#dogasks

[hauntedselves]

What does DID look like for someone who has no idea they have it?

lots and lots of confusion and denial! some examples:

they'll obviously have all the symptoms, but instead of knowing that they're attributed to trauma, parts, and dissociation, it's very confusing and many people feel like they're going crazy

amnesia is often glossed over or purposefully ignored ("i just have a bad memory", "i drink too much and it makes me forget", etc)

lots of excuses about part behaviour ("doesn't everyone act like a kid when their favourite childhood show comes on though...?")

attributing things that in hindsight are obviously DID to thinks like the supernatural, imaginary friends, religious experiences, magic, demon or spirit possession, hypnotism, an overactive imagination etc

thinking everyone has these kinds of experiences, not realising that they're not universal

attributing symptoms to other disorders (especially BPD, substance use, bipolar disorder, seizure disorders, traumatic brain injuries, psychosis) or gender dysphoria (or otherkinity/therianthropy even)

remembering only some of the trauma, but thinking that that's all of it

feeling ashamed at their strange, inexplicable behaviour, and being unable to account for it

Here is another post on recognising signs of DID in hindsight.

#dogasks #no bold #dissociative identity disorder

[mangedog]

i honestly really relate to you wishing you were transfem. I do too, so much that it hurts. But I never say anything because I don't think anyone in the community would accept it. I constantly wish I was born male and transitioned in a non-binary way. I tell myself I can be a male non-binary. I just have to take extra steps (taking T first). That's how I survive this feeling. But honestly being born the way I am feels like such a prison in terms of gender. sorry about this little vent

no i agree 100%... there is a small transmascfem / transfemasc / ftmtf / mtftm community but i feel like even within that, it's more of a...presentation focused thing rather than this feeling? obviously not for everyone, that's just the vibe i get.

i guess its just hard because theres this idea that if (binary) trans people could've been born their actual gender, they would choose that. but as a transfem, i was born that gender, except it was still wrong. i can never transition in a way that soothes all aspects of my dysphoria.

i guess part of the cure is to de-binarise society... but that's a task thats bigger than you or i.

#dogasks #no bold #its good to know youre not alone. #transfemasc #transmascfem #ftmtf #mtftm #ftmtx #mtftx

[thatdogmagic]

I can't imagine what Tumblr was thinking with the Commuity Labels. They already got sued once for suppressing and censoring content, and now they're doing it again but with a "oh it wasn't really us, it was other people who put the label on" like they weren't the ones who introduced the flawed system in the first place. Community Labels can work as filtering, but they're being so abused right now that it's crazy.

I shot an ask off to @monstrifex about this wondering if their public shaming had been lifted (it hasn't), but even beyond all of the above, *all* of which is bad enough, there's a pettiness to it that's hard to ignore.

Like, if they deem your blog too offensive, Tumblr will just strip it of its identity, force a 'mature audiences only' label on the whole thing, and pixelate your (now default) avatar. Insult to injury - as if the proverbial scarlet letter isn't enough - is taking literal months to address creators who go through the effort to "clean up" their blog to Tumblr's arbitrary specifications.

In the end, IDK what to take from that aside from Tumblr saying 'we didn't get sued hard enough.'

#dogasks #tumblr #tumblr staff

[assistancedogmischa]

Hi! I’m researching dog breeds for my future service dog and I haven’t seen anyone working with maremma or maremma cross breeds even though they seem amazing. I’m a wheelchair user and I’m mostly looking for a dog to help with mobility and a little bit of crowd control, because honestly for medical and mental health reasons I’m sick of people touching me and my wheelchair. My only issue is that many dogs seem to be nervous around my wheelchair, would you mind sharing any experience you have with mobility aids, or how you do in a team with busier spaces?

Do you find that training and tasking is enough stimulation with regular exercise to keep them happy, so many people seem to warn they aren’t good companions.

TL;DR - i wouldn't recommend maremmas for A/SD work, but with careful screening and training you definitely could make it work!

pros:

generally pretty healthy, as they weren't really selectively bred

great with kids, very loving of their humans

big size is great for mobility work & crowd control

cons:

often have aggression issues

high prey drive

stubborn

need lots of socialisation

can be either a pro or a con depending on your view:

wary of strangers, sometimes to the point of being scared of them

high energy, need lots of stimulation

expanded on below:

on the whole i wouldn't recommend maremmas for A/SD work. they're livestock guardians, bred to aggressively protect their livestock, which means they often have aggression issues. mischa happens to be an exception but he's definitely the odd one out.

traditionally, maremmas live by themselves with their livestock and don't have a whole lot of human interaction. this means they have a high prey drive as they were expected to catch their own food. they're wary of strangers [i consider this a plus though, for AD work, you don't have to train to ignore people like you would a lab], sometimes to the point of straight up scared and unwilling to interact with them. they're often stubborn, not a dog who lives to please. they need a lot of socialisation as pups.

you will also need to have some (fenced & secure) land for them to run around on - a typical suburban backyard may be enough if you supplement with physical and mental exercise, but really they need acreage / farmland. mischa loves to sit outside watching our animals for literal hours. but he does need other stimulation of course! ideally, training / tasking, play and an ~hour walk every day.

that said... there are always going to be exceptions. they're very big dogs (Mischa is 38kg / ~80lbs & 77cm / 30in tall), which is great for mobility (though learning tucking / to keep out of the way is an absolute must). they're great with kids, and if brought up with people they're very loving of their humans. they weren't selectively bred like most other breeds, so they tend to be pretty healthy.

like any breed, maremmas can be ADs, if you screen them and raise them properly, and they can be good companions if you know what they need. i'd suggest getting a cross breed, probably with an easier going breed like a lab.

as for your other questions, i don't use mobility aids but i would assume it's a desensitising issue - get them used to it as soon as possible and they'll be fine.

#i actually only wanted a purebred white swiss shepherd; not a maremma. but he's worked out ok lol #maremma #maremma sheepdog #maremmano #maremmano abruzzese sheepdog #maremma and abruzze sheepdog #dogasks #sorry that wasnt what u wanted to hear ! :/

[thatdogmagic]

Are you going to reupload all of your art from Twitter? I missed you leaving and really enjoyed your art. I am just wondering

There's a decent chance I will, but I'm not uploading anything else to the internet that isn't drowning in textures, watermarks, and a pass through Glaze. I'm not even sure I'll ever offer unmarked images to anyone but close friends, especially now that the Apartheid Blood Emerald Manbaby, Adobe and dA have all gone ahead and popped the cork on forcibly mulching uploaded images into some shitty bespoke AI.

AI has irrevocably changed how I'll handle uploading images/etc, such to the extent that when I figure out a good alt to Patreon for paywalling work, even that work will remain Glazed/watermarked*.

Printed copies will also be a no-go until there is an anti-scan/photo variant of Glaze. It's a risk that is not worth taking unless doing so means helping to thoroughly poison the dataset these web3 techbro shitlords are all so busy shrieking about. * (EDIT: And I suggest other artists, no matter what material they produce, start doing the same. Adult artists especially have their paywalled work scraped and chucked up on image boards all the fucking time, to the point that DMCA safaris have been a yearly thing for well over a decade. Your $2 and even $20 entry fees are not a deterrence, they're a pittance to pay in exchange for additional dataset training.)

#dogasks

[thatdogmagic]

this moi??

This moi.

#Best brand I could ask for #wlw #dogasks #not technically an ask #it qualifies tho

[thatdogmagic]

just wanted to say that your art is wonderful and singlehandedly reignited my love for werewolves :)

bless u thk u <3

#dogasks #thatartmagic

[mangedog]

Make it indefinite, please. The reddit blackout didn't work because it was 48 hours and there was an end date

you're right, and some subreddits are discussing options (like going permanently private, or going private once or twice a week indefinitely) for this reason.

honestly. the only reason i don't want it to be indefinite is because... i like using Tumblr. but - two people have tried to blaze my post, and both have been rejected. i reached out to support about it, they said it doesn't meet their advertising policy. literally the only reason they rejected it was because they reserve the right to reject an ad for any reason... meaning, they rejected the blaze campaign because they knew this would hurt them.

making it indefinite would hurt them the most, so yeah - let's do it.

#dogasks #tumblr blackout #described #described in alt text #tumblr protest

[hauntedselves]

hey ! do you have anything on emotional permanence in bpd ? esp in relation to other people

emotional permanence (things like not being able to remember feeling loved even though you were happily cuddling your partner an hour ago, or being angry and feeling like no other emotion exists apart from anger) is very common in BPD (and other PDs). it's why we split - it's the whole mechanism behind splitting, actually. emotions seem to only exist in the time that we're feeling them. relationships are only secure (the borderline only feels secure) when we're actively being reassured of its security. if you and your friend are fighting, you can't recall ever feeling loved and wanted by your friend and they must only hate you. cue splitting!

ways to deal with emotional permanence:

keep physical reminders of your friends' & family's love for you (photos of a trip you took together, a birthday present, etc)

keep nice texts and voice messages sent to you

come up with a list of reasons why they love you (all the nice things they do for you, etc)

practice dialectical thinking (x and y can both be true at the same time; e.g. you can be angry at yourself and love yourself at the same time)

practice other DBT skills like wise mind (keeping a balance between your emotional mind and your rational mind)

keep a diary or mood tracker - this way you can see when you've felt other emotions and remind yourself that other emotions do exist and you do experience them (good or bad)

schedule times frequently (how frequent is up to you) to keep in contact with loved ones so you have periodic reminders of their love

(emotional permanence doesn't just apply to relationships, and not just romantic relationships (therapeutic relationships are a big one), and it's not just BPD that experiences it - it's also a part of dissociative disorders, (C)PTSD, ADHD, and probably any other disorder that comes with emotional dysregulation and interpersonal difficulties)

#dogasks #emotional permanence #bpd #bpd info #pd info #pd splitting #bpd splitting #splitting

[thatdogmagic]

What wares would a were-wolf wear to a were-fashion show

Anything they want~

#dogasks #ch: Caroline #but you'll probably get points if it shreds stylishly

[hauntedselves]

I know this is a really vague question, but what are some possible ways having BPD could effect someone with DID or OSDD?

i think it would turn identity confusion up to 100. people with BPD tend to experience identity disturbances as one or more of these four factors:

role absorption ("defin[ing] themselves in terms of a single role or cause"),

painful incoherence (distress over identity confusion),

inconsistency (an "objective incoherence in thought, feeling, and behavior")

and lack of commitment

(from Wilkinson-Ryan & Western, 'Identity Disturbance in BPD: An Empirical Investigation', American Journal of Psychiatry (2000))

if someone had BPD with comorbid DID/OSDD, we can see how these factors would be amplified and probably split among parts.

mood swings would probably also be split among parts (e.g., one part holds anger, another joy, etc.). there might be parts who specifically deal with the intense anger people with BPD can experience.

fear of abandonment probably plays into trauma (neglect, emotional and physical especially). i can imagine young parts would experience this symptom especially strongly.

parts may come into conflict over impulsivity, especially as BPD impulsivity is damaging.

emptiness may accompany dissociation, especially depersonalisation.

and of course BPD dissociation will be a much more prominent symptom with a comorbid dissociative disorder!

you may find this post on BPD & DID comorbidity by this-is-not-dissociative useful.

#dogasks #bpd #bpd vs did #bpd and did/osdd #comorbidity #apologies for taking a year to answer this!

[hauntedselves]

do you have any advice for finding a competent therapist for DID? like questions to ask them, things to look for, things to avoid, etc. ?

generally, finding a therapist for DID is the same process as for any issue, except that they need to be knowledgeable - or willing to learn - about dissociation and complex trauma.

red flags for therapists specific to DID are things like not believing in it or believing its socio- / iatrogenic / therapist-induced, pushing abuse narratives onto you, pushing a specific healing goal onto you, only willing to talk to the host, pushing you to discuss details of trauma (especially if you're not ready or have only just met)...

here's some tips from this-is-not-dissociative, a PDF from Sidran Institute, a question sheet from a DID book, and some tips from @/switchcase (copy-pasting in case of mobile inaccessibility as it's a blog page, not a post):

if you’re worried you can’t afford a therapist:

ask potential therapist if they offer sliding scale and/or payment plans

check your community clinic and see if they have therapists there. community clinics are either free or low cost. many of them (not all) are trauma-informed or sometimes even knowledgeable about DID/OSDD because of the type of people commonly needing to use community clinics. my current therapist is an isstd member and has a waitlist for clients and volunteers at a clinic for the homeless/at risk for free

if you can’t find a dissociative specialist in your vicinity, search for trauma therapists. some will know about DID/OSDD or be willing to learn

if the lowest priced option is still too much for you, see if they’re willing to offer less sessions. once every 2-4 weeks is better than nothing

how to find a therapist: if you have insurance: go to your insurance website and log in. you can crosscheck names here to make sure that someone is covered by your insurance

http://isst-d.org has a directory for people that pay to be members (meaning they go to continuing education stuff or access resources ISSTD has). you can then narrow by zipcode and then crosscheck the names with your insurance page

you can also google “dissociative therapist [zipcode]”. a psychologytoday website will pop up, and basically it’s a yellowpages for therapists that claim to be dissociative specialists. keep in mind they get to put whatever they want on there, so be sure to check if they just claimed they specialize in everything and be sure to interview them

Things to Ask Your Potential Therapist:

do you offer a free initial consultation?

do you take [insert your insurance company] insurance?

do you have experience working with DID/OSDD?

how long have you been working with DID/OSDD?

what methods do you use in treatment?

how do you view clients with DID/OSDD? (this is open ended for a reason, some of their answers will set off red flags)

my goal for therapy is [goal], what would our first steps be?

i have [problem/symptom], is that something we can work on?

do you take continuing education credits, go to conferences, or research about dissociative disorders?

do you have experience with [insert specific trauma]? (OPTIONAL, useful if you have “heavy/unusual” traumas or a trauma that is very important to talk about)

#dogasks #dissociative identity disorder #therapist interview #therapy #recovery

[thatdogmagic]

Okay, are werefoxes a thing?

Potentially! I don't know yet!

I've tried to limit a lot of my worldbuilding to what's happening in the here and now, lest I just stay caught in WIP hell forever.

Foxes do have a place in a specific thread of werewolf culture, though, appearing primarily in the Fox Hunt, a form of execution.

A human or werewolf is fitted with a fox mask and pelt - both sewn straight onto skin - and sent off running into a designated chunk of territory. Nearly all werewolves in the immediate area will be there in attendance to hunt the victim down and, once caught, wait for the others to harry and tear them to shreds.

Death isn't immediate. It's brutal, and reserved primarily for those that threaten to reveal werewolves' existence to outsiders.

In theory, anyway. In practice, as you might imagine, it's not always that cut and dry.

Why it's a fox has to do with Reynard and Ysengrimus. Though Reynard is recognized as a folk hero, the 'man of the people,' humiliating the church and undermining its leadership, the choice of species wasn't lost on werewolves of that era. Reynard's own pointless cruelties - specifically, the rape of Ysengrimus's wife in the actual RL text - are a stark reminder that commoners see wolves in every devil that exists, and will betray them accordingly. Often horrifically.

#werewolf #werewolves #reynard #fox #werefox #dogasks #doglore #thatartmagic #ch: Esther #not to be confused with Hester

[mangedog]

couple of things re: the blackout protest

if you don't think it's a good idea, or can't do it for whatever reason... just don't do it then

i'm not asking people to delete their accounts or blogs, just not use tumblr for some time

not using mobile but still using desktop / web defeats the purpose of a blackout

i'm still working on a place for everyone interested in the blackout to come together and brainstorm, give updates etc. suggestions at this point include telegram, discord, a forum (e.g. proboards), a google doc (likely would become very big and unwieldy quickly)...

we also need a place for staff to contact us, in the event of an actual conversation (which is what needs to happen)

this is a work in progress! we still have 11 days (my time) to figure this out before June 30th, and if the notes are anything to go by, there's a whole heap of people interested.

and in the end... this is a social media website, it's a great place but it's not a high stake strike where we're asking for wage increases to keep up with the cost of living. we're asking a website (that may be defunct in 5, 10, 20 years!) to make some improvements and undo some harm. great if it works, sucks if it doesn't, but it's honestly not as high risk as some people seem to be making it out to be. (that doesn't mean it's not important and i'm not invested in this, i'm just saying. it's not a make-or-break thing.)

#dogasks #tumblr protest #tumblr blackout

[mangedog]

I saw ur tumblr blackout post and I wanted to suggest that people also put negative reviews of tumblr on the App Store/equivalent - they care so much about new users right now that detailing all the negative changes and demands to have things reversed somewhere new users are most likely to see them feels like a good way to get tumblr to listen

for eg: this happened when they put the marketplace button in place of the profile button. there were a bunch of negative reviews on the App Store about it and then they actually changed that one back to normal so I feel like this is a good way to hit them where it hurts ig and make them listen to us

good idea!!

#dogasks #tumblr blackout #tumblr protest

[hauntedselves]

Another thing, do you have any resources on NPD+BPD comorbidity? I looked and could only find "how to spot an abuser" articles.

people with NPD & BPD both need attention and validation from others, and have very fragile self-esteem

the reasons behind the need for attention is different: narcissists need to be reminded they’re important; borderlines need to be reminded they’re not going to be abandoned

someone with both would be very easily jealous

people with NPD are internally focused, while borderlines are externally focused

people with NPD have low empathy, people with BPD may have hyperempathy or fluctuating levels of empathy; someone with both will probably have low and/or fluctuating empathy

borderlines are impulsive, narcissists aren’t (though they may be when it comes to their self-image)

narcissists are prone to grandiosity & manipulation, and can have delusions of grandeur

both can have a need to be in control & are prone to eating disorders, depression, anxiety and emotional dysregulation

people with BPD have chronic feelings of emptiness, narcissists don’t outside of shame spirals (”narc crash”)

people with BPD have intense, volatile relationships, while people with NPD don’t; someone with both may have unstable relationships exacerbated by NPD superiority

both struggle a lot with keeping anger in check

narcissists put people in hierarchies, and borderlines tend to think they’re beneath people, so someone with both may think they are low on their hierarchy

people with BPD have difficulty planning for the future

both can have depression, suicidal thoughts, restlessness, and difficulties with self-identity and social relationships

shame is a hallmark of NPD, but also pops up in BPD a lot (thanks to trauma, splitting, mood swings, etc)

needing to see yourself as superior is more NPD, but again could also be part of mood swings & splitting in BPD

+ see also this post

#dogasks #npd #npd info #bpd #bpd info #pd comorbidity #c+p'd from another ask with the aspd parts removed lol #no bold #pd info