#deeply relatable on a sapphic level

[sharry-arry-odd]

The Ladies rested, leaning upon the decaying broken stones, alone together in the silent courtyard of the abbey, in the shadow of the steep hill that rose above the monastery remains. The sentimental hearts of the two women were prone to emotional responses to ancient buildings in ruins, if not to the religious aura of the place. They kissed, a long, loving kiss, and then stood apart and looked at each other. They walked back along the abbey road, their arms upon each other, moved by having witnessed the half-destroyed Gothic aspirations of monks.

The Ladies, by Doris Grumbach

#page 90 #the ladies #doris grumbach #the ladies of llangollen #lady eleanor charlotte butler #lady eleanor butler #eleanor butler #sarah ponsonby #Plas Newydd #queer lit #lgbtq+ lit #gothic architecture #i love the idea of being deeply romantically moved by old decrepit gothic architecture #deeply relatable on a sapphic level #quote #quotes #literature #book #booklr #reading

[ladyloveandjustice]

Summer 2023 Anime Overview: Undead Murder Farce and My Happy Marriage

Undead Murder Farce

Premise: Our story takes place in Victorian times/the Meji Era. Tsugaru is a half-oni (demon) and half human as a result of a mysterious man doing horrible experimentation on him. He’s approached by Aya Rindo, an immortal woman who has been reduced to a head (transported in a birdcage by her combat-saavy maid Shizuku) because the same man beheaded her and stole her body. They agree to team up to find the man and hopefully get Aya’s body back. As they look for the man, they travel Europe and to solve mysteries related to monsters and inhumans.

Undead Murder Farce was definitely my show of the summer season. It’s a fun mystery series starring three asshole weirdo protagonists, it’s bursting with monsters and demons and bizarre people, full of references to Victorian literature and rakugo and all kinds of nerdy stuff, it’s got stylish, slick direction from Mamoru Hatekayama (you know him from Kaguya: Love is War, and Rakugo Shinju) and it’s really gay.

The trio of Aya, Tsugaru, and Shizuku all have really have a snarky comfortable friend dynamic and their banter as they solve vampire murder mysteries, try to outsmart Arsene Lupin and a gang of Victorian literary monsters, and investigate a werewolf village and it makes for an entertaining watch. Aya will never stop making stupid jokes about how she’s just a head in a cage, and we love her for it.

The “let’s stuff in every Victorian public domain character we can” arc is where the show really starts to shine (though unlike some others, I do still really like the vampire murder mystery arc a lot—I just love the idea of a vampire murder mystery, and we really get a good feel for the cast. It’s definitely the weakest arc of the series, though). UDM gets to whip out all its literary nerd credentials. The case involves: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Arsene Lupin, The Phantom of the Opera, Carmilla, Frankenstein’s Monster, Aleister Crowley, Phileas Fogg and two surprise characters.

And yes, they remember that Carmilla is gay, which automatically puts in above 99.9% adaptations of the character. They do make her older and WAY more of a sexpot than the novel version, which, eh,  but she’s 100% the ultra-campy Blueprint Problematic Lesbian Vampire she deserves to be. Like in the novel, she exclusively feeds on and seduces women and she gets into a deeply sapphic rivalry with Shizuku, who she tries to subdue and toy with using her vampire powers. (As you can expect from the character, there is the assault stuff that comes with that territory, though they don’t go too far with it, she kisses Shizuku's neck and messes up her shirt a bit).

But also, we find out Shizuku is used to making love with someone who has “centuries” on Carmilla and is “far more experienced ”, which can only be Aya. This is further confirmed when Shizuku shows jealousy over Tsugaru and Aya’s transactional kiss in the next arc and Tsugaru has to reassure her. And then Shizuku just CONTINUES to stumble into sapphic situations. She gets surrounded by naked ladies and bonds with them like twice in the last arc. It’s great. Everyone thought it might be be Aya/Tsugaru at the beginning, but turns out UDM is For the Gays and it straightbaited you. Amazing.

It's not just Carmilla that UDM shows off its nerd (and gay) credentials with—there’s the interesting choice to make the Phantom of Persian descent, which is clever as a reference to the Phantom’s time in Persia in the original novel AND adds an extra layer to the “unfairly treated as an outcast” element of the character. (Lupin and the Phantom also team up in the story and give off such strong gay energy (Lupin especially) that a lot of people ship them). And like in the novel, Frankenstein’s Monster is smart and even functions as the more level-headed one in the villain gang.

All of that stuff is catnip to me, but the best part of UDM is following it’s convoluted mysteries and seeing Aya strut her stuff figuring the them out while everyone gets in cool fights. It’s very good at what it does, and it’s a fun romp with some interesting themes about being on the margins of society and what makes an outcast simmering underneath. I had a great time with it, and I’m aching to see more of these scrappy misfits and their adventures. If you’re here for a campy but intelligent mystery series about lovable weirdos with a side order of gay, absolutely check this one out!

My Happy Marriage

Premise: Miyo was born without supernatural talents despite her father's expectations, and after her mother passes away, her father and stepfamily treat her abusively and use her as a servant. Miyo's family sticks her with an arranged marriage to Kiyoka Kudou, a man with a reputation for being cold and cruel. However, she quickly finds he’s not what he seems, and she slowly begins to gain confidence in herself.

My Happy Marriage is a straightforward Cinderella story, but one that actually focuses on the psychological effects of being abused and the slow recovery and healing journey of its protagonist. Even if she's not with her abusive family anymore, Miyo still has completely shit self esteem and even just running into her Evil Stepsister ™ in the street sends her reeling back to where she started, consumed by fear and sadness. The story is about her finding a place where she’s loved and supported, and slowly gaining confidence, and her and her husband learning to communicate. She’s still shy, domestic, and very devoted to being proper for her husband throughout, and sometimes needs help, but her learning to let herself be loved and learning to find her own strength and power is the focus of the story. It shows how many obstacles you have to bravely face just to move forward after trauma. And in the end, Miyo finds her own way to save the day. I think that’s really valuable.

Though, like in the original Cinderella story, there is the issue of the pure, domestic woman being contrasted with evil, conniving, social climbing women (though at least there’s no “and they’re also ugly” thing going, and they have her dad be shitty too). It wasn’t bothering me too much--even the ‘training to be a proper wife’ stuff Miyo decides to do since it wasn't out of place in the Meiji era setting-- until Miyo met her sister-in-law. Sis is a divorced woman and a little more “modern” and forward than Miyo and I was excited at first, because hey, a woman in this story who doesn’t fit either the ‘demure’ or ‘evil’ archetypes. But then it turned out her tragic backstory was that she’s a shitty cook and therefore failed to be a proper woman for her husband’s family and her in-laws drove her to divorce, which she 100% blames herself and her lack of domestic skil and 'unwillingness to compromise" with her mean in-laws for. She’s not challenged on this attitude at all. I can easily see a future plotline where she reunites with her ex-husband and he reveals he didn’t mind the cooking or something, but as it stands, it’s pretty disheartening and I don't see why it was a thing.

Still, Miyo’s arc is cathartic and well done, and the animation absolutely beautiful throughout. It’s nice seeing a story focusing on recovery that focuses on the small triumphs that come with learning to see your own value after being told you’re worthless. The supernatural element is a fun touch. It’s already been renewed for a second season and I’m definitely here for the rest.

#undead murder farce #undead girl murder farce #my happy marriage #summer 2023 anime #anime overview #my reviews

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland

4.25/5. Releases 4/9/2024.

Vibes: sapphic fairy tales, selkies, feminine rage, small magical towns by the sea

Heat Index: 2/10

As the village midwife, practical and prickly Jean lives a lonely existence--until the night she finds a young woman by the sea, hours from giving birth. Her name is Muirin, and after Jean helps her deliver a son, their connection seems natural. Less natural? Muirin's relationship with her odd, domineering husband. As Jean becomes convinced that Muirin is in danger, she hatches a plan to help her escape--not realizing that there is much more to her new love's presence than a bad marriage.

I love selkies--always have. They're very much a part of my childhood, which is why it's so frustrating to see them, very frequently, done wrong... And it's such a relief to see them done right. This is a lyrical fantasy romance rooted in history (think a nineteenth century fishing village) and folklore. It's queer--and not just in the sense that it's about two women falling in love--and longing is braided into the narrative.

Along with a heavy dose of rage against men who would trap and control women. Which. Is something I think a lot of us can relate to.

This is the kind of story that sucks you in, to the point that you can feel the sea salt, the stolen kisses and unraveling secrets. It's simple, but lovely--and I'd like to see more of its type.

Quick Takes:

--There's something delightfully whimsical and angsty all at once to Muirin and Jean's romance. Like, the framing is obviously angsty. They meet when Jean delivers Muirin's baby, so it's clear from the jump that Muirin is married to a man she doesn't want to be with. The novel doesn't shy away from subjects like domestic violence (though you see very little of it on the page), marital rape (though it's only alluded to), and homophobia.

Yet for all that, this isn't a story about suffering. It's ultimately a story about love--not just Muirin and Jean's though that's a gorgeous, sweet romance that feels like it's as much solace for Jean as it is for Muirin. it's also about the love between Jean and her found family, like the midwife who mentored her, and her friend who happens to be a gay fisherman. (The queer found family vibes are stroooong in this one.) It's also a story about reclaiming agency and throwing off oppression, and that is so deeply, deeply satisfying. "Satisfying" is literally how I would describe this narrative. Towards the end, I was just nodding along like "YES".

--Going back to the romance aspect... Yes, there's caretaking, there's solace found, there's catharsis. But there's also a lot of playfulness to it. Muirin is super flirty and openly interested in Jean. While Jean is understandably hesitant to engage at first, Muirin is just inherently endearing. You definitely get a bit of grumpy/sunshine here. Jean is never grumpy towards Muirin, but she's so guarded and frosty towards the world in general (with good reason) and Muirin is just so bright and charismatic and desperate to connect with her on every level.

And there is such a deep... womanliness to this romance. Like, this is obviously a book about two women falling in love. But it goes into the societal roles of women in this book's world. The midwife, the wife, the initial meet cute being a labor scene. There's a very real depiction of the kind of husband who is inherently afraid of his wife just like--making friends with another woman. Because even if Jean and Muirin weren't falling in love, Jean would represent an alternate life, options and a path beyond him.

--Another aspect I found immensely compelling was the midwifery of it all. You don't ever get the sense that there's anything twee about birth, but it's also not a ridiculously melodramatic horror show. It's a fact of life, and Jean's good at her job, and she treats it like a job. She cares, but she's also as practical as ever. Her practicality--and the way it melts away as she falls in love with Muirin, and really as soon as she becomes emotionally invested in her--is so endearing.

--Obviously, a baby is born almost immediately in this novel. Sutherland keeps the baby in it enough for him to be cute, but not so much that he takes away from the story. He adds to the stakes--he is not the only part of the stakes. What is happening to Muirin isn't just important because she has a baby. The baby is just another person impacted by what is happening to her.

--The selkie lore is great. One scene in particular towards the end had me clutching my face. it was just so beautifully done. Apparently, this all kicked off with an ancient Tumblr post I'm pretty sure I saw back in the day? Huh! Who knew? Yet another thing Tumblr has contributed to society. I do kind of wish that the lore side of the story had unfurled a little faster, but I get why it played out the way it did.

The Sex:

There is sex; it is entirely closed door. I could've done with some stuff on the page (always) but I didn't feel robbed.

At last, those crying out for a lesbian selkie story have found their hero. Read on any day, but especially a day when it's storming outside, or you're close to the sea, or both. Keep your eye out for mysterious seals who may or may not be beautiful women in disguise.

Thanks to NetGalley and Dell for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Preorder here:

Amazon

B&N

Bookshop.org

#romance novel blogging #book recs #romance novels #books #book reviews #arc reviews #netgalley

[hattiestgal]

What is your favorite video game? (Or other type of game?)

(Apologies if this is one you've already answered)

Ok, so this is one I can never answer with just one definitive game, so I'll give you the list in no particular order!

Celeste: I mean, what can I say? It tells a deeply relatable story about overcoming your own mental mountain, and the absolute battle that can be on the way. The ups, the downs, the even further downs... then that stubborn climb back up. Plus, it's got really tight and well put together platforming mechanics, really good level design and art direction, and one of my favorite video game soundtracks ever.

Night in the Woods: This is the game that actually helped me get through a really, really bad depressive rut a few years back. You're put into the shoes of someone who struggles with a lot of aspects of life, and forced not only to confront yourself, but explore other peoples struggles at the same time, and the concept of growing up when you never really had the chance to be a kid. It fundamentally changed my perception on death. I'll never forget the line "When I die, I want it to hurt"

SLARPG: 4 gay ass furries go on an adventure, kiss, and learn deeply important lessons about themselves. It was kinda destined to be a game I loved. It's got a beautiful art style, a soundtrack I've listened to more times than I can count, and just a really lovable cast of characters. Plus, I'm real partial to notably sapphic furry women (and traditional JRPGs)

Terraria: I feel like being one of the only games I've sank over 1000 hours into makes this a pretty notable pick among my favs. Solid mechanics, one of my favorite games for mobility progression and tech, a good host of real fun boss fights, pretty much everything you could ask for! I do think there are times when the game just steps it the hell up and progression slows down a good bit (notably after plantera), but it's a seriously fun game to come back to and play every once in a while!

Undertale Yellow: Oh my GOSH, this game is too good for its own dang good!!! It's a fanmade prequel game to Undertale that tells the lovingly crafted stories of an all new cast of characters (bar like- two beasts who overlap), expands and explores Undertale's worldbuilding, has a REALLY GOOD soundtrack that's been stuck in my head for weeks, and just... more of what gave Undertale its magic. Having seen all three endings (and the neutral one being the most compelling somehow??), it's just amazing what the team behind the game managed to pull off. It's a passion project on a scale I've never really seen before.

Some honorable mentions: Beat Saber, Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker, Armored Core 6, Ghost Giant, Enter the Gungeon, and Minecraft

...Okay, enough rambling from me! I hope that gives you a good look at what I like to play!

#hat answers #i could ramble about all of these games for hours #though i really do mean ramble ehehe

[alexissara]

The Best of Me 2023

I did a ton of writing on tumblr this year, with at least one post a week but multiple weeks with 2 or 3 posts in a week. I've worked hard to make writing that is relevant to my fellow sapphics and artists. I want to talk about the stuff I wrote this year I am most proud of.

Note: This list does not include my articles for Anime Feminist because they are professionally edited therefore a cut above anything I am posting on tumblr but please do read them here and tell them you want more articles by me [I actually have more to write for them ooops].

Why Hunt Monsters?

I am so proud of this little article, for me this is one of the things I feel very strongly about. As a TTRPG player I have found myself retreating from a lot more games because I just can't get behind, we murder monsters plots and I was really happy to share my perspective on this fairly taken from granted feature of games.

How To Find Sapphic Media 

This little guide to finding Sapphic Art was really important to me because well, I was really tired of seeing people say there was not compelling art about and by sapphic women and so I wanted to make a base level resource for finding amazing sapphic shit.

Sapphic Games Goddess List

In my efforts to make Sapphic Art more known I have worked really fucking hard to research what sapphic games are coming up so people wouldn't even have to put in the effort to go hunting them down. I want people to be able to live out there sapphic dreams and so it's important to me to share what I am researching for my own play time since I at this point really only play games I can be a lesbian in or otherwise are standout in gameplay with probably no romance instead. I even did an updated version of this list since most of the games on the first list have come out and I am working on the next one as we speak with more new additions gearing up.

Why Obsession Hits Different When Gay

I love diving into queer theorizing. I am not going big brain citing a ton of people or doing a lot of academic research but I like to share my own thoughts, experiences and the stuff I have learned over years especially as a writer and general creator of sapphic art. I think it's a perfect little rebuttal for folks who may claim there is a "double standard" that lesbians have or something.

Polyamory Is Queer

This is a deeply personal little blog post I did where I talked about why polyamory is so important to me and why it is in fact queer. I have seen so many people demonize polyamory over the years and I was just tired of seeing people in my own community bullying other polyamorous folks.

Fantasy Vs Sexuality Labels

As a writer this is maybe one of the things I feel most passionate about a creative choice for my fellow queer creators. I really wanted to make my case on why we should use labels in fantasy worlds and why these labels matter for stories.

My entries for Edelgard Rarepair week and Monica Week

I from time to time to time write fan fiction and I had a blast doing it this year for two different week events going with both the Edelgard Rarepair week and the Monica fics week. I love Three Houses/Hopes so it was a blast to throw my passion into something even if in general I don't like to be a free marketing arm for companies by making creative works like those.

TTRPG Characters Need Trauma In Their Backstory

I had one person who utterly hated this post and started attacking me in basically every post I made on some social media site I abandoned because of it. That alone makes me love this post even more because it made me sit down and think about this post and feel even more assured that what I wrote is correct and that trauma is in fact needed for TTRPG characters. I think I wrote something that really dived into the idea of what is trauma, how trauma relates to us as humans and why it's basically propaganda to remove us from trauma.

Trans People Deserve More 

I feel super strongly about this article, I sat on it for a long time but I've met so many other trans people with awful relationships and mild relationships with their family. I wanted to make a shout out to all my fellow trans folks to tell them that it's okay to demand more, that we don't need to settle.

A Dive Into Heather 

I adored diving into one of my all time favorite Fire Emblem characters and it's something I've wanted to do more of. I'd love to do more dives into characters in video games I like and I did well before this post have a series of drafts that I still have up as a series that particularly is just a bit by bit break down of Edelgard's political beliefs.

#Personal #2023 #Best Of Me #Blog #Articles

[keepingsecretstokeepyoutk]

These are just my thoughts, I understand that many others feel differently.

There have been times in the past that I’ve felt frustration or anxiety about Taylor not coming out potentially ever, while continuing to drop “hints”.

(I personally feel like she has unofficially come out and is only not officially coming out because of all of the many many other closeted people she would be betraying if she really told her truth, AND for the purpose of privacy, which is in no way exclusive to closeting, straight entertainers also have PR relationships and keep their personal lives to themselves as is their right to do. But that is only background on how I feel about why Taylor is doing what she is doing, and why I don’t feel in any way entitled to her coming out. This post is just about my personal emotional experience of coming to peaceful terms with being an attentive fan in this situation.)

I have always *loved* following the lyrical and other Easter eggs to Taylor’s truth. While I went through a couple of album cycles of disappointment when the build up didn’t culminate with an official coming out, I have grown to truly be at peace with this little upside down world/wonderland/Narnia that we live in as fans who see a deeper meaning to her work.

I’ve seen some people express that if she isn’t going to come out they would rather her not leave Easter eggs at all. I very wholeheartedly disagree.

On a selfish/personal level, continuing to see the sapphic themes we’ve identified in her songs, the symbols for her truth in her branding and rollouts, reminds me that I’m not making all of this shit up. If she were to suddenly stop, I would personally feel a little ungrounded, like it must have all been coincidences. I would also have far less deeply relatable music from an unbelievably talented lyricist, to listen to.

Sure there are plenty of other sapphic writers/musicians I love, but Taylor is irreplaceable. Her work is unique as a closeted woman, because when you can’t name a feeling you have to describe it, when you can’t tell a story in plain language, you have to tell it in allegory and metaphor, leading to work that is not only relatable, it makes you understand your own experiences and feeling more deeply and in a way that other writing can’t.

On an empathetic level, it baffles me that anyone would ask Taylor to stop putting her real experiences and truth in her art. The same themes we see in folklore and evermore and midnights are present in her debut album. Taylor has always shown her true rainbow colors in her writing, whether she was doing so intentionally or not. Her whole life and happiness is her art, and her art includes not only her lyrics, but her music videos and her era aesthetics, and everything that goes into presenting her songs to her audience.

Her art is her outlet. Taylor has explicitly expressed that her writing holds her truth, it’s the only place she can emote genuinely. Being a visual artist myself, my work is the only place I can channel certain emotions. I can’t imagine censoring myself in that part of my life.

Taylor, by her own admission (in some of her most beautiful lyrics yet) has made many mistakes and unsavory compromises in her navigation of these choppy waters. I am not saying that she is blameless or flawless. She is human. Which is kind of my point.

I want to go on record that I will enjoy following her “hints”, for the rest of my life, if she never come out - or for many years to come if she one day chooses to unearth the roots of closeting in the entertainment industry with a tell all autobiography or docuseries.

I can’t wait to see what her next step is, and I’m honored that she entrusts us with everything that she does. Getting glimpses of her truth, and reading/listening to her endlessly impressive reflections on her experiences. Everyone longs to be seen and recognized by their community. I want her to know that i see her. So many of us see you. And we love you.

#taylor swift #gaylor #kaylor #bearding #gaylor swift #closeting

[thatdogmagic]

What got you into drawing werewolves?

I suppose I always felt attracted to the idea of werewolves because I was always a weird kid with this innate sense that I had to hide what I really was from everyone around me. I didn't have a name for it at the time (autism, as well as just Being Sapphic, tortured by endo, and being pissed about it + all that entails when raised Evangelical), but I related pretty deeply to this idea of having a monstrous side that ought not be perceived.

The thing I never really liked was that the monstrous side had to be-- well. Out of control and hyperviolent, though that was definitely a part of it. What I now recognize as the cishet male coding of the creature that was prevalent in media at the time. And while I did relate to that on a behavioural level (meltdowns), it still felt like the wrong fit. I didn’t like that that’s all they were, or that the wolf was a curse.

So I drew them a lot when I was young, and started drawing them in absolute earnest when Werewolf: the Apocalypse started coming out in the 90s. W:tA being a step in the right direction, but still too cishet and too male power fantasy, and with it dominating the werewolf spaces online, I started to drift a bit. It didn’t feel like “my” space, if that makes sense.

I still played with a lot of werewolf themes in my work - writing and otherwise - but didn't come back to drawing them until I had a solid foundation for what I wanted to see in them narratively, as well as just-- how I wanted to see them, period.

#dogasks

[catgirl-catboy]

Well as a person who is into psychology in a degree, I can see Tenko as a abuse victim.

Her masters teachings is commonly used technic by abusers, isolating and giving false informations to the person who they groom and it is very tragic..

And I love how she actually... caring despite the misguided logic she had, I love her and feel very bad for her you know?

And according to me love hotels are despite being dubious, actually really shows some characters needs or.. some darker aspects in their psychology.

P.s: Ryoma one, Korekiyo one and Tenko one specifically.

And the brother line is really suspicious.. All of the characters have some freudian aspect in their relationships and this is deeply fucked up (My mind went for ishimondo for minute)

And yes, lesbian Tenko is a valid headcanon but I hate how they treat bisexual Tenko headcanon like this is being a lesbophobe, lots of my life experiences were related to me being into girls and I still can say it is not being a lesbophobia it is deciphering or analysing the freudian slip she had.

Anyways for the bi tenko hc sake, do you ship her with any men and one question again do you have any controversial sexuality or gender hc? They are quite fun ngl

I'm studying to be a comp-sci major, but its a lot harder than I thought it would be. ;-;

For the ships, that depends on who you ask. I ship her with Gonta, but I also hc Gonta as NB or Genderqueer like myself. (his relation to gender norms is interesting to me, and I feel like letting go of the ideal of masculinity he holds dear would be healthy for him.)

Of course, people just see the canon Gonta and think me lesbophobic because they don't understand my vision.

Like, if someone headcanons Bi Tenko and is lebophobic, that's on the person and not the headcanon. (though like, wouldn't that hypothetical lesbophobe not want her to be queer at all? Damn strawmen)

The Gay Kokichi headcanon purists are honestly even more annoying though. Yes, he confessed to Shuichi. That makes him into men. But he also did quite a lot of flirting with Himiko and Miu. Honestly, if you want to stick as close to canon as possible (and be boring) Bi Kokichi makes the most sense.

Speaking of Kokichi, how do some people pretend that Saiouma love hotel is canon and the rest are bullshit. I'm sorry, at that point just call it a headcanon.

For controversial headcanons... uh how about the big mommy of headcanons discoursed about through the end of time. I am a fan of the trans Chihiro hc. That being said, I really dislike how most fans that share the hc with me act, and how ignorant they are about Japanese gender norms. It isn't problematic to analyze the text on a surface level.

Also I forgot to mention in my last post, but I also hc almost everyone as autistic, mainly as projection but also because the current system seems geared to people with special interests. Everyone, but Taka and Tenko especially.

Tell me about your problematic hcs! Honestly, this fandom hasn't seen an actually problematic hc in years, it needs it.

(Honestly, I prefer the Sapphic label to the Lesbian label simply because of how my genderqueer ass doesn't neatly fit into the box vaguely defined as female. I am exclusively attracted to ladies, which makes this whole erasure thing an extra layer of stupid.)

As for freud, I don't want to accuse anyone of anything here, but it is very possible Kodaka has an incest kink. You do not include it to such a degree on accident. That isn't a whoopsie! Of course, he could be writing to work out his trauma, so its none of my business.

#ask tag

[iwanthermidnightz]

In the old days — and by old days, I mean the Dark Ages of 2017 — I spent hours sifting through objectively heterosexual song lyrics searching for subjectively Sapphic clues.

Take Taylor Swift’s song “Dress,” which opens with the line: “Our secret moments in your crowded room, they’ve got no idea about me and you.” Like, who has “secret moments” in “crowded rooms” besides gay people?

This was a good mental exercise, or just a horny exercise, but it came from a place of loneliness. I wanted mainstream pop music to be queer because I was queer, and I wanted desperately to relate to the music and artists I already loved.

For years, wherever there wasn’t explicit Sapphic desire, I inserted my own in an attempt to connect. It was a long road from “I Kissed a Girl” to “Silk Chiffon” and I walked every step of it — hell, I chronicled it in my new book, Girls Can Kiss Now. The whole time I was pining, much like Taylor Swift’s strangers in a crowded room, for pop culture to get gayer.

Fortunately, each passing year has felt like the most Sapphic yet, and 2022 in particular has been off to a deeply lesbian start. There are more queer characters on TV than ever before, with lesbians in the majority. Queer women have been nominated for Academy Awards in both top acting categories, and mainstream pop and rock music is growing increasingly, visibly queer, with women like Doja Cat, Adrianne Lenker, Phoebe Bridgers, Brandi Carlile, and Megan Thee Stallion leading the scene.

Gone are my days of searching for Sapphic water in a heterosexual desert; now, the landscape is so gay, there’s no need for it (although, admittedly, it’s still a little fun). These days, I’m listening to a wave of pop-punk and rock music that’s distinctly Sapphic, slurping down new releases from The Aces, girl in red, King Princess, Clairo, Julien Baker, St. Vincent, Muna, Phoebe Bridgers, and more. Finally, there isn’t just a sea of queer acts being elevated to the mainstream, but they’re also extremely, unapologetically gay.

Pop and rock music isn’t necessarily “being queered,” because queer women have an extensive history in the genre. In the ’70s and ’80s, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts rose to fame along with the Indigo Girls. In the ’90s, musicians like Sleater Kinney, Bikini Kill, k.d. Lang, Melissa Etheridge, Ani DiFranco, and Tracy Chapman launched their careers, followed in the 2000s by Tegan and Sara, The Veronicas, Brandi Carlile, and Laura Jane Grace’s Against Me! Many of these musicians were slammed or outcast for being openly queer in their time, and some weren’t afforded the opportunity to be out and proud at all.

There is a glaring difference between these previous waves of queer rock music and the kind of in-plain-sight visibility that women-loving-women musicians enjoy today. In the 2020s, generic, pronoun-less lyrics are finally being swapped for loud odes to loving and kissing and pining over women; and wider audiences are revering these artists and lyrics, not shunning them. As a result of a much more accepting public, lyrics these days are just so, so lesbian, and so many of them are celebratory.

My own journey of self-acceptance took place as these acts started reaching unprecedented levels of success. When St. Vincent released her sixth studio album Daddy’s Home in May 2021, it charted at no. 1 on Billboard’s U.S. Independent Albums chart. Brandi Carlile, who won one Grammy last year, is nominated for five more this year. Clearly, investing in a queer rock artist is less of a perceived business “risk” these days; more people are visibly out, which means the music will resonate with more people.

Two decades ago, by contrast, record labels could more convincingly try to tell LGBTQ+ musicians that they wouldn’t generate enough album sales to be worth signing. This left many queer performers with no way to continue making and releasing music: if a label refused to promote them, they had no way to sustain a career.

The industry has changed in ways that are alternately challenging and exciting for musicians overall, but many queer performers are finding more opportunity in the aftermath of the major label system. Freed from the kind of zero-sum thinking that big labels were beholden to, independent upstarts have become very pro-queer and see the value (and the probability for success) in signing a slate of queer musicians. Take Secretly Group, a collection of four indie labels and a music publishing house that is now home to queer artists like Phoebe Bridgers, MUNA, Angel Olsen, and Claud.

Just as the major label era discouraged many queer musicians from even trying to make a name for themselves, the proliferation of LGBTQ+ friendly indie labels is opening doors for an even queerer future.

Today, artists who are loudly and proudly queer know that there are labels who are not just willing to elevate them, but also whose business model is to appeal to the queerest generation in history. With the concomitant rise of TikTok and social media, labels and publishers can actually visualize the demand for queer music; the market isn’t imaginary, but rather loud, visible, and horny for more.

Even as the Sapphic pop boom continues, I may never fully give up my hobby of searching for and decoding song lyrics for slivers of possible queerness that I can cling to. Like many queer fans, I love doing a good close reading of a Taylor Swift or a Harry Styles song. Because I am gay, I filter everything through a gay lens, and often interpret expressions of desire as queer, especially coming from artists that I am already head over heels for.

But with so much plainly Sapphic music out there these days, I finally feel sated, like I have relatable music to scream-sing in the shower. And not just music that I so desperately want to be gay, but that is gay.

#the quality reporting sapphics deserve #thanks Jill #this is so well done #thoroughly enjoying her book

[bluesadansey]

Fuffy for the ask meme!

Why I ship them (or why I do not): I obviously really do ship them they’re At Least my favorite f/f pairing tbh. They tick a lot of my boxes for what I like in a ship I love enemies to lovers dynamics but especially I love when the two characters are foils of each other and influence each other a lot, personally or morally even when they aren’t in the same location. Also betrayal and angst. Yeah. They’re also just insanely sapphic coded which people have written about that a lot so I don’t have to go in depth. Also I will say even though I’m not a fan of S7 I do think the way it book ends their development is pretty satisfying which is also a plus. And I don’t need to care deeply about both characters in a ship to ship something but it’s a huge bonus when I do and I love them both so much they’re two of my favorite characters of all time, even though between the two I have a preference for Buffy. Really their dynamic is so complex and fascinating that at the moment I don’t think I’m doing it proper justice with this lol.

My favorite moment between them: I think at one point I would have just said everything in Bad Girls and while I do love that episode and their interactions I think other scenes live in my feelings a lot more. Their storyline in Amends is actually pretty heartbreaking on rewatch, it is initially too but I don’t think I used to appreciate that probably because that’s an episode I generally used to dislike but find more merit in every time I see it. But just both of them have moments of really reaching out Buffy earlier on and Faith later and in that episode they Almost are on a better path and the timing just isn’t right. I also love them in Graduation Day, Obviously I love their fight but also Buffy kissing Faith’s forehead is a scene I think about a lot. I have a lot of feelings about Buffy’s arc with forgiveness/that being one of her defining character treats more and more as the series goes on, and my ‘have a lot of feelings’ I sort of mean two things because on the one hand I think it’s such an admirable thing about her and I love a lot of her development in this regard and moments that showcase it but on the flip side also this is (arguably) a problematic male creator making a female hero insanely forgiving and having her forgive different types of harm or even abuse from the people she’s close to or love for seven seasons in the name of ‘forgiveness is important’ but if I compartmentalize that it is something I love about her and this specific moment doesn’t inspire complicated feelings in me like some others do. It also just shows a level of affection and care that Buffy has for Faith… that was like five scenes I’m sorry

My least favorite moment between them: I have Buffy as the villain in Sanctuary, like a lot. I love the Faith two parter, Five by Five would be in my top 2 favorite Angel episodes with Reunion but this just irritates me Buffy has a right to be angry that her body was hijacked and additionally Faith used it to have sex, but the narrative spins the situation as just ‘Buffy is a villain and wants to kill Faith because she slept with her bf’ it drives me crazy lol! I love their rooftop conversation actually but the framing and context is :/

The character I prefer: Buffy like I said I have three characters who basically tie as my ultimate favorite character ever and she’s one of those three. I adore Faith like I said!

A fanfic idea for them that I would love to read or write: I’d love to read an alternate s6 where Faith is around, but also I would love to just read a lot of character introspection from Buffy during the timeline of the show that refers to Faith if that makes sense I think I’ve seen the opposite but not this. Also I would actually love an alternate or canon divergent s3 that honed in on Buffy Faith Willow dynamics in love triangle territory or not I just do find how all three relate to each other that season fascinating.

What I would have changed about how canon handled them if I could: they’d be canon? for sure, and I’d keep the body swap arc as it is because I love it but handle the aftermath differently.

Thanks so much for asking! I know this is largely an incoherent mess adhd

(Send me a ship and I’ll tell you…)

#asks #btvs #fuffy #buffy summers #faith lehane #meta #s speaks #ask games #zutaraslesbian #my meta

[deacons-wig]

k so we know how you feel about trans deacon, but what about trans piper?

Ah, it seems I’m on-brand. Not sure if you wanted a simple “trans Piper is valid” take, or my opinions? But I’ve got lots! Welcome to my Ted Talk.

I am Here for trans Piper. It’s interesting you asked about her since I’ve put some thought into her meta recently.

As a note: I like my post-apocalyptic hellscape to be transphobia-free. It’s nice to create full story arcs without relying on trans angst. I also imagine HRT is still a thing, but that’s a different meta post I will craft eventually.

SO! Trans Piper is beautiful. Love to see trans women portrayed as  intelligent, passionate, funny, and caring. That’s Piper. Yes please.

Here are some headcanons:

Piper realized she was trans in her teens. Once she worked it out, she proceeded with conviction, just like she proceeds with everything else.

Her dad helped her pick out her name, because she always “piped up” to call out injustice and share her opinions, and he loved that about her. (Give me a moment to sob quietly.)

Another reason for moving to Diamond City was for access to gender affirming care. Saving up caps for the move AND the care was difficult and she felt guilty and selfish for putting her sister through it.

She and Nat talk about gender a lot. Nat knows if she is ever questioning, she can talk to Piper.

Piper is bi, but pretty sapphic. She finds joy in connecting with other women on a platonic and romantic level. I deeply ship Piper and Ellie Perkins. Their found family dynamic in Diamond City (with Nick as an uncle figure) lives rent free in my head.

At the start of a romance with Sole, Piper worries that Blue holds old-world prejudices about trans people. This explains some of her awkwardness and surprise at Blue’s interest. If Piper has to do a lot of emotional labor educating Blue, the relationship won’t take off because Piper does not have patience for it, which is extremely valid of her.

In canon, Piper has experienced a lot of harassment, specifically because of her relentless muckraking. I take a hard line that being trans woman never put her in more danger. I’m not comfortable with, nor interested in exploring that kind of story.

Piper has a lot of growing to do regarding Synths. Empathizing with their identity-questioning helps build some understanding, since it’s easy to draw parallels between synths and gender identity.

I want to throw in some pitfalls when developing trans characters, specifically related to Deacon and Piper. See below the cut.

You mentioned my love of trans Deacon. I am very cautious about falling into the “transgender deceiver” trope with him, because Deacon is a trickster and a liar at his core. When I write him, I make sure that his gender is not tied to his lying. He may fuck with gender as a form of disguise or because it’s fun, but I don’t use trans angst as rationale for his psychological…quirks.

When thinking about Piper’s character tropes and personality, something else comes to mind. There is a trend in toxic parts of the Fallout fandom to hate on Piper for being aggressive, abrasive and annoying, which I really, really loathe for obvious reasons. Applied to trans Piper, this falls neatly into the transmisogyny of stereotyping trans women as…well…aggressive and abrasive. It’s extremely harmful and extremely common and should be avoided at all costs. Piper is not abrasive, she is passionate. Women are allowed to have opinions and be loud about it, ect. I know I’m preaching to the choir on this, but it’s something I try to be actively conscious of.

Anyway, for those of you who made it to the end, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Always happy to answer asks and contribute to the Trans Fallout agenda. Take whatever you like from this meta and run with it.

#fallout #fallout 4 #fallout meta #piper wright #fallout 4 companions #trans piper #thank you for the ask anon #be warned u ask for meta you might get more than you bargained for #transphobia #transmisogyny #asks #buntalk #bun writes meta

[bisluthq]

honestly i feel really sad realizing taylor had a pr friendship with karlie. i feel like betrayed that was a lie. it makes me feel really foolish. i feel like i can’t trust anything she says to me as a fan because she’s always presenting this fake image. it made me go off her for a few years after being bullied on tumblr when i was not as comfortable with my own sexuality. taylor has been writing a lot about how people and society and men gaslight her but i feel like she gaslights her fans. she pretends to be super close to them, she lies in interviews to sell products and brands... all while she pretends to be super authentic.

i don’t know if she’s in the closet as a bi woman at this point, but if she is heterosexual i really don’t like her as a person? she has a persecution complex i think if she’s genuinely straight and never actually has had a forbidden love. if she is bi i understand why she’d be like this, she can still be a relatable person. but if she is straight than she isn’t somebody i would ever want to associate with irl. like she would be an annoying person.

and what i hate most about that is taylor is so talented she genuinely doesn’t need to act like this, constantly acting so fake, in order to have fans. she is essentially the female bruce springsteen in terms of range and songwriting talent. but to me the least authentic taylor has always been this lover/folklore era where she’s almost using authentic cottage core as a cultivated image? it’s like practiced and not authentic.

Hi babe. Okay, look - I don’t think I can answer all of this just in one response to this ask, and feel free to DM me if you want to talk more. I think the first part of what you’re saying is a bit unfair and actually isn’t and has never been the crux of my thesis. I don’t think Karlie and Tay’s friendship was purely PR - I think they used a real connection that existed, and that was developing, possibly into more than mere friendship, to sell both their brands. And I think Tay especially got really deeply hurt as a result of that, and I’m basing this on 1) the “best friends falling apart” explanation of MTR in Long Pond 2) hoax being about something “personal” aside from the romantic and the professional 3) Cruel Summer being about a “doomed situationship” and 4) Tay’s friends liked the Tweets shading Karlie for her alleged involvement in the Masters Heist and... you know... even more. But those are four strongest pieces of evidence for me off of the top of my head. So I really don’t think it’s fair to call something that quite clearly impacted her latter 20s - whether it was romantic or a very close friendship but as I’ve explained before the latter doesn’t make complete sense to me but she is also Prairie Gown woman so who knows - pure PR. It wasn’t. But it was also PR. And if we accept this very important relationship was also PR, it becomes easier IMO to see how some of her other relationships were both PR and similarly also real and complicated. It shouldn’t be a choice.

Also, Taylor is close to her fans and appreciates and loves them. She isn’t faking that.

And we all lie sometimes. It’s not necessarily about being inauthentic. It’s about telling the truth that works for us in that moment. It might even feel real sometimes. Memories shift over time, life experiences are not static, things might seem one way at one point and another at some later point (tho highkey it’s bizarre that she gave three separate conflicting explanations for MTR but if it is in large part for Karlie betraying her during Masters, how the fuck is she meant to say that? Especially if we accept august is also about that relationship? Like she can’t put this pregnant lady who chose someone else on blast. That’s the fucking whitest lie here).

Finally I really do think she’s queer because so many of her songs hone into a deeply queer, profoundly sapphic experience which I don’t think a straight girl could access. Like I’m sorry, but as a queer woman when I hear seven I hear BABY GAY and her explanations have never ever contradicted that. I don’t think she’s a gold star lesbian and I don’t think the expectation from parts of fandom for her to be one was ever fair. I thinks she reaaally fucked up when, as a LITERAL CHILD, she said every single song she wrote was about a boy in order to sell them. I think she’s in a very weird position. She is meant to be super ‘confessional’ but she’s kinda obscuring the truth as is, but if she comes out she’ll admit she lied, and loads of people would skewer her for doing it for “attention”.

But I also think we can’t be disappointed with her for shit she never promised us to begin with. As you say, she is extremely talented and she doesn’t fucking seem straight. For all we know, that feeling isn’t something she has ever even acted on. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to talk about or deal with it. We actually don’t know what the vibe is backstage.

I agree, though, that if she has thought about all of this and decided she is completely straight and never had feelings for women and couldn’t give a fuck about the queer women fans who feel seen by her music and especially the young queer women who do that then she is a bad person. I am just not ready to go to that latter conclusion for all of the reasons noted above (and lowkey more, hence me saying message me if this didn’t satisfy you). She doesn’t, in my opinion, seem inconsiderate or deluded. She’s a little out of touch as all stars at that level are, but she knows her impact. 

So let’s take a deep breath. And realize that while our feelings on this are valid, we can still stan, and that she doesn’t actually owe us shit.

[fellhellion]

Thoughts on the blue lions please 🥺

of course!!!! i love them sm aa (tho pls keep in mind ive only Just got to the big fancy ball)

Dimitri: Very interesting! Recent game developments have me very curious as to where his character is going. There’s a few conflicting support conversations that have VERY interesting implications for what he buries down deep inside himself that i’m really hoping will be explored fully. Specifcally him saying he couldn’t trust Byleth unless he knew they didn’t enjoy killing but then Felix’s first support being acknowledgement that he enjoyed battle. There’s a lot of trauma and rage buried in this spagetti hair blond and im really nervous to see what the tipping point for him is. dude should be in fucking therapy, not in the militarised church fjdksfhjkdlshfkj 

Dedue: god i have so many feelings about this man. the internalised self hatred is incredibly fucking tragic and it’s a relief beyond words to see characters liek Sylvain expressly push against it. Dedue is also an interesting character to me because he holds his tongue specifcally on topics w certain characters. You’d never guess from his first support w Felix that he’s been thinking and silently agreeing with what Sylvain deduced about the unlikeliness of Duscar taking arms up against the king. And so much of that works incredibly well w what we learn of the discrimination he’s faced; he doesn’t want to endanger Dimitri by inviting too much scrutiny and thus the academy is really the first time he’s had this chance to work through even an iota of what he’s going through, and w people who want to support him.  also the DEEPLY underrated hilarity of his supports w Byleth being the equivalent of two silent protagonists holding a friendship. 

Annette: She’s so sweet!! I love the visual of tiny women and massive axes which is always great. She’s a wonderful foil when interacting with the more serious members of the cast and I just enjoy how cheerful she is! I haven’t progressed her Support w Byleth enough to get more info on the story with her father but i am Curious

Ashe: sweet boi....SWEET boi i love him so much. I wish the conflict with his father got expanded upon tho dear god. Like, ur gonna tell me his dad was executed by a church sanctioned and politcally motivated battle and theres NO internal conflict that arises???? even just from the meta of Lonato being able to attack his son within that battle?? bro....i love how he plays off other characters but i genuinely feel, unless there’s more story coming up, it was such a missed opportunity for complex character development

Mercedes: I really love her! I really like that she’s this mini subversion of the passive, sweet and oblivious healer trope. Mercedes IS very kind but she’s also perhaps the most perceptive character of the house with very keen insight into how other people operate. She instantly recognises that Sylvain flirting is usually a sign that he doesn’t think he needs to connect w or take you seriously, she takes the time to ask Dedue about his culture and history specifcally because she’s intimately aware of being the legacy of a decimated family. I just like her a whole lot!

Slyvain: pls don’t look at me once again liking pretty boys with depth oh my god im embaressed already I like him! He’s very funny and a nice, lighthearted addition to the cast that contrasts very well with more serious characters like Felix and Dedue. I’m very curious to see if his understandable cynacism towards genuinely connecting w people on a romantic level gets explored for what it is. It’s an interesting bit of selfishness to his character but I really want to see the generalisations of his mindset unpacked, even if the root cause of them is understandable 

Felix: An asshole but a hilarious and interesting one. All jokes aside, his support with Demitri and Dedue in particular shine an especially good and interesting light on his internal conflict regarding strength/chivalry and how it relates so deeply to his past. It’s interesting to see where his mindset falters, what boundaries it has. Strength is valued, but not to the extent where he accepts or justifies the murder of innocents. Felix mocks the idea of chivalry but it’s in key part to what he thinks is worth dying for (insert me dying about what i got spoiled on lmao); he hates that his father saw Glenn’s death as of value simply because it was in service to idealism. I really like him a lot, his various supports really Really help flesh out his character so well. 

Ingrid: my GIRLLLLLL i wish you had more sapphic content oh my god why does this game hate me personally. Overall I like her! I just haven’t hit any content w her that’s grabbed me by the horns so to speak. I’m waiting to see if the conflict being teased w duty versus dreams w her comes to fruition because goddamn i really want ingrid to being genuinely torn on it!

#ask games #anon #long post #LONG POST WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK #Anonymous

[thesnadger]

Celebrating Pride with a long, deeply navel-gazing, and meandering analysis of my own orientation, labels, and why I like the word “queer.” No r/e..blog/s, plz and thank you.

I’ve known I was bisexual for a while, though I’ve been quiet about it for years due to an impressive myriad of anxieties and self-hating thinking patterns. I was out online for a while before I was out to anyone I knew in real life. Actually, it was probably a number of online friends becoming real-life friends that eased the transition between ‘out on my secret accounts no one I know in real life knows I have’ to where I am now, which is apparently ‘slowly trying to gaslight my acquaintances into thinking I’ve been out this whole time and they just didn’t notice.’

Over the past few years I’ve also wondered if I might or might not be somewhere in the gray-aro/ace range. I’ve had a number of aro and/or ace friends and mutuals talk to me about experiences that gave me some really strong, relatable ‘oh, it me’ moments. At the same time, I know I’m not full-on ace. I definitely experience attraction to other people, including strangers, it just seems like I do it less than most people. So okay. Gray-ace exists as a label. But then I’m led to thoughts like:

How much attraction is Enough to be allosexual instead of gray-ace? How can you TELL?

What even are romantic feelings if they aren’t just loving someone while being attracted to them? If I don’t understand that does it mean I’m aromantic, or does it just mean feelings are complicated and hard to nail down?

I haven’t dated anyone in a very long time and I’m honestly okay with that in a way it seems like most people wouldn’t be. Does that mean I’m gray-ace or is it just that society makes people place too much importance on romantic relationships and I’m way more chill about it than most?

Okay but I DO want a romantic/sexual partner. I’m definitely not going crazy for the lack of one, but it would be nice. Especially now that the idea of maybe dating a girl is starting to feel like something that might actually be an option and not so impossibly intimidating as to exist in the realm of pure fantasy. So even if I do exist somewhere in the gray area, does it matter?

If I’d known about Asexuality when I was a teenager would my dumb little queer journey have been different in any way?

 Meanwhile the conservative senator that lives in the back of my head just yells dumb shit at me about having to ‘pick’ being bi/pan or under the ace umbrella and tells me I’m being a greedy special snowflake and making up my own feelings, blah, blah, blah. That guy’s a real unhelpful asshole when it comes to any level of self-examination.

Even if some Deity Of Supreme Objective Queer Understanding came down from above and told me I belonged under the aro/ace umbrella, I’m not sure it’s a label I’d actually apply to myself. Mainly because I believe labels are best seen in terms of their utility.

For example: I know someone who spent years identifying as a lesbian because 90% of her crushes were on other women and they were the only people she really wanted to date, though she was occasionally attracted to men as well. She later started identifying as bisexual, not because who she was attracted to had changed, but out of backlash against biphobia she’d encountered and pride in her own bisexuality.

You could argue about what her sexuality “really” was or is. (I mean, it’d be rude as hell, but you could.) But ultimately it doesn’t matter because she used the label that worked for her until another label worked better, and that’s what labels are for. To help you move through and interact with the world.

I know people for whom the label of asexual was MASSIVELY liberating and I can absolutely understand why. I know there are some people for whom highly specific labels about their orientation and/or gender give them a feeling of solidity and identity and community and pride, and that is freaking wonderful. For me personally, the more specific a label is, the more I feel like I’m trying to pin down something about myself that is inherently nebulous and amorphous.

I would rather identify as bi/pan (terms I use interchangeably, sometimes depending on what social circle I’m in) than gray-aro/ace bi/pan (or something similar.) Partly because a label that specific gives me nervous tummy, partly because just like my colleague who identified as a lesbian because she wanted to date women, I think bi/pan sends the most accurate message about who I might be interested in dating.

“Queer” is a term I’m even more comfortable with. The vague amorphous “idk but not straight” vibe of it encompasses everything I feel super deeply, and I think a cis woman who identifies as “queer” still reads as “sapphic in some way” which is the main point I’d like to get across to strangers. “Queer” is liberating to me because it encompasses the feeling of ‘listen, who even knows what sexuality is, I know what I like when I see it and that’s enough, leave me alone with your attempts to define this shit” that I feel deep in my bones at all times.

Honestly in a weird way learning about asexuality and having some close friends who fall under that umbrella has made the idea of having a romantic/sexual partner more appealing to me because it’s eased a lot of the internal pressure to have one. Getting the idea that it isn’t compulsory into my head, that it isn’t a required part of being a healthy adult and therefore only something you should have because you want to have it actually made me go “oh. I think I do want that. Now that I know that not wanting it is a valid option.”

It’s not something I feel incomplete without, not something I’ll go crazy if I don’t have. It’s like the idea of travel -- I would really like to travel. I think it would be nice. But I’m not sitting at home weeping and feeling unfulfilled just because I’m not traveling right now.

I’m fine if I don’t. Still. I’d like to travel sometime.

Especially since. . . to be frank the idea that I might soon be medicated for something that’s been consuming an enormous amount of my mental energy my entire life makes me feel like I might actually get my life together enough that I have the brainspace to “travel.”

Either way, I’m a goddamned thirty-something adult with the brain of a baby queer just barely starting to accept herself and that’s something I’m going to have to live with.

#queer #pride #personal #no rebagels plz

[eviloneills-blog]

hi! you seem to know a lot about comics and i was wondering, what are your recommendations? knowing that my favorite character is Black Widow? thank you so much!

Oh my god thank you so much!!!! I don’t actually know all that much about comics- I’ve kind of been in and out of various comics randoms for 2 years, and I haven’t been around long enough to remember most of various Dramas. And I’m so sorry it’s taken this long to respond to your ask- I have spent DAYS considering the response. 

First up, Black Widow. Marvel hasn’t done a fantastic job with her, but the 2014-15 run that starts with “The Finely Woven Thread” is REALLY GOOD. It remembers that Natasha is more of a spy than a superhero, and it really digs into her individual character. Also, the art is great- Phil Noto is phenomenal, and the watercolors give it a sort of washed-out spy movie look that’s unique for comics and fits Nat very well. 

It’s a totally different sort of comic, but it’s one that dragged a lot of people into comics as a hobby (myself included) so I think I need to rep Ms. Marvel, starting at the beginning with her very first “No Normal” run. Kamala is THE MOST RELATABLE teen hero- she struggles to balance superheroing, school, and familial responsibilities, she’s a science and RPG nerd, she right some really weird My Little Pony crossover fic. She makes her outfit out of a literal swimsuit. Kamala really heralded a new era in comics and steered Marvel in a younger, more female-centric direction, so I think this is one of those books that’s gonna go down in history. Also, she’s Muslim and Pakistani and provides a really important young voice of color in the superhero world. And it’s great to see a Muslim family with “ordinary” concerns- Kamala’s grades, gentrification, super villains. 

Stylistically Kamala’s world is very similar to Spiderman: Homecoming, which is about where I’d label the “angst and violence” level for this specific comic. 

My current favorite underrated comic is the DC Rebirth “Green Lanterns” comic. Admittedly the art isn’t the best, but the writing is honestly so sweet and  .  . . life affirming? The Green Lantern lore is really weird, but this comic was fine for a newbie like myself, and it runs on a different premise than the previous ones: Two green lantern of earth. Who have to work together. It’s the ultimate buddy-cop/friendship story, and it succeeds based off of the charm of it’s leads: Jessica Cruz, a Latina woman with anxiety and severe PTSD, and Simon Baz, a Lebanese Muslim man who’s introduction in a previous comic was admittedly not the greatest but who shines in this one. 

Their friendship is really the focus of this comic, and it’s really awesome. Simon and Jess are the ultimate goofballs that YOU WANT as Earth’s guardians, even if they have a rocky start. It’s a really fun ride, and neither of the them exist in a vacuum- their families are around and important to their characters. There’s an entire issue devoted to Simon trying to bake the perfect maamoul cookies to impress his mother, for instance, that digs into their personal issues. 

One of my other favorite ongoing comics is Silk, starring Cindy Moon. It’s another great female-focused comic, and some much needed Asian-American rep. Cindy is adorable and relatable and on a quest to find her parents after being locked in a bunker for years.  (side note why do so many female character have traumatic backstories involving bunkers/training from childhood to be assassins/cults this seems like way to much of a running theme.) Her ongoing travails with her Chaotic Neutral mentor Felicia Hardy are a particular highpoint, but Cindy in general is my girl. 

Finally, the Black Panther written by Ta-Nehisi Coates is ART. Seriously. It’s a modern masterpiece. It’s a beautiful work of Afro-futurism, with gorgeous art that explores Wakanda in loving detail, and it’s a deep exploration of government, freedom, and the organization of power. The spreads are vivid, and Coates’ characterization of T’challa as both a deeply human, caring, and compassionate man and a king in the 21st century is brilliant. Read and get #hyped for the film. 

Some honorable mentions are: The current Elektra series, which I’ve the first two issues of but love because it confirms how very very sapphic Elektra is, the Ghost Rider series with Robbie Reyes because Robbie is my boy, and the current Birds of Prey series, which I’ve also read like 3 issues of but which features HELENA BERTINELLI! My queen. 

Also Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye is great, because Clint is a mess and we love him for it. The art is simple and fun but also dazzlingly creative, and Kate is one of my favorite characters of all time. Delightful.

#asks #thank you so much for this question i loved answering it!

[literaryinspiredwebserieslove]

The Real Reason Why I Love Lovely Little Losers Despite Everything

Major LLL spoilers ahead.

I can talk forever about realism and wonderful scripts and innovation within the genre and all sorts of things that I love about what The Candle Wasters did with LLL. And all of that is true, but of course it doesn’t subtract from the series’ many, many problems.

Basically everyone I know in the LIW community has massive issues with LLL, even the ones who are also major fans. I understand that. I understand that people didn’t get what they wanted out of the treatment of Beadick. I get that people are unhappy with the low level of sapphic pairings. I especially get the frustration at the lack of apologies and of acknowledgment of the characters’ mental health issues. Yes, all of those things are issues.

The first time I watched LLL, I was deeply unsatisfied. I skipped a lot of it. I didn’t really care. Then I decided I should watch it again properly. I did. I enjoyed it. I read all of @beatriceeagle and @marydebenham ‘s LLL Rewatch in a day, plus all the notes on all of the posts. Then I did another rewatch. It was becoming evident at this point that maybe I actually did like the series. 

I won’t go through the rest of my saga of LLL-ness because I doubt anyone is interested, but the long and short of it is that I rewatched that damn webseries ten times in three months, and only one of those was with another person. I obsessed about it to the point of writing long rambly analyses of absolutely everything (no, I am not going to post those) and was a lot of what inspired me to start this particular blog.

Between last October and the end of February, I was in a dark place, the kind of place where nothing seems to work out and nothing seems to help and there isn’t even a REASON for that. I’m sure that a professional would have been able to tell me all the names for all of my problems, but I didn’t go to see one. I didn’t discuss my mental health issues with anyone, either, because I didn’t understand what they were and I didn’t have the words. And of course because I couldn’t handle facing the people in my life with those sorts of issues and had no idea how to even start.

Enter Peter Donaldson. He went from frustrating me to being one of the three fictional characters in the world I relate to the most. 

He was newly out as bisexual and also about as fucked up as it is possible to be (for reasons other than his sexuality). At the beginning of LLL, Peter is closing out everyone in his life, and he doesn’t have the words to describe his issues. He knows he has them, but he is unwilling to address them in any way. Once could argue that they never get addressed, and they certainly never do onscreen. 

That’s because Peter’s changes (and the other flatmates’ as well, of course, I’m just focusing on my man P. Donaldson) are internal. If LLL had been a novel, Peter’s internal monologue would have been screaming with tormented thoughts and emotions and very little clarity. Is that problematic? Of course it is. It was also the only example I could find in contemporary literature of someone who was going through the same thing as me, someone who never truly vocalized their issues, who got through thanks to intangible things, who never had a real label for their mental health problems. 

On the Pedrazar front, I’m honestly happy that it took them such a long time to get together. I’m a big believer in relationships happening when both people are ready – “worthiness” has nothing to do with it. That readiness was one of my biggest issues with George Squared’s ending in NLTS. It’s why I was so happy when Peter and Wendy broke up at the end of Season One despite shipping them aggressively. The fact that Peter/Pedro and Balthazar didn’t get together after “one foot etc.” was wonderful because it meant that they got to work through their personal issues before becoming a thing. It meant that their relationship is much more likely to be successful than take two of George Squared, because they were ready when it happened.

Am I excusing the bad things about LLL? Absolutely not. But if you put an effort into thinking into it, the series is not objectively bad, just very difficult. I understand why other people will never be able to like it, but nonetheless, I am probably always going to love it.

#damn this blog just got personal #i usually don't write this sort of post #but i just felt like i needed to address this #lll #lolilo