and she wanted the change. But seeing Calum at the event a few days before had made all her feelings a big ball of "I don't care I just want him back" and she was doing the only thing she knew to deal with it.

She was listening back to the track, headphones over only one ear when Andy knocked on the door before going in.

"Le, are you okay?" He asked when she pulled the headphones down and turned to him, kneeling beside her, a comforting hand on her arm and she nodded, "Then why are you crying?" He added, and she touched her cheek, feeling the tears and frowning. She hadn't noticed she was crying.

"I wrote something," she shrugged, voice cracking, handing him the headphones and restarting the track when he put them on, watching as he watched her, curling her hands around the ends of her sleeves.

"Le, that's-" he started once the song ended but she shook her head.

"Too personal, I just wanted to get it out."

"So it's going into the unreleased pile?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her and she nodded. She could tell he was getting frustrated about the amount of half-finished songs they seemed to have, but she felt too exposed when she looked back at some of them. "But that's good, better than some of the songs we already have," he protested and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on."

"It's true, we're going for heartbreak, ending the album with that last chorus would seal it off," he said, and she laughed.

"Please, I can't just go back to the reason why I'm lost is not that good."

"But it sums up the album."

"No, it sums up me," she said, pressing her lips together.

"Le," he said, sympathy in his tone.

"I miss him, and I hate it, and right now I don't give a fuck about what happened, I just want him back, how stupid is that?"

"That's not stupid, is human."

"No, that's the effect he has, I see him, and bam," she said, dramatically clapping her hands together.

"You saw him?" He asked and she nodded.

"He was at that label thing."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to talk about it, I just know he said he misses me and now I'm on the floor in his clothes, how fun."

“Le.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m helpless.”

“You are, but I was gonna say he’s a dick.”

"You always say he's a dick," she chuckled and he nodded.

"Yeah, but saying he misses you after what he did really makes him a dick."

“And my songs are just the right amount of personal,” Lena defends herself, grabbing the notebook and pencil case still on the keyboard and pulling another chair to sit close to Calum, "‘cause I hide the real personal ones."

“It can’t be that bad,” he laughs, turning to her.

“Oh, I have this one that I like to call ‘fuck you Calum Hood’ that just three and a half minutes of me screaming,” she tells him and he frowns.

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” he says, cocking his head and she laughs.

“I’m not, Andy laughed so hard when he heard it he was crying, he said my death metal career would not go anywhere, my screamo technique was really lacking."

“You really walked into a booth and just started screaming?” Calum asks and she nods, pressing her lips together.

“Yeah, it was a really cathartic experience," she rubs her face and he nods.

“I bet it was,” he says, watching her and she feels her cheeks start to heat up under his gaze.

"I was recycling," she says, clearing her throat and flipping through the notebook, "the songs," she adds when Calum looks confused back at her, "I'm just making sure I didn't abandon something great, it's how I found the one they want us to record."

“Why didn’t you finish it?"

“I just couldn’t, you remember how I used to always be writing things down?” Lena asks and he nods.

“Yeah,” Calum chuckles, a small grin on his face.

“My mum sent me a box with my notebooks and I found that in one of them and everything in all of them is mostly garbage, but I really liked the chorus and I tried to work on it, but I didn't get very far, so I showed it to my team 'cause I thought it could be a good duet and well, they clearly liked the idea, 'cause here we are," she shrugs, finding the page where the lyrics were written and looking back at Calum, finding him looking like he wants to say something but it's not sure if he should.

"Is it-" he starts, but stops himself and she sighs. She's pretty sure she knows what he wants to know, but she won't say it unless he asks.

"Just ask."

"Is it about me?" He asks, the intensity in his eyes holding her gaze.

"They are all about you, Calum," she blurts out, and her eyes widen when she notices what she had said, "fuck that just came out," she runs a hand through her hair, her cheeks feeling like they're on fire but Calum seems unfazed, just continuing to watch her.

“When did you write it?” He asks and she chews on her bottom lip, looking down at the date on the top of the page open in her lap.

“The day you kissed me. Before you kissed me, obviously, I didn’t know you were gonna do that," she says, picking at the edges of the paper, and Calum chuckles.

“So you said you were in love with me, but it didn’t change anything, told me it would never happen, and then wrote a song about how we are unavoidable?” He asks, cocking his head and she scrunches her nose, looking sheepish.

"Teenage girl, crazy, all of us," she jokes and he gives her an unimpressed look.

“Love, come on."

“I told you what you needed to hear that day."

“What I needed?” He asks, sounding unconvinced and she sighs.

"To be honest I just wanted to stop you from kissing me," she admits and he looks about to protest, "you were totally thinking about kissing me that day, don’t lie to me,” she adds, narrowing her eyes at him, and he nods.

“It might’ve crossed my mind," Calum says, sliding on the bench to get closer to her.

“I know, you get this look on your face and… I don’t know… I couldn’t have you kissing me after that conversation,” she says, looking up at the ceiling and hugging the notebook to her chest.

“Why not? It happened anyway,” he frowns at her and she chuckles.

“Yeah, remember how that ended with me driving everyone crazy to get you to talk to me? I knew how things were gonna go."

“Then why did you let me kiss you?”

“I’m human, babe," she chuckles and cocks his head, leaning closer to her.

"What do you mean?"

"You just showed up, and I was thinking I wasn't gonna see you for another year, sorry if I was just too stunned by your presence to think about the consequences at that particular moment,” she jokes, dropping the notebook back to her lap and leaning into it. Calum is watching her, that familiar intensity in his eyes, making Lena extremely aware of how close they are at the moment, but she can't make herself pull away.

“You’re still set in your ‘i can't kiss you’ rule?” He asks, gaze dropping to her lips, somehow stealing the air around her.

“Yeah," she breathes, trying to look away, to move away, while he nods.

“Okay,” he agrees but doesn't move either and she finally manages to drop back into the chair.

“You said you had an idea about the song,” she says, clearing her throat and she swears there's a slight pout on his lips when he turns to the keyboard.

“Yeah,” he agrees, pulling up something on his phone, before looking at the keyboard in front of them, “can I?”

“Go for it,” she says, pulling her legs under her, leaning her elbow on her knee, and propping her chin on her hand, watching as he adjusts the settings on the keyboard and starts to play. It's still her melody, but the way he's playing makes the song better in her head.

“I like how this sounds with the keys better than with the guitar,” she comments and he smiles at her.

“How attached are you to the way the song is now?” He asks and she contemplates his question for a few seconds.

“I’m attached to the chorus,” she settles. She wasn't even that attached to the melody, but that seems to be working.

“Okay, so what about this?" He starts again, first singing the verse and chorus she'd written, with a few alterations, then singing the verse typed into his phone, and she gets up from the chair, standing behind him so she could read it too, leaning softly against his back while he plays.

"When you said you had an idea, I didn't think you had a whole verse already," she laughs once he stops, moving to get her acoustic guitar, pulling the strap over her neck, "I'll comment on the lyrics later, can you play that again?"

They go back and forth, settling on the melody, the chorus, the pre-chorus, and the bridge before it becomes obvious that the only reason Lena is still awake is because she's pacing the room.

"Love, we don't have to finish this today," Calum says, softly, as she stretches and tries to crack her neck suppressing the hundredth yawn in the past five minutes, "you look about to fall asleep."

"But this is flowing," she whines, because she doesn't want to stop even though her whole body feels heavy and she feels like she could fall asleep in the place she's standing.

"And we can find it again after you get some sleep," he says, closing her notebook and tidying up the papers around the keyboard.

"But," she tries to protest, but another yawn interrupts her and she's seeing double as he gives her an unimpressed look moving closer to her, "you did wake me up, you know?" She complains, looking up at him as he takes the guitar of her hands and pulls the strap out of around her, placing it on a stand.

"And now I'm telling you to go to sleep," Calum says, taking her hand and dragging her with no real resistance back to her bedroom, "are you comfortable in those?" He asks, pointing at her clothes and she chuckles.

"Are you planning on tucking me in like I'm a child?" She smiles at him, rubbing her eyes and he chuckles.

"Yes."

"I am comfortable but I'm losing the pants, 'cause I ain't sleeping in them," she says moving hazily into her closet and putting back the boy shorts she usually sleeps in.

"You're staying in the hoodie?" He jokes when she moves back into the room and she shrugs.

"I sleep in it all the time," she admits. It was a bad habit, but whenever she felt like she needed a better night of sleep than she'd been getting, she'd sleep in a piece of clothing she took from him, a shirt, a hoodie. It used to be more effective when they still smelled like him, and his cologne was long gone from every piece still in her closet, but it still soothed her enough.

"You do?" He asks, a pleased smile on his lips, moving closer to her, but she's lost in thought, watching him.

"Can you stay over?" She blurts out, tugging anxiously on her sleeves and his expression somehow softens, "I just could really use a good night of sleep and I always do when you're around," she admits, looking up at his eyes and he nods.

"Okay, just give me a minute," he tells her, walking out of her room and she fixes the covers trying not to focus on what Calum's saying as she hears his voice faintly through the wall, choosing to move into her closet to look for something.

"Is everything okay?" She asks when he comes back at the same time as she does.

"Yeah, just getting Roy to check on Duke," he explains and she nods, "what's that?" He asks, pointing at her hands.

"Oh, I just thought you would want something more comfortable," she explains, looking down at his jeans before handing him the fabric in her hands.

"You stole sweatpants from me?" He laughs and she shakes her head.

"I'm pretty sure you forgot those in my room."

"How much of my closet do you have?" He asks, sounding amused and she shrugs.

"Well, there's a few hoodies, a bunch of shirts, there's that, I'm pretty sure that's the only bottom though, I think one of my beanies was yours too," she says, moving towards the bed, stifling back the yawns, and he chuckles.

"Do you mind-" he starts the question from beside her but she cuts him, stepping back closer to him.

"If you come back shirtless? Not in the slightest," she laughs, maybe more of a giggle and he looks amused by her, "whatever is more comfortable for you," she pats his shoulder and turns back to the bed.

She is basically asleep when he comes back and settles beside her, and she reaches to the side to turn the lights off, before crawling closer to him, settling against him, moving so she could hear the steady rhythm of his heart, one arm wrapped around his waist.

"Love?" Calum whispers, and she hums an acknowledgment, "what's the real reason why you don't want me to kiss you?" He asks and Lena sighs, pulling the covers closer to her and settling more heavily against him, breathing him in and fighting the urge to trace nonsensical patterns on his skin, his heartbeat under her cheek making her eyelids heavier than they already are.

"Because that gives you an unfair advantage," she mumbles, mind too hazy to avoid the question.

"Why?" He adds, adjusting under her before wrapping his arms around her, one hand moving soothingly in her hair.

"Because when you're kissing me I don't care about anything else," she mumbles, closing her eyes, feeling herself drift off already, voice low and slurry.

"And that's a bad thing?" He asks, voice soft, and she can hear the smile on it as he holds her tightly against him.

"It is when the thing I stop caring about is me."

_____

taglist: @mytlrh

If you wanna be tagged, hit me up!

#5sos fics #5sos fic #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #i still don't know how to tag fics yeah #5 seconds of summer fic #wjdbieo

13 notes · View notes

fastandtheformula1 · 9 months

Note

Hey, so I have a prompt for you! Totally get it if you're uncomfterble with writing it so no pressure!

Was wondering if you could write a 5sos fanfic where one of them self-harms and the others one by one experience different situations where he is acting weird and suspicious and they talk about it and figure out he self harms and talk to him about it

I'm Trying

a/n: if you are struggling with anything in this realm, please please ask for help! also, i am not trying to romanticize or desensitize this subject. please skip over if this is triggering for you, thank you.

summary: calum self-harms and the boys find out.

pairing: 5sos

warnings: self-harm, mentions of blood, depression/anxiety, slight cursing.

word count: 2286

again, if this is triggering for you, i HIGHLY encourage you to skip over this piece.

not my gif!

Being a musician was difficult. Especially when he had a crowd of more than 20,000 people staring at him. Their eyes glaring at him eagerly and analyzing his movements, watching every single thing he did.

Calum loved playing the bass and had dreams of one day making it onstage in front of a crowd. From what seemed like endless nights and early mornings, Calum, Luke, Ashton and Michael had finally landed a record deal. It took a lot of hard work, but eventually he and his bandmates got to a point of success and played wherever they could.

At first it was all fun; interview games, traveling the world, and hanging out with people he loved. Calum just wanted to play bass and spend time with the people he felt the most at ease with: Luke, Ashton, and Michael.

However, over the years it turned into more of a hassle for him. Calum started getting little panicked moments on stage, which was something he could get under control. The next few years were like that, him attempting to speak during a talk break, but only feeling his pounding heart and the thousands of eyes that watched him as he tried to formulate the sentence he wanted. The little voice in his head would surely criticize him for the embarrassing moments onstage, reminding him of his voice cracks and award transitions back to the show. Unfortunately, these moments turned into full-blown panic attacks onstage, which sometimes prompted him to jog offstage and gather himself for a moment.

Calum had known himself and what made him anxious, but he never thought it would be the thing he loved. He always brushed off the idea of his anxiety stemming from music, since that was often the one thing that kept him going. Lately though, it seemed to him that the reason behind his anxiousness and worry was music.

Ashton came home to the guys’ shared apartment, throwing his keys on the kitchen counter as Duke ran up to greet him. The house was still, since Michael and Luke had gone to the studio to work out a song idea they had. Ashton knew Calum was home, so he went looking for him.

“Cal?”

Ashton leapt up the steps, peaking through the Calum’s doorway noticing Calum holding something shiny. He couldn’t make out exactly what it was, but it was small enough for Calum to hold in between his thumb and pointer finger. Calum was hunched over the side of the bed facing the wall, a sight Ashton had never seen before.

“Cal, are you good?” He said, softer.

Calum jumped. Fuck, he definitely saw the blade. Shit. He quickly slid it into his pocket, praying to God that Ash didn’t see it. He shoved his face into his hands pretending to have a mental breakdown. He wasn’t far from it; they happened almost every week, but he figured that would be a good cover up for something far worse. His heart was pounding since none of the guys have ever caught him in the act, or even the moments leading up to it.

“Are you okay? You seem out of it.” Ashton sat down beside him, making the bed sink.

Calum scrambled to find an acceptable answer.

I’m good.

No, too happy.

I’m alright.

Too suspicious.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, ‘m fine.”

Calum slapped on a smile like he normally did, acting like his “normal” self. Ashton took notice of Calum's quick answer, making a mental note about it.

“What were you holding?”

Cal panicked. Would he tell Ashton the truth? How was he going to explain this? It’s not like he could just tell him what was going on; it was too complicated. Ashton never got as much anxiety and stress as Calum did with this stuff. He’d never understand. He’d think Calum was weak and couldn’t handle the pressure, and then they’d kick him out of the band and never speak to him ever again-

“Calum.” Ashton’s eyes landed on Cal’s which were glued to his hands.

“Oh, I, uh, I found a new pick for Mike to try on his guitar… found it online.” Cal lied.

“Can I see it?”

“No!” Calum screamed. “No, I, uh, want it to be a surprise to him.”

“Oh, okay.”

The boys had come from a late night of writing in the studio, arriving home around 2 a.m. The three boys were tired and seemed like they would knock out after taking a shower and getting ready for the night. Cal’s mind, though, was obliterating him of all the failed attempts at trying a new chord for one of their songs throughout the day. His anxiety never seemed to rest, even at the late hours of the night. After the boys ate something substantial, they all said good night and went to their respective rooms.

After everyone went to bed, Calum absentmindedly grabbed his razor and went into the downstairs bathroom so as to not wake up the other three. He slid out the door to his bedroom and glided down the stairs in the darkness. He carefully shut the door and locked it; hoping no one would notice he was down here.

Whenever Luke had had a bad dream, he’d always fiddled with his guitar until the scary thought that perturbed him went away. He’d often get nightmares when the jet-lag caught up with him or when he’d been getting home late. Tonight it was the latter option.

Luke carefully trotted downstairs trying not to wake anyone up; he was always afraid he would when he had nightmares. Guitar in one hand, he made it to the living room where he’d dabble in his obsession with his instrument. About an hour went by, Luke grabbing his guitar and sleep starting to call his name. His foot landed on the first step, but then he noticed a slight glow coming from the closed bathroom door. He decided to check on one of his roommates, quickly figuring out it was Calum.

He softly knocked on the door, whispering, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah, ‘m fine, go back to bed.” Cal answered.

“Calum? You’ve been in there a while. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes. I just feel a little sick. I’ll be fine.”

“Cal, you’re worrying me. Let me in,”

“No, I’m-”

“Calum!” The singer whisper-shouted.

Calum knew he wouldn’t be able to get rid of him by just saying he was okay. He deepened his voice and put forth all his effort so then he’d scare Luke away. “I said I’m fine. Good night.”

Luke was taken aback by Calum’s sudden sternness, shaking his head and mumbling an “Okay, sorry” as started upstairs. Something in his heart was telling him to fight against him, though. Calum had been acting strange lately, and Luke couldn't pinpoint it. He almost brought it up to Michael at one point but then decided against it.

The boys were about an hour and a half away from starting their pre-show rituals in Singapore, when an incident occurred between Calum and Michael.

Calum had been sitting in an empty stairwell with his thoughts and his despised razor for about 45 minutes.The weeks leading up to tonight were stressful for him; tonight would be the band’s biggest night of this tour. He felt his heart leaping against his chest, Calum desperately trying to calm his nerves, but his thoughts go the better of him.

I can’t screw this up. I need to play my best.

I can’t let the band down.

I need to do well.

Calum carefully pressed the blade against his arm like he did many times before. He knew this was a very unhealthy and detrimental ritual he did before almost every show, but something about it was a release for him.

Meanwhile, Michael had been looking for Calum for the past 15 minutes, wondering how he disappeared from existence.

“Cal, where did you-?”

As Michael yanked the door open, the blade dug into Calum’s left upper forearm -Cal knew if he did it on his wrist someone would see the scars, causing endless panic and articles in the 5SOS world- resulting in him yelping in pain. The too-familiar pain ached down Calum’s arm as the blade hit the floor, its sound clinking in the stairwell. Michael knelt down towards the bass player assessing what had just happened. Though Calum had talked his problem through in detail with Michael before, he’d never seen a fresh scar.

His voice was filled with terror and awe. “Calum, your arm-”

“I know, man. I know. It- ah, fuck.” Calum clenched his arm with his other hand, seeing the blood drip down to the floor. He drilled his eyes closed, hoping that when he’d open his eyes Michael would be gone, but when he opened them again Michael was still sitting in front of him like the good friend he was.

Michael knew of Calum’s secret, and tried getting him help for it. He’d almost arranged an appointment with a psych ward shortly before they started touring again, and told Cal he could say he needed to see his family and unplug for a while. Calum politely declined, saying that he was ‘fit for tour’ and that he could handle everything.

Michael took a breath and stared at his best friend. "Cal, you can't keep doing this, it's not healthy." His words were truthful, but still hurt Calum nonetheless.

“You think I don’t know that?!” Calum cried. He shot up from his hunched figure and started for the door. Reaching for the door handle, Cal turned his head towards Michael and breathed:

“I can’t keep living like this.”

Calum bolted out the door towards his dressing room, running for some kind of support, some kind of comfort, some kind of safety.

In the process, he accidentally rammed into Ashton in the hallway. Calum hit him so hard that he actually fell to the ground, causing him to land on the floor.

“Whoa, easy there, tiger.” Ashton joked, reaching out his arm down to pull Calum up.

A frantic Michael burst into the room after Cal, breathless and shaken. “Calum!”

Ashton whipped his head, surprised to see Michael. While Ashton was distracted, Cal pushed himself up from the ground, in the midst placing his arms behind him, trying to hide his arm from Ashton and now Michael. Tears brimmed Cal’s eyes and mentally prepared himself, knowing that this was about to be more than Calum apologizing to Ashton for running into him.

Luke popped into the door frame, hearing all the ruckus. “What’s going on?”

Calum subtly wiped his eyes, tears starting to escape from them. He couldn’t do this right now. All he could hear was the frantic heartbeat in his temple, and the voice in his head screaming at him to shut down and close off his best friends.

Michael had enough of this. He knew Calum too well and knew that he wasn't going to change his habit anytime soon. So, he decided to speak up.

“Calum, you know I love you man, and this is your issue, but…”

He shook his head and pleaded Michael through his eyes not to do this right now, but Michael didn’t care.

Calum needed help.

“...either you tell them or I will.”

Luke said, his eyebrows furrowing together in concern. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

Calum dropped his gaze to the floor and hesitantly brought his arms forward. All three pairs of eyes landed on his arm as Calum lifted his sleeve, unveiling the fresh and old scars that scattered along it. There were about 10 cuts or so, ranging from shorter, barely noticeable lines to longer, deeper ones.

Luke and Ashton’s stomach dropped, hating the way they both didn’t know what was happening with him. They felt guilty in a way, mentally kicking themselves that they possibly could have contributed to Calum doing this.

The new cut was somewhat healed now, so it wasn’t as gruesome as Michael had seen it before, but it still pained all three of them to see that Calum’s obsession was somewhat current.

“Cal,” Ashton started.

“There’s other ways to cope.” Luke chimed in.

“I know that!” Cal’s voice boomed in the room. “I’ve tried all the shit you guys have tried, but nothing helps.” His voice sounded beaten and tired amongst the quiet room.

In a fit of anxiousness and a bit of annoyance, Calum started for his dressing room again, but got blocked by Luke’s tall, strong stature. He fought and fought against him until he felt Luke’s strong arms against his body, feeling the contrast of his warm skin against his.

“It’s okay, Cal. You’re safe.”

Ashton made his way over to Calum and Luke. “We can get you help.”

Calum lied so plainly it was routine for him, “It’s fine, guys. I’m okay.”

“You’re clearly not.” Michael said, crouching down to meet Calum's eyeline.

“Please let us help you, mate.” Ashton said, following after Michael’s action.

All three of their gaze finally got through to Calum. Broken sobs erupted from him, the boys’ message clear as day. They wanted to help him. Though they didn’t know exactly every emotion Calum was experiencing, they understood a fraction of it because they were in the same boat. All four of them had different experiences with anxiety and their own personal journey with it, but then it hit him:

They boys would always be there for him. Whether he thought so or not.

Cal thought about how lucky he was that there were people that could and wanted to help him, and finally decided to accept their help.

“Okay.”

#calum 5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #fanfiction #5sos ashton #luke hemmings

1 note · View note